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Hot Damned #7
Fashionably Dead and Wed
I know I’m already mated…I wanna get married.
What do you get when you combine a three headed monster named Charles, a rotund, gay, dancing Demon named Doug, a culinary disaster baked by Mother Nature, a celibate premarital councilor named Jeff, an offer from Satan that’s impossible to refuse and Steve Perry?
You get the Royal Wedding from Hell—or to be more accurate—possibly in Hell.
All I want to do is marry the Vampyre of my dreams with my closest friends and family in attendance. Yep, I know nuptials in the undead world are unheard of, but I’m still hanging onto my humanity if only by a thread. Being mated is great, but getting married is important to me.
Tacky invitations and cake that causes food poisoning aside, I also need to deal with the stream of Demons entering my world from mysteriously opened portals. Not to mention Angel Jeff is going to fail us on the premarital test if we participate in any nookie before the wedding.
I’m trying really hard not to go bridezilla on everyone. With five days to plan the wedding, I have figure out who’s opening the portals and deal with our hostile allies who think our wedding is a farce. It’s been a very difficult week—especially the no nookie part.
All I know is this, I will say "I do" on Saturday even if it I have to go to Hell and back to accomplish it.
What do you get when you combine a three headed monster named Charles, a rotund, gay, dancing Demon named Doug, a culinary disaster baked by Mother Nature, a celibate premarital councilor named Jeff, an offer from Satan that’s impossible to refuse and Steve Perry?
You get the Royal Wedding from Hell—or to be more accurate—possibly in Hell.
All I want to do is marry the Vampyre of my dreams with my closest friends and family in attendance. Yep, I know nuptials in the undead world are unheard of, but I’m still hanging onto my humanity if only by a thread. Being mated is great, but getting married is important to me.
Tacky invitations and cake that causes food poisoning aside, I also need to deal with the stream of Demons entering my world from mysteriously opened portals. Not to mention Angel Jeff is going to fail us on the premarital test if we participate in any nookie before the wedding.
I’m trying really hard not to go bridezilla on everyone. With five days to plan the wedding, I have figure out who’s opening the portals and deal with our hostile allies who think our wedding is a farce. It’s been a very difficult week—especially the no nookie part.
All I know is this, I will say "I do" on Saturday even if it I have to go to Hell and back to accomplish it.
337 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 20, 2016
909 people are currently reading
770 people want to read
About the author
Robyn Peterman
88 books3,257 followersRobyn writes because the people inside her head won’t leave her alone until she gives them life on paper. Her addictions include shoes (the expensive kind), Coke with extra ice in a styrofoam cup, and bejeweled reading glasses.
A former professional actress, she now lives in the south with her family and too many animals to count. Writing gives her a chance to have a job where working in her P.J.’s is acceptable. You can follow Robyn at http://www.robynpeterman.com and at Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/Robyn-P....
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 171 reviews
November 24, 2018
Not as funny as the other Astrid books in the series, but it was still damn good. Full review to come
November 6, 2016
Another great addition to the Hot Damned Series, lets get to the good stuff.
- Martha and Jane are punished - they have to be completely covered, all the time. This was a ticking bomb...
I’d like to suggest that you all pray with your rosemary and ask Astrid’s Uncle God and Cousin Asian Female Jesus for forgiveness for doubting the existence of the Second Coming of Buddha Jones,”
- Satan was mentioned at 5% and I'm an ecstatic house elf.
Satan wants the wedding to be held in the Devil's Den and he knows how to make it happen.
Satan tries to be a father to Astrid, he was sincere in his own way. He offered advice and sent a spy to stay on top of things. Even with the manipulation and bargains, he was there when she needed it.
No, Astrid,” Ethan cut me off. “We are not keeping Charles. He’s Satan’s spy.”
“But he cried,” I reasoned, sounding like an idiot even to my own ears. “All three of his hideous heads sobbed and I felt bad.”
- The Royal family is cursed and the siblings are taking it seriously.
- Vampire politics, mischief maker running around opening portals and crazy demons. I thought I knew who did it; I had a clear suspect, motive and I couldn't have been more wrong. The twist was crazy, I approve.
- The Immortal family is back and wants to be involved in this Supernatural wedding. But is The Wedding a sure thing?
- Robyn Peterman is at her best with Ethan and Astrid. They are learning on the job and its lots of fun. This book was light, funny and fast.
The only flaw I can think of - The Prophecy was forgotten at some point and I hope it makes an appearance soon.
I would love to read a book revolving around The Prince of Darkness, he's my favorite in this series and I can't get enough. He deserves to find his mate soon.
- Martha and Jane are punished - they have to be completely covered, all the time. This was a ticking bomb...
I’d like to suggest that you all pray with your rosemary and ask Astrid’s Uncle God and Cousin Asian Female Jesus for forgiveness for doubting the existence of the Second Coming of Buddha Jones,”
- Satan was mentioned at 5% and I'm an ecstatic house elf.
Satan wants the wedding to be held in the Devil's Den and he knows how to make it happen.
Satan tries to be a father to Astrid, he was sincere in his own way. He offered advice and sent a spy to stay on top of things. Even with the manipulation and bargains, he was there when she needed it.
No, Astrid,” Ethan cut me off. “We are not keeping Charles. He’s Satan’s spy.”
“But he cried,” I reasoned, sounding like an idiot even to my own ears. “All three of his hideous heads sobbed and I felt bad.”
- The Royal family is cursed and the siblings are taking it seriously.
- Vampire politics, mischief maker running around opening portals and crazy demons. I thought I knew who did it; I had a clear suspect, motive and I couldn't have been more wrong. The twist was crazy, I approve.
- The Immortal family is back and wants to be involved in this Supernatural wedding. But is The Wedding a sure thing?
- Robyn Peterman is at her best with Ethan and Astrid. They are learning on the job and its lots of fun. This book was light, funny and fast.
The only flaw I can think of - The Prophecy was forgotten at some point and I hope it makes an appearance soon.
I would love to read a book revolving around The Prince of Darkness, he's my favorite in this series and I can't get enough. He deserves to find his mate soon.
January 24, 2020
"Mommy, me know what you're doing," Samuel said, stroking my face and planting a wet one on my cheek.
"What am I doing?" I asked with faux innocence as I returned the smooch with great pleasure.
"You is making sure that me be a good boy in Hell," he replied with a mischievous little grin.
"Possibly," I agreed with a smile, pulling a Superman t-shirt over his head and then trying to tame his wild blond curls.
I stared at my baby and a teeny tiny eeny weenie part of me wished I could give him a sister or a brother. Yes, pregnancy sucked, but the prize at the end was worth every craving, ache and pain I'd had. The debatable rational side of my brain knew it would never happen, but…
"How bout this," Samuel suggested with an adorably evil little smirk as he pulled off the Superman t-shirt and replaced it with a Napoleon Dynamite one. "How bout me be a good boy and we get a baboon friend for Blobbityflonk?"
"Hmmm, interesting," I replied, squinting at my little deal-maker. "Two questions. Are you blackmailing your mommy and have you watched the movie Napoleon Dynamite?"
Samuel clasped his small hands together and gave me a mini eye roll - very reminiscent of his father. It was all I could do not to laugh. Granted, my son was one powerful little sucker, but he was still my baby.
"Me no blackmail you, Mommy," Samuel explained seriously, pointing a chubby finger in my face and pressing on my nose. "Me see an opening and me take it. And yes, the Baby Demons showed me the movie."
"Figures," I muttered as I scooped him up and tossed him in the air, much to his great delight. He was getting bigger by the day, but my Vampyre strength came in very handy when playing with my child.
"Okaaaaaaay," my little man said, regrouping his tactics. "How bout me no turn people purple if mommy say no potty words at wedding?"
"That's a very dangerous deal on my part," I said as I wrinkled my nose and realized we might be in the market for a new baboon.
Update:
Now that I'm not annoyed with this, I enjoyed it. But, I didn't love it. It was funny, just like all the others. I'm not real sure why I didn't enjoy it as much as the others, maybe it was the pacing, or the timeline in which the events happen that felt off, probably it was just me. I can't pinpoint it, but I still like the series and I'm still absolutely going to keep reading it.
Original:
On hold until I decide whether or not to go back and buy book 6. It's included in the Romancing the Paranormal: All New Tales anthology, but is either only some of the story, or it was expanded when it was published on its own. Either way I'm missing a bunch of shit that apparently happened. Which wouldn't bother me if I had just known before hand. I probably would have bought the book on its own anyway but now I'm pissed about it since I thought I already had it. And that was one of the only reasons I bought that bundle. Oh well, rant over. I'll be back to this after I read the right book 6…and I'll do that when I'm not so pissy about having to go back and buy it.
We all stood silently, lost in our own thoughts. However, I was quite sure my thoughts were very different from those of Heathcliff, Raquel and Gareth.
"So did you pop that skank, Harry?" I asked Ethan with raised brows and my arms crossed over my chest.
"Um…we have to go," Raquel said quickly as she grabbed Heathcliff and Gareth and pulled them toward the door with an expression of horror on her face.
"Yes." Gareth said with a barely veiled grin. "Would hate to see my brother get his ass handed to him. Wait. I'd love to see that. I think we should stay."
"We're leaving," Raquel hissed as she slapped her brother on the back of the head and shoved him out the door.
"We'll be staying in my old quarters tonight if you need a place to bunk," Heathcliff told Ethan with a quick bow as he sprinted after his mate.
"So you did poke her," I said, staring daggers at Ethan.
"I'm a great deal older than you," Ethan said, watching me warily. "You knew I wasn't a saint."
"This is correct," I agreed with a careless shrug. "I have no control over the women you slept with before me. However, in the future you will inform me of your belt notches before I get blindsided by them during a meeting."
"I'd forgotten about her," he confessed sheepishly.
Inside I cheered, but outwardly I stayed cool. "She certainly didn't."
"I'm memorable," he said with a smug grin.
"So you say…"
"Does someone who clearly meant little to nothing to me really bother you?" He scrubbed his hand over his face and tried to hide his smile.
"Let's turn that question around, Little Mister. How exactly would you feel if some dude was eyeball fucking me during a meeting because I'd horizontal mamboed with him several hundred years ago?"
His grin was gone - completely gone.
"Fair point. Well made," he growled. "Shall I kill her?"
"Um, no," I choked out on a somewhat horrified laugh. "You'd have to kill quite a few gals if I was that bloodthirsty. I'm not. I just didn't like the darling thing and the drool."
"Astrid, I'm yours completely. What can I do that would make you happy?"
I sat and contemplated for a long moment and then I felt a big very naughty grin pull at my lips. "After I talk with Satan, meet me in the empty suite on the third floor."
"The one near our guests?" he asked with a raised brow and a sexy little smirk.
"Yep."
His laugh went all through me and my tummy tingled with anticipation. I would show Harry-Scary-Larry-Mary just whose darling Ethan was.
~
"Will it get me laid?" he inquired with a smirk.
"It will get you so laid," I promised.
"About that," Jeff cut in, clearing his throat loudly and turning an ungodly shade of purple. "That's a big noperoonie. No-No."
"What is?" Ethan asked in a voice so low and menacing I considered scooting closer to the door.
"S-E-X," Jeff whispered and then glanced around warily as if he might get struck down by a bolt of lightning.
He didn't have to worry about lighting, I was about to smite his freckled ass through the roof.
"Jeff, we're already mated," I said in what I prayed passed for a reasonable tone. However, I was pretty sure I might have been baring my fangs at him. "The wedding is more of a formality because I wanted a human ceremony. We already have a child."
"Yes, I saw that in the file," Jeff said with disapproval heavy in his tone. "Which leads me to my next question. Are you using the rhythm method?"
"We have good rhythm," I replied carefully, not knowing what the Hell he was talking about.
How did a celibate Angel know sex terms I didn't? I wasn't about to let the nerdy virgin fail me for not knowing how to screw. I knew how to do the nasty and I was good at - or at least I knew how to enjoy it and made damn sure Ethan did too.
"I mean sometimes it's fast and sometimes it's slow, but generally it's very even. The beginning starts out a bit slower and then when we get close to the big O, it can get wild. Occasionally we break furniture, but not that often. Ethan is um…very…well endowed but that makes the rhythm much nicer and you know…bouncier. We don't actually sing or anything, but we are noisy, y'know if that helps. Ethan says I'm a screamer and I would concur with that one. Wouldn't you agree, Ethan?"
Ethan was an assbucket and no help at all as he bent forward, laughing hysterically. Jeff had gone an even deeper shade of purple and was gulping for air. It was at that point I realized rhythm had an entirely different meaning than I'd assumed.
Never fucking assume…
"We're done," I ground out through clenched teeth, reeling with embarrassment. I still had no clue what rhythm meant, but at this point I really didn't care. I wanted Jeff gone and I wanted to throat punch Ethan.
"Rhythm is a form of birth control," Jeff wheezed as he quickly shoved all of his paperwork back in his briefcase. "You should pick a form of birth control if you want to do family planning."
"I'm dead, you imbecile," I shouted, kicking a still laughing Ethan. "I can't get pregnant."
"Um…" Jeff scratched his head in confusion. "Did you adopt your child?"
I paused and let his question sink in. Ethan stopped laughing and stared at Jeff in surprise.
"No, it was prophecy - I'm the Chosen One. I shouldn't have been able to have a child, but I did," I told him.
"I see," Jeff said. "What's to say you couldn't get pregnant again?"
"I don't believe another child is in the prophecy," Ethan said with a thoughtful expression.
"Is the prophecy complete?" Jeff questioned logically. "Most are written in dead languages and difficult to decipher."
"Fine point. Well made," Ethan said to Jeff who preened like a girl under my mate's praise. "I'll have to speak with my father."
"Whoa," I cut into the love-fest. "I could get knocked up again?"
I adored my baby with every fiber of my being, but being pregnant sucked.
"I don't know," Jeff said. "But taking a precaution like rhythm, condoms or abstinence would be wise if you're not ready to expand your family."
Ethan's loud groan let everyone know loud and clear his opinion on the matter.
"Does rhythm work?" I inquired still not knowing how in the Hell to do it, but the other options weren't very appealing.
Jeff paused and thought for a long moment - too long. "The Catholics seem keen on the rhythm method," he replied without making a lick of eye contact.
Not really a good sign.
~
Jeff cleared his throat a few times, adjusted his wings and pushed his glasses up on his nose. "Because of the rather non-traditional venue, I've been forbidden to do a regular religious ceremony," Jeff said with a slightly sour look on his freckled face.
"Damn straight," Satan shouted and then got walloped by both his mother and father.
Ignoring the now cursing Devil, Jeff continued. "So why don't we go ahead with the vows you've written to each other."
Ethan and I froze. What in the living Hell was douchebag Jeff talking about? We were supposed to write vows? Why didn't I know this? I shot Charles a look that made him duck for cover. Shit, could our file be reopened? Would we fail because of this new fucked up wrinkle?
"Um…we didn't exactly write vows," I mumbled.
"You didn't do your homework?" Jeff asked looking down his nose at us as his wings ruffled in distress.
"We were kind of busy killing stuff and trying to stay alive," Ethan offered lamely.
"This could be a problem," he said. He produced a manual out of thin air and proceeded to frantically page through it searching for the answer of this new problem.
"Ahhh, give me a fucking break," Pam groused through a mouthful of cake as she stomped over from her position in line and shoved Jeff out of the way. "You are too pious for your own good, Jeff. What we need here is a female Angel with some sass and attitude. God, are you good with this?" Pam asked the Heavenly Father.
"I'm good." God gave Pam a thumbs up. "Let's try to keep the profanity to a minimum, though," he suggested.
"Will do. Asstastic, did you hear the man?" she demanded with a cackle.
"Pretty sure he was talking to you," I shot back with an eye roll.
"Hmm…" She considered the possibility and then shrugged it off with a grin. "You ready for me to marry you two?"
"Do we have a choice?" I asked with an answering grin.
"Nope."
"Then we're ready," Ethan chimed in gamely.
"What about the vows we didn't write?" I whispered to Pam.
"No worries. Just pull them out of your ass," she said.
"Pam…" God called out with a raised brow.
"Sorry," she apologized to her boss. "I meant to say butt - not ass. Pull them out of your butt… please."
"So we just make them up?" I asked, terrified.
"You have a better plan?" she inquired.
I looked at Ethan and then I looked back at Pam. I didn't have a better plan. I didn't have any plan at all.
"We'll wing it," I choked out to the delight of our friends and family.
Ethan nodded, but looked as unsettled as I felt.
We were about to wing the Hell out of it and then some.
The crowd stared and waited. If it was embarrassing, I planned to wipe the memories of everyone in attendance. It would be hard but doable.
"Just say what's in your heart," Pam suggested with a wink.
"I can do that," I said as I glanced up at Ethan and smiled. I could definitely do that.
"What am I doing?" I asked with faux innocence as I returned the smooch with great pleasure.
"You is making sure that me be a good boy in Hell," he replied with a mischievous little grin.
"Possibly," I agreed with a smile, pulling a Superman t-shirt over his head and then trying to tame his wild blond curls.
I stared at my baby and a teeny tiny eeny weenie part of me wished I could give him a sister or a brother. Yes, pregnancy sucked, but the prize at the end was worth every craving, ache and pain I'd had. The debatable rational side of my brain knew it would never happen, but…
"How bout this," Samuel suggested with an adorably evil little smirk as he pulled off the Superman t-shirt and replaced it with a Napoleon Dynamite one. "How bout me be a good boy and we get a baboon friend for Blobbityflonk?"
"Hmmm, interesting," I replied, squinting at my little deal-maker. "Two questions. Are you blackmailing your mommy and have you watched the movie Napoleon Dynamite?"
Samuel clasped his small hands together and gave me a mini eye roll - very reminiscent of his father. It was all I could do not to laugh. Granted, my son was one powerful little sucker, but he was still my baby.
"Me no blackmail you, Mommy," Samuel explained seriously, pointing a chubby finger in my face and pressing on my nose. "Me see an opening and me take it. And yes, the Baby Demons showed me the movie."
"Figures," I muttered as I scooped him up and tossed him in the air, much to his great delight. He was getting bigger by the day, but my Vampyre strength came in very handy when playing with my child.
"Okaaaaaaay," my little man said, regrouping his tactics. "How bout me no turn people purple if mommy say no potty words at wedding?"
"That's a very dangerous deal on my part," I said as I wrinkled my nose and realized we might be in the market for a new baboon.
Update:
Now that I'm not annoyed with this, I enjoyed it. But, I didn't love it. It was funny, just like all the others. I'm not real sure why I didn't enjoy it as much as the others, maybe it was the pacing, or the timeline in which the events happen that felt off, probably it was just me. I can't pinpoint it, but I still like the series and I'm still absolutely going to keep reading it.
Original:
On hold until I decide whether or not to go back and buy book 6. It's included in the Romancing the Paranormal: All New Tales anthology, but is either only some of the story, or it was expanded when it was published on its own. Either way I'm missing a bunch of shit that apparently happened. Which wouldn't bother me if I had just known before hand. I probably would have bought the book on its own anyway but now I'm pissed about it since I thought I already had it. And that was one of the only reasons I bought that bundle. Oh well, rant over. I'll be back to this after I read the right book 6…and I'll do that when I'm not so pissy about having to go back and buy it.
We all stood silently, lost in our own thoughts. However, I was quite sure my thoughts were very different from those of Heathcliff, Raquel and Gareth.
"So did you pop that skank, Harry?" I asked Ethan with raised brows and my arms crossed over my chest.
"Um…we have to go," Raquel said quickly as she grabbed Heathcliff and Gareth and pulled them toward the door with an expression of horror on her face.
"Yes." Gareth said with a barely veiled grin. "Would hate to see my brother get his ass handed to him. Wait. I'd love to see that. I think we should stay."
"We're leaving," Raquel hissed as she slapped her brother on the back of the head and shoved him out the door.
"We'll be staying in my old quarters tonight if you need a place to bunk," Heathcliff told Ethan with a quick bow as he sprinted after his mate.
"So you did poke her," I said, staring daggers at Ethan.
"I'm a great deal older than you," Ethan said, watching me warily. "You knew I wasn't a saint."
"This is correct," I agreed with a careless shrug. "I have no control over the women you slept with before me. However, in the future you will inform me of your belt notches before I get blindsided by them during a meeting."
"I'd forgotten about her," he confessed sheepishly.
Inside I cheered, but outwardly I stayed cool. "She certainly didn't."
"I'm memorable," he said with a smug grin.
"So you say…"
"Does someone who clearly meant little to nothing to me really bother you?" He scrubbed his hand over his face and tried to hide his smile.
"Let's turn that question around, Little Mister. How exactly would you feel if some dude was eyeball fucking me during a meeting because I'd horizontal mamboed with him several hundred years ago?"
His grin was gone - completely gone.
"Fair point. Well made," he growled. "Shall I kill her?"
"Um, no," I choked out on a somewhat horrified laugh. "You'd have to kill quite a few gals if I was that bloodthirsty. I'm not. I just didn't like the darling thing and the drool."
"Astrid, I'm yours completely. What can I do that would make you happy?"
I sat and contemplated for a long moment and then I felt a big very naughty grin pull at my lips. "After I talk with Satan, meet me in the empty suite on the third floor."
"The one near our guests?" he asked with a raised brow and a sexy little smirk.
"Yep."
His laugh went all through me and my tummy tingled with anticipation. I would show Harry-Scary-Larry-Mary just whose darling Ethan was.
~
"Will it get me laid?" he inquired with a smirk.
"It will get you so laid," I promised.
"About that," Jeff cut in, clearing his throat loudly and turning an ungodly shade of purple. "That's a big noperoonie. No-No."
"What is?" Ethan asked in a voice so low and menacing I considered scooting closer to the door.
"S-E-X," Jeff whispered and then glanced around warily as if he might get struck down by a bolt of lightning.
He didn't have to worry about lighting, I was about to smite his freckled ass through the roof.
"Jeff, we're already mated," I said in what I prayed passed for a reasonable tone. However, I was pretty sure I might have been baring my fangs at him. "The wedding is more of a formality because I wanted a human ceremony. We already have a child."
"Yes, I saw that in the file," Jeff said with disapproval heavy in his tone. "Which leads me to my next question. Are you using the rhythm method?"
"We have good rhythm," I replied carefully, not knowing what the Hell he was talking about.
How did a celibate Angel know sex terms I didn't? I wasn't about to let the nerdy virgin fail me for not knowing how to screw. I knew how to do the nasty and I was good at - or at least I knew how to enjoy it and made damn sure Ethan did too.
"I mean sometimes it's fast and sometimes it's slow, but generally it's very even. The beginning starts out a bit slower and then when we get close to the big O, it can get wild. Occasionally we break furniture, but not that often. Ethan is um…very…well endowed but that makes the rhythm much nicer and you know…bouncier. We don't actually sing or anything, but we are noisy, y'know if that helps. Ethan says I'm a screamer and I would concur with that one. Wouldn't you agree, Ethan?"
Ethan was an assbucket and no help at all as he bent forward, laughing hysterically. Jeff had gone an even deeper shade of purple and was gulping for air. It was at that point I realized rhythm had an entirely different meaning than I'd assumed.
Never fucking assume…
"We're done," I ground out through clenched teeth, reeling with embarrassment. I still had no clue what rhythm meant, but at this point I really didn't care. I wanted Jeff gone and I wanted to throat punch Ethan.
"Rhythm is a form of birth control," Jeff wheezed as he quickly shoved all of his paperwork back in his briefcase. "You should pick a form of birth control if you want to do family planning."
"I'm dead, you imbecile," I shouted, kicking a still laughing Ethan. "I can't get pregnant."
"Um…" Jeff scratched his head in confusion. "Did you adopt your child?"
I paused and let his question sink in. Ethan stopped laughing and stared at Jeff in surprise.
"No, it was prophecy - I'm the Chosen One. I shouldn't have been able to have a child, but I did," I told him.
"I see," Jeff said. "What's to say you couldn't get pregnant again?"
"I don't believe another child is in the prophecy," Ethan said with a thoughtful expression.
"Is the prophecy complete?" Jeff questioned logically. "Most are written in dead languages and difficult to decipher."
"Fine point. Well made," Ethan said to Jeff who preened like a girl under my mate's praise. "I'll have to speak with my father."
"Whoa," I cut into the love-fest. "I could get knocked up again?"
I adored my baby with every fiber of my being, but being pregnant sucked.
"I don't know," Jeff said. "But taking a precaution like rhythm, condoms or abstinence would be wise if you're not ready to expand your family."
Ethan's loud groan let everyone know loud and clear his opinion on the matter.
"Does rhythm work?" I inquired still not knowing how in the Hell to do it, but the other options weren't very appealing.
Jeff paused and thought for a long moment - too long. "The Catholics seem keen on the rhythm method," he replied without making a lick of eye contact.
Not really a good sign.
~
Jeff cleared his throat a few times, adjusted his wings and pushed his glasses up on his nose. "Because of the rather non-traditional venue, I've been forbidden to do a regular religious ceremony," Jeff said with a slightly sour look on his freckled face.
"Damn straight," Satan shouted and then got walloped by both his mother and father.
Ignoring the now cursing Devil, Jeff continued. "So why don't we go ahead with the vows you've written to each other."
Ethan and I froze. What in the living Hell was douchebag Jeff talking about? We were supposed to write vows? Why didn't I know this? I shot Charles a look that made him duck for cover. Shit, could our file be reopened? Would we fail because of this new fucked up wrinkle?
"Um…we didn't exactly write vows," I mumbled.
"You didn't do your homework?" Jeff asked looking down his nose at us as his wings ruffled in distress.
"We were kind of busy killing stuff and trying to stay alive," Ethan offered lamely.
"This could be a problem," he said. He produced a manual out of thin air and proceeded to frantically page through it searching for the answer of this new problem.
"Ahhh, give me a fucking break," Pam groused through a mouthful of cake as she stomped over from her position in line and shoved Jeff out of the way. "You are too pious for your own good, Jeff. What we need here is a female Angel with some sass and attitude. God, are you good with this?" Pam asked the Heavenly Father.
"I'm good." God gave Pam a thumbs up. "Let's try to keep the profanity to a minimum, though," he suggested.
"Will do. Asstastic, did you hear the man?" she demanded with a cackle.
"Pretty sure he was talking to you," I shot back with an eye roll.
"Hmm…" She considered the possibility and then shrugged it off with a grin. "You ready for me to marry you two?"
"Do we have a choice?" I asked with an answering grin.
"Nope."
"Then we're ready," Ethan chimed in gamely.
"What about the vows we didn't write?" I whispered to Pam.
"No worries. Just pull them out of your ass," she said.
"Pam…" God called out with a raised brow.
"Sorry," she apologized to her boss. "I meant to say butt - not ass. Pull them out of your butt… please."
"So we just make them up?" I asked, terrified.
"You have a better plan?" she inquired.
I looked at Ethan and then I looked back at Pam. I didn't have a better plan. I didn't have any plan at all.
"We'll wing it," I choked out to the delight of our friends and family.
Ethan nodded, but looked as unsettled as I felt.
We were about to wing the Hell out of it and then some.
The crowd stared and waited. If it was embarrassing, I planned to wipe the memories of everyone in attendance. It would be hard but doable.
"Just say what's in your heart," Pam suggested with a wink.
"I can do that," I said as I glanced up at Ethan and smiled. I could definitely do that.
December 9, 2016
Hell yes! Fuck yes! HELL FUCKING YES!
I can't wait for the Uncle God dammed release date! I fucking love sweary books and this is the sweariest series I've ever had the pleasure of reading! Damn! Now I don't feel so bad for my own potty mouth.
I can't wait for the Uncle God dammed release date! I fucking love sweary books and this is the sweariest series I've ever had the pleasure of reading! Damn! Now I don't feel so bad for my own potty mouth.
August 22, 2016
I love this series it always makes me laugh when reading more about our awesome characters. Get ready for another outstanding read as Astri gets ready to wed the love of her life. Get ready to dive in and enjoy another exciting story
September 19, 2016
I squealed when I saw that Astrid and Ethan were getting married . I knew that this was going to be a wedding of the century. Well ok for the decade but if you know Astrid and Ethan you know this vampire couple will not have an easy time getting to the alter . If they get there at all. With the family that Astrid happens to have its a wonder that she hasn't blown up half of the U.S . Between the demons coming through the portals and the family wanting to run the wedding it will make a woman go mental . Will they survive the demons and will they survive the wedding in hell.
All the characters are back in this addition to the series . Astrid is ass kicking again and trying not to stress out too much about her wedding . She is also trying to stay ahead of her 9 month old son Samuel who is growing fast. She is a strong foul mouth woman who loves her mate and her family and will do anything and everything to keep them from harm. I love her and have learnt some really cool new ways of swearing thanks to Astrid. She is my type of woman, I love her . Ethan and the rest of the gang is here also . I must say my all time favourite characters have to be Mother Nature she is so unpredictable and a laugh riot all glitter and hormones .
Robyn takes us a laugh riot, fun filled journey through Astrid's life . I have never laughed so hard . Robyn never ceases to amaze me with her fun witty writing. The story is fun and a fast read , I read it in an evening and laughed my way through it . Hubby just laughed at me when he heard me hysterically laughing . So I read him some of the passages and he was rolling on the floor . I have read everything from this author and I must say that with every book she puts out they get better and better . I can't wait to see where Astrid and Ethan go from here and what kind of trouble will their family get into . If you haven't read any of Robyn's books I suggest you do . You will laugh so hard your sides will hurt and you will fall in love. Check out the HOT DAMN series you wont be disappointed
November 29, 2017
Sigh, it was a decent book. The world building on it stumped me and distracted me from the decent plot. First an easy one. Is the King just a figure head or what? Why bother to put him on the page to attend meetings where he doesn’t talk and even Pam gives reverence to Ethan like he’s the King. He’s (Ethan’s dad) a pointless character. Second, the series opens up with different houses vying for Astrid to join them. Several books later... What happened to the different house when it feels like Ethan rules the entire vampire kingdom. I didn’t understand how the vamps who showed up fit into the house etc. They two ignored the King at the meeting which just perplexed me. It made it tough paying attention to the halfway interesting plot when the entire world building feels like its concocted on a whim of however the plot wind blows. Still, I’m in so deep I’ll continue. But I’m only half listening to this disaster of a series.
September 20, 2016
Astrid & Ethan are getting married! The road to wedded bliss will not be smooth. When I pick up a book by Robyn Peterman, I know I'll be entertained. And I wasn't disappointed. Laugh out loud fun that is a guaranteed good time!
September 20, 2016
Marie's Tempting Reads ARC Review:
FINALLY! A story of Ethan and Astrid getting hitched..and it was SPECTACULARLY fun! I fell out of my chair laughing so hard at times. There was some seriously outrageous things that will make you cringe (and ok, giggle) and have you shaking your head and definitely some things that will leave you needing a fan to cool down. Ethan and Astrid are just a fantastic couple. I love their sizzling chemistry and their many HOT sexcapades. But in Fashionably Dead and Wed they need to abstain and the horror of that will just make you laugh so hard, you just might pee yourself!
I loved who and where the wedding took place. So many things went wrong yet I was completely captivated by how the wedding turned out. Robyn Peterman created a unique, beautiful wedding. To finally see Ethan and Astrid getting married was just the icing on the cake..speaking of cake..no I will let you read the book to find out what I possibly could mean.
Fashionably Dead and Wed gets a WITTY AND SNARKY AND SERIOUSLY OUTRAGEOUS FIVE SHOOTING STARS! You will laugh, you might shed a few tears, but you will DEFINITELY love this story..NO doubt about it!
FINALLY! A story of Ethan and Astrid getting hitched..and it was SPECTACULARLY fun! I fell out of my chair laughing so hard at times. There was some seriously outrageous things that will make you cringe (and ok, giggle) and have you shaking your head and definitely some things that will leave you needing a fan to cool down. Ethan and Astrid are just a fantastic couple. I love their sizzling chemistry and their many HOT sexcapades. But in Fashionably Dead and Wed they need to abstain and the horror of that will just make you laugh so hard, you just might pee yourself!
I loved who and where the wedding took place. So many things went wrong yet I was completely captivated by how the wedding turned out. Robyn Peterman created a unique, beautiful wedding. To finally see Ethan and Astrid getting married was just the icing on the cake..speaking of cake..no I will let you read the book to find out what I possibly could mean.
Fashionably Dead and Wed gets a WITTY AND SNARKY AND SERIOUSLY OUTRAGEOUS FIVE SHOOTING STARS! You will laugh, you might shed a few tears, but you will DEFINITELY love this story..NO doubt about it!
October 27, 2016
It's hard to believe that Astrid and Ethan have only been together for about a year or so, for some reason it feels like they've been together for decades, probably due too all the crap they've been through since they first got together, but man what a wild fucking ride they have been through and while this isn't the last book in this fantastic series, it is the culmination of something beautiful! Their wedding! Of course it's not your traditional wedding, I mean it wouldn't be a RP classic if it was but I loved it just like I love all of the other books in this series. They just keep getting better and better, not to mention funnier!!
Samuel...so fucking cute for a ninth month old baby/toddler!
The one time during the book I actually teared up was during Mary's story, man that shit was sad. I started off disliking her tremendously and then felt horrible after hearing what she was forced to do and endure, she wasn't so bad afterall.
As usual I totally look forward to the next one and hopefully the baby demons will be involved more as their presence was sorely missed in this book. They were around for only a chapter or two and I do love me some Abe, Beyoncé, Rachael and Ross!!!
Samuel...so fucking cute for a ninth month old baby/toddler!
The one time during the book I actually teared up was during Mary's story, man that shit was sad. I started off disliking her tremendously and then felt horrible after hearing what she was forced to do and endure, she wasn't so bad afterall.
As usual I totally look forward to the next one and hopefully the baby demons will be involved more as their presence was sorely missed in this book. They were around for only a chapter or two and I do love me some Abe, Beyoncé, Rachael and Ross!!!
September 20, 2016
My tummy hurts, my eyes are red and swollen,and I believe my husband thinks I've lost my mind. Yes....all the classic signs of having just read another masterpiece from Robyn Peterman! There are no words left that could actually come close to describing the entertainment, comedy, and sheer brilliance of this book! The main characters are priceless of course, but the fact is...every character leaves an impression on you! I couldn't even fake trying to pick a favorite because I view that as an impossible task! Can we please make a movies out of this book? (Really, all of this writers books but hey...I am trying to be humble) reading this book is truly worth every second! I was given a copy of this book for an unbiased review, yet I feel reading this book was an honor!
September 20, 2016
It’s here! The most dysfunctional, amazing, long-awaited wedding ever is happening and boy was it worth the wait. Tons of our favorite characters from the series make an appearance in the book. The side stories are action packed and full of hilarity. Now, really, who really believed the wedding of Astrid and Ethan was going to go off without a hitch and as planned? This latest edition to the Hot Damned series is trademark Robyn Peterman. No author comes close to this unique style that is a mix of creative, funny, and steamy all rolled into one. I received an ARC in exchange for my honest review.
September 21, 2016
When I step into a Robyn Peterman book I know I'm going to have laugh out loud moments while reading. But her books also tear at my heart strings. In Fashionably Dead and Wed Astrid and Ethan are going to tie the knot. The only problems are her family vying to host the ceremony, and demons escaping from Hell. Minor problems, right? Except Satan doesn't know who's opening the portals, and one of Ethan's lieutenants is not what he seems.
All of their family and friends rally around Astrid and Ethan as they try to plan a wedding in the midst of all the political strife. The support and love they all share is strong enough to get them through anything.
All of their family and friends rally around Astrid and Ethan as they try to plan a wedding in the midst of all the political strife. The support and love they all share is strong enough to get them through anything.
September 22, 2016
Stupendous must read
It is rarely I find an author who mixes all of the things I love to read about. Vampires, sex, a boat load of comedy. And with Robyn Peterman she delivers. I was laughing out the gate from the first page. All my favorite characters from the entire series was in the house. If you are not laughing by every page turn something is seriously wrong with you. This book delivers. Astrid is amazing and those old lady vamps. My gosh. I won't spoil anything but damn you are going to be laughing your ass off. Enjoy.n
It is rarely I find an author who mixes all of the things I love to read about. Vampires, sex, a boat load of comedy. And with Robyn Peterman she delivers. I was laughing out the gate from the first page. All my favorite characters from the entire series was in the house. If you are not laughing by every page turn something is seriously wrong with you. This book delivers. Astrid is amazing and those old lady vamps. My gosh. I won't spoil anything but damn you are going to be laughing your ass off. Enjoy.n
September 20, 2016
I received an ARC of this book for my honest review.....and here it is: This was another AMAZING read!!!! I laughed so hard at times that my husband looked at my like I was nuts. I honestly cannot get enough of this series. It puts you in this magical world you wish you could be in as well. This book (as all of Robyn's books) was so beautifully written could picture every word in my head.
September 20, 2016
Another brilliant Fashionably Dead book!!!!
As soon as I received this pre-ordered book I couldn't put it down. I love reading more of Astrid, Ethan, Samuel and their immortal family. They seem unbelievably real,they make you laugh and you just want more of their stories . Can't believe I'm writing this but I love Satan...
As soon as I received this pre-ordered book I couldn't put it down. I love reading more of Astrid, Ethan, Samuel and their immortal family. They seem unbelievably real,they make you laugh and you just want more of their stories . Can't believe I'm writing this but I love Satan...
September 21, 2016
I'm beginning to think Robyn Peterman can't be too over the top, irreverent, or imaginative. This new installment in the HOT DAMNED series is a laugh out loud riot of outlandish proportions. Nothing is off limits or unthinkable. Perfect for the discerning reader who doesn't get offended easily.
September 20, 2016
Exceeded my expectations. This series just keeps getting better.
Robyn's world makes me laugh. Always a great read. Love this
series and author.
Robyn's world makes me laugh. Always a great read. Love this
series and author.
September 21, 2016
Truly fantastic!!
I love this book and can't wait for the next one. I have never laughed so much while reading, it just keeps getting better and better!
I love this book and can't wait for the next one. I have never laughed so much while reading, it just keeps getting better and better!
September 29, 2016
It will definitely be a wedding no one will forget. 5 GOLD UNICORNS
Just another day in my undead paradise… HOLY KNOCKERS MCCHESTICLE, BLOBBITYFLONK!!! HOW IN THE EVER LOVING HELLHOUND NAMED BAMBI DOES ROBYN DO IT!?! Honestly, every time I read her newest release I pee myself laughing at her ALWAYS new & uber creative sayings, situations and antics of The Gang! Of course I ALWAYS fall more in love with the characters, and am blown away by how IMMORTALTACULAR it is and this one is no different!! And like always, I have to say this is the BEST. BOOK. EVER!!! I ABSO-VAMPIRE-LUTELY love, Love, LOVE Astrid & Ethan!! As much as I adore all of her characters, books & series, The Hot Damned Series is my FAVAMPORITE! FANGS DOWN!! We all know that there is more humor than you can shake a stripper pole at but before I get to that I want to emphasize that there is oh so very much more than that to the story! There is also a LOT of delicious naughty stuff, super tender, touching moments, surprises, shockers, Demons, Uncle Satan, Mother Nature, the Seven Deadly Sins, and even some unholy Nuns! Trust me, you need to read it all to believe it! There are so very, VERY many, MANY parts that had me hysterical that I want to mention – without spoilers, of course! It started with chapter 2's girlish scream (Who knew Satan could scare so easily?). Then in chapter 4 - OH ASTRID'S UNCLE GOD!! I all but hyperventilated when Astrid helped Ethan out with his *ahem* monster problem!! PRICELESS! ABSO-SHRIVELING-LUTELY PRICELESS!!! And who can forget chapter 8 & an Angel named Jeff... Or when chapter 12 came along bringing Astrid's shot at a hobby... Seriously! *wipes tears form eyes, cheeks, chin and tablet* I read this in bed at night (*sad sigh* alone), like I do the bulk of my reading, and I seriously was laughing so hard at some parts I was literally hysterical crying!! Sometimes a gal needs a good cry and there a lot of books that make this romantic sap do just that, but never had I ever needed a good hysterical laugh-so-hard-I-almost-puked moment.. or at least I didn't until Astrid & Ethan and their wedding came along! Thank you from the bottom of my exceptionally sore lungs & gut and very dehydrated eyes! Robyn? Will you promise to visit me once a week in my nice new padded room my parents booked for me? Robyn was in her bestest fine form writing this one and it completely makes up for having to wait for soooo long for this book! I mean, I'm not immortal, you know! wink Once again Robyn's FANGNOMENAL talent and motherhumpin Ship aspirins gift has me laughing, crying, panting, groaning, moaning & oh so much more, while having my heart burst with pride & love as I fully experience life as a Vampire named Astrid beside our very sexy Vampire husband Ethan, our preciouslicious son Samuel and the rest of the nutty club aka The Royal Family!! Robyn is ABSO-AUTHOR-LUTELY THE BEST!! Oh Robyn I bow to you *bows* every day and 5 times on Tuesday.. *bows* because that's when I read this book... all of it... *bows* in one go... even though I was exhausted & had a migraine... *bows* both of which were quickly forgotten with all of the Sweet Jesus on a tractor with a farmer’s tan bull-honkey that was going on.. *bows* so THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY (UNFORTUNATELY) STILL (NON-VAMPIRE) BEATING HEART!! MWWUUAAHH
Just another day in my undead paradise… HOLY KNOCKERS MCCHESTICLE, BLOBBITYFLONK!!! HOW IN THE EVER LOVING HELLHOUND NAMED BAMBI DOES ROBYN DO IT!?! Honestly, every time I read her newest release I pee myself laughing at her ALWAYS new & uber creative sayings, situations and antics of The Gang! Of course I ALWAYS fall more in love with the characters, and am blown away by how IMMORTALTACULAR it is and this one is no different!! And like always, I have to say this is the BEST. BOOK. EVER!!! I ABSO-VAMPIRE-LUTELY love, Love, LOVE Astrid & Ethan!! As much as I adore all of her characters, books & series, The Hot Damned Series is my FAVAMPORITE! FANGS DOWN!! We all know that there is more humor than you can shake a stripper pole at but before I get to that I want to emphasize that there is oh so very much more than that to the story! There is also a LOT of delicious naughty stuff, super tender, touching moments, surprises, shockers, Demons, Uncle Satan, Mother Nature, the Seven Deadly Sins, and even some unholy Nuns! Trust me, you need to read it all to believe it! There are so very, VERY many, MANY parts that had me hysterical that I want to mention – without spoilers, of course! It started with chapter 2's girlish scream (Who knew Satan could scare so easily?). Then in chapter 4 - OH ASTRID'S UNCLE GOD!! I all but hyperventilated when Astrid helped Ethan out with his *ahem* monster problem!! PRICELESS! ABSO-SHRIVELING-LUTELY PRICELESS!!! And who can forget chapter 8 & an Angel named Jeff... Or when chapter 12 came along bringing Astrid's shot at a hobby... Seriously! *wipes tears form eyes, cheeks, chin and tablet* I read this in bed at night (*sad sigh* alone), like I do the bulk of my reading, and I seriously was laughing so hard at some parts I was literally hysterical crying!! Sometimes a gal needs a good cry and there a lot of books that make this romantic sap do just that, but never had I ever needed a good hysterical laugh-so-hard-I-almost-puked moment.. or at least I didn't until Astrid & Ethan and their wedding came along! Thank you from the bottom of my exceptionally sore lungs & gut and very dehydrated eyes! Robyn? Will you promise to visit me once a week in my nice new padded room my parents booked for me? Robyn was in her bestest fine form writing this one and it completely makes up for having to wait for soooo long for this book! I mean, I'm not immortal, you know! wink Once again Robyn's FANGNOMENAL talent and motherhumpin Ship aspirins gift has me laughing, crying, panting, groaning, moaning & oh so much more, while having my heart burst with pride & love as I fully experience life as a Vampire named Astrid beside our very sexy Vampire husband Ethan, our preciouslicious son Samuel and the rest of the nutty club aka The Royal Family!! Robyn is ABSO-AUTHOR-LUTELY THE BEST!! Oh Robyn I bow to you *bows* every day and 5 times on Tuesday.. *bows* because that's when I read this book... all of it... *bows* in one go... even though I was exhausted & had a migraine... *bows* both of which were quickly forgotten with all of the Sweet Jesus on a tractor with a farmer’s tan bull-honkey that was going on.. *bows* so THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY (UNFORTUNATELY) STILL (NON-VAMPIRE) BEATING HEART!! MWWUUAAHH
October 2, 2016
Fashionably Dead and Wed
5 outrageously funny wedding day stars
The long awaited day is finally approaching! Astrid and her mate Ethan are finally getting married but as with most things in Astrid undead life, this too is posing to be a problem. With demons coming to the mortal world at an alarming rate, Astrid finds herself reaching out to her Uncle Satan for help in closing the portals once and for all. He agrees but with a price and that price of course is to have her wedding in hell. Yep that’s right, I said hell. She now finds herself not only trying to save the Earth from being overrun by demons but also dealing with hostile visiting vampires, a three headed statue named Charles, a gay dancing wedding planner named Doug that knows nothing about weddings, Mother Nature who insists on cooking the food as well providing entertainment for the wedding which is her pole dancing and as if that wasn’t bad enough Uncle God sent a celibate premarital counselor named Jeff that informs them that they cannot have sex until after the wedding otherwise they fail. How in the world is she supposed to deal with all the clusterfuck that is her life if she cannot have sex? She’s already mated to the man of her dreams, maybe being married isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, maybe it’s time that she lets go of her human life once and for all.
This book, like all of Robyn’s other books, is absolutely amazing and will leave you in stitches. I have read each and every book that she has written and they honestly just keep getting better and better. I love her sense of humor and her imagination. Let’s face it, you have to have a lot of both to come up with story about a women who goes to be hypnotized in order to stop smoking only to wake up a vampire. Then discovers that she’s related to God, Jesus, Satan, Mother Nature as well as the Seven Deadly Sins just to name a few. This series is has been one of my favorites from the beginning and while this book can be read as a stand-alone, I highly recommend that you start at the beginning which is Fashionably Dead. You won’t be sorry, I promise!
5 outrageously funny wedding day stars
The long awaited day is finally approaching! Astrid and her mate Ethan are finally getting married but as with most things in Astrid undead life, this too is posing to be a problem. With demons coming to the mortal world at an alarming rate, Astrid finds herself reaching out to her Uncle Satan for help in closing the portals once and for all. He agrees but with a price and that price of course is to have her wedding in hell. Yep that’s right, I said hell. She now finds herself not only trying to save the Earth from being overrun by demons but also dealing with hostile visiting vampires, a three headed statue named Charles, a gay dancing wedding planner named Doug that knows nothing about weddings, Mother Nature who insists on cooking the food as well providing entertainment for the wedding which is her pole dancing and as if that wasn’t bad enough Uncle God sent a celibate premarital counselor named Jeff that informs them that they cannot have sex until after the wedding otherwise they fail. How in the world is she supposed to deal with all the clusterfuck that is her life if she cannot have sex? She’s already mated to the man of her dreams, maybe being married isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, maybe it’s time that she lets go of her human life once and for all.
This book, like all of Robyn’s other books, is absolutely amazing and will leave you in stitches. I have read each and every book that she has written and they honestly just keep getting better and better. I love her sense of humor and her imagination. Let’s face it, you have to have a lot of both to come up with story about a women who goes to be hypnotized in order to stop smoking only to wake up a vampire. Then discovers that she’s related to God, Jesus, Satan, Mother Nature as well as the Seven Deadly Sins just to name a few. This series is has been one of my favorites from the beginning and while this book can be read as a stand-alone, I highly recommend that you start at the beginning which is Fashionably Dead. You won’t be sorry, I promise!
April 20, 2021
This is a really fun light hearted series
September 21, 2016
I was given an ARC in return for a honest review.
I just have to say I love Astrid & Ethan. Heck I love all of Robyn's zany characters. Finally! Astrid and Ethan are getting married! The road to wedded bliss is not smooth for these two. Astrid wanted a small wedding in her home but somehow ends up being conned into the wedding of the century in........HELL. Enter vampires that are not happy with some of Ethan and Astrid's policy changes. God who is not happy that a holy event should take place in Hell. Add in an Angel that is supposed to counsel the engaged couple to make sure they are ready to marry. You get some crazy adventures on Astrid and Ethan's walk down the aisle.
This book will make you laugh, cry, and wish you were one of the characters. Don't believe me? Read this book!!!
I just have to say I love Astrid & Ethan. Heck I love all of Robyn's zany characters. Finally! Astrid and Ethan are getting married! The road to wedded bliss is not smooth for these two. Astrid wanted a small wedding in her home but somehow ends up being conned into the wedding of the century in........HELL. Enter vampires that are not happy with some of Ethan and Astrid's policy changes. God who is not happy that a holy event should take place in Hell. Add in an Angel that is supposed to counsel the engaged couple to make sure they are ready to marry. You get some crazy adventures on Astrid and Ethan's walk down the aisle.
This book will make you laugh, cry, and wish you were one of the characters. Don't believe me? Read this book!!!
September 21, 2016
Finally the wedding of the century! We have walked a lot of miles with Astrid and Ethan, and each sep has been a fun ride. In this installment they finally get married, or try to.
As always, Robyn Peterman gives us a laugh out loud, fun and sexy book. She always leaves a smile on our faces.
As always, Robyn Peterman gives us a laugh out loud, fun and sexy book. She always leaves a smile on our faces.
September 23, 2016
5 Candi Kisses with a pint of O+
Woohoo! what a ride!!!!
The whole gang is back in this hilariously funny edition to a fabulous Series. This one is chock full of twist and turns, potty mouths and baby Samuel. The Vampire Kings and his Angel mate, Mother Nature, God, The Devil, The Fairies and the Demon all play a part in this not be missed. Snarky paranormal comedy romance.
Astrid and Ethan have a long haul until they wed, between being blackmailed by Satan to having the wedding in Hell, to Jeff the Angel Pre-Marriage Councilor God requires because the wedding is being held in Hell. Hehe, to Mother Nature threatening to cater the event while Steve Perry (Who is a freakin' Unicorn) put a restraining order out on the Devil...snicker...
I so can not wait for the next book in this series. It promises more fun and antics with a dysfunctional Vampire Family with tons of issues...Best Comedy of 2016.
Woohoo! what a ride!!!!
The whole gang is back in this hilariously funny edition to a fabulous Series. This one is chock full of twist and turns, potty mouths and baby Samuel. The Vampire Kings and his Angel mate, Mother Nature, God, The Devil, The Fairies and the Demon all play a part in this not be missed. Snarky paranormal comedy romance.
Astrid and Ethan have a long haul until they wed, between being blackmailed by Satan to having the wedding in Hell, to Jeff the Angel Pre-Marriage Councilor God requires because the wedding is being held in Hell. Hehe, to Mother Nature threatening to cater the event while Steve Perry (Who is a freakin' Unicorn) put a restraining order out on the Devil...snicker...
I so can not wait for the next book in this series. It promises more fun and antics with a dysfunctional Vampire Family with tons of issues...Best Comedy of 2016.
September 20, 2016
The wedding of the century is to be held in hell and we are lucky enough to be able to be included in the fun. Fashionably Dead and Wed is a hysterically, funny book... It should have a warning that you need to read it with an empty bladder because spontaneous laughter is inevitable.
Robyn Peterman's hell is not what we were taught as kids, this one is crazy and sometimes a little scary, but Astrid and Ethan are finally having the wedding even though they have been mated already. There is no way you can't love their son Samuel, although he is still a baby to her he is supernatural so he develops way faster and his poopie words will crack you up.
I love a book that is pure fun and this series is a riot... Another amazing book with the same fun characters and a few new ones to keep it interesting.
Robyn Peterman's hell is not what we were taught as kids, this one is crazy and sometimes a little scary, but Astrid and Ethan are finally having the wedding even though they have been mated already. There is no way you can't love their son Samuel, although he is still a baby to her he is supernatural so he develops way faster and his poopie words will crack you up.
I love a book that is pure fun and this series is a riot... Another amazing book with the same fun characters and a few new ones to keep it interesting.
October 18, 2016
"Fashionably Dead and Wed: Book Seven, The Hot Damned Series" by Robyn Peterman is another hilarious addition to an already humor filled paranormal series. Astrid and Ethan are finally getting married, but everyone wants to hijack the wedding. Mother Nature wants it in in her domain, her sons each want it in theirs, but Astrid just wants it at home. Compromise is the name of the game especially since portals to Hell keep opening up in the North American Domain and the Vampyres are all blaming Astrid. Read as Astrid juggles the demands of Uncle Satan, her new three headed dog named Charles, and an Angel named Jeff's requirements of premarital dos and don'ts all while trying not to curse like a sailor for her son's sake.
Overall, I really enjoyed this story. This series just keeps getting wilder and wilder.
Overall, I really enjoyed this story. This series just keeps getting wilder and wilder.
September 23, 2016
What a stupendous addition to this series. I will never tire of Astrid and her family. The laughs are always just a page away. The love that is shown by Astrid and Ethan is awesome, the fact that he loves her enough to put up with her family says a lot. There is always so much fun to be had when they come to visit. Samuel is a doll. So smart and funny.
Finally the wedding we have all been waiting for. You know things can not go as smoothly as we would all hope, it is Astrid you know. As usual it keeps you on your toes through all the twists and turns. I could hardly put it down.
I am looking forward to many more stories about Astrid and her family. I would highly recommend all these books.
Finally the wedding we have all been waiting for. You know things can not go as smoothly as we would all hope, it is Astrid you know. As usual it keeps you on your toes through all the twists and turns. I could hardly put it down.
I am looking forward to many more stories about Astrid and her family. I would highly recommend all these books.
October 7, 2016
Finally the big day is close. Ethan and Astrid are in the final days leading up to their marriage. Astrid wants to have a human marriage even though they don't need it. Ethan is determined to give her what she wants even with all the problems still surrounding them. Throw in Mother Nature being the caterer. A child who has untold magical abilities that need to be kept under wraps, being blackmailed into having the service in Hell, and of course all the demons coming through the portals and you have another uproarious read. Everything that can go wrong does, but the wedding must continue. I can't wait to see what happens next on the honeymoon.
September 28, 2016
I really enjoyed this book. Some of the twist and turns that Robyn puts in her stories are unexpected and this story was no exception. When you think one thing will happen something else does. I have always loved Martha and Jane, the baby demons and the rest of the group and now I have added Charles to my list. I did find this story funny and I am very happy I read it, the pace did seem slower than the previous books. I love Robyn making fun of this series however the best part were the vows at the wedding.
*ARC was given in exchange for an honest review*
*ARC was given in exchange for an honest review*
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