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Obsessed: A Memoir of My Life with OCD
A brave teen recounts her debilitating struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder—and brings readers through every painful step as she finds her way to the other side—in this powerful and inspiring memoir.
Until sophomore year of high school, fifteen-year-old Allison Britz lived a comfortable life in an idyllic town. She was a dedicated student with tons of extracurricular activities, friends, and loving parents at home.
But after awakening from a vivid nightmare in which she was diagnosed with brain cancer, she was convinced the dream had been a warning. Allison believed that she must do something to stop the cancer in her dream from becoming a reality.
It started with avoiding sidewalk cracks and quickly grew to counting steps as loudly as possible. Over the following weeks, her brain listed more dangers and fixes. She had to avoid hair dryers, calculators, cell phones, computers, anything green, bananas, oatmeal, and most of her own clothing.
Unable to act “normal,” the once-popular Allison became an outcast. Her parents questioned her behavior, leading to explosive fights. When notebook paper, pencils, and most schoolbooks were declared dangerous to her health, her GPA imploded, along with her plans for the future.
Finally, she allowed herself to ask for help and was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder. This brave memoir tracks Allison’s descent and ultimately hopeful climb out of the depths.
Until sophomore year of high school, fifteen-year-old Allison Britz lived a comfortable life in an idyllic town. She was a dedicated student with tons of extracurricular activities, friends, and loving parents at home.
But after awakening from a vivid nightmare in which she was diagnosed with brain cancer, she was convinced the dream had been a warning. Allison believed that she must do something to stop the cancer in her dream from becoming a reality.
It started with avoiding sidewalk cracks and quickly grew to counting steps as loudly as possible. Over the following weeks, her brain listed more dangers and fixes. She had to avoid hair dryers, calculators, cell phones, computers, anything green, bananas, oatmeal, and most of her own clothing.
Unable to act “normal,” the once-popular Allison became an outcast. Her parents questioned her behavior, leading to explosive fights. When notebook paper, pencils, and most schoolbooks were declared dangerous to her health, her GPA imploded, along with her plans for the future.
Finally, she allowed herself to ask for help and was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder. This brave memoir tracks Allison’s descent and ultimately hopeful climb out of the depths.
368 pages, Hardcover
First published September 19, 2017
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February 2, 2023
Review 4.5. She was a preppy kind of girl. Neat clothes and hair, always wore make-up even at 15, ambitions to go to an Ivy League, crush on a suitable guy, friends to eat lunch and go shopping in the mall with. Nice normal girl from a nice normal well-off home doing all the right things. AND then She has a dream - she has a brain tumour. She hears a radio program. It confirms it. If only she doesn't do..... remember all that not stepping on the cracks?
It starts off easy, do this and you won't have cancer, don't do that and your mother won't get cancer, die in a car accident or or or, don't touch this, don't eat don't don't don't. That little voice we all have in our heads has become an external entity, a monstertelling her what she can and can't do to keep the brain cancer away and her family safe. Later it will be God telling her to read her bible until 3.45 a.m. and to stand on one foot to please Him and different do this but don't do that. It consumes every waking moment of her life.
She's anorexic, lost her friends, is sleeping on the floor, not brushing her teeth, her hair is in dreadlocks,she wears fuzzy pyjamas to school, refuses to wear socks or a jacket in the middle of winter, carries all her books everywhere instead of using a locker, and is frightened of pens and pencils, all except one little nub of a pencil, and you wonder why her teachers are no more than 'concerned' and why her mother lets her carry on.
I see that she is doing her best to appear normal, but her friends aren't fooled with her strange gait and counting steps and playing with her food but not eating it and her thinness. But her mother is put off by her 14 year old daughter's excuses and curt manner and doesn't see where she sleeps, doesn't know she hides her lunches even when they have gone mouldy (but sees how thin she is). Why she has not taken her to the doctor, forcibly if necessary is beyond me.
But then, her mother does take her to a doctor and it pours out of her, and out of her father, all the things they had noticed. Why had they waited so long - this is never answered and leaves a disturbed feeling about the book which was written as though it was happening now but actually was written many years in the future.
Then the surprising thing happens, as soon as she sees a psychologist, it all came pouring out. More than that. The doctor wants her to check off from a list all the phobias and fears and objects that frighten her, but the author continues on, writing for three pages of all her obsessions. She doesn't know it but she is desperate for a cure.
The treatment is desensitisation, just minutes at a time, feel the fear, hold it, think of it as a number, keep on with the item and after a few minutes feel the fear diminish, down from a 10 to a 7, easier to manage. One by one, slowly, the obsessions diminish like this and some disappear of their own accord or she feels strong enough to conquer them by herself.
Eventually she is fine again, shopping in Nordstrom's with her mother, having friends, getting into an Ivy League school and eventually marrying and writing this book. But the doctor had told her that OCD is for life, it is something that will always be lurking in the background, waxing and waning, always needing a watchful eye to stop symptoms from every getting out of hand.
Strange though, the onset. Normal one day, a nightmare, a radio program, and like going into the deep end of the pool from the shallow end, feeling life closing down, closing in, and no escape. Then suddenly, almost too late really, why did her parents and teachers wait, a lifeline and she's ok. A good book, a compelling read, I couldn't put it down. I hope the author is happy all her life and never descends into that misery again
__________
The book is really a 4.5 star. It misses being totally a 5 best book because two things are never questioned at all and I wanted them thoroughly explored. The first was what was there about her that predisposed her to extreme OCD from a nightmare and a radio show? Was there something in her personality or home life or what? And if nothing but it 'just happened' and could happen to anyone, then that would have been valuable information.
The second thing was, why did it take so long to get her to a doctor? She is walking around with matted hair since she won't brush it, smells, doesn't brush her teeth, wears pyjamas and shoes with no socks or a jacket despite it being mid-winter and she has become exceedingly underweight. Why did they wait?
So 4.5 star downgraded because although it was a good read, and very interesting, these questions are ones that are going to occur to everyone -except perhaps the author and her editor, and they leave me wanting to know.
It starts off easy, do this and you won't have cancer, don't do that and your mother won't get cancer, die in a car accident or or or, don't touch this, don't eat don't don't don't. That little voice we all have in our heads has become an external entity, a monstertelling her what she can and can't do to keep the brain cancer away and her family safe. Later it will be God telling her to read her bible until 3.45 a.m. and to stand on one foot to please Him and different do this but don't do that. It consumes every waking moment of her life.
She's anorexic, lost her friends, is sleeping on the floor, not brushing her teeth, her hair is in dreadlocks,she wears fuzzy pyjamas to school, refuses to wear socks or a jacket in the middle of winter, carries all her books everywhere instead of using a locker, and is frightened of pens and pencils, all except one little nub of a pencil, and you wonder why her teachers are no more than 'concerned' and why her mother lets her carry on.
I see that she is doing her best to appear normal, but her friends aren't fooled with her strange gait and counting steps and playing with her food but not eating it and her thinness. But her mother is put off by her 14 year old daughter's excuses and curt manner and doesn't see where she sleeps, doesn't know she hides her lunches even when they have gone mouldy (but sees how thin she is). Why she has not taken her to the doctor, forcibly if necessary is beyond me.
But then, her mother does take her to a doctor and it pours out of her, and out of her father, all the things they had noticed. Why had they waited so long - this is never answered and leaves a disturbed feeling about the book which was written as though it was happening now but actually was written many years in the future.
Then the surprising thing happens, as soon as she sees a psychologist, it all came pouring out. More than that. The doctor wants her to check off from a list all the phobias and fears and objects that frighten her, but the author continues on, writing for three pages of all her obsessions. She doesn't know it but she is desperate for a cure.
The treatment is desensitisation, just minutes at a time, feel the fear, hold it, think of it as a number, keep on with the item and after a few minutes feel the fear diminish, down from a 10 to a 7, easier to manage. One by one, slowly, the obsessions diminish like this and some disappear of their own accord or she feels strong enough to conquer them by herself.
Eventually she is fine again, shopping in Nordstrom's with her mother, having friends, getting into an Ivy League school and eventually marrying and writing this book. But the doctor had told her that OCD is for life, it is something that will always be lurking in the background, waxing and waning, always needing a watchful eye to stop symptoms from every getting out of hand.
Strange though, the onset. Normal one day, a nightmare, a radio program, and like going into the deep end of the pool from the shallow end, feeling life closing down, closing in, and no escape. Then suddenly, almost too late really, why did her parents and teachers wait, a lifeline and she's ok. A good book, a compelling read, I couldn't put it down. I hope the author is happy all her life and never descends into that misery again
__________
The book is really a 4.5 star. It misses being totally a 5 best book because two things are never questioned at all and I wanted them thoroughly explored. The first was what was there about her that predisposed her to extreme OCD from a nightmare and a radio show? Was there something in her personality or home life or what? And if nothing but it 'just happened' and could happen to anyone, then that would have been valuable information.
The second thing was, why did it take so long to get her to a doctor? She is walking around with matted hair since she won't brush it, smells, doesn't brush her teeth, wears pyjamas and shoes with no socks or a jacket despite it being mid-winter and she has become exceedingly underweight. Why did they wait?
So 4.5 star downgraded because although it was a good read, and very interesting, these questions are ones that are going to occur to everyone -except perhaps the author and her editor, and they leave me wanting to know.
December 13, 2018
* I am reviewing this as someone who has been professionally diagnosed with OCD *
This was a tough one to rate. I feel the author did such a good job at showing how all consuming living with OCD can be, the constant battle and knowing so many of the thoughts and actions make no sense at all but still having to go through them anyway. I especially loved the way it was so open about things like going to therapy and wasn’t all about getting the character heavily medicated and how that’ll solve everything. And the way it discussed progress and not being able to feel proud about it because there are still so many obstacles to face. This book also didn’t make everything into a cookie cutter perfect ending where everyone is cured and happy, because that’s not realistic when it comes to mental illnesses. I felt that representation was super honest and real.
But on the other hand I really really didn’t like the writing, it just wasn’t all that good. Also didn’t like anything secondary to the OCD rep, like none of the characters or other things going on outside of that. Also this is just my personal opinion, but when the whole religious aspect came into play I was so annoyed, but I understand that was a huge part of the author/main character’s experience with OCD.
Anyway I’m giving this a three stars for now.
This was a tough one to rate. I feel the author did such a good job at showing how all consuming living with OCD can be, the constant battle and knowing so many of the thoughts and actions make no sense at all but still having to go through them anyway. I especially loved the way it was so open about things like going to therapy and wasn’t all about getting the character heavily medicated and how that’ll solve everything. And the way it discussed progress and not being able to feel proud about it because there are still so many obstacles to face. This book also didn’t make everything into a cookie cutter perfect ending where everyone is cured and happy, because that’s not realistic when it comes to mental illnesses. I felt that representation was super honest and real.
But on the other hand I really really didn’t like the writing, it just wasn’t all that good. Also didn’t like anything secondary to the OCD rep, like none of the characters or other things going on outside of that. Also this is just my personal opinion, but when the whole religious aspect came into play I was so annoyed, but I understand that was a huge part of the author/main character’s experience with OCD.
Anyway I’m giving this a three stars for now.
August 6, 2020
I thought this book was well written. It is a little slow in my opinion. The majority of the book is Allison having new items that are fears and are off limits. I wanted to see more progress being made faster, but I guess thats the frustrating part about it (that you can’t fix it immediately). There are definitely points in this book that I wanted to jump into her mind and strangle her thoughts and fears she was having that were keeping her from having a normal life. I did think that it was inspirational and that I would overall recommend the book to someone who is interested in how the mind works with these disorders. This may be triggering for someone with OCD because she talks so in depth, but I couldn’t be sure on that. Give it a try if you like these sort of topics because you may find it inspirational just as I did!
June 24, 2017
As the title suggests this is the author’s memoir of her life with OCD, specifically during her sophomore year of high school. It does not, despite the title read like a typical, often dry memoir. It’s eye opening and quite the page turner. Before I dive into how much I enjoyed Obsessed: a memoir of my life with OCD by Allison Britz I should warn you that if you will be triggered in anyway by OCD, persistent, unwanted thoughts or urges, incessant or repetitive actions, or food restriction tread lightly.
As promised I was completely changed after reading about Allison’s inspiring journey in this nonfiction debut memoir. She brings us through every painful step as she finds her way to the other side of her debilitating struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Obsessed begins with a prologue that allows the readers a glimpse into what they should soon expect. Chapter 1 however thrusts the reader for a very short time into the before. Before Allison had dream of having terminal brain cancer (page 15). Allison is navigating her way through the typical teenage world of high school, boys, football games, homework, and prom. Then one night she vividly dreams that she has brain cancer. When she wakes up to her alarm playing “it’s all in your head” she is sure that the dream was a message/warning that she has brain cancer.
After the dream she starts avoiding cracks. If she steps on a crack, she can cancel that out by reaching a destination under a certain number of steps. She believes if she avoids the things that cause cancer she can cure herself. She finds new ways to barter with herself including food restrictions. She continually barters and trades one thing for another including standing on one leg for hours on end, and holding her breathe. She continues to believe there is a monster/savior sending her secrets messages to avoid objects. These objects included: clothes, furniture, pencils, notebook paper, calculators, anything the color green, her toothbrush, her hair dryer, etc. As she begins her driver’s ed class her instructor, a very religious man changes the way she sees the debilitating messages. She no longer believes they are from a monster. She begins to believe God is using her as a vessel and they are direct messages from God to her. Now, God will be mad if she doesn’t listen to these messages. Obviously, her behaviors had devastating consequences on her social, academic, and home life.
Once she had friends, had a good relationship with her parents. Now she has pushed all her friends away and is shouting at her parents to leave her alone. She continues to believe that God is telling her the secret codes to cancer so she follows these thoughts deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. Midway through Obsessed, somehow Allison is able to reach out to her mom. After a visit to her primary care physician where her mom reveals she knew something was wrong, the doctor refers Allison to a psychiatrist. After just a couple visits and secretly reading some pamphlets Allison believes she has OCD. After terrifyingly talking to the psychiatrist about it, the psychiatrist agrees. Since Allison does not want to take any medication she is again referred to another doctor who specializes in childhood and adolescent OCD and anxiety. Initially the OCD makes it difficult for her to want help, but deep down she does want it. She begins ERP (exposure response prevention) and slowly she begins making improvements.
I feel extremely sad for Allison because it seemed like the people around her knew something was wrong, but did nothing about it. I do not have OCD nor am a friend nor a parent of someone that has OCD but I would like to think it is my job to not have the answers but to realize there is a problem and to seek out someone with the answers. Allison went from 115 lbs. to 95 lbs. Everyone noticed she was skin and bones. They saw her tiptoeing, heard her counting, avoiding things. Why did no one do anything? She dropped out of her extracurricular activities, her grades started suffering and no one said anything. Even after she is in therapy and slowing regaining the ability to use things previously deemed cancerous one of her teachers nastily remarks about her weight loss. This brought me to tears. As a teacher myself I couldn’t imagine seeing Allison at such a low point and saying such a thing.
Obsessed widened the definition of OCD for me and I highly recommend it. I will be seeking #ownvoices reviews come September when this memoir releases.
I WANT TO SEND OUT A HUGE THANK YOU TO SIMON & SCHUSTER CHILDREN’S PUBLISHING DIVISION FOR SENDING ME AN EARLY COPY OF THIS BOOK. WITHOUT YOU I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS HOW AMAZING THIS #OWNVOICES DEBUT IS. ALSO TO ALLISON BRITZ, THE INCREDIBLE AUTHOR, YOU ARE BRAVE BEYOND WORDS. THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORY.
As promised I was completely changed after reading about Allison’s inspiring journey in this nonfiction debut memoir. She brings us through every painful step as she finds her way to the other side of her debilitating struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Obsessed begins with a prologue that allows the readers a glimpse into what they should soon expect. Chapter 1 however thrusts the reader for a very short time into the before. Before Allison had dream of having terminal brain cancer (page 15). Allison is navigating her way through the typical teenage world of high school, boys, football games, homework, and prom. Then one night she vividly dreams that she has brain cancer. When she wakes up to her alarm playing “it’s all in your head” she is sure that the dream was a message/warning that she has brain cancer.
After the dream she starts avoiding cracks. If she steps on a crack, she can cancel that out by reaching a destination under a certain number of steps. She believes if she avoids the things that cause cancer she can cure herself. She finds new ways to barter with herself including food restrictions. She continually barters and trades one thing for another including standing on one leg for hours on end, and holding her breathe. She continues to believe there is a monster/savior sending her secrets messages to avoid objects. These objects included: clothes, furniture, pencils, notebook paper, calculators, anything the color green, her toothbrush, her hair dryer, etc. As she begins her driver’s ed class her instructor, a very religious man changes the way she sees the debilitating messages. She no longer believes they are from a monster. She begins to believe God is using her as a vessel and they are direct messages from God to her. Now, God will be mad if she doesn’t listen to these messages. Obviously, her behaviors had devastating consequences on her social, academic, and home life.
Once she had friends, had a good relationship with her parents. Now she has pushed all her friends away and is shouting at her parents to leave her alone. She continues to believe that God is telling her the secret codes to cancer so she follows these thoughts deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. Midway through Obsessed, somehow Allison is able to reach out to her mom. After a visit to her primary care physician where her mom reveals she knew something was wrong, the doctor refers Allison to a psychiatrist. After just a couple visits and secretly reading some pamphlets Allison believes she has OCD. After terrifyingly talking to the psychiatrist about it, the psychiatrist agrees. Since Allison does not want to take any medication she is again referred to another doctor who specializes in childhood and adolescent OCD and anxiety. Initially the OCD makes it difficult for her to want help, but deep down she does want it. She begins ERP (exposure response prevention) and slowly she begins making improvements.
I feel extremely sad for Allison because it seemed like the people around her knew something was wrong, but did nothing about it. I do not have OCD nor am a friend nor a parent of someone that has OCD but I would like to think it is my job to not have the answers but to realize there is a problem and to seek out someone with the answers. Allison went from 115 lbs. to 95 lbs. Everyone noticed she was skin and bones. They saw her tiptoeing, heard her counting, avoiding things. Why did no one do anything? She dropped out of her extracurricular activities, her grades started suffering and no one said anything. Even after she is in therapy and slowing regaining the ability to use things previously deemed cancerous one of her teachers nastily remarks about her weight loss. This brought me to tears. As a teacher myself I couldn’t imagine seeing Allison at such a low point and saying such a thing.
Obsessed widened the definition of OCD for me and I highly recommend it. I will be seeking #ownvoices reviews come September when this memoir releases.
I WANT TO SEND OUT A HUGE THANK YOU TO SIMON & SCHUSTER CHILDREN’S PUBLISHING DIVISION FOR SENDING ME AN EARLY COPY OF THIS BOOK. WITHOUT YOU I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS HOW AMAZING THIS #OWNVOICES DEBUT IS. ALSO TO ALLISON BRITZ, THE INCREDIBLE AUTHOR, YOU ARE BRAVE BEYOND WORDS. THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORY.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 23, 2023
I have to say, I only really started to enjoy this book when I got to page 200. The content is great, and I learnt a lot about OCD, however the writing for the majority of the book was bland and repetitive, and I ended up starting a new book and reading a few pages (if any) of this one on the side because it couldn't hold my attention. After page 200, we learn more about her recovery and how she mentally dealt with her OCD, and this is when I learnt the most and was interested in the story.
Read
March 20, 2024Obsessed: A Memoir of My Life with OCD comes across as a traditional young adult fiction novel about a 15-year-old girl’s journey to find a mental health diagnosis and learn to live with that diagnosis, but Allison’s story is made all the more impactful because it is true. Allison, a sophomore in high school who focuses on her academic achievements and living up to her social expectations, lives what some might consider an ideal life. That all changes when a vivid nightmare where she develops and dies from brain cancer triggers the abrupt onset of her OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Allison’s obsessions and compulsions escalate quickly with devastating consequences to her academics, relationships, and well-being. Not only is Allison convinced that her delusions are true, but others make excuses for the peculiar changes in her behavior resulting in postponed diagnosis and treatment. Allison’s fascinating memoir goes a long way in educating readers about mental health, OCD, and available mental health resources. – Christina B.
March 8, 2018
a pretty interesting and insightful read.
February 2, 2021
❝Obsessive-compulsive disorder. I’ve definitely heard of this one, I think as I flip it open. Freaking out over germs, arranging things in straight lines. Everyone knows OCD.❞
Everyone knows OCD. I thought I did too, before I read this book, that is. Allison’s story completely changed my mind, and brought a whole new light to something I actually knew very little about. I wasn’t expecting to get so caught up in her story, and to be so engaged and worried about what would happen to her. Something that made the story so much more intriguing was that fact that it’s true.
In her sophomore year of high school, Allison was a popular, smart student, with a seemingly perfect life. Everything changed one night when she had a terrifying nightmare, one she believed was a warning that she would soon be diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. She started to do everything she could to prevent herself from dying, believing that the dream was a message, and that she had been chosen to try to save herself. But as her life continued to crumble around her, she needed to make a choice- whether to continue on the dangerous path before her, or to ask for help, and attempt to rebuild her life.
Before I get into my thoughts on this book, I wanted to include a content warning. This book really affected and consumed my thoughts, and it actually made me think as I went about my day- What if stepping on sidewalk cracks really does cause cancer? Oh no, I’m not allowed to eat dinner tonight... I don’t have OCD, so I thought I would be fine, but it turned out it affect me a lot more than I thought it would. So if you’re someone who could be influenced by a book like this, just be careful going into it and keep the above in mind.
Now to get into why exactly I loved this book so much, and why I gave it 5 stars.
I think the top reason why I loved this so much was because of how much I learned from it. Before reading this book, I had my own opinions and thoughts about what having OCD was like, and I never expected it to be what it actually was. Of course, each person’s mental illness is unique, and Allison’s story isn’t necessarily going to be the same as someone else who has OCD. Even though I had read Obsessed before, I still found the story just as intriguing as the first time I read it. It was so interesting to see Allison’s life change so quickly, and in an almost disturbing way, it was really hard to put down as I couldn’t wait to see what would happen next.
Another part of this story that I really loved was the light in the darkness near the end of it, the hope that I felt for Allison as she finally asked for help and began to piece her life back together. This part of the book also gave me some insight into what therapy is like- something I’ve never really known anything about before. Allison was incredibly lucky to have so many people supporting her- her parents, her therapist, and a few friends who really tried to help her through what she was going though.
Overall, this was such an intriguing, interesting book, that I learned so much from, I really cannot stress that enough. I highly recommend this one if you’re looking for an educational memoir that you can speed through!
➥ 5 stars
Everyone knows OCD. I thought I did too, before I read this book, that is. Allison’s story completely changed my mind, and brought a whole new light to something I actually knew very little about. I wasn’t expecting to get so caught up in her story, and to be so engaged and worried about what would happen to her. Something that made the story so much more intriguing was that fact that it’s true.
In her sophomore year of high school, Allison was a popular, smart student, with a seemingly perfect life. Everything changed one night when she had a terrifying nightmare, one she believed was a warning that she would soon be diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. She started to do everything she could to prevent herself from dying, believing that the dream was a message, and that she had been chosen to try to save herself. But as her life continued to crumble around her, she needed to make a choice- whether to continue on the dangerous path before her, or to ask for help, and attempt to rebuild her life.
Before I get into my thoughts on this book, I wanted to include a content warning. This book really affected and consumed my thoughts, and it actually made me think as I went about my day- What if stepping on sidewalk cracks really does cause cancer? Oh no, I’m not allowed to eat dinner tonight... I don’t have OCD, so I thought I would be fine, but it turned out it affect me a lot more than I thought it would. So if you’re someone who could be influenced by a book like this, just be careful going into it and keep the above in mind.
Now to get into why exactly I loved this book so much, and why I gave it 5 stars.
I think the top reason why I loved this so much was because of how much I learned from it. Before reading this book, I had my own opinions and thoughts about what having OCD was like, and I never expected it to be what it actually was. Of course, each person’s mental illness is unique, and Allison’s story isn’t necessarily going to be the same as someone else who has OCD. Even though I had read Obsessed before, I still found the story just as intriguing as the first time I read it. It was so interesting to see Allison’s life change so quickly, and in an almost disturbing way, it was really hard to put down as I couldn’t wait to see what would happen next.
Another part of this story that I really loved was the light in the darkness near the end of it, the hope that I felt for Allison as she finally asked for help and began to piece her life back together. This part of the book also gave me some insight into what therapy is like- something I’ve never really known anything about before. Allison was incredibly lucky to have so many people supporting her- her parents, her therapist, and a few friends who really tried to help her through what she was going though.
Overall, this was such an intriguing, interesting book, that I learned so much from, I really cannot stress that enough. I highly recommend this one if you’re looking for an educational memoir that you can speed through!
➥ 5 stars
July 21, 2022
Okay. I loved this book sooooo much . It was soooooooooooo good. When this girl started to over come her ocd i was legit like a dad watching a football game when his team gets a touch down. I was freaking out man. Ocd is not really understood by many people. They think it’s about having to have things in perfect order and clean and washing your hands all the time. But those are only a small fraction of the ways ocd torchers people. This book give you a lot more understanding for ocd. And everyone with ocd is different.
No one has exactly the same kind as anther, but learning about Allison’s story was something I’m so glad I was able to do. Sharing your path to mental health isn’t easy. It’s not easy to let people in and know the crazy thoughts your having. Not only did Allison go to therapy and open up to get herself out of the dark place she was in, but she wrote a whole book. She shared with the word this experience. Most people suffer behind closed doors. But Allison’s book obsessed is a success story. And I’m supper happy for her
No one has exactly the same kind as anther, but learning about Allison’s story was something I’m so glad I was able to do. Sharing your path to mental health isn’t easy. It’s not easy to let people in and know the crazy thoughts your having. Not only did Allison go to therapy and open up to get herself out of the dark place she was in, but she wrote a whole book. She shared with the word this experience. Most people suffer behind closed doors. But Allison’s book obsessed is a success story. And I’m supper happy for her
April 14, 2019
I would put a warning label on this book for others who deal with OCD; I could see it triggering “incessant, unwanted thoughts”. Conversely, it may help some objectively see how illogical these thought patterns are. I checked this out from the library because it was listed in my 5th grade daughter’s Scholastic book order, but I told her not to read it (at least not yet). I think it would scare her and maybe even cause some OCD thoughts in my girl who already leans on the anxious side.
I began this book at bedtime and could not put it down... I read til 2am! The first half of the book is nightmarish. After I finished, I went to Allison’s tumblr (listed on the back cover) and I see that even married with a son, she still fights these thoughts. She never clarified in her Note to Readers, but I really hope she did begin taking meds. This is a great read for those who don’t suffer OCD and helps us catch a glimpse into the scary world of one who’s being debilitated by it.
I began this book at bedtime and could not put it down... I read til 2am! The first half of the book is nightmarish. After I finished, I went to Allison’s tumblr (listed on the back cover) and I see that even married with a son, she still fights these thoughts. She never clarified in her Note to Readers, but I really hope she did begin taking meds. This is a great read for those who don’t suffer OCD and helps us catch a glimpse into the scary world of one who’s being debilitated by it.
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December 23, 2022in her sophomore year of high school, allison had a vision that she would contract terminal brain cancer. but to her relief, her protector gave her rules to follow to avoid this. but soon, she just wishes she could have her old life back, the one where she didn’t have to avoid friends, food, clothes, and studying to avoid certain death.
this book is different from other memoirs i’ve read in that, if you didn’t know this was a memoir, it could read as a typical young adult contemporary novel. this book only takes place during allison’s sophomore year and does not have input from a “future allison,” which is what i typically see in memoirs.
additionally, though i didn’t add trigger warnings, i would advise caution to any readers who might be triggered by this material. i don’t have ocd, but the depictions of it triggered my anxiety, so please keep that in mind if you are interested in reading this book!
this book is different from other memoirs i’ve read in that, if you didn’t know this was a memoir, it could read as a typical young adult contemporary novel. this book only takes place during allison’s sophomore year and does not have input from a “future allison,” which is what i typically see in memoirs.
additionally, though i didn’t add trigger warnings, i would advise caution to any readers who might be triggered by this material. i don’t have ocd, but the depictions of it triggered my anxiety, so please keep that in mind if you are interested in reading this book!
January 2, 2018
This book definitely taught me about OCD. It was sort of a disturbing read because it emphasizes what a stronghold mental illness can have on your life and the lives of people around you. I did find it repetitive and frustrating at times. Like the author spent too much time setting the stage when I was ready to move on to the solution.
February 3, 2019
Oh my goodness!
I sat down with this book, intending to read a few chapters before bed and ended up reading the entire book in one sitting.
I found myself completely absorbed in the world of Allison Britz - after all, it is a memoir about her life with OCD.
In reading other reviews or comments, so many people were irritated by the pacing of the book, or how it wasn't 'what they thought it would be', but I found it to be a wonderful book for those exact reasons.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I do think it is worth a read for anyone who works with young adults and those with OCD or other mental health issues, as it is a unique and vivid depiction of one person's fight to learn how to do life with a new 'normal'.
I sat down with this book, intending to read a few chapters before bed and ended up reading the entire book in one sitting.
I found myself completely absorbed in the world of Allison Britz - after all, it is a memoir about her life with OCD.
In reading other reviews or comments, so many people were irritated by the pacing of the book, or how it wasn't 'what they thought it would be', but I found it to be a wonderful book for those exact reasons.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I do think it is worth a read for anyone who works with young adults and those with OCD or other mental health issues, as it is a unique and vivid depiction of one person's fight to learn how to do life with a new 'normal'.
December 2, 2019
I thought the journey of this book was absolutely AMAZING. I loved the way that the character was struggling and was upset about her OCD and was having trouble being happy. By the end, she was still trying to find a way to cope with it, but she was so much more positive. Super inspiring.
January 12, 2023
Wowwww — if you want an insight into the thoughts of someone with OCD, this does that x10! I was reading it as a teacher for school, but it was so compelling for me as a reader. I can’t imagine living this life; Allison does an excellent job putting the reader in her very stressful shoes!
April 5, 2021
Kind of annoying to read
January 13, 2021
A very insightful look at what it’s like to have OCD and how major mental health problems really do afflict teenagers and can come from seemingly nowhere. Really what I got out of this was how I need to be more aware and have greater compassion. The cruelty this girl was met with by former friends, teachers, and even her parents as she became overwhelmed by her illness truly broke me. It was unbelievable and unfair to put it kindly. I cringed as I remembered how clueless and insensitive I have been in the past to things I didn’t understand and how much better I want to do. I learned so much from the bad examples and a lot from the good examples of the therapist in how to really respect those who are struggling and let them choose help and healing on their own terms. I hope I can use this to help others be kinder as well as help me make sure I don’t act harshly or let students fall through the cracks. And as a parent I hope I can be more mindful of how I deal with issues or concerns with my child as they come along. It’s a painful read, but a great one nonetheless.
May 31, 2025
This is an excellent resource to better understand OCD —and put an end to flippantly saying “I’m so OCD” simply because we like things to be organized and in a very particular way. 🙋♀️
While the author’s experience obviously isn’t everyone’s, this memoir helped me better understand the disorder.
I. Can’t. Even. Imagine.
The 5 stars is for the importance of this subject matter and the author’s bravery for sharing it with us.
However, you will need to get past the writing style which is 100% telling (“…and then this happened and this and then this…”) rather than showing. As a writing teacher and avid reader, that 100% took me out of the storytelling in several places. However, it’s still a must-read for everyone.
While the author’s experience obviously isn’t everyone’s, this memoir helped me better understand the disorder.
I. Can’t. Even. Imagine.
The 5 stars is for the importance of this subject matter and the author’s bravery for sharing it with us.
However, you will need to get past the writing style which is 100% telling (“…and then this happened and this and then this…”) rather than showing. As a writing teacher and avid reader, that 100% took me out of the storytelling in several places. However, it’s still a must-read for everyone.
May 10, 2019
this book overall was pretty good as i got to learn more about people who have to deal with OCD and other mental illness. What I didn't like was how boring it was during the beginning. It took awhile for it to reach the climax, but other than that I think this book should be more noticed by people so they could understand people with mental illnesses felt.
February 7, 2025
No amount of articles or Google searches prepared me for what OCD could be like. It was almost difficult for me to keep reading at times, but I’m so glad I did. Britz is an incredible person for sharing her experience with the world.
April 5, 2021
So so
March 29, 2019
I am so glad I picked up this book from the Scholastic Book Fair. My limited knowledge of OCD prior to reading this novel could fit in a thimble. I was aware that people who have OCD have an aversion to germs and wash their hands a lot. Or, they worry that they have not turned off appliances. OCD manifests itself in so many ways brought on by acute anxiety. What surprised me was that she was able to hide it from her parents and teachers for so long, especially given the seriousness of the author’s symptoms. I learned that sometimes the “monster” would appear in the brain with a feeling of a lot of bees flying around inside your brain. Another symptom might be to walk on tiptoes to avoid cracks that would cause cancer. Fascinating memoir. I hope I never see these symptoms in students, but if I do I know to seek help for them.
November 28, 2017
This book was very, very good. It portrays the very real life of people who suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and how fast the symptoms can come on. It was well written and really makes the reader consider the effects that mental health issues can have on a person. At different points in the book, I would stop and think 'this is ridiculous!', not because it was poorly written, but some of the different things in the mind of the main character, Allison, were so far out there, it makes you really think about OCD and the struggles those who have it go through on a daily basis. This is the author's first book and I would recommend it to anyone who likes a good read. I hope the author decides to write a sequel, I would definitely read it!
May 11, 2018
Very moving and in depth.
October 20, 2024
Highly recommend for those who want to understand what OCD is. It's a daily struggle and she does a great job talking about it from her perspective.
August 6, 2024
4.5 stars.
This is a heavy, difficult read. It's good for a glimpse into the mind of someone with OCD. I don't know that I'd recommend this book to someone who is still learning to deal with OCD because it could be triggering, but for someone who has learned to work through their anxious thoughts, it could be a resource to help them feel less alone.
A few things that my brain kept shouting as I listened: Ask for help! Tell someone what's going on inside your head! You're not alone!
This is a heavy, difficult read. It's good for a glimpse into the mind of someone with OCD. I don't know that I'd recommend this book to someone who is still learning to deal with OCD because it could be triggering, but for someone who has learned to work through their anxious thoughts, it could be a resource to help them feel less alone.
A few things that my brain kept shouting as I listened: Ask for help! Tell someone what's going on inside your head! You're not alone!
August 30, 2023
I love this book! I personally love memoirs, and this one was just amazing. I love the detail in this book and I just found it very fun and intriguing to read. However, I did find the pages toward the end sort of boring. I know it's a memoir and obviously, you can't leave out the important parts for excitement, but it was just a little boring for me. I really recommend reading it!!!
February 19, 2021
This book is my story. My specific OCD themes and compulsions may be different, but in every single step of Allison's journey, I recognized myself. I relived the trauma of my senior year of high school through the trauma of her sophomore year, so much so that I actually had to stop reading it for a long time because it was triggering my OCD again. But I finally worked up the courage to come back to it, and I'm so glad I did. Going through ERP with Allison and her wonderful therapist (shoutout to my own!) eclipsed the anxiety and misery of the foregoing chapters and paid them off beautifully with hope and joy.
Allison Britz tells the true story of OCD, not the caricature society and media have made of it. This isn't the story of the detective whose OCD helps him solve cases. This isn't the person who has to arrange everything by color or fix something that's crooked because "it's my OCD." It's not a quirky comic relief thing that only comes up when it's convenient.
This book shows, in a way that is deep and honest and raw, how OCD becomes all-consuming, how it steals away the person you once were and everything you once cared about. How family and friends watch from the sidelines as you self-destruct, frantic with worry but helpless even to understand what is happening, much less to fix it. How somehow, the very thing that's destroying you also feels like the only thing keeping you safe. How frustratingly slow recovery is, and how your very successes can lead directly to setbacks. How you don't ever quite get to go back to the person you were before. How life can still be good again anyway.
In telling her own story, Allison Britz has also told mine. I am so thankful to have gone on this journey with her.
Allison Britz tells the true story of OCD, not the caricature society and media have made of it. This isn't the story of the detective whose OCD helps him solve cases. This isn't the person who has to arrange everything by color or fix something that's crooked because "it's my OCD." It's not a quirky comic relief thing that only comes up when it's convenient.
This book shows, in a way that is deep and honest and raw, how OCD becomes all-consuming, how it steals away the person you once were and everything you once cared about. How family and friends watch from the sidelines as you self-destruct, frantic with worry but helpless even to understand what is happening, much less to fix it. How somehow, the very thing that's destroying you also feels like the only thing keeping you safe. How frustratingly slow recovery is, and how your very successes can lead directly to setbacks. How you don't ever quite get to go back to the person you were before. How life can still be good again anyway.
In telling her own story, Allison Britz has also told mine. I am so thankful to have gone on this journey with her.
January 24, 2019
Read for free through Riveted
DNF @35%
because 1/ it didn't hold my interest
and 2/ IT blocked the website at work (but I wasn't motivated to finish this at home)
Don't get me wrong, I think OCD is a very serious condition and people with this disorder do have my sympathy. However, I got really annoyed with the way of thinking. If I would think that every little ache in my body is cancer, I would be in serious trouble. I know that the thought pattern of OCD is illogical, but everything (absolutely everything!) is a trigger. Like a blue pen... Euhm...
That said, I got annoyed even more that she didn't take any action. If you think you might have cancer, or in her case, you're completely convinced, seek help. Take action.
If you are in pain, go see a professional.
I don't know anybody with OCD. And yes, it's a serious condition. I do have a few tendencies myself.
The story is insightful, because we do put TOO much pressure on people, and in this book, on teens who have to perform. I blame our society.
Let people live their lives. Let them be lazy once in a while. Let them take a vacation.
Let them show their emotions and weaknesses. It's all a part of human life.
But no, we have to perform. We have to make money to fill the pockets of others who don't care about us at all!
So yeah, I did not enjoy this book that much. But it is a wake-up call to enjoy your life and pay attention to the things and people you love. Instead of wasting away in (school)work.
DNF @35%
because 1/ it didn't hold my interest
and 2/ IT blocked the website at work (but I wasn't motivated to finish this at home)
Don't get me wrong, I think OCD is a very serious condition and people with this disorder do have my sympathy. However, I got really annoyed with the way of thinking. If I would think that every little ache in my body is cancer, I would be in serious trouble. I know that the thought pattern of OCD is illogical, but everything (absolutely everything!) is a trigger. Like a blue pen... Euhm...
That said, I got annoyed even more that she didn't take any action. If you think you might have cancer, or in her case, you're completely convinced, seek help. Take action.
If you are in pain, go see a professional.
I don't know anybody with OCD. And yes, it's a serious condition. I do have a few tendencies myself.
The story is insightful, because we do put TOO much pressure on people, and in this book, on teens who have to perform. I blame our society.
Let people live their lives. Let them be lazy once in a while. Let them take a vacation.
Let them show their emotions and weaknesses. It's all a part of human life.
But no, we have to perform. We have to make money to fill the pockets of others who don't care about us at all!
So yeah, I did not enjoy this book that much. But it is a wake-up call to enjoy your life and pay attention to the things and people you love. Instead of wasting away in (school)work.
July 7, 2020
Obsessed : A Memoir of My Life With OCD Allison Britz 368 pages. Simon Pulse Simon and Schuster, 2017 $19.00
Language: PG (5 swears 0 'f'); Mature Content: G; Violence: PG.
BUYING ADVISORY: MS, HS - ADVISABLE
AUDIENCE APPEAL: AVERAGE
15yo Allison was a great student - lots of friends, on the Cross Country team, conscientious scholar with a 5 year plan in place, until one night she dreams she has brain cancer and wakes believing it is a warning and she has to do certain things to keep from contracting cancer. She hears a voice that tells her what she must and must not do, like not stepping on cracks, taking only a certain number of steps at a time, avoiding the color green, not using blue ink. This takes a toll on everything, her school work, her friendships, her hygiene, even her relationship with her parents. But will the voices let her accept help?
Allison Britz has written an engaging memoir, troubling yet hopeful. Watching her OCD develop over a couple months, listening to Allison engage with the monsters in her head while she disengages with reality was haunting and scary. I listened to the audio book provided by libro.fm and was thoroughly captivated. Although Allison is in high school, the content is appropriate for 6th grade and above.
Lisa Librarian
https://kissthebook.blogspot.com/2020...
Language: PG (5 swears 0 'f'); Mature Content: G; Violence: PG.
BUYING ADVISORY: MS, HS - ADVISABLE
AUDIENCE APPEAL: AVERAGE
15yo Allison was a great student - lots of friends, on the Cross Country team, conscientious scholar with a 5 year plan in place, until one night she dreams she has brain cancer and wakes believing it is a warning and she has to do certain things to keep from contracting cancer. She hears a voice that tells her what she must and must not do, like not stepping on cracks, taking only a certain number of steps at a time, avoiding the color green, not using blue ink. This takes a toll on everything, her school work, her friendships, her hygiene, even her relationship with her parents. But will the voices let her accept help?
Allison Britz has written an engaging memoir, troubling yet hopeful. Watching her OCD develop over a couple months, listening to Allison engage with the monsters in her head while she disengages with reality was haunting and scary. I listened to the audio book provided by libro.fm and was thoroughly captivated. Although Allison is in high school, the content is appropriate for 6th grade and above.
Lisa Librarian
https://kissthebook.blogspot.com/2020...
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