So bin ich nicht: (Gretas Storys)

by Anneliese Mackintosh, Gesine Schröder

Wie weit muss man gehen, um neu beginnen zu können? Greta will nur Liebe, Glück, Mittag essen mit Margaret Atwood und endlich einen echten Orgasmus. Aber vor allem möchte sie ihren Vater zurück, mit dem Trinken aufhören und einmal mit der gutaussehenden Frau mithalten, die immer neben ihr auf dem Laufband läuft und T-Shirts trägt mit Schriftzügen wie »Gut ist das Gegenteil von Großartig«. Sie wünscht sich ein normales Verhältnis zu ihrer Mutter und dass ihre Schwester aufhört zu versuchen, sich umzubringen. Sie würde am liebsten nie mehr Kleidung tragen, nie wieder Fleisch essen oder Milch trinken und für radikale politische Ideen kämpfen. Sie würde gern mehr sie selbst sein. Sie würde gern weniger wollen. Denn immer wenn sie etwas erreicht, wird ihr etwas anderes genommen. Eines der traurigsten und tröstlichsten Bücher, die ich seit Ewigkeiten gelesen habe. Ich musste weinen. Mackintosh ist ein unglaubliches Talent, und So bin ich nicht ist ein großartiges Debüt. Doug Johnstone, The Independent

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction, Contemporary, LGBT, Mental Health

249 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 9, 2014

About the author

Anneliese Mackintosh’s debut novel, So Happy It Hurts, was published by Jonathan Cape in July 2017. Her first short story collection, Any Other Mouth, was published by Freight Books in 2014, and it won the Green Carnation Prize. It was also shortlisted for the Edge Hill Prize, Saltire Society's First Book Award, and the Saboteur Award, and longlisted for the Frank O'Connor International Short Story Award. Anneliese's short fiction has been broadcast on BBC Radio 4 and BBC Radio Scotland, and published in magazines and anthologies including the Scotsman, Edinburgh Review, and the Best British Short Stories 2013. Anneliese has a PhD in Creative Writing.

Reviews

[JimZ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got a copy of this book because I read a short story of the author’s in The Best British Short Stories: 2013, and figured if I loved that story I might like other stories by her. So I went into this book thinking it was a collection of short stories. And indeed the back cover of this book has this:
• Anneliese Mackintosh takes her most intense formative experiences and reimagines them in these profound, playful and poignant tales.

So I thought they were stories, all 30 of them, really short stories (5-7 pages each). Initially my ratings were mostly 2 stars and I was disappointed. Really graphic sex (not that I mind…or do I mind…why did I bring that up as a negative?...I guess I am a prude…oh dear me! 🙁 ).

Anyhoo…

Somewhere around the 7th story I noticed that the same characters were in the stories, so then this book changed for me from a collection of short stories to a memoir (or pseudo-memoir). In the preface to the book, Ms. Mackintosh writes this:
1. 68% happened.
2. 32% did not happen.
3. I will never tell.

So that’s pretty clever. The things that happened to her (as Gretchen), to her dad, to her sister (Lottie), her friends, certain illnesses, etc. – the reader is left to wonder what is real and what is not.

If the reader wants to do that. All I know is that the book changed for me from a ‘meh’ collection of stories to a fine piece of writing (memoir or pseudo-memoir). And some of the stories were really poignant…and nearly all of them held my interest after I had changed my mind-set about the book.
So I enthusiastically recommend this book. 🙂 🙃

Of the 30 chapters or tales or whatever they are called these stood out (4 stars and higher):
• One Nothing Everything (I take notes while reading and this is what I wrote: A real gut punch...riveting reading. If she makes this up, she’s an extraordinary writer. I have to believe some of this happened to her.)
• Doctors (this was in Best British Short Stories: 2013)
• For Anyone Who Wants to be Friends with Me (This was really hard to read. The stupid things people do…)
• Imagine If You Could Run as Fast as This
• Google Maps (Very poignant. She looks at her old house where she grew up using Google Maps.)
• How To Be an Alcoholic Writer (She names a number of alcoholic writers. Was she an alcoholic? Did she have Borderline Personality Disorder? A screwed-up sister?)
• Any Other Mouth (Poignant, sad, original, clever)
• Like You (If this was a stand-alone it’d be 2.5 or 3 stars. But it comes after some 26 stories or “tales” that makes it deserving of a higher rating.)
• This Could Happen to Us (woulda been 4.5 or 5 but I couldn’t figure out who was doing the talking. Her? Her mother? Somebody else?)

So that’s 8 out of 30 stories as very good to excellent/outstanding in my opinion. There were 9 other stories I rated as 3.5 stars (more than good) so hopefully it is apparent to you that I really liked this book. And a clever format for a book to boot. 😉
Reviews:
• A good review but what a weird thing to say at the end! See this review for what the reviewer wrote at the end… https://therealstory.org/2014/07/08/b...
• http://www.thebookbag.co.uk/reviews/A...
• https://readingmattersblog.com/2015/0...
• https://aah-magazine.co.uk/2015/any-o...

Note:
• It won the Green Carnation Prize, 2014 (https://greencarnationprize.wordpress... ). It was also shortlisted for the Edge Hill Prize, Saltire Society's First Book Award, and the Saboteur Awards, and longlisted for the Frank O'Connor International Short Story Award.

[Iain · Rating 5 out of 5]

With sparkling prose, a wry self-deprecating wit and startling honesty Anneliese Mackintosh shows us the many faces of grief. Told roughly chronologically through fractured memories, ironic 'self-help' advice, post-modern reflexivity and often brutal set-piece scenes, the story of Gretchen's youth and young-adulthood, her ambitions and losses, her friendships and relationships is sometimes laugh-out-loud funny but more often deeply unsettling and moving, particularly when you consider the '68% happened' claim on the first page. The comparisons I've seen in other reviews (Prozac Nation, Girl Interrupted, The Bell Jar) don't do justice to the scope of artistry and depth of awareness that must have gone into creating this non-linear roller coaster of a novel. What struck me most of all was the confidence behind the voice. Over 256 pages, at no point are we asked to pity Gretchen. At no point does she try to excuse or justify her behaviour. There's an almost Irvine Welsh-esque sardonic objectivity to Gretchen's self-analysis that both brings us along for the ride but excludes us from passing judgement on the characters or their choices. I cannot wait for Anneliese's next book.

[Vanessa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Freight Books for providing a copy of this book for review!

I'm still a bit unsure about how I feel about Any Other Mouth. I would consider it a short story collection, but at other times I am teetering on whether or not this could also be classed as non-fiction. As Anneliese Mackintosh mentions at the very beginning of the book, some of the things in this book did happen, some didn't, and she'll never tell which ones. For this reason, I feel like my impression of it was a little confused and certain things just didn't sit right for me.

Mackintosh's voice is incredibly strong and vivid, and every story (or so it seems) is told from the perspective of a woman called 'Gretchen' (who I take to be Anneliese Mackintosh herself). The stories are a real mix of 'slice-of-life' type tales, some told like self-help or fictional tales, others just recounting details. The voice is always the same though, and let me tell you this book is graphic. If you are sensitive to depictions of sex (and sexual assault), alcohol abuse, and death, then you might want to be aware that this book contains all of these subjects in abundance. I wouldn't say don't read it, but at least be prepared.

There were a lot of times where the stories just didn't particularly click with me, and sometimes I felt like the shock-factor was too brash and in-your-face. However, some stories I thoroughly enjoyed, whether it was for the tale that was told, or the way it was told. I particularly enjoyed the stories that focused on Gretchen's (or Anneliese's) dad, because you could feel the genuine love and desperation in the writing, and he seemed like a really interesting and lovable (if problematic) person. I also found Mackintosh's of failed attempts at veganism light-hearted and fun.

My personal favourites from this collection were: Crave, Your Alter Ego Does Not Exist, Sprint, Borderline, and How To Be An Alcoholic Writer.

Overall, if you think the subject matter is something you'd be interested in, I'd say go ahead and read this collection. There is probably at least something in here for everyone. However, I just found that I wasn't all that connected with a lot of the stories in here, and that level of disconnect prevented me from enjoying it as much as I would have liked. There's definitely some real gems in here though.

[Kevin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A powerful collection of linked stories. It kind of reminded me of Cookie Mueller in its unpretentious delivery and funny conversational tone. As the book goes on, the tone gets darker and sadder, and it becomes clear that the stories (possibly autobiographical) are propelled by the grief that comes from the narrator's father. There are plenty of frank descriptions of sex, anger, and infidelity. This book might be hard to find in the US (it's on a UK small press called Freight Books) but it's well-worth the search or the overseas shipping cost.

[Mila · Rating 5 out of 5]

heb em weer uit.. vierde keer denk ik nu. ik ben ZO verliefd op dit verhaal ik kan het niet beschrijven de woorden voelen zo warm en vertrouwelijk aan. het zijn allemaal verschillende shortstories (30) die echt gebeurd zijn (68% wel 32% niet en misschien ook niks) en het leven van de schrijver uitlegt vanuit verschillende perspectieven en gebeurtenissen.

het leest heel makkelijk weg en zou zo in n paar uur uit kunnen zijn, maar dat is haast zonde! je moet er echt je tijd voor nemen om de woorden in je op te nemen en begrijpen wat ze ermee bedoelt. ook om het ff te verwerken gewoon. ze schrijft zó poëtisch en niet letterlijk poëzie maar het is onbeschrijfelijk hoe goed een schrijver ze is.

aan de ene kant wil ik dat iedereen dit boek leest om de liefde te delen en te begrijpen en andere kant is dit m’n kindje en wil ik niet horen dat iemand anders het niks vindt…
ik hoor het wel van jullie als je het wilt lezen

PS. Disclaimer: het word geschreven door iemand die ietwat mentaal onstabiel is. er komt alcohol & seksueel misbruik (zij wordt misbruikt) voor, praat over de dood en zelfbeschadiging en over het algemeen grafisch en reëel. Je kan er wat overweldigd door raken. Maar ze gaat er niet tot in de details op in, meer het idee ervan.

PSS. Dit boek is een vertaling en ook in het Engels heb het engelse nooit gelezen dus weet niet hoe goed het daar is.

[Zoe · Rating 3 out of 5]

A unique and brutal collection of short stories all based on a girl called Gretchen. Some powerful emotive writing. Some beautifully poetic metaphors. Some shocking in-your-face realism. These stories touch on alcoholism, depression, bipolar, personality disorders, sexual abuse, bereavement, drug use. There is literally no stone unturned. This isn't a light read, this isn't a simple read. I was downright confused in parts - but strangely addictive..

[Nici West · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brutally honest, full of style and holds its place in the world.

[Annette Sills · Rating 4 out of 5]

Witty and brutal yet tender. The main character in the stories is shockingly behaved yet very credible. Genuinely funny. I'll be ordering her next one as soon as it's out.

[Bookmuseuk]

You’ve arrived in Manchester, it’s raining of course, so you dash into the Cornerhouse because that’s where culturally aware people like you drink their lattes and herbal tea. You take off the coat that makes you look like a writer (you hope) and drape your scarf over the back of an uncomfortable chair. As you open your copy of the latest critically acclaimed book by that great new author that you are obliged to read your eyes catch a splinter of colour from the young woman at the next table.

She too is pretending to read and doing it with such conviction that you wonder if she might be an actor. She has short hair in a bold bottled colour which you guess changes frequently. Her extravagant tattoos clash with the neatness of her teeth. You realise you have been staring when she says, “hello” in a voice that suggests expensive schools.

Moments later you have moved closer together and are engaged in conversation. You don’t know what colour to call her eyes but with the reflection of the artificial light they flicker like a pair of small screens playing art house films.

She tells you her name is Gretchen and for some reason you don’t believe it’s her real name, later she refers to herself as Greta. You tell her your full name, quickly realising that the surname is redundant and that you are slightly intimidated. Perhaps it’s the overt sex of her vermillion lips or her yellow coat, but more likely it’s that you already know this is an unusual conversation for you.

She tells you about her life so far. Her skin says 25 but her eyes and the maturity of her vocal tone seem older. She has been an actor, a poet and a burlesque dancer. You picture her dancing half-naked.

She isn’t really from anywhere, this university and that, lots of addresses; Scotland, Manchester, the South. Her father died a while ago and small details remind her. There is sadness in her eyes but she isn’t acting sad. Perhaps she cries when she’s alone. She articulates that feeling you have yourself about not-loving-your-mother-as-much-as-you-are-supposed-to and tells you of her dad’s drunken pronouncements on her mum’s infidelities. She may have a disorder she tells you. She like blueberries.

You realise that you’ve finished your coffee and a bottle of white wine has appeared on the table next to her empty teacup.

“Magic exists,” she announces. “Don’t forget where you put it.”

You listen to her memories. The time she told her flatmates she’d be naked at home from now on; the key-ring she bought; porn in Dad’s shed (she didn’t even know he smoked); the first time you have an orgasm – with someone of the same sex; being a vegan and quickly becoming bored with it; that threesome that just sort of happened; the short-term relationships and how easy it is to run two affairs concurrently; drinking till the money ran out and she had to stop altogether for a while. These are the sort of quirky tales you’ve only ever heard before from Miranda July only with more sex.

By your third glass you realise that you haven’t given a thought to your husband / wife / live-in boyfriend / short-term partner and that you won’t be able to think about anything or anyone else for a time. Her images might pop into your dreams. You know clever, creative people but none with a voice so musical. You don’t know anyone who has had such a bohemian life.

Then she leans over and beckons you with a hand gesture straight from the stage. She whispers that she has a secret to tell you, it’s something she has to reveal to Anyone Who Wants to Be Friends with Her.

You need to hear it.

She tells you her Most Personal Story. You have no idea whether any or all of her tales are fact or fiction. You believe about 68% of them will be true. This story will render you dumb. Christmas in the toilets of the pub, a sea of faces. “It’s at about this point that my memory gets very, very cloudy indeed.” She tells you the graphic details in a way that makes Ian McEwan’s early short stories sound like bedtime stories for toddlers. She recalls Noddy Holder singing all through the episode, arriving home, tights round her neck, being casual about it with her mum, being sick the next day, the irony of her old uncle’s comments.

“I thought you should know,” she says.

What the fuck could you possibly say after that?

She sips her wine and licks her lips.

You have no idea which of your conflicted emotions to feel. You resolve that when you get home you will write that truly personal story that will finally elevate you from competent prose to real writing. Writing that is vibrant and savage and funny and true, like Gretchen.

When this conversation is over and you are spat back out into the drizzle, slightly dizzy, you will be left with two thoughts. Firstly that you’ll never forget this brief interlude in your life, her dozens of piercing insights described in a way that no-one else speaks, and secondly that whatever else happens you hope that one day you will hear more of her stories.

Any Other Mouth is published by Freight Books.
http://www.anneliesemackintosh.com/

[b aaron talbot · Rating 5 out of 5]

a powerful, harrowing, entertaining, and thoughtful collection of short stories that document grief, alcoholism, sobriety, sexual (mis)adventure/abuse, teenage angst, and adulthood. i was hooked after the first five stories, got a bit bored with a few in the middle, but read the last 19 in one sitting.

my favorite stories are (in no particular order) "google maps saved my life," "butterflies," "how to be an alcoholic writer," "for anyone who wants to be friends with me," and "this could happen to us."

mackintosh's voice/narrative is not always polished, but the up and down of the narrative styles adds a comforting meta to the collection (to be a little snotty and academic about it). definitely a unique and engaging read.

[Fiona · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of linked, semi-autobiographical stories. There was some brilliant stuff in here, really raw and personal, about grief, sex, alcoholism, depression and relationships. Some of my favourites include a story exploring bereavement via Google maps - the now out-of-date online snapshot of her home is full of reminders of all she has lost. Another called "How to be an alcoholic writer" is subdivided into sections based on advice commonly given to budding writers, but fleshed out with 'advice' about being an alcoholic instead. Very fresh, moving and honest, and funny too - highly recommended.

[Marie Riedl · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of short stories that sometimes link together.

The book is funny yet also brutal and graphic (TW sexual assault, substance abuse, self harm). In the beginning Anneliese Mackintosh states that the stories are fictional with some parts of truth - but she never tells us which ones really happened.

At the beginning I wasn’t quite sure about this book since I couldn’t see the red thread but once I got closer and closer to the final pages I think I understood Gretchen and her stories. It all adds up.

To sum up: I really enjoyed reading this book. Honest, direct and beautiful. It really gives insight on different facets of grief and adulthood.

[Ali George · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great collection of stories, by turns funny, dark and really sad. In light of the fact there is so much sorrow and dysfunction I think it's brilliantly funny in places, which is no mean feat. Stand out stories for me include Messages To My Future Self, A Rough Guide to Grief, When I Die This Is How I Want It To Be, Your Alter Ego Does Not Exist, Google Maps Saved My Life, and The Snow Octopus Who Was Afraid of the Dark.. But they're all good, as you can surely tell from the titles. Read it!

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is shocking, disturbing, heart wrenching, degrading and just plain vile. It visits a multitude of human traits all through the eyes of the narrator. It scares me that this story could easily be telling a truthful tale, and i sincerely hope that it isn't but I do wonder.
I actually feel mean only giving it 3 stars because it does deserve more, the style of writing is good, pacey, punchy and except for the shock factor and the depravity I possibly would have given it an extra star.

I do not recommend the book.for the feint hearted / easily offended / easily shocked.

[D.E. Oprava · Rating 5 out of 5]

Suggested to me by a student, I picked it up and was injected with this witty, raw, smoothly cacophonous symphony. I like all the stories, though sometimes repetitive, because of the wicked honesty and curious imagination they hold. No pretense, just words that slip over you like ripped jeans and spilled drinks. Brilliant.

[Dominic Stevenson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A truly brilliant collection of short stories.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

took me a long time to warm to the narrator. the writing about grief is incredible but a lot of the stories were too white-girl-disturbia for me.

[gardienne_du_feu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Greta ist angehende Schriftstellerin, hat kein gutes Händchen für Beziehungen zu Männern und konsumiert viel zu viel Alkohol. Die Trauer um ihren nach schwerer Krankheit verstorbenen Vater wirft sie erst recht aus der Bahn und treibt ohne Halt und Ziel durchs Leben wie durch einen wilden Fluss, der sie hierhin und dorthin schleudert.

Ungefähr genauso fühlt es sich an, dieses Buch zu lesen, das wild zwischen Zeitebenen und Orten herumspringt und sich oft einer sehr rohen, vulgären und groben Sprache bedient. In Gretas Leben ist wenig bis gar nichts schön, wohltuend oder zärtlich, zumindest nicht in der Gegenwart. Es gibt ein paar angenehme Erinnerungen an die Kindheit, die jedoch von Beziehungskrisen der Eltern und dem Tod des Vaters überlagert werden. Immer, wenn es um den Verlust des Vaters oder um die Kindheit geht, bricht die harte Schale ein wenig auf und man bekommt ein Gefühl für die verletzliche, "weiche" Greta, die sich darunter versteckt, und in diesen Momenten gefiel mir das Buch richtig gut.

Leider dominiert aber insgesamt doch die grobschlächtige Ausdrucksweise, das Negative, die Männer, die sie bevormunden oder gar erniedrigen und beleidigen, was ich gerade zum Ende hin kaum noch erträglich fand. Gegen die häufigen Suizidversuche ihrer Schwester oder die psychische Labilität der Mutter scheint Greta schon abgestumpft und sie betäubt sich weiter mit (schlechtem) Sex und alkoholischen Getränken. Mir fehlte im Vergleich zu den starken Szenen in der Vergangenheit hier ein wenig die Perspektive und die persönliche Weiterentwicklung.

Zusätzlich ist die Struktur des Buches ziemlich anstrengend. Es folgt keinem linearen Aufbau und auch sonst keiner erkennbaren Logik, manchmal begreift man erst im Nachhinein, dass es sich bei einem besonders rätselhaften Kapitel gar nicht um ein Stück von Gretas echter Geschichte gehandelt hat, sondern um einen ihrer literarischen Texte. Diese haben manchmal sogar eine eigenwillige Kraft, aber sie haben mich auch oft verwirrt, weil nicht klar war, wer da nun überhaupt spricht oder ob es sich um echte Personen aus dem Roman oder um Fiktionen aus Gretas Phantasie handelt.

Interessant fand ich, dass es wohl einige Parallelen zur Autorin selbst im Buch gibt. Leider wird nicht klar, was abgesehen vom ungewöhnlichen deutschen Vornamen, den sie ihrer Geburt in Deutschland verdankt, der Realität entspricht und was sie hinzugedichtet hat - ich hoffe, dass es sich bei den ganz üblen Begegnungen um Erfindungen handelt.

Thematisch ansprechend, inhaltlich und stilistisch hat es mich nur teilweise abgeholt.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inhalt: Wie weit muss man gehen, um neu beginnen zu können? Anneliese Mackintosh erzählt direkt und offen vom Leben einer jungen Frau, deren unschlagbarer Humor nichts weniger ist als ein Überlebensmittel. Miranda July und Lena Dunham haben eine neue Gefährtin: Anneliese Mackintosh, die frischeste und vielversprechendste Stimme Großbritanniens. Greta will nur Liebe, Glück, Mittag essen mit Margaret Atwood, einen echten Orgasmus und summa cum laude für ihre Doktorarbeit, die nur aus Worten besteht, die mit 'C' anfangen. Aber vor allem möchte sie ihren Vater zurück, mit dem Trinken aufhören und einmal mit der gutaussehenden Frau mithalten, die immer neben ihr auf dem Laufband läuft und T-Shirts trägt mit Schriftzügen wie 'Good is the enemy of great'. Sie wünscht sich ein normales Verhältnis zu ihrer Mutter und dass ihre Schwester aufhört zu versuchen, sich umzubringen. Sie würde am liebsten nie mehr Kleidung tragen, nie wieder Fleisch essen oder Milch trinken und für radikale politische Ideen kämpfen. Sie würde gern mehr sie selbst sein. Sie würde gern weniger wollen. Denn immer wenn sie etwas erreicht, wird ihr etwas anderes genommen. (Quelle: Verlag)
Meine Meinung: Lange bevor ich dieses Buch in den Händen halten konnte, gab es auf lovelybooks eine Vorableserunde, an der ich zwar nicht teilgenommen habe, deren Rezensionen ich aber gespannt gelesen habe. So bin ich nicht gehörte zu den Most Wanted Neuerscheinungen aus dem Aufbau Verlag und ich musste einfach wissen, wie dieses Werk von andere begeisterten Lesern aufgenommen wird. Die Rezensionen waren bunt gemischt und reichten von hochgelobt bis abgrundtief schlecht. Als ich dann einige Zeit später das Buch selbst in den Händen hielt und begann es zu lesen, wusste ich sofort, wieso sich die Meinungen hier spalteten.
So bin ich nicht. Genau das würde ich antworten, wenn man mich fragen würde, ob ich mich in Greta erkennen würde. Eine ganz spontane Antwort und doch glaube ich nicht, dass sie dem gerecht wird. Ich glaube, in Greta steckt eine komplexe Person, in der sich jede Frau nicht komplett aber zu Teilen wiederfindet. Das war auch das interessante und faszinierende an Greta. Das, was sie mich hat mögen lassen, egal, wie anstößig sie ist. Interessant ist hier natürlich auch die Anmerkung der Autorin, dass 68% der Geschichten im Buch tatsächlich passiert wurden, sie aber nicht verrät, welche das sind. Das lässt den Leser natürlich sehr rätseln darüber, wie Anneliese Mackintosh. Außerdem hat diese mich sehr an Lena Dunham erinnert, deren Buch „Not a kind of Girl“ ich sehr geliebt habe. Ähnlich wie dieses besteht So bin ich nicht auch aus vielen einzelnen Geschichten, die anachronistisch angeordnet sind. Erst habe ich mir das sehr problematisch vorgestellt, denn die Geschichte einer fiktiven Frau, Greta, wird erzählt und ich war mir nicht sicher, ob dieser Weg funktionieren würde. Aber das hat er tatsächlich! Am Ende hatte ich ein umfassendes Bild von Gretas leben, das keiner chronologischen Handlung bedurfte und auf keinen Fall das Gefühl, etwas verpasst zu haben. Vielmehr hat man dadurch mehr auf die kleinen Feinheiten geachtet und ist bedachter ans Lesen gegangen, als es vielleicht anders passiert wäre.
Ich bin absolut überzeugt von Annelise Mackintoshs Schreibstil. Wüsste ich es nicht besser, würde ich behaupten, dass es gut war, dass sie Kreatives Schreiben studiert hat. Ich weiß es aber besser und kann sagen, dass es nicht reicht Kreatives Schreiben zu studieren, um Autorin zu werden. Genauso, wie die wenigsten Journalisten werden, die Journalismus studiert haben. Man braucht Talent und davon hat sie eine ganze Menge. Man wird ganz vbezaubert von den leichten Worten, mit denen sie tonnenschwere Themen anspricht und darüber hinaus gab es in den Texten noch mehr zu entdecken. Viele Texte sind nicht einfach nur Essays sondern haben ein „mehr“, was sie besonders macht. Kleine Einschübe, Gedichte, Dinge, die von normalen Essays weggehen und sie im Gedächtnis bleiben lassen. Jede Geschichte beinhaltet eine kleine Besonderheit und macht das Buch vielfältig und bemerkenswert.
Bewertung: Mit So bin ich nicht hat Anneliese Mackintosh einen bemerkenswerten Essayroman geschaffen, der sehr wohl anstößig ist, gleichzeitig aber auch wunderschön. Obwohl die Protagonistin Greta dem Leser sehr befremdlich erscheint, schlummert – wie ich glaube – in jedem ein bisschen Greta. Ein sehr zu empfehlendes Werk.
Vielen herzlichen Dank an den Aufbau Verlag für das schöne *Rezensionsexemplar.

[Helena · Rating 5 out of 5]

(edit: have just reread this and am so delighted that it kicked me in the heart as much as it did the first time round.)

I picked up this book, on a whim, at the Edinburgh Book Festival last August. My partner and I were having a discussion whilst browsing the bookshop about what kind of cover draws you to a book. What makes you look at a book and feel that you must pick it up, that your fingertips will wither and fall off if they do not instantly clutch that comforting material etc etc. Well: 'Any Other Mouth' was my example*.
"Look!" I said to him gleefully, "This book is instantly punchy, it's not sleepy and pastel-coloured and nondescript. It's bold and and it is LITERALLY SHOUTING AT ME!" And, I must say, the book lived up to those initial reactions and. then. some. (*I must add that the blurb also tickled my fancy. Anybody that knows me at least fairly well knows that I have a somewhat unusual taste in novels, and when the blurb casually mentioned falling in love with the protagonist's Grandmother's corpse, WELL I was sold.)
This is a semi-memoir. Anneleise Mackintosh leaves the reader a brief note at the start of this book: "Most of this is real. Some of it is not. I will never tell." Am I glad she doesn't tell? Absolutely. So much of what Mackintosh writes about is so shocking, so personal, so utterly harrowing that I absolutely adore her refusing to give herself up completely to the reader. She gives herself an agency to simultaneously bare her soul and be an 'unreliable narrator' (fret not, I too hate that term).
Mackintosh throws all sorts at you, from the get-go. Grief? Check. Schizophrenia and bipolar disorder? Check. Eating disorders? Check. Post-graduation frustrations? Check. Sexual abuse? Check. What's more, we travel through Glasgow, the Scottish Highlands, Manchester, London. We are taken on a non-stop ride through Mackintosh's psyche and through the UK as it both comforts and punches us square in the jaw.
Mackintosh does not shy away from the ugly, and I thank her for that. I found so much of this book disturbingly relatable and a little too close to home at times. She made me stare her demons (and some of my own) right in the eyes. But she also let me laugh at it. Yes: this book is brutal, but it is also funny and that is no mean feat.

I have recommended this book to several people since that day last August when I devoured it in one sitting, pausing only to catch my breath, blow my nose or stare into space in a state of near-shock. Nobody has bitten yet, so I implore anybody who reads this article to PLEASE BITE and please read this book and let it grip you. I for one can't wait to see what Mackintosh does next.

[R.M.F. Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

When asked the question: what did you do during the French Revolution? Talleyrand, Napoleon Bonaparte's chief minister, replied: I survived.

Upon reading Any Other Mouth, I was instantly reminded of Talleyrand's observation. More sex than a Saturday night in ancient Rome, more death than the Battle of Stalingrad, and more drugs than a pharmacology convention, I'm amazed that anybody came through unscathed to write about it.

And yet, hyperbole aside, Any Other Mouth, is not your usual story. There is no discernible plot, no happy ending, no conventional devices that the casual reader takes for granted when reading fiction. In short, if you're after an orthodox reading experience, then this book is not for you.

What we do get is somebody baring their soul, opening it up to the world and asking us to have a good look, and not caring whether we pass judgement or not. This is who I am, take it or leave it, says the author.

Through a series of events - some real, some fictionalised - we peer into the life of Gretchen, as though we were looking through a family album where the photos had descriptions underneath them. We follow her aspirations to write, see her suffer the loss of her father, and sympathise as her sister spirals ever further into the depths of despair, as mental illness slowly takes hold.

We share her frequent, and candid, sexual adventures as she explores her sexuality and comes to terms with love and loss. We see her hopes, her travails, her triumphs and losses. We see her obsession with getting fit and working out, her attempts to escape reality with an alter ego, and her search for meaning and purpose in her life.

Above all, we sympathise. At no point does Gretchen whine about a cruel world, or pass judgement on her circumstances. She presents the facts and allows the reader to reach their own conclusion. That the author freely admits to some of these things actually happening in her life, offers a level of truthfulness that elevates this work above its contemporaries. This level of honesty, coupled with a disarming frankness of hope and despair, raises it beyond the usual tales of angst and woe.

At times touching, at times laugh out loud, and at times, tender, it has a grittiness that other works can only aspire to. Truth, as the saying goes, is often stranger than fiction, a cliche that could have been invented with this book in mind.

Raw, edgy, unpretentious and reminiscent of Irvine Welsh at his best, Any Other Mouth is a no holds barred look into the soul of humanity. And for that, it's all the better.

[Whatthelog · Rating 4 out of 5]

‘Any Other Mouth’ is a collection of short stories that follows the various experiences of Greta as she reflects upon her father’s death, her sexual encounters, and her diagnosis of BPD (borderline personality disorder).

I really enjoyed the fact that the short stories were interconnected. Because I went straight from ‘Treats’ to ‘Any Other Mouth’, at first I assumed that they weren’t, which has left me with the strange impression that through the character of Greta, various different stories are being told, all through one life. It is a fantastic reflection upon how one’s life experiences can change (or not change) people’s perspectives, especially of themselves.

About half of the stories are told in first-person: these tend to be fairly standard accounts of important events in Greta’s life. The other half are written in second-person, and are extremely well done. I have never read second-person like this before, and I very much doubt that I will again. It is somehow talks about grief and illness and a whole manner of things in a way that is both intensely personal and characteristic of Greta, and still universal. This particular feat is absolutely breathtaking.

[Gill James · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a truly extraordinary book. The blurb suggests it is a novel. Soon into reading you’re convinced that it is a series of unrelated short stories and then about a third of the way through you realise that the stories are related. The protagonist is the common factor.
Anneliese Mackintosh keeps us engaged. Each “story” or chapter is relatively short and totally unpredictable. There is no recognisable story arc. She uses no well-worn formula. There even seems to be a different voice in each piece though we eventually recognise Greta’s voice as a unifying factor. Greta changes as she moves through her grief for her father.
The stories are not given to us in chronological order. Yet there is a logic to them: they track the changes that bring Greta to where she is today.
Frequently biographers use fictional techniques to enhance their work. Here we have a writer of fiction using the habits of memoir to keep us intrigued.
This all certainly works: I personally could hardly put this book down. Mackintosh’s prose is also of the finest.

[Gretel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not surprised at all that this debut collection of short stories has been nominated for a bunch of awards. This is a very strong set of very candid stories. Anneliese Mackintosh has a distinct voice and effortlessly writes humour and heartbreak side by side, hilarity and horror. Having closed the final page, I feel as if I know Gretchen very well indeed. I feel as if Gretchen's mental health (Borderline Personality Disorder) and the grief at her father's death were wrote very well, and are probably my favourite aspects of the book. I did hope for more about Gretchen's sister, perhaps a story of her own, because her life an struggle with her own mental health sounded really interesting.

[M.J. Mallon · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

Liked this, but it made me wince in parts! Difficult to rate, but my personal rating is 3.5 stars. There's no pretence with this novel, no soft soaping, it certainly goes for the shock factor which on the whole is a good thing as it handles some difficult topics, sexual misadventure, personality disorder, death, etc. It is an engaging read. I've rated it on the lower side because even though I thought it was cleverly done there is one particular passage in the novel which was just a little too close to the bone for my liking. Having said that I would recommend to read though, as it is most definitely different, and different is good.

[A · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is both a collection of short stories and a novel. I think of it more like a series of vignettes, which seems to call to the experience of memory in trying to piece together, understand and grow from one's life. That quality alone lent a feeling of authenticity and captured me. I gotta say, though, all of these stories, even alone, are remarkable; you're taken through a full range of emotion, not with calculation or ostentation, but with honesty—and wit. She's very clever. This was a book that had me regularly in tears, either because I was feeling devastated or because (probably in the next breath) she unleashed something completely hilarious. It was really quite a joy to read.

[Rebecca Hunter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt fairly nonchalant when I picked this book off my shelf recently. I knew I’d heard good things, but I couldn’t recall much of what had prompted me to buy the short-story collection a while ago. Well, I was in for a real treat. Mackintosh writes with sparkling beauty and a blazing brazenness. Her stories of loss, family, sex and youth are raw, touching, comforting, funny, sometimes shocking and often heart-breaking. There are dog-eared pages that I want to return to again and again. This book is intensely personal, darkly funny, poignant and thought-provoking, and I loved it.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bloody brilliant. So raw, sad, funny and brilliant all at the same time.

Annaliese writes how I want to write!

I would have given this 5 stars either way but I have to mention that I emailed her asking for a writing tip and she replied within hours with a fantastic answer. Annaliese has a new fan for life!

Also read this book, my only complaint is I finished too quickly. I'm sure I'm going to reread my favourite parts again this year anyway.

[M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a brilliant novel that has a unique magic of its own. Deeply emotional read that can make you laugh as much as it makes you want to cry. Mackintosh is an exceptional author and this book is one that I'm glad I didn't miss out on. It's polished, hilarious and wonderful just as the reviews say. It deserves as much recognition as we can give it.

[Gillian Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started this book yesterday afternoon and finished it the next morning. A compelling read, witty and sad. Written in the form of snapshots of a life, some of it is heart wrenching and will make you cry then laugh. The story of grief and how we deal with loss and how we categorise "normal".
I was immediately involved after the first line "My grief is bigger than your grief".