Jagged Heart

Broken Bottle #3

by Pamela Taeuffer

JAGGED HEART DESCRIPTION

TEEN & YOUNG ADULT/COMING OF AGE CONTEMPORARY FICTION
WOMEN'S CONTEMPORARY LITERARY FICTION SERES

Swept into a romance with professional baseball player, Ryan Tilton, we just had an evening of dreams—until I wouldn't have sex with him. I couldn't risk it. To me, sex means marriage. It means love and forever. I tried to explain. I didn't hide it. But to him, it means love, acceptance, and that he wouldn't be abandoned the same way he was when a boy of fourteen and his father was killed in the Middle East. He's pleaded with me to tell him my feelings and openly tells me he loves me. I can't repeat the words. Once I do, he'll abandon me just like my parents—discounting my feelings because they can't deal with their own. I couldn't risk it. I knew he'd leave.
Dad battles his alcoholism. Mom embraces her co-dependency. They've gambled with their daughters' mental and physical safety multiple times over the years.

I'm at a crossroads trying to understand this threshold of being an adult, yet emerging from childhood. It's as if a tornado has taken me into it's roar spun and tossed me around, breaking me away as I cling to the twisted security of my family—even the word "secure" sends a shiver through me. I've never been.

Being raised in an dysfunctional family battling alcoholism whispers, stay hidden in the shadows, be safe, don't be noticed or share too much.
I know this is it.
I need to take a risk.
I need to let go of old fears, forgive my parents, embrace intimacy and move forward. I need to trust—especially myself—so that I can transition into joy.

"I am pleased a series like Broken Bottles is being written, showing the serious, yet joyful and difficult journey toward intimacy. If often takes a lifetime for a child from family dysfunction to open their heart and embrace the rise and fall of love. The beauty and honesty of this series takes my breath away." Louise Monahan, M.S., MFT

378 pages, Paperback

Published May 19, 2016

About the author

My passion is writing books that tell tell about family sagas through a love story. They detail leaving fears behind as the characters embrace intimacy and transition to joy. Broken Bottles, my first series, details those fears of growing up in a family battling alcoholism. Along with the struggle and pain of a parent's rage, there is intelligence, strength and survival. How to love intimately in all relationships is the challenge. For children of trauma, it can take years to let another person come close. When they do? It's like rainbows cover their heart.

Slowly, you'll read how the characters become vulnerable, reach for deep, sensual intimacy, and try desperately to let go of their fears. They struggle and risk everything to trust others--and themselves. My books are about daring to take baby steps that let them really come alive and in every way, experience and give love.

The small vacation rental/property management company I run with my husband in Sonoma County, CA, allows me to have the money to engage in my creative life. I love that I was born and raised in San Francisco. My father introduced me to baseball when I was six, a backdrop in Broken Bottles. I've rung a cable car bell and went to concerts in Golden Gate Park with my sister where Jimmy Hendrix, Jefferson Airplane and Santana once played.

I've written and published Shadow Heart and Fire Heart, and books 3 and 4 of Part I of Broken Bottles - Jagged Heart and Amazing Heart - will be released shortly. I'm honored to have 3 poems in an anthology called, The Beats Go On, an a story in Sisters Born, Sisters Found. I have also written a non-fiction book called, The Introverts Guide to the Galaxy: Attending Conferences.

My dream?

1. To finish Broken Bottles, a project of four parts and 15 novels.

2. To finished my Introverts Series.

3. To finish a series about brain trauma and how it impacts family and loved ones.

4. To create beautifully decorated and custom journals with gorgeous paper that accompany each book series: The Introvert's Journal, A Family Saga Journal, My Body's Journal, and so on. Journaling was a lifesaver for me. I was in shock. You may be in shock. Don't let that keep your heart frozen.

Reviews

[Whit · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting story but took way too long to get to the point. Nicky has huge trust and abandonment issues, doesn't feel worthy of love and is a very confused and impetuous 18 year old. Why? Because her father is a confrontational, unpredictable and irresponsible alcoholic. Nicky never knows what to expect when she walks into her house so trust, happiness and hope have become her enemies. Nicky expects the men in her life to abandon her and they usually do. She should have told someone, that could help, about the "undershirt" incident. But the biggest conflict is that Nicky is an 18 year old, insecure virgin and 26 year old, professional baseball player, Ryan is....not! He's out of her league. I received this book, free, from a Goodreads First Reads Giveaway. Thank you.

[April Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jagged Heart is a new-adult sports-themed romance novel about a young woman named Nicky who (reluctantly) falls for baseball star, Ryan Tilton. This would be a great thing except Nicky’s issues with jealousy and her fear of abandonment picks away at their relationship, threatening to destroy her chance at love and happiness.

I enjoyed this heart-wrenching read. Nicky is a wonderfully flawed protagonist who struggles with believing that she is “good enough”. The uncertainty and consequential self-doubt is relatable to anyone who has ever been in a complicated relationship. Her inner dialogue broke my heart.

When I began reading this, I was under the impression that it was a young-adult read, but quickly learned it’s more of a new-adult read, because the character is college aged, and her love interest is twenty-six. Since she is on the younger side of NA (18), it could also qualify as Upper YA. The romance reads more like NA and includes graphic sexual scenes.

This story ended on an insane cliffhanger and I tossed my book on the couch out of frustration. Fortunately, all is well because I have book four and I look forward to reading the next installment of The Broken Bottles series! 5 stars.

Full Book Review on A Well Read Woman Blog: https://awellreadwomanblog.wordpress....