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The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations: Walking alongside People Who Believe Differently
Love God, love people. Could evangelism really be that simple?Often, it doesn’t seem so. It can feel scary, awkward, and uncomfortable as we try to navigate loaded questions and different perspectives. Even the most faithful of believers sometimes get stumped. But can you imagine if we, as Christians, simply spent time with people who are far from God and provided a safe place to talk about spiritual matters? If we listened to them and discovered what was really important to them? After all . . . it’s what Jesus did. And it’s what you can do too.Drawing straight from the life and ministry of Jesus, The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations offers simple practices to help you build relationships with people who believe differently. Anyone who has read and appreciated Becoming a Contagious Christian or Just Walk across the Room won’t want to miss this book on creating a safe space to have natural, loving, and spiritual conversations with others.
281 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 1, 2016
79 people are currently reading
223 people want to read
About the author
Mary Schaller
12 books10 followersaka Tori Phillips
Mary W. Schaller is a native of Washington, D.C. (and remains staunchly non-partisan for survival!), an army brat and navy wife. She graduated from the University of San Diego with a degree in Theatre Arts, and early in her career she worked in the communications department at Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios in Culver City, Calif. Nearly 30 years ago, she returned to the Washington area where she has worked at the Folger Shakespeare Library as a docent since 1979. She was a director for the Fairfax (Va.) Children's Theater and has taught drama, especially Shakespeare's plays, for the Fairfax County Department of Recreation; she directed 40 children's theater plays including 21 Shakespearean productions. Three of her plays: All the World's a Stage, The Final Trial of Richard III and Once Upon a Summertime were written and produced for her drama students. Two Horns and a Tale was written for an elementary school in Virginia Beach, Va., and was filmed by the local PBS television station there. Once Upon a Summertime has also been filmed for the Fairfax County community television station. All the World's a Stage has not only been produced in the United States and Canada but it has also been performed in London, England, and in Australia. Schaller is the author of 10 romantic historical novels published under her pen name (Tori Phillips) by Harlequin. She has published two nonfiction books as well on the American Civil War. Schaller lives in Burke, Va., with her husband, Marty, and loves to take cruises to the Caribbean, ice skate and read books—though not simultaneously!
Mary W. Schaller is a native of Washington, D.C. (and remains staunchly non-partisan for survival!), an army brat and navy wife. She graduated from the University of San Diego with a degree in Theatre Arts, and early in her career she worked in the communications department at Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios in Culver City, Calif. Nearly 30 years ago, she returned to the Washington area where she has worked at the Folger Shakespeare Library as a docent since 1979. She was a director for the Fairfax (Va.) Children's Theater and has taught drama, especially Shakespeare's plays, for the Fairfax County Department of Recreation; she directed 40 children's theater plays including 21 Shakespearean productions. Three of her plays: All the World's a Stage, The Final Trial of Richard III and Once Upon a Summertime were written and produced for her drama students. Two Horns and a Tale was written for an elementary school in Virginia Beach, Va., and was filmed by the local PBS television station there. Once Upon a Summertime has also been filmed for the Fairfax County community television station. All the World's a Stage has not only been produced in the United States and Canada but it has also been performed in London, England, and in Australia. Schaller is the author of 10 romantic historical novels published under her pen name (Tori Phillips) by Harlequin. She has published two nonfiction books as well on the American Civil War. Schaller lives in Burke, Va., with her husband, Marty, and loves to take cruises to the Caribbean, ice skate and read books—though not simultaneously!
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March 11, 2022
I read this book along with my ministry team (serving pregnant and parenting youth). We used this for training/equipping purposes (as a book club discussion) to have natural conversations about faith with young parents. The content is easily accessible and gives good, practical tools to move away from forced and awkward conversations to ones that simply flow out of your own faith experience and love for & curiosity about your conversation partner. The 9 "arts" are steps that take us through initial (risk-free) noticing and praying for others to the more blatant sharing of our stories, with love being central to anything we do and our motivation to interact with others.
Feedback is that participants in our book club came out from under fear and "pressure to witness" to joy and excitement about opportunities to have spiritual conversations with others.
I would highly recommend this book to those who are interested in developing their gifts/capacity to share their faith. Really great to do this in a small group community and learn from each other as well.
Great additional resources found at Q Place as well.
Feedback is that participants in our book club came out from under fear and "pressure to witness" to joy and excitement about opportunities to have spiritual conversations with others.
I would highly recommend this book to those who are interested in developing their gifts/capacity to share their faith. Really great to do this in a small group community and learn from each other as well.
Great additional resources found at Q Place as well.
November 20, 2023
I love, love, LOVE this book. I really think God used it to spark something in me and grow my desire to share the gospel with others. I’ve made it so complicated over the years, and I truly don’t think that was at all necessary. I almost want to write out the things in this book and paste it on my wall as a reminder. Notice : Any place I go, taking a moment to get out of my own head and look around to see those around me. Pray : Privately praying for the people I notice and watching God move. Not to inflate my ego, not to exchange the pleasantry of “I’m praying for you!” but to watch God move. Listen : Genuinely listening, with no agenda, to people as they share their story. ….etc no more spoilers. Read the book yourself 😉
August 5, 2016
Why I Choose this Book:
Conversations are interesting, and there's always the balance of carrying on a good conversation with someone who believes differently from you while remaining respectful. Plus, from reading the sub-title I actually thought it was about how to have conversations between christians with different interpretations of the Bible, but that wasn't the case.
What I Thought About this Book:
When I started the book I really wasn't sure what I thought of it. There were several things in the first few chapters that I didn't agree with fully. For example: the authors seemed to almost look down on just out right witnessing (as in, bringing up conversations about God before developing a relationship). I think there are many different ways to witness, and that different people are called to witness in different ways, and each situation is different from all other situations.
After the first couple of chapters though, I found myself agreeing more and more with the book. The overall word that kept coming to mind as I read it was practical. The book was incredibly practical and therefore easy to put into practice.
The main idea I came away with is that as christians we're called to be the salt and light and so therefore we need to fulfill that calling by actively engaging people in every-day life situations. We should be building relationships, then sharing God's truths with those people in a conversational-type setting instead of simply lecturing them.
There were many parts of the book that could have been in any self-development book, but then they related the ideas back to the Bible, pointing out how Jesus is our example. For instance, there was a chapter about asking questions and then really listening instead of asking questions and then forming your reply as they talk. They shared several examples of questions Jesus asked and the situations surrounding those instances. It was pretty cool.
Conclusion:
I read this book all in one day while getting over the flu. After the first few chapters I found it interesting, helpful, and informative. I don't recall any questionable content. The writing wasn't anything to write home about, but it was nice and easy to read.
Rating:
I'm giving The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations four stars and recommend it to ages 15+
*I received this book for free from Tyndale Publishing in exchange for an honest review*
Conversations are interesting, and there's always the balance of carrying on a good conversation with someone who believes differently from you while remaining respectful. Plus, from reading the sub-title I actually thought it was about how to have conversations between christians with different interpretations of the Bible, but that wasn't the case.
What I Thought About this Book:
When I started the book I really wasn't sure what I thought of it. There were several things in the first few chapters that I didn't agree with fully. For example: the authors seemed to almost look down on just out right witnessing (as in, bringing up conversations about God before developing a relationship). I think there are many different ways to witness, and that different people are called to witness in different ways, and each situation is different from all other situations.
After the first couple of chapters though, I found myself agreeing more and more with the book. The overall word that kept coming to mind as I read it was practical. The book was incredibly practical and therefore easy to put into practice.
The main idea I came away with is that as christians we're called to be the salt and light and so therefore we need to fulfill that calling by actively engaging people in every-day life situations. We should be building relationships, then sharing God's truths with those people in a conversational-type setting instead of simply lecturing them.
There were many parts of the book that could have been in any self-development book, but then they related the ideas back to the Bible, pointing out how Jesus is our example. For instance, there was a chapter about asking questions and then really listening instead of asking questions and then forming your reply as they talk. They shared several examples of questions Jesus asked and the situations surrounding those instances. It was pretty cool.
Conclusion:
I read this book all in one day while getting over the flu. After the first few chapters I found it interesting, helpful, and informative. I don't recall any questionable content. The writing wasn't anything to write home about, but it was nice and easy to read.
Rating:
I'm giving The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations four stars and recommend it to ages 15+
*I received this book for free from Tyndale Publishing in exchange for an honest review*
October 17, 2024
When I was homeless in England, a church decided to feed the homeless ... once a year. After the dinner, they forced Bibles in the hands of the homeless, saying, "Don't try and sell this! We have ways of finding out. If you sell this, you'll be banned from next year's dinner."
Unsurprisingly, a few people promptly stuck their fingers down their throats and vomited on their nice, clean, sacred floors. The Bibles were refused.
This is the usual way Christians try and convert the suffering. Is it any wonder that it usually doesn't work?
This book was written to make Christians feel good about themselves. It gives very, very few tips on how to talk politely with someone. Most of this is just song lyrics, poems, Bible verses, retellings of Bible stories, and mostly unproveable anecdotal stories.
It never once tackles why Christians are supposed to evangelize. Supposedly, Jesus said it, but the oldest Greek versions have been so mistranslated, Jesus may not have said this ... if Jesus existed at all, which is a HUGE fact that has never been proven.
I was raised a Born Again Christian, and sent to a strict Christian school. I had the Christian Kool-aid poured down my thought six days a week. I was told that not evangelizing showed the world that your faith was weak. I was told that my questions were sinful, and that it was God's will that children obey their elders in everything.
Christians just won't shut up about converting others to Christ because the repetition of Jesus' story brainwashes them.
Churches are tax-free businesses. They need more suckers to give them money. They are parasites on society. Money wasted on these churches could be going to helping reduce suffering like poverty, homelessness, providing healthcare, finding hiding houses for victims of domestic violence, fighting injustice.
The book claims that society is falling apart, and Christianity is the only thing that will save it. Religions, including Christianity, are a big reason why society is circling the drain. It encourages people to not question the ridiculous, not think, and accept things as they are.
There is also zero mention of helping animals in here, because that's not Christian, I guess. I mention this because I was constantly humiliated by my Christian teachers and classmates for daring to suggest that animals had rights, too. There was a family at my school that very loudly proclaimed that having pets was sinful.
The problem of suffering is only given the Book of Job treatment -- sit down and shut up, because you know nothing.
Not once is it mentioned that the entire idea of sacrifice, animal or otherwise, was abhorrent. I scared off a Jehova's Witness by saying that I never asked Jesus to die for me. I don't want anyone to suffer on my behalf.
Funny how Christians love the thought of someone else suffering for their sins.
Shut up, Christians. If you want to be noticed, pay your taxes, shut down the churches, and actually do some good to help end suffering, no strings attached. Only speak if spoken to. Try to act like Jesus, for a change.
Unsurprisingly, a few people promptly stuck their fingers down their throats and vomited on their nice, clean, sacred floors. The Bibles were refused.
This is the usual way Christians try and convert the suffering. Is it any wonder that it usually doesn't work?
This book was written to make Christians feel good about themselves. It gives very, very few tips on how to talk politely with someone. Most of this is just song lyrics, poems, Bible verses, retellings of Bible stories, and mostly unproveable anecdotal stories.
It never once tackles why Christians are supposed to evangelize. Supposedly, Jesus said it, but the oldest Greek versions have been so mistranslated, Jesus may not have said this ... if Jesus existed at all, which is a HUGE fact that has never been proven.
I was raised a Born Again Christian, and sent to a strict Christian school. I had the Christian Kool-aid poured down my thought six days a week. I was told that not evangelizing showed the world that your faith was weak. I was told that my questions were sinful, and that it was God's will that children obey their elders in everything.
Christians just won't shut up about converting others to Christ because the repetition of Jesus' story brainwashes them.
Churches are tax-free businesses. They need more suckers to give them money. They are parasites on society. Money wasted on these churches could be going to helping reduce suffering like poverty, homelessness, providing healthcare, finding hiding houses for victims of domestic violence, fighting injustice.
The book claims that society is falling apart, and Christianity is the only thing that will save it. Religions, including Christianity, are a big reason why society is circling the drain. It encourages people to not question the ridiculous, not think, and accept things as they are.
There is also zero mention of helping animals in here, because that's not Christian, I guess. I mention this because I was constantly humiliated by my Christian teachers and classmates for daring to suggest that animals had rights, too. There was a family at my school that very loudly proclaimed that having pets was sinful.
The problem of suffering is only given the Book of Job treatment -- sit down and shut up, because you know nothing.
Not once is it mentioned that the entire idea of sacrifice, animal or otherwise, was abhorrent. I scared off a Jehova's Witness by saying that I never asked Jesus to die for me. I don't want anyone to suffer on my behalf.
Funny how Christians love the thought of someone else suffering for their sins.
Shut up, Christians. If you want to be noticed, pay your taxes, shut down the churches, and actually do some good to help end suffering, no strings attached. Only speak if spoken to. Try to act like Jesus, for a change.
August 16, 2016
Mary Schaller and John Crilly, The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversation: Walking Alongside People Who Believe Differently (Carol Steam, IL: Tyndale Momentum, 2016).
Not long ago, I was standing in line behind a man at the checkout stand of a gas station. He paid his bill and handed the cashier something, which she received with a look of befuddlement on her face. Then he turned around, handed me something, and walked out the door. He never said a word the whole time.
I looked down and realized I was holding a self-printed evangelistic tract. My first thought was, His motivation is right. That guy took the Great Commission seriously, and good for him for doing so! My second thought was, His method is wrong. All wrong, in fact. Personal evangelism is supposed to be personal, after all. This guy had passed along information to the cashier and me, but personal evangelism is not about information. It’s about relationship, both with God and with others.
Unfortunately, too many Christians view personal evangelism through an informational lens. “What should I say?” they ask. “How should I respond to this or that objection to Christianity?” “How can I turn everyday conversations into eternal conversations?” These are excellent questions, by the way. Absent relationship, however, even the best answers aren’t likely to change the minds. Psychologically, we are more likely to change our minds or believe new things when we trust the person telling us about them. And trust is a relational issue.
Studies bear out the importance of relationship in evangelism. Research commissioned by well-known evangelist Luis Palau reveals that 75 percent of people who convert to Christianity do so through relationship with a Christian family member, friend, or colleague. The Institute of American Church Growth puts the number even higher, at 90 percent. If 75–90 percent of conversions happen because of personal relationship, the conclusion is inescapable: Billy Graham is not the best evangelist to reach your neighbor. You are.
In The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversation, Mary Schaller and John Crilly show readers how to walk “alongside people who believe differently,” so that evangelism, discipleship, and spiritual growth take place organically in an authentic relationship. Schaller and Crilly are the president and former national director, respectively, of Q Place, a parachurch ministry that trains people how to start and facilitate evangelistic small groups. They write about such small groups in chapter 12, “Starting a Q Place.” As a former small groups pastor, I like Q Place’s approach to things and encourage you to check out that ministry.
However, the majority of the book isn’t about Q Place’s ministry focus. It’s about the skills necessary to form authentic relationships in which evangelism can occur organically. Schaller and Crilly divide the “9 arts of spiritual conversation” into three broad categories. Let me outline their presentation for you:
Getting Ready
“Noticing those around me and paying close attention to what God might be doing in their lives.”
“Praying for those I meet in my day-to-day life and asking God to show me what he wants to do to bless them.”
“Listening with genuine care, interest, and empathy as I interact with others without editorializing or offering my own unsolicited opinions.”
Getting Started
“Asking questions that arise from genuine curiosity, drawing others out with great questions and seeking to understand more than to be understood.”
“Loving others authentically because I personally know God’s love and see them with his eyes.”
“Welcoming people by valuing their presence so they feel that they belong.”
Keeping It Going
“Facilitating good discussions in a group setting so that every person feels honored and respected, even when they believe different than I do.”
“Serving together, gathering people to serve and know God and each other better through service.”
“Sharing my own story, learning others’ stories, and expressing God’s story of forgiveness through Jesus in a way that is respectful and meaningful.”
With this outline in mind, you might think to yourself, Thanks, George! Now I don’t have to read the book. That would be a mistake, in my opinion, for each chapter goes into helpful detail.
For example, as I read chapter 3, “The Art of Noticing,” I was struck by how much and how often I don’t notice others. Schaller and Crilly identified four barriers to noticing—pace of life, self-focus, Christian bubble, and attitude—and I realized that I am on the wrong side of each of those barriers. I live too fast, focus on self too much, don’t get out of my Christian bubble often enough, and tend to be “judgmental” rather than “open.” Realizing this, I read the chapter with much more personal interest. My guess is that you too will find valuable insights in the authors’ treatment of at least one—if not more—of the “9 arts.”
So, who should read The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversation? Obviously, any Christian interested in doing personal evangelism. Small groups pastors and small group facilitators might want to use this book in for self-development and training purposes. It’s a good book, and I’m happy to recommend it.
_____
P.S. This review first appeared at InfluenceMagazine.com.
P.P.S. If you found my review helpful, please vote “Yes” on my Amazon.com review page.
Not long ago, I was standing in line behind a man at the checkout stand of a gas station. He paid his bill and handed the cashier something, which she received with a look of befuddlement on her face. Then he turned around, handed me something, and walked out the door. He never said a word the whole time.
I looked down and realized I was holding a self-printed evangelistic tract. My first thought was, His motivation is right. That guy took the Great Commission seriously, and good for him for doing so! My second thought was, His method is wrong. All wrong, in fact. Personal evangelism is supposed to be personal, after all. This guy had passed along information to the cashier and me, but personal evangelism is not about information. It’s about relationship, both with God and with others.
Unfortunately, too many Christians view personal evangelism through an informational lens. “What should I say?” they ask. “How should I respond to this or that objection to Christianity?” “How can I turn everyday conversations into eternal conversations?” These are excellent questions, by the way. Absent relationship, however, even the best answers aren’t likely to change the minds. Psychologically, we are more likely to change our minds or believe new things when we trust the person telling us about them. And trust is a relational issue.
Studies bear out the importance of relationship in evangelism. Research commissioned by well-known evangelist Luis Palau reveals that 75 percent of people who convert to Christianity do so through relationship with a Christian family member, friend, or colleague. The Institute of American Church Growth puts the number even higher, at 90 percent. If 75–90 percent of conversions happen because of personal relationship, the conclusion is inescapable: Billy Graham is not the best evangelist to reach your neighbor. You are.
In The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversation, Mary Schaller and John Crilly show readers how to walk “alongside people who believe differently,” so that evangelism, discipleship, and spiritual growth take place organically in an authentic relationship. Schaller and Crilly are the president and former national director, respectively, of Q Place, a parachurch ministry that trains people how to start and facilitate evangelistic small groups. They write about such small groups in chapter 12, “Starting a Q Place.” As a former small groups pastor, I like Q Place’s approach to things and encourage you to check out that ministry.
However, the majority of the book isn’t about Q Place’s ministry focus. It’s about the skills necessary to form authentic relationships in which evangelism can occur organically. Schaller and Crilly divide the “9 arts of spiritual conversation” into three broad categories. Let me outline their presentation for you:
Getting Ready
“Noticing those around me and paying close attention to what God might be doing in their lives.”
“Praying for those I meet in my day-to-day life and asking God to show me what he wants to do to bless them.”
“Listening with genuine care, interest, and empathy as I interact with others without editorializing or offering my own unsolicited opinions.”
Getting Started
“Asking questions that arise from genuine curiosity, drawing others out with great questions and seeking to understand more than to be understood.”
“Loving others authentically because I personally know God’s love and see them with his eyes.”
“Welcoming people by valuing their presence so they feel that they belong.”
Keeping It Going
“Facilitating good discussions in a group setting so that every person feels honored and respected, even when they believe different than I do.”
“Serving together, gathering people to serve and know God and each other better through service.”
“Sharing my own story, learning others’ stories, and expressing God’s story of forgiveness through Jesus in a way that is respectful and meaningful.”
With this outline in mind, you might think to yourself, Thanks, George! Now I don’t have to read the book. That would be a mistake, in my opinion, for each chapter goes into helpful detail.
For example, as I read chapter 3, “The Art of Noticing,” I was struck by how much and how often I don’t notice others. Schaller and Crilly identified four barriers to noticing—pace of life, self-focus, Christian bubble, and attitude—and I realized that I am on the wrong side of each of those barriers. I live too fast, focus on self too much, don’t get out of my Christian bubble often enough, and tend to be “judgmental” rather than “open.” Realizing this, I read the chapter with much more personal interest. My guess is that you too will find valuable insights in the authors’ treatment of at least one—if not more—of the “9 arts.”
So, who should read The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversation? Obviously, any Christian interested in doing personal evangelism. Small groups pastors and small group facilitators might want to use this book in for self-development and training purposes. It’s a good book, and I’m happy to recommend it.
_____
P.S. This review first appeared at InfluenceMagazine.com.
P.P.S. If you found my review helpful, please vote “Yes” on my Amazon.com review page.
April 19, 2018
The authors of this book present the problem in many of our churches clearly - we are good at giving spiritual speeches not being in spiritual conversations. With that in mind they invite us to learn the skills to engage in meaningful
Spirit lead and spiritual conversations
Spirit lead and spiritual conversations
October 29, 2019
I really enjoyed this book. If you're interested in learning about how to think about and engage your everyday life with the hope of having more conversations about Jesus/the Gospel, then this is the book for you. I think just about anyone can get something out of it.
October 20, 2022
A good read, I use this book as a preaching series. Encouraging my congregation to value our community and the people we journey with.
Lots of things we should do naturally... but often in the busyness of life we miss out on the opportunities God gives us.
Lots of things we should do naturally... but often in the busyness of life we miss out on the opportunities God gives us.
August 18, 2024
I tried really hard to like this book. It has some good advice that probably could have been delivered in an essay and not a book. Too often, it gives an off-putting vibe that conveys the idea that if a believer just follows these guidelines, then you’ll be blessed with success.
January 12, 2018
So helpful!
March 27, 2018
Great book for the faithful. Not convinced about the last 2 chapters, however.
May 23, 2018
Good summary of what has been written in many other places.
June 12, 2018
Interesting ways to initiate/hold spiritual conversations with others who do not necessarily believe as you do.
Probably a good way to initiate a small group with other believers.
Probably a good way to initiate a small group with other believers.
May 2, 2019
Good content, but not really book-length.
November 21, 2022
Noticing, praying, listening, asking questions, loving, welcoming, facilitating, serving together share
- read this with the CLC Comfort Dog Ministry team
- read this with the CLC Comfort Dog Ministry team
December 23, 2022
Great book for anyone who is a Christian
March 3, 2023
Great practical stuff here!
May 5, 2023
The chapters by John Crilly are standouts.
June 28, 2023
Very practical and non-pushy ways to engage with others around you and introduce them to Christ!
July 20, 2016
[Note: This book was provided free of charge by Tyndale Momentum in exchange for an honest review.]
Before reading this book, I had never heard of Q Place, which holds conversations where the majority of people are questioners or seekers and not believers, but which are set up in order to encourage such people to look to the Bible and take it seriously. Both of the book’s authors happen to be deeply involved in the organization, with Mary Schaller serving as president and John Crilly as a former national field director. There is an irony at the heart of this book, in that it seeks to present a model of Christianity that focuses on respectful dialogue with unbelievers, or those who believe differently, criticizing believers who adopt a model for evangelism that involves a bait and switch, only to write a book that is itself a giant bait and switch affair in that it seeks to promote itself as providing 9 lost arts of spiritual conversations only to end up promoting Q Place. One wonders if the authors were reflective on any level about the hypocrisy of criticizing others for engaging in conversations for the purpose of promoting a certain agenda only to do the same thing. Certainly the authors believe in their organization, but so too do believers believe in the agenda that they are trying to promote. Ironically, this book ends up being a classic example of that which the pages of this book frequently criticize.
Even so, the contents of this book, at least the first 220 pages of it or so, are immensely worthwhile apart from the sales pitch at the end for Q Place in the last two chapters. The authors begin in a good place, looking at the example of Jesus Christ in the way that he related to other people through his heart and habits, and introducing nine relational practices of Jesus Christ that the authors urge us to follow, even if they do not necessarily follow them themselves. The nine practices are divided into three sets of three that take up the next nine chapters of the book: three practices relating to “getting ready” to have a relationship with others by noticing others, praying for others, and listening to others. The next three practices relate to getting started in a relationship with others by asking questions, loving and welcoming others. The last three practices keep a relationship going by facilitating, serving together, and sharing. The last two chapters, which is a case of subtraction by addition given the sales pitch they contain, look at ongoing spiritual conversations believers can have if they set up a Q Place which would help, according to the authors, turn cups of cold water into rivers of living water.
As someone who reads more than my fair share of hipster denunciations of traditional Christianity or consultants seeking to profit off of the desire of churches to grow [1], this book squarely fits in a tradition of people seeking to promote their own ideas about how Christians should practice that take certain biblical principles, divorce them from biblical doctrines or high-level theological discussion or understanding, and seek to promote the growth of Christianity through a focus on orthopraxy and a criticism of orthodoxy. If the reader can overlook one pro forma reference to the Trinity, apparently done to maintain the authors’ street cred as mainstream Christians, as well as the last forty pages or so of the book, which contain its closing sales pitch to start their own Q Place discussion groups, this book has a lot to offer the reader. To be sure, the authors’ suggestions are not earth-shaking—I mean, listening to people, praying to them, being hospitable to them, asking questions, and loving them ought to be fairly standard behavior for believers with everyone that they encounter, but any reminders for people to be more welcoming and understanding and decent and friendly is welcome. We could all stand to be more loving to others and to be treated more lovingly by others, after all. And if the reader is looking for warm personal stories and an encouragement to better behavior and a focus of people as being created by God and worthy of spending time with and having relationships with, it is a very worthwhile book despite its flaws. Certainly its message is a welcome one.
[1] See, for example:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
Before reading this book, I had never heard of Q Place, which holds conversations where the majority of people are questioners or seekers and not believers, but which are set up in order to encourage such people to look to the Bible and take it seriously. Both of the book’s authors happen to be deeply involved in the organization, with Mary Schaller serving as president and John Crilly as a former national field director. There is an irony at the heart of this book, in that it seeks to present a model of Christianity that focuses on respectful dialogue with unbelievers, or those who believe differently, criticizing believers who adopt a model for evangelism that involves a bait and switch, only to write a book that is itself a giant bait and switch affair in that it seeks to promote itself as providing 9 lost arts of spiritual conversations only to end up promoting Q Place. One wonders if the authors were reflective on any level about the hypocrisy of criticizing others for engaging in conversations for the purpose of promoting a certain agenda only to do the same thing. Certainly the authors believe in their organization, but so too do believers believe in the agenda that they are trying to promote. Ironically, this book ends up being a classic example of that which the pages of this book frequently criticize.
Even so, the contents of this book, at least the first 220 pages of it or so, are immensely worthwhile apart from the sales pitch at the end for Q Place in the last two chapters. The authors begin in a good place, looking at the example of Jesus Christ in the way that he related to other people through his heart and habits, and introducing nine relational practices of Jesus Christ that the authors urge us to follow, even if they do not necessarily follow them themselves. The nine practices are divided into three sets of three that take up the next nine chapters of the book: three practices relating to “getting ready” to have a relationship with others by noticing others, praying for others, and listening to others. The next three practices relate to getting started in a relationship with others by asking questions, loving and welcoming others. The last three practices keep a relationship going by facilitating, serving together, and sharing. The last two chapters, which is a case of subtraction by addition given the sales pitch they contain, look at ongoing spiritual conversations believers can have if they set up a Q Place which would help, according to the authors, turn cups of cold water into rivers of living water.
As someone who reads more than my fair share of hipster denunciations of traditional Christianity or consultants seeking to profit off of the desire of churches to grow [1], this book squarely fits in a tradition of people seeking to promote their own ideas about how Christians should practice that take certain biblical principles, divorce them from biblical doctrines or high-level theological discussion or understanding, and seek to promote the growth of Christianity through a focus on orthopraxy and a criticism of orthodoxy. If the reader can overlook one pro forma reference to the Trinity, apparently done to maintain the authors’ street cred as mainstream Christians, as well as the last forty pages or so of the book, which contain its closing sales pitch to start their own Q Place discussion groups, this book has a lot to offer the reader. To be sure, the authors’ suggestions are not earth-shaking—I mean, listening to people, praying to them, being hospitable to them, asking questions, and loving them ought to be fairly standard behavior for believers with everyone that they encounter, but any reminders for people to be more welcoming and understanding and decent and friendly is welcome. We could all stand to be more loving to others and to be treated more lovingly by others, after all. And if the reader is looking for warm personal stories and an encouragement to better behavior and a focus of people as being created by God and worthy of spending time with and having relationships with, it is a very worthwhile book despite its flaws. Certainly its message is a welcome one.
[1] See, for example:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
May 22, 2016
Perhaps, like me, you know you ought to share your faith with others. You believe the good news and want others come to saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, but you are as turned off as anyone by that tone-deaf-evangelism. Formulaic presentations and canned sales-pitches and one-size-fits-all approaches don't ring true or require you actually listen to the story of those you are doing evangelism to. How do we share our faith in a way that is warm, inviting and honoring of the faith journeys of those we are talking too? Mary Schaller and John Crilly suggest a different approach in
The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conservation.
Schaller is the president of Q place and Crilly is its former national field director. Q place is an organization which works with churches to create environments for small group participants to explore questions of God and the Bible together. In The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations they suggest a orientation, and a set of practices which enable Christians to share their faith which honors other worldviews, and life experiences. Yes, evangelism remains important, but it doesn't explode. It happens organically in the context of relationship as we seek to love, welcome and engage unbelievers as they are. Seeing them as they are and listening well to their stories is as important as sharing our faith with them.
The "nine arts" are described under three major headings. Part I: Getting Ready gives us an orientation toward sharing our faith through noticing who are neighbors are, committing to praying for them and relationally listening to their stories (instead of transactionally listening as we wait our turn to speak). Part II: Getting Started suggests three practices which help us create welcoming, engaging and safe environments, learning to ask good questions, loving well, and hospitality. Part III: Keeping it Going, explores practices that keep faith-based discussions going: facilitating, serving together and sharing (your faith). Additionally, Part IV: Ongoing Spiritual Conversations provides practical suggestions and encouragement for making your own "Q place."
The "nine arts" are important for anyone who seeks to share their faith with others organically. It is significant that the 'evangelism' part of this book only comes into focus as the final practice. If you follow the trajectory of this book, you will not vomit your faith on others but will share your journey with Jesus in the context of real relationship. I like the approach a lot. And appreciated Crilly and Schaller's stories of friends they have shared life and their faith with. I give this four stars.
Note: I received this book from the Tyndale Blog Network in exchange for my honest review.
Schaller is the president of Q place and Crilly is its former national field director. Q place is an organization which works with churches to create environments for small group participants to explore questions of God and the Bible together. In The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations they suggest a orientation, and a set of practices which enable Christians to share their faith which honors other worldviews, and life experiences. Yes, evangelism remains important, but it doesn't explode. It happens organically in the context of relationship as we seek to love, welcome and engage unbelievers as they are. Seeing them as they are and listening well to their stories is as important as sharing our faith with them.
The "nine arts" are described under three major headings. Part I: Getting Ready gives us an orientation toward sharing our faith through noticing who are neighbors are, committing to praying for them and relationally listening to their stories (instead of transactionally listening as we wait our turn to speak). Part II: Getting Started suggests three practices which help us create welcoming, engaging and safe environments, learning to ask good questions, loving well, and hospitality. Part III: Keeping it Going, explores practices that keep faith-based discussions going: facilitating, serving together and sharing (your faith). Additionally, Part IV: Ongoing Spiritual Conversations provides practical suggestions and encouragement for making your own "Q place."
The "nine arts" are important for anyone who seeks to share their faith with others organically. It is significant that the 'evangelism' part of this book only comes into focus as the final practice. If you follow the trajectory of this book, you will not vomit your faith on others but will share your journey with Jesus in the context of real relationship. I like the approach a lot. And appreciated Crilly and Schaller's stories of friends they have shared life and their faith with. I give this four stars.
Note: I received this book from the Tyndale Blog Network in exchange for my honest review.
January 6, 2017
This book seems to have a straightforward title. Based on the ministry of Y'shua, this work seeks to identify the primary arts of spiritual conversations, which are summarized in nine points: (i) the art of noticing, (ii) the art of praying, (iii) the art of listening, (iv) the art of asking questions, (v) the art of loving, (vi) the art of welcoming, (vii) the art of facilitating, (viii) the art of serving together, and (ix) the art of sharing. From there, the book seeks to mature the ongoing spiritual conversations in one’s life within two final chapters. This book finds itself meeting the need of teaching others how to maintain spiritual conversations without condemnation or judgement, as well as how to benefit both parties instead of causing pain or problem. The purpose of this book is not a single venture into helping talk about the things of G-d without problem, but also to a larger aspect: how to make and build disciples. After all, the Great Commission is not about evangelism, but rather about discipleship. It is not how many “souls are saved,” but rather how many grow closer to HaShem, that matter. This book aims to help remedy the problem by helping make spiritual conversations casual and in-awkward, giving readers the ability to make the spiritual not only part of the spiritual realm, but here and now.
The author’s voice, specifically in this case both their voices, balance one another. While one of the authors throws facts at the reader, the other helps translate the content into digestible chunks that helps the readers understand the purpose of the information. The authors tackle the challenge of recent views that evangelism belongs only to the professionals and helps teach how spiritual conversations are still a necessity of the average believer. This is beneficial in a way that it equips the readers to engage spiritual conversations, but dangerous in that if a reader grasps the notion but doesn’t bother to actually read the material, and then progresses to do the very things that are taught not to do in the material. Such is not the fault of the others, other than the readability of the text can be a little…dreary or boring. The verbiage used is metaphor-rich and will engage many, but does not, unfortunately, engage me as well as I had hoped.
Disclosure: I have received a reviewer copy and/or payment in exchange for an honest review of the product mentioned in this post.
The author’s voice, specifically in this case both their voices, balance one another. While one of the authors throws facts at the reader, the other helps translate the content into digestible chunks that helps the readers understand the purpose of the information. The authors tackle the challenge of recent views that evangelism belongs only to the professionals and helps teach how spiritual conversations are still a necessity of the average believer. This is beneficial in a way that it equips the readers to engage spiritual conversations, but dangerous in that if a reader grasps the notion but doesn’t bother to actually read the material, and then progresses to do the very things that are taught not to do in the material. Such is not the fault of the others, other than the readability of the text can be a little…dreary or boring. The verbiage used is metaphor-rich and will engage many, but does not, unfortunately, engage me as well as I had hoped.
Disclosure: I have received a reviewer copy and/or payment in exchange for an honest review of the product mentioned in this post.
June 22, 2016
See my full review here: https://thechristianreviewer.wordpres...
How often do we feel uncomfortable when we are around other people who may not believe the same way we do. Sometimes, we either come across too harsh and turn others off to the point they tune us out. Other times, we are too shy and don't seize the opportunities that God puts directly in our paths. "The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations: walking alongside people who believe differently" by Mary Schaller and John Crilly directly addresses those very issues. This book covers how to create an environment and a relationship with others that causes them to naturally feel more comfortable and provides the opportunity to discover God through His Word together in a non-threatening environment. The nine "arts" are based on nine observed behaviors or approaches that Jesus had when interacting with people we read about in Scripture. The book is broken into four major parts each one taking you further into the process allowing you to share and discuss your faith without ending up in a heated Battle Royale. This book is written extremely well and very engaging. Each chapter ends with Discovery questions/topics to cause you to think and also Practice points that will challenge you to move forward with the process. This book is written kind of as an explanation of how "Q Place" works, which is a very unique way of seeing lives changed by discovering God's Word together in a non-threatening or intimidating environment. This is a very practical and very highly recommended book for anyone who has a heart for others or wants to reach others for Christ, but never were quite sure how to do it effectively. I received a copy of this book from Tyndale for me to do a review on it. In full disclosure, I was not required or requested by Tyndale to write a positive review.
How often do we feel uncomfortable when we are around other people who may not believe the same way we do. Sometimes, we either come across too harsh and turn others off to the point they tune us out. Other times, we are too shy and don't seize the opportunities that God puts directly in our paths. "The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations: walking alongside people who believe differently" by Mary Schaller and John Crilly directly addresses those very issues. This book covers how to create an environment and a relationship with others that causes them to naturally feel more comfortable and provides the opportunity to discover God through His Word together in a non-threatening environment. The nine "arts" are based on nine observed behaviors or approaches that Jesus had when interacting with people we read about in Scripture. The book is broken into four major parts each one taking you further into the process allowing you to share and discuss your faith without ending up in a heated Battle Royale. This book is written extremely well and very engaging. Each chapter ends with Discovery questions/topics to cause you to think and also Practice points that will challenge you to move forward with the process. This book is written kind of as an explanation of how "Q Place" works, which is a very unique way of seeing lives changed by discovering God's Word together in a non-threatening or intimidating environment. This is a very practical and very highly recommended book for anyone who has a heart for others or wants to reach others for Christ, but never were quite sure how to do it effectively. I received a copy of this book from Tyndale for me to do a review on it. In full disclosure, I was not required or requested by Tyndale to write a positive review.
August 5, 2016
First of all, if you're wondering what the deal is with the cover, buy the book. I love that the cover is explained on the first page.
Second of all, as a converted Christian whose Heard it All from anyone and everyone who found out I was looking into religion, I'm definitely team #WaitToWitness. There's a reason for this. One day I asked someone for a pad because I was out. The wonderful, awesome young lady said she didn't have any but actually ran by Walgreens and bought me a whole pack. My reaction was probably standard: "Wow, overkill, but Wow, Thank you!" She knew I was on a tight budget and helped out with a necessity. We got to talking, and she talked a lot about her faith. I don't remember the conversation, but I do remember that every time she dais 'God' she had a little inflection in her voice. Every. Single. Time. I was happy that she was so passionate about her faith and the rapid-fire rap style praying her friend gave when he caught up to us (they were young adults and probably part of a rock and roll church.) Again, great passion. I was stoked for them. But the intensity of their faith rubbed me the wrong way.
Contrast that with my husband, who helped me convert much in the same way this book outlines: Listening, conversation, relationship, discussions(and asking questions), then witnessing. It was honestly so much more effective. It meant more, and felt less forced. I felt less like a refer-a-friend candidate and more like I was heard and respected and genuinely cared for.
If you're interested in Evangelism and not getting the results you're hoping for, or haven't really started and want a place to start Evangelizing, get this book and then give it to a friend. Use the book and get copies for an Evangelism club. Spread the Word in a more effective way than ever before for a new generation.
5/5
Second of all, as a converted Christian whose Heard it All from anyone and everyone who found out I was looking into religion, I'm definitely team #WaitToWitness. There's a reason for this. One day I asked someone for a pad because I was out. The wonderful, awesome young lady said she didn't have any but actually ran by Walgreens and bought me a whole pack. My reaction was probably standard: "Wow, overkill, but Wow, Thank you!" She knew I was on a tight budget and helped out with a necessity. We got to talking, and she talked a lot about her faith. I don't remember the conversation, but I do remember that every time she dais 'God' she had a little inflection in her voice. Every. Single. Time. I was happy that she was so passionate about her faith and the rapid-fire rap style praying her friend gave when he caught up to us (they were young adults and probably part of a rock and roll church.) Again, great passion. I was stoked for them. But the intensity of their faith rubbed me the wrong way.
Contrast that with my husband, who helped me convert much in the same way this book outlines: Listening, conversation, relationship, discussions(and asking questions), then witnessing. It was honestly so much more effective. It meant more, and felt less forced. I felt less like a refer-a-friend candidate and more like I was heard and respected and genuinely cared for.
If you're interested in Evangelism and not getting the results you're hoping for, or haven't really started and want a place to start Evangelizing, get this book and then give it to a friend. Use the book and get copies for an Evangelism club. Spread the Word in a more effective way than ever before for a new generation.
5/5
July 16, 2016
This book was such an excellent tool for me, as a growing Christian woman. The four parts, Getting Ready, Getting Started, Keeping it Going, and Ongoing Spiritual Conversations were in each of their own way, strong lessons for me containing particular guidelines to follow in order to have a productive and prosperous conversation with a nonbeliever, and also a rewarding one for myself as well. I don’t believe that I will be able to say anymore, that I don’t know what I should say to someone or doubt that I have come off pushy or judgmental. I had no idea that this read would give me so much confidence!
I love that there are scriptures to support the author’s advice and guidelines to follow as well. It’s not just their guidelines, but Jesus’! I loved that a lot of emphasis was focused on listening to the other person as well. A lot of Christians I know, and I’m only 30 years old, want to lecture, preach and vent to you what they believe is true and it must be true, rather than to listen to what I think is true as a new believer and speak slowly in return and show me books in the bible that support their claims over what I’ve been taught.
This book was very thorough and encourages you to embrace your faith and confidence but to do so with grace and compassion, to listen and to pray. I enjoyed this read very much and I highly recommend to anyone who is interested in growing in their faith. It teaches us that its ok to believe something different from someone else, but more than that, it teaches us how to calmly communicate with someone who believes differently and to do so peacefully in our hearts.
I received a copy of The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations in exchange for an honest review.
I love that there are scriptures to support the author’s advice and guidelines to follow as well. It’s not just their guidelines, but Jesus’! I loved that a lot of emphasis was focused on listening to the other person as well. A lot of Christians I know, and I’m only 30 years old, want to lecture, preach and vent to you what they believe is true and it must be true, rather than to listen to what I think is true as a new believer and speak slowly in return and show me books in the bible that support their claims over what I’ve been taught.
This book was very thorough and encourages you to embrace your faith and confidence but to do so with grace and compassion, to listen and to pray. I enjoyed this read very much and I highly recommend to anyone who is interested in growing in their faith. It teaches us that its ok to believe something different from someone else, but more than that, it teaches us how to calmly communicate with someone who believes differently and to do so peacefully in our hearts.
I received a copy of The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations in exchange for an honest review.
April 21, 2016
I don't know about you, but I tend to get gun-shy about speaking in public or sharing about my faith openly with those who believe differently, especially with family members. When I saw this title, The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations by Mary Schaller and John Crilly, I thought, "OK, that seems straightforward enough. Let's give it a try." With the 9 arts being the art of noticing, praying, listening, asking questions, loving, welcoming, facilitating, serving together and sharing, the authors are able to be keep it segmented and to the point, yet still provide informative guidance.
"The first and most important reason to share your faith in Jesus should always be genuine love for the other person, not your own agenda or a sense of obligation...The second reason to share our faith in Christ is that we sincerely believe the gospel has met our deepest need and will meet others' deepest need." (198)
There's much to take in from The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations. In due time and with prayers, I hope my mind and ears be open with no hesitation to share meaningful spiritual conversation with those who believe differently, keeping in mind to listen and learn from others what is important to them. Let us share our stories and build our relationships.
This review first appeared on Just Commonly blog.
NOTE: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher, Tyndale House Publisher for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own. For my review policy, please see my Disclosure page.
"The first and most important reason to share your faith in Jesus should always be genuine love for the other person, not your own agenda or a sense of obligation...The second reason to share our faith in Christ is that we sincerely believe the gospel has met our deepest need and will meet others' deepest need." (198)
There's much to take in from The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations. In due time and with prayers, I hope my mind and ears be open with no hesitation to share meaningful spiritual conversation with those who believe differently, keeping in mind to listen and learn from others what is important to them. Let us share our stories and build our relationships.
This review first appeared on Just Commonly blog.
NOTE: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher, Tyndale House Publisher for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own. For my review policy, please see my Disclosure page.
September 6, 2016
If you struggle with knowing how to talk to others about your faith in Christ get this book. Mary Schaller and John Crilly in The 9 Arts of Spiritual Conversations address an issue that has come up in discussion with many of my fellow ministers and that is people are slow to share their faith.
We’re comfortable talking about our political views, sports, or families but never seem to get to what should be the most important part of who we are. The authors help address this issue by looking at how Jesus interacted with others. The authors address key challenges facing the church and individual believers while providing a hopeful way forward in seeking to be a winsome witness for Christ wherever God has placed us.
I have ready many books of evangelism and the run the gamut from theological and abstract to pragmatic and formulaic. This book liberates evangelism from the impersonal program that it has become for many and returns it to what it was always meant to be the biblical lifestyle of every Christian.
Disclosure: I received this book free from Tyndale House for providing this review. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/wa...
We’re comfortable talking about our political views, sports, or families but never seem to get to what should be the most important part of who we are. The authors help address this issue by looking at how Jesus interacted with others. The authors address key challenges facing the church and individual believers while providing a hopeful way forward in seeking to be a winsome witness for Christ wherever God has placed us.
I have ready many books of evangelism and the run the gamut from theological and abstract to pragmatic and formulaic. This book liberates evangelism from the impersonal program that it has become for many and returns it to what it was always meant to be the biblical lifestyle of every Christian.
Disclosure: I received this book free from Tyndale House for providing this review. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/wa...
April 6, 2016
This book is utterly unique and intriguing and it perfectly executes what it sets out to do in such a perfect and succinct manner.
This book focuses on developing relationships with those around us who think and live differently from us.This book really does a great job at addressing how to create a safe environment to nurture those relationships where one can discuss freely spiritual matters and where Christians are able to understand what is important to those who don't believe the same things.
This book really is wonderful and sparks all sorts of thoughts and discussions, such a great resource!
I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
This book focuses on developing relationships with those around us who think and live differently from us.This book really does a great job at addressing how to create a safe environment to nurture those relationships where one can discuss freely spiritual matters and where Christians are able to understand what is important to those who don't believe the same things.
This book really is wonderful and sparks all sorts of thoughts and discussions, such a great resource!
I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
January 2, 2017
This particular book focuses on building relationships. It has a different theological view than I do, but provides solid principles about listening to others with differing opinions. The author uses some quirky terminology that would actually work well in a small group environment. Each chapter ends with guiding questions that can be used in group discussion. It also presents specific “practice” assignments to help the reader put the learning into action. I received this book from Tyndale Blog Network and featured it on my blog. Opinions shared are mine.
July 5, 2018
This is a very practical book filled with useful baby steps to start spiritual conversations. Definitely a book that needs to be read a few times.
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