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My Year Zero
Lauren thinks she has a pretty good life—so why is it that she feels crazy most of the time? She figures it’s nothing she can’t fix by getting her first girlfriend and doing better at school. But how is she ever going to find a girlfriend in Duluth, Minnesota?
When she meets a group of kids who are telling a science fiction story online and gets invited down to the Twin Cities, she gets more attention than she ever expected, from two very different charming Sierra and troublesome Blake.
Blake helps Lauren understand that she’s not the crazy one in her life. But Blake's attention—and insights into life and living with bipolar disorder—threaten to destroy everything Lauren has created for herself, including her relationship with Sierra.
When she meets a group of kids who are telling a science fiction story online and gets invited down to the Twin Cities, she gets more attention than she ever expected, from two very different charming Sierra and troublesome Blake.
Blake helps Lauren understand that she’s not the crazy one in her life. But Blake's attention—and insights into life and living with bipolar disorder—threaten to destroy everything Lauren has created for herself, including her relationship with Sierra.
298 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 29, 2016
9 people are currently reading
1430 people want to read
About the author
Rachel Gold
8 books178 followersRachel Gold has spent seven years as a reporter, ten years in marketing, and holds a Master of Fine Arts in Writing degree. She worked as the senior reporter for a weekly newspaper with a readership of up to 100,000. She also served as a PR manager for an international technology company whose reach extended to Europe, Asia, and Australia. She has appeared at the Minnesota Library Association Round Table speaking on young adult literature and lives in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota.
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February 1, 2016You know when you are certain a writer has the best intentions, and you really, really just wish different people had looked at it before it went out into the world, so they could say "Stop stop stop do not do that thing or that thing or that thing?" This book is a perfect example of that. This is my second Rachel Gold book, and in both books she has done certain things so well (especially abusive queer relationships, which is a pretty rare thing to see), but there's just too much that makes me yell at the paper in my hands for me to read another at this point.
I wanna start with things I really liked:
1) The whole co-writing subplot that brings everyone together - that was probably my favorite thing about the book. I really liked the way it showed off different dynamics, and also brought different people together, and was a cute vehicle for flirting, and was a unique story device.
2) Obviously, there's a lot of queer representation, and, as I mentioned above, Gold writes different dynamics in her books that we often don't get to see, and that's something I really appreciate.
3) I'm all for more on-page f/f sex in YA, because it's so rare and I think it's important for teens to see that it's healthy and normal and also what it is, since many don't have the resources. (I also liked the nod to safe sex in the book and in the author's note.) It was a little actually more graphic than I expected, which surprised me only because the ARC came with a note that basically said it wasn't. (Like, I do not remember having seen the word in YA, ever.)
As for the other stuff, some is undoubtedly subjective. I personally bristled at the fact that every single bi (or unlabeled, but clearly into more than one gender) character in this book is presented as flighty and/or undesiring of a solid, monogamous relationship, but it's of course a legitimate way to be; it's just that that's like 99% of bisexual representation in books, and seeing three different non-monosexual characters all that way was a little disheartening. Then again, is presented that way too, so it's not just the bi characters; it's only more stereotypical for them. (This is actually a thing I've noticed with this publisher: I haven't read much by them, but all their YA I've read basically has everyone queer cheating on each other. Again, I'm not looking to illegitimize any experiences, but I find it a bizarre common thread, especially because it's pretty rare in YA.)
The Jewish representation really irked me, though. It's presented in a pretty authoritative, 101 kind of way, but...it actually suggests a bunch of factual inaccuracies. I'm sure plenty of Jewish people do celebrate Purim with a party at their Temple, but that has nothing to do with Purim services, which are just everyday services with the addition of Megillah reading. (Which wasn't mentioned, IIRC, despite being the most important part of the holiday.) Comparing the Purim services to Passover/the Hagadah was really strange to me - Passover does have its own (long) services, but the Hagadah isn't part of them, and isn't read at Temple; it's read at the Seder. My biggest problem, though, was with the character's continuous mention of not keeping kosher, which reminded me of Amy Poehler in Mean Girls, saying, "I'm not like a regular mom - I'm a cool mom!" I get it, Lauren - you blend. Props for not being like those annoying Jews who do keep kosher. Like, I dunno, me.
As for the bipolar representation, I can't speak to it - it felt like a mixed bag to me, with positives (pro-meds, obviously researched, no "this is a reason I can't be with you" kind of drama) and negatives (a lot of use of the word "crazy" by the non-bipolar character, Blake definitely had a MPDG feel to me). What I will say is that when you're writing a mental health book, it is a very big issue to mock another mental illness, even if only in a throwaway line. (I mean, it's always an issue, but particularly when those with mental illnesses are going to seek out your book, like...come on. A cheap OCD joke, with OCD misused and the characters being cruel to the person they think possesses it? Like...why. It was incredibly gratuitous.)
I know it seems like I'm just here picking on representation in the book, but the truth is, representation is most of what the book was. It's a lot about queerness and a lot about bipolar disorder, and I can't exactly not comment on Jewishness, especially when I know people are going to say "Have you read this??" to me about it for a year. The stuff with Lauren and her dad felt really weak to me - excuses to have her run down to the Cities as often as she wanted, then using the end of the book to rant about the ability to even though she'd have had no relationships at all without that freedom. We barely saw her in Duluth, and if she had any relationships of any sort with anyone there, I don't recall them. But, like I said in the beginning, definite positives too; just go in with open eyes.
I wanna start with things I really liked:
1) The whole co-writing subplot that brings everyone together - that was probably my favorite thing about the book. I really liked the way it showed off different dynamics, and also brought different people together, and was a cute vehicle for flirting, and was a unique story device.
2) Obviously, there's a lot of queer representation, and, as I mentioned above, Gold writes different dynamics in her books that we often don't get to see, and that's something I really appreciate.
3) I'm all for more on-page f/f sex in YA, because it's so rare and I think it's important for teens to see that it's healthy and normal and also what it is, since many don't have the resources. (I also liked the nod to safe sex in the book and in the author's note.) It was a little actually more graphic than I expected, which surprised me only because the ARC came with a note that basically said it wasn't. (Like, I do not remember having seen the word in YA, ever.)
As for the other stuff, some is undoubtedly subjective. I personally bristled at the fact that every single bi (or unlabeled, but clearly into more than one gender) character in this book is presented as flighty and/or undesiring of a solid, monogamous relationship, but it's of course a legitimate way to be; it's just that that's like 99% of bisexual representation in books, and seeing three different non-monosexual characters all that way was a little disheartening. Then again, is presented that way too, so it's not just the bi characters; it's only more stereotypical for them. (This is actually a thing I've noticed with this publisher: I haven't read much by them, but all their YA I've read basically has everyone queer cheating on each other. Again, I'm not looking to illegitimize any experiences, but I find it a bizarre common thread, especially because it's pretty rare in YA.)
The Jewish representation really irked me, though. It's presented in a pretty authoritative, 101 kind of way, but...it actually suggests a bunch of factual inaccuracies. I'm sure plenty of Jewish people do celebrate Purim with a party at their Temple, but that has nothing to do with Purim services, which are just everyday services with the addition of Megillah reading. (Which wasn't mentioned, IIRC, despite being the most important part of the holiday.) Comparing the Purim services to Passover/the Hagadah was really strange to me - Passover does have its own (long) services, but the Hagadah isn't part of them, and isn't read at Temple; it's read at the Seder. My biggest problem, though, was with the character's continuous mention of not keeping kosher, which reminded me of Amy Poehler in Mean Girls, saying, "I'm not like a regular mom - I'm a cool mom!" I get it, Lauren - you blend. Props for not being like those annoying Jews who do keep kosher. Like, I dunno, me.
As for the bipolar representation, I can't speak to it - it felt like a mixed bag to me, with positives (pro-meds, obviously researched, no "this is a reason I can't be with you" kind of drama) and negatives (a lot of use of the word "crazy" by the non-bipolar character, Blake definitely had a MPDG feel to me). What I will say is that when you're writing a mental health book, it is a very big issue to mock another mental illness, even if only in a throwaway line. (I mean, it's always an issue, but particularly when those with mental illnesses are going to seek out your book, like...come on. A cheap OCD joke, with OCD misused and the characters being cruel to the person they think possesses it? Like...why. It was incredibly gratuitous.)
I know it seems like I'm just here picking on representation in the book, but the truth is, representation is most of what the book was. It's a lot about queerness and a lot about bipolar disorder, and I can't exactly not comment on Jewishness, especially when I know people are going to say "Have you read this??" to me about it for a year. The stuff with Lauren and her dad felt really weak to me - excuses to have her run down to the Cities as often as she wanted, then using the end of the book to rant about the ability to even though she'd have had no relationships at all without that freedom. We barely saw her in Duluth, and if she had any relationships of any sort with anyone there, I don't recall them. But, like I said in the beginning, definite positives too; just go in with open eyes.
April 13, 2016
My Year Zero by Rachel Gold, in a sentence, is a YA all-girl love triangle with a Jewish lesbian MC, a bi-girl love interest, and a very satisfyingly happy ending full of love and tenderness.
Okay, now that my entire Mangoverse readership have gone and bought it just from that description—since it just came out today (I was reading an advance copy)—I’ll continue with the review ;-)
I like the fact that this book shows the value of an emotional connection and true interest in the other person’s well-being in a relationship versus just sex and fandom. I like the fact that a bi girl was the one who was able to give this to the MC. I like that the book had positive things to say about both girl sex and Jewish religiousness.
Lauren lives alone with her emotionally-distant-to-the-point-of-abusive father, and she’s at that age where some queer girls are chomping at the bit for their first girlfriend (I certainly was. Obviously not everybody but it’s good to have this kind of representation depicted as normal and healthy. Lord knows there’s enough YA out there where young women want their first boyfriend and young men want their first girlfriend.)
Into this emotional vacuum walks Sierra, who’s exciting, confident, older, and sends mixed signals. She has a boyfriend she doesn’t seem to want to admit to yet she flirts with Lauren after affirming that she likes girls, too. She introduces Lauren to her group of friends, who are all group-writing epic science fiction together. This friend group includes a token straight-guy douche and two other bi characters, one of whom is a Black guy named Kordell, and the other of whom is—Blake. (Yes, of course it’s realistic for three bi teens to be hanging out. Marginalized people often clump together.)
Blake is a fully-fleshed out “funny, sincere nerd” personality, but she also has a mental illness and Sierra’s let the illness completely blanket the rest of Blake in Sierra’s mind so for the first half of the book Lauren seems to see Blake through Sierra’s lies, if that makes sense. Readers: there is some unreliable narrator “the author is sixteen and being misled” going on, so please believe me that all of the bullshit gets exposed for what it is. It’s some pretty hateful bullshit, though. Sierra is not a nice person. (So expect Lauren to Fail a little, in her narrator voice, until she learns how to not be ablist.)
I was worried Blake would be written as some kind of a Manic Pixie since she has bipolar, but she’s not—it’s almost like there are two Blakes, the version of her Sierra thinks exists (Bipolar Blake!) and the real version, who’s a sympathetic, brilliant girl who actually cares about her loved ones instead of using them and finding a way to spin every conflict into something only the other person did wrong like Sierra does. Mental illness, as Blake points out, is “like the volume is turned way up but the song doesn’t change.” In other words, illness and treatment for illness aren’t you and don’t change that innermost core. I think Sierra wasn’t even acknowledging that Blake had an innermost core beyond her disorder.
Anyone who’s read my Climbing the Date Palm and thought “Gee, I like the Kaveh and Farzin dynamic, with the anxious one emotionally abused by an unloving father comforted by the confident, kindhearted math nerd—but I really don’t like m/m as much as I like f/f”—this is your book. This is exactly that, with f/f. And it’s easy to see why Blake is so sweet and full of so much love—like Farzin, she’s got a parent who truly nurtures, supports, and cares about her. (So does Lauren, but her loving, wonderful mom can’t have custody of her because she’s off doing field work in Afghanistan too often.)
I love the fact that the author allows Lauren to have a rich inner monologue, with lines like:
“I’d come out as lesbian about five seconds into the first time I kissed a boy.”
and
“I liked lifting weights. (I mean hand weights, not some massive deadlift Miss Universe thing—wait, Miss Universe is a beauty pageant. But Mr. Universe is a muscle guy? That’s messed up.)”
That makes me like the way her mind works. The line goes on–
“The thing about weights is that it’s me against myself and frankly, I’m pretty easy to beat, so I get to win a lot.”
Lines like that make me smile. Subtly smartass.
I do want to say something, though, about the way Sierra talks around her sexuality: I’m whatever, you know, love is love.
I’m willing to believe in the diversity of the human experience but I just want to point out that I feel like I’m around tons and tons of bi people who identify as bi, pan people who identify as pan, and one lady who expressed her orientation’s fluidity by saying “I’m a lesbian!” for few days once in between two marriages to men, but I’ve never actually met anyone who defined themselves in the “whatever, anything, no labels!” way mga people seem to be in so much of our fictional representation. HOWEVER, the other bi characters–yes, plural–all call themselves bi and this character winds up being a lying hot mess villain, so I’m gonna chalk Sierra’s line up to “Sierra gaslighting” and move on. (There’s a note about this at the end of the review from the author, and I get what she’s saying–there isn’t really a way, within Lauren’s limited POV, to show that Sierra is eventually going to identify as a lesbian, not bi.)
Lauren is “a fan of Sukkot, because no holiday that gets joyful over lemons can be bad.” I’m glad I met Rachel (if only online, so far) because we both seem to find etrogim equally squee-worthy. Sometimes it’s just a relief to be in a space—with a friend, in a book, anything—where fewer of the things that make me feel different from everyone else on the planet are actually different.
I found her descriptions of Purim welcome (hey, we just had that IRL!) and familiar (although at my temple we didn’t have the children in the congregation act out the story, as hers did, we just went around the room and took turns reading.) I also completely empathized with her anxiety over waiting for the inevitable awkward comment from her new gentile friend(s.)
Yes, there are bi people who “cheat” in this book, but so does the lesbian lead, and honestly it’s because of books like this and JL Douglas’s Lunaside that I’m really questioning the obsession with monogamy specifically as regards to teenagers. If someone realizes they’re in the wrong relationship at sixteen, and hook up with someone else in the process of trying to figure out what they really want out of life, that’s sort of the whole point of adolescence, isn’t it? I mean, otherwise our bat mitzvah around the start of menstruation (or something equivalent for trans girls) would signify our literal transition to full adulthood in secular life instead of just religiously.
But we don’t, we have another five or six years to get our shit sorted out (depending on cultural context.) That’s because we know we need practice and we need time. So I think it’s important for teenagers who do slip up and aren’t sure to have room to breathe. I didn’t marry the person I dated at sixteen and I didn’t even marry the person I was engaged to at twenty-one.
We shouldn’t deliberately hurt people, of course. But I can remember being 17 and having a one-night stand with another cis girl when my trans boyfriend at the time had grown more and more distant. Obviously I did the objectively “wrong thing” but at the same time he was basically done with me before I’d even met her, and we were all kids. It’s important to see people wrestling with this thorny shit in YA. I just hold adults to a different standard. And some of the kids in the book really do seem to get this because Blake and the other bi character, Kordell, were casually hooking up as friends before Blake and Lauren become exclusive. Which is also a thing that needs more positive representation.
Here’s my dipshit negative comment: the overdescription of people’s clothing was slightly overwhelming, but I think I’m hypersensitive to that. I’ve had more than one editor/beta reader tell me I need to use more description.
One last note: Rivka! Rivka is in this book. Except here she’s called Cyd. But she’s almost the same character—tall straight (I think? She used treyf in a sentence?) Jewish girl with my nose who takes the young lesbian MC under her wing and nurtures her with empowerment. Yeah, so add this to the list of Jewish YA that has nothing to do with the Shoah. Although I’d like to shoah thing or two to Lauren’s awful father, wow. (Yes, that is officially the worst pun I could possibly ever make in my life. I wonder if Blake—and Farzin—would approve.)
Added note from the author, Rachel Gold:
Is Sierra bi?
You nailed it in your review when you attributed Sierra’s “I’m whatever” line to “Sierra gaslighting.” If we assume (as I do) that bisexual identity not based on who you’re currently having sex with, but rather based on how you feel inside and (optionally) the political stance you’re taking – then the fact that Sierra has sex with both men and women during the book does not automatically make her bi. She would be bisexual if she said she was, but she does not.
She is not bisexual and she doesn’t say she’s bi because of two factors:
At the time the story happens, she’s actually still figuring out what her real sexual orientation is. Sometime in her 20s, she’ll settle on lesbian, but not everyone figures that out young like Lauren does. At least (unlike me) she’s not claiming a bi identity in her teens to placate her parents.
At 19, she’s attracted to novelty, influence and money. That’s not something that we have a sexual orientation label for, hence her trouble answering the question of what she is. (And hence the gaslighting sense of: “Don’t look too hard at who I’m being and how I’m behaving.”)
This is not to imply that people who take a while to figure out their sexual orientation are in any way like Sierra. People should get as long as they want to work that stuff out and then be able to change it when they want.
Okay, now that my entire Mangoverse readership have gone and bought it just from that description—since it just came out today (I was reading an advance copy)—I’ll continue with the review ;-)
I like the fact that this book shows the value of an emotional connection and true interest in the other person’s well-being in a relationship versus just sex and fandom. I like the fact that a bi girl was the one who was able to give this to the MC. I like that the book had positive things to say about both girl sex and Jewish religiousness.
Lauren lives alone with her emotionally-distant-to-the-point-of-abusive father, and she’s at that age where some queer girls are chomping at the bit for their first girlfriend (I certainly was. Obviously not everybody but it’s good to have this kind of representation depicted as normal and healthy. Lord knows there’s enough YA out there where young women want their first boyfriend and young men want their first girlfriend.)
Into this emotional vacuum walks Sierra, who’s exciting, confident, older, and sends mixed signals. She has a boyfriend she doesn’t seem to want to admit to yet she flirts with Lauren after affirming that she likes girls, too. She introduces Lauren to her group of friends, who are all group-writing epic science fiction together. This friend group includes a token straight-guy douche and two other bi characters, one of whom is a Black guy named Kordell, and the other of whom is—Blake. (Yes, of course it’s realistic for three bi teens to be hanging out. Marginalized people often clump together.)
Blake is a fully-fleshed out “funny, sincere nerd” personality, but she also has a mental illness and Sierra’s let the illness completely blanket the rest of Blake in Sierra’s mind so for the first half of the book Lauren seems to see Blake through Sierra’s lies, if that makes sense. Readers: there is some unreliable narrator “the author is sixteen and being misled” going on, so please believe me that all of the bullshit gets exposed for what it is. It’s some pretty hateful bullshit, though. Sierra is not a nice person. (So expect Lauren to Fail a little, in her narrator voice, until she learns how to not be ablist.)
I was worried Blake would be written as some kind of a Manic Pixie since she has bipolar, but she’s not—it’s almost like there are two Blakes, the version of her Sierra thinks exists (Bipolar Blake!) and the real version, who’s a sympathetic, brilliant girl who actually cares about her loved ones instead of using them and finding a way to spin every conflict into something only the other person did wrong like Sierra does. Mental illness, as Blake points out, is “like the volume is turned way up but the song doesn’t change.” In other words, illness and treatment for illness aren’t you and don’t change that innermost core. I think Sierra wasn’t even acknowledging that Blake had an innermost core beyond her disorder.
Anyone who’s read my Climbing the Date Palm and thought “Gee, I like the Kaveh and Farzin dynamic, with the anxious one emotionally abused by an unloving father comforted by the confident, kindhearted math nerd—but I really don’t like m/m as much as I like f/f”—this is your book. This is exactly that, with f/f. And it’s easy to see why Blake is so sweet and full of so much love—like Farzin, she’s got a parent who truly nurtures, supports, and cares about her. (So does Lauren, but her loving, wonderful mom can’t have custody of her because she’s off doing field work in Afghanistan too often.)
I love the fact that the author allows Lauren to have a rich inner monologue, with lines like:
“I’d come out as lesbian about five seconds into the first time I kissed a boy.”
and
“I liked lifting weights. (I mean hand weights, not some massive deadlift Miss Universe thing—wait, Miss Universe is a beauty pageant. But Mr. Universe is a muscle guy? That’s messed up.)”
That makes me like the way her mind works. The line goes on–
“The thing about weights is that it’s me against myself and frankly, I’m pretty easy to beat, so I get to win a lot.”
Lines like that make me smile. Subtly smartass.
I do want to say something, though, about the way Sierra talks around her sexuality: I’m whatever, you know, love is love.
I’m willing to believe in the diversity of the human experience but I just want to point out that I feel like I’m around tons and tons of bi people who identify as bi, pan people who identify as pan, and one lady who expressed her orientation’s fluidity by saying “I’m a lesbian!” for few days once in between two marriages to men, but I’ve never actually met anyone who defined themselves in the “whatever, anything, no labels!” way mga people seem to be in so much of our fictional representation. HOWEVER, the other bi characters–yes, plural–all call themselves bi and this character winds up being a lying hot mess villain, so I’m gonna chalk Sierra’s line up to “Sierra gaslighting” and move on. (There’s a note about this at the end of the review from the author, and I get what she’s saying–there isn’t really a way, within Lauren’s limited POV, to show that Sierra is eventually going to identify as a lesbian, not bi.)
Lauren is “a fan of Sukkot, because no holiday that gets joyful over lemons can be bad.” I’m glad I met Rachel (if only online, so far) because we both seem to find etrogim equally squee-worthy. Sometimes it’s just a relief to be in a space—with a friend, in a book, anything—where fewer of the things that make me feel different from everyone else on the planet are actually different.
I found her descriptions of Purim welcome (hey, we just had that IRL!) and familiar (although at my temple we didn’t have the children in the congregation act out the story, as hers did, we just went around the room and took turns reading.) I also completely empathized with her anxiety over waiting for the inevitable awkward comment from her new gentile friend(s.)
Yes, there are bi people who “cheat” in this book, but so does the lesbian lead, and honestly it’s because of books like this and JL Douglas’s Lunaside that I’m really questioning the obsession with monogamy specifically as regards to teenagers. If someone realizes they’re in the wrong relationship at sixteen, and hook up with someone else in the process of trying to figure out what they really want out of life, that’s sort of the whole point of adolescence, isn’t it? I mean, otherwise our bat mitzvah around the start of menstruation (or something equivalent for trans girls) would signify our literal transition to full adulthood in secular life instead of just religiously.
But we don’t, we have another five or six years to get our shit sorted out (depending on cultural context.) That’s because we know we need practice and we need time. So I think it’s important for teenagers who do slip up and aren’t sure to have room to breathe. I didn’t marry the person I dated at sixteen and I didn’t even marry the person I was engaged to at twenty-one.
We shouldn’t deliberately hurt people, of course. But I can remember being 17 and having a one-night stand with another cis girl when my trans boyfriend at the time had grown more and more distant. Obviously I did the objectively “wrong thing” but at the same time he was basically done with me before I’d even met her, and we were all kids. It’s important to see people wrestling with this thorny shit in YA. I just hold adults to a different standard. And some of the kids in the book really do seem to get this because Blake and the other bi character, Kordell, were casually hooking up as friends before Blake and Lauren become exclusive. Which is also a thing that needs more positive representation.
Here’s my dipshit negative comment: the overdescription of people’s clothing was slightly overwhelming, but I think I’m hypersensitive to that. I’ve had more than one editor/beta reader tell me I need to use more description.
One last note: Rivka! Rivka is in this book. Except here she’s called Cyd. But she’s almost the same character—tall straight (I think? She used treyf in a sentence?) Jewish girl with my nose who takes the young lesbian MC under her wing and nurtures her with empowerment. Yeah, so add this to the list of Jewish YA that has nothing to do with the Shoah. Although I’d like to shoah thing or two to Lauren’s awful father, wow. (Yes, that is officially the worst pun I could possibly ever make in my life. I wonder if Blake—and Farzin—would approve.)
Added note from the author, Rachel Gold:
Is Sierra bi?
You nailed it in your review when you attributed Sierra’s “I’m whatever” line to “Sierra gaslighting.” If we assume (as I do) that bisexual identity not based on who you’re currently having sex with, but rather based on how you feel inside and (optionally) the political stance you’re taking – then the fact that Sierra has sex with both men and women during the book does not automatically make her bi. She would be bisexual if she said she was, but she does not.
She is not bisexual and she doesn’t say she’s bi because of two factors:
At the time the story happens, she’s actually still figuring out what her real sexual orientation is. Sometime in her 20s, she’ll settle on lesbian, but not everyone figures that out young like Lauren does. At least (unlike me) she’s not claiming a bi identity in her teens to placate her parents.
At 19, she’s attracted to novelty, influence and money. That’s not something that we have a sexual orientation label for, hence her trouble answering the question of what she is. (And hence the gaslighting sense of: “Don’t look too hard at who I’m being and how I’m behaving.”)
This is not to imply that people who take a while to figure out their sexual orientation are in any way like Sierra. People should get as long as they want to work that stuff out and then be able to change it when they want.
October 13, 2015
yeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
March 7, 2016
This is my third book by Rachel Gold and I definitely think it would be apt to describe her as the LGBT John Green. I'd love to simply say "the lesbian John Green", but she really does have all the letters in her fiction! If you're new to Rachel Gold, I'd suggest starting with her previous novel, Just Girls. Such an eye-opener for me on trans issues and how that mostly hidden segment of society lives.
My Year Zero trades in the T for L and B. With memorable characters who are definitely quirky and definitely deep, we not only get a story but a story within a story! Also I guarantee you'll never thing about infinity or zero the same again. Also where can I purchase a nanite suit? This book totally made me want one!
My Year Zero trades in the T for L and B. With memorable characters who are definitely quirky and definitely deep, we not only get a story but a story within a story! Also I guarantee you'll never thing about infinity or zero the same again. Also where can I purchase a nanite suit? This book totally made me want one!
March 13, 2016
I had no idea what to expect from MYZ. I've not read a fiction that addresses mental health before and I'd never really considered doing so. What I found was a little bit of me, a stressful trip down memory lane, and a story within a story (that's right, it's SO META). Gold's writing always sucks me in because she hits the nail on the head if anyone has experienced what is happening. There are also sexy times within these pages that I will mention, good ones too, and not in the 10 cent porn article way, the way that grabs you and lets you know it's there and then rolls with the story. Other great gems I found in the story: math, infinites, nanites...and shape-shifters!
Blake and Lauren are my faves. They're almost complete opposites, like yin and yang, and they are adorable. MYZ is a great read and I look forward to Gold's next release, but don't take my word for it, go meet Lauren and her friends and get sucked in.
Blake and Lauren are my faves. They're almost complete opposites, like yin and yang, and they are adorable. MYZ is a great read and I look forward to Gold's next release, but don't take my word for it, go meet Lauren and her friends and get sucked in.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 25, 2016
I read an interview with the author and it looked like she did a lot of research, so I really wanted to read this book and I’m so glad I did. It was easy to get into. Lauren starts the book already out as a lesbian at 16, which is a refreshing change from all the books where the main character spends most of the time coming out.
I was eager for Lauren to get everything she wanted: girlfriend, relationship, etc. And right off it looked like it was going to go that way, but it didn’t. I loved how deep the story became.
It’s a very thoughtful book. If you’re looking for a light read or a traditional romance, this might not be the book for you. If you like intricate stories and character development with an imperfect character who grows and changes, then you’re going to love this book
*** now spoilers ***
Lauren meets Sierra, who is a classic cute girl, but pretty early on you get the sense that Sierra’s not as great as Lauren thinks she is. Lauren’s perceptions about people are off because she’s been growing up with an anti-emotional dad – and the story handles that with incredible deftness. It was great to see Lauren slowly catch on that things aren’t as they seem. First that her relationship with Sierra isn’t great and then that Blake, who she starts out afraid of, is awesome.
That’s probably the thing I loved most about this book: that the character with a mental illness becomes the one Lauren really falls in love with. I don’t have bipolar disorder like Blake, but I have my own stuff and it’s refreshing and wonderful to see such a bold statement that yes people with mental illnesses can be the beloved character in a romantic story. That’s what’s actually true most of the time in real life, but I almost never see it in fiction. I appreciated that Lauren starts out thinking about Blake as the crazy girl and toward the end of the book has learned better and is totally in love with Blake.
Blake and her friend Kordell are the two out bisexual characters and they have this cool, undefined relationship that looks like some of the relationships I’ve seen among the teens where I work. Not all teens are in formal dating relationships. Plus Blake and Kordell seemed to have a really good way of relating. They obviously care about each other and they’re communicating about what’s okay in their relationship so that when Lauren and Blake have sex, Lauren’s the one who’s cheating.
I confess, it was fun to see a book in which the lesbian character is the one cheating in her relationship and the prominent bi character already has an agreement about what she can and can’t do. She’s the one with integrity.
There’s sex that isn’t all perfect with soft lighting and everybody knowing just what to do. (Thank goodness!)
There’s diversity in a subtle way. The characters aren’t all white, but that’s also not central to the book so it’s just there. Even Lauren being Jewish is important, kind of like it’s part of the setting, but the point of the book isn’t her Jewishness. It’s similar to the way that the point of the book isn’t her being lesbian. It’s an important part of the story, but it’s not what the story is about.
Also on my list of favorite parts were the conversations between Lauren and Blake about math and the universe and everything. They have those super deep conversations I remember from being a teen.
Overall it’s a very cool book that explores a lot of different issues in overlapping ways and doesn’t give simple answers, but does give you characters to love and cheer for.
I was eager for Lauren to get everything she wanted: girlfriend, relationship, etc. And right off it looked like it was going to go that way, but it didn’t. I loved how deep the story became.
It’s a very thoughtful book. If you’re looking for a light read or a traditional romance, this might not be the book for you. If you like intricate stories and character development with an imperfect character who grows and changes, then you’re going to love this book
*** now spoilers ***
Lauren meets Sierra, who is a classic cute girl, but pretty early on you get the sense that Sierra’s not as great as Lauren thinks she is. Lauren’s perceptions about people are off because she’s been growing up with an anti-emotional dad – and the story handles that with incredible deftness. It was great to see Lauren slowly catch on that things aren’t as they seem. First that her relationship with Sierra isn’t great and then that Blake, who she starts out afraid of, is awesome.
That’s probably the thing I loved most about this book: that the character with a mental illness becomes the one Lauren really falls in love with. I don’t have bipolar disorder like Blake, but I have my own stuff and it’s refreshing and wonderful to see such a bold statement that yes people with mental illnesses can be the beloved character in a romantic story. That’s what’s actually true most of the time in real life, but I almost never see it in fiction. I appreciated that Lauren starts out thinking about Blake as the crazy girl and toward the end of the book has learned better and is totally in love with Blake.
Blake and her friend Kordell are the two out bisexual characters and they have this cool, undefined relationship that looks like some of the relationships I’ve seen among the teens where I work. Not all teens are in formal dating relationships. Plus Blake and Kordell seemed to have a really good way of relating. They obviously care about each other and they’re communicating about what’s okay in their relationship so that when Lauren and Blake have sex, Lauren’s the one who’s cheating.
I confess, it was fun to see a book in which the lesbian character is the one cheating in her relationship and the prominent bi character already has an agreement about what she can and can’t do. She’s the one with integrity.
There’s sex that isn’t all perfect with soft lighting and everybody knowing just what to do. (Thank goodness!)
There’s diversity in a subtle way. The characters aren’t all white, but that’s also not central to the book so it’s just there. Even Lauren being Jewish is important, kind of like it’s part of the setting, but the point of the book isn’t her Jewishness. It’s similar to the way that the point of the book isn’t her being lesbian. It’s an important part of the story, but it’s not what the story is about.
Also on my list of favorite parts were the conversations between Lauren and Blake about math and the universe and everything. They have those super deep conversations I remember from being a teen.
Overall it’s a very cool book that explores a lot of different issues in overlapping ways and doesn’t give simple answers, but does give you characters to love and cheer for.
Read
March 28, 2016Graded By: Brian
Cover Story: Mathtastic
Drinking Buddy: College Kegger
Testosterone Estrogen Level: Wow
Talky Talk: Awk...ward
Bonus Factors: Evil Father, Math, Collaborative Writing
Bromance Status: That Awesome Friend in College
Read the full book report here.
Cover Story: Mathtastic
Drinking Buddy: College Kegger
Talky Talk: Awk...ward
Bonus Factors: Evil Father, Math, Collaborative Writing
Bromance Status: That Awesome Friend in College
Read the full book report here.
February 22, 2016
I received an advance e-copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
My Year Zero is a complicated and intriguing young-adult romance about Lauren, a 16yo art geek from Duluth Minnesota. She thinks her boring life will get better when she gets a girlfriend. It certainly gets less boring as she joins a group of friends writing an online space opera, but it gets more complicated as she navigates issues of neglect, emotional abuse, and a friend's bipolar disorder. Lauren is an appealing character, as are her new friends. This is an engaging, layered tale with a cast of characters who are often not represented in more mainstream fiction.
My Year Zero is a complicated and intriguing young-adult romance about Lauren, a 16yo art geek from Duluth Minnesota. She thinks her boring life will get better when she gets a girlfriend. It certainly gets less boring as she joins a group of friends writing an online space opera, but it gets more complicated as she navigates issues of neglect, emotional abuse, and a friend's bipolar disorder. Lauren is an appealing character, as are her new friends. This is an engaging, layered tale with a cast of characters who are often not represented in more mainstream fiction.
January 10, 2016
Fantastic read (for those of you wondering how I read in December a book not released until March - I beta read the final edited version).
I'll add a more comprehensive review once the novel official hits the shelf.
For now: You are in for a treat, "My Year Zero" does not disappoint :)
I'll add a more comprehensive review once the novel official hits the shelf.
For now: You are in for a treat, "My Year Zero" does not disappoint :)
March 18, 2016
When I met Blake, I had no idea that she would destroy my life.
My Year Zero makes for a great addition to the lesbian YA genre. In a lot of ways, it’s a refreshing change from the standard lesbian YA narrative. Lauren is a Jewish teenager with an emotionally neglectful father. One of the other major characters is bipolar. Add into this mix an unhealthy first relationship, a group storytelling/roleplaying website, and an enthusiasm for math, and you have a lot more to juggle than most queer YA I’ve read attempt to do.
This also isn’t a coming out story.
Full review at: http://lesbrary.com/2016/03/18/danika...
My Year Zero makes for a great addition to the lesbian YA genre. In a lot of ways, it’s a refreshing change from the standard lesbian YA narrative. Lauren is a Jewish teenager with an emotionally neglectful father. One of the other major characters is bipolar. Add into this mix an unhealthy first relationship, a group storytelling/roleplaying website, and an enthusiasm for math, and you have a lot more to juggle than most queer YA I’ve read attempt to do.
This also isn’t a coming out story.
Full review at: http://lesbrary.com/2016/03/18/danika...
January 24, 2018
Some bi-misrepresentation that was irking, but, sadly, this is all too common. Otherwise an okay read. The fact that most of the characters are writing fiction together offered some inventive narratiion, which is always cool.
August 4, 2019
3.5/5 stars.
April 23, 2016
In all honesty, while I am always impressed with the way information is dispersed by RG, I was not expecting to find something as subtly correct as this book.
Things which are NOT at the center of this book: religion, school, the computer kid with a meltdown.
***Spoilers present in this review***
Things which ARE central: relationships with people, moods, feelings, creativity and respect.
I have read both of the books which came before this (Being Emily and Just Girls) and while I did not completely relate to either of them, this book made RG's work personal. Lauren seems like so many of the people I went to high school with, and at times reminded me of myself. She has the transparency of both Emily and Ella (from the former books) but is a little more artsy (which I greatly appreciate).
Lauren's family is a split one, her father is distant, seemingly devoid of much emotional nuturing and has picked Lauren's brother as his favorite child (and thusly the only one worth his time). Her mother is mostly absent in this story. Through a random happenstance Lauren meets Sierra who is part of a writing group and enlists Lauren. Eventually they date, but Lauren hooks up with Sierra's best friend, Blake. Plot lines continue and Blake and Lauren end up being a couple, Lauren finally tells her dad what's what and that's that.
Things I loved about this book: Blake is bipolar and you get to see her at various degrees. Sierra is a controlling manipulative person and you watch that unfold. Lauren is trying to discover who she is (and is at an age when that is pretty required). The majority of the characters belong to the LGBT community, apart from Cyd-who is just delightfully sassy.
Things I did NOT love about this book: Unlike Emily and Ella, the main character here (Lauren) is not the one suffering from anything-apart from a lack of self confidence and perhaps a really less than stellar dad. I expected Blake's character to be the lead. RG has a knack for taking people who are never given lead roles: trans women, lesbian trans women, etc and making them resilient leads with complexity. Blake is more of a secondary character on the same level as Sierra. It's not that I don't appreciate Lauren, but as a member of the BD community, I would have loved to have read a story about someone like me instead of someone learning to adapt to someone like me. Call me selfish, but I was hoping that Blake would be a kick ass heroine instead of a backseat sidekick.
I gave this book four stars for that exact reason. There are the things which I have come to lovingly expect from RG: showing relationships in an honest light, people with realistic issues and concerns and growth of character complexities. But the fact that she diverged from the path of "make the "deviant" the lead role" and pushed Blake into the background is something that I found underwhelming.
I DID appreciate, however, the accuracy with which Blake's condition was presented. I also use the terminology "going dark" and lived through the mood charts and routines. The facts which were presented in true RG fashion (not knowing they're facts and stats until you reflect later) were spot on. Blake remained true to life and I love that.
I'll read RG each and every time she puts a book out and can only hope that one day she will push the boundaries of her characters even further and thusly herself by making leads out of people who are otherwise marginalized and making the other people grow because of it.
Things which are NOT at the center of this book: religion, school, the computer kid with a meltdown.
***Spoilers present in this review***
Things which ARE central: relationships with people, moods, feelings, creativity and respect.
I have read both of the books which came before this (Being Emily and Just Girls) and while I did not completely relate to either of them, this book made RG's work personal. Lauren seems like so many of the people I went to high school with, and at times reminded me of myself. She has the transparency of both Emily and Ella (from the former books) but is a little more artsy (which I greatly appreciate).
Lauren's family is a split one, her father is distant, seemingly devoid of much emotional nuturing and has picked Lauren's brother as his favorite child (and thusly the only one worth his time). Her mother is mostly absent in this story. Through a random happenstance Lauren meets Sierra who is part of a writing group and enlists Lauren. Eventually they date, but Lauren hooks up with Sierra's best friend, Blake. Plot lines continue and Blake and Lauren end up being a couple, Lauren finally tells her dad what's what and that's that.
Things I loved about this book: Blake is bipolar and you get to see her at various degrees. Sierra is a controlling manipulative person and you watch that unfold. Lauren is trying to discover who she is (and is at an age when that is pretty required). The majority of the characters belong to the LGBT community, apart from Cyd-who is just delightfully sassy.
Things I did NOT love about this book: Unlike Emily and Ella, the main character here (Lauren) is not the one suffering from anything-apart from a lack of self confidence and perhaps a really less than stellar dad. I expected Blake's character to be the lead. RG has a knack for taking people who are never given lead roles: trans women, lesbian trans women, etc and making them resilient leads with complexity. Blake is more of a secondary character on the same level as Sierra. It's not that I don't appreciate Lauren, but as a member of the BD community, I would have loved to have read a story about someone like me instead of someone learning to adapt to someone like me. Call me selfish, but I was hoping that Blake would be a kick ass heroine instead of a backseat sidekick.
I gave this book four stars for that exact reason. There are the things which I have come to lovingly expect from RG: showing relationships in an honest light, people with realistic issues and concerns and growth of character complexities. But the fact that she diverged from the path of "make the "deviant" the lead role" and pushed Blake into the background is something that I found underwhelming.
I DID appreciate, however, the accuracy with which Blake's condition was presented. I also use the terminology "going dark" and lived through the mood charts and routines. The facts which were presented in true RG fashion (not knowing they're facts and stats until you reflect later) were spot on. Blake remained true to life and I love that.
I'll read RG each and every time she puts a book out and can only hope that one day she will push the boundaries of her characters even further and thusly herself by making leads out of people who are otherwise marginalized and making the other people grow because of it.
April 4, 2016
Lauren is a young woman, looking towards high school graduation. She has come to the realization that she is a lesbian, and that the likelihood of finding a suitable partner in Duluth, Minnesota is incredibly small. She joins an online writers group out of the Twin Cities – Minneapolis and St. Paul are only a few hours away – and travels down to meet her new online friends in person. This leads to a series of relationships – especially with Sierra, who extends their relationship to include a romantic – and physical – dimension. And Blake, who may be bisexual, BUT according to Sierra, is also bipolar.
The promotional materials for this book discuss the characters' examination of being bipolar or living with someone who is. I believe this misses the strongest – the REAL – meaning of the book. While I am definitely unqualified to judge its accuracy, being a straight guy on the outer edge of middle age, I believe that this book is THE “coming of age” novel for young lesbians. Lauren spends a lot of time exploring just who she is, and who she will be. This does include sex; some rather intense descriptions of her first encounters are present between these pages. Miss Gold accomplishes an incredible feat – the sex in this book not only advances the plot, but is used to show how Lauren is growing as a person and in her own understanding of that person.
*** SPOILER ON *** *** SPOILER OFF ***
Miss Gold, I realize that I am not your target audience – not by a long shot – but having read and reviewed all 3 of your novels to date, I would like to be considered one of your biggest fans. Do you have room for an old straight guy on the roster?
RATING: 4 1/2 stars, rounded up to 5 stars.
DISCLOSURE: I was gifted a copy of this book by the author in return for a prompt, honest review.
The promotional materials for this book discuss the characters' examination of being bipolar or living with someone who is. I believe this misses the strongest – the REAL – meaning of the book. While I am definitely unqualified to judge its accuracy, being a straight guy on the outer edge of middle age, I believe that this book is THE “coming of age” novel for young lesbians. Lauren spends a lot of time exploring just who she is, and who she will be. This does include sex; some rather intense descriptions of her first encounters are present between these pages. Miss Gold accomplishes an incredible feat – the sex in this book not only advances the plot, but is used to show how Lauren is growing as a person and in her own understanding of that person.
*** SPOILER ON *** *** SPOILER OFF ***
Miss Gold, I realize that I am not your target audience – not by a long shot – but having read and reviewed all 3 of your novels to date, I would like to be considered one of your biggest fans. Do you have room for an old straight guy on the roster?
RATING: 4 1/2 stars, rounded up to 5 stars.
DISCLOSURE: I was gifted a copy of this book by the author in return for a prompt, honest review.
July 11, 2016
3.5
In My Year Zero, we follow Lauren, a girl who believes she's crazy, and that the cure to her craziness is a girlfriend. Naturally, when she joins an online storytelling group, she draws in the attention of a girl named Sierra. So why is that for all her attraction to Sierra, she's opening up to Blake?
Overall, I liked this book and I'm glad to have read it. There were parts in the middle and the ending that dragged on and on, and at times Lauren felt like a really dull character. A lot of the secondary characters felt weak and blended together. There was a couple other minor things I didn't like, but seeing as those are unimportant and are more of just my personal preference, I won't go into them.
There was definitely a lot of diversity in this book, and while I don't usually note that, I have never read a book with a Jewish lesbian or a bisexual girl diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Usually, there's one queer character, and another, separate nonwhite character, if anything at all. Seeing intersectionality was great.
Aside from romance, we see a lot of discussion on mental health and toxic relationships, all while having some humor and geekiness. My Year Zero was enjoyable and important, and I recommend it if you're interested in reading it.
In My Year Zero, we follow Lauren, a girl who believes she's crazy, and that the cure to her craziness is a girlfriend. Naturally, when she joins an online storytelling group, she draws in the attention of a girl named Sierra. So why is that for all her attraction to Sierra, she's opening up to Blake?
Overall, I liked this book and I'm glad to have read it. There were parts in the middle and the ending that dragged on and on, and at times Lauren felt like a really dull character. A lot of the secondary characters felt weak and blended together. There was a couple other minor things I didn't like, but seeing as those are unimportant and are more of just my personal preference, I won't go into them.
There was definitely a lot of diversity in this book, and while I don't usually note that, I have never read a book with a Jewish lesbian or a bisexual girl diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Usually, there's one queer character, and another, separate nonwhite character, if anything at all. Seeing intersectionality was great.
Aside from romance, we see a lot of discussion on mental health and toxic relationships, all while having some humor and geekiness. My Year Zero was enjoyable and important, and I recommend it if you're interested in reading it.
September 12, 2019
As a bipolar bisexual person it was great to have a character I resonated so much with in a book, and it was also fucking terrible because looking at the stuff I do from the outside made me feel hellish. But it's just testament to Gold's ability to really bring these characters to life and make them seem as real as possible.
it was also weird reading about a POV character with my name who wasn't the one with whom I connected most; I have the tendency to actively try to connect with fictional Laurens, it seems, but this time my attention was way more grabbed by Blake.
Spoiler for relationship endgame:
it was also weird reading about a POV character with my name who wasn't the one with whom I connected most; I have the tendency to actively try to connect with fictional Laurens, it seems, but this time my attention was way more grabbed by Blake.
Spoiler for relationship endgame:
August 7, 2019
Lauren is a 16 year old living in Duluth, Minnesota, with her father who gives her little attention and time, except to consistently make sure she knows he expects good grades and a high level of conformity. But Lauren is a lesbian and an artist and is wasting away from neglect and boredom. When she meets Sierra, a girl who is visiting from the Twin Cities, there's a connection that eventually turns into a relationship plus an invitation for Lauren to participate in writing a group sci fi fantasy story in which Sierra is cast as a queen and Lauren as one of her knights. The story includes a number of Sierra's friends, including Blake, a math genius who both frightens and interests Lauren.
This is not a sweet lesbian YA story. It is an intense look at parental neglect and control, how mental illness is viewed, and issues of narcissism, all against the backdrop of a coming of age journey. It took me some time to commit to this book. It's possible that I wasn't particularly interested in the sci fi story-within-the-story, even though it was clearly a metaphor for what was taking place. There were also a few places in the first 1/3 that felt a bit overwritten (e.g., even though Lauren sees the world through the eyes of an artist, her obsessive accounting of every color she sees became a bit much). And finally, while it was very clear that Lauren was in high school, it was hard to understand whether Sierra, Blake and all the others were in high school or in college.
All in all, though, the writing is strong and the emotions (as well as the descriptions of Lauren's inability to have emotions) were really well constructed.
This is not a sweet lesbian YA story. It is an intense look at parental neglect and control, how mental illness is viewed, and issues of narcissism, all against the backdrop of a coming of age journey. It took me some time to commit to this book. It's possible that I wasn't particularly interested in the sci fi story-within-the-story, even though it was clearly a metaphor for what was taking place. There were also a few places in the first 1/3 that felt a bit overwritten (e.g., even though Lauren sees the world through the eyes of an artist, her obsessive accounting of every color she sees became a bit much). And finally, while it was very clear that Lauren was in high school, it was hard to understand whether Sierra, Blake and all the others were in high school or in college.
All in all, though, the writing is strong and the emotions (as well as the descriptions of Lauren's inability to have emotions) were really well constructed.
August 8, 2018
Lauren is a sixteen-year-old Jewish lesbian, living in a small town in central USA. She is lonely at her school, and neglected by her father, who leaves her alone for days at a time, and expects her to wait on him when he returns. She doesn't realise how much she is struggling until she makes friends with a group of slightly older teenager in the nearby big city of Minneapolis. There are a lot of elements to this novel: Lauren's sexuality, the neglect she experiences, and the relationships she begins. It also includes a main character who is diagnosed with Bipolar, and has a subplot about an interactive online game, as well as a lot of details about maths. But for the most part, Gold balances of all this: it's a complex novel, dealing with the messiness of lives, and the struggle for teenagers to cope with their parents' expectations and their own need for love. I liked how lesbian relationships were not idealised, and Lauren doesn't immediately find the love she is looking for. It also deals well with mental health and ethnicity, as well as learning to cope with emotions. I wish I'd read this as a teenager because I think it would have meant a lot to me -- but it's still a great read.
February 23, 2021
I picked this book up because I finished reading aristotle and Dante and wanted a sapphic ya novel. The writing was a little hard to get through at first (50-70 pages tbh) because it drags a bit and is a bit too “info dump” at times (she uses entire paragraphs to describes clothing (we get it a lesbian is wearing flannel and combat boots) and what in the world are “eyes like a shattered phone screen”?
But once I got into it I did enjoy it.
The way the bipolar is handed is mostly okay and I can’t speak for all bipolar people as we’re all different. I did feel certainly called out when she talked about some things.
Also I will admit that in the first 120 pages I was like “ ugh this plot is absolutely RIDICULOUS no one would act like this/do this until I realized that is pretty much EXACTLY what I did as a internet-heavy teenage lesbian.
3 stars for the writing and the cringe, but overall enjoyable in total.
I appreciate the attempt at diversity and especially the bipolar and safe sex resources in the back.
But once I got into it I did enjoy it.
The way the bipolar is handed is mostly okay and I can’t speak for all bipolar people as we’re all different. I did feel certainly called out when she talked about some things.
Also I will admit that in the first 120 pages I was like “ ugh this plot is absolutely RIDICULOUS no one would act like this/do this until I realized that is pretty much EXACTLY what I did as a internet-heavy teenage lesbian.
3 stars for the writing and the cringe, but overall enjoyable in total.
I appreciate the attempt at diversity and especially the bipolar and safe sex resources in the back.
January 17, 2019
I didn't think I would make it through this one, but about a third of the way through, it picked up. It nails a lot of difficult conversations -- how to deal with long distance relationships, how to handle abuse in a relationship, how to navigate these already messy scenarios while being queer, what to do about neglectful/abusive families, how to cope with mental illness with very few resources, how cultivate a healthy relationship when your partner has a mental illness. A lot of these things were done subtly and handled well.
Two nitpicks:
1. The author obsessively described clothing style/color. And I don't just mean, "Lauren was wearing a yellow shirt." No, no. "Lauren wore a shirt the color of warm butter, with short sleeves and a ruffled hem." That's not an actual quote, but it might as well be. It made for nice visuals, but the description dumps were so poorly integrated it was a bit annoying.
2. The end scene with Lauren's father was a tiiiiiiiiiny bit oversimplified. I liked the arc with her coming to terms with her dad's abuse, and I was emotionally connected to her decisions, but it just seemed rushed. I don't want to get into spoilers, but compared to the rest of the book, the answer just seemed a little too easy. Maybe Gold was just trying to get it to end, idk.
Two nitpicks:
1. The author obsessively described clothing style/color. And I don't just mean, "Lauren was wearing a yellow shirt." No, no. "Lauren wore a shirt the color of warm butter, with short sleeves and a ruffled hem." That's not an actual quote, but it might as well be. It made for nice visuals, but the description dumps were so poorly integrated it was a bit annoying.
2. The end scene with Lauren's father was a tiiiiiiiiiny bit oversimplified. I liked the arc with her coming to terms with her dad's abuse, and I was emotionally connected to her decisions, but it just seemed rushed. I don't want to get into spoilers, but compared to the rest of the book, the answer just seemed a little too easy. Maybe Gold was just trying to get it to end, idk.
November 22, 2017
I have to give this book 5 stars because it brought me out of a deep reading slump. This book, guh... how do I even begin. It's a story about youth, and love, queer love, discovering who you are, de-stigmatizing mental health, infinities and more. I loved every part of this. I loved Lauren's narrative, her story, her discoveries and the friendships she builds. The fact that this starts off in Duluth and is then based in the cities? Even better. The nerd aspect with the fantasy story building that took place within the story, is all kinds of Rainbow Rowell. I loved it. If you are looking for a new book to pick up and want to expand your horizons, check out YA author Rachel Gold who focuses on LGBTQ narratives. Excellent read - thank you Rachel. XOXO
June 2, 2017
This was a lot of fun, and Deep-- lots of hot girl-girl desire/sex, a cool collaborative storytelling subplot that parallels to the storyline in clear/deliberate and yet not heavyhanded ways --and by the end is actually used as a kind of intervention into IRL conflicts. The best part of the novel was the really clear-sighted and affirming representation of a character who's bipolar. Mild frustration with how non/monogamy issues are handled, but the characters are all compelling and spot on -- ugh, Sierra -- Gold does a phenomenal job presenting her first as dreamy and desirable -- until she is revealed to be such a manipulative brat! We're with Lauren the whole time.
July 4, 2017
3.5
I appreciated the diversity, the humor, the giddy teen romance, the story within a story, the bi characters, and the initiative to handle tough subjects like emotional abuse, neglect, and mental illness.
I thought it dragged in parts, and Lauren's father's dialogue seemed very canned. Actually, all the male characters were kind of one-note, other than maybe Isaac. I also had a hard time seeing Lauren as a real person. The voice was maybe too polished for who she was supposed to be? I can't quite pin it down.
Overall, I'm glad it exists, and it's not bad, but I probably wouldn't have read it if it weren't for the queer characters.
I appreciated the diversity, the humor, the giddy teen romance, the story within a story, the bi characters, and the initiative to handle tough subjects like emotional abuse, neglect, and mental illness.
I thought it dragged in parts, and Lauren's father's dialogue seemed very canned. Actually, all the male characters were kind of one-note, other than maybe Isaac. I also had a hard time seeing Lauren as a real person. The voice was maybe too polished for who she was supposed to be? I can't quite pin it down.
Overall, I'm glad it exists, and it's not bad, but I probably wouldn't have read it if it weren't for the queer characters.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 29, 2020
3.5/5 stars
This was a cute ya f/f romance. I had fun, but definitely would have liked it better when I was younger and refusing to communicate with anyone about your feelings was something I understood more. I did relate a lot to Lauren. I definitely see a younger me in her and made a lot of the mistakes she spent the book making. But as a 26 year old I just spent a lot of time going "oh honey, no". However I think outside of the kind of weird rushed ending, it was enjoyable and would recommend to anyone looking for a slightly smutty good time.
This was a cute ya f/f romance. I had fun, but definitely would have liked it better when I was younger and refusing to communicate with anyone about your feelings was something I understood more. I did relate a lot to Lauren. I definitely see a younger me in her and made a lot of the mistakes she spent the book making. But as a 26 year old I just spent a lot of time going "oh honey, no". However I think outside of the kind of weird rushed ending, it was enjoyable and would recommend to anyone looking for a slightly smutty good time.
October 5, 2020
An OK book, sorry I couldn't be more enthusiastic but it did drag in places and - no spoilers - nothing was really resolved. Nice to see some pointers to further information at the end of the book.
It was not really my thing but from the ratings others disagreed, that is always good - read it and see.
It was not really my thing but from the ratings others disagreed, that is always good - read it and see.
January 16, 2022
A sixteen years old lesbian joins a role-playing story with college students she just met. Quickly she ends up in a relationship with another girl. It doesn't go well, it's toxic, they both cheat. This book pushes the boundaries of sex and sexual topics in YA.
Nobody ever really tells the MC to be careful hooking up with college students
Nobody ever really tells the MC to be careful hooking up with college students
December 13, 2019
I wish I’d had this book when I was a teenager and not ended up waiting decades past that to learn all the lessons about relationships and how people treat each other when they actually love and support each other that Lauren does in the story.
March 13, 2018
Tossing on this one..It was..good ,worth the read. I did not even think about not finishing it but, but Im goin 3.5ish I think
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