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Daddy Tried: Overcoming the Failures of Fatherhood
Every father knows failure. It comes with the territory. One generation to the next, imperfect men chip away at God's original design for daddies, leaving a flawed pattern for their sons to follow. Overwhelmed by their failures, it's easy for fathers to feel they have blown it for good and can't redeem themselves.
Within these pages, Tim Bayly offers a frank and hope-filled path to overcoming the inherent failures of imperfect fathers--and to reclaiming manhood and dignity for the man called Daddy. Drawing from decades of his own journey as an imperfect son, father, and pastor, Bayly makes it clear there are no quick fixes. The road to recovery is paved with blood, sweat, and tears, but our Savior walked this path before us.
Daddy Tried makes no apologies for being a book for men. Its subject is the male-only club of fatherhood. It takes the only perfect Father as our guide. Bayly stares the sins of fathers past, present, and future squarely in the face and clears a path to overcoming them--a path that begins with faith in our heavenly Father who tells us He knows our weaknesses.
Within these pages, Tim Bayly offers a frank and hope-filled path to overcoming the inherent failures of imperfect fathers--and to reclaiming manhood and dignity for the man called Daddy. Drawing from decades of his own journey as an imperfect son, father, and pastor, Bayly makes it clear there are no quick fixes. The road to recovery is paved with blood, sweat, and tears, but our Savior walked this path before us.
Daddy Tried makes no apologies for being a book for men. Its subject is the male-only club of fatherhood. It takes the only perfect Father as our guide. Bayly stares the sins of fathers past, present, and future squarely in the face and clears a path to overcoming them--a path that begins with faith in our heavenly Father who tells us He knows our weaknesses.
222 pages, Paperback
Published May 16, 2016
19 people are currently reading
124 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
July 7, 2016
Pastor Bayly has been a great influence on me over the years through his blog and I am grateful for this book. Fatherhood is so misunderstood and maligned in our culture. With warmth, love, wisdom, and the occasional punch Pastor Bayly takes us through what fatherhood is and who our good Father is. I love books where the author just believes what the Bible says. Too many nickel and dime the Bible until it means very little. Also the book "steeled my spine" as Dr. Frame says in the endorsement. I came away sorry for my sins as a father, grateful for the grace of Christ, and ready to dig in and get to work with courage and trust in God.
I really enjoyed his chapter on discipline. I have nine children with a tenth on the way. Discipline is hard and time consuming. It is easy to get slack in the task. His reminder that discipline is love was sorely needed.
His chapter on fathers in the gates was convicting as well. I make too many excuses for not being involved in the community. Pastor Bayly exposes those and encourages us men to find ways to get involved in our community.
Finally, I loved the tender affection for God and others that is woven throughout the book. Christians fathers should be known for their love, their physical affection with their children, their wife, and their friends. We should be known for our tears and our passion. Pastor Bayly doesn't just exhort us to Christian affection, he shows it in the way the book is written. I can imagine that many of these ideas have been spoken dozens of times in pastoral counseling, over coffee, or after church in the parking lot. He shepherds us fathers as we read. I highly recommend it for all fathers, sons, grandfathers, pastors, and elders.
My Rating System
1 Star-Terrible book and dangerous. Burn it in the streets.
2 Stars-Really bad book, would not recommend, probably has some dangerous ideas in it. Few books I read are 1 or 2 stars because I am careful about what I read.
3 Stars-Either I disagree with it at too many points to recommend it or it is just not a good book on the subject or for the genre. Would not read it again, reference it, or recommend it. But it is not necessarily dangerous except as a time waster.
4 Stars-Solid book on the subject or for the genre. I would recommend this book to others and would probably read it again or reference it. Most books fall in this category because I try not to read books I don’t think will be good. There is a quite a variety here. 4.1 is quite different from 4.9.
5 Stars-Excellent book. Classic in the genre or top of the line for the subject. I might also put a book in here that impacted me personally at the time I read it. I would highly recommend this book, even if I do not agree with all that it says. Few books fall in this category. Over time I have put less in this category.
I really enjoyed his chapter on discipline. I have nine children with a tenth on the way. Discipline is hard and time consuming. It is easy to get slack in the task. His reminder that discipline is love was sorely needed.
His chapter on fathers in the gates was convicting as well. I make too many excuses for not being involved in the community. Pastor Bayly exposes those and encourages us men to find ways to get involved in our community.
Finally, I loved the tender affection for God and others that is woven throughout the book. Christians fathers should be known for their love, their physical affection with their children, their wife, and their friends. We should be known for our tears and our passion. Pastor Bayly doesn't just exhort us to Christian affection, he shows it in the way the book is written. I can imagine that many of these ideas have been spoken dozens of times in pastoral counseling, over coffee, or after church in the parking lot. He shepherds us fathers as we read. I highly recommend it for all fathers, sons, grandfathers, pastors, and elders.
My Rating System
1 Star-Terrible book and dangerous. Burn it in the streets.
2 Stars-Really bad book, would not recommend, probably has some dangerous ideas in it. Few books I read are 1 or 2 stars because I am careful about what I read.
3 Stars-Either I disagree with it at too many points to recommend it or it is just not a good book on the subject or for the genre. Would not read it again, reference it, or recommend it. But it is not necessarily dangerous except as a time waster.
4 Stars-Solid book on the subject or for the genre. I would recommend this book to others and would probably read it again or reference it. Most books fall in this category because I try not to read books I don’t think will be good. There is a quite a variety here. 4.1 is quite different from 4.9.
5 Stars-Excellent book. Classic in the genre or top of the line for the subject. I might also put a book in here that impacted me personally at the time I read it. I would highly recommend this book, even if I do not agree with all that it says. Few books fall in this category. Over time I have put less in this category.
August 23, 2019
This was a good book. Tim Bayly is one of the few people on the planet who isn't just drinking kool-aid, and I appreciated his reflections of paternal failure and a reminder of much of the same material that I have found in Douglas Wilson's work. This book doesn't say much that's new, but it had helpful reminders about discipline and love. It also has some beautiful stories, particularly at the end and beginning. I cried when I read it the first time. There's some striking statements throughout. I particularly appreciated the passage about church discipline and about taking care of people. They probably have a very commendable ministry. At the same time, I was surprised to see him advocating the holy kiss, and there were other things I would probably differ about throughout, but I highly commend this book to anyone thinking about fatherhood.
May 10, 2023
First half bit slower but definitely a worth while read especially the second half.
I personally think the title doesn’t do the book justice, I went into it with maybe pretences based off the short title and simple look. He does have practical advice but it’s more deep than that.
Key points;
-Humbling yourself by allowing your kids to hear you repent for sins.
-Interesting argument on kissing I’ve never heard (I won’t spoil it).
-God isn’t a socialist.
-Because some men abuse authority does not mean we should abolish it (there’s authorities above them also).
-Talks a lot of discipline and how to practically apply that.
I personally think the title doesn’t do the book justice, I went into it with maybe pretences based off the short title and simple look. He does have practical advice but it’s more deep than that.
Key points;
-Humbling yourself by allowing your kids to hear you repent for sins.
-Interesting argument on kissing I’ve never heard (I won’t spoil it).
-God isn’t a socialist.
-Because some men abuse authority does not mean we should abolish it (there’s authorities above them also).
-Talks a lot of discipline and how to practically apply that.
May 23, 2021
Really enjoyed this book. A lot of conviction coupled with a lot of encouragement. Years (decades?) of pastoral experience ooze through the pages and the exhortations sit heavy on your shoulders. Would recommend to dads of any stripe be they new, expecting, or struggling. Will revisit over the years.
March 19, 2018
Good book on fatherhood. Direct
January 2, 2019
The first time I read Daddy Tried, my son was too young for parenting to really be an issue (i.e. mission: keep infant alive), and so I failed to really appreciate it. But that was then. Having now actually tried and looked over the somewhat dizzying cliff of my own inadequacy, I am in a much better position to appreciate this book.
In John Frame's Systematic Theology, he defines theology as application stating that "the theologian [re]states the facts and truths of Scripture for the purpose of edification (emphasis his)." He later concludes, "Scripture commands to us a kind of teaching that has people's needs in mind."
This is just what Bayly has done. Starting with the doctrine of the Fall and the doctrine of the perfect Fatherhood of God, he develops a theology of hopeful failure coupled with risk-taking obedience, trusting in the grace of God to make up the difference. As John Frame put it in his review, this is the kind of book that (paraphrase) "clears the head" and "steels the spine."
In John Frame's Systematic Theology, he defines theology as application stating that "the theologian [re]states the facts and truths of Scripture for the purpose of edification (emphasis his)." He later concludes, "Scripture commands to us a kind of teaching that has people's needs in mind."
This is just what Bayly has done. Starting with the doctrine of the Fall and the doctrine of the perfect Fatherhood of God, he develops a theology of hopeful failure coupled with risk-taking obedience, trusting in the grace of God to make up the difference. As John Frame put it in his review, this is the kind of book that (paraphrase) "clears the head" and "steels the spine."
May 26, 2021
Read for the second time in May 2021. I picked it up again by accident, and I'm so glad I did. I started reading the beginning of the book just to familiarize myself with its contents, and it was so good that I just read the whole thing.This book is excellent. Highly recommend for fathers and anyone who wants to become a father. Bayly fosters the healing of the pain of our fathers' failures, and the failures of fathers reading this book, by applying the tender love of God the Father. He also gives very practical wisdom on how to love your wife and children and how to discipline your children. Please do yourself a favor and read this book.
August 8, 2017
A lot of good stuff here. It would be easy to write Bayly off as un-nuanced or sensational but his analysis of the father hunger of our society as well as his heart-wrenching pastoral recounting of the sinful failure of fatherhood in the church make this a timely and convicting book on what God requires of men. As the George MacDonald quote he uses says, "Fatherhood is at the worlds great core." The church is all the more ineffective in today's society because men neglect our charge under God to reflect His Fatherhood in the family, the church and the city. This is a book written to men, with a flavor that is more pastoral/narratival than it is theological, though there was nothing I found theological objectionable in it. His chapters on discipline and instruction I thought were helpful and practical, particularly because he gave concrete examples of discipline without being too ironclad about its application. More questions arise for me, but as a general overview of fatherhood I thought it was helpful. All in all, I found myself corrected and challenged, forced to consider afresh God's design for masculinity, confront the errors of my own father and my own sins, and experience anew the Fatherhood of God through His Son Jesus Christ.
January 24, 2020
Timely words
A clarion call to faithful, biblical fatherhood. Well worth your time; convicting and encouraging, just like a good father. Read it.
A clarion call to faithful, biblical fatherhood. Well worth your time; convicting and encouraging, just like a good father. Read it.
February 4, 2021
This is a really good book. It is biblically solid (and panoramic), historically literate, pastorally sensitive, hard-hitting, and is chock full of pearls of pastoral wisdom delivered via memorable stories. For a non-elder, church member such as myself, it really opened my eyes to what elders [Madeleine Kahn voice] "actually do do,"* and has allowed me to pray for my church leaders with a whole new sense of earnestness and understanding.
* This is a very real problem. I had an elder explain to me once that the reason he did church announcements was that, unless he did them, people would assume he didn't really do any work.
* This is a very real problem. I had an elder explain to me once that the reason he did church announcements was that, unless he did them, people would assume he didn't really do any work.
July 24, 2023
Excellent. Convicting throughout, sobering at times, and winsomely written. Bayly's writing is engaging. This was the kind of book I looked forward to picking up each night.
I felt "exposed" in the best possible way as I read certain sections. He provoked me to question how authentic my example of a Christian father really is. I am thankful to have read this great book.
I felt "exposed" in the best possible way as I read certain sections. He provoked me to question how authentic my example of a Christian father really is. I am thankful to have read this great book.
August 23, 2017
I felt on the verge of weeping while reading much of "Daddy Tried." Fatherhood is stamped into the very pattern of our universe, and any deep discussion of it will touch the soul to the core. This book helped me give more glory to God for His adoption of us as sons -- a doctrine which seems less alien to me now -- and convicted me of my own failure to imitate God in His Fatherhood. Bayly won't let you off the hook easily. Years of caring for others in the role of pastor have helped him learn to diagnose the dark condition of the human heart, and at times the book made me angry: at the sins of others, at my own sins. Read something else if you have itching ears, a desire to be flattered. But if you have a deep longing to serve the Lord more, especially in the area of fatherhood, pick up this book. You'll be strengthened and encouraged in your walk with the Lord.
December 29, 2017
This book reminds every father who reads it that (1) fatherhood is a hard task; (2) we're fallen sinners undertaking a hard task; (3) we're going to fail at it, often, and sometimes miserably; (4) it's a worthy task; (5) God gave us this task, knowing full well that we are fallen sinners who are going to fail at it; (6) so repent and believe; (7) roll up your sleeves and do the hard work with relish; (8) imitate the perfect Father Who does not fail, and when we fail at that, (9) repent and believe again, then get back to doing the work God gave us to do, and (10) keep repenting and believing. It was a real blessing to read this one.
July 24, 2017
One of the best books I've read on being a father. Bayly writes with conviction. Telling of his own personal experience as a son to his father and a father to his children and his congregation.
Bayly exhorts the reader from scripture. The tone is not preachy (in the negative sense of the word). Rather, Bayly uses his personal experience to illustrate the Biblical instruction. This isn't a road map -- several times Bayly writes that he's not going to tell us anymore, the reader has to figure it out on his own. In this way, Bayly doesn't go beyond scripture. This seems like pastoral wisdom to me.
Bayly exhorts the reader from scripture. The tone is not preachy (in the negative sense of the word). Rather, Bayly uses his personal experience to illustrate the Biblical instruction. This isn't a road map -- several times Bayly writes that he's not going to tell us anymore, the reader has to figure it out on his own. In this way, Bayly doesn't go beyond scripture. This seems like pastoral wisdom to me.
July 17, 2017
I've not read too many works on fatherhood, but this by far has been the best. I had some minor disagreements here and there, but over all, the premise of the book is spot-on. Bayly leaves room for differing methodologies, but is properly rigid about the implications of what fatherhood should be. However I was a little taken aback by his jab at libertarianism in the 15th chapter, but then again, the vast majority of faithful Christians are ignorant regarding such... genius Theologians notwithstanding.
July 30, 2017
The best book I've read on being a father. I highly recommend it. It's not for the faint of heart: Bayly is not afraid to give hard words, and doesn't shy away from being politically incorrect! But it is also a deeply pastoral book for men who know they are failures. His use of theology to set up earthly fatherhood is really good, and it not idealistic about what is possible. At the same time, it doesn't let dads get away with anything. Even if we fail, we must try to be the fathers God has made us to be. Do read it.
August 3, 2017
I consider it a privilege to have had the opportunity to meet and develop a friendship (albeit at a great distance) with Tim. I say that not to name-drop, but to say that this is an author you can trust. You will not like everything he has to say, you will be challenged at various points, you may even feel ashamed, but ringing through this book is both the solid note of truth and the accompanying note of one who writes with clarity, wisdom, zeal, and the warmest of loves. This is a valuable book for men.
February 13, 2023
Most of this book wasn't revolutionary for me, but I still benefited from it. A few things that stood out. He talks about how all fathers fail, and that it is inevitable for the failures of fathers to effect their children. This is certainly humbling for me as a father, and a call to always be striving to be a better father, as my sins and failures, even if I am able to be, by anyone's standards, a "good father," will have an impact.
The other is how God put fatherhood in the world at such a deep level. It is right to see leaders in church and state as a type of father, and the 5th commandment require us to give them honor. Understanding this really helps understand the reason for scripture's teaching against women taking leadership roles in church and state.
The other is how God put fatherhood in the world at such a deep level. It is right to see leaders in church and state as a type of father, and the 5th commandment require us to give them honor. Understanding this really helps understand the reason for scripture's teaching against women taking leadership roles in church and state.
November 9, 2017
Pretty good. Some solid pastoral advice tinged with the Bayly edge. Probably 3 1/2 stars. I appreciated his insistence that we must press on in our duties in spite of the advanced knowledge of our inevitable failure as sinners. Abdication is no way forward. And of course we must also learn to forgive our fathers (as we have been forgiven).
February 26, 2018
This was a beautiful book about fatherhood and authority within and outside the home. I felt the weight of God's expectations of men, and I am more dependent on him than ever to fulfill my duties as a husband, future father, church elder, and even as a music director. I would recommend that every Christian read it.
January 12, 2026
Bayly leverages his life experience as a son, dad, grandfather, and pastor to give an overview of fatherhood that acknowledges the tragic effects of sin on fatherhood and the hope that fathers have in the Gospel of Jesus. This is a call for fathers to do the hard and good work that God has given us in all spheres of life, starting in the home but also including the church and the city.
July 12, 2017
While I don't agree with much of what the author says, I appreciate his candidness with his own life stories, and gleaned much helpful wisdom concerning fatherhood. Not the best book I've read on the subject, but there were golden nuggets that made it a worthwhile purchase.
January 14, 2018
God could have sent angels to be in authority over men in the spheres of church, state, and home; instead he delegated the authority and this important task to sinful men, to the praise of His glorious grace.
July 23, 2017
Not only is this book helpful and encouraging with what it has to say about Biblical fatherhood, Bayly's very approach is fatherly, both tough and tender. Highly recommend it.
January 8, 2018
- A Book About Christian Living.
- Great book on what it means to be a Christian father and to use the authority the God entrusted to fathers.
- Great book on what it means to be a Christian father and to use the authority the God entrusted to fathers.
March 14, 2018
Very pastoral and thus helpful. At times, I wished this were less anecdotal and more meaty. But as a father, I have been challenged.
January 15, 2019
Very good.
July 12, 2019
Bayly provides a great framework for thinking about fatherhood and masculinity. Short on practical application, though.
Read
September 15, 2019The book gives me an overall good impression of the author’s work as a minister and family counselor but poor impression of his ability to write books.
December 18, 2019
A gracious, yet firm call to do the hard work that Fatherhood calls us to. Father's are needed not just in the home, but also in the church and in the city.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews