What do you think?
Rate this book


320 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 4, 2016
this book was provided to me from the publisher in exchange for an honest review
”There’s how you look and there’s who you really are.”
Disclaimer 1: Thanks to NetGalley and Oceanview Publishing for the ARC, which I recieved in exchange for my honest review.
Disclaimer 2: This story is about a woman who is transgender, which is not a space I occupy. If anything I say in this review needs to be called out, discussed, or thought about from another angle, please let me know. There is an addendum at the end of this review that expands on this disclaimer more.
Disclaimers out of the way, let’s talk about this book!
Your general synopsis: Bobbi Logan is a seriously BAMF hairstylist working in Chicago and she is also transgender. We enter her life right around the time she purchases the hair salon she works at. The Great Recession is just hitting its “peak”, and a detective with a transphobic chip on his shoulder has made her the #1 suspect in a five-year-old murder case.
The story moved along at a good pace, never too rushed nor too slow. Most of the characters were far from two-dimensional and not a single one was perfect. Nor was anyone really explicitly evil, except for John Strand, the man Bobbi is being accused of killing.
Renee James’ writing was full of tenderness, feeling, and pain. There were multiple times throughout the story that Bobbi’s despair had me crying, her humour had me laughing, and her desires had me wishing her all that she wanted.
We hold each other for a long time, Betsy broken-hearted and lost, me guilty and inept. At moments like this, I'm overwhelmed by how much it somteimes hurts to have people you love in your life.
Renne James also did an amazing job of weaving themes throughout the story. With the character in question, it should come as no surprise to my review-readers that one of the centric themes is transitioning. In addition to Bobbi’s own discussed transition, there’s also a transition for each of the main characters as well as some of the side characters. Each one has their own “coming-of-age” moment that tie beautifully together with Bobbi’s story. By the end of the book, I regained a lot of hope I’ve been losing in humanity this past year.
Without giving too much away, I’ve seen from other reviewers that the ending wasn’t really what they were expecting, and not in a “that’s an awesome twist” sort of way. I’m inclined to agree, for a lot of the same reasons that they’ve raised. In an effort to prevent spoilers, let me just say that there are several characters in the novel that I wish we would have spent a good chunk of time with before the story ended.
4.5/5 Stars: 4.5 stars rounded up to 5. The story was a wonderful read I had a difficult time putting down. The ending came as a surprise in a not-so-good way, and really could have been better had certain characters been flushed out more prior.
Addendum: Hey all. I really wasn’t sure how I wanted to broach this subject, so I’ve decided to append it onto the end of this review as it is not relevant to the review in itself.
As I said in Disclaimer 2, being transgender is not a space I occupy. There are two more points I need to make off of this disclaimer. Number one is that if this is a space you occupy, the content of this story may be very triggering for you. Again, to avoid spoilers, at a glance you can expect a lot of gender dysphoria, transphobia, transmisogyny, and discussions about sexual assault where all the victims are trans*. If you would like more detailed content/trigger warnings, please feel free to message me for them.
Expanding off of that first point, for those of you that are cisgender, this book is very uncomfortable. This story is told mostly in first person, and is a very raw look into Bobbi’s life. Renee James’ does not sugarcoat a damn thing about how Bobbi is feeling. As an example, here is a conversation she has with a fellow transwoman she volunteer/works with:
"Don't say that. You're a proud, beautiful woman, Bobbi."
Yay rah. It's nice of her to say something encouraging, but this is strictly pro forma script in the trans world. Everyone is proud and beautiful. Lisa means well. She's here to save the wonderful people of transgenderland and some of them are somewhat between ugly and embarassing to look at. Being patient with us is part of being a savior.
Even though you will have every desire in the world to tell Bobbi “don’t play yourself like that”, remember that you can’t.
Again, I can’t stress enough that this isn’t a space I occupy, so I encourage, nay, insist, other cisgender readers remember the same. You don’t know what life is like in that space. Don’t try giving advice to people who occupy that space on how they should occupy it.
All of that being said, I do hope if you’ve taken the time to read this review that you’ll also take the time to read this book when you get the chance. Especially if this isn’t your space. Get uncomfy, friends. It’s how we grow.
She can see me as the woman I am to the very depths of my soul, but others will see me as a dickless man, and see anyone who loves me as some kind of pervert.