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The Disciple-Making Parent: A Comprehensive Guidebook for Raising Your Children to Love and Follow Jesus Christ
"Compelling and faithful to the gospel" -- Dr. Albert Mohler, President, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.
" A fantastic parenting book. Unique in a crowded genre." -- Tim Challies, Author and Blogger, Challies.com.
Your children will either live forever with Jesus or apart from him. Too many growing up in Christian homes will not follow Christ as adults. Do you have a strategy for parenting in today's hostile culture?
The Disciple-Making Parent will give you confidence in your journey.
In the Disciple-Making Parent you will
So comprehensive that I could remove all the parenting books I have and place only The Disciple-Making Parent on the shelf! -- Jackie Kendall , President, Power to Grow, Author, Lady in Waiting
"Chock full of biblical wisdom - you'll find yourself underlining line after line, page after page. -- Marty Machowski, Author, Long Story Short and The Gospel Story Bible .
" A fantastic parenting book. Unique in a crowded genre." -- Tim Challies, Author and Blogger, Challies.com.
Your children will either live forever with Jesus or apart from him. Too many growing up in Christian homes will not follow Christ as adults. Do you have a strategy for parenting in today's hostile culture?
The Disciple-Making Parent will give you confidence in your journey.
In the Disciple-Making Parent you will
So comprehensive that I could remove all the parenting books I have and place only The Disciple-Making Parent on the shelf! -- Jackie Kendall , President, Power to Grow, Author, Lady in Waiting
"Chock full of biblical wisdom - you'll find yourself underlining line after line, page after page. -- Marty Machowski, Author, Long Story Short and The Gospel Story Bible .
314 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2016
308 people are currently reading
676 people want to read
About the author
Chap Bettis
12 books9 followersChap Bettis is the author of The Disciple-Making Parent: A Guidebook for Raising Your Children to Love and Follow Jesus Christ. He is also a frequent conference speaker and executive director of The Apollos Project, a ministry dedicated to helping families pass the gospel to their children. For 25 years previous, he was lead pastor of a New England church plant. He and his wife, Sharon, have four children and reside in Rhode Island.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
January 2, 2025
It took me quite some time to finish this book but it wasn’t for lack of interest or quality of the book. Chap writes an extremely well rounded book centered on the parents role of raising their children in a Great Commission way. The book isn’t designed to go deep on a few areas but rather be a survey style book that is very practical, helpful, and made me think about and change the way I parent and the way I desire to parent. I will be keeping extra copies of this book to hand out to parents.
February 9, 2018
This is the book I wish I’d had when I first became a mom. It’s not really a book on practical strategies for parenting but rather focusing on aspects of discipleship that need to be priorities in our parenting. I really needed the reenergizing this perspective brought to my parenting, and it’s making me think through a lot of our challenges through the lens of disciple making. As I read, I gained more clarity in areas my mothering has resembled culture more than Christ. This would be excellent to discuss in a group setting, in my opinion, with other parents attempting to parent according to the same discipleship-oriented goals. Perhaps that would help bring out more practical ideas for implementing some of these things. I’ll end by saying that the author’s explanation (and analogy to basketball playbooks/coaching) in the very beginning, perhaps in the introduction, for how we are to approach parenting books and advice was EXCELLENT. It’s the warning that every parenting book should come with! We learn from others’ “plays” to gain more tools and ideas but not because those are the only and right parenting plays. Just as a coach will never coach his players to use every play they know in every game situation, learning the playbook is still valuable in case the situation presents a need for it. Similarly, every strategy that worked for someone else in parenting isn’t going to be one that’s right for me, but I can still learn from it and take great insights from a book that may not take my same views on everything. I wish I’d truly understood that principle a lot better earlier in my parenting.
October 9, 2021
I’d rate this in my top five parenting books to read and recommend—4.5 stars. I definitely will reread it once my kids are older and more of the discussed challenges apply and need to be considered biblically; not a waste to read even now though with a 3-year-old and a baby on the way.
I want to especially note that I read this immediately following completion of “Family Discipleship: Leading Your Family through Time, Moments, & Milestones.” It was unintentional, but I think that was a super helpful preface to this book, which dealt with more specific challenges in discipleship. I couldn’t use all the details from this book in my experience right now, but the framework of “Family Discipleship” kept this book relevant.
Several very helpful chapters in this book (i.e. communication, family devotions, prayer, doubts…), but a couple chapters (i.e. media) for which I’ll have to weigh the worth of his advice once my kids are older.
I want to especially note that I read this immediately following completion of “Family Discipleship: Leading Your Family through Time, Moments, & Milestones.” It was unintentional, but I think that was a super helpful preface to this book, which dealt with more specific challenges in discipleship. I couldn’t use all the details from this book in my experience right now, but the framework of “Family Discipleship” kept this book relevant.
Several very helpful chapters in this book (i.e. communication, family devotions, prayer, doubts…), but a couple chapters (i.e. media) for which I’ll have to weigh the worth of his advice once my kids are older.
March 25, 2017
Every parent wants the best for their children. We want to see them as well-behaved, productive members of society. We dream of them going to our alma maters, following their dreams and obtaining all that they ever wanted in life. We dream of having a close, loving relationship with them as we age. For parents of any religious faith, this also includes the desire to pass on our faith to them.
As Christians, we wonder how best to bring our children up "in the fear and admonition of the Lord" because we love them so much that we want to see them have the close relationship with God that guides our own lives and to have a future home in heaven. But how do we do that?
There are hundreds of parenting books out there that give hundreds of different answers for passing on faith, and many of them give great advice using the usual prooftexts from the Bible on parenting. Chap Bettis argues that, while these ideas are great, that these texts miss the point of parenting. In that vein, he says that the most important passage on parenting is Matthew 28:18-20. From his view, the way that we parent should be to always attempt to disciple our children, just as we would any other disciple that we mentor.
After laying out his initial premise, Bettis goes through a whole slew of topics to both explain his point and to provide practical help for parents who are right in the thick of parenting. These chapters can be uneven and provide many lists in them of things to do. To tell the truth, each of these lists could almost be expanded into a whole book of its own. It's an overwhelming book, and I often felt like I was "drinking from a fire hose."
I also found that in the plethora of information, I would have liked more practical application and examples. This is not the most practical parenting book that you will read. Bettis is huge on ideas and ideology, but he often does not come in with practical examples of how to bring his lists into your parenting.
However, in the end I decided to give this book five stars because of the deep conviction and understandings that I had gleaned from it. The portions on parenting as a pharisee and on indwelling sin (a topic that inspired me to a blog post) were worth the price of the entire book for me.
I also truly appreciated his address of Timothy, and his explanation of the "two-fold" conversion that we see of children who grow up in the faith. They may make a faith commitment when young, but they only later come to an understanding and confirmation of their path. Contemplating this and his exegesis of Timothy's upbringing, gave me a great sense of peace in the paths that my children are taking as they begin making baby steps toward Jesus.
There's a lot of good stuff here, and it's definitely a parenting book worth the time it takes to read it. It's also probably a book that would be an excellent one to keep around to refer to when you need a little inspiration on what it truly means to disciple your parent. It's a good work that parents are doing, and it's a wearying work, so this one belongs on your shelf to help keep you on the path.
As Christians, we wonder how best to bring our children up "in the fear and admonition of the Lord" because we love them so much that we want to see them have the close relationship with God that guides our own lives and to have a future home in heaven. But how do we do that?
There are hundreds of parenting books out there that give hundreds of different answers for passing on faith, and many of them give great advice using the usual prooftexts from the Bible on parenting. Chap Bettis argues that, while these ideas are great, that these texts miss the point of parenting. In that vein, he says that the most important passage on parenting is Matthew 28:18-20. From his view, the way that we parent should be to always attempt to disciple our children, just as we would any other disciple that we mentor.
After laying out his initial premise, Bettis goes through a whole slew of topics to both explain his point and to provide practical help for parents who are right in the thick of parenting. These chapters can be uneven and provide many lists in them of things to do. To tell the truth, each of these lists could almost be expanded into a whole book of its own. It's an overwhelming book, and I often felt like I was "drinking from a fire hose."
I also found that in the plethora of information, I would have liked more practical application and examples. This is not the most practical parenting book that you will read. Bettis is huge on ideas and ideology, but he often does not come in with practical examples of how to bring his lists into your parenting.
However, in the end I decided to give this book five stars because of the deep conviction and understandings that I had gleaned from it. The portions on parenting as a pharisee and on indwelling sin (a topic that inspired me to a blog post) were worth the price of the entire book for me.
I also truly appreciated his address of Timothy, and his explanation of the "two-fold" conversion that we see of children who grow up in the faith. They may make a faith commitment when young, but they only later come to an understanding and confirmation of their path. Contemplating this and his exegesis of Timothy's upbringing, gave me a great sense of peace in the paths that my children are taking as they begin making baby steps toward Jesus.
There's a lot of good stuff here, and it's definitely a parenting book worth the time it takes to read it. It's also probably a book that would be an excellent one to keep around to refer to when you need a little inspiration on what it truly means to disciple your parent. It's a good work that parents are doing, and it's a wearying work, so this one belongs on your shelf to help keep you on the path.
March 16, 2022
Likes
1. The author uses lots of real life examples and scripture references to back up his assertions.
2. The author clearly explains the purpose and reasoning behind why something should be part of the discipleship process and backs it up with scripture as needed.
3. The author has convinced me of the merits why I should disciple my children even at their young ages and has taught me that young children can have an authentic profession of faith, that I should not wait until they become teenagers or young adults before encouraging them.
4. The author addresses very timely modern issues such as screen time, media usage, societal pressures, and the like.
5. The author ends each chapter with a Discipleship Principle followed by things to think about.
Dislikes
1. Discipline methodology: whether to reward, institute punitive consequences, corporal punishment, or attempt some other alternative strategy, is an integral part of a parent’s ability to raise children, for better or for worse. However, the author completely dodges the responsibility of discussing it in the book, stating that “it’s beyond the book’s scope”. I would venture to say that it is one of the most crucial topics in making disciples out of children. Big let down.
2. As the author describes his discipleship process, it is clear that it is most closely aligned with the Authoritative model of parenting frequently talked about in other parenting books. Furthermore, the author regularly contrasts the model from the other two: Permissive and Authoritarian, yet he never actually uses the model’s language. His approach might be made more clear if he did.
3. The author seems to have a somewhat cynical view of Christian men/husbands and makes many mentions of how women/wives need to get their spouses on board as if there’s a gender gap between devotion to Christian tenets.
4. The author commits a lot of time trying to convince the reader to commit to Christianity practices such as prayer and fellowship as if the Christian reader needs to be persuaded.
1. The author uses lots of real life examples and scripture references to back up his assertions.
2. The author clearly explains the purpose and reasoning behind why something should be part of the discipleship process and backs it up with scripture as needed.
3. The author has convinced me of the merits why I should disciple my children even at their young ages and has taught me that young children can have an authentic profession of faith, that I should not wait until they become teenagers or young adults before encouraging them.
4. The author addresses very timely modern issues such as screen time, media usage, societal pressures, and the like.
5. The author ends each chapter with a Discipleship Principle followed by things to think about.
Dislikes
1. Discipline methodology: whether to reward, institute punitive consequences, corporal punishment, or attempt some other alternative strategy, is an integral part of a parent’s ability to raise children, for better or for worse. However, the author completely dodges the responsibility of discussing it in the book, stating that “it’s beyond the book’s scope”. I would venture to say that it is one of the most crucial topics in making disciples out of children. Big let down.
2. As the author describes his discipleship process, it is clear that it is most closely aligned with the Authoritative model of parenting frequently talked about in other parenting books. Furthermore, the author regularly contrasts the model from the other two: Permissive and Authoritarian, yet he never actually uses the model’s language. His approach might be made more clear if he did.
3. The author seems to have a somewhat cynical view of Christian men/husbands and makes many mentions of how women/wives need to get their spouses on board as if there’s a gender gap between devotion to Christian tenets.
4. The author commits a lot of time trying to convince the reader to commit to Christianity practices such as prayer and fellowship as if the Christian reader needs to be persuaded.
September 29, 2020
I am very thankful to have read this book. There were a couple of points that I felt weren't communicated very clearly, but on the whole, I was challenged and encouraged. Would recommend!
November 20, 2025
This audiobook is given away for free to anyone who emails admin@theapollosproject.com with the subject "Send me instructions on how to get the free audiobook!" They just want to know your first name and US state or country.
Go get it! So worth it!
This book seemed like the best parts from other parenting books I've read, plus more.
Just a few of the things I appreciate:
--High, strong call to disciple our children, while always reiterating that the Lord does the main work
--Gentle and compassionate speaking to single mothers, or those whose husbands are not following the Lord. The example of Timothy and his mother is powerful!
--Clear principles (like sharing the Word with your children) with many examples of how to do it, but no one method held up as the only way
Each time I listened, God used this book to turn my heart to prayer, convict me of sinful thoughts or attitudes, and increase my love for the Lord and my children.
Go get it! So worth it!
This book seemed like the best parts from other parenting books I've read, plus more.
Just a few of the things I appreciate:
--High, strong call to disciple our children, while always reiterating that the Lord does the main work
--Gentle and compassionate speaking to single mothers, or those whose husbands are not following the Lord. The example of Timothy and his mother is powerful!
--Clear principles (like sharing the Word with your children) with many examples of how to do it, but no one method held up as the only way
Each time I listened, God used this book to turn my heart to prayer, convict me of sinful thoughts or attitudes, and increase my love for the Lord and my children.
September 25, 2019
Great discipleship handbook
This is a good comprehensive handbook for discipling our children. Lots of biblical insight and practical tips with engaging anecdotes to keep things interesting. I appreciated the gospel centrality and the focus on reaching our children’s hearts. The chapter on helping our kids work through their doubts was relevant and helpful to me at this state in my parenting.
I felt like it went on about 50-100 pages too long. Many of the later chapters were either superfluous or could have been condensed or combined with others. Sometimes I felt like he was repeating ideas, occasionally even using the same quotation twice, and by the end I was seeing lengthy block quotes as if he was trying really hard to reach his 10 page quota for each chapter. A minor quibble in the grand scheme of things though.
This is a good comprehensive handbook for discipling our children. Lots of biblical insight and practical tips with engaging anecdotes to keep things interesting. I appreciated the gospel centrality and the focus on reaching our children’s hearts. The chapter on helping our kids work through their doubts was relevant and helpful to me at this state in my parenting.
I felt like it went on about 50-100 pages too long. Many of the later chapters were either superfluous or could have been condensed or combined with others. Sometimes I felt like he was repeating ideas, occasionally even using the same quotation twice, and by the end I was seeing lengthy block quotes as if he was trying really hard to reach his 10 page quota for each chapter. A minor quibble in the grand scheme of things though.
March 14, 2023
Excellent, encouraging, fully Biblical resource. I appreciated the author’s insistence that his book is a playbook, not a cookbook: there are many suggestions of things we could be doing as we parent our children, but the author expects parents to choose the suggestions that are most needed in their situation, not to follow all of them at once. He also gives wise counsel and encouragement to single parents and parents whose spouses are less motivated spiritually. So even though a book like this could be really overwhelming, especially to someone like me, the author’s kind and encouraging words are a great help, and his confidence in the Holy Spirit’s ability to guide as us we parent is a great encouragement. For parents who are feeling inadequate, the author reminds us that our inadequacy is our greatest weapon: when we are weak, then we are strong.
September 5, 2021
This didn't contain much that was extremely insightful, but it was still very helpful. These are things you have to hear over and over again, and this author compiled so much good information. I loved the tone of the book, as it was very gracious and loving, not judgmental, and he was clear that it wasn't a formula that guaranteed success. There were many helpful analogies and some really good insights as well. The one I think I liked the most was that consistency was vital and led to profound moments. Not every moment is deep and meaningful, but if you are consistent, those moments will occur.
March 13, 2018
Many people have given this book a very positive review which is why my wife and I chose to read it. There were a few chapters that provided helpful insights, but most chapters seemed more concerned with quoting reformed theologians than with the nuts and bolts of discipling children. The best and most useful chapters were those that contained no such quotes. We are convinced that disciple-making is the primary responsibility of parents and were looking forward to a resource we could give our children on the subject. This book won't be it.
December 16, 2023
I haven’t really liked any parenting books I have read in the past. One in particular, that comes highly recommended, only made me feel discouraged as it essentially said that if you didn’t read and implement their strategies when your kids were younger, welp, sucks to be you. Too late now!
This book, although I wouldn’t call it a traditional “parenting book,” I already want to reread and to give a copy not just to every parent, but to every person who has an influence in kids’ lives… so pretty much everyone!
I’m so thankful and encouraged!
This book, although I wouldn’t call it a traditional “parenting book,” I already want to reread and to give a copy not just to every parent, but to every person who has an influence in kids’ lives… so pretty much everyone!
I’m so thankful and encouraged!
May 21, 2017
This is a fantastic resource for many of "first generation" Christian parents. Despite the didactic title it's really a helpful guide for those of us looking to help our kids in their connection to God through discipleship and spiritual disciplines. I will return to it again and again as the seasons of our parenting change as there's good encouragement and wisdom in here for parents in every stage of the game.
June 1, 2019
A book for everyone involved with children
There is so much here. It was a thorough treatment of discipling children. Not just teaching and enforcing rules, but bringing your child along as you grow in the faith as well.
It isn't a list to check off as you try to make your kids come out right. Instead it is precepts to put into practice as followers of Christ bringing along any disciple.
It was very convicting, and I will be referring back to it.
There is so much here. It was a thorough treatment of discipling children. Not just teaching and enforcing rules, but bringing your child along as you grow in the faith as well.
It isn't a list to check off as you try to make your kids come out right. Instead it is precepts to put into practice as followers of Christ bringing along any disciple.
It was very convicting, and I will be referring back to it.
September 5, 2021
This was a good, biblical and practical guide for Christian parents and how they must take their children's faith seriously as they raise them, yet a reminder that it is God Who calls and gives faith, we just send out His Word and trust that He says it will not return void. It would be especially helpful to new Christians who didn't grow up in a Christian home, as they consider how to parent their children.
July 24, 2025
Bettis offers parents a rich, comprehensive guide to disciple-making with their own children. He offers no promises, as each person must decide to follow or abandon the godly teaching he has received. But he calls parents to faithfully pastoring their family. The book is developed for all stages of parenting but assumes an intentional commitment to Christ in his readers. Challenging, encouraging, and heart-capturing.
June 18, 2020
This. Book. Was. Great! It is littered with encouragement but lined with biblical truth all throughout it’s pages. This is definitely not a book that you just read and put back on a shelf. It is a book that you go back to for different seasons. Reading this not only helpful for parents, but those who work in ministry or followers of Jesus who want to deepen their walk.
Read
September 3, 2020Seeing parenting as discipleship is the main premise of this book and it’s a paradigm shift that I need to embrace more often. Bettis basically lays out the discipleship manual for parents. It can feel a little too broad sweeping at times but he does an effective job at laying out a road map for discipling your children.
July 24, 2025
I listened to this audio book over several months. It was filled with helpful principles for parents seeking to disciple their children well. Each chapter ended with reflection questions. I would recommend it to other parents and think it would be a helpful book to have on the bookshelf for reference.
September 24, 2017
A very helpful book in understanding how to be intentional in displaying Christ to your kids. The book is very balanced and understanding of every parents failures. I would highly recommend this book, I'd say it's in my top five for parenting.
April 28, 2020
One stop shop as a discipleship book
Practical and thorough all the way through. Gave numerous ways to think about how to disciple kids of all ages. This is a crash course on “train your child up in the way they should go...”
Practical and thorough all the way through. Gave numerous ways to think about how to disciple kids of all ages. This is a crash course on “train your child up in the way they should go...”
September 16, 2020
Excellent book on Christian parenting and likely one of the best currently on the subject. I highly recommend it to every Christian parent and I will be giving this book to every Christian parent in the church where I oversee children's ministry.
May 5, 2025
3.5. The main strength of the book is it covers a lot of topics related to parenting and gets you thinking about them biblically. The main weakness is it doesn’t go super deep on any of those topics and is often not precise in handling the biblical data related to them.
December 24, 2025
This was a top read for me this year. I really enjoyed how the book was laid out. I'd highly recommend this as a gift for parents with children of all ages. I will definitely keep this on my shelf, and reference it often.
June 19, 2017
Many good parenting gems in this one.
June 28, 2017
By far, the best book on Christian parenting I've read. Staunchly biblical and full of practical wisdom. A book I will refer to continually.
October 18, 2017
This is no Dobson book. It's 10 times better. It's exactly what the title describes, comprehensive. I will recommend it to any Christian parent. I will be keeping it as a reference forever.
November 20, 2018
This is the best parenting book I’ve ever read. It’s the kind of book you can and maybe should read a few times in your life. It’s sobering, convicting, and encouraging all at the same time.
February 7, 2019
Christian mom.
This is an amazing book ! I would recommend every parent who has given up hope on parenting to read this.god is able to and will do it.
This is an amazing book ! I would recommend every parent who has given up hope on parenting to read this.god is able to and will do it.
February 10, 2019
Single best parenting book
This book changed our lives as parents. I recommend this book to everyone and gift it to those I love.
This book changed our lives as parents. I recommend this book to everyone and gift it to those I love.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews