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Honour Killing: Stories of Men Who Killed

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Honour killing persists across the Middle East, where regimes refrain from tackling primitive traditions for fear of sparking unrest.

Ayse Onal interviewed imprisoned men in Turkey convicted of killing their mothers, sisters and daughters. The result is a revealing and ultimately tragic account of ruined lives – both the victims’ and the killers’ – in a country where state and religion conspire to hush up the killing of hundreds of women every year.

Ayse Onal has won many awards for her work as a journalist, including the Courage in Journalism Award, and has reported on Turkish politics, organised crime and conflicts in the Middle East. She has been blacklisted by the government, threatened by Islamic fundamentalists, placed on death lists, arrested and shot. She lives in Istanbul.

256 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2008

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Ayşe Önal

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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
Profile Image for ↠Ameerah↞.
211 reviews130 followers
December 7, 2020
Honour Killing is a collection of 10 interviews of men convicted of murder in what is known as an honour killing. 

These stories are chilling. They shook me to my core and left me feeling numb. The concept of honour killing is one that is often ascribed to Islaam, especially by the media, despite it being the antithesis of core Islamic teachings and values. In actuality, as this book demonstrates, it is a deeply rooted cultural practice that hides behind the veil of religiosity. 

There is a recurring theme of patriarchy and misogyny inflamed by a sense of false piety, that many of these men possess. To understand their mentality and reasoning, I think it is important to recognise that they don't just wake up one day with a sudden intent to kill their family. From these stories and many others, it is evident that the process of getting to that point of no return starts slow and very young. 

It starts with the belief that having a female child is a punishment and unworthy. It starts with the indoctrination that girls are subordinate to their brothers and do not deserve an education because it is pointless. It starts with parents raising their daughters to carry the heavy burden of the family honour, whilst sons are given limitless freedom. It starts with girls being taught that the only thing they should aspire to be are housewives because a virtuous woman belongs at home. It starts with boys being forced to suppress emotions and feelings because of toxic masculinity. It starts by raising daughters to believe their only value is in their hymen. It starts when a man is only considered as such from his ability to keep his womenfolk in check. It starts when the fear of neighbourhood gossip becomes harder to bear than the loss of your family and freedom.

How do you undo generations of patriarchal teachings and tradition? How do you bring about change in societies where the belief that women are subservient creatures is so deeply ingrained? I honestly don't have all the answers but I do know that there is a lot of work to be done and it begins in our homes.
Profile Image for Maria Bikaki.
876 reviews510 followers
October 23, 2015
ΣΟΚ,ΣΟΚ,ΣΟΚ
Νομίζω ότι αυτή είναι η κατάλληλη λέξη για να περιγράψω τα συναισθήματα μου διαβάζοντας το συγκεκριμένο βιβλίο. Ξέρετε για έναν άνθρωπο σαν και εμένα που θεωρώ την Τουρκία δεύτερο τόπο μου και τους Τούρκους φίλους μου δεύτερη οικογένεια μου πραγματικά το να διαβάζω ένα τέτοιο βιβλίο δεν αποτελεί την πιο ευχάριστη ανάγνωση. Έχοντας κατά κύριο λόγο ζήσει την όμορφη πλευρά αυτής της χώρας στις φορές που την έχω επισκεφτεί καθώς και την ευγένεια και την καλοσύνη των ανθρώπων της αυτή η εικόνα της άλλης Τουρκίας με συγκλονίζει και με στενοχωρεί. Δεν ανακάλυψα την πυρίτιδα μέσω αυτού του βιβλίου σε καμία περίπτωση. Επειδή άλλωστε και λόγω επαγγέλματος μελετώ την φυσιογνωμία διαφόρων χωρών και αυτή η «άλλη» εικόνα ήταν ήδη γνωστή στα μάτια μου απλά μέσα σου εύχεσαι να είναι προϊόν υπερβολής. Και όμως από ότι φαίνεται δεν είναι έτσι τα πράγματα και εν έτη 2015 εγκλήματα τιμής συνεχίζουν να συγκλονίζουν την γείτονα χώρα και αποτελούν κοινό μυστικό καλά κρυμμένο στα κατά τ’ άλλα ήσυχα νερά του πανέμορφου Βοσπόρου. Δάκρυα, θλίψη, πόνος για όλα εκείνα τα αθώα κορίτσια που βρίσκουν καθημερινά σχεδόν τραγικό θάνατο, θύματα μιας βάρβαρης κουλτούρας και θρησκείας στο όνομα της τιμής. Όπως πολύ εύστοχα αναφέρεται στο οπισθόφυλλο του βιβλίου η τιμή είναι ο δολοφόνος και ο κοινωνικός περίγυρος ο ηθικός αυτουργός που επιβραβεύει το έγκλημα στο όνομα αυτής της τιμής. Το βιβλίο αυτό αποτελεί μια ανατομία-σκιαγράφηση σε αυτή την βίαιη παράδοση που εμμένει πεισματικά στη σύγχρονη Τουρκία με τα παλάτια, τα πολυκαταστήματα τα σίριαλ που αποτελούν προϊόν εξαγωγής σε ολόκληρο πλέον τον κόσμο.
Φρίκη, αποτροπιασμός και ένας αβάσταχτος πόνος για κείνες τις γυναίκες που πέφτουν θύματα κακοποίησης ή και θανάτου στις περισσότερες των περιπτώσεων από τις ίδιες τους τις οικογένειες επειδή τόλμησαν να διεκδικήσουν ένα διαφορετικό τρόπο ζωής, επειδή άκουσον άκουσον τόλμησαν να αρνηθούν ηλικιωμένους για άντρες τους στην πιο τρυφερή τους ηλικία, επειδή δε διάβαζαν το κοράνι ολημερίς και ολονυχτίς ή επειδή φόρεσαν φούστα και φάνηκε ο αστράγαλος. Συνένοχος μια ολόκληρη κοινωνία που ανάβει το φυτίλι της βίας και της κακοποίησης. Ενδεικτικά σας αναφέρω την μία εκ των ιστοριών που περιγράφονται στο βιβλίο. Αυτή της Νουράν. Η Νουράν ήταν ένα κορίτσι που αποφάσισε να αντισταθεί στις αντιλήψεις του πατέρα της και έφυγε από το σπίτι. Στον σταθμό των υπεραστικών λεωφορείων συνάντησε έναν νεαρό που προσφέρθηκε να τη βοηθήσει να πάρει το λεωφορείο για άλλη πόλη, το Βαν. Αυτός την παρέσυρε σε μια αποθήκη και τη βίασε κατ΄ επανάληψη. Η Νουράν επέστρεψε στο σπίτι της σε άθλια κατάσταση και εκεί αποφασίστηκε η μοίρα της. Η μοίρα των άτυχων κοριτσιών συνήθως αποφασίζεται σε οικογενειακά συμβούλια. Όταν λέμε αποφασίζεται η μοίρα φυσικά ο τρόπος θανάτου και από ποιον. Επειτα από οικογενειακό συμβούλιο λοιπόν ο πατέρας της την καταδίκασε σε θάνατο. Την ποινή την εκτέλεσε ο ίδιος, πνίγοντας τη δύστυχη μικρή με ένα καλώδιο, για να «αποκαταστήσει την τιμή της οικογένειας»!!!!!!!!!!. Σε άλλη ιστορία έθαψαν ζωντανή μια κοπέλα επειδή τόλμησε να βαφτεί!!!!!!!!!!!!
Μα δεν είναι απίστευτο πραγματικά η μοίρα αθώων κοριτσιών να καθορίζεται από άγραφους νόμους και η ηθική και η τιμή να ταυτίζονται με το θάνατο? Στα αλήθεια δεν το χωράει ο νους μου ότι μια ολόκληρη κοινωνία αντί να προωθεί τη μόρφωση, την παιδεία, την ειρήνη δημιουργεί δολοφόνους και το πνεύμα του άγραφου μουσουλμανικού νόμου παραμένει ζωντανό στα βάθη της Τουρκίας και όχι μόνο γιατί όπως θα διαπιστώσει κανείς και μέσα από τις σελίδες του βιβλίου δεν είναι λίγοι εκείνοι που μεταφέρουν το πνεύμα τους και στις δυτικές κοινωνίες που ζουν θεωρώντας ότι με τη συμπεριφορά τους τιμούν τον πολιτισμό τους γιατί ναι για κάποιους σωστός μουσουλμάνος είναι να δέρνεις, να βαράς, να σκοτώνεις.
Σκεφτείτε τι καθεστώς και σκοταδισμός επικρατεί που οι δολοφόνοι αυτών των κοριτσιών θεωρούνται ήρωες ενώ η ίδια η συγγραφέας του βιβλίου που με θάρρος παρουσίασε αντιμετωπίστηκε ως παράσιτο και κακοπροαίρετη. Της απαγορεύτηκε να εργαστεί σε εφημερίδες συνελήφθη, έγιναν απόπειρες δολοφονίες εναντίον της απλά επειδή τόλμησε να έρθει σε αντιπαράθεση με αυτή την άρρωστη φιλοσοφία που μαστίζει μια ολόκληρη χώρα. Το αποτέλεσμα του έργου της μπορεί να ναι σοκαριστικό αλλά συνάμα ελπιδοφόρο για μια γυναίκα που τόλμησε να υψώσει τη φωνή της και πάνω σε αυτό στηρίζω και τη βαθμολογία μου . Μακάρι να έρθει εκείνη η μέρα που αυτές οι φωνές θα ναι πιο δυνατές και η υπάρχουσα κατάσταση θα φαντάζει μακρινός εφιάλτης.

Profile Image for Trupti Dorge.
410 reviews27 followers
March 23, 2010
In honour killing, the victims are not only those who are killed, but also those who killed. Ayse Onal takes us into the lives of the men who committed these killings. So in a way its behind the scenes and into the psyche of those who thought such drastic measures were required to protect their honour.

The first story takes us into the life of a girl called Remziye who wanted to escape the life she saw her mother living. She didn’t want to be someone whose only purpose was to serve her husband. A boy called Ismael provided a opportunity to live a life she wanted and they both gradually fell in love with each other. But her marriage was already fixed to someone else and to escape from it she ran away with Ismael. After years of hiding from her family who had decided to kill her, she finally escaped to Austria. Hers is the only story in this book which does not end with her death.

Contrary to what I thought, the men in the family who killed do have a conscience and most do repent killing. They see it as a choice they do not have. After reading many stories like these I think I have a broader picture now. It’s not only the men but also women who seem to think that killing is the only option. In Remziye’s story, when her family decided to kill her, Remziye heard her mother say,”Whatever you do, don’t kill them in the house. There’ll be the bother of getting rid of the bodies. Shoot them among the trees and then dump the bodies somewhere“.

Killing somebody for protecting the honour does not only end the life of the one who is killed but also affects the life of those who are left behind and the ones behind bars. All the stories in this book were chilling and sad and although all the stories are set in Turkey there are similar ones happening all over the world.

In one of the stories, Murat killed his mother because she was having an affair with another man. He killed her because he couldn’t take people talking behind his back anymore, he couldn’t take the shame and the humiliation anymore. When he spoke to Ayse Onal from his prison he said,

As long as the mentality doesn’t change, no matter how severe the penalties – and the new penal laws are very severe – no matter how heavy the sanctions, this kind of thing will carry on. Because the person who does it has no idea of the terrible loneliness and the personal tragedy he will face afterwards. The only thought in his head is his belief that once he has done it, everyone around him will accept that his honour has been cleansed.

People who are faced with this kind of problem should consider it very carefully. You too die with the person you kill. She is sure to appear before your eyes every time you lie in your bed. This is an eternal punishment. In other words, you will have hanged yourself with your own hands.

It is not a solution and it does not address the underlying problem, but it will definitely help to decrease the number of women who are killed in the name of honour. It’s definitely a start. One step at a time. I recommend this book to everyone out there and really hope that more awareness is created.

First posted at http://violetcrush.wordpress.com/2010...
Profile Image for Fadillah.
830 reviews51 followers
March 13, 2016
I never imagine that this kind of things happened in turkey. I was under the impression that turkey is one of the most liberal country among other muslim countries. If this happened in pakistan and afghanistan, i am not surprised at all considering i have read many cases of honor killings in the mentioned countries before this. Ayse Onal did a good job by interviewing those killers : no bias detected and only facts can be retrieved in the book. I cried for those poor girls who wanted to choose their own man, feel the freedom and follow their own heart. Unfortunately, in the repressive culture and religion, those thing is considered sinful and any girl who did it is considered not pure anymore. Rather than forgive and forget the girl mistake and sin, they killed her to clean the family's name and honor. Who is the real killer in this story? Honor. For the sake of honor, they forget that the true islamic teaching insisted on forgiving. For the sake of honor, they abandoned the principle of protecting their family member not killing them. For the sake of honor, they turned the blind eyes on the girl and did not find the truth and rather listened to neighborhood gossips. For the sake of honor, they killed an innocent lives even it is their own daughters and felt proud of their action.
Profile Image for Leyla Amur.
17 reviews
April 29, 2018
This is a must-read in understanding the way in which honor killings are a societal problem, not an individual one such as domestic violence. Through a series of interviews with men who have committed honor killings in Turkey, the author explores how honor killings affect those who have committed the crimes and, how the offenders are not often accepted back into their community even though they were coerced to commit the crime.
Profile Image for Christina Katsaromitsou.
4 reviews1 follower
September 22, 2021
Πίστευα ότι αυτό το βιβλίο θα καταφέρω να το τελειώσω σε μια- δύο μέρες. Η γραφή ήταν εύκολη και κυλούσε σαν νερό. Ωστόσο όταν έφτανα στο τέλος κάθε ιστορίας ήμουν πολύ νευριασμένη για να συνεχίσω στις υπόλοιπες. Νευριασμένη με τους άντρες που διέπραξαν αυτά τα εγκλήματα " τιμής" αλλά και με τη κοινωνία που τα αποζητούσε. Ένα βιβλίο γραμμένο για τις δολοφονημένες αδερφές μας...
Profile Image for Lucy Brittain.
172 reviews2 followers
August 22, 2020
At the begining this book was easily a 4* but the further I got into it the more bored I got, the writer attempted to stretch out the book to far more pages than necessary. I found the translations very hit and miss and often very important information was not translated. I think I'm being generous by rating this 2 stars. it wasnt the best book I have ever read but it wasnt the worst either
196 reviews8 followers
September 19, 2010
Brilliant, brave, appalling, hard to read more than a chapter at a time.
Onal is a Turkish woman journalist who interviewed men imprisoned for the crime of having murdered a woman family member - sister, daughter, etc for "dishonoring" her family by real or imagined sexual transgressions, or even for disobeying the family, thereby "shaming" them. Even in the modern world this crime is far more common than one would guess and not taken as seriously by authorities as it should be. Not dissimilar to ignoring women's reports or rape in the US and in Europe.
Profile Image for Esra.
173 reviews25 followers
August 25, 2016
Ayşe Önal'ın cezaevlerini dolaşıp ailesinden birini annesini, eşini ya da kız kardeşini öldüren mahkumlarla yaptığı söyleşiler. çoğunlukla kendileri gidip teslim olmuş, kaderlerine razı olmuşlar. Anafikir başka bir yol yoktu; ille öldürüp şeref korumak ve namus temizlemek lazımdır demişler. Hemen hepsi etrafın baskısıyla hareket etmiş sonra da kaderine terk edilmiş. Hiçbiri kadını bitey olarak görmüyor; kendini kadından sorumlu tutuyor.
1 review
February 6, 2017
Excellent

A very good read that gives you an understanding of why these men do such awful crimes,so very sad for all involved
Profile Image for Tatiana Delendik.
40 reviews1 follower
July 25, 2011
I'ts a good book which I read on my friend's advice. I was absolutely unaware of all these things going on in Turkey.. Now I found out that honour killing is actually a very big issue in muslim countries..You can't help but wonder how cruel people are.. My brain refuses to digest it!
Profile Image for Jenni.
17 reviews
Want to read
May 7, 2010
I am so excited to read this book!! It is next in line on my long list of books to read. I hope it lives up to my hopes.
Profile Image for Eleni Leontiou.
20 reviews2 followers
August 28, 2012
I can't explain to everyone just how important it is that you read this book.I only wish you would all read it!
Profile Image for Rob Tripp.
Author 1 book8 followers
January 14, 2013
A compelling digest of honour crime cases, told with spartan prose and based on remarkable access to perpetrators. Fine journalism.
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