Reset: Living a Grace-Paced Life in a Burnout Culture

Grace-Paced Life

by David P. Murray

Largely due to overwork and the stresses of modern life, men in work and ministry are increasingly run-down, anxious, and depressed. But is this level of physical and spiritual weariness inevitable? Just as a car needs to be regularly refueled, retuned, and repaired in order to keep running, a balanced life can be sustained only when a man takes proper steps to stay on track. In this hopeful book, experienced pastor and counselor David Murray shares stories from his own life and the lives of friends, offering gospel-centered advice for avoiding, assessing, and recovering from burnout. With chapters on rest, relationships, routines, and more, this book lays out a host of practical remedies men can use to reset their lives on a more sustainable course--resulting in renewed energy, joy, and purpose.

Genres: Christian Living, Christian, Nonfiction, Leadership, Theology, Audiobook, Productivity

208 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2017

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

David P. Murray is Professor of Old Testament and Practical Theology at Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary. He was born in Glasgow, Scotland, and worked for five years in financial services before being converted to Christ. He studied for the ministry at Glasgow University and the Free Church of Scotland College (Edinburgh). He was a pastor for 12 years, first at Lochcarron Free Church of Scotland and then at Stornoway Free Church of Scotland (Continuing). From 2002 to 2007, he was Lecturer in Hebrew and Old Testament at the Free Church Seminary in Inverness. He has a Doctor of Ministry degree from Reformation International Theological Seminary for his work relating Old Testament Introduction studies to the pastoral ministry. He and his wife, Shona, have four children: Allan, Angus, Joni, and Amy. He also blogs at Head Heart Hand.

Reviews

[Kate Hacker · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book addresses the widespread problem of burnout, but particularly focuses on Christian men and pastors specifically. Despite not being in the target audience I found many of his points universally relevant (though he and his wife have written an equivalent book for women).

Slight critiques: he covers many topics (stress, technology use, mental health, poor eating and sleeping habits, stretching ourselves too thin) that have all individually been better addressed in other books (such as "Eat, Move, Sleep", "Essentialism", and "The Tech Wise Family" to name a few), and those books also manage to be very effective to a wider audience than just men. That said, for busy Christian leaders and especially pastors who may not take time to read all the other books on these topics, this does provide a one-book summary with helpful guidance and pointers.

I think this book really does highlight a particular area of weakness for Christian leaders. So often the way Christians live their lives, physical health and rest sit very low on their list of priorities, but those things are what help fuel a long life of faithfully running the race. We mustn't think of ourselves as God in that we can somehow ignore the human limits God has given us. This book is a good reminder of how to be aware of those limits and seek out God's many graces for our day to day lives. It's also a good call to trust Him with all the things we cannot do.

[Gus Crotty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Self care in ministry seems to be widely overlooked, often due to the urgency of the task at hand. This book tackles this issue, giving great amounts of simple and practice advice to slow our lives down to a reasonable speed, to live a ‘Grace paced’ life. While this book is aimed more at working, burnt out ministers, it equally applies to all walks of life or vocations. Preventative reading is also beneficial. You don’t need to be first stuck in a rut to learn how to get out of one.

Slowing down in a culture of go go go, in my experience, can often lead to guilt in rest. I remember this past summer. Not needing to work or do any school, I enjoyed my time with friends and family, doing nothing. I haven’t felt that guilty in a while, beating myself up for not taking class or getting a job or volunteering more etc. Rest is a gift from God. It is literally a commandment. Why don’t we take that more seriously?

Resets often happen in seasons of change. I’m recommending this book to my father as he transitions into retirement this coming May. I know I’ve caught myself waiting for a new season to enact change, change often focused on a ‘better way of living’ or a ‘more focused self care routine.’ An encouragement this book highlights without saying directly: ‘Why not now?’

[John Uit de Flesch · Rating 5 out of 5]

“So much of our drivenness stems from a false belief in a driven God, a view of God as a slaveholder, and harsh taskmaster who can never be satisfied by anything less than his people being in a perpetual state of miserable exhaustion.” While this is probably not a conscious explained thought, it does exist in the subconscious. The most spiritual people leave it all on the field and burn out for God.

Reset is a book that helps restore humanity to those trying to be machines for Jesus. The “do more always” mentality will eventually fail one way or another, but what happens next? David steps in to repair and restore broken, worn out people.

The book is an excellent overview of the path out. His repair bays are nicely categorized and he doesn’t go too deep to bore. Each section has clear steps to take. However, this is not just a manual of 7 steps. Along the way he teaches theology and mentality to adjust our mindset. Thinking lucidly and Biblically will give rest to our minds and souls. He excels here too.

I found this book better than other comparable titles. It will help you...if you listen and take heed.

[Larissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leitura obrigatória para líderes cristãos e pastores cansados.

[Peyton Gunter · Rating 4 out of 5]

He does a great job of pointing out warning signs for burnout and gives very practical steps on how to “reset” and get back in the race. I did not always appreciate his writing style, but I appreciated the amount of grace he used and the amount of grace he encouraged us to have.

[Justin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read, especially for men in ministry.

[Benjamin · Rating 5 out of 5]

So packed full of practical insights and key advice. This book needs to be read by all who are caught in the treadmill of busyness. It furthermore needs to reviewed frequently and it’s principles consistently applied. I benefited greatly from it!

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

I will begin by telling you what I wish I had known before I requested it to review: this is a book for men. Throughout the book, he stresses that it is for men again and again. He hints that a book for women, I believe written by his wife, will be written and eventually published. But this book is FOR MEN. It has manly-man metaphors throughout.

The premise of this one is that Christian men burnout easily and most--if not all--need to be RESET. He argues that there is often a huge disconnect between a man's theology and doctrine and his daily practice. Christian men may believe in the five solas of the reformation, but they live by the five deficits.

Murray promises in the first few pages not to waste anyone's time. He promises that the book from cover to cover will be practical and relevant. The first few chapters are more of an inventory and invitation to reflect and analyze…to self-diagnos. The remaining chapters take you into the garage to fix what's wrong in your life.

One of my favorite chapters--perhaps my only favorite chapter--is on sleep.

Few things are as theological as sleep. Show me your sleep pattern and I’ll show you your theology, because we all preach a sermon in and by our sleep.
Question: Which of the Ten Commandments can you keep in your sleep? Answer: The sixth commandment, because, as the following statistics demonstrate, getting enough sleep is an act of loving your neighbor.
If our schools substituted sleepology for algebra, our society would be much healthier, safer, and brighter. Despite sleep taking up a quarter to a third of our lives and having such an influence on the remainder, most of us leave school in total ignorance of the why and the how of sleep.
We need to ask God to help us see this as a life priority, as a matter of obedience, and as a way of pleasing our Father and Creator. Let’s plead with him to give us the strength to do what we know we must do.
By sleeping, we are relinquishing control and reminding ourselves—at least for a few hours—that God actually doesn’t need us. When we close our eyes each night, we are saying, “I don’t run the world, or the church, or even my own little life.”
When and how long we sleep makes a huge statement about who we are and what we believe about ourselves and God.
Ultimately, sleep, like everything else, should lead us to the gospel and the Savior. First, it prompts us to think about death, that we shall all close our eyes as in sleep, and wake up in another world (1 Thess. 4:14). It also teaches about our Savior. The fact that Jesus slept (Mark 4:38) is as profound as “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). It reminds us of Christ’s full humanity, that the Son of God became so frail, so weak, so human that he needed to sleep. What humility! What love! What an example! What a comfort! What a sleeping pill! It illustrates salvation. How much are we doing when we sleep? Nothing! That’s why Jesus used rest as an illustration of his salvation. “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28). It points us toward heaven. There remains a rest for the people of God (Heb. 4:9). That doesn’t mean heaven is going to be one long lie-in. It means it will be a place of renewal, refreshment, comfort, and perfect peace.

Another chapter that gave some good insights was on the importance of relaxation and having hobbies. This chapter talked about the joys and benefits of reading:

There is something about reading, however, especially reading real paper books, that can be especially health-giving. In “How Changing Your Reading Habits Can Transform Your Health,” Michael Grothaus says, “Reading doesn’t just improve your knowledge, it can help fight depression, make you more confident, empathetic, and a better decision-maker.”
Reading for pleasure can help prevent conditions such as stress, depression, and dementia. People who read books regularly are on average more satisfied with life, happier, and more likely to feel that the things they do in life are worthwhile. In a survey of fifteen hundred adult readers, 76 percent said that reading improves their lives and helps to make them feel good.

His book covers most of the basics of life: eating and drinking, exercise, sleeping, working, playing, etc. He recommends an amended to do list:

1. Definite do. These are our most important God-given responsibilities and commitments. 2. Desire to do. These are activities we hope to do, and will do some of them after the “Definite-do’s” are done. 3. Delay do. These are worthy activities that we would love to do someday, but which we have to postpone until we have space and time in our schedules. 4. Don’t do. These are the things we either commit to stop doing or to say “no” to in the future.

[Jonathan Newman · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I came across this book on amazon, it helped me to have the courage to admit to myself and others that I am burned out and in need of a new way of living and doing ministry that is sustainable and actually more joy-filled than draining.

I am so grateful for this book. It is very practical, holistic, and down-to-earth grace-filled wisdom. It’s very sobering but also has great potential to save you from burnout or give you hopeful steps to recover. I so appreciated how he laid out that there are MANY, MANY factors that can contribute to burnout, so it’s not a one sized fits all approach. I have not fully implemented everything in here, but am very hopeful to thrive more in ministry in the near future with these tools and insights.

What kept coming up for me was the reality of our humanity, something that is actually hard to be humble about. But working to advance the Kingdom of God doesn’t have to leave us haggard and miserable. In a lot of ways it shouldn’t be, though in the affluent west and as a white man of much privilege it’s been very hard to give myself the permission to rest and relax and be tired with the subconscious thought: “what do I have to complain about? I’m not part of a marginalized group or under heavy persecution like Christians in other parts of the world!”

I think what prevents us men Christian leaders from admitting that our pace and lifestyles are unsustainable is fear and pride. I think this quote sums it up:

“Sometimes I find men who are afraid to admit they need a reset . . . When I tell them they have to go 20% slower, sleep 20% more, or reduce ministry service by 20%, what they hear is: ‘life is over, I’m a has-been, I’m just a lazy and unfruitful servant.’ For most of them, however, doing 20% less simply takes them down to about 120% of what most normal people do with their lives! Less does not mean nothing. *Some* change does not mean *total* change.”

I will add the caveat though that he assumes for the most part that his target audience are pastors and that they are married. I work in college ministry with a para-church organization and am single, so I had to filter and translate some of the material to fit my situation. For a good treatment of prioritizing healthy community in singleness, I highly recommend reading Pete Scazzero’s Emotionally Healthy Leader, particularly the chapter “leading out of your marriage or singleness.” Also this book is geared towards a male audience, probably because toxic versions of masculinity have a unique affect on men in our society in how it plays out with burnout, so if you are a woman, he and his wife coauthored a similar book called “Refresh.”

[Brian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reset: Living a Grace-Paced Life in a Burnout Culture by David Murray is an excellent treatment of the problems men (especially pastors) face in midlife and the need for intentional rest, renewal, and restoration. Murray relates how his own experience of burnout and resulting health problems in his forties led to serious changes in his lifestyle. This book is, in many ways, like Wayne Cordeiro's Leading on Empty (a book Murray seems unaware of, or at least never quotes). In some respects, it is even better. Cordeiro writes as a mainstream evangelical megachurch pastor. While his advice is often good, his theology is sometimes sloppy and his applications out of reach for ordinary people with limited resources. Murray is more grounded, both in theology (writing from a Reformed perspective) and in real life. Murray covers almost all the bases (sleep, recreation, exercise, diet, life purpose, goal setting, time management, personal relationships, and one's relationship to the gracious God of the gospel throughout) and includes lots of helpful statistics, insightful quotes, personal stories, and practical application. I read the book in less than twenty-four hours and will probably read through again more slowly. Highly recommended.

[Peter Yock · Rating 4 out of 5]

A helpful read. I enjoyed the testimony of a pastor who's ended up overworking so much in ministry that he hospitalised himself more than once. His advice is great - and the broad spectrum of the 'repair bays' he takes you through throughout the book were comprehensive and well-thought through. It was good, for example, to read a book on avoiding pastoral burnout that highly prioritised the importance of physical exercise - I don't think I've come across that before, but in my own experience is so critical. I found his theology of sabbath disappointing, especially given his otherwise strong emphasis on grace. But his encouragements on the subject of rest were very good in spite of that. I also found some of his personal examples weren't particularly helpful for me - but I think that's just because he's primarily a writer, and I'm not. Those niggles aside, I'm thankful for yet another great book on how to prevent burnout in ministry. Seems we can't have enough of them.

[Logan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I guess it was good, but man, I don't think I've ever not connected so much with a book.

I feel like I have a very low-stress outlook on life. I work but don't feel like I'm overworked. I'm very happy with how things are going, grateful to God for the position I'm in, and feel energized by the types of situations I've been put in recently, and I don't thing I have a problem with saying "no" when I feel I'm getting too busy. The types of stress and the symptoms he talks about...I just don't have I guess? I suppose that's a blessing, hopefully I'm not just fooling myself and suddenly have a crazy breakdown!

Despite that, there were some excellent reminders to make God the focus, to make prayer time priority to email in the morning, and to particularly be able to say no to things.

[Justin Heck · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is specifically geared towards men, especially pastors. For years, I have heard of pastors getting "burned out." I have not experienced burnout yet. David Murray gives practical advice on how I might avoid ever getting to that point. He discusses how I should take care of myself spiritually and physically, and how those two categories are more related than we might think.

I consider this a must-read for Christian men, especially pastors. (His wife is working on a similar book for women that should be released sometime this year).

[Bill Forgeard · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars because of how much I need it? A timely book for me. I was surprised and pleased at how practical this book is. I kept waiting for it to get to the specifically spiritual section... and it never did. Make no mistake, Reset is a thoroughly theological book -- but Murray's purpose is to deal with realities of rest, exercise, diet, relationships, use of time, etc. Very helpful indeed.

[Kevin Halloran · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most transformational books are the ones that meet you where you are in life and help you in your situation. Reset is a book I badly needed--I didn't realize how much I needed it until reading it.

[Jonathan Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal book. My wife read Refresh by this author’s wife while I read this! Totally changed how we talked and communicated about our relationship and the difficult (busy) season we find ourselves in. Amazing!!! Highest recommendation!!!

[Josh G. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a God-send to me the first time I read it. The second time through contained many great reminders I need to constantly attend to if I want to guard my heart, love well, and stay healthy. Will return to this book again and again.

Re-Read: August 2025. So helpful again.

[L-T Hopper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Extremely helpful and practical.

[Melanie Mead · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fantastic book. Practical, easy to read, yet rooted in biblical theology, and emphasising the grace of God. I bought it before I realised that it was aimed at men, but the author said he was writing for a broad audience; it felt very applicable to both men and women, people in ministry and people not in ministry. I have since read the women's version too (Refresh) which is also excellent. Having read both though, I think I actually preferred Reset. The reason for that was that it had a lot more personal quotes from men who had experienced burn-out in ministry situations so I felt I could relate. After reading both, I feel like I have a plan to deal with the causes of burn-out (by faith in reliance on Christ!). I would wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone feeling as if they need a fresh, grace-filled and and sustainable way to approach life and ministry.

[Parker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading the first chapter of this book convinced and convicted me that I had started to burn myself out already. Up to recently I've not been doing well balancing work, school, ministry, and family. If nothing else, this book has been valuable for demonstrating that to me.

But it's more valuable than that. Each chapter is full of great practical advice, grounded in sound theology. Murray consistently calls men to natural law (though he doesn't use those terms). For example, "We cannot expect to have strong and stable emotional health ... if we break basic nutritional rules that God has built into our world" (145), and "God designed this pattern of six days of work and one day of rest for perfect people in a perfect world. How much more do we need it now in such fallen bodies in such a fallen world?" (99).

My only substantive criticism is that chapter 10 felt almost entirely superfluous. It could easily have been replaced by a five-paragraph epilogue without losing any substance. In the grand scheme of things, this is a minor criticism.

Although Murray wrote this book with pastors especially in mind, it's worth reading for anybody. And I imagine I'll be revisiting it every few years.

[Andrzej Stelmasiak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life saving.

[Nicholas Potts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good little book. Very practice and gives even specific things to do or don’t do.

[Ben Chapman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really like David Murray and his teaching style. This book was very helpful for me at just the right time. I imagine I’ll need it and hope to revisit it for many years to come.

[Evan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This really is a good book, and quite relaxing read for someone who's not burning out. A lot of practical common grace wisdom as well as a wealth of biblical truths.

[Koupper Covington · Rating 4 out of 5]

Haven’t used this app in like over a year but this book was super practical, super helpful and super biblical. The chapters on sleep and friendship I especially enjoyed. Solid read.

[Ben Mordecai · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't expect for this book to apply as much as it did. Most of the advice in the book wasn't completely new information I never knew before as much as it was simply good advice and useful encouragement to take seriously the charge to tend to your own affairs, take care of yourself, and build good habits in order that your life can be better dedicated to the Lord. Rather than much of the selfish "self-care" in the modern world based on seeking your own happiness as the highest aim, this book centers the glorification and enjoyment of God as the highest aim and frames the care you take for yourself in terms of that higher goal.

The book is structured as a collection of "repair bays" where a part of your life is analyzed: diet, sleep, exercise, and so on. Each one of these repair bays could easily have been expanded to its own book, but that would make the book prohibitively long. It did enough to encourage me to do a bit more exploration on my own of these matters, but I am already seeing a renewed effort for me to take seriously the charge of resetting my life.

I set a reminder two months from now to re-listen to this audiobook in hopes that it will jolt me back into action and hopefully I will get more out of it a second read. I highly recommend this book for most Christian men.

[Lynette · Rating 4 out of 5]

I never knew how much I had burned out. I didn't recognize the signs that God was trying to show me. It took Him giving me catastrophe, helplessness and depression to fully realize my situation. I can proudly say I have been on the upward incline for a few weeks, or trying to be. This book made me fully realize where I was, and that I'm going to prevent this from ever happening again. Granted, this book is aimed towards men of ministry, but I was able to get some excellent advice and there were points that really hit home. So for anyone struggling or feeling "burned out" definitely reach for this book. I can't wait for his wife's book to come out with a woman's perspective.

[Mark Donald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent work, highly recommended.

Convicting and encouraging catalyst for thinking through the race that the Lord has called me to and how God's grace is the fuel for faithful ministry. I plan to return to this book with some regularity to examine my own ministry and motives, as well as to seek a pace which rests in God's grace, but also seeks to be faithful to fight the good fight and run the race well.

I think everyone will benefit from reading this book whether their full time vocation is ministry or not, but it is perhaps especially edifying to those who are in ministry where the lines of life and work are often blurred, and a temptation to view burnout as a virtue can be high.

[Ivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though I'm not in pastoral ministry, in the last year I've learned how to slow down, say no, and learn how to rest well. Whether to please people, pay the bills, or just because we love the work, it's easy to just add one more spinning plate to the mix, with the illusion that we can do it all. Like Christopher Ash's 'Zeal without Burnout,' David Murray encourages men to live deliberate (not reactionary) lives that get us through this marathon (not sprint) of the Christian life. I suspect this will be a balm for many weary pastors.

[Cbarrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Murray writes with deep understanding of the human mind and body. He ably dissects the myriad ways we can exhaust ourselves and pastorally applies biblical wisdom to reset for God's glory and our good. Forces the reader to evaluate bad habits in thinking and action. A good kind of painful read.