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Now, tragedy brought Ethan back into her life. Ethan. Tall and handsome, divorced and embittered, he ran his family's empire with an iron hand and a big heart...except when it came to her.
Living day to day with him brought back all the passion...and pain. Ethan was so near, yet mentally so far away. But Arabella was determined not to let him escape her again...
192 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1990

“Baby, what a scare you gave me!” he whispered.
Ethan had been her heart four years ago, but he’d married Miriam.
Miriam had hurt him dreadfully. Arabella had tried to warn him, in her own shy way. They’d argued over Miriam and because of it, Ethan had shut Arabella out of his life with cold cruelty.
“You should have listened to me about Miriam,” she said groggily. “We won’t talk about my ex-wife,” he said coldly.
His marriage had hurt her more than anything in her life. It had been unexpected, and she’d almost gone off the deep end when she’d heard.
Whatever he’d felt, he’d started going around with Miriam immediately after that sweet interlude, and within two months he’d married the woman.
She was still waiting for that first intimacy, just as she’d waited most of her adult life for Ethan to love her.
He’d loved Miriam,
Ethan falling under the spell of the green-eyed, redheaded model with her sophisticated beauty.
Arabella had heard Miriam bragging to another model that she had the Hardeman fortune in the palm of her hand and that she was going to trade Ethan her body for a life of luxury.
He hadn’t believed her. He’d accused her of being jealous of Miriam. He’d hurt her with his cold remarks about her age and inexperience and naïveté, then he’d ordered her off the ranch.
“After all, you told me yourself that I’d asked for it, that you’d been thinking about Miriam.”
“Miriam would laugh herself sick if anyone told her you were involved with me,” she said shortly. “I was only eighteen when you married her. She didn’t consider me any kind of competition then, and she was right. I wasn’t, and I’m not.”
“Men are treacherous,” she said without thinking. “I offered you my heart and you threw it in my teeth. I haven’t offered it again, to anyone, and I don’t intend to. I’ve got my music, Ethan. That’s all I need.”
I’ve never been anything but a pawn where men were concerned, and you think my father is trying to run my life?”
She loved him almost desperately, but it was obvious that he had no such feeling for her.
Miriam actually seduced a man at a dinner party we gave for Ethan’s business associates. He walked in on them in his own study.”
“A virgin has her own special appeal,” he replied. “And you are still a virgin, aren’t you?” “Yes,”
He averted his eyes. “Maybe I wanted a taste of you,” he said with a cynical smile before he turned away from her to get his towel. “I’ve never had a virgin.”
“You didn’t take that little interlude seriously, I hope?” he asked abruptly as he held the door open for her.
And he’d smiled, mockingly. “No? It seemed to me that you’d done everything but wear a sign. Or maybe I just read you too well. You wanted me, honey, and I was glad to oblige. But only to a certain point. Virgins are exciting to kiss, but I like an experienced woman under me in bed.”
The next week he’d been seen everywhere with Miriam, and Arabella overheard Miriam telling the other model about her plans for Ethan.
But he’d laughed at her, accused her of being jealous. And then he’d sent her out of his life with a scorching account of her inadequacies.
“We didn’t make love,” she said through her teeth. “You kissed me a few times and made sure I didn’t take it seriously. It was to ‘further my education,’ didn’t you say?”
“I’ve been alone a long time,” he said curtly, and he gave her a mocking smile.
It was a taxi, and getting out of the back seat, all leggy glamour and red lipstick, was Miriam Hardeman.
“I’m flat broke. I hope you don’t mind my staying here, Ethan, because I blew my last dollar on this outfit and I just can’t afford a hotel.”
“Tell her why you won’t get involved with experienced women, Ethan, dear,” Miriam murmured sarcastically.
“You don’t do anything,” Miriam said with a nasty inflection. “Especially in bed!” she lashed out.
This was the one nice thing that had come out of Miriam’s visit. Arabella could indulge her longing for Ethan without giving herself away.
“You saw through her from the beginning.”
“Miriam took a lover two weeks after we were married,” he said quietly. “There was a procession of them until I divorced her. She said that I couldn’t satisfy her in bed.”
“She never could understand why I preferred Miriam to you.”
“I could,” she said with a harsh laugh. “Miriam was everything I wasn’t. Especially sophisticated and experienced.”
“Are you sure you don’t want her back, Ethan? You loved her once.”
“I loved an illusion,” he said.
“I wanted her,” he said absently. “But wanting isn’t enough.”
His mouth settled unexpectedly on hers, covering the word even as she spoke it.
“You want me. You always have and I’ve always known it,” he said roughly.
“Don’t fight me,”
“Oh, God, let me love you,” he ground out.
She was too afraid that he’d been stirred up by his ex-wife and now he needed an outlet. It was…demeaning.
Of all the times for it to happen, and with Arabella, of all people!
“What’s wrong?” he asked roughly. “You want Miriam,” she said through numb lips. “You want her, and I’m substituting, all over again.”
He’d loved Miriam and all she’d wanted was his money.
“No man likes being a walking meal ticket,” he said shortly.
“My God,” he whispered almost reverently. “It’s been so long….” His mouth ground into hers with fierce delight.
She hesitated and he kissed her roughly.
“No.” “Miriam’s here and you’re frustrated because she didn’t want you….”
“I’m whole again, with you.”
It had been because of Arabella that Ethan had never fallen completely under Miriam’s spell. He’d wanted her, but his heart had always belonged to that young woman sitting beside him.
Miriam saw his smug expression and shifted uncomfortably.
Arabella had been watching the byplay with cold misery. Ethan was warming to the older woman, she could feel it.
“What would you call a twenty-two-year-old virgin?” “Sensible,” Coreen replied.
“That I’m not impotent,” he said simply.
“She couldn’t arouse me with all her tricks. It was why I was able to get her to leave. But she wouldn’t give me a divorce. She was sure she could get me back under her spell.
But you married her, she wanted to say. You loved her, and tonight at supper, you were so gentle with her.
Miriam had declared war in the hall and Arabella was afraid that she might not be able to compete. Especially when compared to the more beautiful older woman.
“Obviously that didn’t bother anybody except Miriam,” he said enigmatically, glaring at his mother and Arabella.
...was her father who called, not Miriam. “I should never have divorced Miriam. When the chips were down, she cared and you didn’t. I hope that damned dress you brought is returnable, honey, because I wouldn’t marry you on a bet! Now get out of my room!”
“I only took you in because I felt sorry for you,” he said, giving her a cold appraisal with silver eyes. “I wanted you like hell, but marriage is too high a price to pay for a mercenary virgin with eyes like cash registers. It’s all too plain now that I was right, that all you were interested in was financial security for you, and probably for your damned father!”
Her temper flared at the smug expression on the older woman’s face.
“Congratulations,” she flashed at Miriam. “You’ve got what you wanted. I hope your conscience lets you enjoy it—if you have one.” Miriam shifted uncomfortably. “I told you he’s mine,” she said defensively.
If he loved you, he’d never have believed you could ignore him when he was hurt.”
She laughed bitterly. “I should be used to it. I did it four years ago, and look how happy you made him.”
Probably the excuse of keeping Miriam at bay had been fictitious—like his so-called impotence.
“Love and trust are two sides of one coin, Ethan. If you can believe Arabella capable of such a cold-blooded act, then I’d suggest that you forget marriage and put Miriam’s ring back through your nose. God knows, right now I think the two of you deserve each other.”
Anyway, Miriam had been different lately, very caring and warm, and he’d actually enjoyed her company.
Miriam had been so different lately that he’d been sure she’d changed, that she wasn’t the same self-seeking woman she had been.
That was what Arabella saw when she stopped in the open door. A kiss that wasn’t sexual and held such exquisite tenderness that it made her feel like a voyeur.
“Ethan,” she said patiently, “she was in love with you four years ago. Desperately in love. She thought Miriam just wanted what you had, not you. She was trying to protect you, but you accused her of interfering and God knows what else. She ran then, too, and kept running.