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267 pages, Paperback
First published November 5, 2015
“Nobody wants me to solo, except me.”
“One of my favorite aspects of soloing is the way that pain ceases to exist”
"Almost at once, however, I had my qualms about the project. Ever since my “epiphany” in Chad, I’d agonized over the environmental impact of my climbing. To fly the three of us down to Mexico—not to mention other crew members to operate automated drones to capture footage high on the wall—would be to leave a sizable carbon footprint. Could I really justify burning all that jet fuel and using pricey high-tech hardware just to capture my several hours of play on Portrero Chico?”
"On the summit, part of me wished that someone, anyone, had noticed that I’d just done something noteworthy—though maybe it was better that I didn’t have to talk to anybody. How could I have expressed what my last few hours had been like? It was enough that I knew."
Drawn to Alex by his skill and amiability, Tommy puzzled over his friend's almost blasé attitude about risk.
How could Alex talk about his climbs in such a cavalier way?....
He described free solos of routes like the Regular Northwest Face of Half Dome as if they were nothing more than particularly scenic hikes. His conversation never drifted to places of death, love or even innate beauty. It's as if he thinks everything is either badass or boring, I thought. That's probably part of the reason he is so good at what he does. I found Alex's apparent indifference toward risk both exciting and terrifying. In an age of technology, he reminded me of a lost instinct. A hunter, a warrior.
Whatever Tommy's doubts, he soon realized that he and Alex made a superb two-man team. On their Triple Crown linkup in 2012, in the middle of the night on Freerider on El Cap, Alex had been deeply impressed by Tommy's stemming a pitch in the dark that he normally would have liebacked. But Tommy was equally impressed by Alex's nerve and aplomb.
He rarely stopped to place gear, only a few pieces per pitch. Somehow, that boldness, that confidence that he wouldn't fall, was contagious....
Tied to the upper end of the rope, Alex was simul-climbing out of sight and earshot. Above me, the cord arched past a dark offwidth-clipped to nothing. My arms quivered with fatigue; my head pounded with dehydration. I hoped to God that he had some gear in. Best not to think too much about it.
It was a good reminder to stay humble and keep asking for help. Each of my friends had something to teach me or remind me on the route. I was grateful that I now could be somewhat more open about my project and solicit opinions and advice. Keeping my dream of free soloing El Cap entirely to myself would have also meant that I'd be stuck with all my own beta. No advice from my friends, no one to help me with the work.
Had I stopped to think about it, I might have been nervous, or anxious that I was on the least secure part of the route. But that's why I didn't stop-I'd done all my thinking over the last six weeks as I worked on the route. I was fully prepared and knew exactly what to do. This wasn't the time for apprehension. It was the time for execution.
The 5.11b roof above me marked the first real climbing on the route. I had to trust my feet to tiny edges and pull hard with my fingers. It was the first section of the route that required total commitment. I could climb all the 5.10 cracks with complete controlif a foot slipped or I broke a handhold, it might not matter because I felt so solid. There's a big mental difference for me between real soloing, meaning total commitment, and easy soloing, which I can overpower if I need to in order to make it feel secure