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Man Up!: The Quest for Masculinity
God made men and women different. He gave them each specific roles. In Man Up!, men will discover Gods true design for themwhether as a guy searching for his footing in this culture, a husband seeking a godly relationship with his wife, or a father looking for guidance on raising his children to be confessional followers of Jesus. This book is ideal for individual study, small groups, mens Bible studies, and one-on-one studies.
315 pages, Paperback
Published March 7, 2017
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179 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
August 28, 2021
Dr. Antony Bradley commented that this is THE best book on masculinity he has ever read. I share his conviction. Hemmer does a fantastic job at showing us the ideal, Christ, and our dependence on him for true masculinity. The essence of masculinity is to give. This is his main point and it is a high calling. You will read this and not be able to live up to it and that’s the point. No man can besides the perfect man, Jesus. In an age of confusion, the world would benefit from men deciding to Man Up!
September 6, 2017
Let me begin by saying that I want books that address manhood to succeed—I really do. My hopes are too often dashed by authors who do not understand biblical manhood, give advice based on cultural norms, or address personality caricatures and clichés. Thankfully, Pastor Jeff Hemmer avoids these pitfalls in a marvelous attempt to spur men to be genuinely masculine, rather than effeminate or hyper-macho—both being aberrations of the standard laid out from the sixth day of creation: provide, protect, and procreate.
Part 1 of the book addresses who and what man is in relation to God and woman, including his roles and responsibilities. This may seem elementary, but I was surprised by the amount of information found there from which I had never received instruction: a case in point is the meaning of malakoi (μαλακοὶ) in 1 Corinthians 6:9. There the word is translated in the NKJV as a sodomite, but Hemmer tells us the better translation is effeminate, or in other words, the opposite of masculine. He then addresses the work accomplished by Christ’s incarnation and death to deal with sin and Satan.
Part 2, then, seeks to define what God reclaimed for man by examining who Jesus was as the sole model of godly masculinity and God as the sole perfect Father. With these Hemmer effectively demonstrates what we are to be as husbands and fathers acknowledging both our shortcomings and His provision. He ends with suggestions for ordering our walk:
Pray (and sing) like a man
Love like a man
Give like a man
Fight like a man
Grow as a man
These cover the last two chapters and provide several practical ideas for properly ordering our lives.
I can say without reservation that this is the best work I have read on this subject. Buy and read this book.
Part 1 of the book addresses who and what man is in relation to God and woman, including his roles and responsibilities. This may seem elementary, but I was surprised by the amount of information found there from which I had never received instruction: a case in point is the meaning of malakoi (μαλακοὶ) in 1 Corinthians 6:9. There the word is translated in the NKJV as a sodomite, but Hemmer tells us the better translation is effeminate, or in other words, the opposite of masculine. He then addresses the work accomplished by Christ’s incarnation and death to deal with sin and Satan.
Part 2, then, seeks to define what God reclaimed for man by examining who Jesus was as the sole model of godly masculinity and God as the sole perfect Father. With these Hemmer effectively demonstrates what we are to be as husbands and fathers acknowledging both our shortcomings and His provision. He ends with suggestions for ordering our walk:
Pray (and sing) like a man
Love like a man
Give like a man
Fight like a man
Grow as a man
These cover the last two chapters and provide several practical ideas for properly ordering our lives.
I can say without reservation that this is the best work I have read on this subject. Buy and read this book.
July 28, 2018
Anthony Esolen ‘s "Out If Ashes" is a polemic challenge for Christians to say enough is enough with secular culture. Rod Dreher’s "The Benedict Option" is a book that wishes to distinguish authentic Christian community in relation to modernity’s ideology of choice—hedonism. Archbishop Chaput’s "Strangers in a Strange Land" reads like a pastoral letter of hope for a Christianity in the coming age. However, before any of us can challenge the culture, shape it, and look for hope, we have to fundamentally look at our own souls and seek to get right with Christ by putting on the new man. Pastor Jeffrey Hemmer addresses every man’s call to live by the virtue of Christian masculinity exemplified by Jesus Christ. It is in Christ we see that giving of ourselves in service to our communities either by charity, clarity, or sacrificially we embody what God meant for men to be to be men. Men need structure and order; Men need to pray; Men need to sacrificially love, and men need to be bold against sin.
January 15, 2019
An excellent book, and an outstanding contribution to the topic of what it means to be a man. Straightforward, insightful, challenging, and well written. Rev. Jeffrey Hemmer carefully and deftly approaches this difficult but extremely important topic. He is candid in his discussion, but not without sympathy for the hardships and pitfalls confronting men in this fallen and perishing world. He identifies and discusses some of the key challenges, problems, and temptations facing men, while laying solid theological foundations for a more profound and authentic understanding of manhood. In calling men to repentance for the many and various ways they stumble and fall short, he does not fail to point them to Christ, the one Perfect Man, throughout the book -- not only as the example of what it means to be a man, but as the One who has rescued and redeemed all the sons of Adam from their own unrighteousness and its damnable consequences. The book only gets stronger, better, and more practical as it continues, offering encouragement to men in the confidence of Christ and His Gospel, that they might grow in maturity and learn better to serve and care for their neighbors, beginning especially with their own families. Pr. Hemmer understands and acknowledges how humbling all of this is, but he also addresses that burden with the grace of the Lord's forgiveness and the promises of the Holy Spirit. Lutherans will know what it means to say that he has rightly divided the Law and the Gospel and applied them appropriately and very well. This is an outstanding book which every Christian man should read, study, and carefully consider.
February 18, 2024
I just loved this book. I wish I’d read it before. Cph should market this one some more, it doesn’t need to be replaced.
Hemmer finds a good mix of goofiness to draw in the male reader, but leads toward excellent scriptural examples, Fathers quotes, Luther stuff, etc.
I liked the way he wasn’t afraid to make sons, fathers, husbands feel uncomfortable with the law while also having “chef’s kiss” gospel.
I found myself chewing on laconic phrases from the book such as:
“Forgive your wife because she needs forgiveness, not because she deserves it.”
“Be a good man, not always a nice man.”
“If your son is going to become a good man, then he needs a father who is one.”
“Don’t wait until your own piety is correct. Simply start. Do something.”
Hemmer finds a good mix of goofiness to draw in the male reader, but leads toward excellent scriptural examples, Fathers quotes, Luther stuff, etc.
I liked the way he wasn’t afraid to make sons, fathers, husbands feel uncomfortable with the law while also having “chef’s kiss” gospel.
I found myself chewing on laconic phrases from the book such as:
“Forgive your wife because she needs forgiveness, not because she deserves it.”
“Be a good man, not always a nice man.”
“If your son is going to become a good man, then he needs a father who is one.”
“Don’t wait until your own piety is correct. Simply start. Do something.”
September 14, 2022
Hemmer says the essence of biblical masculinity is self-sacrifice, as modeled perfectly by Christ. Excellent, biblical book.
February 25, 2023
Like many other reviewers, I picked up this book because Dr. Anthony B. Bradley categorizes this book as the quintessential book on manhood from a biblical and theological framework. I can see why he likes it so much: the book is full of exegetical and theological insights, and it's deeply rooted in the Reformation tradition. To top it off, the last few chapters are full of practical and helpful ways to live out the vision of masculinity laid down in the book.
In addition, it seems to me that Hemmer is on to something with the thesis of the book: the idea that the essence of masculinity is to sacrificially give oneself for the sake of others. Theologically speaking, there's something that rings true about that notion, although I do not have the time to expand on that idea in this space.
That being said, Hemmer, in my estimation, consistently labeled many Christian ideals/virtues as inherently masculine virtues, when in fact, at least in most cases, Scriptures challenge both female and male believers to exhibit those virtues. That's a consistent problem I see across this kind of literature, and I am sad to say I perceived that in this book as well.
In addition, it seems to me that Hemmer is on to something with the thesis of the book: the idea that the essence of masculinity is to sacrificially give oneself for the sake of others. Theologically speaking, there's something that rings true about that notion, although I do not have the time to expand on that idea in this space.
That being said, Hemmer, in my estimation, consistently labeled many Christian ideals/virtues as inherently masculine virtues, when in fact, at least in most cases, Scriptures challenge both female and male believers to exhibit those virtues. That's a consistent problem I see across this kind of literature, and I am sad to say I perceived that in this book as well.
August 5, 2025
Here after the raving endorsement from Anthony Bradley. Landing on 4.5 stars because about every 30 or 40 pages he reminds you that your baptism saved you. He’s a faithful Lutheran pastor through and through.
Other than that, this book is amazing. In a genre filled with “do better, look at how I do it,” this book is all about Jesus. It has rich theology (how about a chapter on the theological significance of Jesus’s circumcision) & confronts every man to look to the Man who came down.
“Man Up” is a bit of a misleading title, but Hemmer uses it well, spending the first half of the book convincing you, like your father Adam, are actually “man down” and that Christ is your subsitute.
Would recommend to anyone who cares about 50% of the population using their masculinity to give rather than take.
Other than that, this book is amazing. In a genre filled with “do better, look at how I do it,” this book is all about Jesus. It has rich theology (how about a chapter on the theological significance of Jesus’s circumcision) & confronts every man to look to the Man who came down.
“Man Up” is a bit of a misleading title, but Hemmer uses it well, spending the first half of the book convincing you, like your father Adam, are actually “man down” and that Christ is your subsitute.
Would recommend to anyone who cares about 50% of the population using their masculinity to give rather than take.
September 29, 2020
Excellent book. Should be gifted to high school, college, and seminary students.
It’s theologically sound, encouraging, and very practical.
It’s theologically sound, encouraging, and very practical.
September 11, 2023
This is the best book I have read in years. Every man should read this. Every high schooler. Every dad. This has already changed my life in the time I've been reading this. Take up and read.
June 21, 2017
Very good book on biblical manhood. Every man should read it.
January 20, 2020
This book is pure gold. Its message is sorely needed in an increasingly effeminate world where fathers are absent, where men refuse to step up and the definition of masculinity is being reduced to either "being macho" or "being a nice guy"
In contrast to this Hemmer holds up Christ as the example of perfect manhood: Christ is the head of His Church and yet He is also the one who gave His life for Her. This is also the central theme throughout the book: masculinity is about sacrificial giving.
Every man should give it a read!
In contrast to this Hemmer holds up Christ as the example of perfect manhood: Christ is the head of His Church and yet He is also the one who gave His life for Her. This is also the central theme throughout the book: masculinity is about sacrificial giving.
Every man should give it a read!
June 1, 2017
[This review was originally written for my congregational newsletter].
For these last several years as Father’s Day nears I’ve looked for books to help me grow and reflect on my vocation as father and husband. Last year’s book “Being Dad” by Scott Keith still has my recommendation as I have revisited many chapters in that volume recently. I have to be honest I almost balked on this year’s book simply because of its title. I confess that I judged a book by its cover. The title “Man up! The Quest for Masculinity” sounds like a corny chest-beating self-help book that will include tips for beard grooming and power lifting.
Well, I was surprised once I started reading. The author, Jeffrey Hemmer, does have a substantial beard. I think he also is into weight lifting. Yet, he does not suggest what so many other books about masculinity do by asserting that the cliché archetypical burly-bearded male is truly masculine. In fact, he’s quite critical of any cliché thinking regarding the subject. This is not a book that tells men to assert their masculinity against a feminized culture and to force others to accept them. Rather, the thesis of this book is quite simple. Real masculinity starts with giving of yourself for the good of those around you and in your care.
“Man up!” directs all men to put their hope in the one and only Man who is truly masculine. This Man never failed His bride. This Man never shirked His responsibilities or forgot His mission. This Man never did anything for selfish motives or self-serving ends. This Man was willing to suffer for others no matter the pain or cost. This Man protected His fellowman when all others would have retreated. This Man, is the “Man Up” on the cross, Jesus Christ, who is the perfect example of masculinity in a self-centered culture.
Throughout this book Hemmer compares and contrasts the true masculinity shown in Christ with the effeminate sinfulness of men. When you hear the word effeminate, you may think only of men who act womanly and are physically weak. The effeminate can look like that, but the word means more than that. Hemmer explains that the Greek word for effeminate, is “malakia”, this is the anti-masculine man. The effeminate man is any man who is self-serving and self-indulging. He is a weak man because he is selfish in all things. Therefore, men that look and act in way the culture consider “manly” may still be effeminate, because they are still immature boys who only think about themselves. Effeminate men do not give of themselves by selflessly serving others. Hemmer spends a lot of time ironing out all the ways the sin of being effeminate rears its ugly head in our lives and culture.
Hemmer warns his readers early on that this is the reason he hates his own book. He hates that he even has to write it because modern men have lost so much of true masculinity. He also hates it because it points out weakness and softness in himself. He knows that this book will offend his readers because it offends him. It holds men accountable for their unloving and unsacrificial behaviors. This book points out how we men have been poor sons, brothers, fathers, and leaders.
He does not leave us condemned though. The entire book is a Biblical tour-de-force which consistently shows God’s ideal for masculinity and how Jesus Christ fulfills it. Hemmer walks you through numerous Biblical texts that forgive your sins and challenge you to see Jesus for who is He is, the God-Man who came to save you. Time and again Hemmer will point you to man’s only hope, Jesus Christ. And by doing so he encourages the reader to live confidently in their baptismal identity as real men who give of themselves for the good of those they are given to serveC
Finally, Hemmer does pepper his book with a lot of practical advice. The last two chapters are dedicated to outlining what masculinity looks like. Hemmer’s manifesto can be divided with the words pray, love, give, and fight. The masculine man is a man of prayer who paradoxically becomes strong by recognizing his weakness and depends on God. The masculine man is a man who knows that God has given him to love outside himself and has given him a wife, children, family, co-workers, and a community to serve. The masculine man is a man who gives of himself and approaches each day asking what he may do to serve his neighbor. Finally, a masculine man is a man who fights for a purpose, whether it’s to make sure his team meets the deadline at work or defending his family from false teaching about Christ or defending his nation on the battlefield.
I look forward to reading this book with my sons when they are older. I also plan to add it to my reading recommendations for all men, but especially young men and new husbands. It is challenging. It makes men take a hard look in the mirror and see how sin has caused them to fall short of true masculinity. Yet, it also rebuilds them in their Christian identity and gives them encouragement to “Man Up!’ and follow the truly masculine Man, Jesus Christ, as they serve others in their vocations.
For these last several years as Father’s Day nears I’ve looked for books to help me grow and reflect on my vocation as father and husband. Last year’s book “Being Dad” by Scott Keith still has my recommendation as I have revisited many chapters in that volume recently. I have to be honest I almost balked on this year’s book simply because of its title. I confess that I judged a book by its cover. The title “Man up! The Quest for Masculinity” sounds like a corny chest-beating self-help book that will include tips for beard grooming and power lifting.
Well, I was surprised once I started reading. The author, Jeffrey Hemmer, does have a substantial beard. I think he also is into weight lifting. Yet, he does not suggest what so many other books about masculinity do by asserting that the cliché archetypical burly-bearded male is truly masculine. In fact, he’s quite critical of any cliché thinking regarding the subject. This is not a book that tells men to assert their masculinity against a feminized culture and to force others to accept them. Rather, the thesis of this book is quite simple. Real masculinity starts with giving of yourself for the good of those around you and in your care.
“Man up!” directs all men to put their hope in the one and only Man who is truly masculine. This Man never failed His bride. This Man never shirked His responsibilities or forgot His mission. This Man never did anything for selfish motives or self-serving ends. This Man was willing to suffer for others no matter the pain or cost. This Man protected His fellowman when all others would have retreated. This Man, is the “Man Up” on the cross, Jesus Christ, who is the perfect example of masculinity in a self-centered culture.
Throughout this book Hemmer compares and contrasts the true masculinity shown in Christ with the effeminate sinfulness of men. When you hear the word effeminate, you may think only of men who act womanly and are physically weak. The effeminate can look like that, but the word means more than that. Hemmer explains that the Greek word for effeminate, is “malakia”, this is the anti-masculine man. The effeminate man is any man who is self-serving and self-indulging. He is a weak man because he is selfish in all things. Therefore, men that look and act in way the culture consider “manly” may still be effeminate, because they are still immature boys who only think about themselves. Effeminate men do not give of themselves by selflessly serving others. Hemmer spends a lot of time ironing out all the ways the sin of being effeminate rears its ugly head in our lives and culture.
Hemmer warns his readers early on that this is the reason he hates his own book. He hates that he even has to write it because modern men have lost so much of true masculinity. He also hates it because it points out weakness and softness in himself. He knows that this book will offend his readers because it offends him. It holds men accountable for their unloving and unsacrificial behaviors. This book points out how we men have been poor sons, brothers, fathers, and leaders.
He does not leave us condemned though. The entire book is a Biblical tour-de-force which consistently shows God’s ideal for masculinity and how Jesus Christ fulfills it. Hemmer walks you through numerous Biblical texts that forgive your sins and challenge you to see Jesus for who is He is, the God-Man who came to save you. Time and again Hemmer will point you to man’s only hope, Jesus Christ. And by doing so he encourages the reader to live confidently in their baptismal identity as real men who give of themselves for the good of those they are given to serveC
Finally, Hemmer does pepper his book with a lot of practical advice. The last two chapters are dedicated to outlining what masculinity looks like. Hemmer’s manifesto can be divided with the words pray, love, give, and fight. The masculine man is a man of prayer who paradoxically becomes strong by recognizing his weakness and depends on God. The masculine man is a man who knows that God has given him to love outside himself and has given him a wife, children, family, co-workers, and a community to serve. The masculine man is a man who gives of himself and approaches each day asking what he may do to serve his neighbor. Finally, a masculine man is a man who fights for a purpose, whether it’s to make sure his team meets the deadline at work or defending his family from false teaching about Christ or defending his nation on the battlefield.
I look forward to reading this book with my sons when they are older. I also plan to add it to my reading recommendations for all men, but especially young men and new husbands. It is challenging. It makes men take a hard look in the mirror and see how sin has caused them to fall short of true masculinity. Yet, it also rebuilds them in their Christian identity and gives them encouragement to “Man Up!’ and follow the truly masculine Man, Jesus Christ, as they serve others in their vocations.
April 25, 2025
I've always been preoccupied with masculinity (fitting, given that my first name means "masculine" or "manly"), and I have a large amount of respect for those who can grapple with the concept without either giving in to stereotypes or pulling punches. My go-to source has always been the Art of Manliness, but for a purely Christian perspective on the subject, I could not recommend Pastor Jeffrey Hemmer's "Man Up!" any more highly.
Pastor Hemmer dissects the cultural notions of masculinity (both the postmodern idea of a sissified beta male and the reactionary image of a Duck Dynasty-type uber-alpha-male) by examining the concept in light of Scripture. He examines what man was created to be (i.e. in Adam--namely, one who protects, provides, and procreates in a selfless manner, all for God's glory), how far man has fallen, and how he has been redeemed in and by the perfect man: the God-man, Jesus Christ.
In addition to his overall argument, which is very solid, Pastor Hemmer also levels the reader with all sorts of knock-out quotes. Here are just a few:
"It is not good for man to be alone. Alone, man cannot be good. Alone, man cannot fully be a man. He has no one to love, no one to serve, no one to protect, no one for whom to provide." (9)
"Without a companion, Adam can be neither husband nor father. So God made a helper for him. This is more a statement of Adam's deficiency alone than it is about the nature of the woman God created for him." (29)
"Where there is a common goal, a unified direction for two men to fix their faces, there can be this sort of [deep] friendship." (35)
"Nothing could be more selfish or less masculine than using a latex barrier to withhold a part of yourself in the sexual union, dosing your wife with chemicals that treat her gift of feminine fertility as a disease that needs to be medicated, or otherwise holding back your procreative powers so that you can continue to enjoy life where children do not impose on your self-centeredness." (36)
"Men need a tribe...A tribe gives a man a place where he can share his identity with others on a similar quest, working toward a common goal." (41-42)
"Since that fateful moment in the garden, masculinity has been as much of a challenge as it is a holy calling. It no longer comes naturally. But we're in this together, man. Press on. Hope is not far away." (65)
"Who poured the foundations and laid the bricks of the ivory towers from which the feminists with their words are constructing the alternative City of the Same? Men. A society without them will soon crumble. Instead of maligning masculinity as essentially harmful or losing the exercise of masculinity in the hypermasculine overreaction, we must teach men and free them to exercise their manly traits for the good of society." (93-94)
"God has flesh and bones. DNA and Y chromosomes. Skin and teeth. Two arms, two eyes, two legs, two lungs, one penis, and two testicles. In the person of Jesus, God is a man. That's worth taking a knee in humility and using the moment to contemplate the profundity." (106)
"The hope for man, then, is to be fully man. The solution for your masculinity is in the One who was both fully and completely divine and fully and completely man." (116)
"In this surrender, you will find the freedom to be a man." (121)
"Jesus is good, good to the core, good in everything He does. He does not sin. And yet He doesn't fit the mold of a twenty-first-century emasculated nice guy. . . The cross is always an offense. It is not nice. But it is good." (141-142)
"Strength exists for the protection of others. Prowess exists for the provision of others. Power is not about taking back what may have been taken from you, but about being able to give of your own life on your own terms." (143)
"To be masculine is to have this mind of Christ Jesus. It is to acknowledge your power and your prowess and to see these as gifts to be employed in the service of others. Genuine, Christlike masculinity is the opposite of effeminacy." (145)
"Headship is not a license to do whatever you want. It is a calling to do what others around you need." (168)
"Every man with a family has the God-given responsibility to instruct his family in the faith, to preach and teach the Word of God to them." (172)
"Prayer is counter to productivity. You will not check anything off your to-do list by praying. This is why a man needs to pray." (173)
"Kings don't exist for their own good. A man's reign is never for his own good. It is always for the good of those placed under his kingdom. He is entrusted with their good." (175)
"So a man is called to love his wife selflessly and sacrificially, to give himself up for her, to make her holy taking away her sins, to cleanse her by his words and the Word of God, and to nurture and cherish her even as he does his own body." (199)
"How do we fight? In the shadow of the cross." (217)
"Pray, love, give, fight. These are your everyday tasks." (253)
"Genuine masculinity benefits all." (283)
"Not only does [pornography] cultivate a mind-set of dissatisfaction, but it also makes it impossible to be committed to loving and giving yourself to others in a genuinely masculine way. Instead, it leaves you fixated on yourself--your own needs and desires--and ultimately effeminate. Genuine satisfaction will be found in the lifelong, monogamous union of a husband and wife who fulfill their need for novelty with each other." (295)
"Christ lives in you. You live in Christ. The perfect Man. His strength is yours. His goodness is yours. His virtue is yours. His service is yours . . . In Jesus, the perfect man, who endured until proclaiming, 'It is finished,' you have endurance. Grit. Determination. You can keep going because He went all the way. Hang in there. Your mission is worth it." (297)
Near the end of the book, after explaining the heart of the issue. Pastor Hemmer also gives many helpful admonitions for better fulfilling one's calling to be fully masculine, including attaining spiritual, intellectual, and physical strength, loving your wife, catechizing your children, and serving your church and other neighbors. Ultimately, though, it all comes back to Jesus and the strength He grants us in His perfect masculinity. I'll let Pastor Hemmer's concluding line of the epilogue close out my review:
"Carry on, man. The quest is worth the effort. People are depending on you." (315)
Pastor Hemmer dissects the cultural notions of masculinity (both the postmodern idea of a sissified beta male and the reactionary image of a Duck Dynasty-type uber-alpha-male) by examining the concept in light of Scripture. He examines what man was created to be (i.e. in Adam--namely, one who protects, provides, and procreates in a selfless manner, all for God's glory), how far man has fallen, and how he has been redeemed in and by the perfect man: the God-man, Jesus Christ.
In addition to his overall argument, which is very solid, Pastor Hemmer also levels the reader with all sorts of knock-out quotes. Here are just a few:
"It is not good for man to be alone. Alone, man cannot be good. Alone, man cannot fully be a man. He has no one to love, no one to serve, no one to protect, no one for whom to provide." (9)
"Without a companion, Adam can be neither husband nor father. So God made a helper for him. This is more a statement of Adam's deficiency alone than it is about the nature of the woman God created for him." (29)
"Where there is a common goal, a unified direction for two men to fix their faces, there can be this sort of [deep] friendship." (35)
"Nothing could be more selfish or less masculine than using a latex barrier to withhold a part of yourself in the sexual union, dosing your wife with chemicals that treat her gift of feminine fertility as a disease that needs to be medicated, or otherwise holding back your procreative powers so that you can continue to enjoy life where children do not impose on your self-centeredness." (36)
"Men need a tribe...A tribe gives a man a place where he can share his identity with others on a similar quest, working toward a common goal." (41-42)
"Since that fateful moment in the garden, masculinity has been as much of a challenge as it is a holy calling. It no longer comes naturally. But we're in this together, man. Press on. Hope is not far away." (65)
"Who poured the foundations and laid the bricks of the ivory towers from which the feminists with their words are constructing the alternative City of the Same? Men. A society without them will soon crumble. Instead of maligning masculinity as essentially harmful or losing the exercise of masculinity in the hypermasculine overreaction, we must teach men and free them to exercise their manly traits for the good of society." (93-94)
"God has flesh and bones. DNA and Y chromosomes. Skin and teeth. Two arms, two eyes, two legs, two lungs, one penis, and two testicles. In the person of Jesus, God is a man. That's worth taking a knee in humility and using the moment to contemplate the profundity." (106)
"The hope for man, then, is to be fully man. The solution for your masculinity is in the One who was both fully and completely divine and fully and completely man." (116)
"In this surrender, you will find the freedom to be a man." (121)
"Jesus is good, good to the core, good in everything He does. He does not sin. And yet He doesn't fit the mold of a twenty-first-century emasculated nice guy. . . The cross is always an offense. It is not nice. But it is good." (141-142)
"Strength exists for the protection of others. Prowess exists for the provision of others. Power is not about taking back what may have been taken from you, but about being able to give of your own life on your own terms." (143)
"To be masculine is to have this mind of Christ Jesus. It is to acknowledge your power and your prowess and to see these as gifts to be employed in the service of others. Genuine, Christlike masculinity is the opposite of effeminacy." (145)
"Headship is not a license to do whatever you want. It is a calling to do what others around you need." (168)
"Every man with a family has the God-given responsibility to instruct his family in the faith, to preach and teach the Word of God to them." (172)
"Prayer is counter to productivity. You will not check anything off your to-do list by praying. This is why a man needs to pray." (173)
"Kings don't exist for their own good. A man's reign is never for his own good. It is always for the good of those placed under his kingdom. He is entrusted with their good." (175)
"So a man is called to love his wife selflessly and sacrificially, to give himself up for her, to make her holy taking away her sins, to cleanse her by his words and the Word of God, and to nurture and cherish her even as he does his own body." (199)
"How do we fight? In the shadow of the cross." (217)
"Pray, love, give, fight. These are your everyday tasks." (253)
"Genuine masculinity benefits all." (283)
"Not only does [pornography] cultivate a mind-set of dissatisfaction, but it also makes it impossible to be committed to loving and giving yourself to others in a genuinely masculine way. Instead, it leaves you fixated on yourself--your own needs and desires--and ultimately effeminate. Genuine satisfaction will be found in the lifelong, monogamous union of a husband and wife who fulfill their need for novelty with each other." (295)
"Christ lives in you. You live in Christ. The perfect Man. His strength is yours. His goodness is yours. His virtue is yours. His service is yours . . . In Jesus, the perfect man, who endured until proclaiming, 'It is finished,' you have endurance. Grit. Determination. You can keep going because He went all the way. Hang in there. Your mission is worth it." (297)
Near the end of the book, after explaining the heart of the issue. Pastor Hemmer also gives many helpful admonitions for better fulfilling one's calling to be fully masculine, including attaining spiritual, intellectual, and physical strength, loving your wife, catechizing your children, and serving your church and other neighbors. Ultimately, though, it all comes back to Jesus and the strength He grants us in His perfect masculinity. I'll let Pastor Hemmer's concluding line of the epilogue close out my review:
"Carry on, man. The quest is worth the effort. People are depending on you." (315)
December 23, 2025
One of the best books I’ve ever read. From a female perspective, I appreciated reading what it means to be a man, from both a man’s perspective and a biblical perspective. As a counselor/therapist, I read a lot of self-help and/or therapy books. The writing style and the educational approach as it pertains to biblical teaching (as Lutherans always do so well!) really makes this accessible, understandable, and packs a punch, where many counseling books come across as effeminate or feminine. This book will be so helpful to many boys and men as they grapple with bettering themselves as Christian men.
August 20, 2017
Excellent book on growing up to be a Christian man.
It's never too late to grow up. If you are a Christian man, this is an excellent book to look at what it means to be a man using the example of Christ Jesus.
At times, Hemmer seems to write in a way to make the reader a tad angry, but it does make you think. I found myself often having to back up a few pages because I was no longer paying attention to what I was reading, but was still processing what I had read pages back.
This book will make you think.
It's never too late to grow up. If you are a Christian man, this is an excellent book to look at what it means to be a man using the example of Christ Jesus.
At times, Hemmer seems to write in a way to make the reader a tad angry, but it does make you think. I found myself often having to back up a few pages because I was no longer paying attention to what I was reading, but was still processing what I had read pages back.
This book will make you think.
July 8, 2017
Very good book on a Christian view of masculinity. He covers the gamut of issues men face and isn't afraid to offend.
He looks at the biblical notion of masculinity and separates it from modern machismo and effeminacy (see his discussion on Saint Paul's is of the Greek term Malakoi).
He lays out scriptures view of what it is to be a man, and then notes we cannot attain such a high standard. However, Christ came and assumed human flesh and manhood and died for our failures, and serves as an example for men indwelt by the Holy Spirit. So much about this book was fantastic.
He looks at the biblical notion of masculinity and separates it from modern machismo and effeminacy (see his discussion on Saint Paul's is of the Greek term Malakoi).
He lays out scriptures view of what it is to be a man, and then notes we cannot attain such a high standard. However, Christ came and assumed human flesh and manhood and died for our failures, and serves as an example for men indwelt by the Holy Spirit. So much about this book was fantastic.
April 17, 2020
This book is exactly what every guy needs to read to learn what it means to be a man and what every girl needs to read to learn how to identify true manliness in the guys around her. Rev. Hemmer socks his readers with a powerful punch of Biblical truth that never loses sight of the only true man, Jesus Christ! Guys, read it and learn what manhood is and how it is lived out. Gals, read it and learn what manhood is and how to discern the guys who have made it their goal.
January 12, 2019
The book's title is not what you think is inside its pages. Every man, every father, needs to read this book. It won't change your life, but it will get you to think far more deeply about what it means to be a man, a father
July 3, 2020
Might be the best book I've read on the topic of men, esp. as the father of three sons.
September 24, 2018
Many books about masculinity are like cotton candy. Either they patronize you by withholding the rich, robust theology of the the Christian faith which gives the "reasonableness" to our service (Romans 12) while only offering you to do lists (which aren't bad in themselves, as this book demonstrates), or worse, they will pretty much tell you that masculinity is toxic and that men should shirk their duties and uniqueness. Well, we men love a juicy steak, and Chef Hemmer has grilled up a juicy one!
Far from effeminate, this is rigorous scholarship. He engages the entirety of redemptive history to offer a biblical view of humanity, asking our maker what is the imago dei rather than the feminists who would recreate us after their image. Hemmer quotes some of the most intelligent men in history including Aristotle, St. Paul, Augustine, Tony Esolen (hah!) and of course Christ to back up his argument that to be man is both biological and ethical. Yes, there is a certain toughness that is required of men, but it's toughness used in service to our neighbors, and thus the sexes function in a complimentarian way. Christ is the perfect man who forgives us for all are wretched depravity, and in this way models the self-sacrificial living that puts the interests of others first. This is by no means toxic to women, but is God's gift to them.
This book's complimentary view of the sexes resists reductionism and polarity while sounding a clarion call to repentance which is critically needed in our time. Now, Hemmer has done the writing, so let's us figure out ways to cultivate Christ centered masculinity in our own lives and in those around us who need mentors. Start by going to church, hearing law and gospel proclaimed to you, receiving Christ's body and blood in the Sacraments, and going to confession to receive unadulterated love and forgiveness so we can give it to others. And then give this book to someone in your life and begin honest conversations.
Far from effeminate, this is rigorous scholarship. He engages the entirety of redemptive history to offer a biblical view of humanity, asking our maker what is the imago dei rather than the feminists who would recreate us after their image. Hemmer quotes some of the most intelligent men in history including Aristotle, St. Paul, Augustine, Tony Esolen (hah!) and of course Christ to back up his argument that to be man is both biological and ethical. Yes, there is a certain toughness that is required of men, but it's toughness used in service to our neighbors, and thus the sexes function in a complimentarian way. Christ is the perfect man who forgives us for all are wretched depravity, and in this way models the self-sacrificial living that puts the interests of others first. This is by no means toxic to women, but is God's gift to them.
This book's complimentary view of the sexes resists reductionism and polarity while sounding a clarion call to repentance which is critically needed in our time. Now, Hemmer has done the writing, so let's us figure out ways to cultivate Christ centered masculinity in our own lives and in those around us who need mentors. Start by going to church, hearing law and gospel proclaimed to you, receiving Christ's body and blood in the Sacraments, and going to confession to receive unadulterated love and forgiveness so we can give it to others. And then give this book to someone in your life and begin honest conversations.
March 3, 2017
There have been a lot of books in the last 5 years or so speaking on the topic of what it means to be a godly man. I have personally read so many that I was hesitant to pick up this "Man Up".However, I am very glad I did.
This book is a welcome addition that climbs toward the top of the mountain in the canon of books on Christian manhood. While the author has a few things that I do not completely agree with, this book is very good overall. The structure is great bringing in vast amounts of Scripture as well as many illustrations from church history. Whenever you read a Christian living book and in the process learn more about the Bible itself it is always a pleasant surprise. While many "manhood" books are rich with platitudes and cliches this text is pointed, practical, and solidly biblical. Great read. Strongly recommend.
This book is a welcome addition that climbs toward the top of the mountain in the canon of books on Christian manhood. While the author has a few things that I do not completely agree with, this book is very good overall. The structure is great bringing in vast amounts of Scripture as well as many illustrations from church history. Whenever you read a Christian living book and in the process learn more about the Bible itself it is always a pleasant surprise. While many "manhood" books are rich with platitudes and cliches this text is pointed, practical, and solidly biblical. Great read. Strongly recommend.
March 21, 2017
I needed this and still do. Pass it around and give it to your kids.
September 11, 2018
It was excellent!
November 29, 2023
Review | Man Up!
The book Man Up! falls into the new genre of Christian books written about how to be a man. These books all have a common audience. They have realized that men don’t like church, and so they are writing to those men who feel disenfranchised and who feel the church is too feminine.
Because the premise of these books is trying to appeal to this particular audience, they have inevitable pitfalls. I think you can observe this difference very well by reading Richard Philips The Masculine Mandate or Herman Bavinck’s The Christian Family compared to books like Masculine Christianity by Zachary Garris and It’s Good to Be a Man by Michael Foster fall into these problems. What is the difference here? I think it is primarily one of a experience. If I wrote a book, it would probably look more like Garris and Foster, but that is because I am also younger and my technique still has not been carefully honed over the years. For example, Garris makes some pretty ridiculous arguments about how men and women are not “ontologically equal” because they have “different natures” when he had just acknowledged that they both share “human nature.” Needless to say this kind of pseudo-theology leads to some very problematic conclusions. If women are fundamentally different than men, then how did Christ, who is a man redeem women as well? I don’t think Garris is theologically incorrect here, but he is trying to articulate himself using verbiage that is untenable. Foster, on the other hand, is fond of referring to his audience as “clueless bastards.” I work with druggies who never had a dad and who can barely read. We really do live in an age of fatherlessness. And I think there is a time to call men clueless bastards, but it gets old.
Both Garris and Foster also make some basic exegetical mistakes in their zeal for patriarchy (i.e. the rule of fathers). This is an interesting mistake because it is grammatically undeniable. Genesis 1:28 is called the Dominion Mandate. And these men and others like them use this text as justification for masculine rule. But let me just quote this for you, “And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the heavens, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” The Hebrew verbs make more obvious what is already obvious in the text: The command to rule and subdue is given to both the husband and to the wife. Obviously this becomes differentiated in chapter 2. But the command to rule belongs to the man and woman. Both of them have authority. There are kings and queens. Fathers and mothers. In fact, a son will become a king by submitting to the words of his mother. But Garris says, “Woman is not made to rule” (67). Again, I think that he nuances his view elsewhere to actually agree that mothers should rule in their households. But he gets twisted in verbal knots.
So what about Man Up!? I have appreciated this book a lot. I think it largely avoids these kind of faults and presents itself as a more positive biblical vision for what it means to be a man, without falling into some of the weirdness. He is Lutheran so that colors what he says, but on the whole, I found his words encouraging, biblical, helpful, Christ centered, manly and the machismo was present to, but not grating.
I particularly appreciated his call to Fathers to execute the office of prophet in their home. As the head of the household, Fathers must teach their children in the ways of the Lord. This requires some degree of study, learning, personal experience, and of course, wisdom. This is the task of Fathers to teach their sons and daughters in the ways of the Lord. Paul explicitly gives this task to Fathers “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). This hearkens back to Adam’s original mandate to “keep” the garden and that includes “keeping” the words that God had given to him alone, and teaching his wife and kids the way to live in the boundaries of the garden. Men are prophets. Men are keepers of the Word.
The book Man Up! falls into the new genre of Christian books written about how to be a man. These books all have a common audience. They have realized that men don’t like church, and so they are writing to those men who feel disenfranchised and who feel the church is too feminine.
Because the premise of these books is trying to appeal to this particular audience, they have inevitable pitfalls. I think you can observe this difference very well by reading Richard Philips The Masculine Mandate or Herman Bavinck’s The Christian Family compared to books like Masculine Christianity by Zachary Garris and It’s Good to Be a Man by Michael Foster fall into these problems. What is the difference here? I think it is primarily one of a experience. If I wrote a book, it would probably look more like Garris and Foster, but that is because I am also younger and my technique still has not been carefully honed over the years. For example, Garris makes some pretty ridiculous arguments about how men and women are not “ontologically equal” because they have “different natures” when he had just acknowledged that they both share “human nature.” Needless to say this kind of pseudo-theology leads to some very problematic conclusions. If women are fundamentally different than men, then how did Christ, who is a man redeem women as well? I don’t think Garris is theologically incorrect here, but he is trying to articulate himself using verbiage that is untenable. Foster, on the other hand, is fond of referring to his audience as “clueless bastards.” I work with druggies who never had a dad and who can barely read. We really do live in an age of fatherlessness. And I think there is a time to call men clueless bastards, but it gets old.
Both Garris and Foster also make some basic exegetical mistakes in their zeal for patriarchy (i.e. the rule of fathers). This is an interesting mistake because it is grammatically undeniable. Genesis 1:28 is called the Dominion Mandate. And these men and others like them use this text as justification for masculine rule. But let me just quote this for you, “And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the heavens, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” The Hebrew verbs make more obvious what is already obvious in the text: The command to rule and subdue is given to both the husband and to the wife. Obviously this becomes differentiated in chapter 2. But the command to rule belongs to the man and woman. Both of them have authority. There are kings and queens. Fathers and mothers. In fact, a son will become a king by submitting to the words of his mother. But Garris says, “Woman is not made to rule” (67). Again, I think that he nuances his view elsewhere to actually agree that mothers should rule in their households. But he gets twisted in verbal knots.
So what about Man Up!? I have appreciated this book a lot. I think it largely avoids these kind of faults and presents itself as a more positive biblical vision for what it means to be a man, without falling into some of the weirdness. He is Lutheran so that colors what he says, but on the whole, I found his words encouraging, biblical, helpful, Christ centered, manly and the machismo was present to, but not grating.
I particularly appreciated his call to Fathers to execute the office of prophet in their home. As the head of the household, Fathers must teach their children in the ways of the Lord. This requires some degree of study, learning, personal experience, and of course, wisdom. This is the task of Fathers to teach their sons and daughters in the ways of the Lord. Paul explicitly gives this task to Fathers “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). This hearkens back to Adam’s original mandate to “keep” the garden and that includes “keeping” the words that God had given to him alone, and teaching his wife and kids the way to live in the boundaries of the garden. Men are prophets. Men are keepers of the Word.
March 5, 2025
3.5 stars
Listened on Spotify, author as narrator
I don't know whether it was the style of the book not translating well to audiobook or if the author just isn't very skilled at it, but it seemed very stilted at times to listen to.
The meat of this book is in the back half; I wish the beginning was much shorter. I don't know if it's because I've read/heard much of it before, but the critique of the current state of masculinity fell flat for me. I did appreciate that not only the de-emphasizing of maleness was criticized, but "performative" maleness was as well. My thoughts on as to why these are common in the US (something I don't think Rev. Hemmer acknowledges enough in the book is that this is pretty focused on US culture) are probably somewhat different than his, and I think the picture of the ideal, from this analysis and others, is too focused on early-mid 20th century and doesn't recognize how strange historically that time is; the industrial revolution (which was ongoing in the US up to around the middle of last century) did a lot more to disrupt life than most realize. The section on Jesus not being a "nice guy" was far longer than necessary, even if I hadn't been hearing that for at least 15 years.
The much more impactful section is the focus on Jesus as the ideal of masculinity, though I think the book overall could have been more theocentric as opposed to Christocentric. As Rev. Hemmer notes, taking Jesus as our ideal and guide for what a man should be gives a different picture than most of what is seen around today, including some given by Christians. There is also great emphasis on the fact that we are fallen and unable to live up to his example, and in need of God's saving grace to live as we ought. I appreciate the author's concluding thoughts that the book should frustrate us - I know it certainly did me - but that it should spur us on to ever more trust in the work of Jesus for our salvation and the Spirit in living out our lives.
As a personal preference, I would have liked the book to be more ecumenical. It is very much a Lutheran book, in many ways explicitly (emphasis on baptism as opposed to conversion or regeneration, Lutheran catechism/confessions/other denominational standards) and others more subtle (I'm not overly familiar with them, but seems like some law/gospel distinctions, a few theology of glory/theology of the cross areas). Maybe some instruction for those not of a Lutheran background would have been nice, but I think there is enough there for us to do our own work in applying the ideas. None of this are knocks against the book Rev. Hemmer wrote, just my reception of it.
Listened on Spotify, author as narrator
I don't know whether it was the style of the book not translating well to audiobook or if the author just isn't very skilled at it, but it seemed very stilted at times to listen to.
The meat of this book is in the back half; I wish the beginning was much shorter. I don't know if it's because I've read/heard much of it before, but the critique of the current state of masculinity fell flat for me. I did appreciate that not only the de-emphasizing of maleness was criticized, but "performative" maleness was as well. My thoughts on as to why these are common in the US (something I don't think Rev. Hemmer acknowledges enough in the book is that this is pretty focused on US culture) are probably somewhat different than his, and I think the picture of the ideal, from this analysis and others, is too focused on early-mid 20th century and doesn't recognize how strange historically that time is; the industrial revolution (which was ongoing in the US up to around the middle of last century) did a lot more to disrupt life than most realize. The section on Jesus not being a "nice guy" was far longer than necessary, even if I hadn't been hearing that for at least 15 years.
The much more impactful section is the focus on Jesus as the ideal of masculinity, though I think the book overall could have been more theocentric as opposed to Christocentric. As Rev. Hemmer notes, taking Jesus as our ideal and guide for what a man should be gives a different picture than most of what is seen around today, including some given by Christians. There is also great emphasis on the fact that we are fallen and unable to live up to his example, and in need of God's saving grace to live as we ought. I appreciate the author's concluding thoughts that the book should frustrate us - I know it certainly did me - but that it should spur us on to ever more trust in the work of Jesus for our salvation and the Spirit in living out our lives.
As a personal preference, I would have liked the book to be more ecumenical. It is very much a Lutheran book, in many ways explicitly (emphasis on baptism as opposed to conversion or regeneration, Lutheran catechism/confessions/other denominational standards) and others more subtle (I'm not overly familiar with them, but seems like some law/gospel distinctions, a few theology of glory/theology of the cross areas). Maybe some instruction for those not of a Lutheran background would have been nice, but I think there is enough there for us to do our own work in applying the ideas. None of this are knocks against the book Rev. Hemmer wrote, just my reception of it.
March 13, 2024
Pastor Hemmer’s so-called quest for masculinity was a great read. Very occasionally, I found sections a bit hokey, too pithy, or too wordy.. but overall great content and excellent practical advice.
Divided into two parts, the first establishes the theological concept of man, what he is, what he was, and what he ought to be.. all grounded firmly in Christ, the image of God in which man was created. “Adam, the man, looks like Jesus, the Man. The shadow of Christ’s incarnation casts its form all the way back onto the Garden of Eden. The man God formed in Genesis 1 and 2 is shaped by the Man God became in Matthew 1, Luke 2, and John 1” (p. 5). This section also includes a helpful contrast of virtue and vice, definitions of effeminacy and masculinity, and clarified that Christian men are Baptized into the masculine ideal of Christ.
A Confessional Lutheran Pastor writes a book about masculinity and it is about Jesus.. no surprise there, so therefore masculinity is rooted in sacrificial service.
Once framed, he fleshes out practical advice in a gracious way that left me feeling more encouraged and inspired than beaten down. Contrasts between headship and submission, power and kindness, assertiveness and humility, courage and sacrifice, and giving and receiving paint the picture of masculinity as balanced and repentant. A man: prays, loves, gives, and fights. Prayer is outlined by the prayer offices and singing, love is guided by the “four loves”, giving was simple but tough, and fighting is maybe not what you’d think. “Fight against yourself [… fight] for others.” (pp. 270, 273).
Finally, Pastor Hemmer gives direction on how to grow toward these things. Quotations throughout from martyr accounts, hymns, the Bible, and some other book recommendations. I am early into marriage and fatherhood, so this might all sit heavier on those further along, but grace is so emphasized I would recommend this challenging read to any Christian man looking to grow.. especially as a husband or father.
“Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Don’t wait until your own piety is correct. Simply start. Do something” (p 309).
Divided into two parts, the first establishes the theological concept of man, what he is, what he was, and what he ought to be.. all grounded firmly in Christ, the image of God in which man was created. “Adam, the man, looks like Jesus, the Man. The shadow of Christ’s incarnation casts its form all the way back onto the Garden of Eden. The man God formed in Genesis 1 and 2 is shaped by the Man God became in Matthew 1, Luke 2, and John 1” (p. 5). This section also includes a helpful contrast of virtue and vice, definitions of effeminacy and masculinity, and clarified that Christian men are Baptized into the masculine ideal of Christ.
A Confessional Lutheran Pastor writes a book about masculinity and it is about Jesus.. no surprise there, so therefore masculinity is rooted in sacrificial service.
Once framed, he fleshes out practical advice in a gracious way that left me feeling more encouraged and inspired than beaten down. Contrasts between headship and submission, power and kindness, assertiveness and humility, courage and sacrifice, and giving and receiving paint the picture of masculinity as balanced and repentant. A man: prays, loves, gives, and fights. Prayer is outlined by the prayer offices and singing, love is guided by the “four loves”, giving was simple but tough, and fighting is maybe not what you’d think. “Fight against yourself [… fight] for others.” (pp. 270, 273).
Finally, Pastor Hemmer gives direction on how to grow toward these things. Quotations throughout from martyr accounts, hymns, the Bible, and some other book recommendations. I am early into marriage and fatherhood, so this might all sit heavier on those further along, but grace is so emphasized I would recommend this challenging read to any Christian man looking to grow.. especially as a husband or father.
“Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Don’t wait until your own piety is correct. Simply start. Do something” (p 309).
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 7, 2021
I'm not of one mind about this book. There were parts of his argument that I flatly disagreed with, but there were other parts that I thought were very good.
I don't agree with his handling of malakia in 1 Cor 6:9. Most Koine NT lexicons have this as a form of sexual perversion (and older commentators do too), and not just being a 'girly man.' That should naturally come as a relief because, "Be a Man" is a very vague and confusing exhortation, and to find out that not being enough of 'a man' will keep you out of heaven should therefore be terrifying.
In truth the Bible is pretty sparse in it exhortations to "be a man." In fact, there is only one in the NT, and its given to everybody (1 Cor 16:13), including the women, calling the church to maturity and strength. Even some of the pull quotes at the beginning of chapters, were addressed more broadly to men and women, though the author seemed use them as purely masculine exhortations (thinking about the Chrysostom quote from his 1 Corinthians homilies).
His handling of the story Deborah wasn't great.
And there are a number of other issues I have with the book, and I'm not entirely persuaded that the list of masculine virtues is treated as merely masculine by the Bible. So I have some issues.
Nevertheless, I agree that boys and men need to know what to aspire to be, and this book makes some great points. Strength used to serve. Leadership that is sacrificial. Prayer. Singing. Giving. Fighting (for what is good). This is excellent. The last couple of chapters in particular give great advice on what men do. Also, props to the writer for framing this whole discussion of masculinity in the context of Law and Gospel. Also, props for pointing out toxic masculinity is an over-reaction to the problem of weak men. Good. Good. Good.
So, there are several issues I had with this book, but it also has some good strengths too. I could see myself recommending this to others (with a few cautions).
I don't agree with his handling of malakia in 1 Cor 6:9. Most Koine NT lexicons have this as a form of sexual perversion (and older commentators do too), and not just being a 'girly man.' That should naturally come as a relief because, "Be a Man" is a very vague and confusing exhortation, and to find out that not being enough of 'a man' will keep you out of heaven should therefore be terrifying.
In truth the Bible is pretty sparse in it exhortations to "be a man." In fact, there is only one in the NT, and its given to everybody (1 Cor 16:13), including the women, calling the church to maturity and strength. Even some of the pull quotes at the beginning of chapters, were addressed more broadly to men and women, though the author seemed use them as purely masculine exhortations (thinking about the Chrysostom quote from his 1 Corinthians homilies).
His handling of the story Deborah wasn't great.
And there are a number of other issues I have with the book, and I'm not entirely persuaded that the list of masculine virtues is treated as merely masculine by the Bible. So I have some issues.
Nevertheless, I agree that boys and men need to know what to aspire to be, and this book makes some great points. Strength used to serve. Leadership that is sacrificial. Prayer. Singing. Giving. Fighting (for what is good). This is excellent. The last couple of chapters in particular give great advice on what men do. Also, props to the writer for framing this whole discussion of masculinity in the context of Law and Gospel. Also, props for pointing out toxic masculinity is an over-reaction to the problem of weak men. Good. Good. Good.
So, there are several issues I had with this book, but it also has some good strengths too. I could see myself recommending this to others (with a few cautions).
May 27, 2024
Pleasantly impressed and refreshed by this book. I'm inherently skeptical of any book about masculinity because I was handed so much hyper masculine nonsense when I was younger and swung the other way towards resources that only say what a man isn't but fail to offer any distinct understanding of manhood. This book was exceptional at avoiding those pitfalls, defining clearly from Scripture what is distinct about masculine, finding it exemplified in Christ, and offering practical suggestions on how to live into it. I would recommend for any young man. My review is more likely a 4.5 as there were a few glaring areas of oversimplification (especially in reducing parenting daughters to seeing the type of man that want to marry. Important yes but not the totality of raising girls) but like I said it avoids those extremes unlike most other attempts at this subject. It would not be a great resource for older Christian men who aren't married or who carry shame/guilt around sex and relationships in their younger years.
November 14, 2024
Great, as long as you are blessed with marriage. Did God not give you that blessing? Well this isn't the book for you. Hemmer does not at all try to give a purpose to Men who are not married. He even says "I'm going to now give advice to unmarried men" which is about a half page, followed by 2 chapters on sex, marriage, children. "Sucks for you man if you don't get to have these things."
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