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The Skeleton Cupboard
In my session with Imogen, the words were still not coming. I had to move past my own frustration and relax. But it is very hard to relax when you are looking into the eyes of a mute little girl who wants to be dead. You don't want to relax; you want to pull her into your arms, hold her and then shake her until she tells you why. You long to say, ""Why do you want to die? You're twelve years old.""
Gripping, unforgettable and deeply affecting, The Skeleton Cupboard recounts the patient stories that most influenced Dr. Tanya Byron, covering years of training that forced her to confront the harsh realities of the lives of her patients and the demons of her own family history. Among others, we meet Ray, a violent sociopath desperate to be treated with tenderness and compassion; Mollie, a talented teenager intent on starving herself; and Imogen, a twelve-year-old so haunted by a secret that she's intent on killing herself.
Byron brings the reader along as she uncovers the reasons each of these individuals behave as they do, resulting in a thrilling, compulsively readable medical mystery that sheds light on mental illness and what its treatment tells us about ourselves.
Gripping, unforgettable and deeply affecting, The Skeleton Cupboard recounts the patient stories that most influenced Dr. Tanya Byron, covering years of training that forced her to confront the harsh realities of the lives of her patients and the demons of her own family history. Among others, we meet Ray, a violent sociopath desperate to be treated with tenderness and compassion; Mollie, a talented teenager intent on starving herself; and Imogen, a twelve-year-old so haunted by a secret that she's intent on killing herself.
Byron brings the reader along as she uncovers the reasons each of these individuals behave as they do, resulting in a thrilling, compulsively readable medical mystery that sheds light on mental illness and what its treatment tells us about ourselves.
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First published May 22, 2014
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About the author
Tanya Byron
24 books51 followersTANYA BYRON is a British clinical psychologist, writer, media personality, and a frequent public speaker who has presented countless British TV and radio programs. She writes a weekly column for The Times (UK) and a monthly column for Good Housekeeping (UK). She advises on international policy relating to young people, mental health, and education, and is currently working in China to develop services for children and their families.
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June 30, 2023Alzheimer's is always heart-breaking, but the poor man, Harold, described in this book, is more so than anything I have ever read. Because Alzheimer's leaves old memories intact, a survivor of Auschwitz concentration camp is doomed to relive his time there, the present having left him. He was a German Jew who after the war became a famous scientist in London who suffered terribly from PTSD and couldn't stand in line or bear uniforms.
He was supported by his wife, Saira, also Jewish, a survivor of Mathausen concentration camp (her three sisters had been killed in front of her) and she had her own issues including infertility, camp doctors having experimented on her body. In her latter years, more advanced than her husband in dementia, she couldn't be showered, she had to be bathed with a sponge by her husband, she thought the showers were the deadly gas of the Nazi execution chambers, and to help him she would put a damp cloth over his nose and mouth.
These two old people supported each other to the end. She died in her husband's arms, by then he had retreated entirely into himself, into the hell of a never-ending concentration camp.
How they got there. His ex-wife who was not Jewish, had denounced her ex-husband and his new partner to the Nazis. I have nothing but evil thoughts towards that woman.
The book is so well-written, it's a real joy to read for the writing alone.
__________
I'm on to Tanya's second case as a trainee clinical psychologist. She totally fucks up the first one thinking a poor sad man had been helped by a little chat with her, until he pulls a knife - the psychopath. But she redeems herself with her second, a suicidal preteen who she saves from jumping into, as she puts it, 'the deep blue sea sea sea'.
I like the way this book is written, it is full of the personality of the author not by her telling us how she is but by how she relates her stories and experiences with her patients and her supervisor.
He was supported by his wife, Saira, also Jewish, a survivor of Mathausen concentration camp (her three sisters had been killed in front of her) and she had her own issues including infertility, camp doctors having experimented on her body. In her latter years, more advanced than her husband in dementia, she couldn't be showered, she had to be bathed with a sponge by her husband, she thought the showers were the deadly gas of the Nazi execution chambers, and to help him she would put a damp cloth over his nose and mouth.
These two old people supported each other to the end. She died in her husband's arms, by then he had retreated entirely into himself, into the hell of a never-ending concentration camp.
How they got there. His ex-wife who was not Jewish, had denounced her ex-husband and his new partner to the Nazis. I have nothing but evil thoughts towards that woman.
The book is so well-written, it's a real joy to read for the writing alone.
__________
I'm on to Tanya's second case as a trainee clinical psychologist. She totally fucks up the first one thinking a poor sad man had been helped by a little chat with her, until he pulls a knife - the psychopath. But she redeems herself with her second, a suicidal preteen who she saves from jumping into, as she puts it, 'the deep blue sea sea sea'.
I like the way this book is written, it is full of the personality of the author not by her telling us how she is but by how she relates her stories and experiences with her patients and her supervisor.
September 7, 2014
I am not sure that I see the point to this book.
My paperback copy is subtitled - "The making of a clinical psychologist". The altered (?) subtitle - "Stories from a clinical psychologist" is more apt because this book is much more 'novel' like - and to be honest, if this is how a clinical psychologist is 'made' (letting them loose using trial and mostly error) - everyone's in trouble.
I understand that psychology is not an exact science (I have studied it myself and have friends who are psychologists) - but I think this book has hardly anything to do with how a clinical psychologist is 'made'.
Although this is a Non-Fiction book, the stories are not real. The 'case studies' are just amalgamated examples of problems people face. You've got your token dementia / anorexia / drug addicts / sexual dysfunction etc. I find this whole thing absurd, actually.
The book itself is an easy read. It is also very readable. It did concern me that I found the writing style to be immature - but it seems the author was trying to write as her '22 year old' self. A bit uncomfortable.
I agree with the author that we are all on the spectrum. Sometimes it is just ...'there but for the grace of God go I'. Life's circumstances can deal hefty blows and the purpose of clinical psychology is to help 'make the journey from chaos to clarity'.
In her epilogue, Tanya Byron says ...'we, as a society, are failing' and that 'we have a lack of compassion and understanding'. If in any way this book is trying to rectify that .... I am all for it. Unfortunately, I think we need a far bigger vehicle than this one.
__________________
Sorry - changing my mind. Can't stand that I've given this one 3 stars when there are sooooo many others I've rated 3 stars that are soooo much better than this. Back to two stars you go.
My paperback copy is subtitled - "The making of a clinical psychologist". The altered (?) subtitle - "Stories from a clinical psychologist" is more apt because this book is much more 'novel' like - and to be honest, if this is how a clinical psychologist is 'made' (letting them loose using trial and mostly error) - everyone's in trouble.
I understand that psychology is not an exact science (I have studied it myself and have friends who are psychologists) - but I think this book has hardly anything to do with how a clinical psychologist is 'made'.
Although this is a Non-Fiction book, the stories are not real. The 'case studies' are just amalgamated examples of problems people face. You've got your token dementia / anorexia / drug addicts / sexual dysfunction etc. I find this whole thing absurd, actually.
The book itself is an easy read. It is also very readable. It did concern me that I found the writing style to be immature - but it seems the author was trying to write as her '22 year old' self. A bit uncomfortable.
I agree with the author that we are all on the spectrum. Sometimes it is just ...'there but for the grace of God go I'. Life's circumstances can deal hefty blows and the purpose of clinical psychology is to help 'make the journey from chaos to clarity'.
In her epilogue, Tanya Byron says ...'we, as a society, are failing' and that 'we have a lack of compassion and understanding'. If in any way this book is trying to rectify that .... I am all for it. Unfortunately, I think we need a far bigger vehicle than this one.
__________________
Sorry - changing my mind. Can't stand that I've given this one 3 stars when there are sooooo many others I've rated 3 stars that are soooo much better than this. Back to two stars you go.
July 29, 2017
I'll admit that there were aspects of The Skeleton Cupboard that I believe are worth reading. Unfortunatley these aspects were few and far between. It was an easy, quick read. Honestly, the epilogue was seemingly the most honest well thought out part of the book, bringing to light the importance of increasing public knowledge of the vast complexities of mental health and highlighting that not all mental heath issues can be "cured." This book, however, appeared far too contrived and unrealistic, with the author writing "case studies" that fit too perfectly into her novel form to be taken seriously.
I understand that Tanya Byron wrote this book from the point of view of her 22-year-old self, but she comes across as arrogant and unlikeable. If I knew nothing about psychotherapy prior to reading this book, I would be terrified to accept treatment from a mental health trainee. As a clinical psychology student myself, there are a few things I feel I must point out.
First, the majority of clinical training that doctoral students receive is not trial by error. The author discusses how she administered an entire neuropsychological battery without ever reviewing the measures with a supervisor. Absurd. I took several classes and was supervised for weeks before giving my own battery.
Second, the way the author speaks about and to her supervisors and co-workers is appalling. I wouldn't dream of saying "Fuck you" to even my least favorite supervisor, much less engaging in romantic behvaior with a collague at a training site. She comes across as completely rude, unprofessional, and judgmental, often showing little to no empathy or compassion to those around her.
Third, the author often uses language that I feel minimizes the severity of mental health issues. She talks lightly about teens competing to be the best anorexic. She describes, on several occasions, severe physical intimate partner violence as "
sadomasochistic relationships." In her narrative, she often refers to her patients as "sweetheart" and "darling". The amount of physical contact she makes with nearly all patients is also inappropriate. When referring to a sexually abused child she states "I started to rock her as she sat into my body, her back against my chest, her legs inside mine. 'OK, sweetheart. Shh, darling. It's OK. I'm sorry, darling.'" It all feels uncomfortable, like she is a loving mother, sister, or friend, not a professional. At one point she is working with a "famous designer" in a HIV/AIDS clinic and states that she cannot wait to tell her friends, a direct violation of confidentiality.
Finally, she glosses over the fact that her supervisor offered to complete her dissertation statistics for her, a project that often takes students years of hard work to complete. While clinical psychology students do receive much training as clinicians, there is also an emphasis on research, often with the purpose of ensuring that interventions are informed by science.
I personally understand that completing clinical rotations as a clinical psychology student is difficult, and everyone makes judgements and makes mistakes. I also understand that the author completed her training at a different University and at a different time than I. I do not believe that this book is a positive representation of what it takes to "make" a clinical psychologist, much less of the complexity that is psychology.
I understand that Tanya Byron wrote this book from the point of view of her 22-year-old self, but she comes across as arrogant and unlikeable. If I knew nothing about psychotherapy prior to reading this book, I would be terrified to accept treatment from a mental health trainee. As a clinical psychology student myself, there are a few things I feel I must point out.
First, the majority of clinical training that doctoral students receive is not trial by error. The author discusses how she administered an entire neuropsychological battery without ever reviewing the measures with a supervisor. Absurd. I took several classes and was supervised for weeks before giving my own battery.
Second, the way the author speaks about and to her supervisors and co-workers is appalling. I wouldn't dream of saying "Fuck you" to even my least favorite supervisor, much less engaging in romantic behvaior with a collague at a training site. She comes across as completely rude, unprofessional, and judgmental, often showing little to no empathy or compassion to those around her.
Third, the author often uses language that I feel minimizes the severity of mental health issues. She talks lightly about teens competing to be the best anorexic. She describes, on several occasions, severe physical intimate partner violence as "
sadomasochistic relationships." In her narrative, she often refers to her patients as "sweetheart" and "darling". The amount of physical contact she makes with nearly all patients is also inappropriate. When referring to a sexually abused child she states "I started to rock her as she sat into my body, her back against my chest, her legs inside mine. 'OK, sweetheart. Shh, darling. It's OK. I'm sorry, darling.'" It all feels uncomfortable, like she is a loving mother, sister, or friend, not a professional. At one point she is working with a "famous designer" in a HIV/AIDS clinic and states that she cannot wait to tell her friends, a direct violation of confidentiality.
Finally, she glosses over the fact that her supervisor offered to complete her dissertation statistics for her, a project that often takes students years of hard work to complete. While clinical psychology students do receive much training as clinicians, there is also an emphasis on research, often with the purpose of ensuring that interventions are informed by science.
I personally understand that completing clinical rotations as a clinical psychology student is difficult, and everyone makes judgements and makes mistakes. I also understand that the author completed her training at a different University and at a different time than I. I do not believe that this book is a positive representation of what it takes to "make" a clinical psychologist, much less of the complexity that is psychology.
June 17, 2019
4.5 stars. This is a riveting look at the early career of an NHS psychologist in London. Every six months while qualifying as a doctor, she was shifted to a new placement in a different facility.
She worked with aged people moving into dementia while having flashbacks of the Holocaust, abused and aggressive children, suicidal teens, sociopathic, abusive men, couples needing sex therapy, patients dying of AIDS, and many more.
Composites of the people she worked with are visited in these pages. It was an absolutely gripping read, but not a light or happy one. It gave me quite an appreciation for the challenges faced by mental health professionals. She has a terrific writing style that is easy to sink into and I found this hard to put down. Definitely recommended, if you're in the mood for some rather hard-hitting stuff.
She worked with aged people moving into dementia while having flashbacks of the Holocaust, abused and aggressive children, suicidal teens, sociopathic, abusive men, couples needing sex therapy, patients dying of AIDS, and many more.
Composites of the people she worked with are visited in these pages. It was an absolutely gripping read, but not a light or happy one. It gave me quite an appreciation for the challenges faced by mental health professionals. She has a terrific writing style that is easy to sink into and I found this hard to put down. Definitely recommended, if you're in the mood for some rather hard-hitting stuff.
June 17, 2014
I find books about psychology and psychologists fascinating reading and this one is no exception. The author takes us on a roller coaster ride through her training placements and the type of patients she encountered. There are frightening, heart- warming and incredibly sad and beautiful experiences. I found myself in tears on several occasions when reading this book.
The book is searingly honest about the author’s own failings and about how difficult she found it to learn that not everyone can be cured. Sometimes attempted cures can just make the problem worse and it is not possible to take on everyone’s problems. I thought she conveyed the essence of her prickly relationship with her supervisor extremely well and how she resented as well as welcomed her trenchant comments.
Some of the people she describes in this book are unforgettable. Ray the sociopath who manipulates everyone. Tom who is HIV positive and doesn’t have long to live. Imogen who at twelve has seen more of the evil side of human nature than many will see in a lifetime. Mollie – bright, intelligent and with the whole world at her feet and who wants to starve herself to death because her body is too fat. Harold – highly educated, who survived the horrors of the concentration camps only to slide into dementia in later life.
The book is very well written and really brings to life what it is like to work with people with mental health problems. It also showed me how close to such problems we all are throughout our lives. There is a useful list of resources at the end of the book for anyone who feels they may need help.
The book is searingly honest about the author’s own failings and about how difficult she found it to learn that not everyone can be cured. Sometimes attempted cures can just make the problem worse and it is not possible to take on everyone’s problems. I thought she conveyed the essence of her prickly relationship with her supervisor extremely well and how she resented as well as welcomed her trenchant comments.
Some of the people she describes in this book are unforgettable. Ray the sociopath who manipulates everyone. Tom who is HIV positive and doesn’t have long to live. Imogen who at twelve has seen more of the evil side of human nature than many will see in a lifetime. Mollie – bright, intelligent and with the whole world at her feet and who wants to starve herself to death because her body is too fat. Harold – highly educated, who survived the horrors of the concentration camps only to slide into dementia in later life.
The book is very well written and really brings to life what it is like to work with people with mental health problems. It also showed me how close to such problems we all are throughout our lives. There is a useful list of resources at the end of the book for anyone who feels they may need help.
May 24, 2016
I’m generally fascinated about anything to do with psychology, so when I grabbed this book in a sale, I was very hopeful. That quickly died on reading just the very first chapter: she refers to trans people as “boys who want to be girls” and “ladyboys”, and remarks on that stupid cliché that oh, these men are prettier than her. She’s shaky on the correct pronouns, too — which always drives me crazy: even if you don’t “believe” in the existence of trans people (what?), what’s the point in hurting someone and disrespecting their wishes?
She’s meant to be a psychologist. And okay, at that time, there’s some leeway: trans people weren’t as well-accepted and understood, and she was just beginning her career as a psychologist. But she didn’t write the book at the beginning of her career, although goodness knows the naivete sometimes makes it seem like it. She should’ve known better.
The one thing I can commend her for is that despite all appearances in the actual narrative, she does explain beforehand that the people and cases described are composites, not any one single patient she had. Yay for some vestiges of respect for her patients and their confidentiality!
Overall, I rate this avoid avoid avoid.
Originally posted here.
She’s meant to be a psychologist. And okay, at that time, there’s some leeway: trans people weren’t as well-accepted and understood, and she was just beginning her career as a psychologist. But she didn’t write the book at the beginning of her career, although goodness knows the naivete sometimes makes it seem like it. She should’ve known better.
The one thing I can commend her for is that despite all appearances in the actual narrative, she does explain beforehand that the people and cases described are composites, not any one single patient she had. Yay for some vestiges of respect for her patients and their confidentiality!
Overall, I rate this avoid avoid avoid.
Originally posted here.
June 15, 2014
Tanya Byron was just twenty two when, after graduating with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from the University of York, she moved to London to begin training as a clinical psychologist. For three years, Byron divided her time between studying at the University College London while completing a series of six month clinical placements in various settings within the National Health Service. The Skeleton Cupboard, subtitled 'The making of a clinical psychologist', is a fascinating account of the challenges and triumphs Byron faced during that period.
The narrative of The Skeleton Cupboard combines Tanya Byron's experience of clinical training with her personal and professional development.
Byron notes that the case narratives have been created to show 'real people, real lives', and explore the complex, challenging and 'bloody sad' reality of mental illness and its treatment, but it is important to note that the cases she shares in The Skeleton Cupboard are composites, based not on individual patients but instead constructed from a range of clinical experiences. It is easy to forget that as each patient is utterly believable from the sociopathic Ray who threatens Byron with a knife in her office during her first placement, to twelve year old Imogen, suicidal after the drowning death of her younger sister, to Auschwitz survivor Harold suffering from the beginning stages of dementia.
The Skeleton Cupboard is much more than just a collection of case studies though. As Byron recounts her interactions with patients she also reveals her personal struggles as a somewhat naive and inexperienced young woman expected to treat patients presenting with a wide range of mental health issues. Byron admits that she often felt out of her depth, anxious about her treatment plans and her ability to help those in her care. Her own 'stuff', including the murder of her grandmother, occasionally interfered with her judgement and Byron sometimes found it difficult to let go of a patient when it was time to move on. I really liked Byron's honest revelations of her own failings and the difficulties she had in developing the skills needed to become a practitioner.
I found The Skeleton Cupboard to be a fascinating read, sharing valuable insight into the difficult role of a clinical psychologist, and the lives of those people in need of their help. Though I would particularly recommend The Skeleton Cupboard to someone considering studying psychology, I think anyone with a layman's interest in the field would enjoy this well written account.
September 28, 2014
This was the kind of book that the more I thought about it, the less I liked it! Initially I found the book refreshing- after all, there are not many books that look at case studies from the perspective of a trainee psych. But when I thought about it more deeply, I realised that much of the case studies (which the author insists herself were fictional) were in fact very contrived. Some, like the authors work with a famous fashion designer who ends up giving her a notebook full of his designs- are highly romanticised, and almost all- paint the author as the unequivocally pivotal person in her patient's lives. As a experienced educational psychologist myself who has worked with many children and their families, I know that the best outcomes usually happen when there is a multidisciplinary team. Byron elevates herself well above these teams- at times she is downright rude and patronising about her colleagues - I hated her description of the family therapist she worked with at the eating disorder clinic for example. Her relationship with her supervisor Chris was one of the more interesting and honest parts of the book- but even in that description she is frequently belittling (eg description of how disgusting she found Chris' s eating). The author's lack of humility is unsettling and inappropriate- even as she pretends to show herself as inexperienced trainee- it is like her adult narcissism seeps through- its such a shame- because an authentic and real portrayal of these earlier cases would have been a really worthwhile read..
January 14, 2019
I really wanted to like this. A glimpse into the experiences of a psychologist just starting out, thrown into a scary world of diagnoses and mental health issues, exactly where I am as a new psychologist. In the epilogue, the author did mention that she was conscious of being very open about her flaws and growing period of the time, but which I think is a brave and honest thing to do. But the main issue I had was with the disrespectful way the author spoke about some of the people she worked with. It's one thing to admit to thinking a certain way about some people at the time, while acknowledging that your understanding and empathy has changed since then. But I didn't feel that with some of them. In the very first chapter, she refers to transgender women as men/women and puts their female names in quotation marks. This might have been understandable at the time but pretty offensive in 2014, when the book was published. Glibly wondering how she could possibly empathise with anorexic patients when she wanted to lose weight (how lucky they can do it so easily) was pretty uncomfortable to read, too, and again, would have been far more palatable if she spends some time acknowledging the way those thoughts were probably unhelpful and unfair.
I also found it a bit concerning that she seemed to be free to take on pretty complicated clients with barely any training. I don't know exactly how it is (or was) done in the UK, but undergraduate psych is nowhere near enough to be competent to see clients by yourself here in Australia.
In the end, I think I was also expecting something different to what was presented. I've read a lot of books with interesting case studies, anonymised to protect confidentiality. In this book, being told repeatedly at the end of the book that the described people were completely fictional, with very neat narratives and an "aha!" moment at just the right time, made me wonder why it was placed in the non-fiction section.
I also found it a bit concerning that she seemed to be free to take on pretty complicated clients with barely any training. I don't know exactly how it is (or was) done in the UK, but undergraduate psych is nowhere near enough to be competent to see clients by yourself here in Australia.
In the end, I think I was also expecting something different to what was presented. I've read a lot of books with interesting case studies, anonymised to protect confidentiality. In this book, being told repeatedly at the end of the book that the described people were completely fictional, with very neat narratives and an "aha!" moment at just the right time, made me wonder why it was placed in the non-fiction section.
April 15, 2015
Byron takes us through the cases she dealt with as a trainee clinical psychologist. This was a wonderful memoir, full of interesting detail and written in such a way so it wasn't loaded down with jargon. At times you really felt for her and also for the issues her patients were facing. I was totally engrossed from beginning to end and finished it far quicker than expected.
June 12, 2022
Tanya Byron nimmt den Leser mit auf ihrem Weg der Ausbildung zur klinischen Psychologin. Die Fallgeschichten aus den unterschiedlichsten Bereichen wurden verständlich, spannend & nahbar erzählt. Man bekommt durch das lesen dieses Buches einen Einblick davon, was es heißt in diesem Berufsfeld zu arbeiten und wie wichtig es ist, hinter die Fassade zu schauen. Ein super interessantes Buch!
September 14, 2022
I read a lot of memoirs, particularly by those in the field of mental health, and clinical/forensic psychology has always been especially fascinating to me.
I’ve loved work by Kerry Daynes and other renowned authors, but this book stood out from the rest and I’m not even sure how to articulate why it’s so good…
It seems more personally revealing and more down to earth, if that makes any sense, and the 4 featured cases (I’m still unsure if they’re entirely fictitious or just tweaked to protect the identity of those involved) are just fascinating and very raw.
It also helps that this book is extremely well written and I’m sure Tanya could make money as a writer if she ever decided to leave the medical field (I pray she doesn’t!)
An excellent and deeply moving read.
4+ stars ⭐️
I’ve loved work by Kerry Daynes and other renowned authors, but this book stood out from the rest and I’m not even sure how to articulate why it’s so good…
It seems more personally revealing and more down to earth, if that makes any sense, and the 4 featured cases (I’m still unsure if they’re entirely fictitious or just tweaked to protect the identity of those involved) are just fascinating and very raw.
It also helps that this book is extremely well written and I’m sure Tanya could make money as a writer if she ever decided to leave the medical field (I pray she doesn’t!)
An excellent and deeply moving read.
4+ stars ⭐️
November 27, 2017
Gave up on this book pretty quickly due to some pretty gross transphobia and casual racism in the first chapter. Not good at all.
March 14, 2019
where does sanity end and insanity begin? Some of us are just lucky enough to manage the challenges of life ourselves or within our support networks and make them work for us
Fascinating read😍😍
At first I hate the narrator because she expect the impossible: cure and help all her patient but then I realized if I were in her position, I probably thinking the same way.
Here some my fav quotes:
Mistake number one: they don’t have to cry in the first session for you to be doing your job well. Leave that to the counsellors.
Mistake number three: if you ever feel out of your depth, then find a reason to leave and leave. This is a job, not a calling. If you want to save with self-sacrifice, then find a nunnery.
Mistake number four: if they want to show you something, do not take your eyes off them as they reach for it. We do telling in our profession, not showing. Leave that to the drama therapists
Lack of drama doesn’t mean lack of importance,’ she counselled. ‘Don’t get compassion fatigue. If you do, then this isn’t the job for you
If you think you can only do this job by having a perfectly rounded acceptance of all the shit in your life and also a complete understanding of the pain of your patients before you can help them with theirs, then dream on
The legend in mental health services is that in general a third of those we treat will get ‘better’, a third will stay the same and a third will get worse. We can’t ‘cure’ everyone, and this is not only because some cannot be cured’ – sometimes we just don’t know how to. In fact, the term ‘cure’ sits unhelpfully in any understanding of supporting those with mental health difficulties
I wish I could read this book sooner😍
July 19, 2018
Sehr eindrückliche Geschichten.
October 28, 2021
Door mijn eigen levenservaring lees ik zo af en toe graag boeken die gaan over psychologie en onderwerpen die daar in directe zin mee te maken hebben. Wat daarvoor de precieze reden is weet ik niet zo gemakkelijk uit te leggen in een paar zinnen, maar laat ik het kort houden en zeggen dat het vak van de psycholoog en aanverwanten vakken mijn mateloos interesseert. Exact daarom trok ‘Niets is wat het lijkt’, met de ondertitel ‘Waargebeurde verhalen van een beginnend psycholoog’, mijn aandacht en heb ik het goed betaalbare boekje (9 euro voor de pocketeditie van Uitgeverij Rainbow om precies te zijn) aan een kritische leessessie onderworpen.
Deze pocketeditie is een handzaam lichtgewicht boekje met dunne bladzijden dat je gemakkelijk mee kan nemen. Overal een klein lettertype en geen bijzondere opsmuk, hoofdstuknummering inclusief een korte zin onder ieder nummer die op de daarop volgende inhoudelijke tekst slaat. De omslag komt rustig op mij over, op de achtergrond een zijaanzicht in het blauw met daarop de schrijversnaam, titel, ondertitel en het regenboog logo van de uitgeverij in de rechter onder hoek. Op de rug staat tevens de naam van de schrijfster, boektitel en het logo weer. De achterzijde is wit met daarop duidelijk leesbaar opnieuw auteursnaam, titel, flaptekst en een korte bio over de auteur.
“Ik vind het niet prettig om deel uit te maken van een maatschappij die er geen moeite mee heeft om mensen af te schrijven, alleen maar omdat ze hun kwetsbaarheid laten zien op een manier die wij niet zo makkelijk kunnen accepteren, begrijpen en tolereren.”
Tijdens het lezen van de inleiding merk ik gelijk hoe gemakkelijk de schrijfstijl leest. Zoals naar mijn mening terecht op de achterzijde in een quote vermeld staat leest de gehele tekst als een roman. De bewoording komt absoluut niet hoogdravend over, zelfs de vaktermen van klinische psychologie zijn dusdanig beperkt en worden soms als ze wel voorkomen in de tekst verklaard. Dit spreekt in positieve vorm voor de schrijfster, laat haar persoonlijkheid zien, haar wil om haar beleving volledig over te brengen en je voelt haar betrokkenheid bij de zaken in het boek. Met een pure oprechtheid voor haar patiënten en ook met kritische blik naar haar eigen kunnen heeft ze met respect een bijzonder goed boek geschreven.
“De grote dingen kunnen wij mensen meestal wel verdragen, maar het zijn juist de kleinste veranderingen in ons functioneren die vaak de grootste betekenis hebben en tot de ergste wanhoop leiden.”
De diversiteit van personen en afdelingen waar Tanya tijdens haar opleiding terecht kwam en de met respectvolle openheid waarmee ze haar verhaal geschreven heeft laat de weidsheid zien in realistische, bestaande problematiek. Ook heden ten dage zijn de onderwerpen uit dit boek nog altijd van groot maatschappelijk belang zei het wellicht wat sommige dingen betreft op een andere manier. Ze laat hiermee echter zien hoe belangrijk haar werk is en tegelijkertijd hemelt zij zichzelf of haar vak geenszins op tot zaligmakend. Juist ook omdat ze naar zichzelf kijkt en haar eigen handelen onder de loop neemt. Hierdoor leest het boek fijn en ook enigszins emotioneel betrokken als het op mezelf aankomt, gezien die eerder genoemde levenservaring.
“‘Waarom zou je de wereld niet mooi maken? Dat is waar ik mijn hele leven mee bezig ben geweest.’”
Ondanks dat het misschien niet altijd gemakkelijk voor me was om dit boek te lezen kan ik toch zeggen dat ik content ben met het feit dat ik het boek gelezen heb. Het heeft me weer een inzicht gegeven op verschillende vlakken. Bijvoorbeeld hoe confronterend de opleiding tot klinisch psycholoog kan zijn, wat het doet met degene die de opleiding volgt maar ook hoe patiënten geholpen kunnen worden als de juiste klik er is of juist niet als die mist. Tenslotte is iedereen mens maar zijn de hulpvragen divers net als de uitkomsten.
“Ik leerde de vaste klanten van de drugskliniek beter kennen en genoot van het geklets in de wachtruimte; het is vreemd hoe ook zo’n helse plek al snel vertrouwd en bijna normaal kan aanvoelen.”
Het boek is een aanrader voor iedere lezer die een kijk wil in de gespecificeerde hulpverleners wereld van een klinisch psycholoog en dan met name gericht op onderwerpen die hopelijk ver van je af staan of zomaar ineens dichterbij kunnen zijn dan je denkt. Geen zware droge kost maar wel een boeiend, aangrijpend, goed geschreven, bijzonder relaas van een vakvrouw.
Lieve leesgroet, Elsa.
Deze pocketeditie is een handzaam lichtgewicht boekje met dunne bladzijden dat je gemakkelijk mee kan nemen. Overal een klein lettertype en geen bijzondere opsmuk, hoofdstuknummering inclusief een korte zin onder ieder nummer die op de daarop volgende inhoudelijke tekst slaat. De omslag komt rustig op mij over, op de achtergrond een zijaanzicht in het blauw met daarop de schrijversnaam, titel, ondertitel en het regenboog logo van de uitgeverij in de rechter onder hoek. Op de rug staat tevens de naam van de schrijfster, boektitel en het logo weer. De achterzijde is wit met daarop duidelijk leesbaar opnieuw auteursnaam, titel, flaptekst en een korte bio over de auteur.
“Ik vind het niet prettig om deel uit te maken van een maatschappij die er geen moeite mee heeft om mensen af te schrijven, alleen maar omdat ze hun kwetsbaarheid laten zien op een manier die wij niet zo makkelijk kunnen accepteren, begrijpen en tolereren.”
Tijdens het lezen van de inleiding merk ik gelijk hoe gemakkelijk de schrijfstijl leest. Zoals naar mijn mening terecht op de achterzijde in een quote vermeld staat leest de gehele tekst als een roman. De bewoording komt absoluut niet hoogdravend over, zelfs de vaktermen van klinische psychologie zijn dusdanig beperkt en worden soms als ze wel voorkomen in de tekst verklaard. Dit spreekt in positieve vorm voor de schrijfster, laat haar persoonlijkheid zien, haar wil om haar beleving volledig over te brengen en je voelt haar betrokkenheid bij de zaken in het boek. Met een pure oprechtheid voor haar patiënten en ook met kritische blik naar haar eigen kunnen heeft ze met respect een bijzonder goed boek geschreven.
“De grote dingen kunnen wij mensen meestal wel verdragen, maar het zijn juist de kleinste veranderingen in ons functioneren die vaak de grootste betekenis hebben en tot de ergste wanhoop leiden.”
De diversiteit van personen en afdelingen waar Tanya tijdens haar opleiding terecht kwam en de met respectvolle openheid waarmee ze haar verhaal geschreven heeft laat de weidsheid zien in realistische, bestaande problematiek. Ook heden ten dage zijn de onderwerpen uit dit boek nog altijd van groot maatschappelijk belang zei het wellicht wat sommige dingen betreft op een andere manier. Ze laat hiermee echter zien hoe belangrijk haar werk is en tegelijkertijd hemelt zij zichzelf of haar vak geenszins op tot zaligmakend. Juist ook omdat ze naar zichzelf kijkt en haar eigen handelen onder de loop neemt. Hierdoor leest het boek fijn en ook enigszins emotioneel betrokken als het op mezelf aankomt, gezien die eerder genoemde levenservaring.
“‘Waarom zou je de wereld niet mooi maken? Dat is waar ik mijn hele leven mee bezig ben geweest.’”
Ondanks dat het misschien niet altijd gemakkelijk voor me was om dit boek te lezen kan ik toch zeggen dat ik content ben met het feit dat ik het boek gelezen heb. Het heeft me weer een inzicht gegeven op verschillende vlakken. Bijvoorbeeld hoe confronterend de opleiding tot klinisch psycholoog kan zijn, wat het doet met degene die de opleiding volgt maar ook hoe patiënten geholpen kunnen worden als de juiste klik er is of juist niet als die mist. Tenslotte is iedereen mens maar zijn de hulpvragen divers net als de uitkomsten.
“Ik leerde de vaste klanten van de drugskliniek beter kennen en genoot van het geklets in de wachtruimte; het is vreemd hoe ook zo’n helse plek al snel vertrouwd en bijna normaal kan aanvoelen.”
Het boek is een aanrader voor iedere lezer die een kijk wil in de gespecificeerde hulpverleners wereld van een klinisch psycholoog en dan met name gericht op onderwerpen die hopelijk ver van je af staan of zomaar ineens dichterbij kunnen zijn dan je denkt. Geen zware droge kost maar wel een boeiend, aangrijpend, goed geschreven, bijzonder relaas van een vakvrouw.
Lieve leesgroet, Elsa.
April 28, 2015
I gobbled up this book - very easy to read. The chapters could be read as stand alone or sequentially. I would recommend it to others as it is both informative and thought provoking.
Two problems;
1) Narrator
I really didn't warm to our narrator. She was whiny, childish and arrogant. Was she writing in the voice or a 21-25 year old or what? Honestly, I don't care - I just found her a right pain. Condescending about nurses and downright weird when it came to descriptions of her three girls, "The Lovely Rosie" must have been mentioned four or five times. The patient, fashion designer Tom had to spell it out - "we are not friends".
2) Fiction or Non-Fiction
Marked on the back as non-fiction but called fiction very clearly in the introduction and conclusion... Which is it? I would definitely say fiction - the stories were all so neat and linear/logical. I sincerely doubt that mental health issues are so easy to crack the code on. Where were the stories about how the student really didn't know what she was doing, couldn't help the patient, totally lost control of the situation or needed serious guidance from her superiors? The narrator - seemed to always get it right, with suspicious frequency. From managing the knife man in the first story to saving everyone who wanted to be saved!
The failures were brushed over and blamed on the patient's,"who don't want help", e.g. The pregnant drug user. Personally I would have preferred more of those stories - about why you can't help some people and how frustrating it must be when you can't help or don't know how.
Despite the harsh review - I did enjoy this and would recommend it.
Two problems;
1) Narrator
I really didn't warm to our narrator. She was whiny, childish and arrogant. Was she writing in the voice or a 21-25 year old or what? Honestly, I don't care - I just found her a right pain. Condescending about nurses and downright weird when it came to descriptions of her three girls, "The Lovely Rosie" must have been mentioned four or five times. The patient, fashion designer Tom had to spell it out - "we are not friends".
2) Fiction or Non-Fiction
Marked on the back as non-fiction but called fiction very clearly in the introduction and conclusion... Which is it? I would definitely say fiction - the stories were all so neat and linear/logical. I sincerely doubt that mental health issues are so easy to crack the code on. Where were the stories about how the student really didn't know what she was doing, couldn't help the patient, totally lost control of the situation or needed serious guidance from her superiors? The narrator - seemed to always get it right, with suspicious frequency. From managing the knife man in the first story to saving everyone who wanted to be saved!
The failures were brushed over and blamed on the patient's,"who don't want help", e.g. The pregnant drug user. Personally I would have preferred more of those stories - about why you can't help some people and how frustrating it must be when you can't help or don't know how.
Despite the harsh review - I did enjoy this and would recommend it.
February 14, 2015
I picked up this book after reading Irvin Yalom's Love's Executioner, thinking it was going to be another journey through the therapist-patient relationship, only now from the eyes of a beginner in the field. I was disappointed. Not because the characters and stories were fictional; like Tanya says, these stories exist in each on of us to some extent. I was disappointed because Tanya only touched the surface of each story, leaving the reader craving to know more about each case. I feel like the book lacked depth, even when it came to the "making of a clinical psychologist". I kept feeling like there should be more to the story. Nevertheless, reading about the diversity of cases encountered so early on in a clinical psychologists training was intriguing.
May 11, 2016
This book should have been really interesting, but it was sort of meh. I went into it knowing that these stories were fictional (despite being classified as nonfiction..), but that just made the stories seem really contrived. In each story, she has a critical, life-changing role. Each story is also neatly presented and as soon as diagnosis or cure or a big revelation happens, the story ends and we're on the next one. No real depth- they come off as sanitized; hardly any mess. Although I liked a few of the stories, some of them were too much. The relationship with the world-famous fashion designer? Weird.
I found the narrator to be somewhat annoying as well. She is often whiny and needy with her supervisor. Too many anecdotes of her friends. They weren't really necessary to the book.
I found the narrator to be somewhat annoying as well. She is often whiny and needy with her supervisor. Too many anecdotes of her friends. They weren't really necessary to the book.
June 9, 2015
An interesting read, with some fascinating yet tragic cases. Well written with a good style that is engaging and not at all patronising. This book is all about her experiences while training. I would have liked more on her recent cases specialising in children/adolescents; I expect that will be in a subsequent book!!
January 8, 2021
Where do I start?
The incredibly whinney narrator?
The supposed non-fictional premise of the book but ended up looking like a badly-compiled stack of typical tropes and tragic plots?
SPOILERS
Before I begin my much anticipated gleeful bashing, I want to disclose that this book was not a total throwaway. I did tear up at some emotional scenes, particularly when talking about the patients' hard lives. The stories were relatively engaging, and I was curious about their backstories and what would ensue. It gave me a minute insight into the psychological problems different people face- from sexual performance, eating disorders, holocaust trauma and people with HIV. But beyond that, the problem was that they were written into a narrative-dramatised and fluffed in a manner that made me forget that the book was non-fictional altogether, giving me a sense of detachment from reality.
Something felt off from the first chapter, it was the careful crafting of words and "coincidental" scenarios that could only occur in books. In what universe does a janitor take upon himself to be an intern's personal tour guide and dedicated tea server, and be welcomed by a psychotic patient who was free to wander around staff premises while singing the sound of music, welcomes her warmly like she is a VIP of a hospital? If she that noticeable and important?
The entire book, I get the uneasy subtle sense that the author is channeling these "inspired" characters to indirectly compliment herself. In the first book the sociopath compliments her amazing blue eyes, her facial structure etc. over and over and over and over again. Then in other scenes people tell her how pretty she looks, could be a model, etc. Even in the case that people did tell her this in real life, I do not see any purpose in her consciously deciding that it was a worthy conversational topic to include into this bookother than to praise herself.
1. Weird, childish writing
In the epilogue, the author talks about how she intentionally wrote the book in a younger, arrogant and naive version of her. Fair enough. But as a 24 (I really forgot and cannot be bothered to remember her age) year old master's student doing her dissertation, I highly doubt that her cognitive process and vocabulary was that of a 14 year old. Here are just a few examples of her weird narration:
It was a wild place a place of heavenly debauchery. Beautiful men wanting beautiful men and beautiful women watching those excellently sexy girls who wanted something more than the sexy boys.
(This one speaks for itself)
He was charming. In the chaos of the early morning walk-in clinic he was clearly “the man”, the alpha male. the receptionist loved him, there nurses loved him, and so did I-we were his pride. Being a competitive kind of gal I decided that I would be number one lioness.
The sexy shrink
(A badly wounded woman abused by her boyfriend entered the clinic): A nurse came to deal with the bruises, and then left once her task was over- I knew she wanted to be me, staying in the room with him.
(As cringe as this was to read, I still do not understand her decision to include her personal love/sex/lust life into a book that was for readers with an interest in clinical psychology, its occupation and patients. I have no interest in her lust life. While she did disclose in the epilogue that she wanted to infuse her own thoughts, life and struggles that evolve together with her patients, I had no interest in her drooling over the "alpha male". With that being said, I can relate to her young arrogant self about being convinced that she was special and different from everyone else, or craving for his attention. With that being said, did she HAVE to use the word "lioness" to describe herself? And "gal"?? maybe its an 80s thing.)
2. The "convenient" plots
There is a scene where the author went to her gay bar with "her gals/girls". They progressively get rekted and all go home until she is alone. It is then she happens to see her strict and cold mentor, Chris, passing the cooties to Anne, her current clinical attachment supervisor. This is significant because when Chris first brought the author to Anne for introductions and orientation, the two of them were extremely passive aggressive, savage and were retorting at each other the entire time.
I saw Chris and and slow dancing. I was transfixed, my magical thinking telling me that while I stared at them they wouldn’t see me. and they didn’t because they will only looking at one another. They kissed. And so Dr Chris locked lips with Dr Anne while Dr Anne pressed her mouth to Dr Chris’s. I was rooted to the spot.
I am not saying the author is a lying pants on fire, but the sheer chances of her spotting them in the gay bar she was in, alone, without her friends and she still chose to stay on, kissing, is kinda sus.
3. The terrible childish writing
As discussed above, I think the author went a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitle overboard with the "in-the-perspective-of-my-younger-self" thing. The writing was really hard to get through at times.
They became suspicious we were not allowed to fail at anything-not even being naughty eating-disordered girls.
just.....i don't know. Maybe I am being too fussy.
4. The patients
While the stories of the patients intrigued me, it always striked me that the author almost always manage to make a significant breakthrough that multiple professionals, whole teams, for the past numerous years, have failed to do. Whether she is truly talented, I cannot say (although her mentor says she is really good so there is that). Why do so many patients like to randomly break out into song? Imogen, Harold, The Maria chick (and then the author JOINS IN with her singing), etc. Is that an actual thing? Mental healthcare professionals please verify.
5. Her girlfriends
Scenes with her "gal" friends were hard to get through. They were like any typical white girl movie scene types, drinking wine, hanging out etc. There's a way that she narrates them that seems off to me. she introduces each of them, giving them multiple details about each of them, but are useless and all slip away the moment I move on to the next sentence because they don't even get distinct personalities or roles in the book. And when she brings them up again, she always pairs it with an attribute (oh thats Rosie, the one with a lot of degrees but like shes not as smart as the rest of them but like thats ok cos like shes like got high EQ and stuff). It's these "details" that hint some degree of shallowness or even condescending towards her friends, making them seemed watered down to bare minimum constructs that define their whole being.
When talking about Rosie at one point, the author says
she may not have been the most successful of all of us in applied IQ terms but by God she outdid us all in her emotional intelligence..
When Rosie was helping the author out with her diagnostic assessment and Rosie was saying something, the sentence starts like this:
Rosie with her endless degrees and her immense emotional intelligence.......
Ok we get it??? Shes like super flimsy, indecisive but she HAS EQ!!! You can tell that the author tried to represent her friends in the book like a shoutout to her inner circle of sorts, but they were so insignificant to the reader that they were a blob of random faceless chicks, and the fact that the author was trying so hard to squeeze in "character" into each one, and heavily dependent on descriptions like "the one who goes to uni" or "the one who is doing (i totally forgot everything else)", it really backfired and make them look more dull than if she had not tried so hard, and instead let them be normal side characters.
I also did not mention that random girl's night scene where they try out different outfits on her for the funeral she was attending. Was the point of the scene to show how valuable her friendship support was and reflect on how she impacts other's lives because she talked to them to face death and plan out their own funerals, just as the gay people did in her attachment?
There is so much not to like about this book, and I remain dubious about the integrity of the cases. Granted, that was not even her goal in the first place. She wanted abstract versions of her experiences to feature in her fictional story, more like. And that certainly would have been fine if it was marketed as such. She is certainly not a good writer, with limited vocabulary (naughty? gal? sexy shrink??) Maybe it was her writing style, but it just left me with a sour taste in my mouth that the author is sort of into herself. maybe. maybe not. but that's what i got from the book. Her "intentional" inclusion of her past actions and mindset not an excuse, because it was ultimately what she chose to include and omit.
The incredibly whinney narrator?
The supposed non-fictional premise of the book but ended up looking like a badly-compiled stack of typical tropes and tragic plots?
SPOILERS
Before I begin my much anticipated gleeful bashing, I want to disclose that this book was not a total throwaway. I did tear up at some emotional scenes, particularly when talking about the patients' hard lives. The stories were relatively engaging, and I was curious about their backstories and what would ensue. It gave me a minute insight into the psychological problems different people face- from sexual performance, eating disorders, holocaust trauma and people with HIV. But beyond that, the problem was that they were written into a narrative-dramatised and fluffed in a manner that made me forget that the book was non-fictional altogether, giving me a sense of detachment from reality.
Something felt off from the first chapter, it was the careful crafting of words and "coincidental" scenarios that could only occur in books. In what universe does a janitor take upon himself to be an intern's personal tour guide and dedicated tea server, and be welcomed by a psychotic patient who was free to wander around staff premises while singing the sound of music, welcomes her warmly like she is a VIP of a hospital? If she that noticeable and important?
The entire book, I get the uneasy subtle sense that the author is channeling these "inspired" characters to indirectly compliment herself. In the first book the sociopath compliments her amazing blue eyes, her facial structure etc. over and over and over and over again. Then in other scenes people tell her how pretty she looks, could be a model, etc. Even in the case that people did tell her this in real life, I do not see any purpose in her consciously deciding that it was a worthy conversational topic to include into this book
1. Weird, childish writing
In the epilogue, the author talks about how she intentionally wrote the book in a younger, arrogant and naive version of her. Fair enough. But as a 24 (I really forgot and cannot be bothered to remember her age) year old master's student doing her dissertation, I highly doubt that her cognitive process and vocabulary was that of a 14 year old. Here are just a few examples of her weird narration:
It was a wild place a place of heavenly debauchery. Beautiful men wanting beautiful men and beautiful women watching those excellently sexy girls who wanted something more than the sexy boys.
(This one speaks for itself)
He was charming. In the chaos of the early morning walk-in clinic he was clearly “the man”, the alpha male. the receptionist loved him, there nurses loved him, and so did I-we were his pride. Being a competitive kind of gal I decided that I would be number one lioness.
The sexy shrink
(A badly wounded woman abused by her boyfriend entered the clinic): A nurse came to deal with the bruises, and then left once her task was over- I knew she wanted to be me, staying in the room with him.
(As cringe as this was to read, I still do not understand her decision to include her personal love/sex/lust life into a book that was for readers with an interest in clinical psychology, its occupation and patients. I have no interest in her lust life. While she did disclose in the epilogue that she wanted to infuse her own thoughts, life and struggles that evolve together with her patients, I had no interest in her drooling over the "alpha male". With that being said, I can relate to her young arrogant self about being convinced that she was special and different from everyone else, or craving for his attention. With that being said, did she HAVE to use the word "lioness" to describe herself? And "gal"?? maybe its an 80s thing.)
2. The "convenient" plots
There is a scene where the author went to her gay bar with "her gals/girls". They progressively get rekted and all go home until she is alone. It is then she happens to see her strict and cold mentor, Chris, passing the cooties to Anne, her current clinical attachment supervisor. This is significant because when Chris first brought the author to Anne for introductions and orientation, the two of them were extremely passive aggressive, savage and were retorting at each other the entire time.
I saw Chris and and slow dancing. I was transfixed, my magical thinking telling me that while I stared at them they wouldn’t see me. and they didn’t because they will only looking at one another. They kissed. And so Dr Chris locked lips with Dr Anne while Dr Anne pressed her mouth to Dr Chris’s. I was rooted to the spot.
I am not saying the author is a lying pants on fire, but the sheer chances of her spotting them in the gay bar she was in, alone, without her friends and she still chose to stay on, kissing, is kinda sus.
3. The terrible childish writing
As discussed above, I think the author went a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitle overboard with the "in-the-perspective-of-my-younger-self" thing. The writing was really hard to get through at times.
They became suspicious we were not allowed to fail at anything-not even being naughty eating-disordered girls.
just.....i don't know. Maybe I am being too fussy.
4. The patients
While the stories of the patients intrigued me, it always striked me that the author almost always manage to make a significant breakthrough that multiple professionals, whole teams, for the past numerous years, have failed to do. Whether she is truly talented, I cannot say (although her mentor says she is really good so there is that). Why do so many patients like to randomly break out into song? Imogen, Harold, The Maria chick (and then the author JOINS IN with her singing), etc. Is that an actual thing? Mental healthcare professionals please verify.
5. Her girlfriends
Scenes with her "gal" friends were hard to get through. They were like any typical white girl movie scene types, drinking wine, hanging out etc. There's a way that she narrates them that seems off to me. she introduces each of them, giving them multiple details about each of them, but are useless and all slip away the moment I move on to the next sentence because they don't even get distinct personalities or roles in the book. And when she brings them up again, she always pairs it with an attribute (oh thats Rosie, the one with a lot of degrees but like shes not as smart as the rest of them but like thats ok cos like shes like got high EQ and stuff). It's these "details" that hint some degree of shallowness or even condescending towards her friends, making them seemed watered down to bare minimum constructs that define their whole being.
When talking about Rosie at one point, the author says
she may not have been the most successful of all of us in applied IQ terms but by God she outdid us all in her emotional intelligence..
When Rosie was helping the author out with her diagnostic assessment and Rosie was saying something, the sentence starts like this:
Rosie with her endless degrees and her immense emotional intelligence.......
Ok we get it??? Shes like super flimsy, indecisive but she HAS EQ!!! You can tell that the author tried to represent her friends in the book like a shoutout to her inner circle of sorts, but they were so insignificant to the reader that they were a blob of random faceless chicks, and the fact that the author was trying so hard to squeeze in "character" into each one, and heavily dependent on descriptions like "the one who goes to uni" or "the one who is doing (i totally forgot everything else)", it really backfired and make them look more dull than if she had not tried so hard, and instead let them be normal side characters.
I also did not mention that random girl's night scene where they try out different outfits on her for the funeral she was attending. Was the point of the scene to show how valuable her friendship support was and reflect on how she impacts other's lives because she talked to them to face death and plan out their own funerals, just as the gay people did in her attachment?
There is so much not to like about this book, and I remain dubious about the integrity of the cases. Granted, that was not even her goal in the first place. She wanted abstract versions of her experiences to feature in her fictional story, more like. And that certainly would have been fine if it was marketed as such. She is certainly not a good writer, with limited vocabulary (naughty? gal? sexy shrink??) Maybe it was her writing style, but it just left me with a sour taste in my mouth that the author is sort of into herself. maybe. maybe not. but that's what i got from the book. Her "intentional" inclusion of her past actions and mindset not an excuse, because it was ultimately what she chose to include and omit.
October 10, 2021
Iedereen die mij een beetje kent weet dat psychologie en alles rond het menselijk brein (en dan vooral waar het verkeerd loopt: denk psychopathie, manie, etc.) mij mateloos fascineert. Ik was dus heel enthousiast toen ik ‘Niets is wat het lijkt’ bij Uitgeverij Rainbow zag voorbijkomen en het bovendien nog mocht gaan recenseren ook.
Dit waargebeurde boek leest als een trein en grijpt je vanaf de eerste patiënt naar de keel. Merk wel op dat het meestal over hele zware onderwerpen gaat. Ik besloot een tijdje geleden om mijn nieuwe reviews in briefvorm te gieten, en dit bijzondere boek mag hierbij de spits afbijten, hierbij mijn recensie, gericht aan auteur Tanya.
Dag Tanya,
Ik heb bewondering voor je. Voor je job als psychologe, je schrijftalent en je doorzettingsvermogen. Wat.een.job. In je inleiding zet je alvast de toon, wat een heftige gebeurtenis en eye-opener is dit? Diep intriest trouwens dat hierbij ook al meteen onrechtvaardigheid aan de oppervlakte komt, een draad die je wel ergens kan doortrekken in je verhaal den ik. Sommige mensen hebben het nu eenmaal moeilijker dan andere.
Nou, jij werd alvast in je job gesmeten. Ik dacht bij je eerste (fictieve) patiënt (net als jijzelf denk ik); ‘Wat gaat dit goed!’. Dat ging dus helemaal niet zo goed en dit zou heel wat beginnende psychologen afschrikken, maar niet jou, jij bent een doorzetter. Buiten het feit dat Ray bijna je ogen uitstak maakte hij me vooral nieuwsgierig naar de rest van je boek/patiënten.
De verhalen van Imogen, Paul en Harold grepen me naar de keel en op het einde van ieder hoofdstuk dacht ik inderdaad telkens ‘niets is wat het lijkt’. Je zet je personages met heel erg veel respect neer en daar heb ik alleen maar bewondering voor.
Ik kan dit boek alleen maar aanraden, het is confronterend, rauw en heel eerlijk gebracht. Het brein blijft af en toe toch zo mysterieus en razend interessant. Dus bedankt Tanya, voor je vlot geschreven verhaal en het delen van je bijzondere ervaringen. Breng je geen vervolg uit? Dan zet ik alvast een kop donkerbruine, sterk en zoete thee.
Lauren
PS: ik heb ook vaak last van het Frankl-effect.
‘Op een privéschool voor alleen meisjes zitten is de beste manier om de sport van de eetstoornis perfect onder de knie te krijgen, en tegen de tijd dat ik veertien was, was een aantal van mijn vriendinnen goed voor olympisch goud’.
Dit waargebeurde boek leest als een trein en grijpt je vanaf de eerste patiënt naar de keel. Merk wel op dat het meestal over hele zware onderwerpen gaat. Ik besloot een tijdje geleden om mijn nieuwe reviews in briefvorm te gieten, en dit bijzondere boek mag hierbij de spits afbijten, hierbij mijn recensie, gericht aan auteur Tanya.
Dag Tanya,
Ik heb bewondering voor je. Voor je job als psychologe, je schrijftalent en je doorzettingsvermogen. Wat.een.job. In je inleiding zet je alvast de toon, wat een heftige gebeurtenis en eye-opener is dit? Diep intriest trouwens dat hierbij ook al meteen onrechtvaardigheid aan de oppervlakte komt, een draad die je wel ergens kan doortrekken in je verhaal den ik. Sommige mensen hebben het nu eenmaal moeilijker dan andere.
Nou, jij werd alvast in je job gesmeten. Ik dacht bij je eerste (fictieve) patiënt (net als jijzelf denk ik); ‘Wat gaat dit goed!’. Dat ging dus helemaal niet zo goed en dit zou heel wat beginnende psychologen afschrikken, maar niet jou, jij bent een doorzetter. Buiten het feit dat Ray bijna je ogen uitstak maakte hij me vooral nieuwsgierig naar de rest van je boek/patiënten.
De verhalen van Imogen, Paul en Harold grepen me naar de keel en op het einde van ieder hoofdstuk dacht ik inderdaad telkens ‘niets is wat het lijkt’. Je zet je personages met heel erg veel respect neer en daar heb ik alleen maar bewondering voor.
Ik kan dit boek alleen maar aanraden, het is confronterend, rauw en heel eerlijk gebracht. Het brein blijft af en toe toch zo mysterieus en razend interessant. Dus bedankt Tanya, voor je vlot geschreven verhaal en het delen van je bijzondere ervaringen. Breng je geen vervolg uit? Dan zet ik alvast een kop donkerbruine, sterk en zoete thee.
Lauren
PS: ik heb ook vaak last van het Frankl-effect.
‘Op een privéschool voor alleen meisjes zitten is de beste manier om de sport van de eetstoornis perfect onder de knie te krijgen, en tegen de tijd dat ik veertien was, was een aantal van mijn vriendinnen goed voor olympisch goud’.
May 28, 2014
I am only giving it 3 stars because truthfully I only read the first 2 chapters and the last. I stopped not because it was bad. It is extremely well written in a filmatic way and maybe that was the problem. I am sure this will get many more reviews and discussion due to its topic but I just found it too traumatic. The first chapters covered a knife wielding sociopath? and the second the murder of a young child and child abuse. It was extremely interesting if you want to know about psychiatry and how people are treated. Its scary and horrifying but also uplifting. As Byron says, a third get better, a third stay the same and a third of patients get worse. It lifts the lid on mental illness and unpalatable truths we do not wish to face. There is no care in the community and not a lot of support. People do their best but inevitably mistakes are made.
When I have a stronger stomach I would like to finish this, not for the tragic stories but for the way the system works and Most Importantly an insight and understanding into a world that is pushed under the covers.
Part 2
So finally went back to finish the book and was glad I did. It is still traumatic and upsetting but uplifting and insightful at the same time. An interesting book although am still uncomfortable with scenarios that even though fictional must surely come from or influenced by real life cases. this is why it still has a 3 star rating as there is something a little self promoting by the writer. I can't put my finger on why this didn't sit well with me as it is well written and usually I am fascinated by this kind of book.
When I have a stronger stomach I would like to finish this, not for the tragic stories but for the way the system works and Most Importantly an insight and understanding into a world that is pushed under the covers.
Part 2
So finally went back to finish the book and was glad I did. It is still traumatic and upsetting but uplifting and insightful at the same time. An interesting book although am still uncomfortable with scenarios that even though fictional must surely come from or influenced by real life cases. this is why it still has a 3 star rating as there is something a little self promoting by the writer. I can't put my finger on why this didn't sit well with me as it is well written and usually I am fascinated by this kind of book.
January 30, 2020
This book is actually very frustrating. In the introduction the people whose cases are described in the book are revealed to be 'constructs which is just a fancy way of admitting they are 'fictional', as the epilogue describes them.
Byron centres herself as the hero of the narrative, solving tricky cases with genius insight. Except these stories are fiction... Meanwhile, her 'girls' are alongside to offer naive support; in the right places the 'sweeties' are scared, ignorant, dismissive and put on a teenage-esque fashion show to help her decide what to wear to the funerals of gay men who have died of AIDS. Often, Byron is able to teach them something, too, but she frequently comes across as just another teenager. She is often referred to by her colleagues and patients as 'sweetheart' and 'darling' and is repeatedly told how beautiful she is, what great bone structure she has, and so on; she is good enough to be a 'sex worker', in fact...
The book is marred by unhelpful cliches of transgendered people, gay men and anorectics. It does not read like a thoughtful reflection by someone with as much clinical experience as Tanya Byron.
Byron centres herself as the hero of the narrative, solving tricky cases with genius insight. Except these stories are fiction... Meanwhile, her 'girls' are alongside to offer naive support; in the right places the 'sweeties' are scared, ignorant, dismissive and put on a teenage-esque fashion show to help her decide what to wear to the funerals of gay men who have died of AIDS. Often, Byron is able to teach them something, too, but she frequently comes across as just another teenager. She is often referred to by her colleagues and patients as 'sweetheart' and 'darling' and is repeatedly told how beautiful she is, what great bone structure she has, and so on; she is good enough to be a 'sex worker', in fact...
The book is marred by unhelpful cliches of transgendered people, gay men and anorectics. It does not read like a thoughtful reflection by someone with as much clinical experience as Tanya Byron.
August 9, 2020
I’ve scanned over the reviews on this book, I can’t really see the reasoning behind the negative reviews.
I think this may be due to the concise content of the book, short and to the point chapters.
Everyone is touched by mental health and raising the awareness is important. I found the frank interactions with the supervisor to be insightful.
Not quite a warts and all, but enjoyable consumable read.
Ideal for the morning commute, if that ever returns......
I think this may be due to the concise content of the book, short and to the point chapters.
Everyone is touched by mental health and raising the awareness is important. I found the frank interactions with the supervisor to be insightful.
Not quite a warts and all, but enjoyable consumable read.
Ideal for the morning commute, if that ever returns......
August 12, 2023
loved this book from the first word to the last word.
her account of 25 years as a psychologist with real-life cases in London
her account of 25 years as a psychologist with real-life cases in London
April 24, 2022
This non-fiction book based on Tanya Bryon’s time as a training clinical psychologist is captivating from the first sentence. Each chapter focuses on fictional “case studies” inspired by different patients she worked with throughout her placements. The book is not only very easy to read but also extremely gripping and fast-paced. Although the chapters end quite abruptly - not ever resolving the individual’s problems - this almost emphasises her argument that not all mental illnesses can be “cured”, and some people simply don’t want to be. The reader must move on from these characters' lives like psychologists. In the epilogue, she states that “sometimes there isn’t an end to their stories because, however much we want to, as practitioners, we may not hear about them as they move on in their lives, and we move on in ours.” I also learned and understood more greatly about the struggles of training as a clinical psychologist in the NHS – it is a process of learning through experience, like many other professions. More than anything, giving the psychologists perspective on therapy humanised them as well as gave an insight into what the “other side” is thinking. A deeply touching and equally shocking book that brought to life the vastly different and complex mental issues that people in our society face.
February 4, 2024
Interessant om in de huid van klinisch psycholoog te kruipen. De verhalen van de patiënten zijn heel afwisselend en zorgen er daardoor voor dat je er helemaal in gezogen wordt. Door de afwisseling leest het gemakkelijk door.
Een hele mooie benaderingswijze van hoe om te gaan met mensen met psychische klachten. Wel was ik in de veronderstelling dat het om waargebeurde verhalen gaat, zoals op de kaft van het boek staat. Echter staat in de Epiloog dat alle verhalen totale fictie zijn. Dat was echt een teleurstelling, want hoe moet ik de beschreven patiënten nu duiden. Welke verhalen zijn écht zo complex en welke zijn samengevoegd uit meerdere verhalen?
Een hele mooie benaderingswijze van hoe om te gaan met mensen met psychische klachten. Wel was ik in de veronderstelling dat het om waargebeurde verhalen gaat, zoals op de kaft van het boek staat. Echter staat in de Epiloog dat alle verhalen totale fictie zijn. Dat was echt een teleurstelling, want hoe moet ik de beschreven patiënten nu duiden. Welke verhalen zijn écht zo complex en welke zijn samengevoegd uit meerdere verhalen?
January 11, 2022
I found this fascinating, no doubt partly because I work on in an adult mental health hospital. It's clearly aimed at the layperson and I found each of the fictional case studies interesting in their own right. Maybe I'm just nosey!
September 13, 2023
Hahaha wow can you imagine being a psychologist
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