What do you think?
Rate this book
Bender
Nineteen-year-old Mace Danner is a college freshman—and a male prostitute. He specializes as a submissive-for-hire to dominant clients. Mace has never experienced any erotic longings, but his profession satisfies much darker needs. He believes he deserves the abuse because he was responsible for the death of his brother. When ill-treatment at the hands of customers isn’t penance enough, Mace turns to the bottle, hoping to drink away the demons still plaguing him.
RA Dex Hammel doesn’t like the road he sees Mace going down, and he offers his help before it’s too late. There’s no denying the chemistry between the two young men, but a lingering lack of physical desire continues to confuse and upset Mace. He seems set on destroying himself, and Dex might not be able to save him.
RA Dex Hammel doesn’t like the road he sees Mace going down, and he offers his help before it’s too late. There’s no denying the chemistry between the two young men, but a lingering lack of physical desire continues to confuse and upset Mace. He seems set on destroying himself, and Dex might not be able to save him.
86 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 16, 2016
1 person is currently reading
210 people want to read
About the author
Gene Gant
17 books47 followersGene Gant lives with his family in a small, rural community in West Tennessee. He has been a ghost writer for many years and is looking forward to publishing more works under his own name.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews
October 3, 2016
4,25 stars for this heartbreaking story
It is my first book by Gene Gant, but it's not going to be the last.
This story captured my attention and it kept me glued to the pages from the first to the last. Having only 100 pages I read it in one standing, but I think I would have done the same even if it had 300 pages. I really enjoyed Gene Gant's writing style.
I liked the presentation. It made me very curious. For once I felt it didn't reveal TOO much. I think it reveals enough to attract your interest. Of course I wanted to discover more about Mace. His character is basically stripped bare from the start: he's 19, he works as an escort, he's submissive but has no carnal urges (asexual), he wants to be punished for causing his brother’s death. This only made me want to discover his story. And I even got much more than I expected. I really loved the way the writer described his struggling and especially Mace's guilt, the way he tried to accept the death of his brother and also his choices.
Dex Hammel was such a nice character, sweet, protective. He was exactly what Mace needed and I loved him even more when he helped Mace without pushing him. He melted my heart when he confessed to Mace that he doesn't want to be hurt again. He deserved better and he wasn't afraid to ask for more.
This was my first book about asexuality, but I think the author did a great job in describing it.
Mace was extremely well described and I loved the way both characters seemed to understand and accept each other. They learned to fight to have a future together despite their painful past. Mace is such a broken young man.
There were some scenes with a lot of violence, but everything felt possible, tough, REAL. I think the best word to describe this story is painful but it also gives you hope and has a sweet HFN (happy for now) ending.
Copy kindly provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
It is my first book by Gene Gant, but it's not going to be the last.
This story captured my attention and it kept me glued to the pages from the first to the last. Having only 100 pages I read it in one standing, but I think I would have done the same even if it had 300 pages. I really enjoyed Gene Gant's writing style.
I liked the presentation. It made me very curious. For once I felt it didn't reveal TOO much. I think it reveals enough to attract your interest. Of course I wanted to discover more about Mace. His character is basically stripped bare from the start: he's 19, he works as an escort, he's submissive but has no carnal urges (asexual), he wants to be punished for causing his brother’s death. This only made me want to discover his story. And I even got much more than I expected. I really loved the way the writer described his struggling and especially Mace's guilt, the way he tried to accept the death of his brother and also his choices.
Dex Hammel was such a nice character, sweet, protective. He was exactly what Mace needed and I loved him even more when he helped Mace without pushing him. He melted my heart when he confessed to Mace that he doesn't want to be hurt again. He deserved better and he wasn't afraid to ask for more.
This was my first book about asexuality, but I think the author did a great job in describing it.
Mace was extremely well described and I loved the way both characters seemed to understand and accept each other. They learned to fight to have a future together despite their painful past. Mace is such a broken young man.
There were some scenes with a lot of violence, but everything felt possible, tough, REAL. I think the best word to describe this story is painful but it also gives you hope and has a sweet HFN (happy for now) ending.
Copy kindly provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
August 3, 2016
My first Gene Gant book and I was pleasantly surprised.
I did read the blurb but once I began the novella I forgot about it all. So I kept wondering who the “boyfriend” would be, Dex the dorm resident advisor, or Troy the nice guy who calls Mace “Agent Danner”. Both seemed plausible options and both form a bond with Mace, so I wasn’t sure who would be Mace’s other half until the very first kiss.
I know I sound lame, but if Mace had chosen Troy, I would have been as happy as a clam.
Seriously, I wouldn’t have minded.
Troy is lovable, and when he finds out his what’s been hidden from him, he stands true to himself, even when it hurt him to no end. I love his integrity.
Dex is no less lovable, and he takes care of Mace even when Mace doesn’t want it. Or when Mace wants it a little too much.
Maybe that’s something negative to say, that the author didn’t manage to make me love Dex and long for Dex and dream of Dex as Mace’s only and truest love.
I’m not even mad.
This book is not about the love story. It’s about Mace. It was a blow living in Mace’s skin, living in his hopeless existence, in his self-inflicting pain and in his grey world. The narrator led me by the hand and I could experience the myriad of emotions Mace was feeling in every moment.
The asexual aspect is well portrayed, I honestly could relate to Mace’s words and impressions and confusion on the matter. I think this is the most sincere book I’ve read so far regarding asexuality. Not that I’ve read tons of books about it.
All in all, a compelling story of love and hope. Of forgiveness and healing. A hurt-comfort book. But also an amazing story, a trip to the deepest psyche and emotions barely contained and close to the surface.
***Copy provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.***
I did read the blurb but once I began the novella I forgot about it all. So I kept wondering who the “boyfriend” would be, Dex the dorm resident advisor, or Troy the nice guy who calls Mace “Agent Danner”. Both seemed plausible options and both form a bond with Mace, so I wasn’t sure who would be Mace’s other half until the very first kiss.
I know I sound lame, but if Mace had chosen Troy, I would have been as happy as a clam.
Seriously, I wouldn’t have minded.
Troy is lovable, and when he finds out his what’s been hidden from him, he stands true to himself, even when it hurt him to no end. I love his integrity.
Dex is no less lovable, and he takes care of Mace even when Mace doesn’t want it. Or when Mace wants it a little too much.
Maybe that’s something negative to say, that the author didn’t manage to make me love Dex and long for Dex and dream of Dex as Mace’s only and truest love.
I’m not even mad.
This book is not about the love story. It’s about Mace. It was a blow living in Mace’s skin, living in his hopeless existence, in his self-inflicting pain and in his grey world. The narrator led me by the hand and I could experience the myriad of emotions Mace was feeling in every moment.
The asexual aspect is well portrayed, I honestly could relate to Mace’s words and impressions and confusion on the matter. I think this is the most sincere book I’ve read so far regarding asexuality. Not that I’ve read tons of books about it.
All in all, a compelling story of love and hope. Of forgiveness and healing. A hurt-comfort book. But also an amazing story, a trip to the deepest psyche and emotions barely contained and close to the surface.
***Copy provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.***
June 22, 2016
3.75 Hearts
I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I chose this book. The blurb sounded twisted in a fantastic way and I was intrigued by the concept of an asexual masochist. However, Mace is not a masochist and this isn't a BDSM book. Mace blames himself for his brother's death and as penance he's become a male escort who specializes in "submission".
But it's not enough. It's never enough. So he keeps upping the stakes. I don't necessarily believe he's suicidal, but I think he has no concept of self-preservation. And nothing dulls his internal pain like external pain.
I was surprised by how much emotion and character depth Gant was able to achieve in a novella and impressed. I felt how isolated and lonely Mace was along with all of his self-loathing. I also felt the lassitude. He's pushed everyone that he ever cared about away and believes himself unworthy and maybe even toxic to others.
The further away I get from high school and college the easier it is to forget how difficult it can be to be different, to not fit in and while that's somewhat fashionable amongst the hipster generation everyone needs someone to understand them; it's the most important thing to Mace. His confusion and sense of alienation is the catalyst for a tragedy that becomes his own personal hell.
Until he meets Dex and Dex won't give up on him.
Dex is his friend and RA but he wants to be more, so he keeps hanging around, offering to talk, to be his friend and eventually Mace comes to trust him and, more importantly, finds comfort with him. I tagged it bisexual because he did have a girlfriend and some of his customers are female, but I'm really not sure if he's actually attracted to women or just grasping at straws out of his profound confusion over being asexual.
There is some chemistry between Dex and Mace, but I didn't really feel their connection as anything more than friends which is likely due to the length. I did truly appreciate that there was no magic cock and Mace sought professional help that was actually helpful, though I was disappointed that no one encouraged him to press charges against Wes.
The ending seemed a bit rushed and maybe too tidy, but I would definitely read something else by this author.
Recommend to fans of NA.
An ARC was provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I chose this book. The blurb sounded twisted in a fantastic way and I was intrigued by the concept of an asexual masochist. However, Mace is not a masochist and this isn't a BDSM book. Mace blames himself for his brother's death and as penance he's become a male escort who specializes in "submission".
But it's not enough. It's never enough. So he keeps upping the stakes. I don't necessarily believe he's suicidal, but I think he has no concept of self-preservation. And nothing dulls his internal pain like external pain.
I was surprised by how much emotion and character depth Gant was able to achieve in a novella and impressed. I felt how isolated and lonely Mace was along with all of his self-loathing. I also felt the lassitude. He's pushed everyone that he ever cared about away and believes himself unworthy and maybe even toxic to others.
The further away I get from high school and college the easier it is to forget how difficult it can be to be different, to not fit in and while that's somewhat fashionable amongst the hipster generation everyone needs someone to understand them; it's the most important thing to Mace. His confusion and sense of alienation is the catalyst for a tragedy that becomes his own personal hell.
Until he meets Dex and Dex won't give up on him.
Dex is his friend and RA but he wants to be more, so he keeps hanging around, offering to talk, to be his friend and eventually Mace comes to trust him and, more importantly, finds comfort with him. I tagged it bisexual because he did have a girlfriend and some of his customers are female, but I'm really not sure if he's actually attracted to women or just grasping at straws out of his profound confusion over being asexual.
There is some chemistry between Dex and Mace, but I didn't really feel their connection as anything more than friends which is likely due to the length. I did truly appreciate that there was no magic cock and Mace sought professional help that was actually helpful, though I was disappointed that no one encouraged him to press charges against Wes.
The ending seemed a bit rushed and maybe too tidy, but I would definitely read something else by this author.
Recommend to fans of NA.
An ARC was provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
June 22, 2016
I'm a fan of Gene Gant's writing and I really loved this. There are dark aspects to this story-the self hate and guilt Mace felt-balanced with his eventual growing acceptance of himself, and the sweetness between him and Dex. Loved it all.
July 11, 2016
For college freshman Mace Danner, pain is the only way he can atone for the death of his older brother ..... by hiring himself out to be beaten and humiliated by clients on a weekly basis. "Sometimes it's like the guilt piles up in my head and makes me crazy. [...] When it's like that, I want to be hurt, because the pain takes the guilt away for a while."
When Mace is ambushed by three fellow students (in a heart-wrenching subplot), his dorm RA Dex is drawn to help Mace. "You are the loneliest, most vulnerable person I've ever know. Every time I look at you, something in me breaks. When Mace becomes aware he is asexual ("Can I be bisexual or homosexual or heterosexual or any kind of sexual if I never actually want to have sex?") Bender beautifully explores the developing relationship between Dex and Mace as Mace wonders "How do I make him understand there is more to my desire than what he feels between my legs?"
Bender is very intense, for a short (80+ page) novella. The writing is very good and the plot holds your interest to the very end. Highly recommended!
I received an ARC from Harmony Ink Press, via Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review.
When Mace is ambushed by three fellow students (in a heart-wrenching subplot), his dorm RA Dex is drawn to help Mace. "You are the loneliest, most vulnerable person I've ever know. Every time I look at you, something in me breaks. When Mace becomes aware he is asexual ("Can I be bisexual or homosexual or heterosexual or any kind of sexual if I never actually want to have sex?") Bender beautifully explores the developing relationship between Dex and Mace as Mace wonders "How do I make him understand there is more to my desire than what he feels between my legs?"
Bender is very intense, for a short (80+ page) novella. The writing is very good and the plot holds your interest to the very end. Highly recommended!
I received an ARC from Harmony Ink Press, via Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review.
September 30, 2016
*A copy received via Netgalley for a honest review*
Bender
Well that was one little painful story. Young Mace full of guild after his brother died. He is punishing himself. To pay bills he is a submissive prostitute who comes on a call.
They hurt him.....bad.....
Then there are friends and friends of friends. And the last ones are bad.....very...
It's told from Mace pov and you can tell he is young.
He is lonely and hurt and confused by himself about his sexual feelings.
Then there is Dex who tries to understand where Mace is coming from and what his motivations are.
After some more awful abuse Mace is changing a bit.....
A entertaining little piece with good flow, the writing was really good.
I would love to know more about Mace and Dex how they co-operate in the future.
Bender
Well that was one little painful story. Young Mace full of guild after his brother died. He is punishing himself. To pay bills he is a submissive prostitute who comes on a call.
They hurt him.....bad.....
Then there are friends and friends of friends. And the last ones are bad.....very...
It's told from Mace pov and you can tell he is young.
He is lonely and hurt and confused by himself about his sexual feelings.
Then there is Dex who tries to understand where Mace is coming from and what his motivations are.
After some more awful abuse Mace is changing a bit.....
A entertaining little piece with good flow, the writing was really good.
I would love to know more about Mace and Dex how they co-operate in the future.
October 4, 2016
It was my first book by this author and I'm happy to say that I really enjoyed this novella. Mace's journey from self-destruction to healing was painful and a bit dark, and I sympathized with him all the way.
The writing style was simple and the narrative was in first person present tense, and while it's not everyone's cup of tea, I do think it suited the story well.
I loved the way the author chose to portray asexuality in his book. This was actually the first time I liked reading about an asexual main character in M/M romance.
Another thing that worked for me was a HFN ending, because usually I can't stand sappy happy-ever-afters. But I must admit that I was a little disappointed that Wes got off so lightly, I really wanted Mace to press charges.
***ARC provided through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review***
The writing style was simple and the narrative was in first person present tense, and while it's not everyone's cup of tea, I do think it suited the story well.
I loved the way the author chose to portray asexuality in his book. This was actually the first time I liked reading about an asexual main character in M/M romance.
Another thing that worked for me was a HFN ending, because usually I can't stand sappy happy-ever-afters. But I must admit that I was a little disappointed that Wes got off so lightly, I really wanted Mace to press charges.
***ARC provided through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review***
October 22, 2016
This review has been posted on Dirty Books Obsession
***3,50 stars***
This book was recommended to me by a good friend...Dia...who liked the book.The only thing she told me was that the main character is asexual and initially I was not really interesting to read about this.It is not a subject that I am interested to read in romance books but the description of the book made me curious because I love books especially when they are intense.
This book was interesting for me because it was the first book that I read where the main character, which here is Mace Danner ,is asexual. My opinion is that this book is more about the journey of a young man toward the light at the end of a tunnel and is not so much about romance . A journey which is full of pain, darkness, guilt, and self-punishment.
“I'm poison. I poison everything.”
Mace is lonely and broken inside and very confused about his sexuality...because he never been attracted to people ,sexually. He lives a secret life as a paid submissive escort to pay college and because he wants to be punished for his brother's death . Mace feels guilty for the death of his brother and I'll leave those who want to read the book,to discover while reading, why he feels guilty and circumstances that lead to his brother death.
My heart was broken for him when one night he has " a meeting with a client " and it turns into something else.Because of that night will begin a friendship between him and Dex Hammel. Mace,of course, he tries to keep him away but Dex is determined to help him .
Dex is the dorm’s resident advisor, where both live.He is a nice guy and I like him,but I would have liked to know more about him because I didn't feel so much the connection between Dex and Mace.
Why Mace feels guilty for the death of his brother?
Why does he feel the need to be punished?
Why did he not let anyone get close to him?
Will can Dex help Mace and convince him that he needs help?
Will their relationship become more than a friendship?
Mace will it be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel?
For those who want to find answers to these questions, I recommend you to read the book. Even if the book is short and is not a normal romance book because the main character is asexual the book is good and the story is interesting .
***Copy kindly provided via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.***
July 1, 2016
3.5 stars
This is not a book I would normally go for since I don’t really like reading about an asexual person. But this had so much hurt/comfort going on, that I still liked it.
This is written in first person present tense, but in this it worked. It made me feel quite connected to Mason.
It did have an overall depressed feeling. But I liked how Mason ended up with Dex and I liked that they did have sex. Mason explained it well.
“You’re not using me, Dex. I keep telling you, that’s not how I feel. I do get something out of letting you make love to me. I get the pleasure of your pleasure. I get the pleasure of knowing that I’m special to you.”
This is not a book I would normally go for since I don’t really like reading about an asexual person. But this had so much hurt/comfort going on, that I still liked it.
This is written in first person present tense, but in this it worked. It made me feel quite connected to Mason.
It did have an overall depressed feeling. But I liked how Mason ended up with Dex and I liked that they did have sex. Mason explained it well.
“You’re not using me, Dex. I keep telling you, that’s not how I feel. I do get something out of letting you make love to me. I get the pleasure of your pleasure. I get the pleasure of knowing that I’m special to you.”
June 16, 2016
Trigger warning:Physical Assault
So I've read a previous book by this author and loved it. I'm okay with the no sex on page and I love the cover. This was a little heavier then I thought it would be. Mace is a 19 year old who decided to sale his body for money. I'm almost certain he didn't need to do it. Yeah he's a college student and they have bills, and his parents had to move to Springfield, but he could have gotten another job. His reasoning for selling his body all was internally. He didn't get sexual gratification from sex. He doesn't even get an erection during these times. No with his clients he gets the humiliation and degradation that he needs to live on. He is suffering from an enormous about of guilt surrounding his brother's death. Mace hasn't dealt with it. It's as if he's just floating by in the world. He has no friends, he keeps communication between his parents to a minimum. He's an empty vessel in fact.
Along the way he meets Dex one of his resident advisers. I like Dex, but certain actions of his or his words confounded me. I mean, Mace explained some things, and went through some thing and you get frustrated about his performance. I was perturbed by that big time. He turned me off, and yeah I was able to forgive him. Mace went through a brutal attack that seriously pissed me off since one of his attackers was their at every corner he turned. I was so mad. It made me emotional because he couldn't escape and I'm so happy that he sought out help before his harmed himself. Not only is he dealing with this guilt, but he's dealing with his sexuality. He's never been attracted to people sexually. It fact he doesn't get an erection ever outside of his normal facilities. I do like the fact that he was able to get help and talk to someone. I'm not okay with the physical violence in the story, but it's life things happened. I swear I wish he would have reported it, but I know where he was coming from. I do like the author's style of story telling, and can't wait for more from him.
So I've read a previous book by this author and loved it. I'm okay with the no sex on page and I love the cover. This was a little heavier then I thought it would be. Mace is a 19 year old who decided to sale his body for money. I'm almost certain he didn't need to do it. Yeah he's a college student and they have bills, and his parents had to move to Springfield, but he could have gotten another job. His reasoning for selling his body all was internally. He didn't get sexual gratification from sex. He doesn't even get an erection during these times. No with his clients he gets the humiliation and degradation that he needs to live on. He is suffering from an enormous about of guilt surrounding his brother's death. Mace hasn't dealt with it. It's as if he's just floating by in the world. He has no friends, he keeps communication between his parents to a minimum. He's an empty vessel in fact.
Along the way he meets Dex one of his resident advisers. I like Dex, but certain actions of his or his words confounded me. I mean, Mace explained some things, and went through some thing and you get frustrated about his performance. I was perturbed by that big time. He turned me off, and yeah I was able to forgive him. Mace went through a brutal attack that seriously pissed me off since one of his attackers was their at every corner he turned. I was so mad. It made me emotional because he couldn't escape and I'm so happy that he sought out help before his harmed himself. Not only is he dealing with this guilt, but he's dealing with his sexuality. He's never been attracted to people sexually. It fact he doesn't get an erection ever outside of his normal facilities. I do like the fact that he was able to get help and talk to someone. I'm not okay with the physical violence in the story, but it's life things happened. I swear I wish he would have reported it, but I know where he was coming from. I do like the author's style of story telling, and can't wait for more from him.
November 1, 2016
I picked this up on a whim on Netgalley where it was offered as a Read Now from Harmony Ink.
Mason (Mace) is a freshman at college. He keeps to himself, he has no close friends, because he thinks he doesn't deserve any.
He supports himself by being having sex for pay with a specific clientele - he poses as a submissive in ads, seeking not the sex, which does nothing for him, but the pain his clients inflict. Mason believes that he deserves the pain, as a punishment for killing his younger brother. Guilt, shame, and grief are crushing him slowly, to the point where he has cut off even his parents, because he cannot look them in the eye, knowing he's to blame for Jamie's death. This is his coping mechanism, and it's a very destructive one.
The story, short as it may be, packs a huge emotional punch. Mason broke my heart. He's so sad, so alone, and he won't let anyone get close to him, not even Dex, the RA in the dorm where he lives. He doesn't understand why he can't feel sexual desire, why he isn't sexually attracted to anyone. He had a girlfriend in high school, but even with her, he felt nothing. His focus is on his atonement for his brother's death, even if it was an accident - Mason feels responsible, and therefore deserves whatever his clients dish out.
There's a scene about 25% in that sets the plot in motion, and I was thankful that the author chose to not be explicit about what happens to Mason. The aftermath was difficult enough to read.
From there, Mason enters a massive downward spiral, drowning his pain by binge-drinking alcohol, forgoing classes, and basically hiding himself in his dorm room. He is fortunately given help in the form of Dex, his RA. He feels oddly safe with the slightly older man, and while he still keeps his secrets, Mason allows himself to spend time with Dex. Their relationship forms slowly, with two steps forward, one step back.
Mason eventually gets an understanding of his sexuality - he's ace - and I thought this was really well done here, showing the reader how he craved cuddling and intimacy, but not the sexual acts. He learns that what he thought was abnormal really isn't, and that's a huge step on his way to recovery.
This book is dark and somber for the most part, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried a few times. I wanted to reach into the book and help Mason, help him see the truth, help him find his way back from the darkness. I was thankful that he had someone to look out for him, someone who got him the help he so desperately needed.
The book ends on a very hopeful note, and I felt that Mason was in a much better place by the end than when I first met him. The story has a rather realistic feel to it - it's absolutely feasible that someone's guilt, anguish, and shame would drive them to do what Mason did here. I only wish that the real Masons out there were all given the same help book Mason received. Sadly, I don't think that's the case.
Heed the warnings - this is dark, this will break your heart, but it's worth it. Go on this journey with Mason. Not recommended for younger teens, but young adults 16 and older.
** I received a free copy of this book from its publisher via Netgalley. A positive review was not promised in return. **
Mason (Mace) is a freshman at college. He keeps to himself, he has no close friends, because he thinks he doesn't deserve any.
He supports himself by being having sex for pay with a specific clientele - he poses as a submissive in ads, seeking not the sex, which does nothing for him, but the pain his clients inflict. Mason believes that he deserves the pain, as a punishment for killing his younger brother. Guilt, shame, and grief are crushing him slowly, to the point where he has cut off even his parents, because he cannot look them in the eye, knowing he's to blame for Jamie's death. This is his coping mechanism, and it's a very destructive one.
The story, short as it may be, packs a huge emotional punch. Mason broke my heart. He's so sad, so alone, and he won't let anyone get close to him, not even Dex, the RA in the dorm where he lives. He doesn't understand why he can't feel sexual desire, why he isn't sexually attracted to anyone. He had a girlfriend in high school, but even with her, he felt nothing. His focus is on his atonement for his brother's death, even if it was an accident - Mason feels responsible, and therefore deserves whatever his clients dish out.
There's a scene about 25% in that sets the plot in motion, and I was thankful that the author chose to not be explicit about what happens to Mason. The aftermath was difficult enough to read.
From there, Mason enters a massive downward spiral, drowning his pain by binge-drinking alcohol, forgoing classes, and basically hiding himself in his dorm room. He is fortunately given help in the form of Dex, his RA. He feels oddly safe with the slightly older man, and while he still keeps his secrets, Mason allows himself to spend time with Dex. Their relationship forms slowly, with two steps forward, one step back.
Mason eventually gets an understanding of his sexuality - he's ace - and I thought this was really well done here, showing the reader how he craved cuddling and intimacy, but not the sexual acts. He learns that what he thought was abnormal really isn't, and that's a huge step on his way to recovery.
This book is dark and somber for the most part, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried a few times. I wanted to reach into the book and help Mason, help him see the truth, help him find his way back from the darkness. I was thankful that he had someone to look out for him, someone who got him the help he so desperately needed.
The book ends on a very hopeful note, and I felt that Mason was in a much better place by the end than when I first met him. The story has a rather realistic feel to it - it's absolutely feasible that someone's guilt, anguish, and shame would drive them to do what Mason did here. I only wish that the real Masons out there were all given the same help book Mason received. Sadly, I don't think that's the case.
Heed the warnings - this is dark, this will break your heart, but it's worth it. Go on this journey with Mason. Not recommended for younger teens, but young adults 16 and older.
** I received a free copy of this book from its publisher via Netgalley. A positive review was not promised in return. **
December 10, 2016
Being my first Gene Grant book I had no expectations going in but was pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed the characters and actually wanted the author to delve into their stories a little more. There were times when I was getting so immersed into the characters and then the author pulled back. Something akin to being on the brink of an orgasm only to have your partner pull out and walk away.
Throughout the story I kept going back and forth between Dax and Troy as the perfect match for Mason. The chemistry was great between characters. I also enjoyed that the focus of the story wasn't about sex. However, I would have liked to have seen more intimate (not just the sex) but also the close, sweet personal connections between characters.
Overall Bender was a good read.
D 3/5
Throughout the story I kept going back and forth between Dax and Troy as the perfect match for Mason. The chemistry was great between characters. I also enjoyed that the focus of the story wasn't about sex. However, I would have liked to have seen more intimate (not just the sex) but also the close, sweet personal connections between characters.
Overall Bender was a good read.
D 3/5
June 19, 2016
This isn't BDSM. This isn't even romance. In fact, it's the heartbreaking story of a teen, asexual boy who loses his brother in a tragic accident. We live through the emotional and physical consequences with him. It is extremely well written with fantastic secondary characters. We're left with an HFN. I enjoyed reading this one. I love it when I land on something outside of my normal reading patterns.
*ARC received via NetGalley
*ARC received via NetGalley
October 8, 2018
This was a bit grey but I really enjoy the author’s writing style. Even in first person present tense this was a smooth read.
Mason is a really endearing character.
Content warning: Read the blurb thoroughly. It is exactly as it sounds. Triggers for
Mason is a really endearing character.
Content warning: Read the blurb thoroughly. It is exactly as it sounds. Triggers for
April 20, 2017
Surprisingly good for such a short work. The subject matter was compelling, though if you're looking for a good book to curl up with on a cold rainy day I would steer clear. This book is intense, and should be read in a cheerful setting with candy and tissues nearby.
Review copy provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Review copy provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
June 22, 2023
I didn't like this book. I could not for the life of me connect at all to Mason. Not to mention this book seemed to drag on for me. So much of the same thing with a slight variation, and I needed it to move quicker. I needed more than just Mason's depressing POV.
Read
April 4, 2017I don't normally shy away from books about heavy topics, but Bender made me kind of depressed. The combination of depression and self-destructive sex work—driven by the protagonist's angst over his asexuality—along with physical assault and rape was a bit too much for me. Considering all that, the ending felt too neat and tidy, as well.
Honestly, I don't know how to rate this one. I want to be supportive of books featuring asexual characters, but I have some questions about whether this book is really positive asexual representation or not.
Honestly, I don't know how to rate this one. I want to be supportive of books featuring asexual characters, but I have some questions about whether this book is really positive asexual representation or not.
September 27, 2016
*ARC provided by NetGalley*
4.5 stars.
This was a very intense, sometimes dark read. It certainly didn't sugarcoat the topics it dealt with, which managed to give it all the more meaning.
It deals with loss and grief and the consequences of not dealing (or giving the "dealing" the wrong approach) with those feelings.
It's treatment of the matter at hand, while raw and honest and transparent, was super tactful and tasteful. It made everything feel humanized, which in turn is another bonus for the quality of the writing.
Even at a short space (this was about 100 pages or so), it was nicely developed, with just the right steps in just the right pace. It also manages to make the reader feel for the MC and the circumstances he has to face.
What's most important. ultimately, is certainly the message it gets across in the end.
A great reading. I will definitely try more of this author at some point.
OH! And, last but not least... IT HAS AN ASEXUAL MC. PLUS! THE WORD ASEXUAL IS ACTUALLY USED. AND EVEN EXPLAINED TO SOME EXTENT! So, folks, thought I should drop that one there, because it could be of interest for someone out there ;)
All in all, I really recommend this one.
4.5 stars.
This was a very intense, sometimes dark read. It certainly didn't sugarcoat the topics it dealt with, which managed to give it all the more meaning.
It deals with loss and grief and the consequences of not dealing (or giving the "dealing" the wrong approach) with those feelings.
It's treatment of the matter at hand, while raw and honest and transparent, was super tactful and tasteful. It made everything feel humanized, which in turn is another bonus for the quality of the writing.
Even at a short space (this was about 100 pages or so), it was nicely developed, with just the right steps in just the right pace. It also manages to make the reader feel for the MC and the circumstances he has to face.
What's most important. ultimately, is certainly the message it gets across in the end.
A great reading. I will definitely try more of this author at some point.
OH! And, last but not least... IT HAS AN ASEXUAL MC. PLUS! THE WORD ASEXUAL IS ACTUALLY USED. AND EVEN EXPLAINED TO SOME EXTENT! So, folks, thought I should drop that one there, because it could be of interest for someone out there ;)
All in all, I really recommend this one.
June 28, 2016
4.25 stars
Very well done story of grief and forgiveness and healing. Definitely some tears with this one, but I don't feel like I'll walk around all day under a dreary emotions-cloud, so that's good!
I also like how the author worked with Mace's sexuality.
Gant's writing was solid, and I'm a huge fan of first-person present—but I know not everyone is. I'll definitely be checking out more of his stuff.
Very well done story of grief and forgiveness and healing. Definitely some tears with this one, but I don't feel like I'll walk around all day under a dreary emotions-cloud, so that's good!
I also like how the author worked with Mace's sexuality.
Gant's writing was solid, and I'm a huge fan of first-person present—but I know not everyone is. I'll definitely be checking out more of his stuff.
July 25, 2016
Copy from Netgalley.
This book was...interesting? Different? All of the above?
I was sure I knew roughly what I was getting when I started this book, but it completely took me by surprise. Its a dark story, but I LOVED that about it. It told the other side of romance. The one where life isn't perfect but you can make you own HEA. It just shows that everyone deserves love, and all you need is that one person to see you....really see you.
It was well written and if you like a different kind of romance, then this is for you!
This book was...interesting? Different? All of the above?
I was sure I knew roughly what I was getting when I started this book, but it completely took me by surprise. Its a dark story, but I LOVED that about it. It told the other side of romance. The one where life isn't perfect but you can make you own HEA. It just shows that everyone deserves love, and all you need is that one person to see you....really see you.
It was well written and if you like a different kind of romance, then this is for you!
July 2, 2016
***Beautiful Story***
Mace is so completely broken that he thinks he must subject himself to physical pain to atone for his brother’s death. Dex sees the beautiful young man and feels compelled to help, but how do you help someone who doesn’t think they deserve peace?
Bender is a gripping tale of pain, loss, grief, subjugation of self, healing, and love - all in less than one hundred pages! I was blown away by the incredible depths this short novella reached. While a romance in the truest sense of the word, and while there are sexual encounters, Mace is actually asexual, and this is the first book I’ve read where this particular label applies. The primary focus of the novel is Mace, with even Dex as the other technical primary character falling more into a role of peripheral character. The demons faced by Mace are so intricate and interwoven into his psyche that it takes all of the book to properly document them. However, in no way does that diminish the effect that Dex has on the book overall despite the lesser role. This is an evocative read, fully deserving of the five stars I’m granting it.
Please be aware that there are triggers in this book, including rape, psychological torture, and severe physical beating.
Mace is so completely broken that he thinks he must subject himself to physical pain to atone for his brother’s death. Dex sees the beautiful young man and feels compelled to help, but how do you help someone who doesn’t think they deserve peace?
Bender is a gripping tale of pain, loss, grief, subjugation of self, healing, and love - all in less than one hundred pages! I was blown away by the incredible depths this short novella reached. While a romance in the truest sense of the word, and while there are sexual encounters, Mace is actually asexual, and this is the first book I’ve read where this particular label applies. The primary focus of the novel is Mace, with even Dex as the other technical primary character falling more into a role of peripheral character. The demons faced by Mace are so intricate and interwoven into his psyche that it takes all of the book to properly document them. However, in no way does that diminish the effect that Dex has on the book overall despite the lesser role. This is an evocative read, fully deserving of the five stars I’m granting it.
Please be aware that there are triggers in this book, including rape, psychological torture, and severe physical beating.
September 12, 2016
Mace Danner is a 19-year self-loathing university student who believes it is his fault his brother is dead. His guilt over his brother's death makes him think he deserves to be punished. He seeks out punishment by becoming a submissive escort. Mace also struggles with his sexual identity not understanding himself & who he is truly attracted to & why he is never sexually by aroused. After a violent attack from a would be client, a couple of Mace's fellow dorm mates reach out to befriend the young man & help him with battered self. One dorm mate is Dax, his dorm Resident Advisor (RA). As Mace learns to open up to Dax, Dax points him in the direction to find help for him self-destruction. Once Mace finally accept help, he learns to cope with feelings & lose.
I really liked this book. It is sad but hopeful short story. I look forward to reading more from Gene Gant. The story is about a sexual identity issue & has M/M sex so it may not be for everybody. I would recommend this book.
I received an ARC copy in exchange for an honest review.
I really liked this book. It is sad but hopeful short story. I look forward to reading more from Gene Gant. The story is about a sexual identity issue & has M/M sex so it may not be for everybody. I would recommend this book.
I received an ARC copy in exchange for an honest review.
October 19, 2016
Bender by Gene Gant was a bust for me.
Mace Danner has been punishing himself for his brothers’ death since he was in high school. Mace has never felt right inside since he’s never wanted to have sex and doesn’t ever get the urge to do so. Instead he uses his body to make money so he can go to school. When one of his floor mates asks to hang out and he declines things begin to go downhill for him. Now Mace has to deal with people beating him up and the feeling of emptiness that is threatening to swallow him whole. The only thing keeping Mace somewhat afloat is Dex Hammel his floor RA.
Well Bender was…interesting I guess. I think it was just not my kind of book. Very down with few high points and not a lot of dialogue in the mix.
Mace Danner has been punishing himself for his brothers’ death since he was in high school. Mace has never felt right inside since he’s never wanted to have sex and doesn’t ever get the urge to do so. Instead he uses his body to make money so he can go to school. When one of his floor mates asks to hang out and he declines things begin to go downhill for him. Now Mace has to deal with people beating him up and the feeling of emptiness that is threatening to swallow him whole. The only thing keeping Mace somewhat afloat is Dex Hammel his floor RA.
Well Bender was…interesting I guess. I think it was just not my kind of book. Very down with few high points and not a lot of dialogue in the mix.
too-short-to-use
April 12, 2017I've never read about asexuality before in my life and this is the second book about it in one week. Wtf? My little pea brain still doesn't understand it but it didn't play such a huge roll in this book. This book was a story of a college freshman dealing with an unfathomable amount of pain and how he's trying to struggle through life. It made me teary and so very sad for him but there was some light at the end of the tunnel. Really enjoyed it.
June 17, 2016
3.5 stars from me. A tad disappointing really, so much more could have been said. No sex on page, and thank goodness the brutal attack Mace suffered wasn't on page either, but I didn't feel much of a connection between him and Dex at all....a strange read.
June 26, 2016
3.5 stars rounded up to 4. This was a depressing yet insightful novella. The premise interesting, the writing good. I felt lot more could've been fleshed out but my final thoughts? A sad but engaging read. I'd recommend it for someone looking for a quick story with tearjerker tendencies.
October 10, 2016
2.5 stars - an ok book, filled with angst, but though the main character is (somewhat) saved through love, there is no passion (as he is asexual). Maybe it just wasn't my cup of tea.
July 20, 2017
Wow. What can I say about this book except that I loved it. This story was heart-breaking and yet in the end the light of hope shone through.
Mace is a freshman in collage who works as a prostitute, a profession he took up to punish himself after his brother dies accidentally. Mace blames himself for his brothers death and he uses the pain from the encounters with his sadist clients to assuage the guilt he feels about his brother's death. When that doesn't seem to work anymore he turns to alcohol to numb his mind.
At college, he is a loner and avoids social contact with other students. But Dex, one of the student resident assistants, notices him and wants to help Mace from the slippery path he is taking. The question becomes, will Mace allow Dex in and accept the help on offer.
As I said I loved this story. I love the delicate and realistic way the author deals with different issues like rape, depression and even asexuality. I dare you to read this and not want to pull Mace in to a tight hug and chase his nightmares away if you could. I dare you not to shed a tear at his self-destruction and not cheer when he finally takes the slow steps to recovery.
I would've loved to see more development in the relationship between Mace and Dex. Although there isn't an explicit HEA, the happy-for-now ending also works well for their situation.
Highly recommended to anyone interested in new adult LGBTQIA fiction.
4.5 Lovebites
Mace is a freshman in collage who works as a prostitute, a profession he took up to punish himself after his brother dies accidentally. Mace blames himself for his brothers death and he uses the pain from the encounters with his sadist clients to assuage the guilt he feels about his brother's death. When that doesn't seem to work anymore he turns to alcohol to numb his mind.
At college, he is a loner and avoids social contact with other students. But Dex, one of the student resident assistants, notices him and wants to help Mace from the slippery path he is taking. The question becomes, will Mace allow Dex in and accept the help on offer.
As I said I loved this story. I love the delicate and realistic way the author deals with different issues like rape, depression and even asexuality. I dare you to read this and not want to pull Mace in to a tight hug and chase his nightmares away if you could. I dare you not to shed a tear at his self-destruction and not cheer when he finally takes the slow steps to recovery.
I would've loved to see more development in the relationship between Mace and Dex. Although there isn't an explicit HEA, the happy-for-now ending also works well for their situation.
Highly recommended to anyone interested in new adult LGBTQIA fiction.
4.5 Lovebites
August 17, 2017
I think I still like to read a dark book from time to time. With Bender, that's what you get. It's not happy at all. Potential readers should be careful for triggers because this book has many. There aren't too many things that happen on page, but it is the recover after that hurts the most. Knowing what he Mace probably went through. Everything he still goes through.
Bender is really a story about recovery, letting go of guilt (warranted or not) and learning to love yourself. Mace is also ACE. I'm not really sure I'm totally okay with how little this was discussed, but Mace figuring this out really does help him in a lot of ways.
It's a hard road for Mace, but he ends up finding some good help and that is where I found the story it's most compelling. I'm not sure I really agree with, or find it believable, some of the ways his therapist advises him, but I think maybe it's a snapshot of what needed to happen. Really, this is a short novella and there was not a lot of room to add in a whole lot of depth. But what there is, was promising.
I'd never read this author before. Given this book, I may try them again.
ARC provided via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
Bender is really a story about recovery, letting go of guilt (warranted or not) and learning to love yourself. Mace is also ACE. I'm not really sure I'm totally okay with how little this was discussed, but Mace figuring this out really does help him in a lot of ways.
It's a hard road for Mace, but he ends up finding some good help and that is where I found the story it's most compelling. I'm not sure I really agree with, or find it believable, some of the ways his therapist advises him, but I think maybe it's a snapshot of what needed to happen. Really, this is a short novella and there was not a lot of room to add in a whole lot of depth. But what there is, was promising.
I'd never read this author before. Given this book, I may try them again.
ARC provided via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
March 17, 2018
**I received a free ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review**
I loved this concept; an asexual masochist. But Mace isn't really a masochist, it isn't about sexual urges for him. The only way he can deal with the guilt for his brother's death is pain. That's why he rents himself out as an escort specializing in submission.
This was one heavy book, or novella really. But Gant packs a hell of a punch in 100 pages, which some authors couldn't match in some 300. I could totally relate to Mace, not on the same level of angst obviously, but I do know how hard it is to not fit in and to not measure up to certain standards. Dex was such a sweetheart.
In the end they felt more like very close, co-dependent friends than lovers. There were several questions and issues I had that weren't resolved in the end, because of the length. The end definitely had HFN feel rather than a HEA.
I loved this concept; an asexual masochist. But Mace isn't really a masochist, it isn't about sexual urges for him. The only way he can deal with the guilt for his brother's death is pain. That's why he rents himself out as an escort specializing in submission.
This was one heavy book, or novella really. But Gant packs a hell of a punch in 100 pages, which some authors couldn't match in some 300. I could totally relate to Mace, not on the same level of angst obviously, but I do know how hard it is to not fit in and to not measure up to certain standards. Dex was such a sweetheart.
In the end they felt more like very close, co-dependent friends than lovers. There were several questions and issues I had that weren't resolved in the end, because of the length. The end definitely had HFN feel rather than a HEA.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews