First Friday

by Tory Hartmann

A comic examination of a large Irish family’s struggle to maintain their old-fashioned religious and cultural traditions in modern-day California. With her lingering stutter and utter lack of fashion sense, everyone expects 28-year-old Agnes Anne O’Neil to remain under her parents’ roof forever. But she has other after years of inertia, she’s decided to obtain her real estate license so that she can get out of the back office at her father’s real estate firm. She decides to apply her increased earnings toward getting cosmetic surgery on her nose and chin. She also declares that, going forward, she’d prefer to be called “Anne.” In short order, the formerly timid Anne bleaches her hair blonde, makes two successful real estate sales, and meets a new guy. Meanwhile, her parents grow apoplectic because she’s no longer the rigid Irish Catholic isolationist that they thought she was. They call her cosmetic surgery self-mutilation, and they can’t stand that she has a Jewish boyfriend, Sheldon Goldberg; they also lament that Anne isn’t cultivating a life more like her sister Katie’s. Unbeknownst to them, however, Katie’s husband, Bruno, has been harassing Anne with sexual come-ons and innuendos. As Anne attempts to resist his advances, he begins devising schemes to make her life very, very difficult. In this debut novel, Hartmann takes what appears at first to be a romantic comedy and turns it, unexpectedly, into a thriller. As a result, there are many slapstick and laugh-out-loud funny moments throughout the tale, such as an elaborate prank in a church, but there’s also a darker undercurrent—a constant dread that Anne’s misgivings about Bruno might actually be right on the money. Still, the novel is filled with hilarious misunderstandings and moments of family strife, including a disastrous dinner in which Sheldon first meets Anne’s family. Overall, this fast-paced, plot-heavy tale is as riveting as it is cheeky. A witty, sensitive story that will satisfy discerning fans of family dramas. Kirkus Reviews

335 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 1, 2016

Reviews

[Linda Sharp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny but serious.

This story is a dramedy of an Irish Catholic family
who love and worship the Blessed Virgin Mary(BMV). But most especially, a 28 yo daughter who has vanity surgery to rid her face of her father's nose and her mother's chin. She stuttered until she took speech therapy. She did all of this because she wanted to improve herself and prove to herself and her crazy family that she was making a life for herself. I chuckled all through this story. To top all this she dated a Jew. Highly recommend this.
Her family , brothers, sisters, in laws and all the neices and nephews, has a religious ceremony every First Fiday,which is hysterical. This dinner is attended by her wicked brother-in-law whose main purpose in life is to deflower virgins, which happens to be the central character, 28 to Agness Anne.

[Brittany · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book. The characters were likable and I enjoyed the writing.

The O'Neils are an Irish immigrant family with a profound Catholic faith. The profound Catholic faith mostly applies to Agnes Anne and the parents. Agnes Anne is the eighth of nine children. She is essentially treated like a doormat by the majority of her family and is looked upon as the caregiver. She is nearly 30 and still lives at home with her parents. She was attacked in high school by her boyfriend, now her brother-in-law, and has a stuttering problem and an aversion to the opposite sex. If it wasn't creepy enough that he is now her brother-in-law, he continues to constantly flirt with her. The family doesn't know of the attack and do not see the flirtations. Agnes gets her real estate license and takes steps to better her quality of life. Her family continuously pushes her down.

What I liked about the O'Neils is the love they did show each other. They were a rowdy bunch but you could clearly feel the love. Although they did pick on Agnes quite a bit, which I did find very disconcerting. I do feel that this would have been avoided had she just told them of the attack immediately after.

I loved how the author brought the O'Neils to life. Each character had its own personality and identity. I also enjoyed learning about Catholicism and the Irish culture.

[Chris Collison · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was good

This book had it all.. It was funny at moments and sad at moments and absolutely aggravating at other moments. Agnes Anne is a devout Catholic along with her whole, large Irish family. At 28 years old she still lives at home and she is ready for a big change. She wants her life to really begin.. She goes under the knife and gets a nose job and a chin job and she gets her hair and nails done and she is working on getting rid of her stutter.. Unfortunately for Agnes Anne, her family is not too thrilled with her messing with Gods work and they are not shy about telling her. Also, Agnes Anne has started dating a nice Jewish man who her family isn't too thrilled about either. Her family is annoying but endearing. Her sister is married to a total pig who is always hitting on Agnes Anne but her family won't believe her. The lengths that this man goes to before her family sees him for what he is blows my mind but in the end everything is as it should be., I really enjoyed this book..

[Diane Secchiaroli · Rating 3 out of 5]

Virgin Mary

A very good novel about an Irish catholic family of 9 children, their spouses and grandchildren. The middle daughter wants to change her life and it’s the story of this transformation as well as a love storyline. The family dynamics are hysterical. There’s a lot to laugh at in this novel plus a side story of one of the daughters slow decline into death by the hands of the beloved son-in-law. It’s not an easy novel to get into as the writing is not that good but I persevered and ended up enjoying it.

[Carol Beck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Agnes Anne is a 28 year-old virgin in an Irish Catholic family. The family is big, loud and devoted to the blessed Virgin. Agnes Anne is trying to improve herself through cosmetic surgery, new job and a Jewish boyfriend. If that's not enough to keep you reading, there is also the fact her prom date tried to rape her and then married her older sister!

I just fell in love with Agnes Anne!

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are looking for a dysfunctional, hilarious, aggravating family to read about that will make you almost feel thankful for yours, you simply must read First Friday: How Virginity Almost Killed Me by Tory Hartmann. I have to be honest, my grandmother talked me into reading this because she though the title was hilarious and she’s Catholic. It took me a while to read because I would get so mad at the situations the main character found herself in I put the book down until I was so mad at her would be rapist/murderer/all around creep brother in law I had to pick it back up to see what Agnes Anne/Anne would do to straighten out the situation. The story is basically about Agnes Anne, who later goes by just Anne, is stalked down by her former boyfriend now brother in law because he wants to have sex with her because she is a virgin. Speaking of Virgins, it would help if you adore the Virgin Mary reading this book because she is almost a member of the family. As Anne sabotages his plans time after time, he sabotages her life and possibly that of her sister’s that he is married to.
The plot of this book is spectacular. The events that the main character Anne is subject to is infuriating and so real to the reader. I forgot to mention she starts dating a Jewish man in the summary of the plot and the love he has for her is one of the most pure and beautiful things I have seen. And may I say thank goodness for that because if that family couldn’t drive him away from her then he is in love with her! It was one of the sweetest loves I’ve read about without all the mushy cliché things you usually read in a love story. I love Anne’s character and how she is reinventing herself and stepping out despite her fears. I also really enjoyed Fiona’s character and her, breath of fresh air, common sense practical approach to life. I also really enjoyed Jude the snail; such a quirky perfect fit for a pet in this family!
The almost end of the book that I don’t want to give away in the review is hysterical and I nearly died laughing at the antics of this family. The fire in the church with the wooden Mary statue was one of my favorite parts of the book. The editing is also nicely done and the chapters were just the perfect length. Anyone who thinks they have a dysfunctional family needs to read this book. If you need a good laugh, so long as you can learn to just hate one of the most evil villains I’ve crossed paths with in a novel, his mastery of charm and narcissistic personality make him so easy to hate, you will absolutely love this book!

[Francine · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first reason that I chose this book to read was the cover. Something about it drew my eye and I’m not sure why because there isn’t really anything special about it. Maybe it was the contrast of colors but once I picked it up I saw that the story was a combination of two of my favourite things: the Irish and a mystery. How could I possibly go wrong with reading this book? Happily, I made a good choice.
Agnes, or Anne as she would like to be called, is on the cusp of big changes in her life. She finally has her real estate licence, is thinking of moving out of her parents’ house, and is going to have plastic surgery in hopes of making herself beautiful. However, there’s a secret in her past that involves her brother –in-law, Bruno, and it threatens to cause her all sorts of trouble.
The book starts out being quite funny as it takes a look at life inside a strict Irish-Catholic home where the Virgin Mary is worshiped to such a degree that her pictures are everywhere in the house and Anne’s mother makes her likeness (among other biblical beings) out of pancake batter every morning. Anne’s father treats Anne like a little girl who will never do anything but work in his office and will never be as pretty as her sisters. The back and forth dialogue between some of the characters often involves an Irish dialect which can be a little hard to read but once you get the rhythm of it, the dialogue flows nicely and it really adds to the whole atmosphere of the book. For a while I wondered when the mystery would come in but it’s so slowly revealed and, may I say, slyly done by the author, that all of a sudden I found myself feeling like a light bulb flashed on when I finally figured out what the mystery was in the story. From that point on, I was completely involved with the events that were unfolding and couldn’t put the book down. The pace starts slow but speeds up, all the while maintaining its’ humorous aspects. It does grow dark and a bit disturbing in a way but the author combines the humour and the mystery very well. The characters are well written and believable although it often felt like the book took place in the 1950s or 60s as opposed to current day. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and look forward to reading more by Tory Hartmann.
I read this in digital form on my ereader and it formatted well.

[Michelle Randall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reviewed For Readers Favorite


Agnes Anne has a plan, it's a five step plan, and it will take her over a year to accomplish it, but she is determined to break free of her nutty uber-Catholic Irish family. She is twenty-eight years old and still living at home with her parents, working for her father in the back office with no career aspirations and no boyfriend. Not to mention she has a tendency to stutter when she is nervous or put on the spot. First Friday follows Agnes Anne on her adventure to put her plan into action and the reactions her family has to some of the changes that she makes. Author Tory Hartmann has woven a complex story of family, faith and change together to create a believable yet humorous story of finding your own way in life, even at an age when the rest of your siblings are married and on their own.

First Friday really revolves around a large Irish immigrant family that is devoutly Catholic, in fact maybe a little too devoutly Catholic. As a reader, knowing nothing about being Catholic, some of the things I found hilarious and some I found to be truly scary in that they hammered Agnes' ability to have a normal relationship with a guy. Author Tory Hartmann has created an amazingly complex story with many layers in the family and a number of stories going on around Agnes. In parts I felt sorry for her in that her family seemed to dismiss her so easily and she felt she couldn't he honest with them about some of the things going on, and it other ways I found myself rooting for her to break free and become her own person. This was a very clean book, there was some language and brief mentions of intimate moments, but they were so much less than anything I've read lately. I think this would be a great book for young adults and teens as well as older readers.

[Elise Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has it all. It's a good mystery and at times hilarious, yet the seriousness of the protagonist's dilemma becomes more and more apparent as the story unfolds. We are cheering on Agnes Anne from page 1. As her quest for independence from her family and her truly villainous brother-in-law become more and more desperate, Agnes Anne grows in self-confidence and determination. However, Hartmann has created a three-dimensional character, who never loses a shade of her vulnerability. Anyone who has ever spent an hour, a year or a lifetime trying to get away from the clutches of controlling family (who hasn't?) will appreciate her dilemma. And in today's world, the portrayal of faith/religion gone from sustaining to abusive, here in one particularly bizarre family, will strike an eerie note. Hartmann knows how to handle it all with a deft touch that keeps us nervous, reading eagerly, and occasionally giggling, beginning to end.

[Liz Etnyre · Rating 5 out of 5]

A surprisingly funny story about a dysfunctional family and the havoc some of those dysfunctions can wreck on individuals in said family. The obliviousness of some characters seemed almost willful! (- and would have been unbelievable had I not met actual people who behaved just that way.) I laughed out loud at spots and wanted to reach through my Kindle and shake, or slap, or in one case strangle, a character at other spots. As funny as it is, it does deal with some very dark subjects, including but not limited to sexual assault. The book does contain some language, sex, and violence - but the former is usually humorously applied and the latter two are very sensitively handled. I highly recommend this read.

[Cindy Fazzi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anne is an irresistible character--I was rooting for her all the way! I can't help but love her rambunctious family. This novel made me laugh out loud!

[Patricia N Owen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun read.

Little slow start, but then kept you engaged to find out - what next? Hard to put down. Good ending