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The Southbound Series #1
Toward the Sound of Chaos
Jake Tucker is broken .
At twenty-two, he went in to the Marine Corps a naïve, troubled youth. Nine years and four tours later, Jake finds himself back on US soil, though his mind remains firmly planted in the sands of Afghanistan with the men he left behind. Wounded, chewed up, and spat out by war, Jake has only his dog, Nuke, PTSD, and survivor's guilt to keep him company. He's lived every day for nine years wondering when it will be his last, but there's little comfort in the fact that he's still standing when his platoon isn't.
Ellie Mason doesn't have time for broken .
She's too busy trying to put food on the table. And keeping up with the demands of her autistic son, Spencer is sometimes like fighting behind enemy lines. As if navigating the minefields of single parenthood isn't enough, Ellie finds herself drawn to the quiet Marine who's just as lonely as she is. But she's loved damaged men before, and it left her wounded.
Set against the picturesque backdrop of Fairhope, Alabama, Ellie, and Jake find themselves running toward the sound of chaos.
Love is war. Only the strong survive, and surrender is inevitable.
At twenty-two, he went in to the Marine Corps a naïve, troubled youth. Nine years and four tours later, Jake finds himself back on US soil, though his mind remains firmly planted in the sands of Afghanistan with the men he left behind. Wounded, chewed up, and spat out by war, Jake has only his dog, Nuke, PTSD, and survivor's guilt to keep him company. He's lived every day for nine years wondering when it will be his last, but there's little comfort in the fact that he's still standing when his platoon isn't.
Ellie Mason doesn't have time for broken .
She's too busy trying to put food on the table. And keeping up with the demands of her autistic son, Spencer is sometimes like fighting behind enemy lines. As if navigating the minefields of single parenthood isn't enough, Ellie finds herself drawn to the quiet Marine who's just as lonely as she is. But she's loved damaged men before, and it left her wounded.
Set against the picturesque backdrop of Fairhope, Alabama, Ellie, and Jake find themselves running toward the sound of chaos.
Love is war. Only the strong survive, and surrender is inevitable.
319 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 18, 2016
136 people are currently reading
1577 people want to read
About the author
Carmen Jenner
46 books3,099 followersCarmen Jenner is a USA Today and international bestselling author.
A hardcore red lipstick addict and a romantic at heart, Carmen enjoys books—duh!—long walks through Sephora, tattooed boys, and eyeliner so sharp it could kill a man. She lives in small-town, Australia, where she wrangles her two children, a French Bulldog named Busy, her Jungle Jag Python named Bunny, and her very own manchild.
Carmen always gives her characters the HEA they deserve, but not before ruining their lives completely first … because what’s a happily ever after without a little torture?
Sign up to my newsletter for free books, and exclusive content https://www.carmenjenner.com/subscribe
Stay up to date with Carmen at: www.carmenjenner.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CarmenJenner...
Reader Group The Sugar Junkies: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheSu...
A hardcore red lipstick addict and a romantic at heart, Carmen enjoys books—duh!—long walks through Sephora, tattooed boys, and eyeliner so sharp it could kill a man. She lives in small-town, Australia, where she wrangles her two children, a French Bulldog named Busy, her Jungle Jag Python named Bunny, and her very own manchild.
Carmen always gives her characters the HEA they deserve, but not before ruining their lives completely first … because what’s a happily ever after without a little torture?
Sign up to my newsletter for free books, and exclusive content https://www.carmenjenner.com/subscribe
Stay up to date with Carmen at: www.carmenjenner.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CarmenJenner...
Reader Group The Sugar Junkies: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheSu...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 300 reviews
May 23, 2016
4 Stars!!
Carmen Jenner delivered a poignant tale about love, family, healing and learning to move on. This one was very different from other books I’ve read by this author. It was equally heartbreaking and heartwarming, a truly emotional rollercoaster that really touched my heart at times. 'Toward the Sound of Chaos' is the story of Ellie and Jake, two individuals who find each other and find love when they least expected it.
Life wasn’t easy for Ellie Mason. At 22 her life changed irrevocably when she found out she was pregnant. Eight years later, Ellie is a single mother for her special boy Spencer who was diagnosed with Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder when he was just a little baby. Ellie loves her son with all her heart and she would to anything for him, but there are days when she really struggles with her son’s demands or with her loneliness.
Fairhope, Alabama was Jake Tucker’s home town before he went away at war. Now, at 31 he’s a broken man. He doesn’t have any family alive, any friends and his army brothers are all dead. Every time he closes his eyes, Jake can still see all the horrors, atrocities and crimes he witnessed during his service. He feels empty, lonely and all he wants is to forget about everything that means war and forget as well that he suffers from PTSD.
Ellie and Jake meet when he rescues her from a car accident. They keep in bumping into each other, eventually starting a tentative friendship that slowly becomes something more for both of them. Jake wants Ellie and he wants Spencer too. He wants to provide for them, to protect them, to be there for them, but he believes he has nothing left to give, that he’s not good enough for the young single mother and her little boy. When she’s looking at Jake, Ellie sees the real Jake. He sees a good, caring man and all she wants is to help him somehow.
'Towards the Sound of Chaos' was well written and overall well-paced. Full of heavy emotional scenes, this book really touched me at times. The story felt real and the characters had depth from the very beginning. Seeing Ellie how hard she struggles with everything was really heartbreaking at times. She’s not broken like Jake, but she’s a little damaged and I think the author did a great job with her character. I liked our heroine very much. She’s a phenomenal mother. You can tell from the beginning how much she loves her son. She would do anything for him and she would make any sacrifices for him to be safe and happy. She was strong and caring and simply amazing with her son and also with Jake.
My heart broke so many times for Jake. He was so well portrayed and I felt everything that he felt as the story progressed. I felt his despair, his fear and I also felt his love for Ellie and her little boy. At times I wanted to give him a hug so badly, but at times his push and pull behavior really frustrated me. I understood he was hurting, but I wanted for him to be more accepting. His character development was well done and in the end he had all my admiration not only because he decided he wants to be a better man for himself, but also because he decided Ellie is a woman worth fighting for.
I have to mention the sweet relationship between Jake and Spencer, Ellie’s son. Watching them interact with each other was really touching at times.
I appreciate the research the author did for this novel in writing Spencer’s character and also Jake’s character. She did a fantastic job!
Overall, a touching, well written story!
Carmen Jenner delivered a poignant tale about love, family, healing and learning to move on. This one was very different from other books I’ve read by this author. It was equally heartbreaking and heartwarming, a truly emotional rollercoaster that really touched my heart at times. 'Toward the Sound of Chaos' is the story of Ellie and Jake, two individuals who find each other and find love when they least expected it.
“Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.”
Life wasn’t easy for Ellie Mason. At 22 her life changed irrevocably when she found out she was pregnant. Eight years later, Ellie is a single mother for her special boy Spencer who was diagnosed with Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder when he was just a little baby. Ellie loves her son with all her heart and she would to anything for him, but there are days when she really struggles with her son’s demands or with her loneliness.
"How do you undo everything you’ve done? How do you forget the screams, and the faces of your brothers as the light drains from their eyes?"
Fairhope, Alabama was Jake Tucker’s home town before he went away at war. Now, at 31 he’s a broken man. He doesn’t have any family alive, any friends and his army brothers are all dead. Every time he closes his eyes, Jake can still see all the horrors, atrocities and crimes he witnessed during his service. He feels empty, lonely and all he wants is to forget about everything that means war and forget as well that he suffers from PTSD.
Ellie and Jake meet when he rescues her from a car accident. They keep in bumping into each other, eventually starting a tentative friendship that slowly becomes something more for both of them. Jake wants Ellie and he wants Spencer too. He wants to provide for them, to protect them, to be there for them, but he believes he has nothing left to give, that he’s not good enough for the young single mother and her little boy. When she’s looking at Jake, Ellie sees the real Jake. He sees a good, caring man and all she wants is to help him somehow.
“There’s good in him, light, and strength—he just don’t know it right now.”
'Towards the Sound of Chaos' was well written and overall well-paced. Full of heavy emotional scenes, this book really touched me at times. The story felt real and the characters had depth from the very beginning. Seeing Ellie how hard she struggles with everything was really heartbreaking at times. She’s not broken like Jake, but she’s a little damaged and I think the author did a great job with her character. I liked our heroine very much. She’s a phenomenal mother. You can tell from the beginning how much she loves her son. She would do anything for him and she would make any sacrifices for him to be safe and happy. She was strong and caring and simply amazing with her son and also with Jake.
My heart broke so many times for Jake. He was so well portrayed and I felt everything that he felt as the story progressed. I felt his despair, his fear and I also felt his love for Ellie and her little boy. At times I wanted to give him a hug so badly, but at times his push and pull behavior really frustrated me. I understood he was hurting, but I wanted for him to be more accepting. His character development was well done and in the end he had all my admiration not only because he decided he wants to be a better man for himself, but also because he decided Ellie is a woman worth fighting for.
“I may have screwed up a lot of things in my life, but loving you, and starting a war over this isn’t wrong. You’re mine Ellie Mason, and I’m yours.”
I have to mention the sweet relationship between Jake and Spencer, Ellie’s son. Watching them interact with each other was really touching at times.
I appreciate the research the author did for this novel in writing Spencer’s character and also Jake’s character. She did a fantastic job!
Overall, a touching, well written story!
October 2, 2017
DNF @ 40%
I think it's just me because most of my friends that have read it, enjoyed it and loved it. But its writing didn't intrigue me enough to prevent my mind wandering. I couldn't concentrate enough so I lost the story! Please don't pay any attention to my rate and please read it, hope you enjoy it more than me!
I think it's just me because most of my friends that have read it, enjoyed it and loved it. But its writing didn't intrigue me enough to prevent my mind wandering. I couldn't concentrate enough so I lost the story! Please don't pay any attention to my rate and please read it, hope you enjoy it more than me!
June 1, 2016
****4 Stars****
“Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.”
What an absolutely captivating, heartbreaking and beautiful story. I am a huge fan of military romances, but this is like no other I have ever read. It brought with it, an authenticity of the horrors soldiers are exposed to and the demons they must face after war when they try to return to normality. “Towards the sound of chaos” really showcased this struggle that many veterans have in assimilating back into society.
“When others run from the sound of chaos, we run toward it. Me? I ran so far that I became the chaos.”
Jake Tucker was an incredibly strong character. He is an ex-marine who is suffering greatly from his time at war. The impact of his multiple tours result in him suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). PTSD is a disorder that can develop in people who have been through a traumatic event or circumstance which has threatened their life. There were quite a few flashback scenes where his demons got the better of him and as a reader, you were aware it was going to take a lot for him to overcome his nightmares. It was literally awe-inspiring.
“Nine years I fought their war. Now, every day I wake and fight my own. All I have is my guilt and my dog whose life is dedicated to making sure I don’t lose my shit and blow my fucking brains all over the walls of my empty house. All I have is nothing, and the cost of that was way too high.”
Ellie Mason is a struggling single mom with a son, Spencer, who has Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder. Ellie’s life and happiness depends on her son. She has to make sure he sticks to his routine and all his needs are catered for. Elle has so much going on in her life that it was probably a wise idea for her to stay away from Jake, but she is drawn towards him and he is amazing with Spencer. I loved the relationship between Jake and Spencer and how they were so many similarities and how they helped each other. I thought Ellie was an inspiration. The way she puts everything she has into her son, he is her everything.
“My son is not diseased, it’s not catching, and we’re not looking for a miracle cure or a way to change him. We just need to find a way to work with him. We need to find a way to make all those beautiful pieces inside his brain fit together.”
This was a very real, poignant and captivating story. The amazing writing and character development allowed me a true insight into their day to day struggles. I applaud Carmen Jenner for writing something so profound that it makes me wonder if the story has come from personal experience, or if she has done thorough research. I definitely recommend this story for anyone who loves military romances, with amazing lovable characters and a strong, heartfelt story line.
“Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.”
What an absolutely captivating, heartbreaking and beautiful story. I am a huge fan of military romances, but this is like no other I have ever read. It brought with it, an authenticity of the horrors soldiers are exposed to and the demons they must face after war when they try to return to normality. “Towards the sound of chaos” really showcased this struggle that many veterans have in assimilating back into society.
“When others run from the sound of chaos, we run toward it. Me? I ran so far that I became the chaos.”
Jake Tucker was an incredibly strong character. He is an ex-marine who is suffering greatly from his time at war. The impact of his multiple tours result in him suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). PTSD is a disorder that can develop in people who have been through a traumatic event or circumstance which has threatened their life. There were quite a few flashback scenes where his demons got the better of him and as a reader, you were aware it was going to take a lot for him to overcome his nightmares. It was literally awe-inspiring.
“Nine years I fought their war. Now, every day I wake and fight my own. All I have is my guilt and my dog whose life is dedicated to making sure I don’t lose my shit and blow my fucking brains all over the walls of my empty house. All I have is nothing, and the cost of that was way too high.”
Ellie Mason is a struggling single mom with a son, Spencer, who has Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder. Ellie’s life and happiness depends on her son. She has to make sure he sticks to his routine and all his needs are catered for. Elle has so much going on in her life that it was probably a wise idea for her to stay away from Jake, but she is drawn towards him and he is amazing with Spencer. I loved the relationship between Jake and Spencer and how they were so many similarities and how they helped each other. I thought Ellie was an inspiration. The way she puts everything she has into her son, he is her everything.
“My son is not diseased, it’s not catching, and we’re not looking for a miracle cure or a way to change him. We just need to find a way to work with him. We need to find a way to make all those beautiful pieces inside his brain fit together.”
This was a very real, poignant and captivating story. The amazing writing and character development allowed me a true insight into their day to day struggles. I applaud Carmen Jenner for writing something so profound that it makes me wonder if the story has come from personal experience, or if she has done thorough research. I definitely recommend this story for anyone who loves military romances, with amazing lovable characters and a strong, heartfelt story line.
May 17, 2016
༺**Complimentary Copy**༺ Provided by the author
"Carmen Jenner" in exchange for an honest review..Thank you!!
TITLE: Toward the Sound of Chaos
AUTHOR: Carmen Jenner
GENRE: Contemporary Romance
RELEASE DATE: May 18th 2016
MY RATING
This author fast became one of my all time favourites with her "Welcome to Sugartown" series, so I'm quietly keen to see what journey she takes me on with this book.
A unique heart breaking raw account of one man's struggle to put the war demons to rest
TOWARD THE SOUND OF CHAOS: Told in dual POV (Jake & Ellie)
I can already tell you this is going to be a goodie, we're first introduced to Ellie and her autistic son Spence, she's having one of those craptastic days, car won't start, she's running late to have her daily perv on at the hot marine that runs along the same route she drops her son off to school, but like that saying it comes in three's, as he races past she glances at him numerous times in her rear view mirror whilst keeping half an eye on the road ahead when smack bang she runs off the road..
Can't get any worse than that right?? WRONG!! Who other than the hot marine comes to her rescue, while she gazes up into his blue eyes mumbling some gibberish (Blue eyes and whiskey lullabies) she then proceeds to puke down his shirt before passing out.
I've imagined meeting this recluse mountain man in a number of ways, what I hadn't imagined was that I would mumble some gibberish about his eyes and how his voice sounds like whiskey lullaby.
Meet Jake, this broken down scarred man is going to pull on your heart strings, he suffers PTSD on a daily basis. The survivor guilt, the smell of blood, his mind replaying the loss of his platoon, like ground hog day over and over, it's never ending.
I'm a US Marine.
Nothing holds us down
Not war, famine, deprivation, and certainly not terror.
When others run from the sounds of chaos, we run towards it.
Carmen has captured the true essence of this man perfectly, he's scarred, damaged, broken, his soul is dark. I don't think I've met a man more broken then Jake.
War raped me in the ass with a f#cking AK47, and I'm riddled with too many holes to tape a Band-Aid over. I ain't got nothin' left worth saving.
A slow budding friendship blossoms between Ellie & Jake. These two had so many hurdles for them to knock down before they could come together as lovers. Jake had so many demons to fight, for years he's gone without a woman's touch, love, Elle see's more than the scarred freak he thinks he presents to the world.
That woman is a walking time bomb and the more I talked to her, the more I didn't care that I'd be swallowed up by the blast once it went off. And it was sure to detonate. Anything that came from this, anything we built would be blown to smithereens because if she was a time bomb, I was a nuclear weapon.
MY THOUGHTS
Toward the Sound of Chaos was done so tastefully and respectfully, so gut wrenchingly raw but above all else it was so beautifully written, it captures you by the heart strings, the feels zap you like a taser gun right to the heart.
I can just imagine how hard it would've been putting this story into the written words for us as the reader to understand and comprehend what Jake as a military survivor went through in Afghanistan to make it believable and realistic and I think Carmen hit the nail on the head perfectly with this man's character.
*Teasers used are off the authors FB page*
"Carmen Jenner" in exchange for an honest review..Thank you!!
TITLE: Toward the Sound of Chaos
AUTHOR: Carmen Jenner
GENRE: Contemporary Romance
RELEASE DATE: May 18th 2016
MY RATING
This author fast became one of my all time favourites with her "Welcome to Sugartown" series, so I'm quietly keen to see what journey she takes me on with this book.
A unique heart breaking raw account of one man's struggle to put the war demons to rest
TOWARD THE SOUND OF CHAOS: Told in dual POV (Jake & Ellie)
I can already tell you this is going to be a goodie, we're first introduced to Ellie and her autistic son Spence, she's having one of those craptastic days, car won't start, she's running late to have her daily perv on at the hot marine that runs along the same route she drops her son off to school, but like that saying it comes in three's, as he races past she glances at him numerous times in her rear view mirror whilst keeping half an eye on the road ahead when smack bang she runs off the road..
Can't get any worse than that right?? WRONG!! Who other than the hot marine comes to her rescue, while she gazes up into his blue eyes mumbling some gibberish (Blue eyes and whiskey lullabies) she then proceeds to puke down his shirt before passing out.
I've imagined meeting this recluse mountain man in a number of ways, what I hadn't imagined was that I would mumble some gibberish about his eyes and how his voice sounds like whiskey lullaby.
Meet Jake, this broken down scarred man is going to pull on your heart strings, he suffers PTSD on a daily basis. The survivor guilt, the smell of blood, his mind replaying the loss of his platoon, like ground hog day over and over, it's never ending.
I'm a US Marine.
Nothing holds us down
Not war, famine, deprivation, and certainly not terror.
When others run from the sounds of chaos, we run towards it.
Carmen has captured the true essence of this man perfectly, he's scarred, damaged, broken, his soul is dark. I don't think I've met a man more broken then Jake.
War raped me in the ass with a f#cking AK47, and I'm riddled with too many holes to tape a Band-Aid over. I ain't got nothin' left worth saving.
A slow budding friendship blossoms between Ellie & Jake. These two had so many hurdles for them to knock down before they could come together as lovers. Jake had so many demons to fight, for years he's gone without a woman's touch, love, Elle see's more than the scarred freak he thinks he presents to the world.
That woman is a walking time bomb and the more I talked to her, the more I didn't care that I'd be swallowed up by the blast once it went off. And it was sure to detonate. Anything that came from this, anything we built would be blown to smithereens because if she was a time bomb, I was a nuclear weapon.
MY THOUGHTS
Toward the Sound of Chaos was done so tastefully and respectfully, so gut wrenchingly raw but above all else it was so beautifully written, it captures you by the heart strings, the feels zap you like a taser gun right to the heart.
I can just imagine how hard it would've been putting this story into the written words for us as the reader to understand and comprehend what Jake as a military survivor went through in Afghanistan to make it believable and realistic and I think Carmen hit the nail on the head perfectly with this man's character.
*Teasers used are off the authors FB page*
May 19, 2016
. 4-4,5 STARS
What an emotional ride!This isn't an easy book to read but still this doesn't mean I didn't love it!It's sad,intense,sweet and hot.I have read many books from this author and I believe that this one is a little bit different from her other books.Toward the Sound of Chaos hit me straight to my feelings make me cry a lot ,laugh at times and swoon.
Ellie is one of the toughest and strongest heroines I've ever met.I can't even imagine how difficult must be having a son with Autism and SPD and staying alone taking care of him.Things aren't easy but she loves so much her son and you can see it through the story. Jake has returned from war and now he is a broken man.He has to deal with his own demons.
." Nine years I fought their war. Now, every day I wake and fight my own."
When Ellie and Jake meet life will not be the same again.It will be a challenge for both of them!They have to work a lot of things.
."I survived war, I survived torture at the hands of the Taliban, but I won't survive Ellie Mason, not with my heart still intact."
This was a great read full of emotional moments but also with the hint of hope. Carmen Jenner is absolutely a fantastic author!!With this book she proved that she can do so many things!!Can't wait for her next books!!
ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.
What an emotional ride!This isn't an easy book to read but still this doesn't mean I didn't love it!It's sad,intense,sweet and hot.I have read many books from this author and I believe that this one is a little bit different from her other books.Toward the Sound of Chaos hit me straight to my feelings make me cry a lot ,laugh at times and swoon.
Ellie is one of the toughest and strongest heroines I've ever met.I can't even imagine how difficult must be having a son with Autism and SPD and staying alone taking care of him.Things aren't easy but she loves so much her son and you can see it through the story. Jake has returned from war and now he is a broken man.He has to deal with his own demons.
." Nine years I fought their war. Now, every day I wake and fight my own."
When Ellie and Jake meet life will not be the same again.It will be a challenge for both of them!They have to work a lot of things.
."I survived war, I survived torture at the hands of the Taliban, but I won't survive Ellie Mason, not with my heart still intact."
This was a great read full of emotional moments but also with the hint of hope. Carmen Jenner is absolutely a fantastic author!!With this book she proved that she can do so many things!!Can't wait for her next books!!
ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.
May 23, 2016
★★★ 3.5 - 4 Stars ★★★
This was a very different story than what I have come to expect from Carmen Jenner, which covered some serious issues such as PTSD and Autism. I really felt that both subject matters were dealt with extremely well, and it was obvious that a lot of research went into writing this book.
Jake Tucker is an ex-marine and a POW survivor. He is suffering greatly from his wounds, internal and external, and is pretty much alone in the world, except for his therapy dog Nuke who keeps him grounded and relatively sane.
Ellie Mason is a woman who knows what it's like to feel scared, but now that she has settled in the small town in Alabama, far away from her fears, she is making a good life for herself and her eight-year-old son Spencer. Spencer suffers from autism and SPD, and life for the both of them is a struggle, but they get by as best they can.
When Jake and Ellie meet after she crashes into a tree whilst staring at him in her rearview mirror, it's quite obvious there is an attraction, but with Jake's demons, and Ellie's priority to her son, their journey is not an easy one.
I absolutely loved the first half of the book, I loved the chemistry, and the whole mysteriousness of Jake, and the way he made Ellie feel by just being in her presence. It was quite an emotional story and I felt completely connected for the first 50% or so.
There was an awful lot of push and pull, and poor Ellie had a tough time watching Jake relapse over and over again, it kind of went round in circles at one point and I was waiting for something different for them to overcome, rather than the same problems rearing their head, but then I kind of regretted thinking this, because the last part of the book produced almost too much drama, that I felt was a bit too much. Also, not a big fan of regional accents in writing, it throws me off somewhat and whilst I agree it is completely necessary to include, sometimes less is more.
So, whilst I adored the first half of this beautiful story, I did feel a little let down by the end. That's not to say I didn't like it because I did, the characters were multi-dimensional and I enjoyed reading about all of their day-to-day lives, because they were so completely developed and rich in personality.
Overall, I highly recommend giving it a go if you love a tortured hero and a strong and sassy heroine.
Toward the Sound of Chaos is a standalone novel, told in dual POV.
ARC gratefully received from the author in exchange for an honest review
Images featured in this review were created by me using stock images either purchased from deposit photo or from free stock sites.
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This was a very different story than what I have come to expect from Carmen Jenner, which covered some serious issues such as PTSD and Autism. I really felt that both subject matters were dealt with extremely well, and it was obvious that a lot of research went into writing this book.
Jake Tucker is an ex-marine and a POW survivor. He is suffering greatly from his wounds, internal and external, and is pretty much alone in the world, except for his therapy dog Nuke who keeps him grounded and relatively sane.
"When others run from the sounds of chaos, we run toward it. Me? I ran so far that I became the chaos."
Ellie Mason is a woman who knows what it's like to feel scared, but now that she has settled in the small town in Alabama, far away from her fears, she is making a good life for herself and her eight-year-old son Spencer. Spencer suffers from autism and SPD, and life for the both of them is a struggle, but they get by as best they can.
When Jake and Ellie meet after she crashes into a tree whilst staring at him in her rearview mirror, it's quite obvious there is an attraction, but with Jake's demons, and Ellie's priority to her son, their journey is not an easy one.
I absolutely loved the first half of the book, I loved the chemistry, and the whole mysteriousness of Jake, and the way he made Ellie feel by just being in her presence. It was quite an emotional story and I felt completely connected for the first 50% or so.
"War raped me in the ass with a fucking AK47, and I’m riddled with too many holes to tape a Band-Aid over. I got nothin’ left worth saving.".
There was an awful lot of push and pull, and poor Ellie had a tough time watching Jake relapse over and over again, it kind of went round in circles at one point and I was waiting for something different for them to overcome, rather than the same problems rearing their head, but then I kind of regretted thinking this, because the last part of the book produced almost too much drama, that I felt was a bit too much. Also, not a big fan of regional accents in writing, it throws me off somewhat and whilst I agree it is completely necessary to include, sometimes less is more.
So, whilst I adored the first half of this beautiful story, I did feel a little let down by the end. That's not to say I didn't like it because I did, the characters were multi-dimensional and I enjoyed reading about all of their day-to-day lives, because they were so completely developed and rich in personality.
Overall, I highly recommend giving it a go if you love a tortured hero and a strong and sassy heroine.
Toward the Sound of Chaos is a standalone novel, told in dual POV.
ARC gratefully received from the author in exchange for an honest review
Images featured in this review were created by me using stock images either purchased from deposit photo or from free stock sites.
May 17, 2016
Carmen Jenner is a fantastic writer. I read 4 of her books and she always get to me. Even if I don't always agree with the turn she takes in her book there's one thing I know for sure is that she is invested! It's very much the case with Towards the Sound Of Chaos.
I think it's the first time I read something so accomplished in her books. This book goes IMO deeper that her others books had. I don't know why she needed to write a book dealing with Autism & PTSD but she has done it brilliantly!
"How do you undo everything you’ve done? How do you forget the screams, and the faces of your brothers as the light drains from their eyes?"
Revelry was my fav' book by her until today. I think Jake Tucker, Spencer Mason and Ellie stole the spot by far!
I haven't read a lot of military book but this one goes through what has to be the hardest and the most real situation I've read about. Jake Tucker is a US Marine who has to go through hell before going back home. While reading you'll get a small insight into the nightmare he had to survive and you are going to want to hug the man SO HARD.
It's been a year since he came back in his hometown but he feels nothing but empty. He lives with a dog which helps him with his issues the best he can.
Jake is trapped in his life, no being able to do a damn thing about his issues and suffering through a lot of triggers.
Ellie is a young mother who had to run away to save her child from his abusive father. Her life is not easy because her son has autism. The day to day life is always an adjustment, a battle both of them need to fight and win.
When Jake rescues her from a car accident, it's the beginning of their story...between them but also between Jake and Spencer + between Spencer & Nuke, Jake's dog.
I don't really want to tell everything about the story, the plot, I just want to say this book felt real. I don't know a lot about autism, I practically don't know a thing about PTSD but I know this book was realistic enough.
Pages after pages you witness Ellie &Spencer's struggle, you see Jake's fight with himself and how Ellie appearance in his life in both a blessing but some kind of suffering too.
"“Please don’t run.”
“I don’t think I can run from you anymore.”
I couldn't stop reading. I had to because I had things to do but I could have read it in one sitting. Carmen's writing is captivating. It was like I needed to know how she was going to make them deal with all their problems.
" It makes me want to cry because his skin is a patchwork of pain. It tells a story of hate and unimaginable cruelty, but there is splendor in it, too. There’s a tale of courage, survival, immeasurable strength, and beauty in the face of such ugliness. They tried to destroy him, and they failed.
I have to point that while the books deals with heavy subject, there was beautiful and sweets moment all along. Carmen Jenner found the correct balance to put all the ingredients that make a good story into one I'll keep with me.
Towards the Sound of Chaos goes right up in my Fav' books this year. And you should really add it and read it asap! Trust me
~Arc provided via the author in exchange of an honest review ~
July 27, 2017
3.75 Stars
Overall Opinion: This was an emotional read about the not so easy parts about love. When you truly love someone, you have to love their faults along with them. This is a really good example of the internal struggles a parent of a child with autism has to deal with, and for her to fall for a man that is struggling win his PTSD from being a POW and in combat situations was just downright tragic at times. But the saying "you don't choose who you love" rings true for this couple. I felt like it was an accurate portrayal at how hard love can be at times, and that it is not all unicorns and rainbows. I hate giving it a .75, but it wasn't quite 4 stars for me and it was better than 3.5. I think what mainly ruined it for me and made my rating so low was the ending (see below pace section).
Brief Summary of the Storyline: This is Ellie and Jake story. They meet when Ellie crashes her car into a tree while checking him out in her rear view mirror. They keep on bumping into each other, and are both instantly drawn to one another. Eventually, the coincidences become planned events and they fall in love. There are some big obstacles that they have to get through to get their HEA -- but they do it!
POV: This alternated between Ellie and Jake POV.
Overall Pace of Story: Good until the end. I was happy with the epilogue, but I really dislike how a lot of authors are having the big conflict resolved in the last chapter before the epilogue! I want some time with them as a successful couple!! It just feels way too abrupt for my liking. I never skimmed, and I thought it flowed well otherwise.
Instalove: No. I felt like there was sufficient time to develop significant feelings.
H rating: 4 stars. Jake. He was so damaged and had been through so much that it was easy to give him a free pass with his push/pull behavior. At times I wanted to shake him though! I was happy with how he turned himself around and worked to be a better man for the h.
h rating: 4 stars. Ellie. I liked her, and mainly her inner strength. As a mother of a child on the autism spectrum, I related to her and understood where she was coming from in a lot of her inner dialogue. It makes me think that the author really did her research, or is a parent of a child on the spectrum as well.
Sadness level: Moderate. I needed some tissues on this one!
Push/Pull: Yes
Heat level: Moderate. The scenes were more about the intimacy and furthering their connection rather than to just be sexy IMO.
Descriptive sex: Yes
Safe sex: No. Condoms are not used. There is mention in inner dialogue that the H is clean -- but they never have a discussion about std status, birth control, or past practices that I remember. There is one scene where the H tells the h that they should use a condom, but she stops him and says she just wants to feel him.
OW/OM drama: Yes
Sex scene with OW or OM: No
Cheating: No
Separation: Yes
Possible Triggers: Yes
Closure: This had a cute jump ahead epilogue with a HEA ending. (See above pace section about abrupt ending)
How I got it: It was part of my kindle unlimited subscription.
Safety: Safe with exception
Overall Opinion: This was an emotional read about the not so easy parts about love. When you truly love someone, you have to love their faults along with them. This is a really good example of the internal struggles a parent of a child with autism has to deal with, and for her to fall for a man that is struggling win his PTSD from being a POW and in combat situations was just downright tragic at times. But the saying "you don't choose who you love" rings true for this couple. I felt like it was an accurate portrayal at how hard love can be at times, and that it is not all unicorns and rainbows. I hate giving it a .75, but it wasn't quite 4 stars for me and it was better than 3.5. I think what mainly ruined it for me and made my rating so low was the ending (see below pace section).
Brief Summary of the Storyline: This is Ellie and Jake story. They meet when Ellie crashes her car into a tree while checking him out in her rear view mirror. They keep on bumping into each other, and are both instantly drawn to one another. Eventually, the coincidences become planned events and they fall in love. There are some big obstacles that they have to get through to get their HEA -- but they do it!
POV: This alternated between Ellie and Jake POV.
Overall Pace of Story: Good until the end. I was happy with the epilogue, but I really dislike how a lot of authors are having the big conflict resolved in the last chapter before the epilogue! I want some time with them as a successful couple!! It just feels way too abrupt for my liking. I never skimmed, and I thought it flowed well otherwise.
Instalove: No. I felt like there was sufficient time to develop significant feelings.
H rating: 4 stars. Jake. He was so damaged and had been through so much that it was easy to give him a free pass with his push/pull behavior. At times I wanted to shake him though! I was happy with how he turned himself around and worked to be a better man for the h.
h rating: 4 stars. Ellie. I liked her, and mainly her inner strength. As a mother of a child on the autism spectrum, I related to her and understood where she was coming from in a lot of her inner dialogue. It makes me think that the author really did her research, or is a parent of a child on the spectrum as well.
Sadness level: Moderate. I needed some tissues on this one!
Push/Pull: Yes
Heat level: Moderate. The scenes were more about the intimacy and furthering their connection rather than to just be sexy IMO.
Descriptive sex: Yes
Safe sex: No. Condoms are not used. There is mention in inner dialogue that the H is clean -- but they never have a discussion about std status, birth control, or past practices that I remember. There is one scene where the H tells the h that they should use a condom, but she stops him and says she just wants to feel him.
OW/OM drama: Yes
Sex scene with OW or OM: No
Cheating: No
Separation: Yes
Possible Triggers: Yes
Closure: This had a cute jump ahead epilogue with a HEA ending. (See above pace section about abrupt ending)
How I got it: It was part of my kindle unlimited subscription.
Safety: Safe with exception
May 20, 2016
This was so good...I loved it. I ran the whole gamut of emotions but I have no idea how to review it.
Review to come later....
Review to come later....
September 5, 2016
THAT WAS MORE THAN INTENSE!
It was heart fucking breaking!
I'm so emotionally exhausted after reading this book. I'm just drained.
Toward the Sound of Chaos was all ALL angst! Maybe 10 - 15% of it wasn't. Obviously with that synopsis, you know you're getting drama, pain, emotional distress, etc etc, but MY GOD!!! **curls up in a ball!!!!!!!**
I want to say I loved it, but it feels wrong to say that, because I didn't love the constant barrage of pain these characters were in. It killed me. It exhausted me. It made me sad. But I did love them. I adored Ellie, Jake and Spence with a passion.
But, man, was this HEART SHATTERING at times! My chest feels all bruised and sore from the ferocity of the feels.
And I know I'm going on and on about this... But the amount of dysfunction in this novel is whoa! Sometimes I wondered if it was too much. If it went too far. Each character had such monumental challenges to conquer that I think that alone would have been enough, but the constant torrent of fire they were under in each chapter was more than intense. So once you added in the plot twists on top of the already existing issues...
It was A LOT. A LOTTTTTT!
I feel as though I need to take a breath! Honestly, I need a day to let this settle in.
But I'll say, this author is an excellent writer, and this book was as addictive as it was painful. I couldn't handle anything until I knew these characters were going to be okay.
They were ALL I thought about.
It's a heavy story with a subject matter that's troubling and so sad, but I felt like the author wrote it with care and attention to detail. I'm not sure what to rate it. It was so tumultuous I felt like it needed some happy. I definitely needed MAJOR happy. And I didn't feel like the happy we got was enough. So I'm thinking it's a 4. Definitely not a 3 or 3.5! It's too well written! It's just too addicting and the characters are too lovable.
That said, when the reader is on a constant angst high and there's never any plateaus it becomes overwhelming and you eventually can't connect to anything. You start to feel as if everyone and everything is too far gone and there's no coming back. You have to even the angst out with SIGNIFICANT soft moments. There should be an ebb and flow in a novel. This is romance after all. The reader needs time to breathe from one catastrophic event to the other.
Again, I really liked it, I really, really did! Carmen Jenner's a kick butt writer, but I think this was just WHOA! So angst lovers, this is your read.
It was heart fucking breaking!
I'm so emotionally exhausted after reading this book. I'm just drained.
Toward the Sound of Chaos was all ALL angst! Maybe 10 - 15% of it wasn't. Obviously with that synopsis, you know you're getting drama, pain, emotional distress, etc etc, but MY GOD!!! **curls up in a ball!!!!!!!**
I want to say I loved it, but it feels wrong to say that, because I didn't love the constant barrage of pain these characters were in. It killed me. It exhausted me. It made me sad. But I did love them. I adored Ellie, Jake and Spence with a passion.
But, man, was this HEART SHATTERING at times! My chest feels all bruised and sore from the ferocity of the feels.
And I know I'm going on and on about this... But the amount of dysfunction in this novel is whoa! Sometimes I wondered if it was too much. If it went too far. Each character had such monumental challenges to conquer that I think that alone would have been enough, but the constant torrent of fire they were under in each chapter was more than intense. So once you added in the plot twists on top of the already existing issues...
It was A LOT. A LOTTTTTT!
I feel as though I need to take a breath! Honestly, I need a day to let this settle in.
But I'll say, this author is an excellent writer, and this book was as addictive as it was painful. I couldn't handle anything until I knew these characters were going to be okay.
They were ALL I thought about.
It's a heavy story with a subject matter that's troubling and so sad, but I felt like the author wrote it with care and attention to detail. I'm not sure what to rate it. It was so tumultuous I felt like it needed some happy. I definitely needed MAJOR happy. And I didn't feel like the happy we got was enough. So I'm thinking it's a 4. Definitely not a 3 or 3.5! It's too well written! It's just too addicting and the characters are too lovable.
That said, when the reader is on a constant angst high and there's never any plateaus it becomes overwhelming and you eventually can't connect to anything. You start to feel as if everyone and everything is too far gone and there's no coming back. You have to even the angst out with SIGNIFICANT soft moments. There should be an ebb and flow in a novel. This is romance after all. The reader needs time to breathe from one catastrophic event to the other.
Again, I really liked it, I really, really did! Carmen Jenner's a kick butt writer, but I think this was just WHOA! So angst lovers, this is your read.
Want to read
May 16, 2016Can't wait to read this.
May 19, 2016
WOW!!
What a book!
Loved it.
Triggers
What a book!
Loved it.
Triggers
May 16, 2016
ARC Kindly provided in exchange for an honest review.
Title: Toward the Sound of Chaos
Author: Carmen Jenner
Category: Romance, Military
POV: Dual
Characters: 5
Plot: 5
Scorching Level: 5
HEA: Not telling
I am a huge Carmen Jenner fan! I love her writing and how she develops her stories and characters.
This book tore my heart out!
Jack Tucker was a US Marine. Now he is living alone with his dog, Nuke and his nightmares.
Suffering from severe PTSD, he tries to survive with his demons and the ghosts of his past.
Ellie Mason knows how to fight for what she loves. Her son Spencer is the only thing in her life and she tries to be a good mother. She knows pain since Spencer is autistic and so, when she crosses paths with Jake Tucker, her life won't ever be the same.
Fairhope, Alabama is a small town and everyone knows everyone. Ellie has watched Jake from afar, but nothing prepared her for actually being a part of his life.
They start a hesitant friendship, but it's not easy.
Jake is a man who cannot stand to be touched, but Ellie threatens to break all his walls. Still, he resists.
I love how Jake is and how the author portrayed his character. She manages to capture his pain and fears to perfection!
Nine years I fought their war. Now, every day I wake and fight my own.
Ellie is tough and sassy and she is one of the strongest heroines I've ever met. Her dedication to her son is astonishing!
Can these two lonely people ever make it work between them? Read to find out!
The writing is fabulous and I am sure you will love this story as much as I did. Carmen Jenner promises a book about heartache and love and she delivers!
5 Stars
December 24, 2020
3,5
Disturbo post-traumatico da stress, autismo e violenza domestica...
Molta carne al fuoco e non sempre, a mio avviso, sono stati sviluppati con equilibrio.
Disturbo post-traumatico da stress, autismo e violenza domestica...
Molta carne al fuoco e non sempre, a mio avviso, sono stati sviluppati con equilibrio.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 22, 2016
☆☆☆☆☆ 5 "Blue Eyes and Whiskey Lullabies" Stars ☆☆☆☆☆
"My brain fights me at every turn, and it wins, because how do you fight a battle that only wages within your head."
Jake Tucker is a US Marine and a hero. But this hero is broken and shattered in every way possible...mind, body and soul. Every minute of every day is a battle to remain calm and normal, but fighting PTSD is going to be the hardest thing of his life.
Ellie Mason is a thirty year old single of mother of an autistic son. After escaping the brutal hands of an abusive husband, Ellie and her son Spencer are trying to live a calm and normal life. But autism has a mind of its own and Ellie and Spencer must find a way to exist within it's world.
Calm and normal is anything but what happens when Jake Tucker and Ellie Mason cross paths after Ellie crashes her car into a bridge.
"That woman is a walking timber bomb and the more I talk to her, the more I don't care that I'm going to be swallowed up by the blast once it goes off."
Their attraction is beautiful and filled with sparks of love from the get go.
But can a woman fighting to keep her son safe from his own demons, love a man that is being battered by the demons of his war life.
"Sometimes to surrender to someone else's chaos is the bravest thing you can do."
*******************************
I love me dark and creepy and this story is anything but that. This story will grab your heart from page 1 and catapult you into the lives of Jake and Ellie and fall deeply in love with these two broken souls.
Fabulous story Miss Carmen Jenner!!
"My brain fights me at every turn, and it wins, because how do you fight a battle that only wages within your head."
Jake Tucker is a US Marine and a hero. But this hero is broken and shattered in every way possible...mind, body and soul. Every minute of every day is a battle to remain calm and normal, but fighting PTSD is going to be the hardest thing of his life.
Ellie Mason is a thirty year old single of mother of an autistic son. After escaping the brutal hands of an abusive husband, Ellie and her son Spencer are trying to live a calm and normal life. But autism has a mind of its own and Ellie and Spencer must find a way to exist within it's world.
Calm and normal is anything but what happens when Jake Tucker and Ellie Mason cross paths after Ellie crashes her car into a bridge.
"That woman is a walking timber bomb and the more I talk to her, the more I don't care that I'm going to be swallowed up by the blast once it goes off."
Their attraction is beautiful and filled with sparks of love from the get go.
But can a woman fighting to keep her son safe from his own demons, love a man that is being battered by the demons of his war life.
"Sometimes to surrender to someone else's chaos is the bravest thing you can do."
*******************************
I love me dark and creepy and this story is anything but that. This story will grab your heart from page 1 and catapult you into the lives of Jake and Ellie and fall deeply in love with these two broken souls.
Fabulous story Miss Carmen Jenner!!
August 1, 2017
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
–Douglas Adams –
So far I’ve only read one book by Ms. Jenner and it wasn’t what I expected at all. The same applies to this book as well.
If you read what we post which I hope you do then I posted that this book was fab and in its on specific way, so why only give it 3 stars you wonder?
It started out strong we get to know the characters in the book and get a feel for them. I liked the main characters in the book a lot. But somewhere along the way I got lost.
There was too much back and forth between the main characters I never thought that they could get it together. They both had demons and issues and tried to deal with them as best as they could.
Yes. I know nothing is simple in real life, believe me I know. I cannot imagine what is like to be a PTSD and or to have a child with autism. Those are things that I haven’t ever to have experienced. For that I am thankful and I was emotionally invested in this book with the characters and all. It was touching, emotionally gutting on some levels and shocking. Ms. Jenner jumps right in there that is refreshing. She is not afraid to tackle difficult topics.
What I found hard to deal with is that the ex turned up out of the blue and then suddenly shit goes down. It wasn’t smooth sailing between the characters but then bam out of nowhere something happened and then another bam and I was like ah what?
They manage to work out their differences and at the end we get a sweet bonus.
I am one of the very few that gave this 3 stars most are 4 or 5 star reviews. This is just my personal opinion on the book nothing more nothing less.
I love the cover of this book. It is also KU.
Warning, there were some things that I felt uncomfortable with, see the spoilers.
–Douglas Adams –
So far I’ve only read one book by Ms. Jenner and it wasn’t what I expected at all. The same applies to this book as well.
If you read what we post which I hope you do then I posted that this book was fab and in its on specific way, so why only give it 3 stars you wonder?
It started out strong we get to know the characters in the book and get a feel for them. I liked the main characters in the book a lot. But somewhere along the way I got lost.
There was too much back and forth between the main characters I never thought that they could get it together. They both had demons and issues and tried to deal with them as best as they could.
Yes. I know nothing is simple in real life, believe me I know. I cannot imagine what is like to be a PTSD and or to have a child with autism. Those are things that I haven’t ever to have experienced. For that I am thankful and I was emotionally invested in this book with the characters and all. It was touching, emotionally gutting on some levels and shocking. Ms. Jenner jumps right in there that is refreshing. She is not afraid to tackle difficult topics.
What I found hard to deal with is that the ex turned up out of the blue and then suddenly shit goes down. It wasn’t smooth sailing between the characters but then bam out of nowhere something happened and then another bam and I was like ah what?
They manage to work out their differences and at the end we get a sweet bonus.
I am one of the very few that gave this 3 stars most are 4 or 5 star reviews. This is just my personal opinion on the book nothing more nothing less.
I love the cover of this book. It is also KU.
Warning, there were some things that I felt uncomfortable with, see the spoilers.
May 24, 2016
4.5 stars
March 7, 2018
In “Towards the Sound of Chaos” the author paints a raw picture of the war that happens after the war. The public might finally acknowledge the existence of PTSD, but still when it is subject in a novel there is often an attempt to show only the lighter forms of it.
So far I feel this is my first time reading an attempt to make it more real in a romance novel. I trying to choose my words carefully when I say “attempt” because nobody can judge what is real unless he has been in that situation or learned about it first hand by a friend or relative.
Carmen Jenner describes Jake Tucker as the guy that causes woman’s heads to turn when passing but only as long as they do not know about his past and do not look at him to closely. Because no-one in their right mind would want anything from a guy who is damaged inside and out.
Well - Ellie does not care about anything like that – she loves to watch him and after they meet by accident she cannot be anything other than grateful to him. Especially when even her autistic son responds so well to him.
Jake is trying to overcome his survivor guilt, but his PTSD will not give him any rest and his demons are strong. Ellie is a fighter that is not giving up easy but she has had her share of bad relationships and there might come a point when love is not enough.
“Towards the sound of Chaos” is a story of war. Love being on one side and the demons inside of Jakes head on the other.
The fight is ugly and will leave the reader raw and with tears in their eyes.
I don’t dare – saying that only the strong survive – because those Demons might be the stronger ones – who knows.
August 22, 2017
This book centers on two topics plaguing our nation, Autism and PTSD. Perfection is what I would say at the betrayal of both.
Elle Mason is s a single mom of an autistic son, Spence, who 4 years ago ran from her abusive ex. With the help of her friend Olivia and her landlord and neighbor Mr Williams she has plodded along until on the day the book starts she is distract and crashes her car.
Enter Jake Tucker. A broken war hero who is just struggling to survive. A former POW. Immediately he has an attraction to the mother of one. But he knows he is unable to have anything good in life. Tortured by his past he is barely breathing. With no family his only friend is his service dog, Nuke, he feels something for both mother and son.
This book is a look at the struggles of an autistic boy, a wounded warrior and the woman who questions if she is strong enough to love them both and if she is doing anything right. The love story is hard fought. Jake's issues lead to a struggle due to his actions coping with his war service. I really loved the realistic look at both sides of both issues. I have some experience with an autistic child and limited experience with a warrior with PTSD so I liked this journey into the issues with both.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! GIVE THIS A READ PLEASE, I think you will be thoroughly entertained and enlightened.
Elle Mason is s a single mom of an autistic son, Spence, who 4 years ago ran from her abusive ex. With the help of her friend Olivia and her landlord and neighbor Mr Williams she has plodded along until on the day the book starts she is distract and crashes her car.
Enter Jake Tucker. A broken war hero who is just struggling to survive. A former POW. Immediately he has an attraction to the mother of one. But he knows he is unable to have anything good in life. Tortured by his past he is barely breathing. With no family his only friend is his service dog, Nuke, he feels something for both mother and son.
This book is a look at the struggles of an autistic boy, a wounded warrior and the woman who questions if she is strong enough to love them both and if she is doing anything right. The love story is hard fought. Jake's issues lead to a struggle due to his actions coping with his war service. I really loved the realistic look at both sides of both issues. I have some experience with an autistic child and limited experience with a warrior with PTSD so I liked this journey into the issues with both.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! GIVE THIS A READ PLEASE, I think you will be thoroughly entertained and enlightened.
April 13, 2019
Le aspettative erano alte, gli elementi che mi piacciono in un romance per giunta military con presenza di bambini c'erano tutti, ma miscelati malissimo; una cozzaglia di frasi e le azioni senza un filo cronologico. Io non vorrei metterci la mano sul fuoco, ma ho l'impressione che i problemi stanno nella versione italiana e non nell'originale.
April 11, 2019
3.5... bella storia, ma la narrazione troppo lenta non mi ha coinvolto ed emozionato come avrebbe potuto! Peccato
May 15, 2016
PLATINUM LIPSTICK
I have been a long time fan of Carmen Jenner's work, her ability to seamlessly create worlds that I want to be part of, worlds that both excite and terrify me, characters that are robust and developed, characters that leap off the page demanding that you LOOK at them, that you SEE them, that you see beyond the pretty smiles or ripped abs, beyond the bad boy or nice guy façade, that you see beyond the carefully constructed image they want projected to the world, there's something inherently thrilling about discovering a characters secrets, knowing that you as a reader dug below the surface and uncovered deeper meaning, that feeling of knowing you might be one of hundreds or thousands reading the same book but in some way it was written just for you. That's the feeling that washes over me EVERY TIME I pick up one of Jenner's books, it's a feeling of exhilaration and anticipation, a feeling that floods your belly with butterflies, a feeling of something BIG is just out of reach, a feeling a warmth that settles around you like a soft blanket on a chilly day, it's knowing with absolute certainty that the author will test your resolve, will make you think, will make you question what you would do in that situation, but most importantly will make you FEEL. Turning the first page of Toward the Sound of Chaos was equal parts filled with anticipation and trepidation, I've made no secret of struggling to connect with darker or heavier tropes of late, from the glorious cover to the intriguing blurb I knew that Ms Jenner wouldn't be pulling any punches here, the authors tag line asks the reader what's a happily ever after without a little torture? In the moments when my heart was falling in shards, shattered and broken at my feet, when my soul wept, when my emotions were battered and bruised, when I sat there questioning everything, needing to believe in the good and the just, echoes of the tagline floated through my mind, reminding me, begging me to see the world through a different lens, to feel every moment of this story about a broken man returned from war, of a woman who's life is dedicated to loving and protecting a little boy that so much of the world doesn't understand.
Funny how those things never leave you. Even now, seven thousand five hundred miles away. I still hear those words I whispered into the darkness."
Jake Tucker returned from War a broken man, memories of his service haunt him, his body covered in reminders of being chewed up and spat out by conflict and oppression, he's returned from War but he's very much still living the agony and torment Stateside, returning to normal day to day life is something returned Vet's often struggle with, the horrors and atrocities of War branded on their minds, ensuring that forgetting all that they've seen and done is not possible. The dichotomy of the warring sides of his character ever present, the Marine who served his country, who ran towards chaos instead of away from it, the serviceman whose courage and gallantry saw him become a respected and trusted leader juxtaposed with the battered and broken man who returned home, the man shackled by his memories, by the sights and smells of fighting a War that has no winners or losers, scarred physically and emotionally by things most of us will never understand, Jake Tucker returned home a hero and yet doesn't feel like one, therein lying the greatest problem, swamped by feelings of inadequacy, of loss, of ruin, a man changed by all he has seen and lived through struggling every day just to continue breathing.
"Every f*cking cry for help or scream of terror, of loss, of agony from nine years' worth of service, I hear it all on a loop in my head. Afghani, American, man, woman, child, it don't make no difference, because terror sounds the same in the dark, no matter whose lungs it's ripped from."
Ellie Mason knows a thing or two about having a past you want to forget, business operator and single mother to young son Spencer she knows all to well what it's like to put the needs of others before her own. Rearing a child with Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder can be challenging to say the least, raising a child is filled with pot holes and landmines on most days, equal parts joy and desperation, trial and error, Ellie has had to readjust her life and her parenting techniques to best suit Spencer's needs. Living in a small town, a blessing and a curse, fighting small town mindsets and challenging ideas about her sons treatment needs is a constant battles, modifying her own behaviour and actions to best create a stable and structured environment that allows Spencer to thrive her only priority. The love and fierce maternal protective instinct for her child has been Ellie's guiding light, with only a couple of friends, she's been steadfastly relying solely on herself.
"That woman is a walking time bomb and the more I talked to her, the more I didn't care that I'd be swallowed up by the blast once it went off. And it was sure to detonate. Anything that came from this, anything we built would be blown to smithereens because if she was a time bomb, I was a nuclear weapon."
From side glances, and sly looks, Ellie and Jake meeting was destined to shake both of their foundations, it's often said that our souls can recognise it's mate, it's in those quiet moments where they co-exist that we find sheer beauty, fleeting as they may be. The instant connection, the click of recognising something deeper than the smiles on ones face, the immediate knowledge that this person knows of struggle and heartache, that they inherently understand what it's like to wake up every morning and donne your mask for the world, to wear your scars and fears as a shield to protect you. From shaky breaths and lost looks, to longing glances and heart breaking need, the quietest moments in Toward the Sound of Chaos were the most thrilling, the moments that rely purely on the author's ability to convey her message, that allow two battered and bruised people who are desperately wading the river of life, praying to come out unscathed. It's those moments of eloquent prose, where this reader wasn't tantalised by gratuitous sex or heart stopping violence that the story clearly shone through, where I lost my heart, it was in those quiet moments that I had to set down my kindle, suck in a deep breath and just reflect, the only way to quiet my trembling hands, to slow my beating heart was to concentrate on the sound of my own breath, it was in those moments that I found beauty and peace in the chaos and the silence.
"You've spent so long building that wall around yourself, that you don't even know that every day since we met I've been chipping away at the thing and I finally made a hole. I let the light back in."
Military Romance as a trope is not new to contemporary romance, it's not new to this blogger, the realities of war is something I will God willing never need to face, I have family, friends and acquaintances that have served, that continue to serve, but so far in my short life I have not experienced first hand what PTSD and the lasting effects of the horrors of wartime have on not only the serviceman or woman but their families and friends. While I have family members and friends that fall somewhere along the Autism spectrum I don't truly understand the struggles of raising an ASD child, I don't understand the pain and heartache of not being able to hug your child for fear of setting off an episode, I don't understand having to stick to regimented schedules as to avoid causing confusion and stress on a child who's biggest concerns should be shirking their vegetables and playing outside, and yet I felt Jake's fear and guilt, I felt his pain, I felt Ellie's anguish and heartbreak, her sorrow, throughout Toward the Sound of Chaos I felt it all in spades, I felt it in my bones, in my heart, in my soul, and in those quiet moments, where the melancholy and sorrow threatened to overwhelm me, I felt the light break through, I felt the hope for a better day tomorrow, I felt overwhelming love and joy. As I sit here reflecting on a story that examines the horrors of war, the struggles of a single parents just trying to muddle through, the story of a little boy with big eyes and a bigger heart, the story of the rainbow that comes after the rain, I'm once again reminded that sometimes the most beautiful fairy tales are the ones that come along in the middle of an ordinary life.
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I have been a long time fan of Carmen Jenner's work, her ability to seamlessly create worlds that I want to be part of, worlds that both excite and terrify me, characters that are robust and developed, characters that leap off the page demanding that you LOOK at them, that you SEE them, that you see beyond the pretty smiles or ripped abs, beyond the bad boy or nice guy façade, that you see beyond the carefully constructed image they want projected to the world, there's something inherently thrilling about discovering a characters secrets, knowing that you as a reader dug below the surface and uncovered deeper meaning, that feeling of knowing you might be one of hundreds or thousands reading the same book but in some way it was written just for you. That's the feeling that washes over me EVERY TIME I pick up one of Jenner's books, it's a feeling of exhilaration and anticipation, a feeling that floods your belly with butterflies, a feeling of something BIG is just out of reach, a feeling a warmth that settles around you like a soft blanket on a chilly day, it's knowing with absolute certainty that the author will test your resolve, will make you think, will make you question what you would do in that situation, but most importantly will make you FEEL. Turning the first page of Toward the Sound of Chaos was equal parts filled with anticipation and trepidation, I've made no secret of struggling to connect with darker or heavier tropes of late, from the glorious cover to the intriguing blurb I knew that Ms Jenner wouldn't be pulling any punches here, the authors tag line asks the reader what's a happily ever after without a little torture? In the moments when my heart was falling in shards, shattered and broken at my feet, when my soul wept, when my emotions were battered and bruised, when I sat there questioning everything, needing to believe in the good and the just, echoes of the tagline floated through my mind, reminding me, begging me to see the world through a different lens, to feel every moment of this story about a broken man returned from war, of a woman who's life is dedicated to loving and protecting a little boy that so much of the world doesn't understand.
Funny how those things never leave you. Even now, seven thousand five hundred miles away. I still hear those words I whispered into the darkness."
Jake Tucker returned from War a broken man, memories of his service haunt him, his body covered in reminders of being chewed up and spat out by conflict and oppression, he's returned from War but he's very much still living the agony and torment Stateside, returning to normal day to day life is something returned Vet's often struggle with, the horrors and atrocities of War branded on their minds, ensuring that forgetting all that they've seen and done is not possible. The dichotomy of the warring sides of his character ever present, the Marine who served his country, who ran towards chaos instead of away from it, the serviceman whose courage and gallantry saw him become a respected and trusted leader juxtaposed with the battered and broken man who returned home, the man shackled by his memories, by the sights and smells of fighting a War that has no winners or losers, scarred physically and emotionally by things most of us will never understand, Jake Tucker returned home a hero and yet doesn't feel like one, therein lying the greatest problem, swamped by feelings of inadequacy, of loss, of ruin, a man changed by all he has seen and lived through struggling every day just to continue breathing.
"Every f*cking cry for help or scream of terror, of loss, of agony from nine years' worth of service, I hear it all on a loop in my head. Afghani, American, man, woman, child, it don't make no difference, because terror sounds the same in the dark, no matter whose lungs it's ripped from."
Ellie Mason knows a thing or two about having a past you want to forget, business operator and single mother to young son Spencer she knows all to well what it's like to put the needs of others before her own. Rearing a child with Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder can be challenging to say the least, raising a child is filled with pot holes and landmines on most days, equal parts joy and desperation, trial and error, Ellie has had to readjust her life and her parenting techniques to best suit Spencer's needs. Living in a small town, a blessing and a curse, fighting small town mindsets and challenging ideas about her sons treatment needs is a constant battles, modifying her own behaviour and actions to best create a stable and structured environment that allows Spencer to thrive her only priority. The love and fierce maternal protective instinct for her child has been Ellie's guiding light, with only a couple of friends, she's been steadfastly relying solely on herself.
"That woman is a walking time bomb and the more I talked to her, the more I didn't care that I'd be swallowed up by the blast once it went off. And it was sure to detonate. Anything that came from this, anything we built would be blown to smithereens because if she was a time bomb, I was a nuclear weapon."
From side glances, and sly looks, Ellie and Jake meeting was destined to shake both of their foundations, it's often said that our souls can recognise it's mate, it's in those quiet moments where they co-exist that we find sheer beauty, fleeting as they may be. The instant connection, the click of recognising something deeper than the smiles on ones face, the immediate knowledge that this person knows of struggle and heartache, that they inherently understand what it's like to wake up every morning and donne your mask for the world, to wear your scars and fears as a shield to protect you. From shaky breaths and lost looks, to longing glances and heart breaking need, the quietest moments in Toward the Sound of Chaos were the most thrilling, the moments that rely purely on the author's ability to convey her message, that allow two battered and bruised people who are desperately wading the river of life, praying to come out unscathed. It's those moments of eloquent prose, where this reader wasn't tantalised by gratuitous sex or heart stopping violence that the story clearly shone through, where I lost my heart, it was in those quiet moments that I had to set down my kindle, suck in a deep breath and just reflect, the only way to quiet my trembling hands, to slow my beating heart was to concentrate on the sound of my own breath, it was in those moments that I found beauty and peace in the chaos and the silence.
"You've spent so long building that wall around yourself, that you don't even know that every day since we met I've been chipping away at the thing and I finally made a hole. I let the light back in."
Military Romance as a trope is not new to contemporary romance, it's not new to this blogger, the realities of war is something I will God willing never need to face, I have family, friends and acquaintances that have served, that continue to serve, but so far in my short life I have not experienced first hand what PTSD and the lasting effects of the horrors of wartime have on not only the serviceman or woman but their families and friends. While I have family members and friends that fall somewhere along the Autism spectrum I don't truly understand the struggles of raising an ASD child, I don't understand the pain and heartache of not being able to hug your child for fear of setting off an episode, I don't understand having to stick to regimented schedules as to avoid causing confusion and stress on a child who's biggest concerns should be shirking their vegetables and playing outside, and yet I felt Jake's fear and guilt, I felt his pain, I felt Ellie's anguish and heartbreak, her sorrow, throughout Toward the Sound of Chaos I felt it all in spades, I felt it in my bones, in my heart, in my soul, and in those quiet moments, where the melancholy and sorrow threatened to overwhelm me, I felt the light break through, I felt the hope for a better day tomorrow, I felt overwhelming love and joy. As I sit here reflecting on a story that examines the horrors of war, the struggles of a single parents just trying to muddle through, the story of a little boy with big eyes and a bigger heart, the story of the rainbow that comes after the rain, I'm once again reminded that sometimes the most beautiful fairy tales are the ones that come along in the middle of an ordinary life.
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June 26, 2016
4.5 stars!
This was such an emotional story. My heart broke for Jake, I felt so sorry for him.. What he'd been through and what he was going through because of it..
And Spencer's sass was fun! I love when there's kids in books because they're so much fun.
I loved this book!
This was such an emotional story. My heart broke for Jake, I felt so sorry for him.. What he'd been through and what he was going through because of it..
And Spencer's sass was fun! I love when there's kids in books because they're so much fun.
I loved this book!
May 18, 2016
Noteworthy experiences whilst reading this book (best parts, worst parts, quotes etc, personal opinions):
Wow, where do I start, this books covered all kinds of feels, my heart was in my mouth throughout. One minute I'm emotional for Jake and the trauma he's suffered as a Marine and his coping mechanisms (or lack of) for PTSD, then for Ellie for trying to be this ultra strong mother, lover, business owner and friend, then Spencer for his young years to have seen so much, Mr Williams just because and for Nuke that damn dog sucker punched me for all that he does throughout the book.
"Mamma says I ain't allowed to sit up there because that's her special place." Ellie blushes all over. "That so?" "Uh huh," the kid continues. "No one's allowed in the salon when Mamma's doin' the laundry"
Having last read Finding North by Carmen and the way she captured the emotion in Will and North's struggles with homophobia, I knew she would deal with each issue covered in Toward the Sound of Chaos with the same empathy, emotion, passion and feeling, what I wasn't prepared for was the thought provoking process I'm now struggling with, thinking is there something I can do to help.
This book played on my heart strings as my young nephew is autistic, so much of what was wrote about Spencer I've seen first hand, the melt downs, no touching, processing, his parents learning the tells, also one of my family members is a war veteran, he served 24 years and has seen too much horror in his life Afghanistan, Iraq etc.
Carmen, this is an amazing book, one to be very proud of, and certainly has a deserved spot on my all time favourites shelf
Wow, where do I start, this books covered all kinds of feels, my heart was in my mouth throughout. One minute I'm emotional for Jake and the trauma he's suffered as a Marine and his coping mechanisms (or lack of) for PTSD, then for Ellie for trying to be this ultra strong mother, lover, business owner and friend, then Spencer for his young years to have seen so much, Mr Williams just because and for Nuke that damn dog sucker punched me for all that he does throughout the book.
"Mamma says I ain't allowed to sit up there because that's her special place." Ellie blushes all over. "That so?" "Uh huh," the kid continues. "No one's allowed in the salon when Mamma's doin' the laundry"
Having last read Finding North by Carmen and the way she captured the emotion in Will and North's struggles with homophobia, I knew she would deal with each issue covered in Toward the Sound of Chaos with the same empathy, emotion, passion and feeling, what I wasn't prepared for was the thought provoking process I'm now struggling with, thinking is there something I can do to help.
This book played on my heart strings as my young nephew is autistic, so much of what was wrote about Spencer I've seen first hand, the melt downs, no touching, processing, his parents learning the tells, also one of my family members is a war veteran, he served 24 years and has seen too much horror in his life Afghanistan, Iraq etc.
Carmen, this is an amazing book, one to be very proud of, and certainly has a deserved spot on my all time favourites shelf
May 24, 2016
2.5 stars
There were some things I liked about this book but a lot I didn't like. I'm not sure if I'm just being too picky but I really,really, really wanted to like this book but it just missed it's mark for me. I have enjoyed books by this author before and will read more from her in the future, this particular book just wasn't for me.
There were some things I liked about this book but a lot I didn't like. I'm not sure if I'm just being too picky but I really,really, really wanted to like this book but it just missed it's mark for me. I have enjoyed books by this author before and will read more from her in the future, this particular book just wasn't for me.
June 17, 2016
Another awesome Kindle Unlimited find. I loved Jake Turner and how a sassy southern woman and her son helped bring him back from the brink.
April 15, 2019
RECENSIONE QUI: https://thereadingslove.blogspot.com/...
Non so da dove iniziare a parlarvi di questo libro bellissimo che mi ha coinvolto più di quanto pensassi. È una storia assolutamente avvincente, straziante e intensa. Sono una grande fan dei romanzi militari e questo è uno dei più belli che io abbia mai letto. L’autrice porta alla luce quelli che sono gli orrori a cui i soldati sono esposti durante la guerra e i demoni che devono affrontare quando cercano di tornare alla normalità. Posso iniziare col dirvi che la Jenner ha creato una commovente storia sull’amore, sulla famiglia e sulla forza di andare avanti nonostante le brutture della guerra e della vita. È un romanzo potente e profondo che si fa amare per tutto ciò che racchiude: per la sofferenza, l’amore sofferto e perduto, la guerra che distrugge ogni cosa e per la rinascita di una donna e di un uomo che lottano per stare insieme e superare il passato. Il libro è una montagna russa, un sali e scendi di emozioni che tocca il cuore di chi lo legge. È la storia di Ellie e Jake, due anime che trovano l’amore quando meno se lo aspettano. Ellie non ha avuto una vita facile, la vediamo lottare ogni giorno per suo figlio Spencer affetto da autismo, lavorare duramente per sfamare lei e suo figlio e affrontare la solitudine che ogni giorno la attanaglia. Pagina dopo pagina veniamo trasportati nella sua vita, nella sua battaglia quotidiana di lottare sempre e non arrendersi mai. Jake Tucker è un uomo distrutto, è un eroe di guerra e un personaggio che è entrato nel mio cuore sin dalla prima pagina. L’ho amato per la sua forza e per il suo coraggio, il suo istinto di sopravvivenza, il suo essere temerario e al tempo stesso per il suo riuscire a combattere la paura sul campo di battaglia. Tutti noi possiamo essere forti e dimostrare di valere, ma quando ci troviamo di fronte al dolore è proprio lì che dobbiamo dimostrare di essere in grado di essere forti. Il dolore di plasma, ci rende fragili, ci mette di fronte ad una scelta: arrendersi o combattere ancora. Jake si trova ad affrontare la sua nuova vita lontano dalla guerra dopo aver perso i suoi compagni, prova un passo alla volta a tornare ad una normalità che non gli è mai appartenuta. Il disturbo da stress post traumatico è come una spada di Damocle per pende sulla sua testa, non solo non si accorge di quanto è rimasto segnato, ma nega persino a se stesso di avere dei problemi e di aver bisogno di aiuto. Ogni volta che chiude gli occhi, Jake può ancora vedere gli orrori della guerra, le atrocità e i crimini a cui ha assistito, la guerra lo ha distrutto non solo fisicamente ma soprattutto psicologicamente. I flashback del suo passato in guerra mi hanno colpito nel profondo e in ogni pagina ho sperato che lui superasse questi incubi, che l’amore di Ellie lo aiutasse a sconfiggerli. Pagina dopo pagina, riga dopo riga la sofferenza di Jake entrerà dentro di voi, vi trasmetterà tutte le emozioni che lui prova e voi le sentirete una dopo l'altra, accuserete ogni colpo e vi sentirete distrutti quanto il suo cuore. Molte volte ho desiderato abbracciarlo, cancellare il suo dolore e dirgli che tutto può cambiare, che deve lottare per rimanere a galla e che solo l’amore di Spencer ed Ellie possono salvarlo. Ellie riesce a far emergere il lato buono di Jake, il suo essere un uomo buono e premuroso, il suo senso di protezione nei suoi confronti e in quelli di Spencer. Anche lei la vediamo lottare con se stessa, con la sua solitudine, con il suo aver perso un po’ se stessa dopo aver dedicato anima e corpo a suo figlio. Lei è la nostra eroina, il simbolo della forza e del coraggio, dell’amore e dell’affetto materno e Jake lotta per lei, per il suo amore, per suo figlio perché vuole essere un uomo migliore. Ho amato il rapporto tra Spencer e Jake, uno dei più dolci e toccanti che io abbia mai letto. Non si può rimanere indifferente di fronte ad un libro intenso che scava nel dolore, nello sconforto, nei rimpianti, nei fallimenti, nei sensi di colpa che logorano, nella paura di andare avanti e rischiare di cancellare ciò che di bello c’era. Carmen Jenner è riuscita a scrivere una storia reale e profonda con personaggi che hanno uno spessore e che fin dall’inizio entrano nel nostro cuore facendoci provare tutte le emozioni che provano loro, i loro stati d’animo e solo quando arriviamo alla fine ci rendiamo conto che sono entrati fin troppo dentro nella nostra anima e che è difficile lasciarli andare via. Posso immaginare quanto è stato difficile mettere su carta questa storia e comprendere ciò che Jake ha vissuto. Bisogna trovare la forza e il coraggio di ricominciare, di rimboccarsi le maniche e riprendere la vita da dove l’abbiamo lasciata. Tutto ciò fa parte del ciclo della vita, non abbiamo una vita eterna ma brevi momenti da assaporare e vivere fino in fondo. Non esiste separazione definitiva finché esiste il ricordo. L’autrice attraverso una storia intensa, scritta magistralmente con il suo stile semplice e d’effetto e con i suoi personaggi ben caratterizzati ci apre gli occhi e ci fa riflettere sulla vita di chi torna in guerra completamente distrutto a livello psicologico, di quello che devono affrontare non solo loro ma anche chi è accanto a loro. Amore è ciò che si respira in ogni pagina di questo romanzo, amore incondizionato e passionale tra i due protagonisti…
CONTINUA SUL NOSTRO BLOG. VENITE A TROVARCI
https://thereadingslove.blogspot.com/
Non so da dove iniziare a parlarvi di questo libro bellissimo che mi ha coinvolto più di quanto pensassi. È una storia assolutamente avvincente, straziante e intensa. Sono una grande fan dei romanzi militari e questo è uno dei più belli che io abbia mai letto. L’autrice porta alla luce quelli che sono gli orrori a cui i soldati sono esposti durante la guerra e i demoni che devono affrontare quando cercano di tornare alla normalità. Posso iniziare col dirvi che la Jenner ha creato una commovente storia sull’amore, sulla famiglia e sulla forza di andare avanti nonostante le brutture della guerra e della vita. È un romanzo potente e profondo che si fa amare per tutto ciò che racchiude: per la sofferenza, l’amore sofferto e perduto, la guerra che distrugge ogni cosa e per la rinascita di una donna e di un uomo che lottano per stare insieme e superare il passato. Il libro è una montagna russa, un sali e scendi di emozioni che tocca il cuore di chi lo legge. È la storia di Ellie e Jake, due anime che trovano l’amore quando meno se lo aspettano. Ellie non ha avuto una vita facile, la vediamo lottare ogni giorno per suo figlio Spencer affetto da autismo, lavorare duramente per sfamare lei e suo figlio e affrontare la solitudine che ogni giorno la attanaglia. Pagina dopo pagina veniamo trasportati nella sua vita, nella sua battaglia quotidiana di lottare sempre e non arrendersi mai. Jake Tucker è un uomo distrutto, è un eroe di guerra e un personaggio che è entrato nel mio cuore sin dalla prima pagina. L’ho amato per la sua forza e per il suo coraggio, il suo istinto di sopravvivenza, il suo essere temerario e al tempo stesso per il suo riuscire a combattere la paura sul campo di battaglia. Tutti noi possiamo essere forti e dimostrare di valere, ma quando ci troviamo di fronte al dolore è proprio lì che dobbiamo dimostrare di essere in grado di essere forti. Il dolore di plasma, ci rende fragili, ci mette di fronte ad una scelta: arrendersi o combattere ancora. Jake si trova ad affrontare la sua nuova vita lontano dalla guerra dopo aver perso i suoi compagni, prova un passo alla volta a tornare ad una normalità che non gli è mai appartenuta. Il disturbo da stress post traumatico è come una spada di Damocle per pende sulla sua testa, non solo non si accorge di quanto è rimasto segnato, ma nega persino a se stesso di avere dei problemi e di aver bisogno di aiuto. Ogni volta che chiude gli occhi, Jake può ancora vedere gli orrori della guerra, le atrocità e i crimini a cui ha assistito, la guerra lo ha distrutto non solo fisicamente ma soprattutto psicologicamente. I flashback del suo passato in guerra mi hanno colpito nel profondo e in ogni pagina ho sperato che lui superasse questi incubi, che l’amore di Ellie lo aiutasse a sconfiggerli. Pagina dopo pagina, riga dopo riga la sofferenza di Jake entrerà dentro di voi, vi trasmetterà tutte le emozioni che lui prova e voi le sentirete una dopo l'altra, accuserete ogni colpo e vi sentirete distrutti quanto il suo cuore. Molte volte ho desiderato abbracciarlo, cancellare il suo dolore e dirgli che tutto può cambiare, che deve lottare per rimanere a galla e che solo l’amore di Spencer ed Ellie possono salvarlo. Ellie riesce a far emergere il lato buono di Jake, il suo essere un uomo buono e premuroso, il suo senso di protezione nei suoi confronti e in quelli di Spencer. Anche lei la vediamo lottare con se stessa, con la sua solitudine, con il suo aver perso un po’ se stessa dopo aver dedicato anima e corpo a suo figlio. Lei è la nostra eroina, il simbolo della forza e del coraggio, dell’amore e dell’affetto materno e Jake lotta per lei, per il suo amore, per suo figlio perché vuole essere un uomo migliore. Ho amato il rapporto tra Spencer e Jake, uno dei più dolci e toccanti che io abbia mai letto. Non si può rimanere indifferente di fronte ad un libro intenso che scava nel dolore, nello sconforto, nei rimpianti, nei fallimenti, nei sensi di colpa che logorano, nella paura di andare avanti e rischiare di cancellare ciò che di bello c’era. Carmen Jenner è riuscita a scrivere una storia reale e profonda con personaggi che hanno uno spessore e che fin dall’inizio entrano nel nostro cuore facendoci provare tutte le emozioni che provano loro, i loro stati d’animo e solo quando arriviamo alla fine ci rendiamo conto che sono entrati fin troppo dentro nella nostra anima e che è difficile lasciarli andare via. Posso immaginare quanto è stato difficile mettere su carta questa storia e comprendere ciò che Jake ha vissuto. Bisogna trovare la forza e il coraggio di ricominciare, di rimboccarsi le maniche e riprendere la vita da dove l’abbiamo lasciata. Tutto ciò fa parte del ciclo della vita, non abbiamo una vita eterna ma brevi momenti da assaporare e vivere fino in fondo. Non esiste separazione definitiva finché esiste il ricordo. L’autrice attraverso una storia intensa, scritta magistralmente con il suo stile semplice e d’effetto e con i suoi personaggi ben caratterizzati ci apre gli occhi e ci fa riflettere sulla vita di chi torna in guerra completamente distrutto a livello psicologico, di quello che devono affrontare non solo loro ma anche chi è accanto a loro. Amore è ciò che si respira in ogni pagina di questo romanzo, amore incondizionato e passionale tra i due protagonisti…
CONTINUA SUL NOSTRO BLOG. VENITE A TROVARCI
https://thereadingslove.blogspot.com/
April 12, 2019
RECENSIONE COMPLETA: https://loveisinthebookblog.blogspot....
May 18, 2016
Let me go ahead and get this out of the way and warn you; this book will NOT be an easy read. There are no hearts and flowers and insta-love. There's no picturesque venue with blue skies and rainbows. There's no huge obstacle that they need to overcome to finally be together. So what is there you ask? There's truth. Honesty. A realness you'd be hard-pressed to find anywhere else. Toward the Sound of Chaos is without a doubt the most honest book I've ever read. There's a rawness that you find yourself feeling when you come to the inevitable conclusion that there IS no solution to the demons these characters face. There's only learning to live with and adapt to them. And the most beautiful thing about it is that's perfectly okay. What plagues our characters is what makes them uniquely wonderful in their own right. Without these differences, they wouldn't be who they are, and that would be a travesty.
Jake suffers from severe PTSD from five tours, the last one leaving him a POW and one step away from death. Ellie's son Spencer is Autistic and has Sensory Processing Disorder. One of these is hard enough to deal with, both the combination of both is heartwrenchingly crippling. But what most would call disorders, I just saw as stepping stones to cement them in each other's lives in a way that would forever stick. I believe it's only through life's toughest obstacles that we truly find out who we are and what we're made of.
There were really four relationships that stuck out to me in this story. Jake and Ellie. Jake and Spencer. Ellie and Spencer. And Ellie, Spencer, and Mr Williams. Each one was more endearing than the previous one and by the end of the book I wasn't ready to let these characters go. We first meet Ellie and Spencer and through them you are truly able to understand a mother's love and sacrifice for her child. Those moments when Spencer was having a sensory fit and would scream the most hateful things at her tore my heart wide open. I could literally feel her pain bleeding from the pages. In the same breath though, the rare glimpses of love he had for her broke through like the sun on a rainy day and made me fall in love with him just a little bit more. The interactions between Jake and Spencer would warm the darkest of hearts. Through each of their own struggles, there was a kinship that put them on the same level. They were able to understand each other without all the outside noise in a way that most other people couldn't. I truly think it was the glue that cemented Jake and Ellie.
Jake and Ellie... I don't even know where to start. I was rooting for them from the beginning but whew, I had no idea how they were going to get there. I can't even begin to count how many times my heart broke for them, especially Jake, throughout this book. Each time I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. But through it all, they fought. Fought for each other, fought against each other, fought against themselves. And through that emerged a strength in each of them that I'm willing to bet they had no idea was there. Through the good and the bad, and there was plenty of bad and hopelessness, they found their way into each other's hearts in a way you just knew would never be erased. There was such strength in them, even when all you could feel was despair. They never truly gave up. This is, without a doubt, the most honest account of PTSD I have ever read or seen through media. And trust me, unless you've experienced it first hand, you have no idea what you are in for. It will strip everything you thought you knew bare and leave you writhing on the floor just like Jake was. I don't think a book has ever made me feel this much and this kind of pain as reading each of his scenes did. I can promise that you will look at veterans with a whole other level of respect after reading this though. This book demands to be read and strived to open your eyes to things that are often swept under the rug as not being real. But they are very real folks, and if you ever doubted it, just read this story. Jenner makes you work for it, but that will only make you appreciate it all the more once you are done. Jake and Ellie won't leave me for a long time, and I'm a-okay with that.
Jake suffers from severe PTSD from five tours, the last one leaving him a POW and one step away from death. Ellie's son Spencer is Autistic and has Sensory Processing Disorder. One of these is hard enough to deal with, both the combination of both is heartwrenchingly crippling. But what most would call disorders, I just saw as stepping stones to cement them in each other's lives in a way that would forever stick. I believe it's only through life's toughest obstacles that we truly find out who we are and what we're made of.
There were really four relationships that stuck out to me in this story. Jake and Ellie. Jake and Spencer. Ellie and Spencer. And Ellie, Spencer, and Mr Williams. Each one was more endearing than the previous one and by the end of the book I wasn't ready to let these characters go. We first meet Ellie and Spencer and through them you are truly able to understand a mother's love and sacrifice for her child. Those moments when Spencer was having a sensory fit and would scream the most hateful things at her tore my heart wide open. I could literally feel her pain bleeding from the pages. In the same breath though, the rare glimpses of love he had for her broke through like the sun on a rainy day and made me fall in love with him just a little bit more. The interactions between Jake and Spencer would warm the darkest of hearts. Through each of their own struggles, there was a kinship that put them on the same level. They were able to understand each other without all the outside noise in a way that most other people couldn't. I truly think it was the glue that cemented Jake and Ellie.
Jake and Ellie... I don't even know where to start. I was rooting for them from the beginning but whew, I had no idea how they were going to get there. I can't even begin to count how many times my heart broke for them, especially Jake, throughout this book. Each time I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. But through it all, they fought. Fought for each other, fought against each other, fought against themselves. And through that emerged a strength in each of them that I'm willing to bet they had no idea was there. Through the good and the bad, and there was plenty of bad and hopelessness, they found their way into each other's hearts in a way you just knew would never be erased. There was such strength in them, even when all you could feel was despair. They never truly gave up. This is, without a doubt, the most honest account of PTSD I have ever read or seen through media. And trust me, unless you've experienced it first hand, you have no idea what you are in for. It will strip everything you thought you knew bare and leave you writhing on the floor just like Jake was. I don't think a book has ever made me feel this much and this kind of pain as reading each of his scenes did. I can promise that you will look at veterans with a whole other level of respect after reading this though. This book demands to be read and strived to open your eyes to things that are often swept under the rug as not being real. But they are very real folks, and if you ever doubted it, just read this story. Jenner makes you work for it, but that will only make you appreciate it all the more once you are done. Jake and Ellie won't leave me for a long time, and I'm a-okay with that.
May 15, 2016
Having read some of Carmen's stories in the past, I thought I knew what type of book I was going to be reading. The ones I've read so far, were all good and I even got to review her last one. Author's like this one who can shock me, render me speechless by writing an intense, raw and a very powerful story is a major accomplishment. She stepped out of her norm in order to deliver one of the best story I've ever had the pleasure of reading so far. That says a lot because I've read so many books that I've lost count. I give 4-5 stars often because I love books, authors and reading. But in this case it's not nearly enough because this story touched me in a way that I was left thinking about it long after the last page was read. It's safe to say that this a solid 6 incredible star story.
Fair warning if you are looking to read a story similar to the ones she's written before, well it's not even close. It surpasses them with her flawed characters that have real life issues.
ARC of Toward the Sound of Chaos by Carmen Jenner provided in exchange for an honest spoiler free review. I was lucky enough to receive an ARC of this breathtakingly beautiful love story of epic proportions that I hope from the bottom of my heart that my review will do it justice.
Jake is a war veteran who suffers and battles with PTSD each and every day. Nuke is his service dog, his faithful companion. Jake can't seem to get close to people because he's afraid that the broken man he is, is not enough. He's ashamed of who he's become and most of all to hurt people. That is until he gets to know Ellie and her son Spencer. Ellie is hiding from something so terrible and above all that her son has a form of autism. She has no time for herself because she's a single mother and all her time is spent to take care of her son. Jake is trying very hard to stay away from them but will he loose that battle? Is Ellie ever going to let Jake in and trust him?
What made up this hole story, are the characters. They were perfectly, uniquely, creativity crafted to fit this story. I felt what they were feeling. Their emotions seeped through the pages to come out and latch themselves to my heart, body, mind and soul. Jake is the silent, broody, mysterious non approachable type. But yet the most caring, selfless, protective man that would do anything in order to keep Ellie and Spencer safe. Ellie, the survivor, sassy, loving, patient woman who loves her son immensely and believes in Jake. Jake and Ellie have a strong connection probably from having suffered through traumatic events. They have chemistry but this is not a sexual kind of book at all. It ran way deeper than that. Even Nuke the service dog had it's important role in this story as a fierce companion to Jake and at times to Spencer.
The author's deep and beautiful writing was very captivating, endearing and very addictive. It made my soul weep and sing all at the same time. I was drawn and sucked right in to this story full of emotions that put me on a roller coaster ride of a lifetime. A gripping tale of abuse, trauma, PTSD and unquestionable acceptance showing the healing power of love. Added with a bit of suspense that kept me on the edge of my seat all throughout. What I love about this story is that it was far from being predictable. There were some major shifts in the story that I didn't see coming at all. There is no slow easing into this story, it sucked me right in ready or not to the point that I just kept reading for hours because it captivated me to no end. A seamless plot with an incredible storyline. Overall it was the perfect story for me.
A big piece of my heart was left with these characters way after I was done reading this story. By writing this review I got to prolong this amazing journey. This is a standalone written in a dual POV with a much deserved HEA. If the readers have never read a book written by Carmen Jenner before, just take a leap of faith, trust me and read this one. This author has quite a few books to choose from also that come highly recommended.
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