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Always Anastacia: A Transgender Life in South Africa
“I stand in front of the mirror as I remind myself that I don’t have to wear the uniform anymore. I don’t have to dress myself in men’s attire. I can grow out my nails, and paint them with polish. I am finally free to have my ears pierced. I can speak in the voice that I’ve spent so many hours cultivating with my speech therapist. I don’t have to hide my disgust anymore at being called “boet” or “sir”. I no longer have to tolerate any references to my deadname.”
Anastacia has fought hard for her right to live, held back for decades by a body that didn’t fit, and an identity that never belonged to her. At first, it had seemed impossible – like transition was some romantic, impractical ideal that was incompatible with reality. But now, after five months of hormone therapy, countless sessions of painful laser hair removal, multiple appointments with doctors and psychologists, it is very much a reality.
Born into a Jewish family in Johannesburg and raised by her parents as a boy, Anastacia Tomson was never sure just how much of her persistent internal discomfort to blame on an often troubled family life. She qualified and practised as a doctor, but it would take a great deal more clear-sighted and difficult questioning to finally find peace and self-acceptance, as a woman. This memoir is a clarion call for a more nuanced understanding of trans people and the concepts of sex, gender and identity.
Anastacia has fought hard for her right to live, held back for decades by a body that didn’t fit, and an identity that never belonged to her. At first, it had seemed impossible – like transition was some romantic, impractical ideal that was incompatible with reality. But now, after five months of hormone therapy, countless sessions of painful laser hair removal, multiple appointments with doctors and psychologists, it is very much a reality.
Born into a Jewish family in Johannesburg and raised by her parents as a boy, Anastacia Tomson was never sure just how much of her persistent internal discomfort to blame on an often troubled family life. She qualified and practised as a doctor, but it would take a great deal more clear-sighted and difficult questioning to finally find peace and self-acceptance, as a woman. This memoir is a clarion call for a more nuanced understanding of trans people and the concepts of sex, gender and identity.
206 pages, Paperback
Published May 1, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
July 3, 2016
On the evening of the launch, I purchased a copy of Anastacia Thomson’s book, “A Transgender Life in South Africa” .
The book is a first hand account of a woman, who was assigned male at birth, due to external genitalia
I was naive in my thinking that I was reasonably informed regarding terms used within the LGBT community. The book exposed me to much deeper layers of vocabulary and seeking definitions. Not only in language, but a sincere comprehension on the topic of living a transgender life.
By nature of the topic, the book is a very personal encounter of Anastacia’s life. The emotions surrounding her journey are captured in depth, yet I found it difficult to connect with the obvious capable and intelligent writer.
The book includes many instances of setting the scene, or describing an individual that is not mentioned in the book again. I felt irritated by the mundane details while searching for the meat in the storyline.
The relationship between the writer and long term partner, Jennifer could have been explored more, giving the reader a better understanding of the persons involved and how being transgendered hindered, or even helped the relationship. Same with brother Leo. I found the “character” lacking in realism. While addressing the difficulty in being Jewish, as Judaism has clearly defined gender roles, I was left with many questions. Where to from here?
The relationship between the writer and her mother was better developed. Perhaps because the process brought them emotionally closer to one another.
We need brave writers to educate, expose and challenge topics with truth, evoking empathy and compassion within the reader. I do give Anastacia a standing ovation for bravery!
I rate this book as a 3/5 with gratitude for writing honestly about such a difficult topic.
The book is a first hand account of a woman, who was assigned male at birth, due to external genitalia
I was naive in my thinking that I was reasonably informed regarding terms used within the LGBT community. The book exposed me to much deeper layers of vocabulary and seeking definitions. Not only in language, but a sincere comprehension on the topic of living a transgender life.
By nature of the topic, the book is a very personal encounter of Anastacia’s life. The emotions surrounding her journey are captured in depth, yet I found it difficult to connect with the obvious capable and intelligent writer.
The book includes many instances of setting the scene, or describing an individual that is not mentioned in the book again. I felt irritated by the mundane details while searching for the meat in the storyline.
The relationship between the writer and long term partner, Jennifer could have been explored more, giving the reader a better understanding of the persons involved and how being transgendered hindered, or even helped the relationship. Same with brother Leo. I found the “character” lacking in realism. While addressing the difficulty in being Jewish, as Judaism has clearly defined gender roles, I was left with many questions. Where to from here?
The relationship between the writer and her mother was better developed. Perhaps because the process brought them emotionally closer to one another.
We need brave writers to educate, expose and challenge topics with truth, evoking empathy and compassion within the reader. I do give Anastacia a standing ovation for bravery!
I rate this book as a 3/5 with gratitude for writing honestly about such a difficult topic.
July 14, 2016
A very readable and sometimes sad but ultimately hopeful description of the author's journey as a transgender woman in South Africa. She is a medical doctor and a gender activist with impressive public speaking credentials. I met her this summer in Columbus, Ohio at the Community Festival where we were both volunteering at the Comfest Museum. She had only been in the US one week, having arrived just in time the week before for our Pride celebration, which was particularly of interest this year since it came less than a week after the Orlando tragedy.
Her writing is very detailed and down to earth. She does a great job personalizing the other people she encounters along the way of her journey, even those who do not accord her respect, much less compassion. She explains how her transition was effected and why she chose to do so, especially in the face of objections by both strangers and those she knows. She also sets out some guidelines useful for people to follow who are not sensitized to gender issues.
A necessary book for anyone who wants to understand the transgender journey, whether it be for themselves or for a loved one or for general knowledge and increased compassion toward our fellow human beings.
Her writing is very detailed and down to earth. She does a great job personalizing the other people she encounters along the way of her journey, even those who do not accord her respect, much less compassion. She explains how her transition was effected and why she chose to do so, especially in the face of objections by both strangers and those she knows. She also sets out some guidelines useful for people to follow who are not sensitized to gender issues.
A necessary book for anyone who wants to understand the transgender journey, whether it be for themselves or for a loved one or for general knowledge and increased compassion toward our fellow human beings.
August 13, 2019
"Transition is a gruelling process. There is hardship at every turn dealing with ignorant healthcare professionals to gain access to treatment, trying to convince government departments to amend identity documents, fighting against a conservative society that would sooner write people off as freaks than try to understand their struggles or ease their strenuous journeys."
Anastacia Tomson's brutally honest memoir lays bare some of the most difficult aspects of being transgender, not just in South Africa, but in a world that resists having conventions challenged. She details how she's never felt comfortable in a male body, even as a child and takes the reader through her journey of discovery and self-actualisation. Despite her success as a medical doctor, Anastacia, knows something is missing. It takes her some time to come to terms with the fact that she's a woman, which makes her admission about who she really is, and her transition all the more meaningful.
The book questions our notions of what gender is, what beauty is and resists easy definitions of what makes us human through resisting prescriptive norms. It will have you questioning your own prejudices and homogenous beliefs by highlighting not just hardships but triumph over adversity.
Anastacia Tomson's brutally honest memoir lays bare some of the most difficult aspects of being transgender, not just in South Africa, but in a world that resists having conventions challenged. She details how she's never felt comfortable in a male body, even as a child and takes the reader through her journey of discovery and self-actualisation. Despite her success as a medical doctor, Anastacia, knows something is missing. It takes her some time to come to terms with the fact that she's a woman, which makes her admission about who she really is, and her transition all the more meaningful.
The book questions our notions of what gender is, what beauty is and resists easy definitions of what makes us human through resisting prescriptive norms. It will have you questioning your own prejudices and homogenous beliefs by highlighting not just hardships but triumph over adversity.
December 11, 2017
The author made some interesting observations about the intricacies of the transition process, particularly the administrative and cosmetic aspects, but overall I was quite disappointed. The text made little effort to engage with any of the issues it brought up, like the nuances between sex, gender, and sexuality. The self-congratulatory tone was undercut by the author's lack of reflexivity - a paradox most acute in the discussion of Judaism's sexism.
Interesting as a symptomatic read, but hardly an excoriating text.
Interesting as a symptomatic read, but hardly an excoriating text.
July 11, 2020
This was really helpful in understanding transgender. It puts a voice and a story behind what is a concept in my mind and gives the opportunity to understand the feelings that people who are transgendered feel and their struggle.
July 3, 2016
If you’re looking for a book that will take you through a medical description and analysis of the transgender process, then I suggest you look elsewhere. This is not the book you’re looking for.
Always Anastacia is one woman’s highly personal, heartfelt, sensitive and more often than not, painful journey about what it is like to live one’s life assigned male at birth, all along knowing that you are not male; experiencing what is known as ‘gender dysphoria’, and eventually recognising that you are in fact, female.
Let me make it easier for you to comprehend. Imagine one morning, you put on a shirt that is a size too small. It’s a little uncomfortable, but you don’t have time to change it. As the day progresses, the shirt becomes more and more uncomfortable to wear, to the point where it’s actually unbearable and completely unpleasant. You can’t wait to get home and take it off! That’s how Anastacia felt for most of her life in a body and persona that just didn’t fit who she really was.
In this memoir, Anastacia pieces together various accounts that she experienced along her journey to becoming who she is today. In many she describes scenes that may seem inconsequential to many readers, including such mundane details like sitting in restaurants, or walking through busy shopping malls. As I understand it, what may seem like trivial details to many of us, were actually huge factors in her life at those specific moments in time. Anastacia was experiencing those elements as a natural woman, which she may not necessarily have done before, and was being recognised for it. That small detail of being addressed as ‘Ma’am’ by a waitress or shop assistance, was huge at the time and merited a mention, and I appreciated each reference as it was made.
Obviously, there needs to be mention of medical process, but this is done somewhat delicately and peripherally, referencing the unfortunate lack of sensitivity by most of the medical profession, clearly showing that there is still a long road to be travelled towards acceptance and open-mindedness.
As much as Anastacia didn’t think she could ever be an activist, she has come to realise that it was impossible for her to keep quiet once she found her true voice. Albert Einstein said “Be a voice, not an echo.” Anastacia is most certainly her own voice, and a voice that is determined to be heard!
Always Anastacia is one woman’s highly personal, heartfelt, sensitive and more often than not, painful journey about what it is like to live one’s life assigned male at birth, all along knowing that you are not male; experiencing what is known as ‘gender dysphoria’, and eventually recognising that you are in fact, female.
Let me make it easier for you to comprehend. Imagine one morning, you put on a shirt that is a size too small. It’s a little uncomfortable, but you don’t have time to change it. As the day progresses, the shirt becomes more and more uncomfortable to wear, to the point where it’s actually unbearable and completely unpleasant. You can’t wait to get home and take it off! That’s how Anastacia felt for most of her life in a body and persona that just didn’t fit who she really was.
In this memoir, Anastacia pieces together various accounts that she experienced along her journey to becoming who she is today. In many she describes scenes that may seem inconsequential to many readers, including such mundane details like sitting in restaurants, or walking through busy shopping malls. As I understand it, what may seem like trivial details to many of us, were actually huge factors in her life at those specific moments in time. Anastacia was experiencing those elements as a natural woman, which she may not necessarily have done before, and was being recognised for it. That small detail of being addressed as ‘Ma’am’ by a waitress or shop assistance, was huge at the time and merited a mention, and I appreciated each reference as it was made.
Obviously, there needs to be mention of medical process, but this is done somewhat delicately and peripherally, referencing the unfortunate lack of sensitivity by most of the medical profession, clearly showing that there is still a long road to be travelled towards acceptance and open-mindedness.
As much as Anastacia didn’t think she could ever be an activist, she has come to realise that it was impossible for her to keep quiet once she found her true voice. Albert Einstein said “Be a voice, not an echo.” Anastacia is most certainly her own voice, and a voice that is determined to be heard!
July 2, 2016
Always Anastacia by Anastacia Tomson
This book is an excellent insight into the journey that transgender people have to travel. It is a courageous account of self discovery and transition as Anastacia embraces her truth as the person she has always been
Born into a Jewish family in Johannesburg and raised by her parents as a boy, Anastacia Tomson was never sure just how much of her persistent internal discomfort was to blame on an often troubled family life. She qualified and practised as a doctor, but it would take a great deal more clear-sighted and difficult questioning to finally find peace and self-acceptance, as a woman.
Extract from the book “Why did it have to be me? Why had my wires become crossed? Why had I fallen victim to some bizarre hormonal glitch, before I had even been born?”
Always Anastacia has had massive media coverage. You can listen to one of her interviews below:
https://soundcloud.com/primediabroadc...
This is a book we all need to read, to understand, accept and at the same time be educated. A deservedly 5 stars
This book is an excellent insight into the journey that transgender people have to travel. It is a courageous account of self discovery and transition as Anastacia embraces her truth as the person she has always been
Born into a Jewish family in Johannesburg and raised by her parents as a boy, Anastacia Tomson was never sure just how much of her persistent internal discomfort was to blame on an often troubled family life. She qualified and practised as a doctor, but it would take a great deal more clear-sighted and difficult questioning to finally find peace and self-acceptance, as a woman.
Extract from the book “Why did it have to be me? Why had my wires become crossed? Why had I fallen victim to some bizarre hormonal glitch, before I had even been born?”
Always Anastacia has had massive media coverage. You can listen to one of her interviews below:
https://soundcloud.com/primediabroadc...
This is a book we all need to read, to understand, accept and at the same time be educated. A deservedly 5 stars
January 27, 2017
An amazing story of a woman who found her truth and set it free - a great recommendation to understand gender dysphoria and transgender issues.
April 27, 2017
What a struggle - the hair, the voice and the societal push - back! Just awful realizing how difficult it is to present as anything other than one's status at birth. I'm left relieved that I have never felt compelled to secure anything out of the ordinary from Home Affairs. An enlightening - if discouraging account.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews