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96 pages, Hardcover
First published March 28, 2017
His disciples said, When will you be visible to us? and when will we see you?All right, I thought, let's go.
He said, When you undress and are not ashamed.
–The Gospel According to Thomas
Magdalene: The Addict
I liked Hell,
I liked to go there alone
relieved to lie in the wreckage, ruined, physically undone.
The worst had happened. What else could hurt me then?
I thought it was the worst, thought nothing worse could come.
Then nothing did, and no one.
The Landing
I stood beside the high cupboard that
covered
the radiator in the hall (inside the
drawers: the odd pencils and pins
we couldn’t find when we needed
them)
near the front stairs that rose up and
turned by the high windows.
What did we call that space? The
landing.
All the pills had brought me to that
place
And I understood that if I kept it all up...
no one would know me.
A dim light far in the distance? No.
To love—I had to be there.
I had to be there to be loved.