Getting Rid of Mister Kitchen

by Charlie Higson

A man kills a prospective buyer for his car. On the verge of becoming a name in the interior design world, he can't afford a scandal and must discreetly dispose of the body—not an easy job when the whole of London seems to be conspiring against him.

Genres: Fiction, Crime, Humor, Mystery

219 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1996

About the author

Higson was educated at Sevenoaks School and at the University of East Anglia (where his brother has taught since 1986 and is now a professor of film studies) where he met Paul Whitehouse, David Cummings and Terry Edwards. Higson, Cummings and Edwards formed the band The Higsons of which Higson was the lead singer from 1980 to 1986. They released two singles on the Specials' 2-Tone label. Higson then became a plasterer before he turned to writing for Harry Enfield with Paul Whitehouse and performing comedy. He came to public attention as one of the main writers and performers of the BBC Two sketch show The Fast Show (1994-2000). He worked with Whitehouse on the radio comedy Down the Line and is to work with him again on a television project, designed to be a spoof of celebrity travel programmes.[1:]

He worked as producer, writer, director and occasional guest star on Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) from 2000 to 2001. Subsequent television work has included writing and starring in BBC Three's Fast Show spin-off sitcom Swiss Toni. He is currently starring in Tittybangbang series 3 on BBC Three and has appeared as a panellist on QI.

He published four novels through the early to mid 1990s which take a slightly dystopian look at everyday life and have a considerably more adult tone than his other work, with characters on the margins of society finding themselves spiraling out of control, leading him to be described by Time Out as 'The missing link between Dick Emery and Brett Easton Ellis' [2:]

In 2004, it was announced that Higson would pen a series of James Bond novels, aimed at younger readers and concentrating on the character's school-days at Eton. Higson was himself educated at Sevenoaks School where he was a contemporary of Jonathan Evans, current Director General of MI5. The first novel, SilverFin, was released on 3 March 2005 in the UK and on 27 April 2005 in the U.S. A second novel, Blood Fever, was released on 5 January 2006 in the UK and 1 June in the U.S. The third novel, Double or Die, was published on 4 January 2007 having had its title announced the day before. The next, Hurricane Gold, came out in hardcover in the UK in September 2007.[3:]In this year he also made a debut performance on the panel show QI. His final Young Bond novel, By Royal Command, was released in hardcover in the UK on the 3 September 2008.[4:]

Charlie has signed a deal to pen a new series of children's books for Puffin. According to the author, "They are going to be action adventures, but with a horror angle

Reviews

[Baba · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dark comedy with a sculptor who commits an accidental murder; and spends the rest of the day trying to get rid of the body. The humour in the concept over egged the humour in the book. 5 out of 12.
2010 read

[Andy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disgusting, outrageous, hilarious. Can't recommend highly or loudly enough.

[Malise · Rating 1 out of 5]

For a novel with only 219 pages, the phrase "fucking ponce" was said far too many times. I get that it's meant to immerse the reader in the world of downtown London, but I thought this was meant to be a crime novel in which, you guessed it, we were getting rid of Mister Kitchen. But Mister Kitchen and his disposal seemed to lay on the back burner for a lot of this novel and instead, Higson filled the pages with long passages about hell, the origins of aspirin and other various drugs and multiple long-winded speels about Darwinism which added nothing to the plot except for our protagonist to make himself highly unlikeable and have a rant every thirty pages or so. On top of these long drawn out rants, Higson just really writes some disgusting stuff in which incestuous relationships with your first cousin is considered alongside purely vile language. I'm not one to mind bad language in a book when used to express a point with passion but mixed with his very loose, colloquial writing style, it served to just make the protagonist even more unlikeable if that was even possible.

I'm not gonna lie; I didn't read the last twenty pages of this book. It was nothing special and I had other bigger and better things to be indulging my time on.

[Amar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very black but funny and well written

[Neil Geddes · Rating 1 out of 5]

Absolute rubbish.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny, dark, good twist, bit limp ending

[N.c.m. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd say this is more 3.5 than 3. Very witty in a dry, sort of painful way. Series of events were a tad too unrealistic for my liking, and I found the narrator unsympathetic and detestable, which made the ending quite enjoyable for me.

[Simon Parsons · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to enjoy this book, having seen the Tv output of the author - but it really struggled to keep me engaged - pity

[Rob · Rating 3 out of 5]

An amusing enough farce, that intermittently delves into more serious topics, sometimes successfully.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brutal, funny, disturbing… I loved this book!

[nina turner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reminded me of the film Falling Down, except darker and more disturbing. A very dark book.

[Okenwillow · Rating 5 out of 5]

L’humour anglais, l’humour, noir, et l’humour noir anglais, voilà qui m’a tout de suite attirée. On entre de plein pied dans le monde branchouille du narrateur, designer à l’ego épanoui et très vite détestable. Le récit démarre sur les chapeaux de roue, les multiples contretemps, déboires, manque de bol et autres catastrophes s’enchaînent à un rythme soutenu. Le flegme britannique de notre anti-héros ne suffit pas à lui faire garder la tête froide et il devra user de bon nombre de drogues pour ne pas céder à la panique. Tout au long de cette effroyable journée, on assiste à la décadence de notre homme, qui, malgré toutes les embûches qu’il rencontrera ne se départira jamais de son but, se débarrasser du cadavre. On oscille entre absurde et délire. Certaines scènes sont juste d’une délicieuse invraisemblance, on partage le délire du narrateur, qui malgré tout fait preuve d’un certain flegme malgré ses colères, car il ne dévie décidément jamais de son objectif, même dans les moments les plus désespérés.

Toujours retardé dans son élan, notre abominable personnage va parcourir Londres dans tous les sens dans une course effrénée. La scène de l’accouchement constitue la première calamité du roman après le trépas précoce de Mister Kitchen. Sanglante et franchement désopilante, elle pourrait provoquer un accouchement prématuré chez les jeunes mamans. Premier grand moment du livre donc, qui donne le ton et en dit encore plus long sur le caractère du personnage. C’est dit, c’est un sale type, un antipathique par vocation. La suite des événements ne va pas démentir cette première impression. Son endurance est surhumaine, et il ne la doit qu’à ses prises de drogues successives. Sa persévérance confine au ridicule, voire à l’inconscience. J’ai beaucoup ri pendant la lecture, du moins quand j’en avais le temps, car on se laisse happer par ses mésaventures rocambolesques. Les personnages qui parsèment l’histoire, et particulièrement les parents du héros, sont intéressants et donnent un éclairage sur son caractère, et si j’osais, je dirais qu’ils le rendent presque sympathique, par contraste. Le père est odieux, la mère est pathétique.

L’histoire est complètement déjantée, délirante, le personnage est hilarant malgré lui, l’action soutenue, le tout un grand moment de lecture dans un univers débridé et halluciné. J’ai aussi trouvé la chose très cinématographique, à la limite du tarantinesque !

[Charlie Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyable and amusing book. I enjoyed the way that the prose at times reflected the narrator's mental state. As his state deteriorates throughout the book so his tangents become weirder and more bizarre.

My only issue with the book is that I felt Higson seemed to hurry the last few chapters.

[John Newall · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an OK book. Not nearly as good as Full Whack. Good to see the deterioration throughout the book, it was just that certain event made no sense. I expected a lot more I guess. Worth a quick read. It's only 220 pages long. Can be done in one day!

[Theresa Womack · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well I didn't finish this book... I just couldn't get into it. There was no point that made me want to keep reading to find out what happened. I had no problem returning it to the school library and not renewing it.

[Gillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

A sick and cruel little book this is turning out to be, but it has its moments. Genuine laugh out loud ones.

[Su Dryden]

A visceral rollercoaster.

[Grada (BoekenTrol)]

Chosen from pam99's General Fiction VBB. I'm very curious to find out if I like it.

[David Baird · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wickedly funny read

[סהר פיאמנטה · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty fun book, the more it goes on the crazier the story gets and you find out just how insane the main character is.

[Neil · Rating 3 out of 5]

First Higson I've read, won't be the last.