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Loving an Alien

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'Loving an Alien' is a riveting collection of intimate interviews with brave women who crossed the cultural divide and loved to tell the tale. If you're into global travel, romance, life lessons, the do's and don'ts of an intimate relationship, how to manage your in-laws, how to finesse your outlaws, how to raise rootless, bi-lingual, 'third culture' kids, then snuggle up with 'Loving an Alien'.

In a remarkably candid series of Q&A's with twenty-seven women of different nationalities, Angela reveals what makes a mixed marriage tick ... and how to keep the love clock running. Angela Nicoara doesn't just spill the beans, she gets the recipe. It's not memoir. It's not fiction. It's love, visas and all. Long-distance. Long term. Vive la différence!

442 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 1, 2016

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205 people want to read

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Angela Nicoara

2 books8 followers

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
Profile Image for Monica.
26 reviews4 followers
June 18, 2016
I was so happy when Angela (whom I have known many years ago, when she was already married to an ”alien”) sent me the free review copy of her first book, Loving an Alien, as I myself married a foreigner.

But the first „alien marriage” I knew about is the one of my maternal grandparents: in the 40's, they were living at about 5 km distance, but in my grandmother village the only person speaking Romanian was the priest. The one who used to translate many love letters from my grandfather to young Irma. I was always analyzing the little misunderstandings between them too, grandma eventually learned Romanian, grandpa managed to understand Hungarian but never spoke it. Yet all these things made them and their relationship more interesting to me!

Angela gathered in her book a wonderful collection of personal stories that make a great portrait of the international marriage. Distance is now more relative, but I find language, religion or culture differences are the same, or even bigger, in the IIIrd millennium. I enjoyed seeing how do people overcome them and I simply adored the idea of the marriage binder recipes, as I fully agree that love passes through the stomach.

Vive la différence, mais, si possible, la très, très petite différence! :)
Profile Image for Anna.
134 reviews2 followers
April 4, 2017
This book was a revelation. I was more and more engrossed in reading it and captivated by the single stories.
Some were sweet and some were simply fascinating and each of them was unique in some way and I could relate with many of their struggles.
I would also have read more about the couples, even the husband POVs.
I think that men and women are often alien to each other to some extent, but especially so if they are of different nationalities and cultures.
It takes a lot of patience, tolerance and open-mindedness to overcome the cultural and educational barriers, but this book shows that it is possible, despite all the odds.
It also shows that the more you travel the more you become free from prejudices and boundaries, so it could be inspiring for everyone, not only for those who are still looking for Mr. Right.

****ARC provided in exchange for a honest review****
1 review1 follower
September 19, 2016
I was among the privileged few who got to read this book before it was published and made available to the public. But what is so much nicer though, is that I'm honored to have had "our" story -me and wifey- told with so many others who are just like us. To be honest, when Angela hit me up, informing us about her intention to write a book on biracial marriages, she told us she would be interviewing us. I didn't know what to expect. Had we known, perhaps we would have embellished our story. But I'm proud to say that our story was as raw and plainly written as you can get. And I believe so many others would say the same about theirs which to me is what makes this book a very good read and a must have.

Loving an Alien is one of those book you first binge read, and then take your time to digest the stories by going back to take it story by story. This was exactly what I did when I got the book. I haven't stopped reading it because whenever I want to appreciate and, or share the beauty in diversity, I always want to refer to stories that are just like mine.

Actually what this book has revealed is that when it comes to marriage, there is no boundary. Irrespective of where we are from, or who we are, we can always find love.

1 review
June 7, 2016
- I received this book for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This in no way affected my opinion of the book, or the content of my review. -

Loving someone who speaks a different language, who is from a different culture, who associates him/herself with a different religion, who belongs to a specific ethnic group, and who follows unique customs and traditions is not just challenging, but transcends the four dimensions we have been able to discover so far… or at least that’s what I like to believe!

These stories about how people felt in love and how their relationships developed are excruciatingly genuine and honest!

The world is as we see it, and the fears and hopes we see in others are the same we hold in ourselves. The more you read about these couples’ stories, the more you reflect on your own life. In reading this book you’re more likely to embark on a journey of your own heart.

These are stories told by real people about themselves… and about you! Some of these stories will make you laugh, while others will make you cry. But all in all, it's a fantastic read! I highly recommend it!
Profile Image for Irina.
2 reviews14 followers
June 27, 2016
I laughed, I cried, I smiled, I said to myself "I know, right?" Loved it. When a story makes me cry - not because I'm sad, but because it's beautiful and moving, I'm sold.
An in-depth, but by no means clinical journey into the "terra incognita" that foreigners (and, let's face it, us humans, in general) can sometimes be. A gentle reminder that we're not all replicators of the same creature, walking around trying to build relationships with...well, ourselves. We sometimes forget that and it makes it that much harder to connect to anyone. A very endearing illustration of the French phrase "Vive la difference". In reality, we're all alien to one another, regardless of race, gender, color and any kind of preference. But that's a good thing. Makes us feel alive, keeps us on our toes. So thank you, Angela!
P.S. no. 1: The recipe idea was amazing!
P.S. no. 2: I received a free review copy of the book, for which I am very grateful. So thanks again!

Profile Image for Manoj.
3 reviews7 followers
October 2, 2017
I come from a culture where even marrying outside your community is a taboo, what to say of marrying a foreigner, so yes, the book was very revealing for me. When they say 'marriages are made in Heaven', our folks restrict the choice to caste and religion, but here are 27 odd stories about brave women who not only defied the religion and community barrier, but married an absolute alien from a different continent. Every story, presented so beautifully as interviews, contain so much insight about a different culture, and how love transcends barriers of language, culture, religion and race.
Though all the stories are unique and engaging, the story about the author is the most interesting.
Very beautifully narrated, with questions and prompts by the interviewer make the narrations even more interesting. A must read for all those who believe in love, and those who don't .
Profile Image for Nicoleta Nicoara.
1 review
June 14, 2016
A marathon read of fascinating, real life stories. As its first
sentence implies, ‘Loving an Alien’ is for everybody, whether you’re
in a relationship or not, whether you’re looking for the love of your
life, or have lost hope.

You will find good advice in each of these stories, whether you’re
married to a foreigner or not, because the book compels you to reflect
on your own relationships - not only the one with your partner/husband, but
also those with your friends and family.

While reading ‘Loving an Alien’, I realised that no relationship is
perfect. Whether we see it as a success, or as a failure, is up to us,
depending on our expectations and sense of self-worth.
2 reviews3 followers
June 14, 2016
This isn’t just a book about love. It’s an intimate trip through the hearts and minds of women all over the world who discuss how they found their partners in life. The book’s Q&A format (unexpected at first) gives each woman an open space to narrate her story in her own words, style, and spirit. Not only do we learn personal histories, but deep insights into other countries and cultural histories. Loving an Alien shows how individuals can overcome fear and differences that divide nations and families. That’s the power of human emotion. Plus, a bonus: each chapter ends with a recipe!
Profile Image for Sariya Hasanova.
1 review22 followers
June 14, 2016
I love reading real stories and Loving an Alien was just for me. I am thankful to author for free copy of the book! The book is a great journey around the world, a journey with the passion, love, marriage, food, children, all about the real life and love with all its beauty, challenges, sad and happy moments! Thank you for the book, which shows that love and relationship is above the nationality, that we all are humans, maybe we speak in different languages but we can love and live together. I will definitely try one of the recipes, that was good addition to the stories!
Profile Image for Igor Guzun.
Author 16 books262 followers
June 17, 2016
LOVING AN ALIEN este o carte curajoasă și captivantă. Angela Nicoară ne oferă fascinația unei călătorii pe mai multe continente, fără să ieșim afară.

Și bucuria descoperirii unor universuri intime, create de oameni atât de diferiți, dar atât de complementari unii altora când este vorba despre dragoste.
1 review
June 15, 2016
Fascinating descriptions of marriage

I liked this book. People who are interested in marrying a foreigner,
as I am, will enjoy reading this book about cross cultural traditions
and the way they affect relationships.

The most important thing is the love you carry in your heart,
regardless of any circumstances, or situations depriving you from
getting the love you wish or hoping for.

Most times, families are barriers to fulfilling love with marriage.
Not everybody is lucky and has a family who accepts the choice one
makes regarding married life. Not every family will allow their
daughters to marry a foreigner who comes from far away. Lala, who met
Nick in a traditional way, is a very lucky lady, whose parents
respected her choice.

I appreciated 'Loving an Alien' for its fascinating descriptions of
marriage, marriage with a foreigner, marriage that changes your
perceptions and views on life and makes you accept different cultures,
not because love is blind but because you found your soulmate, which
is rare...

I wish this book was translated into several languages so that more
parents understand the choice of their children. I would highly
recommend this book to anyone who is waiting for their Prince on a
White Horse. I would also recommend it to older teenagers, mainly
because it will resonate better with them. I give this book as many
stars as I can!
1 review
June 13, 2016
Reading this book was like flying with the wind or floating in the river. I just wished to go ahead and ahead, read the next story, feel and visualize the couples and share their life for a moment.
It is indeed a very interesting reading. I could not imagine in advance what the couples would reveal as to cultural differences, language barriers and all sorts of issues that can be difficult even in a regular relationship. I was not sure though I work in an international environment for more than 20 years. I have always been surrounded with friends coming for the different corners of the world but somehow I have never asked those questions that you pose to your interviewees.
I was really pleased to see the confirmation of my own firmly held belief that we humans were all the same regardless of nationality, religion and social background.
I could easily find phrases in each of the interview that I really liked, I copy here two of them:
“marrying into a different culture means you are not trapped by your own culture
“We’re all human, we should be respectful of others, and tolerant with each other. This matters more than whether we eat the same food or speak the same language. The skin colour does not make us different. It’s easier to be with people that are different to you but have the same values than to be with people who appear similar to you but have different values.”
Profile Image for Cristina.
1 review4 followers
June 16, 2016
This is not just a book about love: it's about real people living and loving in different cultures, about being loved in another language and cultural context than your own, about loving the differences between people and their struggles to find common grounds. I enjoyed the intimate trip in the life of such strong and diverse women and rediscover once again that no relationship is perfect, it's all about human emotions. It's great that you can read the chapters in no particular order, so I've read randomly 2-3 chapters per day to make it last longer. I also loved the recipes shared and in the spirit of a Romanian traditional saying, that love passes through the stomach, I have already tried the spaghetti sauce :)
Profile Image for Dana Săporan.
1 review8 followers
June 18, 2016
"Loving an Alien" was a pleasant surprise: a savory mix of cultures, experiences, countries with a common denominator - love. Sure, we might experience it differently, as "our earlier lives and our earlier selves remain beyond the grasp of the other"; yet, love somehow always finds a way. Even if that means travelling to the other end of the world, facing situations not for the faint of heart (some vers de palmier, anyone?) and discovering that your self extends far beyond the limits you knew. Because what is "loving an alien" if not an invitation to explore another (sometimes, at least on the surface, utterly different) universe and expand your own?
Profile Image for Alina Goleanu.
1 review1 follower
June 17, 2016
A wonderful journey into different cultures, embraced by the people who have one thing in common, love. Driven by love, these couples don't see in tolerance and acceptance a compromise in order for their relationships to work, but a way to enrich their own culture and to constantly fall in love again with their partners.
A beautifully written book that reminded me to always "Vive la difference!"
Tank you, Angela, for this opportunity to enjoy great real stories.

** I received a free copy of the book in exchange for my review**
Profile Image for Lale Mahmudova.
1 review3 followers
July 20, 2016
First of all, what a great idea to write a book that allows us to get
to know people so intimately. The author Angela Nicoara has clearly
has spent a lot of time and effort working on this. To interview so
many women at such length and in such depth must have been a tiring
process. But, at the same time, the results are very interesting, so I
give her a standing ovation for her patience and enthusiasm.

I tried to approach ‘Loving an Alien’ from a feminist perspective and
was amazed by the details revealed in the interviews. Likewise, the
women’s willingness to share a favorite recipe reflects the
sisterhood between strangers ready to impart their skills and
knowledge - in this case, of national cuisine. It gives you a warm
feeling and validates female friendship, at its best!

‘Loving an Alien’ is also is a way to dive into cross-cultural
society. Each story starts with just two people, but soon widens in
scope to include, for example, their kids, and an extended family
learns to cope with differences in nationality, culture, and
geography.

Two people can have very different perspectives and expectations,
which can help, or hurt, the other either side. What makes sense to
one can seem like nonsense to the other.

So, I appreciate the author’s approach, because her interviews show
how two ‘aliens’ can share a home in any land, and this makes the book
a very enjoyable read.
1 review
June 22, 2016
The author of ‘Loving the Alien’ presents a sensitive and important
topic for us all: interpersonal relationships in mixed couples.

For me, as a psychologist, the book is a real find and exactly what I
need when looking for material to teach practical courses on
Ethnopsychology or Psychology of a couple. It is full of practical
tips on how to create and maintain a mixed family.

How does it feel to be married to a foreigner? The answers are
different and each interview explores a relationship with its own
nuances, but they’re all based on love, tolerance and patience.

I liked how the author does not simply present these mixed couples but
tries to discover the prevailing mood in each family. She seeks, with
her interviewee, to find out how the relationship resists prejudices,
differences and stereotypes in our society.

The book is easy to read and teaches you a lot, even though you may
think you know everything about interpersonal relationships. You’ll
discover many subtle differences about the specifics of different
cultures, of religions, and, finally, of food. I took the recipes as a
personal challenge and have already tried four of them...
1 review
Read
June 17, 2016
I first opened my copy of "Loving an Alien" to save for later and could not put down before reading three stories! As a peace and conflict worker I think that mixed couples are doing a fantastic work of peacebuilding across cultures, one family at a time. I love the idea behind this book and the creativity of including meal recipes! It was inspiring to see the diversity of the stories featured and the extent of the challenges encountered and surpassed, with the women themselves given a voice and a choice of what to share.
This is a captivating read for anybody interested in cross-cultural issues coming out in intimate relationships. Also, a great inspirational read for the growing number of intercultural families that are defying the norms of any singular culture and transgress barriers with love.
1 review1 follower
June 18, 2016
This book is a great read.

The interviews with women of all different nationalities relate the behavioural quirks, unfamiliar customs and alternative mindsets that have made their cross-cultural relationships enriching, challenging, exciting and unusual.

It was interesting to discover new aspects of so many cultures and I enjoyed the adventurous life stories of the interviewees.

The experiences of these women offer insight into what it takes for a relationship to survive and made me think further about the link between culture and personality, and human commonalities.

The interview style is original and easy to read and the combination of a recipe with each story is good fun, I will definitely try cooking a few!

Recommended for anyone interested in foreign cultures and customs, travel, adventure, cooking and of course, love.
1 review
June 17, 2016
I am myself leaving with an alien and I loved this book.It is touching me and not only because i have a similar life story but also because the book is sparkling , dinamic , senzitive and the autor know how to ask questions ,point the essential and touch hearts . Sharing and writing about real life/ love stories it is am intimate acte and the author won the bet here , as she has the gift to gain trust , ask the right questions and reveal with respect the beauty and the challenges of an alien love.I feel author's interest ,respect and passion for the human beings. And I was deeply captivated by those powerful love and life stories. Attention , this book is a magnet and in the end you will just regret that no photos are attached. Really recommend it!
1 review
June 29, 2016
This is a great book.
The interviews with women of all different nationalities relate the behavioural quirks, unfamiliar customs and alternative mindsets that have made their cross-cultural relationships enriching, challenging, exciting and unusual. It was interesting to discover new aspects of so many cultures. The experiences of these mature couples, offer insight into what it takes for a relationship to survive and all we have to admit that the globalization brings us all closer together, if we like it or not.
The interview style is original and easy to read and the combination of a recipe with each story is good fun. I enjoyed reading this book very much.
Profile Image for Natella Abdullayeva.
1 review1 follower
June 10, 2016
If you want to marry a foreigner and learn how it goes with other couples from all the world, read Angela Nicoara’s book “Loving an Alien”. The book will be your true guide in the married life and won’t allow you to make mistakes, ruin all relationship and value, respect and love the differences between people. If you want to be an international chef cook, it is also your bible. It comprises a valuable collection of recipes from all nations cuisine. Yummy to read the both parts of the book
1 review2 followers
June 21, 2016
Who needs novels and imaginary characters when life gives you beautiful and unique stories like the ones Angela Nicoara has masterfully collected in her book? These stories, presented as a collection of interviews, will take you all over the world and show you that love does not care about borders or cultural differences. A truly enjoyable book, highly recommended!
P.S. I received a free review copy of the book, for which I am very grateful. Thank you, Angela!
1 review
June 18, 2016
It's the most
interesting combination I have ever seen/read, i.e. interviews and
recipes together. 'Vive la différence!'
1 review
June 25, 2016
This is such an exciting and easy read. I am lucky to be one of the early readers and happy to offer a review.

It is a collection of interviews with women married with men of different nationalities, highlighting the beauty and challenges of cross-cultural relationships. Meeting myself many similar couples in my life, while reading Angela's book I've had the constant feeling of having a coffee and chat about life and love with these amazing women. I learned about linkages between cultures and human characters and it confirmed that love is a common language.

The interview style makes it an easy read and the idea of associating each story with a dish recipe is original and practical. I will for sure try cooking a few.

Enjoy the adventurous life stories of 27 super girls!



Recommended for anyone interested in foreign cultures and customs, travel, adventure, cooking and of course, love.
Profile Image for Miruna Smith.
1 review
June 10, 2016
I have been celebrating the famous "Viva la difference" in a relationship for the past 11 years and every day of this journey has been amazing. I can recognize myself and the relationship with my "alien" in so many of Angela's stories. Her book encompasses very skillfully a myriad of feelings and situations that are so common when sharing your life with an "alien". Her pen writes them on paper in a very realistic way, making them come alive. Reading this book is like reading my life story.
2 reviews
July 18, 2016
Nothing can be equal to the joy of finding your soulmate even between ''aliens''.
Angela's book it is a gift for those women who found their the other half and being conscious of their lucky.
Being in Heaven or down on earth, their stories are unique, full of flavor and sensibility.
It is a wonderful present for each of my friends.
Thank you Angela for this gem of book.
Profile Image for Elisabeta.
1 review
June 28, 2016
When I first learned about Angela’s book I thought she somehow narrates her life together with Mike… What be more tempting for a woman than, skipping all gossips, to find out about another woman’s life directly from the source? And Angela Nicoara is not an ordinary woman, she is adventure in flesh and bones in everything she does, thus I was sure I will find a lot of excitement coming from her real life, from her travels across the world, from her moments of loneliness or glory, as any adventurous person must have pretty often in a life time. So I told her I want to read this book. And she was so gentle and sent it to me shortly after we talked. But surprise! I found much more then expected. Several lives, not only one. All Angela’s lives, and, in the same time, each of them the life of every woman present in the book. This is actually Angela’s book: stories of many women and stories of several ways to overcome prejudices of loving an alien. Especially when the alien is coming from the same world with you, but with different culture, habits and mentality. When it comes about love, because love is the essence of Angela’s book, the story can only be genuine. Angela demonstrates through this book that she loves stories, true stories, and she loves writing about love from the true stories.
Profile Image for Laura Baciu.
5 reviews
June 14, 2016
I hardly considered it a book about love. It's so much more than that. It's like travelling allover the world, getting a glimpse of so many cultures and traditions. Ok, so there are also the love stories, but for me, reading about the differences between people and what each person considered as "normal" was the most interesting part. And it activated my "travel mood", for sure!
It's funny that we only get the feminine side of the stories. In many cases, I wished I had read also what the husband might say about the story (mihihi) Maybe in a second volume?
Oh, and the recipes, wow..can't wait to try the Milk toffee and the Yogurt pie!

** I received a free copy of the book in exchange for an honest review**
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews

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