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The Fall of Innocence
For the past eight years, sixteen-year-old Emilia DeJesus has done her best to move on from the traumatic attack she suffered in the woods behind her elementary school. She's forced down the memories--the feeling of the twigs cracking beneath her, choking on her own blood, unable to scream. Most of all, she's tried to forget about Jeremy Lance, the boy responsible, the boy who caused her such pain. Emilia believes that the crows who watched over her that day, who helped her survive, are still on her side, encouraging her to live fully. And with the love and support of her mother, brother, and her caring boyfriend, Emilia is doing just that.
But when a startling discovery about her attacker's identity comes to light, and the memories of that day break through the mental box in which she'd shut them away, Emilia is forced to confront her new reality and make sense of shifting truths about her past, her family, and herself.
But when a startling discovery about her attacker's identity comes to light, and the memories of that day break through the mental box in which she'd shut them away, Emilia is forced to confront her new reality and make sense of shifting truths about her past, her family, and herself.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published June 12, 2018
37 people are currently reading
1935 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 107 reviews
May 5, 2021
Gorgeous. Atmospheric. Painful. Tragic. Heartbreaking.
At age eight, a viscous attack by a neighborhood bully leaves Emilia traumatized and unable to speak. Eight years later, she still suffers the from effects of PTSD. Her father left, her mother hovers, her brother feels helpless and her boyfriend just wants to love her. Everyone worries, yet no one realizes the extent of her pain and delusions. Emilia’s psychosis preceded her attack, but aren’t really addressed directly in the story. She identifies with birds, sometimes thinking she’s avian, not human.
THE FALL OF INNOCENCE is such a dark, heavy story, yet one I couldn’t put down. Jenny Torres Sanchez use of multiple third person points of view worked well to show the depth of each person’s pain and how Emilia’s attack touched and continued to haunt those who loved her.
Reminiscent of this year’s gem I STOP SOMEWHERE by TE Carter and last year’s GIRL IN PIECES by Kathleen Glasgow.
I don’t think THE FALL OF INNOCENCE will be everyone’s type of story, but if you enjoy stories that will leave you feeling, truly filled with emotions, you’ll enjoy this beautifully written story.
ETA: the audiobook narration didn’t wow me like I had hoped.
At age eight, a viscous attack by a neighborhood bully leaves Emilia traumatized and unable to speak. Eight years later, she still suffers the from effects of PTSD. Her father left, her mother hovers, her brother feels helpless and her boyfriend just wants to love her. Everyone worries, yet no one realizes the extent of her pain and delusions. Emilia’s psychosis preceded her attack, but aren’t really addressed directly in the story. She identifies with birds, sometimes thinking she’s avian, not human.
THE FALL OF INNOCENCE is such a dark, heavy story, yet one I couldn’t put down. Jenny Torres Sanchez use of multiple third person points of view worked well to show the depth of each person’s pain and how Emilia’s attack touched and continued to haunt those who loved her.
Reminiscent of this year’s gem I STOP SOMEWHERE by TE Carter and last year’s GIRL IN PIECES by Kathleen Glasgow.
I don’t think THE FALL OF INNOCENCE will be everyone’s type of story, but if you enjoy stories that will leave you feeling, truly filled with emotions, you’ll enjoy this beautifully written story.
ETA: the audiobook narration didn’t wow me like I had hoped.
October 11, 2018
Emilia DeJesus is trying so hard to live a normal life again. She’s in high school now, and has a steady boyfriend. But things are just not the same since she was assaulted on the playground of her elementary school when she was eight years old. The events of that day have had a lasting effect on Emilia and her family as well. Flashbacks and a deep sadness often overcome her. Her mother and brother continually worry about her state of mind, and panic if Emilia is late coming home. Her father, devastated by Emilia’s attack, has left the family and moved away in an attempt to try to deal with the helpless feelings he experiences as a result of his daughter’s assault.
This story is hard to put down. With well drawn characters and a compelling plot, I found myself reading late into the night to see how the novel would end.
Author Jenny Torres Sanchez successfully gives readers a feeling of how the victims of sexual assault try to cope with their injuries both physical and mental as well as the devastating effect of such crimes on families of victims. It’s not an upbeat story, but it is well worth reading.
Thank you to Net Galley, Philomel Books, and author Jenny Torres Sanchez for giving me the opportunity to read the ARC of this novel.
This story is hard to put down. With well drawn characters and a compelling plot, I found myself reading late into the night to see how the novel would end.
Author Jenny Torres Sanchez successfully gives readers a feeling of how the victims of sexual assault try to cope with their injuries both physical and mental as well as the devastating effect of such crimes on families of victims. It’s not an upbeat story, but it is well worth reading.
Thank you to Net Galley, Philomel Books, and author Jenny Torres Sanchez for giving me the opportunity to read the ARC of this novel.
September 30, 2022
It’s tough to read this story of the aftermath of abuse. The sentences takes elliptical turns as the many characters in this try to deal with Emilia DeJesus’s crippled spirit in the wake of a brutal attack that left her body broken and unable to speak.
The passages loop between past and present, reality and imagination, until it can be hard for a reader to know which is which. It is exasperating to read the various characters ask each other “Are you okay?” ad nauseam when we know for a fact that they aren’t. Love, pain, grief, envy, jealousy, misery and strange elation rise from the pages as the reader experiences each inner life the various characters feel and hide from each other.
Caught in the turbulent swell of her own memories, her PTSD and her growing adolescent rebellion is Emilia herself. Her mind is constantly swerving between what she knows is true with her weird fantasies in which she imagines that she’s a bird, that she’s freezing cold even in the height of summer and that she’s being watched by her assailant though she knows he’s been incarcerated.
If I have one complaint, it’s about Tómas. He’s given a secret passion for crossdressing that is touched upon in a few pages of exquisite prose but it’s barely hinted at elsewhere. It’s almost as if he’s been given this quirk to show that he, too, has inner turmoil.
The whole family has issues with a capital I. The mother is a thief; Emilia hears the birds talking to her like poor Virginia Woolf did (a grim bit of foreshadowing) and the father is an absentee dad who chose to stay away rather than deal with his daughter’s pain. So Emilia’s poor brother is saddled with being the normal one…except that he isn’t. And no one knows or confronts him about his secret yearnings except in one cryptic phrase from Emilia.
Silence echoes and rebounds in this tragic tale. It almost hurts to see how these people choke back the questions they want to ask, the things they want to tell, the secrets they hide from one another. You read…and stop. Read and stop. You can’t bear to find out what happens to Emilia and yet you can’t turn away. The book’s looping prose and inexorable force push you to find out her fate as you read to the bittersweet ending.
The passages loop between past and present, reality and imagination, until it can be hard for a reader to know which is which. It is exasperating to read the various characters ask each other “Are you okay?” ad nauseam when we know for a fact that they aren’t. Love, pain, grief, envy, jealousy, misery and strange elation rise from the pages as the reader experiences each inner life the various characters feel and hide from each other.
Caught in the turbulent swell of her own memories, her PTSD and her growing adolescent rebellion is Emilia herself. Her mind is constantly swerving between what she knows is true with her weird fantasies in which she imagines that she’s a bird, that she’s freezing cold even in the height of summer and that she’s being watched by her assailant though she knows he’s been incarcerated.
If I have one complaint, it’s about Tómas. He’s given a secret passion for crossdressing that is touched upon in a few pages of exquisite prose but it’s barely hinted at elsewhere. It’s almost as if he’s been given this quirk to show that he, too, has inner turmoil.
The whole family has issues with a capital I. The mother is a thief; Emilia hears the birds talking to her like poor Virginia Woolf did (a grim bit of foreshadowing) and the father is an absentee dad who chose to stay away rather than deal with his daughter’s pain. So Emilia’s poor brother is saddled with being the normal one…except that he isn’t. And no one knows or confronts him about his secret yearnings except in one cryptic phrase from Emilia.
Silence echoes and rebounds in this tragic tale. It almost hurts to see how these people choke back the questions they want to ask, the things they want to tell, the secrets they hide from one another. You read…and stop. Read and stop. You can’t bear to find out what happens to Emilia and yet you can’t turn away. The book’s looping prose and inexorable force push you to find out her fate as you read to the bittersweet ending.
February 8, 2018
One of the most beautiful, haunting books I've ever read.
November 18, 2018
Before I even get into my review of this book, I want to put a disclaimer and trigger warning out there for this book.
The contents of this novel are very emotional, graphic, and dark. Some of the trigger warnings that I think are applicable would be those involving: abuse (physical and sexual), PTSD, depression, and suicide. If you are worried about the topics involved in this novel, be cautious and read other reviews before picking this up.
With that disclaimer aside..
From the very beginning, this novel was an emotional one. I know I should have expected it due to the summary but I didn't expect the intensity of it until I was in the midst of reading.
To review this novel is hard because there was so much going on and so many people dealing with the aftermath of Emilia's attack. That element alone is incredibly powerful as it is realistic. The attack of one person has a ripple effect to those that are in that person's life and not solely the victim of the attack. From Emilia's immediate family to her boyfriend, each are dealing with their own struggles throughout this novel.
This is a powerful novel and if this novel was rated due to importance, it would be receiving a five star rating. I think a lot of people unfortunately go through somewhat similar situations/events. If not, some of the intense emotions could certainly be relatable to many. However, as important as this novel was, I think there was just too much involved that not enough of the issues could be addressed or focused on fully.
Like I said, the attack had a ripple effect on the characters and I appreciated that addition to the story because it is realistic. Yet, at the same time, each of these characters also had other issues going on within their own lives that unfortunately weren't addressed to the degree that it should have been due to the main plot and focus of the novel. I won't go into details in respect to spoilers but some examples would be the relationship between Emilia's parents, Nina's "shopping" problem, and Tomás' struggles. I think all of those things added to the story as a whole but as there was so much going on, not every topic could be addressed or uncovered.
As for Emilia, my goodness. My heart. My heart truly hurt for her through this whole thing. I had no idea how this novel would end because I could not imagine a way that it could end happily. No matter what, she would still be dealing with the aftermath of that attack whether it be through flashbacks or not. I don't know if what happened at the end was intentional or not (I would like to hear some of your opinions) but....my heart truly hurt for her and those that go through similar events.
This was an intense and emotional read. Would I recommend it? It would depend on the individual and how they were feeling at the time. Nevertheless, a very powerful story indeed.
***Thank you to Penguin Random House Canada for sending me an ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review***
The contents of this novel are very emotional, graphic, and dark. Some of the trigger warnings that I think are applicable would be those involving: abuse (physical and sexual), PTSD, depression, and suicide. If you are worried about the topics involved in this novel, be cautious and read other reviews before picking this up.
With that disclaimer aside..
From the very beginning, this novel was an emotional one. I know I should have expected it due to the summary but I didn't expect the intensity of it until I was in the midst of reading.
To review this novel is hard because there was so much going on and so many people dealing with the aftermath of Emilia's attack. That element alone is incredibly powerful as it is realistic. The attack of one person has a ripple effect to those that are in that person's life and not solely the victim of the attack. From Emilia's immediate family to her boyfriend, each are dealing with their own struggles throughout this novel.
This is a powerful novel and if this novel was rated due to importance, it would be receiving a five star rating. I think a lot of people unfortunately go through somewhat similar situations/events. If not, some of the intense emotions could certainly be relatable to many. However, as important as this novel was, I think there was just too much involved that not enough of the issues could be addressed or focused on fully.
Like I said, the attack had a ripple effect on the characters and I appreciated that addition to the story because it is realistic. Yet, at the same time, each of these characters also had other issues going on within their own lives that unfortunately weren't addressed to the degree that it should have been due to the main plot and focus of the novel. I won't go into details in respect to spoilers but some examples would be the relationship between Emilia's parents, Nina's "shopping" problem, and Tomás' struggles. I think all of those things added to the story as a whole but as there was so much going on, not every topic could be addressed or uncovered.
As for Emilia, my goodness. My heart. My heart truly hurt for her through this whole thing. I had no idea how this novel would end because I could not imagine a way that it could end happily. No matter what, she would still be dealing with the aftermath of that attack whether it be through flashbacks or not. I don't know if what happened at the end was intentional or not (I would like to hear some of your opinions) but....my heart truly hurt for her and those that go through similar events.
This was an intense and emotional read. Would I recommend it? It would depend on the individual and how they were feeling at the time. Nevertheless, a very powerful story indeed.
***Thank you to Penguin Random House Canada for sending me an ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review***
April 3, 2018
Sanchez, Jenny Torres Fall of Innocence, 448 pages. Philomel (Penguin), JUNE 2018. $19. Language: R (65 swears, 25 ‘f’); Mature Content: PG (rape mentioned); Violence: PG-13 (suicide)
When Emilia was a little girl she was attacked by Jeremy, an older mentally challenged boy at her school. All these years she has struggled to keep it together, even after her father left. With the help of her friend, now boyfriend, Ian, and her mother and brother, she has built a safe space. Then comes the day that the police detective comes around again – someone else has confessed to the attack and knows details only the attacker could now. Jeremy will be let out of the facility he has been living in and the real attacker is dying – he only has a short time to live. Emilia’s life is shattered. She’s trying to deal with these new revelations, putting on a brave face, but she is failing inside where it counts. The birds that guarded her thoughts the first time around are back – this time their presence may not be able to stop the sinking.
My heart aches for Emilia because she never got the help that she really needed. The book is both spooky and heartbreaking. Older students who appreciate a bit of darkness and depth will appreciate the journey, even though the end will make them cry.
HS – OPTIONAL. Cindy, Library Teacher
https://kissthebook.blogspot.com/2018...
When Emilia was a little girl she was attacked by Jeremy, an older mentally challenged boy at her school. All these years she has struggled to keep it together, even after her father left. With the help of her friend, now boyfriend, Ian, and her mother and brother, she has built a safe space. Then comes the day that the police detective comes around again – someone else has confessed to the attack and knows details only the attacker could now. Jeremy will be let out of the facility he has been living in and the real attacker is dying – he only has a short time to live. Emilia’s life is shattered. She’s trying to deal with these new revelations, putting on a brave face, but she is failing inside where it counts. The birds that guarded her thoughts the first time around are back – this time their presence may not be able to stop the sinking.
My heart aches for Emilia because she never got the help that she really needed. The book is both spooky and heartbreaking. Older students who appreciate a bit of darkness and depth will appreciate the journey, even though the end will make them cry.
HS – OPTIONAL. Cindy, Library Teacher
https://kissthebook.blogspot.com/2018...
September 1, 2023
I keep updating this review even though I wrote it 5 years ago when I was 15. But my thoughts on the ending have been constantly drifting even more toward “that was a completely irresponsible way to portray mental illness especially after how everything hinted about Emilia getting better, and I don’t care what the author’s note says, using a most-likely-suicide as a shocking twist ruins the message and cheapens the book and leaves readers pissed off, not sympathetic.”
I hate giving books low ratings. But that ending deserves it.
Obviously, I don't like books that are too long. But this wasn't excessively long at all. That's not the problem I had with it. It's that we're introduced to this character for four hundred pages, we feel for her and love her, and then it just throws all that away for shock value.
I'm not an expert on anything in this book. But there are certain things that could have been elaborated on more.
-Tomas's storyline with him liking to wear feminine clothing and him treating it as a "dark" secret. Never states if he's trans, queer, gender non-conforming or anything. It came across as kind of queerbaiting to me (even though I know his storyline wasn’t the central focus).
-Emilia's mental illness. It's obvious she has PTSD and maybe schizophrenia, but her hallucinations are kind of just there, not really explained.
And in the author's note, Sanchez said she wanted this to be a story told honestly. I know that this does happen to many people, but books such as I Was Here do a better job of describing the effects and aftermath of suicide, when you can hear more of the perspective for longer, not just two chapters, and this way it doesn't build up through the outlook that it could get better-I thought that's what Emilia decorating her old classroom symbolized, growth and going back to a place of trauma-for 400 pages and just be used as a plot device at the end or a "twist".
Personally, I think if Emilia had attempted and failed sometime during the book and ended up back where she was 8 years before in the state of trying to become a normal girl again would have been just as effective.
I also saw the ending coming right around the scene where Emilia was going to take the train to find her assailant's house. Like, 50 pages from it.
What I liked:
Some of the side characters. Despite how her chapters were probably the saddest, I liked Nina's POV. I probably cried hardest for her at the end. Maybe if the book was about her and Tomas in the aftermath of the ending, it’d be really good. I liked Jane too, and thought she was going to end up as a "big-sister" figure, but I didn't see that much of her.
The awareness about missing-person cases involving BIPOC women and girls. Emilia is Mexican, and she often says that it was a good thing that she was found alive after the attack and received attention from the public, using the story of another Latina girl, Lucy Soto, who was kidnapped and murdered, to further the point that girls like her are often ignored by the media.
The timeline. I like books set in the 1990s and early 2000s for some reason. And I think this was done so because of the Challenger explosion-which Emilia had seen on TV after the attack.
I know my review might not be the best perspective. I’m not an authority on mental illness or trauma, but there were SO many ways it could’ve been portrayed that didn’t mislead the readers.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 9, 2020
I originally picked this book because I liked the creepy abandoned playground cover, unfortunately, that was the only thing I liked about this book. First off, I'm terrified of birds, especially crows, so that should have been a sign that I should have stopped reading. However, it wasn't just my fear of crows that made this a bad read. The writing is very confusing and somehow Emilia can fly? But only sometimes? Or maybe only in her head? It wasn't very clear. Also she's obsessed with her abandoned elementary school, maybe because that's where she was attacked as a child, or maybe because Emilia is totally insane. She has the weirdest personality where she's always comparing herself to Jane (a stripper who she thinks is perfect for some reason?) and then spends half the book wanting her father to come back but then is really closed off when he does and also she kind of is really mean to her boyfriend and never communicates her feelings but then will be perfectly perky the next scene. Also Emilia can only caw like a bird for a lot of her childhood and wants to be a bird? Not sure if that was supposed to be a reference to wanting freedom from her past? All in all I felt this book accomplished nothing profound and was a huge waste of time.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 11, 2018
This is a novel about a girl who is struggling to cope with a trauma that happened to her eight years earlier. She was attacked by a developmentally delayed boy who lived at the group home next to her elementary school. For a year after the attack, she wouldn’t speak. She would only caw, believing she was a bird.
Now, at sixteen, things are mostly better. She can mostly function and go on dates with her perfect boyfriend and talk and pretend everything is okay. But inside her there is still a sadness, a fear. And an unexpected revelation about her attack brings those hidden feelings to the forefront.
The writing is beautiful. Most chapters are written in the third person about Emilia, but several focus on her mother, her brother, her boyfriend, and even the detective from the original case. I was particularly compelled by her brother.
Recommended for high school and above, due to sex and language.
Now, at sixteen, things are mostly better. She can mostly function and go on dates with her perfect boyfriend and talk and pretend everything is okay. But inside her there is still a sadness, a fear. And an unexpected revelation about her attack brings those hidden feelings to the forefront.
The writing is beautiful. Most chapters are written in the third person about Emilia, but several focus on her mother, her brother, her boyfriend, and even the detective from the original case. I was particularly compelled by her brother.
Recommended for high school and above, due to sex and language.
June 11, 2018
While I appreciate some darkness, this story was just too much to take. I don't think it works as a YA novel. Also, the current trend of inclusiveness in literature is appreciated, but the misplaced emphasis takes away from the most prominent issues. As the novel pulls the reader further into the spiral of awful that makes up one family's horrifying life, I found myself clamoring to get out of reading. I got depressed. I didn't want to be depressed. I turned off my Kindle, stared at the ceiling, and pictured days at the beach and eating ice cream sundaes. Anything to stop thinking about cold and birds and death. However, I acknowledge that this type of story might appeal to readers who like crime drama. Just don't expect a happy ending.
August 14, 2018
This was the weirdest book, and I have absolutely no idea what to think about it.
Parts of it were lovely, parts of it were completely bizarre, and several parts were either pointless or went nowhere (Jane, Tomas, etc). This is set in the 90's but I completely forgot that until it was listed at the beginning of each new part of the book. Besides going to a Blockbuster one night, there was nothing in here that indicated it wasn't present day, so I'm just not sure what the point of it being 1994 was? Everything to do with the birds was weird and creepy, and I still have absolutely no idea what actually happened at the end.
I did like certain parts of this, but overall it was just too strange for me.
Parts of it were lovely, parts of it were completely bizarre, and several parts were either pointless or went nowhere (Jane, Tomas, etc). This is set in the 90's but I completely forgot that until it was listed at the beginning of each new part of the book. Besides going to a Blockbuster one night, there was nothing in here that indicated it wasn't present day, so I'm just not sure what the point of it being 1994 was? Everything to do with the birds was weird and creepy, and I still have absolutely no idea what actually happened at the end.
I did like certain parts of this, but overall it was just too strange for me.
July 4, 2018
Say it with me: please stop with the multiple POVs.
Beyond that, this was fairly predictable but teen readers will enjoy this book about a girl, horribly damaged by an attack when she was younger, and her attempts to be "normal" by having a boyfriend and going through regular high school. How that long-ago event still affects her mental state, and how she tries to deal with it, will sadden readers. As an adult, I wondered what happened to getting her into therapy, but that isn't ever discussed - and could be used as a starting point for a conversation about the need for mental health awareness.
ARC provided by publisher.
Beyond that, this was fairly predictable but teen readers will enjoy this book about a girl, horribly damaged by an attack when she was younger, and her attempts to be "normal" by having a boyfriend and going through regular high school. How that long-ago event still affects her mental state, and how she tries to deal with it, will sadden readers. As an adult, I wondered what happened to getting her into therapy, but that isn't ever discussed - and could be used as a starting point for a conversation about the need for mental health awareness.
ARC provided by publisher.
July 10, 2018
I'm honestly not sure I can move on to my next book right after finishing this. I feel like at the end, I finally understood the pain Emilia felt, and how trauma shaped her life and the way she thought. Phenomenal.
September 2, 2019
I actually read this a few months ago but hadn't reviewed it - I saw some crows today and they reminded me of Emilia and my eyes welled up within a millisecond. Such a beautiful, gutting book.
June 6, 2018
This is a story of a sad story about a girl who when through a horrific event and never healed from it.
Full review will be posted as part of the Blog Tour.
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Full review can be found here: https://agingerlyreview.wordpress.com...
The premise of the story alone is what caught my attention. The story is about the aftermath of a violent sexual attack that happened to Emilia when she was young. She thought she recovered and was “normal”, but that just is not the case. She was far more fragile and broken than she realized.
This was a tough story to get through but I felt it was a necessary story. I fear more and more girls go through some traumatic event and claim to be better or “normal”, but something triggers a flashback and they revert back to the exact moment of the attack. Everything could come back so vividly, as if reliving. I do speak from experience as I have severe PTSD (not military) and have flashbacks even though my event took place 15 years ago. That was yet another driving factor for me to want to get my hands on this book. I really hope it lets girls – and boys! – know they are not alone.
This story switched back and forth from past to present. At first it seemed a little confusing but it just show the strength of Sanchez’s writing ability. I felt she captured the fractured mind and fragile spirit of the victim perfectly. Following Emilia’s character as she fought her demons and struggled to retain some sort of normalcy was heartbreaking. The poor girl flipped back and forth between rebelling, as most teenagers do, and believing her bizarre fantasies she was actually a bird. I felt this gave a deeper level of concern for the true well-being to the character. I just wanted to hold Emilia and tell her everything would be okay. I hurt for her, the way she chose to withdraw from her boyfriend and family, keeping secrets from them in order to prove that everything “really was fine”. I keep using quotes because it is obvious throughout the book that the poor girl was anything but “normal” or “fine”.
There is one small complaint that I have have – it is Thomas’ character. Thomas is Emilia’s older brother. He was such a darling character, however, it is mentioned a couple of times that he is a cross-dresser. Thomas loved to take Emilia’s dresses and wear them, along with makeup. While characters like this are rarely mentioned in stories, I wish the story line was either expanded upon or not included at all. After reading about his inner turmoil, I wanted to know more about him but it never happened. That’s why I said that either talk about it more or don’t write that sub-story line in. Overall, it did not add to the actual story and that made me sad.
Not all characters in this story were perfect. Emilia and Tomas’ family had a subscription to their issues. Those people needed professional help. I felt their mother was in denial and the absent father needed a slap in the face. The mother knew something was wrong with her daughter but instead of doing something, she let it all play out. Let’s not forget she had a stealing habit of her own that she chose to ignore. That mixed with the father traveling out of town for a job interview and never coming back because he didn’t want to deal with his daughter’s attack was a recipe for a terrible home life.
Overall, this was a powerful story and a hard one to get through without shedding a tear. My heart shattered for the entire family. They were all afraid to do what needed to be done, fearful to speak up. While I keep saying this book was tough, I found I couldn’t stop reading. I would read a little bit, put the book down and walk away, only to come back to it a short time later. I hope everyone adds this to their TBR and gives Emilia’s story a chance.
Full review will be posted as part of the Blog Tour.
---
Full review can be found here: https://agingerlyreview.wordpress.com...
The premise of the story alone is what caught my attention. The story is about the aftermath of a violent sexual attack that happened to Emilia when she was young. She thought she recovered and was “normal”, but that just is not the case. She was far more fragile and broken than she realized.
This was a tough story to get through but I felt it was a necessary story. I fear more and more girls go through some traumatic event and claim to be better or “normal”, but something triggers a flashback and they revert back to the exact moment of the attack. Everything could come back so vividly, as if reliving. I do speak from experience as I have severe PTSD (not military) and have flashbacks even though my event took place 15 years ago. That was yet another driving factor for me to want to get my hands on this book. I really hope it lets girls – and boys! – know they are not alone.
This story switched back and forth from past to present. At first it seemed a little confusing but it just show the strength of Sanchez’s writing ability. I felt she captured the fractured mind and fragile spirit of the victim perfectly. Following Emilia’s character as she fought her demons and struggled to retain some sort of normalcy was heartbreaking. The poor girl flipped back and forth between rebelling, as most teenagers do, and believing her bizarre fantasies she was actually a bird. I felt this gave a deeper level of concern for the true well-being to the character. I just wanted to hold Emilia and tell her everything would be okay. I hurt for her, the way she chose to withdraw from her boyfriend and family, keeping secrets from them in order to prove that everything “really was fine”. I keep using quotes because it is obvious throughout the book that the poor girl was anything but “normal” or “fine”.
There is one small complaint that I have have – it is Thomas’ character. Thomas is Emilia’s older brother. He was such a darling character, however, it is mentioned a couple of times that he is a cross-dresser. Thomas loved to take Emilia’s dresses and wear them, along with makeup. While characters like this are rarely mentioned in stories, I wish the story line was either expanded upon or not included at all. After reading about his inner turmoil, I wanted to know more about him but it never happened. That’s why I said that either talk about it more or don’t write that sub-story line in. Overall, it did not add to the actual story and that made me sad.
Not all characters in this story were perfect. Emilia and Tomas’ family had a subscription to their issues. Those people needed professional help. I felt their mother was in denial and the absent father needed a slap in the face. The mother knew something was wrong with her daughter but instead of doing something, she let it all play out. Let’s not forget she had a stealing habit of her own that she chose to ignore. That mixed with the father traveling out of town for a job interview and never coming back because he didn’t want to deal with his daughter’s attack was a recipe for a terrible home life.
Overall, this was a powerful story and a hard one to get through without shedding a tear. My heart shattered for the entire family. They were all afraid to do what needed to be done, fearful to speak up. While I keep saying this book was tough, I found I couldn’t stop reading. I would read a little bit, put the book down and walk away, only to come back to it a short time later. I hope everyone adds this to their TBR and gives Emilia’s story a chance.
August 20, 2018
First Thoughts:
Caution! Trigger for victims of PTSD, Sexual Assault and Mental Illness!!!
There are no words to express how deep this book cut down to my soul. There isn't a pretty way to put how torn up I got after the last word was read. If you're looking for a happy and simple read, this book isn't for you. There's so much texture and real life scenarios that it made it all the more real. This book really messed with me emotionally and I think those are sometimes the best kind of books....
Summary:
Emilia DeJesus was a victim of sexual assault when she was a young kid. But now in her later teens things begin to change. She remembers parts of it and thought she knew for sure who the assailant was but soon that all comes to surface when new evidence is brought forward. Soon Emilia's life is turned upside down and her life becomes this big pool of water where she can hardly get her head above surface. She soon starts to find a place of her own that she can control, while her life is torn to pieces. Even her current boyfriend, brother and mother try to get her through her life but will it be in time to save Emilia before it's too late?
Plot:
Emilia is the main focus of this story and her struggles to come to terms with her assault. And on top of that though it's not discussed in detail her mental illness in the form of hallucinations and depression. What I couldn't understand was why her mother couldn't get her the proper care she needed. Coming from someone whose been in a psych ward her illness should've ended with her there as well. If I was her mother I would definitely push the subject for the safety of my child! I mean that is one major plot hole. But other than that it was very realistic and devastating to read. In a way the end result was the climax and that it ended in such a way it was hard to grasp what really happened! Definitely spooky in the sense of her mind but enlightening in a sense I learned how her mind worked. I've been interested in psychology for a while now and it was fun to learn the inner-workings of Emilia's mind. Lot's of turns and pivots but enough slow moments to allow you to gather yourself and move forward.
Romance:
There was romance in this story but it wasn't really the main focus. Yes Emilia's boyfriend did everything he could to help her but I think Emilia herself wasn't focused on their relationship. It was heartbreaking to read such dedication of her boyfriend and how far gone Emilia was at points. But other than that I wouldn't say this was a romance novel.
Characters:
Emilia was a character I could understand but not all the way relate to. I'm not as far gone in mental illness than she was in the book. But Emilia was complex and full of texture, meaning she had so many angles and details to her that I'm still not sure I fully grasped them all. But I liked her in a way that she was trying to fight all her demons. The friend she met in the story was an interesting choice. The friend was a friend and not a friend at the same time. They were both wrapped up in themselves to understand each other. I'm still trying to determine whether the friend added to the story or just was there. Emilia's support system like her brother, mother, and boyfriend were very nice to meet and read alongside them. They definitely made the story the way it was meant to be. They made the reader to understand that Emilia had people that cared about her and wanted to see her pull through and create a better life for herself!
Transformation of Character:
This is a tricky part of this book. In a way I think I saw some transformation in Emilia and downfalls in other parts. So yes and no she transformed. As for other characters? I think in a way the mother and boyfriend transformed. They learned a lot from Emilia and therefore, became someone new.
Description:
This was the best part of the book! The eerie way the author described each scene was remarkable. The description was like poetry, so poetic and beautiful. And the foreshadowing was well placed and executed! The crows were a huge symbol in this book and it lead to eventually the climax. It was remarkable to see such vivid and realistic detail that it seemed like I was there. The description of Emilia's mind, like I mentioned earlier was really interesting and well described. The psychology alone in this book was well executed. Also, the triggers in this book were well placed but hard to read. The author had to have had either done a lot of research or experienced it herself for her to get it the way she did. It seemed so real.
Style:
This was written in third person and multiple point of views (POV's). I liked we were really able to experience everything alongside Emilia herself; to experience each and every critical moment. And to also be in the major characters point of views to see how they responded in critical moments too. As for the the third person, it really gave the reader a way to relate or understand Emilia and the other character but also take a step back at the same time.The author's writing was captivating and enjoyable to read. Though the reading was difficult at times to read, it really was hard to put down!
Quote of the Book:
"She looked at herself in the mirror again, at the judgmental image staring back at her."
Last Thoughts:
Though this book isn't for everyone, I very much enjoyed it. It has been one of my favorite psychological reads of the year. I can't wait to experience what other books Ms. Sanchez has in store for us! So, if you think you're strong enough to read this book, I would totally recommend you go download or pick up a copy today!
Caution! Trigger for victims of PTSD, Sexual Assault and Mental Illness!!!
There are no words to express how deep this book cut down to my soul. There isn't a pretty way to put how torn up I got after the last word was read. If you're looking for a happy and simple read, this book isn't for you. There's so much texture and real life scenarios that it made it all the more real. This book really messed with me emotionally and I think those are sometimes the best kind of books....
Summary:
Emilia DeJesus was a victim of sexual assault when she was a young kid. But now in her later teens things begin to change. She remembers parts of it and thought she knew for sure who the assailant was but soon that all comes to surface when new evidence is brought forward. Soon Emilia's life is turned upside down and her life becomes this big pool of water where she can hardly get her head above surface. She soon starts to find a place of her own that she can control, while her life is torn to pieces. Even her current boyfriend, brother and mother try to get her through her life but will it be in time to save Emilia before it's too late?
Plot:
Emilia is the main focus of this story and her struggles to come to terms with her assault. And on top of that though it's not discussed in detail her mental illness in the form of hallucinations and depression. What I couldn't understand was why her mother couldn't get her the proper care she needed. Coming from someone whose been in a psych ward her illness should've ended with her there as well. If I was her mother I would definitely push the subject for the safety of my child! I mean that is one major plot hole. But other than that it was very realistic and devastating to read. In a way the end result was the climax and that it ended in such a way it was hard to grasp what really happened! Definitely spooky in the sense of her mind but enlightening in a sense I learned how her mind worked. I've been interested in psychology for a while now and it was fun to learn the inner-workings of Emilia's mind. Lot's of turns and pivots but enough slow moments to allow you to gather yourself and move forward.
Romance:
There was romance in this story but it wasn't really the main focus. Yes Emilia's boyfriend did everything he could to help her but I think Emilia herself wasn't focused on their relationship. It was heartbreaking to read such dedication of her boyfriend and how far gone Emilia was at points. But other than that I wouldn't say this was a romance novel.
Characters:
Emilia was a character I could understand but not all the way relate to. I'm not as far gone in mental illness than she was in the book. But Emilia was complex and full of texture, meaning she had so many angles and details to her that I'm still not sure I fully grasped them all. But I liked her in a way that she was trying to fight all her demons. The friend she met in the story was an interesting choice. The friend was a friend and not a friend at the same time. They were both wrapped up in themselves to understand each other. I'm still trying to determine whether the friend added to the story or just was there. Emilia's support system like her brother, mother, and boyfriend were very nice to meet and read alongside them. They definitely made the story the way it was meant to be. They made the reader to understand that Emilia had people that cared about her and wanted to see her pull through and create a better life for herself!
Transformation of Character:
This is a tricky part of this book. In a way I think I saw some transformation in Emilia and downfalls in other parts. So yes and no she transformed. As for other characters? I think in a way the mother and boyfriend transformed. They learned a lot from Emilia and therefore, became someone new.
Description:
This was the best part of the book! The eerie way the author described each scene was remarkable. The description was like poetry, so poetic and beautiful. And the foreshadowing was well placed and executed! The crows were a huge symbol in this book and it lead to eventually the climax. It was remarkable to see such vivid and realistic detail that it seemed like I was there. The description of Emilia's mind, like I mentioned earlier was really interesting and well described. The psychology alone in this book was well executed. Also, the triggers in this book were well placed but hard to read. The author had to have had either done a lot of research or experienced it herself for her to get it the way she did. It seemed so real.
Style:
This was written in third person and multiple point of views (POV's). I liked we were really able to experience everything alongside Emilia herself; to experience each and every critical moment. And to also be in the major characters point of views to see how they responded in critical moments too. As for the the third person, it really gave the reader a way to relate or understand Emilia and the other character but also take a step back at the same time.The author's writing was captivating and enjoyable to read. Though the reading was difficult at times to read, it really was hard to put down!
Quote of the Book:
"She looked at herself in the mirror again, at the judgmental image staring back at her."
Last Thoughts:
Though this book isn't for everyone, I very much enjoyed it. It has been one of my favorite psychological reads of the year. I can't wait to experience what other books Ms. Sanchez has in store for us! So, if you think you're strong enough to read this book, I would totally recommend you go download or pick up a copy today!
October 12, 2020
Emilia De Jesus has basically gotten her life back together after a brutal attack when she was 8 years old shattered her and her family. After years of hard work she now has a good relationship with her mother, her brother and her devoted boyfriend. Sure, her dad has been AWOL for years and no, she hasn’t made a ton of friends. But things are basically ok. Until, that is, she learns that she identified the wrong person in her attack. And now the possibility of having to confront him, and the reality that her real attacker has never been held accountable, are breaking cracks in her world. Her fragile sense of safety, her tenuous hold on a “normal” teenage life, her ability to control her anxiety in social situations are all disappearing. With winter setting in she can feel in her bones the cold of the day of her attack and she is beginning to freeze. Dark and ominous, this book is a slow burning psychological thriller. Will Emilia survive the onslaught of returning pain? Will the people who love her?
With unexpected twists this book is more than a mystery; but it’s slow pace means it’s not quite a thriller. Emilia is an interesting character and the book is driven by her internal thought processes. She is shaped by her family: her father a poet at heart from El Salvador and her mother a Mexican make-up artist. Her brother Tomás watches her carefully, though he has his own secret identity (he loves his sister’s clothes and makeup). And her boyfriend Ian can tell that something is not quite right in Emilia’s world, but she is not willing to tell him about it.
This book is a powerful reflection on latent harm from old wounds and the ways in which people can try desperately to help one another and still fail miserably. A riveting story of heartbreak that is as beautiful as the black crows that Emilia sees as protectors and with whom she longs to fly away.
Trigger warning: Emilia’s story is shaped around an old tragedy and builds to a tragic ending; this is a book about sexual violence and the serious mental health consequences for a smart, complicated young woman. Suicide and self-harm are here and you should not hand this book to a reader looking for an uplifting ending.
But it is highly recommended to mature, thoughtful readers who can handle the intensity of emotion that comes with guilt layered over pain and the dilemma of a girl staring down a long tunnel of suffering with only hard choices ahead. For sophisticated, safe readers this is an intense and gripping read.
With unexpected twists this book is more than a mystery; but it’s slow pace means it’s not quite a thriller. Emilia is an interesting character and the book is driven by her internal thought processes. She is shaped by her family: her father a poet at heart from El Salvador and her mother a Mexican make-up artist. Her brother Tomás watches her carefully, though he has his own secret identity (he loves his sister’s clothes and makeup). And her boyfriend Ian can tell that something is not quite right in Emilia’s world, but she is not willing to tell him about it.
This book is a powerful reflection on latent harm from old wounds and the ways in which people can try desperately to help one another and still fail miserably. A riveting story of heartbreak that is as beautiful as the black crows that Emilia sees as protectors and with whom she longs to fly away.
Trigger warning: Emilia’s story is shaped around an old tragedy and builds to a tragic ending; this is a book about sexual violence and the serious mental health consequences for a smart, complicated young woman. Suicide and self-harm are here and you should not hand this book to a reader looking for an uplifting ending.
But it is highly recommended to mature, thoughtful readers who can handle the intensity of emotion that comes with guilt layered over pain and the dilemma of a girl staring down a long tunnel of suffering with only hard choices ahead. For sophisticated, safe readers this is an intense and gripping read.
December 14, 2018
If ever a book describes vividly the lasting effects of a traumatic assault, it would be this one, a touching exploration of a sixteen-year-old girl trying to move on past the event that has stained her life for the past eight years. Emilia DeJesus was assaulted eight years ago by a neighbor with special needs, but as it turns out, Jeremy Lance, the boy she thought was to blame is actually innocent, a fact revealed when the real assailant confesses. This and other events send Emilia spiraling into a deep depression as she tries to make sense of what happened and not blame herself. There are interesting family dynamics at work here too as her mother has become exceedingly protective, her absent father returns, and her older brother Tomas is struggling with his own sexual identity. Her boyfriend Ian is devoted to Emilia, but she seems unable or unwilling to open up to him or anyone else, and as the winter of 1994 sets in, her grasp on reality becomes ever shakier. I was fascinated by her connection to birds, particularly crows, and the sanctuary she crafts in an abandoned classroom in a school set to me demolished. I kept hoping for a happy ending--for Emilia to save herself or for someone to save her, and oh, how I wish her mother had insisted that she see a therapist at this critical point in her life. But throughout the book, I had this nagging feeling of doom. Despite her best efforts and the love and support of those around her, Emilia couldn't outrun her past. One of the most powerful passages--and it's only a short part of the book--concerns Carl Smith, the man who attacked her so viciously all those years ago, and his reasons for doing so. Like much of this book, that passage was absolutely haunting. It almost goes without saying that Emilia's trauma affected her and everyone around her, even the detective who thought he had cracked the case. Man! This woman--Jenny Torres Sanchez--can write!
August 12, 2024
"Months compressed into nothing, into a second and a single breath. And it felt like no time had passed." (A quote taken from the book and a perfectly lovely poetic citation of the human thought process.)
This book was not what I thought it would be by the synopsis because it was so much more. Almost acting as a teenage noir thriller in the most subtle ways, I found this profoundly moving young adult novel made the 46-year-old man in me quite shaken. There's a special sweetness in reading a book that evokes a sensitivity to the long-lost memories of everything around you, and to remember things you're not seeing on the surface – the sadness of others, the hurt, pain, confusion, waves of anger and regret — are probably turmoils someone near and dear to you is going through right now. Or it may be something you're going through, but can't manage to put your finger on a definition of what that could be. I think often that we all lose touch with reality in this beastly world . . . but reality never leaves us the same way. As the character arcs in this story begin to ascend like the guarded defense mechanisms of the cobra snake, Jenny's attention to detail in building each character moves like the swelling of an orchestra, so that it becomes difficult to put the book down. Even while driving.
Only joshing — I can't read while driving, especially not with my reading glasses on.
This book was not what I thought it would be by the synopsis because it was so much more. Almost acting as a teenage noir thriller in the most subtle ways, I found this profoundly moving young adult novel made the 46-year-old man in me quite shaken. There's a special sweetness in reading a book that evokes a sensitivity to the long-lost memories of everything around you, and to remember things you're not seeing on the surface – the sadness of others, the hurt, pain, confusion, waves of anger and regret — are probably turmoils someone near and dear to you is going through right now. Or it may be something you're going through, but can't manage to put your finger on a definition of what that could be. I think often that we all lose touch with reality in this beastly world . . . but reality never leaves us the same way. As the character arcs in this story begin to ascend like the guarded defense mechanisms of the cobra snake, Jenny's attention to detail in building each character moves like the swelling of an orchestra, so that it becomes difficult to put the book down. Even while driving.
Only joshing — I can't read while driving, especially not with my reading glasses on.
Read
January 28, 2019"The Fall of Innocence" was a really good book. In the book the protagonist, Emilia is battling with PTSD from an attack that she dealt with as a child. Emilia tries to distance herself and forget what happened but something changes in the investigation that leads Emilia to try and find the right answers. This book is ideal for young adults.
October 27, 2025
An incredibly sad read that needs trigger warnings. it's just sad, sad and more sad. it's not a bad book, the writing is good, it's just sad. I wanted some closure but it doesn't happen. Do not read if you do not like sad books because that's all this is.
4 stars because as mentioned above, I do think it's well written.
4 stars because as mentioned above, I do think it's well written.
October 19, 2018
This book is very sad, it didn't have the ending that I thought and hoped that it would. This book is a very realistic book about living with a trauma, dealing with that trauma and lots of the time the results aren't what you are hoping they would be.
March 15, 2019
Powerful and sad. Speaks to all the daughters and mothers of daughters, anyone who might be a little different and don't think they're seen. For the parents who leave and the ones who hold on. One of the best books I've read in a long time.
July 25, 2021
**EDIT: TRIGGER WARNING-MENTAL ILLNESS AND PHYSICAL ABUSE--and other, but spoiler...**
I went into a book expecting a thriller, or at least crime genre.
It has turned out to be one of the heaviest and heart-wrenching books I've ever read. That said, know I usually avoid anything I know is tragic, or that might make me cry in general, so it is not normal for me.
But...it's has not been a bad experience. Once I understood the writing style, it has turned out to be a wonderful and painfully realistic exploration of PTSD effects on a victim, their family, friend, and others.
Note--I stated the above at around 85%, and now have something to add:
I finished, and found myself bawling, pulling my 6 year old daughter close, and reminding her she can talk to Mama and Daddy about ANYTHING, and she doesn't need to lie. I am trying my best, as someone who deals with debilitating mental illness, to make sure she knows what it is, what it means, and how it effects not only me, but those around me...and that a lot of it is not intended, uncontrollable.
4.5/5 due to not getting the chapter titles being the first few words of each chapter, and formating/editing errors
I went into a book expecting a thriller, or at least crime genre.
It has turned out to be one of the heaviest and heart-wrenching books I've ever read. That said, know I usually avoid anything I know is tragic, or that might make me cry in general, so it is not normal for me.
But...it's has not been a bad experience. Once I understood the writing style, it has turned out to be a wonderful and painfully realistic exploration of PTSD effects on a victim, their family, friend, and others.
Note--I stated the above at around 85%, and now have something to add:
I finished, and found myself bawling, pulling my 6 year old daughter close, and reminding her she can talk to Mama and Daddy about ANYTHING, and she doesn't need to lie. I am trying my best, as someone who deals with debilitating mental illness, to make sure she knows what it is, what it means, and how it effects not only me, but those around me...and that a lot of it is not intended, uncontrollable.
4.5/5 due to not getting the chapter titles being the first few words of each chapter, and formating/editing errors
September 10, 2018
⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Fall of Innocence by Jenny Torres Sanchez revolves around a horrific event with a tragic outcome. This is totes not a feel-good book. I’m ready for a light hearted and fun read. One last point, this book needed some editing and clarification. The brother figure could have been a bigger part of this story and I would have cut the stripper out. Some books need crisp editing. #bookstagram #idratherbereading #book #books #read #reading #abuse #abusesurvivor #bummer #downer #ineedadrink #notkiddingaboutstripper
IG: @bookbimbo
IG: @bookbimbo
April 14, 2018
Received as a Goodreads giveaway. I devoured this book in two evenings. The topic matter is tough, but the writing moves it along and makes it hard to pull yourself away. I found myself doing the ... just one more chapter thing (for several more chapters). The book does conclude in an angsty melodramatic way typical of teen fiction, which is why I went with 4 stars instead of 5.
May 1, 2020
(SPOILER) The Fall of Innocence is the story about a 16 year old girl named Emilia. When Emilia was 8 years old she was attacked and left to die in the middle of the woods. After being rescued she was never quite the same. On top of the trauma from her attack, Emilia also had to deal with the absence of her father. Her father left after not being able to cope with the incident. Now 8 years later Emilia still finds herself being controlled by the memories of what happened to her. When the case reopens after someone calls to confess attacking Emilia all those years ago, the trauma comes flooding back. Emilia must now deal with the guilt that comes from locking away the wrong person for 8 years, the fear of knowing that the real attacker is still out there, the stress of her relationship problems that come from her PTSD not allowing her to open up like wants to, and now the reappearance of her father after he finds out about the investigation.
I didn't love this book. I am someone who tends to like more exciting and fast paced stories and this one was definitely on the slower side. I found that when we went into each characters thoughts things began to get repetitive and predictable. But, one thing that did keep the book moving and bearable to get through was that the author was constantly changing perspectives. This allowed the reader to see the same situations from different characters perspectives which I found interesting. I also liked how although the story was about Emilia and how she was dealing with what happened to her, we got to look at the struggles that her brother, Tomas had with his own gender identity, and we learned how important Emilia was to her boyfriend Ian, and the stress her mother goes through worrying about her. The ending of the book was definitely the best and most exciting part. I had predicted a happy and predictable ending to the story but it was heartbreaking and a complete shock. I recommend this book to anyone who likes to read about real world problems and struggles that women, especially women of color, have to deal with today. It was real and raw and it showed that not every story has a happy ending.
I didn't love this book. I am someone who tends to like more exciting and fast paced stories and this one was definitely on the slower side. I found that when we went into each characters thoughts things began to get repetitive and predictable. But, one thing that did keep the book moving and bearable to get through was that the author was constantly changing perspectives. This allowed the reader to see the same situations from different characters perspectives which I found interesting. I also liked how although the story was about Emilia and how she was dealing with what happened to her, we got to look at the struggles that her brother, Tomas had with his own gender identity, and we learned how important Emilia was to her boyfriend Ian, and the stress her mother goes through worrying about her. The ending of the book was definitely the best and most exciting part. I had predicted a happy and predictable ending to the story but it was heartbreaking and a complete shock. I recommend this book to anyone who likes to read about real world problems and struggles that women, especially women of color, have to deal with today. It was real and raw and it showed that not every story has a happy ending.
May 23, 2018
Actual rating 3.5 stars
Received advanced reader copy from publisher via Baker & Taylor book supplier
Eight years ago, Emilia survived a violent assault. She has forced the memories into a dark corner of her mind and tried to forget the face of Jeremy Lance, the young boy who was responsible and caused her so much pain. But when a discovery about her attacker’s identity is brought forward, the memories Emilia has so carefully packed away begin to resurface and Emilia struggles to come to terms with the new truths.
Initially, I had trouble with the writing style. But I eventually settled in and grew more at ease with the words. The story bounces back to Emilia’s memories of the initial assault and forward to “modern day.” Note: the story is set in 1994-1995. The format gives readers a peek inside Emilia’s mind, a picture of what it is that she recalls from the horrific event while also showing how she and her family are coping on a day-to-day basis even eight years later.
What at first appears to be a family as healed as it could be following a violent event is revealed to be a family troubled and torn. BE WARNED: This is a dark story with what could potentially be many triggers for anyone who has experiences assault of any kind. The conclusion
This is like reading or watching a tragic news story unfold. It is difficult to watch or read yet you find you cannot look away or stop until you reach the end. It is haunting, it is tragic, it has a beauty of its own.
Received advanced reader copy from publisher via Baker & Taylor book supplier
Eight years ago, Emilia survived a violent assault. She has forced the memories into a dark corner of her mind and tried to forget the face of Jeremy Lance, the young boy who was responsible and caused her so much pain. But when a discovery about her attacker’s identity is brought forward, the memories Emilia has so carefully packed away begin to resurface and Emilia struggles to come to terms with the new truths.
Initially, I had trouble with the writing style. But I eventually settled in and grew more at ease with the words. The story bounces back to Emilia’s memories of the initial assault and forward to “modern day.” Note: the story is set in 1994-1995. The format gives readers a peek inside Emilia’s mind, a picture of what it is that she recalls from the horrific event while also showing how she and her family are coping on a day-to-day basis even eight years later.
What at first appears to be a family as healed as it could be following a violent event is revealed to be a family troubled and torn. BE WARNED: This is a dark story with what could potentially be many triggers for anyone who has experiences assault of any kind. The conclusion
This is like reading or watching a tragic news story unfold. It is difficult to watch or read yet you find you cannot look away or stop until you reach the end. It is haunting, it is tragic, it has a beauty of its own.
April 5, 2019
So... thanks for suggesting that people like me can never be happy and at peace and so we should just kill ourselves?
July 2, 2018
Oh gosh. Where do I even begin with this masterpiece of a novel?? This book was utterly amazing, I can’t even begin to tell you. Immediately upon reading the last page, I took to Instagram and fervently wrote out a thank you letter to Jenny Sanchez for writing this story, with this beautiful cast of characters.
I wrote to thank her for writing a story about a Hispanic individual-because so often you find stories about devastating traumas afflicting white girls, not those of color, when it happens more so to those girls than any other. And for also including some of Hispanic culture in this novel, for it only added to this story.
I wrote to thank her for even writing Emilia’s story to begin with. This novel takes place 8 years after Emilia has suffered a brutal attack in the woods behind her old elementary school. On each and every page you can feel her pain & suffering & how Emilia is fighting with everything in her to survive. But at the same time your heart aches in tangible sorrow for this innocent little girl, for how could you ever hope to be okay after an attack at such a young age? You come to realize Emilia’s pain and it feels like she was never truly given a fair chance at this life. You feel her isolation, and how her story had been silenced, how even though she is surrounded by a network of unconditional love & support, in many ways, she couldn’t feel more isolated and alone. Through each page Emilia takes you through her story, told in third person & with multiple flashbacks to establish what had happened to her, the depths of her pain, and why the story ultimately ends the way it does.
Emilia’s story is so important. While heartbreaking, it is ultimately hopeful, and serves as a voice for all girls that have gone through similar experiences that have been silenced. Her story speaks to what so often unfortunately happens to many girls. In my opinion, this book was perfect. This could be a hyperbole, but I loved this book with every ounce of my soul-I encourage you all to pick it up. An easy 5/5 stars-it has fast become one of my favorite books of all time.
The diversity was amazing: with a complete cast of Hispanic characters, not to mention a character who is questioning his gender identity and/or sexuality.
TRIGGER WARNINGS (POSSIBLE SPOILERS):
-rape
-violence
-PTSD
-suicide.
I wrote to thank her for writing a story about a Hispanic individual-because so often you find stories about devastating traumas afflicting white girls, not those of color, when it happens more so to those girls than any other. And for also including some of Hispanic culture in this novel, for it only added to this story.
I wrote to thank her for even writing Emilia’s story to begin with. This novel takes place 8 years after Emilia has suffered a brutal attack in the woods behind her old elementary school. On each and every page you can feel her pain & suffering & how Emilia is fighting with everything in her to survive. But at the same time your heart aches in tangible sorrow for this innocent little girl, for how could you ever hope to be okay after an attack at such a young age? You come to realize Emilia’s pain and it feels like she was never truly given a fair chance at this life. You feel her isolation, and how her story had been silenced, how even though she is surrounded by a network of unconditional love & support, in many ways, she couldn’t feel more isolated and alone. Through each page Emilia takes you through her story, told in third person & with multiple flashbacks to establish what had happened to her, the depths of her pain, and why the story ultimately ends the way it does.
Emilia’s story is so important. While heartbreaking, it is ultimately hopeful, and serves as a voice for all girls that have gone through similar experiences that have been silenced. Her story speaks to what so often unfortunately happens to many girls. In my opinion, this book was perfect. This could be a hyperbole, but I loved this book with every ounce of my soul-I encourage you all to pick it up. An easy 5/5 stars-it has fast become one of my favorite books of all time.
The diversity was amazing: with a complete cast of Hispanic characters, not to mention a character who is questioning his gender identity and/or sexuality.
TRIGGER WARNINGS (POSSIBLE SPOILERS):
-rape
-violence
-PTSD
-suicide.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 107 reviews