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The Pill That Steals Lives: One Woman's Terrifying Journey to Discover the Truth about Antidepressants
While going through a divorce, documentary filmmaker Katinka Blackford Newman took an antidepressant. Not unusual except that things didn't turn out quite as she expected. She went into a four-day toxic psychosis with violent hallucinations, imagining she had killed her children, and in fact attacking herself with a knife. Caught up in a real-life nightmare when doctors didn't realize she was suffering side effects of more pills, she went into a year-long decline. Soon she was wandering around in an old dressing gown, unable to care for herself, and dribbling. She nearly lost everything, but luck stepped in; treated at another hospital, she was taken off all the medication and made a miraculous recovery within weeks. By publicizing her story, Katinka went on to make some startling discoveries. Could there really be thousands around the world who kill themselves and others from these drugs? What of the billions of dollars in settlements paid out by drug companies? Could they really be the cause of world mass killings, such as the Germanwings pilot who took an airliner down, killing 150, while on exactly the same medication as the author when she became psychotic? And how come so many people are taking these drugs when experts say they are no more effective than a sugar-coated pill for people like Katinka, who are distressed rather than depressed. Moving, frightening, and at times funny, this is the story of how a single mom in Harlesden, North-West London, juggles life and her quest for love in order to investigate Big Pharma.
288 pages, Paperback
Published September 15, 2016
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151 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
nein-nein-nein
August 13, 2021i received this in a book subscription. obviously, i'm not the target audience. *gestures at blog name, username, and my entire branding*
i might have been willing to give it a shot regardless, but other reviewers have said the author refers to mentally ill patients as "loonies" and is super self-absorbed so uh... yeah, that's a hard old pass from me.
also, the blurb unironically refers to "Big Pharma", which tells me all i need to know, really.
i might have been willing to give it a shot regardless, but other reviewers have said the author refers to mentally ill patients as "loonies" and is super self-absorbed so uh... yeah, that's a hard old pass from me.
also, the blurb unironically refers to "Big Pharma", which tells me all i need to know, really.
July 27, 2020
Regardless of whether or not you agree with the authors opinion of antidepressants, this is an objectively terrible book. The book is repetitive, biased and contradictory and the author is entitled, spoilt and insensitive. I wholeheartedly agree with the message in that antidepressants should be used as a last resort and there should be more regulation about publishing negative or inconsequential research, but this book did a really crap job of convincing the reader of this argument.
At the prospect of losing her house after a divorce the author goes to her GP to request an antidepressant. She's refused so seeks another medical professional who will prescribe what she wants. She states that it is the loss of the house and not the divorce which is the cause of her despair, which may seem a bit extreme but makes sense later in the book when her opinions and actions highlight how materialistic she is.
After taking the antidepressant the author has a severe negative reaction almost immediately and what ensues is a year of chaos for her. What she had to endure was truly awful, however its incredibly difficult to sympathise with someone come across as such an awful person.
The book reads like a desperate attempt to regain respect in the only way the author knows how.... by reminding everyone how well off she is. We didn't need to know that Ocado shop was £100. We didn't need to know that you and your husband spend £300 on each other at birthday's/Christmas. We didn't need to know that you bought 3 identical dresses for £40 each for your various photo shoots and TV appearances. We didn't need the 50 mentions that you went to a private hospital, or the most expensive hospital in the country, just in case we'd forgotten how affluent you are. And we didn't need all the other little comment here and there about the expensive things you own. You may measure a person by monetary value but not everyone does and in fact, it was such a common theme throughout the book, that it detracted from the overall message.
What was possibly the most unforgivable aspect to the book was the comment about someone that the author dated committing suicide after coming off antidepressants being followed by the author jokingly stating that the suicide wasn't because of dating her. That was insensitive and in poor taste.
The author's research is questionable, for example; Page 1 of the prologue, right at the start, it states that one of the listed side effects of antidepressants is depression which is "sort of like an asprin giving you a headache isn't it?" Yup, that's one of the listed side effects of asprin. This must be the easiest thing in the book to fact check, even if you don't have any asprin at home it's listed on drugs.com. If the author couldn't even be bothered to fact check this then what else has been incorrectly stated just to suit message? And of the research that she has done, how much has been disregarded as it doesn't fit with her confirmation bias?
The references at the back of the book, if you can even call them that, are laughable and appear to be included merely to trick the reader into thinking that the "facts" are more than just anecdotes, in a very similar way a conspiracy theorist would. Most of the references merely state "Conversation with X". Some even just state "conversations with the author" - Conversations with who? When? Where? How can we access this information? References are meant to be a way for the reader to fact check what is stated within the body of text.
Even when the references do point to an actual source they're misleading. For example there's a paragraph explaining a death and details how the coroners report states that they believe it's due to antidepressants. The reference is placed next to "coroners report" yet the actual reference just points to a news article reporting that the death happened. The intention being that the author wants you to think it's the actual coroners report that is referenced but is counting on the fact that nobody is going to check.
The author was so self-absorbed that this project, which set out to try and educate people about what she believes is the "truth about antidepressants", just became an ego massage. I get that it's a story of her experiences but part 2 of the book, which from the title suggests that it is about other people who have suffered a similar fate, is still entirely about her. This second part was a mix between a behind the scenes for the making of her documentary, a series of diary entries detailing her dating life (right down to her tinder username and how she's curated her profile to be her 'ideal image' rather than actual self) and depressingly desperate attempts to convince the reader that she's funny.
One chapter in part two of the book, which was meant to be about a speech she went to record at a convention, turned into a monologue about how funny her wedding speech was instead. Sure this seems in character for the author but what I don't understand is why the editor couldn't see that nobody would care about her wedding speech? And while we're talking about the editor, what did the even contribute to this? Did they even read any of it?
The epilogue starts with a quote from the author's mum - "don't let the facts get in the way of a good story", which is entirely fitting of this whole book.
At the prospect of losing her house after a divorce the author goes to her GP to request an antidepressant. She's refused so seeks another medical professional who will prescribe what she wants. She states that it is the loss of the house and not the divorce which is the cause of her despair, which may seem a bit extreme but makes sense later in the book when her opinions and actions highlight how materialistic she is.
After taking the antidepressant the author has a severe negative reaction almost immediately and what ensues is a year of chaos for her. What she had to endure was truly awful, however its incredibly difficult to sympathise with someone come across as such an awful person.
The book reads like a desperate attempt to regain respect in the only way the author knows how.... by reminding everyone how well off she is. We didn't need to know that Ocado shop was £100. We didn't need to know that you and your husband spend £300 on each other at birthday's/Christmas. We didn't need to know that you bought 3 identical dresses for £40 each for your various photo shoots and TV appearances. We didn't need the 50 mentions that you went to a private hospital, or the most expensive hospital in the country, just in case we'd forgotten how affluent you are. And we didn't need all the other little comment here and there about the expensive things you own. You may measure a person by monetary value but not everyone does and in fact, it was such a common theme throughout the book, that it detracted from the overall message.
What was possibly the most unforgivable aspect to the book was the comment about someone that the author dated committing suicide after coming off antidepressants being followed by the author jokingly stating that the suicide wasn't because of dating her. That was insensitive and in poor taste.
The author's research is questionable, for example; Page 1 of the prologue, right at the start, it states that one of the listed side effects of antidepressants is depression which is "sort of like an asprin giving you a headache isn't it?" Yup, that's one of the listed side effects of asprin. This must be the easiest thing in the book to fact check, even if you don't have any asprin at home it's listed on drugs.com. If the author couldn't even be bothered to fact check this then what else has been incorrectly stated just to suit message? And of the research that she has done, how much has been disregarded as it doesn't fit with her confirmation bias?
The references at the back of the book, if you can even call them that, are laughable and appear to be included merely to trick the reader into thinking that the "facts" are more than just anecdotes, in a very similar way a conspiracy theorist would. Most of the references merely state "Conversation with X". Some even just state "conversations with the author" - Conversations with who? When? Where? How can we access this information? References are meant to be a way for the reader to fact check what is stated within the body of text.
Even when the references do point to an actual source they're misleading. For example there's a paragraph explaining a death and details how the coroners report states that they believe it's due to antidepressants. The reference is placed next to "coroners report" yet the actual reference just points to a news article reporting that the death happened. The intention being that the author wants you to think it's the actual coroners report that is referenced but is counting on the fact that nobody is going to check.
The author was so self-absorbed that this project, which set out to try and educate people about what she believes is the "truth about antidepressants", just became an ego massage. I get that it's a story of her experiences but part 2 of the book, which from the title suggests that it is about other people who have suffered a similar fate, is still entirely about her. This second part was a mix between a behind the scenes for the making of her documentary, a series of diary entries detailing her dating life (right down to her tinder username and how she's curated her profile to be her 'ideal image' rather than actual self) and depressingly desperate attempts to convince the reader that she's funny.
One chapter in part two of the book, which was meant to be about a speech she went to record at a convention, turned into a monologue about how funny her wedding speech was instead. Sure this seems in character for the author but what I don't understand is why the editor couldn't see that nobody would care about her wedding speech? And while we're talking about the editor, what did the even contribute to this? Did they even read any of it?
The epilogue starts with a quote from the author's mum - "don't let the facts get in the way of a good story", which is entirely fitting of this whole book.
August 4, 2016
I found the voice to be very repetitive and honestly, quite annoying. There was an overly deprecatory tone to the book, and while very insightful and interesting, it was far too biased and one sided. There was never any mention of anti-depressants or any other drugs for mental illnesses to be at all beneficial. This kind of made me want to throw the book at the wall. The emphasis on how privileged this woman's life is was unnecessary and I felt it detracted from the importance of the whole novel.
June 14, 2020
Having had a psychotic reaction to zoloft myself in 2006 after 1 dose, I can relate to quite a few of the events described in this book.
Unfortunately, the pompous privileged arrogance the author displays makes it difficult for me to feel sympathy for her despite the traumatic events she endured.
Unfortunately, the pompous privileged arrogance the author displays makes it difficult for me to feel sympathy for her despite the traumatic events she endured.
May 30, 2021
As someone who's been on both sides of the psychiatric medication experience (akathisia sufferer after being given numerous medications as a teenager and working in the mental health field as an adult) I'd hoped this would be an interesting and thought provoking read, unfortunately I was mistaken. The author frequently refers to "loony bins" "lunatics" and "mad people" which while she doesn't acknowledge having a recognised mental illness herself doesn't give her the right to be rude towards and about those who do. She rails against antidepressant and antipsychotic medication throughout her book but fails to come up with a better solution for helping those people with recognised and diagnosed mental health problems. While it might be recognised that certain psychiatric medications are little better than placebos or in the case of antipsychotics often cause terrible side effects the reality is there isn't a better solution for helping many people cope with their illnesses at present due to chronic underfunding for other therapies, lack of interest for drug companies to find more effective medications that don't have the same level of side effects and numerous other issues affecting the provision of mental health care just in the UK. On the first page there's a disclaimer advising those taking antidepressants not to stop taking them without seeking medical advice first yet the author clearly has a bias against the use of medication and on page 208 wishes repeatedly for a friend to stop taking the SNRI she's been taking with self declared benefit for a number of years. The author seems to be very self centred in her outlook claiming to worry on page 255 on her potential to drive a coach load of children into a brick wall, as some sort of journalist/filmmaker I highly doubt that she has the relevant knowledge or license to operate a coach so presumably the boys and girls of her nearest primary school can breathe a sigh of relief. Also did you know her private hospital (where they were in my opinion lacking in their duty of care towards the author, preferring to pump her full of numerous medications each time a new problem arose rather than taking the approach the NHS hospital did of withdrawing medications to obtain a baseline for her mental state before (re)introducing medication if/when needed after a period of observation) cost £6000 a week? I lost count of the sheer number of times she mentioned this though the 327 pages but just in case you weren't aware she went away to a private hospital that cost £6000 a week that somehow her ex-husband's health insurance paid out for her, something out of reach to most people in this country in need of mental health support who have to rely on an underfunded health service, traveling miles to get a bed, long waiting lists for talking therapies and depending what part of the country equally long waits to be assessed by a community or CAMHS team. For the many people who've suffered unrecognised side effects such as Akathisia and consequently gone on to take their lives or be subjected to detention under the Mental Health Act I doubt this incredibly privileged tale of a lost year will ring true, particularly for those whose faces don't fit into the mould of nicely presented, educated, middle class, articulate white person which we see here.
I was hoping for some sort of balanced argument to suggest that if commonly prescribed mental health medications aren't for for purpose that there was something better and more effective with a strong evidence base to back up its use that the author was prepared to vouch for. Unfortunately what you get is a very one sided anti psychiatry piece of writing by someone who may be better off producing the upcoming series of Britain's next top benefits cheat/who wants to be a serial killer or whatever channel 5 are working on for ratings this year.
I was hoping for some sort of balanced argument to suggest that if commonly prescribed mental health medications aren't for for purpose that there was something better and more effective with a strong evidence base to back up its use that the author was prepared to vouch for. Unfortunately what you get is a very one sided anti psychiatry piece of writing by someone who may be better off producing the upcoming series of Britain's next top benefits cheat/who wants to be a serial killer or whatever channel 5 are working on for ratings this year.
February 8, 2017
This is indeed a ‘terrifying journey’ that Katinka Newman has made into drug-induced insanity. It was impossible to put this book down till the last chapter was read. Thank God for the enlightened staff at St Charles Hospital who saved her from what could have been a lifetime of misdiagnosis and prescription madness. What is also terrifying is that so many clinicians were, and still are, unaware of what these SSRIs can do to a human being - how they can affect brains and behaviour in susceptible patients, inducing all the symptoms of so-called schizophrenia or other serious mental conditions. How many others have been caught in this same trap? How many professionals have failed to question the part played by psychiatric drugs in symptoms of mental illness? It’s NOT ‘all in the mind’. It’s NOT all in childhood trauma. Toxins can have a huge impact on the body and brain, resulting in symptoms peculiar to each human being. If society is to continue being brainwashed into reliance on prescription drugs, thanks to aggressive marketing by Pharma, then metabolic testing at birth should be introduced. That way, families could know immediately if they are going to have bad reactions to medication.
I am so glad Katinka has had the courage and determination to write this book – it so needed to be written! Thank you so much Katinka for all the research you have carried out, and for the powerful message you share – all the more powerful since it comes from a ‘victim’. This account of your horrific experience should help raise awareness and save lives.
And it should be compulsory reading for every medical / psychiatric trainee.
I am so glad Katinka has had the courage and determination to write this book – it so needed to be written! Thank you so much Katinka for all the research you have carried out, and for the powerful message you share – all the more powerful since it comes from a ‘victim’. This account of your horrific experience should help raise awareness and save lives.
And it should be compulsory reading for every medical / psychiatric trainee.
January 13, 2021
Pseudoscience
I feel for Katinka and her family, they have gone to hell and back. However, I do not like her language when describing mental ill health patients ( loonies, fruitcake etc) or her sense of superiority, e.g.. slumming it in Harlesden. Her research is pseudoscience.
I feel for Katinka and her family, they have gone to hell and back. However, I do not like her language when describing mental ill health patients ( loonies, fruitcake etc) or her sense of superiority, e.g.. slumming it in Harlesden. Her research is pseudoscience.
May 21, 2017
A powerfully told and brave true story of a writer and documentary maker, who basically lost a year of her life, due to the adverse side effects of a cocktail of antidepressants. These prescription drugs turned the author's life upside down, reducing her to a state of decline, which meant she became an unfit mother, through no fault of her own. A must read for anybody considering taking antidepressants, which may suit some people, but not everybody! My own mother endured a year on high doses of antidepressants, which made her descend to the depths of further illness. This is the main reason I wanted to read this outstandingly well written account, of what it's like when drugs do more harm than good.
April 17, 2019
I have to congratulate Katinka (Tink) on surviving to tell the tale, and the detail she has provided in this engaging diary of a journey through hell. It is proof - if any is required - that she has recovered from the terrifying drugging she was subjected to, and her memory is intact. A must-read for anyone contemplating taking antidepressants or who has a family member suffering from their 'side effects'. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. How many people have lost their lives because of these drugs? No one knows for sure, as the figures are not collected by the pharmaceutical companies.
January 5, 2017
This book put me through every single emotion possible. I am so grateful to Katinka for sharing her story and for raising awareness of the horrible side effects that antidepressants and antipsychotics people can experience. Her story, and those of the others mentioned, really hit me hard.
Where I understand these medications have helped so many, without major issues, it is still good to raise awareness.
Where I understand these medications have helped so many, without major issues, it is still good to raise awareness.
November 11, 2019
I wanted to learn more about the anti-psychiatry stance and the ill effects of antidepressants. But this book is really about someone who is persistently discontented, who warns people away from seeking help, and whose only solution is to “harden up”.
April 17, 2017
Biased, repetitive, boring.
April 10, 2018
It's so dangerous to celebrate or slate medication publically and one sidedly. I think this book was probably written too quickly to share a balanced argument.
March 9, 2024
I found it hard to identify with the author as she comes across as very affluent and materialistic. In some ways this detracts from her message. Of course I may not be her intended audience.
There could be a lot more solid research included to back her claims, but then again it’s primarily designed as a personal story -
emotionally engaging to provoke an emotional response. So while I guess I found it disturbing and sad to read how the drugs affected her, I didn’t feel massive compassion for her as an individual.
She peppers her own story with references to tragic incidents similar to hers, much worse than her experience. But with the format of the book being more of a journal, these are not presented very systematically or in an organised way. I guess it has the feeling of being more like a screenplay, which would make sense given that she is a documentary filmmaker.
I was already aware of many of the issues about synthetic drugs and pharmaceutical companies so the message wasn’t overly surprising. Again I would have found more research on these to be more persuasive.
It’s worth a read if you’re considering antidepressants, even if only to make you more aware of the fact that side-effects are common and can be severe. If you have the good habit of reading the information pages inside the packaging of medicines you should be aware of these already.
It struck me that this book is now quite old (2016) and that many times more people, especially young people, are now on anti-depressants (particularly due to the isolation and anxiety fuelled by the covid pandemic). So, while I may not have liked the personality/voice of the author, it seems that her experience and message is more relevant and worth consideration than ever before.
There could be a lot more solid research included to back her claims, but then again it’s primarily designed as a personal story -
emotionally engaging to provoke an emotional response. So while I guess I found it disturbing and sad to read how the drugs affected her, I didn’t feel massive compassion for her as an individual.
She peppers her own story with references to tragic incidents similar to hers, much worse than her experience. But with the format of the book being more of a journal, these are not presented very systematically or in an organised way. I guess it has the feeling of being more like a screenplay, which would make sense given that she is a documentary filmmaker.
I was already aware of many of the issues about synthetic drugs and pharmaceutical companies so the message wasn’t overly surprising. Again I would have found more research on these to be more persuasive.
It’s worth a read if you’re considering antidepressants, even if only to make you more aware of the fact that side-effects are common and can be severe. If you have the good habit of reading the information pages inside the packaging of medicines you should be aware of these already.
It struck me that this book is now quite old (2016) and that many times more people, especially young people, are now on anti-depressants (particularly due to the isolation and anxiety fuelled by the covid pandemic). So, while I may not have liked the personality/voice of the author, it seems that her experience and message is more relevant and worth consideration than ever before.
January 29, 2020
Wow!! I am so glad I found this book!
After being prescribed antidepressants (Citalopram) due to suffering with my hormones, I decided to look into the side effects before taking them. I came across this book and I am so glad I did. After reading this i decided not to take them and instead looked into a more natural alternative approach. I have learned so much by reading this book and I would recommend to anyone who is suffering with either depression, anxiety or hormonal issues to read this book before taking antidepressants. Thank you Katinka for sharing your story.
After being prescribed antidepressants (Citalopram) due to suffering with my hormones, I decided to look into the side effects before taking them. I came across this book and I am so glad I did. After reading this i decided not to take them and instead looked into a more natural alternative approach. I have learned so much by reading this book and I would recommend to anyone who is suffering with either depression, anxiety or hormonal issues to read this book before taking antidepressants. Thank you Katinka for sharing your story.
August 5, 2021
Received through Box of Stories.
I have never been so glad to finish a book and not have to read any more! As the author herself says, this book is a ‘middle class whinge’
Whilst I feel for the author and her experiences, this book presents a very one sided opinion that I feel verges on conspiracy theory.
The lavish lifestyle and continued references to the excess money being spent on everything are grating- her son doesn’t just have a duvet, he has an Egyptian goose down one.
My first bad box of stories book- I won’t be passing this on!
I have never been so glad to finish a book and not have to read any more! As the author herself says, this book is a ‘middle class whinge’
Whilst I feel for the author and her experiences, this book presents a very one sided opinion that I feel verges on conspiracy theory.
The lavish lifestyle and continued references to the excess money being spent on everything are grating- her son doesn’t just have a duvet, he has an Egyptian goose down one.
My first bad box of stories book- I won’t be passing this on!
November 17, 2021
Very subjective and one sided. I appreciate the dramatic experience of the author, however the book needs to be taken in with some reflection. Definitely highlights some issues worth exploring when it comes to the pharmaceutical concerns. Unfortunately, the author goes round and round with the same examples and arguments, so the book could be condensed in 2/3 total. I don't tend to abandon half read books, so I made it to the end, but honestly can't recommend as a source of reliable information...
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July 3, 2019Very interesting overall.
What stood out to me aside from the mental-health content is that she lets her children speak to her like shit. Amazing!
What stood out to me aside from the mental-health content is that she lets her children speak to her like shit. Amazing!
August 10, 2019
An eye-opening read.
May 4, 2021
I enjoyed the actual story and its background but felt this could have been told without knowing about the designer fruit bowl or the fact one of her children cried about not staying in a 5 star hotel. There was an air of privilege about it which just grated on me.
December 15, 2017
Making my blood boil as I turn each page. For a long time I have been opposed to the flippant approach the medical profession take in dolling out SSRI medication.
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