The Eternal Party: Understanding My Dad, Larry Hagman, the TV Star America Loved to Hate

by Kristina Hagman, Elizabeth Kaye

When you have a very famous father, like mine, everyone thinks they know him. My dad, Larry Hagman, portrayed the storied, ruthless oilman J.R. on the TV series Dallas. He was the man everyone loved to hate, but he had a personal reputation for being a nice guy who fully subscribed to his DON’T WORRY! BE HAPPY! FEEL GOOD! Dad had a famous parent, too—Mary Martin, known from many roles on Broadway, most memorably as Peter Pan. Off-stage she was a kind, elegant woman who maintained the down home charm of her Texas roots. Both were performers to the core of their beings, masters at crafting their public images. They were beloved. And their relationship was complex and often fraught. My father never apologized for anything, even when he was wrong. But in the hours before he died, when I was alone with him in his hospital room, he begged for forgiveness. In his delirium, he could not tell me what troubled him, but somehow I found the words to comfort him. After he died, I was compelled to learn why he felt the need to be forgiven. As I solved the troubling mystery of why my happy-go-lucky, pot-smoking, LSD-taking Dad had spent his last breaths begging to be forgiven, I also came to know my father and grandmother better than I had known them in life.

Genres: Biography, Memoir, Relationships, Nonfiction

271 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 7, 2016

Reviews

[Mediaman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Larry Hagman was a horrible person. Yet his daughter thinks he was great. This book details all the horrible things about the man, yet comes to the complete wrong conclusion. Instead of her being mad at him for his having affairs, his drug usage, his alcoholism, his cheating on her mother, his demeaning her for her weight, his allowing her childhood nudity in front of adults, and his leaving town without her proper supervision resulting in her teen rape, this faithful daughter paints her dad as some type of loving family man. In truth he only loved himself, and was probably one of the worst parents ever.

We already knew Hagman was bad from other books, including his own and Barbara Eden's. This book not only confirms it but turns him into a completely self-centered nutcase. His drug use was so big and public, his daughter here seems to brag that he went on an LSD trip with her as a bonding experience. His family took daily nude hot tubs and she sees nothing wrong with the family hanging out naked together, saying that as a child she saw hundreds of naked adults come party at her house.

There is so much wrong with this misguided woman. She normalizes abhorrent behavior and twists it into "love." She sees nothing wrong with her own drug abuse, childhood drinking, abortion, etc. I didn't see anything loving about Hagman, including his buying her a house or paying for her schooling. He seemed cruel and a control freak. Very similar to his own mother, the infamous Mary Martin who abandoned Hagman as a child so she could become as star.

This book is one of a number recent memoirs that try to turn drug-addicted alcoholic parents into heroes. They are not. They are immoral screw-ups that just kept their children on a loose enough leash that the kids are convinced they were loved. Based on this book, not only was the author not truly loved but Hagman was one of the worst fathers ever.

[Debbie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm eternally picking books to read that will let me relive my childhood. This is some sort of masochistic process that I really should stop. Of course I wasn't a privileged youth like Kristina Hagman. Whether it's a middle class household or a rich one, the mix of drug use and absent authority figures will lead to abuse of the youngest, most innocent members of the family. The Dennis Hopper incident in the book sure rang true to me.

Watching Larry Hagman on T.V. as a kid, I always thought he seemed mean. I guess he was a loving but drug and alcohol addled father. Maj Hagman comes off as perhaps more troubled than her husband. She had a terrible temper and was an extreme alcoholic.

I give five stars to Kristina Hagman for living through her childhood but unfortunately I can only give the book two stars. I thought it was written formulaic way.

[Nena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where do I begin? Okay, remember that song by Peter, Paul and Mary called "I Dig Rock and Roll Music"? Where they say "I think I could say somethin' if you know what I mean But if I really say it, the radio won't play it Unless I lay it between the lines"? Well, Kristina Hagman's book can be summed up in those exact words.

So for all of you who have not swallowed the red pill yet, the book is a very well written memoir. A nice "love letter" to her parents. You should read it.

For the rest of us who have gone down the rabbit hole, this book is a star-child's trail of bread crumbs. What she is trying to tell us, the "radio" (a/k/a TPTB) won't play/publish it. Unless she lays it between the lines and she did so very adeptly. Now follow the bouncing ball.

Heidi Hagman, who was born Heidi Christina Mary Hagman, has by her own admission had "many names". She now goes by Kristina with a K. She talks about the black and white clothing her grandmother, Mary Martin, forced her to wear, her animal print clothing and references a specific gemstone she was given. She also mentions carrying around The Catcher in the Rye and visiting military bases with her father. Anyone who has done any reading on the Monarch Program will know what this all means and why.

In Cathy O'Brien's book called Trance: Formation of America, Cathy describes a human hunting game that certain high level political figures forced her and her pre-school daughter to engage in while they were in captivity. You will find Kristina's father playing the exact game with her as a young child. Go read Cathy O'Brien's book for more details.

It was very disturbing to read her parents' bizarre, inappropriate and possible sinister behavior with their daughter and more than likely their son as well. Daily nude baths together in a hot tub with and without strangers joining them, childhood trips where she and her dad are completely naked swimming in a stream in the woods and taking pictures of these events, as well as walking around the house completely nude in front of her, doing LSD and drinking with their under-aged children, purposely going away and leaving their kids alone with friends connected to the entertainment business, the nude photos taken of her with the negatives given to her father and the strange caption under the nude photo of her as a toddler on a bed which reads "one of the many photos taken on the bed that day". A picture of her father wearing a hat with horns and holding a teddy bear. I can go on and on because she has left many clues in this book, including the fact that she has Multiple Personality Disorder and we know how she got that way. The puppy story confirms that for me. I believe Kristina, the person who wrote this book, is one of many of Heidi's personalities. She skillfully lays her truth between the lines, hidden in plain sight.

Is Kristina screaming to the world that she is a victim of multi-generational MK Ultra programming which is so prevalent in Hollywood? Mary Martin's second husband sounds more like her handler than her loving husband. And my guess would be that Kristina's father was a victim of this very programming as well.

The more I read about these child stars and children of Hollywood celebrities, the less shocked I am about the dark side of Hollywood and what is hidden there.

This book contained a continual hook or "gimmick" as some reviewers call it, intended for those whose eyes are wide shut. The pursuit of why Kristina's father on his death bed would beg her forgiveness. A nice pat answer she provides for them. Case closed. For the rest of us, the answer is the trail of breadcrumbs she has left for us which leads us to the ugly truth about two Hollywood icons and a powerless kid.

Kristina has nothing to be ashamed of and hopefully writing this book will be a cathartic milestone for her.

[SundayAtDusk · Rating 3 out of 5]

This memoir has a gimmick where the author is trying to figure out why her father was asking for forgiveness on his death bed. I call it a gimmick because that is exactly what it is. Kristina Hagman keeps bringing it up throughout the book like a running mystery, reminiscent of "who shot J.R.?" By the end of the story, Ms. Hagman believes she has figured it all out, and tells her father at the very end that he is "a very good boy", which brings him peace at last. Only, he wasn't a boy. He was a grown man treated like a little boy by his wife, and often his daughter, catered to constantly, always getting his way. It was his way or the highway. Not an uncommon way to be for a delusional lifelong pothead and alcoholic. And like many addicts who do not want to deal with the reality of their addictions, Larry Hagman wanted everyone to be drugging or drinking, including his own children and mother.

This is not to say Mr. Hagman had no redeeming qualities, and I ended up liking Kristina Hagman; but this is still a story of a man who was hurt by childhood situations, where everyone who wanted to stay around him had to constantly pay for that childhood suffering. Also, the fact her father was famous, as well as "loved" by so many fans and friends, seemed to make Ms. Hagman reluctant to hold him truly responsible for his words and actions; possibly for fear of the wrath of those fans and friends, similar to how she feared her father's wrath; or possibly because her mother rarely did so, and she was just following her example. Nevertheless, an interesting read that may or may not offend Larry Hagman fans, and definitely won't offend potheads or "free spirits".

(Note: I received a free copy of this book from Amazon Vine in exchange for an honest review.)

[David Allwood · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Eternal Party’ by Kristina Hagman is an awful memoir. Firstly, by telling the history of her relationship with her dad, actor Larry Hagman, she inadvertently describes him as a cruel, selfish father who neglected his children and constantly cheated on his wife while moving through life in an obnoxious fog of alcoholism and heavy drug usage. Secondly, anyone reading this book would presumably be interested in the roles that Larry Hagman became famous for - Captain Tony Nelson in, ‘I Dream of Jeannie’, and of course, as J.R. Ewing in ‘Dallas’. The actors roles in these shows are barely mentioned in the book and the shows are largely ignored. Without featuring these shows and their impact on her father, Kristina Hagman is just another nepo baby with a life story no more interesting than anyone else. Thirdly, the book is poorly written. Overly simplistic and frustratingly sentimental, the author actually apologises on more than one occasion for her poor writing. Then why write a book? Finally, there is nothing eternal about this book, and reading it is anything but a party.

[W. Frazier · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kristina Hagman, daughter of Larry Hagman (Dallas and I Dream of Jeannie) and granddaughter of Mary Martin (Peter Pan) writes about her crazy childhood and seems eager to put some order to the craziness. Her life appears to ping pong between extremes. The book reflects this chaos. It channels events in no particular order and seems to organize them with one message and then another. There are flashes of insight but never a solid takeaway. The writing doesn't deliver, but you hope the author has found some personal clarity.

[D · Rating 2 out of 5]

Repetitive, overly simplistic, pedestrian at best.

[ABCD · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting read from an interesting perspective.

This book doesn't paint Larry Hagman as only being the man he showed the world, it provides a much more personal insight into the man he was besides that public face. Being a friend of Larry's was probably a lot of fun, but that's a chosen position, Kristina's book tells the story of the life she lived and the normalcy she craved.

I think reading this is worthwhile if you're looking for another perspective on the man that was Larry Hagman, but if you only want to hear the good and believe he was exactly the man he played on screen in interviews, then maybe skip this one and read Larry's book instead.

[Koren · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had mixed feelings about this book. Written by a daughter about her famous family, it seemed like they put the fun in dysfunction. For all Larry Hagman's faults, his daughter loves her family and all their quirky ways. I thought she over-thought her dad's dying words and made too much of a big deal about it, making it look like the whole book was an exploration of the meaning behind the words. I thought this was more of a 'first we did this and then we did that' and a 'look who I know' type of bio. If you like Larry Hagman you will likely like this book.

[Mick Meyers · Rating 4 out of 5]

An abject lesson in how not to be a parent.i was surprised Kristina turned out as Normal and level headed with a complete sense loyalty and love for her parents.drinking and drug taking to alter the perception of reality is a no go but to introduce your daughter to it goes beyond understanding.read warning against these things.you would have thought that money and fame where enough of an aphrodisiac but alas not.

[Lyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

A unique love story of Father and Daughter. The behind the scenes story of Larry Hagman was a little bit of history and a lot of spicy gossip. Written with honor and dignity, there are no apologies for the drugs and other mischief. Enjoy! NetGalley and Thomas Dunne Books provided an advanced review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

[Tisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love the honesty given in this autobiography by Kristina
Hagman. It's so powerful. I relate to many of the traumas that occurred in her life. Emotionally, physically. The facets of her contemptuous relationship with her father. It hit me like a brick with recards to the chaotic relationship with my daddy. Or lack of relationship.

[Sarah Logan-Reynolds · Rating 1 out of 5]

Spoiled rich girl publicly trashing her famous family for money....👎

[Vicki Farrow Wisely · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly written without any sugar coating.

[Rhonda · Rating 4 out of 5]

V sad and tragic and i hope she got closure from this heart rending dive into the unanswerable

[Linda Smatzny · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unusual bringing up of the author . She tells stories about her family especially her father.

[Johnny Marthaler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Found the book for a dollar, read other biographies for Larry Hagman. This seems, so far , diffrent than the last one.

[Beth Rodgers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kristina Hagman shares a daughter's perspective on her father, actor Larry Hagman, in 'The Eternal Party,' a telling and no holds barred memoir of the dysfunction and addiction that plagued his life. Larry Hagman, of I Dream of Jeannie and Dallas fame, and son of Broadway star Mary Martin, is painted in a different light than many might know him in, in Kristina's truth telling of her life as it overlapped with his.

The beginning of the memoir has Kristina questioning her father's desire to be forgiven as he lay dying. The remainder of the book searches the various aspects of his life for which she considers forgiveness might have been sought. From his relationship with his mother and stepfather, to his life with his wife and children, on to the image he portrayed to the outside world versus that which he lived in reality, Kristina calls everything into question. She shares how life as the daughter of a TV star shaped who she spent time with, how she spent her life, and the person she became as a result of it all.

Hagman's storytelling cuts to the core of who her father really was and how his life was so influential on her own. He lived a very bohemian lifestyle with his family, changing, and possibly even shattering, the image of the person who readers might think he was based on knowing him from his television shows and movies.

Life with various celebrities and family members is outlined, including how her father drank, used marijuana, had liaisons with other women, and constantly worried about having enough money. This memoir does a nice job of showcasing her father, Larry Hagman, as an "everyman," while at the same time making it abundantly clear that he was anything but that. His life was filled with extravagances beyond what ordinary people can imagine, yet he was a man of the people who often did not even know how to live his own life well. His ordinariness in spite of his celebrity makes for an interesting story for his daughter to share.

For readers who are looking for more about Larry Hagman's life in theater, film, and television, it would be wise to check out his autobiography, 'Hello Darlin',' as it showcases those ideas so much more than in this memoir. Anyone expecting more along these lines may be disappointed, but the stories that come from Kristina Hagman's memories serve as great fodder for those who are eager to learn more about the different facets of Larry Hagman's life.

Note: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

Beth Rodgers, Author of 'Freshman Fourteen,' A Young Adult Novel

[Jo-Ann Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was thrilled to be asked by the publisher to review this book. Kristina Hagman has written a love letter to her parents that does not sugar coat the dysfunction, pain and bad parenting decisions they made. She shows that you can have a loving devoted family even when things are not perfect because the adults are addicted and often self-absorbed. It is well written and I found it hard to put down though it can sometimes be hard to feel her pain as she has the courage to speak her own truth.

As many children do when they lose a parent, she goes on a journey to discover who her father was as a person and looks at the events that molded him. She learns he was a man damaged by the events of his early childhood who carried many of those effects to the day he died and often felt driven to inflict his own damage on those around him.

She went on a search to discover one reason why he was asking forgiveness on his deathbed. She looks at the reasons from his perspective and dismisses many until she feels she finally has the one reason. I believe that when you are dying you often have a different perspective and he may have been and should have been asking forgiveness not only for all the things she dismissed but for other things that she did not seem to consider.

Her words paint a vivid picture of fascinating lives. We are approximately the same age and when she described her yearly shopping trips to purchase Easter outfits with the white gloves and patent leather shoes, I was immediately transported to my own childhood Easter shopping trips for similar new outfits.

Having read her father’s autobiography and having had the honor of meeting him once for a short conversation, I was especially interested to hear his daughter’s view of the life he led. As I suspected, his children were deeply loved but lived in insecurity and chaos and often had to become the caretakers while the world got seemed to get the best part of their father. They needed to find their own way in the world and sometimes struggle for survival in a family of strong egos.
I could feel her pain as she was often ostracized because her father was so unconventional. However, she found her own way to develop meaningful friendships.

Despite the unconventional upbringing, Kristina Hagman managed to develop her own career, appreciate the love she shared with her parents and become a loving parent herself. I found this book inspirational as she acknowledged the hard times and the periodic alienation from her family while celebrating the love they shared.

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kristina Hagman offers a healtfelt look at Larry Hagman's life with little apology or acceptance of moments of betrayal. Instead the story of a hard life full of highs and lows, extravagance and cruelty, and abandonment and fear fill the pages. Unlike a biography, there are no areas with careful deliberation. What Kristina illustrates with careful deliberation is a life full of painful triumphs, not only her famous father and grandmother, but her own. Readers sit in the middle of a family discussion without feeling intrusive.

The world may have known Hagman as Major Nelson or J.R. Ewing, but the complicated lines of bonding show more of a complete man. Adultery, drug use, and an aversion to therapy weave a narrative where characters the public knows show up in real life. Even as a close family, there were many hidden parts to the actor and Kristina takes the time to pull every string.

I wish there had been more about her mother, however. Maj, a fearless Swede who conquered loan sharks and Hollywood alike, felt incomplete. And without complete picture, some of Larry's actions didn't feel entirely explained. I wanted to know more about what inspired a woman to move from London to California over decades. And why she loved her husband so fiercely.

It's clear that Kristina is a mashup of her parents while facing the actions of an addict parent. A repeat of history where she chose to break the cycle. Heartbreak seemed to be a calling card in her early years, but the love of family seemed to balance as she grew into the determined artist. She made her own legacy while living in her family's.

This is a book for people who want to know more about Hollywood, the underside of life in the public eye. Not everything is good. Some incidents made me teary-eyed but you learn to believe in the power of dreams. And acceptance. You also learn what friendship is really like among the elite.

[Lissa00 · Rating 3 out of 5]

As actor, Larry Hagman, lay dying he whispered the words "please, forgive me." The words provide the focus of this book as his daughter looks back over his life to try and discover what, exactly, he wanted to be forgiven for. Considering the context, it is accurate to assume that Hagman is not always portrayed in the best light throughout the book. He drinks constantly, uses drugs frequently and has several affairs. His both a charismatic and difficult parent and his daughter struggles with conveying his devotion to family with his hard partying lifestyle. This is definitely an entertaining book, especially if you are familiar with Hagman's Dallas persona. It is not really great writing and I felt a little guilty reading this so shortly after his death (which makes me wonder why his daughter felt comfortable writing all of this down.). The author never really discovers what her act her father wanted forgiven but it was certainly interesting reading about his options. I received this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Debra Lucas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book through a Goodreads Giveaway. The Eternal Party: Understanding My Dad, Larry Hagman, the TV Star America Loved to Hate, was co-authored by his daughter, Kristina Hagman. This is an insightful, somewhat humorous, and often sad Memoir. I never realized that the life Hagman lived was so undisciplined! We all knew the characters he played on I Dream of Jeannie, and of course JR, of Dallas fame. But who was he when he was off camera? This Memoir attempts to answer that question. Larry Hagman had many real life roles: son of Star Mary Martin, TV Star, friend of many, lifelong funnyman, husband of Maj, father of Kristina and Preston, and grandfather. Kristina spent her whole life trying to know and understand the man her Father really was. Did she ever get there, though? This is an intense and emotional Memoir to read, but I am so glad I did!!

[Loraine Despres · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kristina Hagman has written a love letter to her famous, high spirited, and often stoned father. I couldn't put the book down. Spoiler alert, I wrote the 'WHO DONE IT?" episode of Dallas, the one where the world discovered "WHO SHOT JR?" as well as other episodes and met Larry on the set, where he was unfailingly kind, funny, and a consummate professional. So I was astonished to learn from the book that he was usually high. The first day of shooting he showed up with a pair of saddlebags over his shoulder filled with champagne. For Larry, life was a party. This is a show business biography of a fascinating, fun-loving, complicated man and a loving, but often difficult, father. It's not to be missed.

[Rosie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Goodreads winner. "The Eternal Party" is a candid remembrance and recollection of Larry Hagman by his daughter. Much more than a biography of a famous actor this memoir is a dysfunctional family's story.

[Cheryl Marusiak · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was about growing up with a famous father and grandmother, Mary Martin and his flamboyant hippie lifestyle. His battle with alcohol and experimental drug use.

[Dana Murphy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Shame on you, Kristina Hagman.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

The subject was interesting because I have a hard time imagining anyone living such a crazy life but I wish the story was more streamlined. I kind of understand why she wrote it like she did but it was just too segmented for me. The story bounced around a lot and the chapters didn't connect well.