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The Truth About Rape: emotional, spiritual, physical, and sexual recovery from rape
My book, The Truth About Rape changes the way you view yourself, your approach to your recovery, and helps you make positive choices for lifelong change.What are the real "truths" about rape? That you needn't continue to suffer month after month - year after year. That there are others you can learn from who have been on their own path to recovery, and who are eager to share their mistakes, and their triumphs, with you. Begin living the life you were meant to live, today! Rape Survivors Share Their Heartfelt Recovery SecretsWhat if I told you I can help you develop the ability to foresee and control the triggers that cause you anxiety? Imagine feeling as if you're not alone and isolated anymore, living a life without shame and guilt. Knowing where, and how, to find inspiration and motivation as you recover. Imagine an end to your struggles and frustration and experience clarity of mind and the ability to focus even more acutely than you did prior to your rape.I promise you one thing about The Truth About You won't feel alone. I interviewed over 40 women who share with you their obstacles in recovery and teach you new ways to approach your recovery; ways that will radically change the way you feel about yourself.You'll feel as if you're having a discreet conversation with trusted friends in these women and send your recovery soaring. Like Eleanor, 33, who talks about her own experience with a cutting-edge therapy that you've likely heard much about lately.Or gain insight from hearing how Kate, 44, struggled with and found her own answer to one of the most confusing for rape "How could God let this happen to me?"
- GenresNonfictionSelf Help
348 pages, Paperback
First published March 21, 2002
5 people are currently reading
42 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
September 3, 2024
Read this for work and for personal healing and I feel so seen. Can’t give it five stars because it’s too heteronormative for me.
May 30, 2017
If you want to judge whether you should read this book or not, then take a long look at the cover and decide if it resonates with you. If you’ve no idea what it means then stay away. (Unless someone who is close to you has been raped and you’re struggling to understand what they’re going through, then this book is also for you). I note that in the US, some of the reviews on Amazon complain about the book cover, but personally I think it speaks volumes though I understand it might have a distressing 'trigger' effect on some women who have gone through trauma.
Be prepared for the fact that the first part of the book is a personal testimony by the author of the horrific trauma that she was put through as a young nineteen year old, with detailed notes from her diary as she goes through counselling many years later. The latter part of the book is a clearly set out question and answer guide dealing with such questions as have I been raped? What constitutes rape? What are the symptoms of PTSD? Who can help me? etc, so I guess you could start there if you feel too fragile to hear about someone else’s pain.
And ‘pain’ is too minor a word for it. The author herself was subjected to a horrific 14 hour ordeal, held captive, and tortured in the most extreme and appallingly sadistic way possible (short of what happens in war), and if she hadn’t managed to escape she certainly would have died. During the three hours it took me to read through it, I could barely breathe. And like most rape victims she put the blame on herself, trying to reason that she must have caused it - by what she was wearing or from some innate badness. Human beings seem to need a certain level of predictability in life – they need to be able to control their environment to feel safe – they need to feel there is a reason for something, because if they can work out the reason for it, they can do something about it – affect the outcome. It is hard for a victim of rape to cope with the fact that they were picked at random from the street just because they happened to be there at the wrong moment. Perverse though it seems, if they can find some reason for being in receipt of the abuse based in their own behaviour then they feel they have more power to stop it ever happening again. But for the author, who had managed to stuff it all down for years, another random event cracked open all her defences. She was violently raped AGAIN. And it was completely random AGAIN. By a complete stranger IN HER OWN HOME while her husband was at work. I remember as a child, the most terrifying thing I ever saw was a vampire movie where the young woman, lying in her own marital bed, tries to shake her young husband awake to save her from the vampire that has just flown in, and the husband is in ‘magical’ sleep engendered by the vampire and won’t wake and the vampire gets her. That’s like how this must feel. How can you ever feel safe again? None of the ‘precautions’ you’ve been taken ever since the rape (like making yourself fat and trying to never to look too attractive, and not going out alone etc) have worked. All those carefully built walls are bust open and as the psyche tries to regain some control over its environment, it resorts to agoraphobia, obsessive compulsive checking, terrible nightmares, flashbacks, and extreme anxiety. PTSD symptoms. That’s when the author, already in the middle of doing a degree in counselling, knew she needed to seek professional help for herself. You probably need to know, before you start this book, that after three years of counselling and a lot of painful emotional work, she now feels completely healed and has dedicated her life to helping other victims of rape and abuse to come into a place of healing. She even promises to reply in person if you email her, so you won’t feel so alone as you read her book. Now that’s a big commitment. That’s someone really dedicated to doing for someone else, what wasn’t done for her earlier in her life. So I reckon you’re safe to try reading through this book if you feel you need to.
Be prepared for the fact that the first part of the book is a personal testimony by the author of the horrific trauma that she was put through as a young nineteen year old, with detailed notes from her diary as she goes through counselling many years later. The latter part of the book is a clearly set out question and answer guide dealing with such questions as have I been raped? What constitutes rape? What are the symptoms of PTSD? Who can help me? etc, so I guess you could start there if you feel too fragile to hear about someone else’s pain.
And ‘pain’ is too minor a word for it. The author herself was subjected to a horrific 14 hour ordeal, held captive, and tortured in the most extreme and appallingly sadistic way possible (short of what happens in war), and if she hadn’t managed to escape she certainly would have died. During the three hours it took me to read through it, I could barely breathe. And like most rape victims she put the blame on herself, trying to reason that she must have caused it - by what she was wearing or from some innate badness. Human beings seem to need a certain level of predictability in life – they need to be able to control their environment to feel safe – they need to feel there is a reason for something, because if they can work out the reason for it, they can do something about it – affect the outcome. It is hard for a victim of rape to cope with the fact that they were picked at random from the street just because they happened to be there at the wrong moment. Perverse though it seems, if they can find some reason for being in receipt of the abuse based in their own behaviour then they feel they have more power to stop it ever happening again. But for the author, who had managed to stuff it all down for years, another random event cracked open all her defences. She was violently raped AGAIN. And it was completely random AGAIN. By a complete stranger IN HER OWN HOME while her husband was at work. I remember as a child, the most terrifying thing I ever saw was a vampire movie where the young woman, lying in her own marital bed, tries to shake her young husband awake to save her from the vampire that has just flown in, and the husband is in ‘magical’ sleep engendered by the vampire and won’t wake and the vampire gets her. That’s like how this must feel. How can you ever feel safe again? None of the ‘precautions’ you’ve been taken ever since the rape (like making yourself fat and trying to never to look too attractive, and not going out alone etc) have worked. All those carefully built walls are bust open and as the psyche tries to regain some control over its environment, it resorts to agoraphobia, obsessive compulsive checking, terrible nightmares, flashbacks, and extreme anxiety. PTSD symptoms. That’s when the author, already in the middle of doing a degree in counselling, knew she needed to seek professional help for herself. You probably need to know, before you start this book, that after three years of counselling and a lot of painful emotional work, she now feels completely healed and has dedicated her life to helping other victims of rape and abuse to come into a place of healing. She even promises to reply in person if you email her, so you won’t feel so alone as you read her book. Now that’s a big commitment. That’s someone really dedicated to doing for someone else, what wasn’t done for her earlier in her life. So I reckon you’re safe to try reading through this book if you feel you need to.
December 24, 2024
I appreciate a lot that the author has to offer & brought amazing advice forward that I will use in the future.
Unfortunately this book does not acknowledge male victims or female rapists; only focusing on the common female victim & male rapist without admitting that men can be taken advantage of or that women could be perpetrators too. As a rape victim (who happens to be a man), this book sometimes gives backhanded comments or sentences that remind me of those arguments that "men cannot be raped" or "women are the only ones who suffer from this, no one else understands this but women". I struggled to read through some of the sections as it felt like I did not count as a victim solely because of who I am and that my experiences are not valid.
Books like these are necessary and I am glad it was made & I have a copy, but inclusive language would have gone a long way.
Unfortunately this book does not acknowledge male victims or female rapists; only focusing on the common female victim & male rapist without admitting that men can be taken advantage of or that women could be perpetrators too. As a rape victim (who happens to be a man), this book sometimes gives backhanded comments or sentences that remind me of those arguments that "men cannot be raped" or "women are the only ones who suffer from this, no one else understands this but women". I struggled to read through some of the sections as it felt like I did not count as a victim solely because of who I am and that my experiences are not valid.
Books like these are necessary and I am glad it was made & I have a copy, but inclusive language would have gone a long way.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews