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288 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2015

Actual rating: 3.4Dear Book,
I don't know what to think of you. Were you good? Should I recommend you to my friends? What happened with you in the last 30% that you became so rushed and left me with the hollow feeling of incompleteness? Did you get tired of me and my excitement? Please, Book, give me a reason to understand you, so I could stop hurting after finishing you and could get on with my life.
Sincerely yours,
Nastassja
I think this book is my punishment for loosing faith in NA genre. I was absolutely frivolous picking it up and thinking I am going to flirt with it a little before going to sleep. I was SURE I wouldn't like it at all and was eager to prove my point. But, vice versa, this book proved its point to me and kicked me hard in the... um, on my brain. I started reading it and couldn't go to sleep till morning light filtered through my curtains and my eyes were closing on their own volition. So not fare! I was only 50% into the book!
This is a story of a young girl Nina (19 years old), who lives with an alcoholic mother and little sister. She has to care about them both, so no personal life or free time of her own - only survival. Nina finds herself in a desperate position and asks for help from an old employer and a friend of her deceased father. And soon she is plunged into the world of rich, wicked and unprincipled Alexander Noble and some old family secrets will emerge on surface. From that point, I am sorry for the fan girl twittering I am going to dose this review with.
Alexander Noble (22 years old). Meet one of the most unprincipled, manipulative, unreliable, reckless heroes I've ever met.
When people around are telling him that he acts like a total bastard, he intentionally starts to behave worse to prove them right. ‘Sometimes it’s worse. He tends to go off the rails when someone has a go at him. Like he thinks – well, if they have such a low opinion of me, then there’s no point trying to prove them wrong.’
That what I call devil-may-care attitude.
Of course, he is panties melting handsome:He was maybe in his early twenties, and he had that aristocratic look about him – with chin-length, dishevelled black hair falling across a perfectly symmetrical face. The high cheekbones, straight nose and porcelain skin might have seemed almost effeminate if he hadn’t had a spattering of designer stubble across his chiselled jawline, giving a bad-boy roughness to his looks.
For a second, all I could see was his eyes – they were the palest shade of ice-blue I’d ever seen, and watchful and predatory, like a wolf’s. There was something almost unnatural about them. He looked me over with what seemed to be cool disinterest.
Everywhere he goes, he is looking as though he owns the place and attention of every woman around. I think it is also has to do with his peculiar taste in clothes:But it wasn’t just his size that made him stand out. In black fitted trousers, a white pirate shirt and burgundy-velvet jacket, he had that flamboyant look of the Romantic era.
He likes to live on edge and to taste danger and risk:He was jaded and dangerous, someone who lived on the edge.
Also he likes to indulge in alcohol and some recreational pharmaceuticals (his words) - cocaine to be exact:I wondered for a second what he was doing there. Then, as if to answer my question, he bent over, his silky dark hair falling across his face, and snorted a line of coke.
‘So just because I’ve been known to have a drink or indulge in some recreational pharmaceuticals, you assume I’m out driving around drunk or coked out of my brain? That’s quite a leap.’
Not so far from the truth, though.
He actually treats all women like one-night stands:‘She won’t say anything. Tori knows the score. She knows I’m not a one-woman man.’ He took a step towards me. ‘In fact, say the word and I’m happy to ditch her.’
As you can see he is the worst kind a girl can fall for.
But you know what? Fuck logic! I love that bastard! If I were to compare him with other fictional bad boys, I'd say Alexander is a hybrid of Nikolai (The Grisha Trilogy), Morpheus (Splintered), Baldair (Air Awakens), Warner (Shatter Me). I think that is a big enough list for you to have a mental picture.
Now, we have a book and there's a relationship between MCs, and logically I have to describe what kind of relations you can expect from this book. Nina and Alexander are complicated together. I know, characters are always complicated in a book, but in this one, I had to admit, I feel kind of respect toward Nina for not giving in to Alex and having her head on her shoulders most of the time.Alex might not be an alcoholic, but he was wild and unpredictable – everything I wanted to avoid. I hated looking after my mother, and I wasn’t about to trade one co-dependent relationship for another.
And trust me, it was not an easy task to accomplish with Alex constantly provoking Nina:But then he seemed to be moving closer, his hand reaching out behind me. It took me a split second to realise that he was trying to grab my bottom.
That was too much. Instinctively I took a step back, trying to put some distance between us.
‘What the hell are you doing?’
I’d assumed my outraged tone would shame him, but he looked unperturbed . He cocked his head to one side, studying me through heavily lidded eyes. ‘What exactly do you think I was doing?’
In fact, if you are wondering, he wasn't going to grab her bottom (not yet at least).
Pushing Nina's buttons is one of his mind games. He doesn't really care for her, but wants to get closer to her, so subsequently he could hurt someone else. And that, my dears, is the worst kind of manipulation. I really thought that he likes her a lot because of her, but time and again he manipulated poor girl, and when she again withstand against his onslaught, he hurt her more by taking another female to his room in front of Nina or having a party and making out with a few females in front of her. It was his way of saying: If you don't want me darling, it's ok, there are plenty of women who does.
I hate him for that.
But however long Nina and Alex play hate/love dance, it is always intense, bordering on a fringe of derailing and either having a favorable outcome or turning into a total disaster. ‘Yeah, well, that’s easy for you to say. You’ve never had to worry about anything apart from enjoying yourself. Don’t judge me when you have no idea what my life is like.’
‘Fair enough, I won’t.’ He waited a beat. ‘As long as you do me the same courtesy.’
I believe they are one of the most intense couples I read about. With that, he grabbed me by the shoulders, backed me up against the wall and kissed me.
I felt the urgency of his mouth on mine, the hard weight of his body pushing against me. His hands moved from my shoulders to my face, pulling me closer as his kiss deepened.
The music and noise from inside felt so far away as Alex’s lips dropped to my neck and he ran the tip of his tongue along my collarbone.
I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a moan, deep in the back of my throat.
I was glad this book doesn't have such words like "cock" or "cunt" or ever-present "pussy". There's also no explicit sex scenes. This book concentrates mostly on relationship between characters and how they see each other, though we have only Nina's POV, but we see how Alex expresses himself through Nina's eyes. Of course, Alex is not that bad and he cares for Nina; of course, he'll try to be better for her and blah blah blah. All that is good and important in a relationship.
BUT, If all was so smooth, why did I give this book three and a half stars? First of all, because of my little experiment with eye rolling every time I noticed a cliche. I counted 25 eye rolls, and it is not much compared to lots of other NA book I've read, but, still, it is enough to remove a star from the book. And secondary, because of the last 30%. They were erratic, rushed, incomplete and did give me a total heartbreak. The ending turned out too cliched, too simple and embellished. I expected much more from such a complex hero like Alex. I expected a different ending - the one without a happy outcome. I understand that this is a romance story and we need HEA in books, but you saw what Alex is like, and even if he tries or changes to some extant, will it be enough? I think no. And when you create such a multi-layered relationship between MCs, you can't just resolve the issues as if by magic (example of a great ending Innocents). If you create realistic characters, then create an realistic final for them. And in the case of this book, it wasn't meant to be a happy one. It would've been more realistic for Alex to stay alone in the end, because in real life such complex, self distinctive, conflicted people do not change abruptly, not even for love.
For once, I wanted to act without thinking- to just go for what I wanted, even if it wasn't good for me.
"I know I made mistakes in the past, and perhaps they're too big for you to ever forgive me. But I'm trying to change, Nina. I want to change-for you."
"I knew in that moment that, whatever was between us, there was no turning back from it now."
I felt a prickle of trepidation
It was too late to turn back now
I'd grown up on one of the roughest estates in London but somehow being among the rich and entitled felt more dangerous than anything I'd ever experienced.
