Out of Time: Midlife, If You Still Think You're Young

by Miranda Sawyer

Out of Time

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Personal Development, Audiobook

262 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2016

About the author

Miranda Sawyer is an English journalist and broadcaster. She has a degree in Jurisprudence at Pembroke College, Oxford. She moved to London in 1988 to begin her career as a journalist on the magazine Smash Hits.

In 1993, she became the youngest winner of the Periodical Publishers Association Magazine Writer of the Year award for her work on Select magazine. She formerly wrote columns for Time Out (1993–96) and The Mirror (2000-3), and was a frequent contributor to Mixmag and The Face during the 1990s. She is now a feature writer for The Observer and its radio critic. Her writing appears in GQ, Vogue and The Guardian and she is a regular arts critic in print, on television and on radio. She was a member of the judging panel for the 2007 Turner Prize and the panel that awarded Liverpool its Capital of Culture status.

In 2004, Sawyer wrote, researched and presented an hour-long documentary for Channel 4 about the age of consent entitled, Sex Before 16: How the Law Is Failing. In 2006, she made a highly personal documentary for More 4 on abortion rights in the US, A Matter of Life and Death, as part of its Travels With My Camera strand.

Her first book Park and Ride, a travel book on the Great British suburbs, was published by Little, Brown in 1999.

She is also an occasional guest on the UK arts programme Newsnight Review on BBC2, The Culture Show (BBC 2) and also BBC Radio 2's Radcliffe and Maconie Show.

Reviews

[Kim Plowright · Rating 4 out of 5]

So yeah it turns out I’m having a mid life crisis. Smart, funny and honest book about mid-life: how being in your 40s makes you question your assumptions about your life. Contains wisdom and excellent jokes.

[Joe O'Donnell · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Out of Time” is arts journalist Miranda Sawyer’s examination of the modern midlife crisis – that feeling when you wake up in your 40s and wonder where the first half of your life went. It is about the changing nature of life, money, health, sex and death as Generation X tries to navigate middle age, supposedly having had to put away the childish things of their decadent, carefree 20s and 30s. “Out of Time” is about how we deal with the realisation of middle age – with “the fear – of everything you have become, and everything you will not”. As Sawyer drily notes, this attempt to get to grips with the passing of one’s youth frequently results in buying an expensive bike and kitting yourself out in lycra (if you’re a midlife crisis man), or having an affair with a personal trainer 20 years younger than you (if you’re a midlife crisis woman).

I can see why some readers might find Sawyer’s frequent harking back to her globetrotting, hedonistic 20s irritating and a little ‘too cool for school’. Yet, she is a humane and self-deprecating writer, all too aware of the absurdity of what it is essentially a ‘first world problem’ (i.e. middle class gripping about reaching middle age). And, for somebody like myself who is currently staring down the barrel of 40, I found “Out of Time” reassuring and calming about how it is still possible to reinvent yourself long after the last traces of your youth are receding in the rear-view mirror.

[Tatiana Shorokhova · Rating 5 out of 5]

Колумнистка Observer и Guardian размышляет о плюсах и минусах среднего возраста и о кризисе, который приходит с ним. Есть много автобиографических моментов, что придает книге определенную точку зрения (белая женщина, креативная, фрилансерка, замужем, с детьми). Конечно, есть вещи, которые живут вне страны Миранды — здоровье, секс, музыка, работа, — все это касается любых Иксеров, но есть, конечно, нюансы. Надо будет написать отдельно про все это.

[Sarah Carr · Rating 3 out of 5]

She captures very concisely the angst associated with middle age and mortality, but certain chapters in the middle just felt like fillers with no real relevance of purpose.

[Carolyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Back in the late 80s, Wednesdays were special. Every other Wednesday, a new edition of Smash Hits came out and I'd run to the shop with my pocket money, to pick up the funniest, cleverest, poppiest magazine there has ever been.

Along with Sylvia Patterson, Miranda Sawyer was one of my favourite - sorry, fave - Smash Hits journos. She understood the effervescent joy of pop, but I knew she was still a Grown Up, because she had a Job, even though that Job was writing about Pop. So it's a shock to discover that she's actually only a few years older than me. And she's written a book about being middle-aged. There is a possibility that this means I, too, am middle-aged, but that's too horrifying to contemplate so let's skate over it.

I went to hear Miranda read from at Aye Write a few months ago and she was as sensible and self-deprecating as I expected, but it's clear that this book is born of genuine distress. Miranda's had the realisation that comes to us all when we hit forty that we are halfway through our lives and our best days may be behind us. She didn't buy a sports car or run off with a twenty year old: instead she wrote this book, about life and death and ways of finding meaning. And I enjoyed it, though she doesn't hold back on the negative aspects of getting older. Best not to read it till you're out the side of your own mid-life crisis. Thumbs aloft!

[DJ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Whilst this wasn't quite the book I was expecting, there were glimmers of what led me to it.
Other people who have read it seem to find the anecdotes of the Authors youth annoying and prefered the second half - not I! I loved the first half of this book the " guts and the glory ", although possibly it resonates better with someone who flew the Parental coop at 17! My Birthday Gift to my Parents was not to announce that I had recieved my Provisional Driving Licence in the Post but to ask what of my Bedroom furniture I could take with me when I left in 3 weeks...
( all, including the carpet ).
The second half of the book was fractionally more basic than I expected but as I don't have ( human ) children - this may make life more flexible.
When I reached the end the Author says " remember what you loved to do when younger... 17, 19... and remember what you wanted to do...
Strangely, I have been thinking of this very thing... I've joined a local action group and decided to go back to Art after an unforseen change in my employment status.
It's less scary to stand up for others and our community than gut my studio to start work - this I could fail at, have I left it to late... oh, a bag of mini tulips - it's dry out I may just go and plant thise up and check the fences...
I need to plunge back to me... has this book helped?
Ask me in a year.

[Shirley Hallam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks for this book, I found it comforting. I don’t identify with MS all that much, my life has been much more risk averse. But I like her direct voice, and found the ideas interesting- I also liked how she shared her own explorations and uncertainties.

Best of all, it has made me feel OK about not keeping a diary. I’ve travelled a lot, and I’ve forgotten a lot. I have felt guilty about not keeping a diary - or starting and giving up so many times. But I’m not going to worry about that anymore. Instead I’m going to write letters (real ones, with a pen) from time to time, and send more birthday cards - at least one other person will read them.

[Phil Greaney · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this quickly, and on a whim, since I learned that 'The Face' magazine was making a return. So it was partly in search of nostalgia, partly because I, too, am of that age - later forties in my case - where one wonders where it all went, and where it all might go.

I looked up Sawyer on the net and when I saw her face, it all came flooding back. So I read her book, which is written in that familiar direct way, as if you were having a coffee together in the window of a plainly adorned modern cafe in the middle of the morning, rather than a midnight cocktail in the kind of 'chi chi' place she interviewed some of her more outrageous subjects, since it's not exuberant nor flashy, nor prone to hyperbole. And some of that old feeling came flooding back as she wrote about the music and the parties and the celebrities. But it's more about how we come to recognise ourselves as we age, and how we cannot and perhaps should not be as young as we once were, at least in quite the same way; but how we shouldn't go gently into what she quotes as 'the youth of old age'.

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished this, and how timely for me. Sawyer and I are exactly the same age, grew up in the UK and love music. There the similarities end - how I wish I’d become a music journalist, or a million other things that I didn’t do... but that’s the point. This age, it’s kind of about acceptance.

I enjoyed the first half of the book, hearing of her many adventures in the land of Britpop made me tingle with envy ( even seeing those epic bands was lost to me as by then I’d moved to Canada ) and the second half was quietly reflective.

I’m going to bookmark her chapter simply headed ‘music’ because in all of this meandering through mid life , that’s where the real understanding and commonality lies.

So glad I read this when I did.

[Mat Davies · Rating 4 out of 5]

Immensely readable, occasionally funny as hell, this is the sort of book that you will find yourself muttering away to yourself "yep, that's me", "oh God, I soooooo do that" and other similar phrases of self recognition. Sawyer is a terrific writer: humane, humble, smart but always warm and welcoming. Sawyer describes this as a non-self-help book but, to this reader, it's like having the best big sister and sensible mate around; the one that won't preach or provoke but will listen, observe and make it all right in the end. Lovely.

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I'm under 40 (I kept writing jokes here and then worried about the ironic ways they could turn on me).

I agree with other reviews of this book on this site as I too was annoyed about it - there was something about her regaling us with tales of her rock-chick youth that felt a bit humblebrag-y, privileged and annoying.

But stick with it - it get much better as she analyses the different ways we experience the different parts of growing older in the middle and then returns to the personal as she philosophises about what to do next towards the end.

[Amanda Watkin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was disappointed by this book. It says up front it isn't a self help book and yet that's what I wanted. The first chapter resonated and then every chapter after that, I asked myself, "What's the point of this book?" The final chapter does wrap it up but not with any dazzling insight - more a summary of generic lessons learnt. The writing sounds like the constant stream of thoughts in the author's head that have just been written down and then sorted into rough categories with some anecdotes to keep the interest of the reader. Probably well suited to people who enjoy biographies.

[Adam · Rating 3 out of 5]

An insightful think piece about being middle-aged, at the bottom of the u-bend of life and what ultimately should be important. This is not a self-help book so much as a review of one person's life having reached that middle period whereby death maths means you (probably) have less time before you than behind. As this is a personal account, not everything resonates, but it does enough to help all of those (like me) who spend a little too much time being introspective.

[Nrr · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is an easy read, and it makes some good points, although I could also have done without the 'I'm a cool indie chick', but then I'm a seriously uncool academic who spent her youth working hard. Although it's serious, it's clearly by a journalist: if you're looking for detailed philosophy, this isn't the place.

[Lottie Storey]

One of my favourite journalists writes a book on middle age - what could be more fitting? There was a lot in this book, beautifully written, and Miranda Sawyer is a funny, funny woman. So why did it leave me feeling so sad?

[Tronikyouth · Rating 4 out of 5]

great look on how the mdma generation move towards oap

[Richard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like a long chat with someone where you talk about everything and nothing.

[Alan Fricker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Altogether better than the Marcus Berkman equivalent. While Miranda Sawyer has had a fairly untypical run to middle age the perspectives she brings are welcome and useful

[Mali Perdeaux · Rating 4 out of 5]

Salve for the soul of indie pop kids who look up and find, to their astonishment, that apparently they're all grown up and wonder how it happened, and what the hell to do next...

[Gervy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Snippets of this were great, but most of it seemed disjointed and bitsy.

[Alan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, sad wise and warm. This book has welcome and unwelcome truths within.

[Joel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A reflection on life and death from the vantage point of middle age. Miranda is honest and searching for answers. I enjoyed the book.

[Canice Kenealy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full of insights, resonance, standing in the middle of infinite possibilities. Would recommend the audiobook read brilliantly by the author

[Rachel Radice · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like a fantastic conversation with a good friend who really gets you.

[M Huskisson]

witty apt and very relatable

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hated it to start with, thought it was self-indulgent as she went through her life as if she was famous and we were interested. I particularly didn't like the emphasis placed on her favourite music and the inference that people who listened to more 'mainstream' music were boring.

HOWEVER, as the book progressed her take on middle age was INVALUABLE and rang so true to what I'm experiencing.

[Keen Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have always enjoyed Miranda Sawyer’s work, whether it’s her review column in The Observer or her talking heads contributions in those retrospective music/cultural shows from the 80s and 90s, she has always seemed like someone who knows what she’s talking about and can communicate it without sounding like a self-important prat.

It’s exactly this down to earth and informed honesty that makes this book so very appealing. This book starts off from quite a dark and unsettling place, there’s a lot of soul searching her bold honesty is refreshing as it is disarming as she reflects on her life and dissects the meaning and substance behind the things in it. Sawyer brings a measured clarity and depth to her subject making it identifiable and profound.

She manages to cover so many varying aspects of middle age without exhausting them, a balance which is harder than it looks. She wheels out some amusing stories along the way too, like her bizarre encounter/proposition from Grace Jones to her inspiring tale of Wilko Johnson amongst many others.

This book is heartfelt and humorous, teeming with a whole load of compelling truths like, “If it wasn’t important, we wouldn’t be laughing about it.” She gives us plenty of facts and stats to mull over which range from the funny to the uncomfortable, like the apparent spikes in male suicide in the UK around early 20s and then again in early 40s. She quotes contemporary psychotherapist, Philippa Perry, “The Biggest mistake we make is to compare our inner selves with other people’s outer selves.” and Sawyer adds, “How we feel has nothing to do with how we appear.”

Sawyer states on a few occasions that this is not a self-help book and that’s fair enough but I found this very helpful and having read “When Breath Becomes Air” and Rilke’s “Letters To A Young Poet” recently (both heavily lauded by critics and fans alike) I have to say that I personally felt a far more meaningful connection with this book than both of those. This is easily one of my favourite books of 2016 and I highly recommend it to you.

[Katherine Semlyen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought this book having read a long article in the Observer, which was excerpts from the book, and it really resonated with me, being a similar age to the author and with some similar experiences when I was younger - travelling, clubbing etc. I like her writing style and she makes some very good observations about this phase of life (basically 40s) but I would say that it may not appeal to everyone because it is quite a specific take on things: she and her partner are both in creative professions, living in London, with small children, and the book does seem to presume that others have similar lifestyles. I can't imagine it having broad appeal because of this, beyond a certain target market.

Some of the references she makes to philosophies and subjects that she has researched are a bit frustratingly skimmed over, and are not really properly explained, e.g. Her reference to mindfulness (whilst I appreciate there are plenty of books on this subject!) does not, to me, actually show a real understanding of what it is about. There was an interesting reference to a psychotherapist in the chapter about death which I am going to follow up, so there are some good pointers for reading further on the subjects raised.

The name dropping gets a bit irritating - some anecdotes that aren't really at all relevant to the book but her meeting various celebrities and generally getting drunk with them, or ending up at a famous person's party. However, there is no arrogance in her tone and there is plenty of self-deprecation, so this is not as irritating as it could be. I also got her cultural references, being a similar age, but again this would only appeal to a certain reader.

I wonder if this is the book that will get her a patio?! (read the book to get that reference).

In summary, quite a light read that is worth a go if you have a similar set up at a similar stage to the author.

[Loods · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are some thought provoking moments in this book and it's worth read if you were into music in the 90's but by the end I was tired of Sawyer's huge ego.

I don't really believe there's any such thing as a mid-life crisis, seems like a load of self indulgent moaning to me.

The chapter on time is biggest load of piffle I've ever read so best skip that one.

Mostly rubbish!

[Matt Whittingham · Rating 4 out of 5]

An entertaining read, and some good sections on the perception of time, plus Miranda's observations on music. I wouldn't say this is necessarily going to help you get out of a mid life crisis, but it's interesting and comforting to read about other people experiences, and to put your own into perspective.