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What's the Number for 911?: America's Wackiest 911 Calls
911 "911, what's your emergency?" "What were the winning numbers for the Evening Pick Four today?"
Lauded as the "911 poster child" by Katie Couric, former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory takes us back to where the funny all began.
From presidential philosophizing and political pandering to foolish felons and office idiots, Leland Gregory generates side-splitting laughter by chronicling the worst of human nature. Gregory takes us back to where all the laughs began by updating his 911 cult classic with more than 150 new tales of bizarre but true 911 calls such
.911: "Do you know a good stain remover?"
.911 Person answered "no" to the "Are you conscious?"
.911 Man called and requested dispatcher call his wife to let her know he's on his way home and that she shouldn't yell at him.
Lauded as the "911 poster child" by Katie Couric, former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory takes us back to where the funny all began.
From presidential philosophizing and political pandering to foolish felons and office idiots, Leland Gregory generates side-splitting laughter by chronicling the worst of human nature. Gregory takes us back to where all the laughs began by updating his 911 cult classic with more than 150 new tales of bizarre but true 911 calls such
.911: "Do you know a good stain remover?"
.911 Person answered "no" to the "Are you conscious?"
.911 Man called and requested dispatcher call his wife to let her know he's on his way home and that she shouldn't yell at him.
256 pages, Paperback
First published March 15, 2000
74 people are currently reading
196 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
December 29, 2011
This was such a quick read I had it finished in about an hour.
It should have been titled "America's Dumbest 911 Callers" instead. I was shaking my head pitying the 911 callers whose precious and valuable time is taken up by idiots such as these. There were really only 2 stories (well stories is stretching it, most of these only fill about a quarter of a page). One was the two guys who both shot themselves with the same gun, one in the groin area, the other in the ass,he actually had something funny to say about that one, I had to read it three times and it had me in stitches each time. But then again maybe I was just hysterical cause I was stupid enough to read this crap. Guess there's worst ways to waste an hour. Or is there?
It should have been titled "America's Dumbest 911 Callers" instead. I was shaking my head pitying the 911 callers whose precious and valuable time is taken up by idiots such as these. There were really only 2 stories (well stories is stretching it, most of these only fill about a quarter of a page). One was the two guys who both shot themselves with the same gun, one in the groin area, the other in the ass,he actually had something funny to say about that one, I had to read it three times and it had me in stitches each time. But then again maybe I was just hysterical cause I was stupid enough to read this crap. Guess there's worst ways to waste an hour. Or is there?
October 25, 2011
I didn't find this book quite as funny as everyone else. I thought there were a fair number of legitimate calls, strange though they were, and the rest really irritated me -- the thought of someone tying up a 911 line like that! I was especially embarassed to read about the mayor of Scottsdale, Arizona using 911 so many times because she was lost. It makes me hesitant to admit that Scottsdale is only just up the road from me. Eeep!
June 25, 2014
It's crazy to think about why some people call 9-1-1! Really, you are calling 9-1-1 to complain about the inability of some fast food joint to make your hamburger according to how you want it! A few stories include valid reasons for calling 9-1-1, but most of the stories in the book are absurd. And, that, I suppose it the reason for writing the book in the first place. While it was a bit entertaining, I won't be spending any more time reading the other 9-1-1 book.
February 17, 2025
Funny
“If I dare you to jump off a bridge and you do it, and you’re twenty three years of age, you’re stupid”
“Now, who gets the deer, me or the dog?”
36
“If I dare you to jump off a bridge and you do it, and you’re twenty three years of age, you’re stupid”
“Now, who gets the deer, me or the dog?”
36
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 16, 2009
What a waste of time, paper, and money. It's absolutely insane that this got published. Not only does it have some of the exact same stories as the first one, but the ones that are different are still no good. There is nothing "wacky" about any of these stories.
There are a few little blurbs from the dispatchers who said the wrong thing and it happened to be funny. Anout three or four I think. Besides that, there were about three or four blurbs from a person calling in that got a chuckle. Besides that, there were about three from people who were just so damn dumb it was worth a little chuckle. The book is 247 pages long with about one "story" per page- figure it out.
I've read 4 of Gregory's books (no, I'm not clueless- I wasn't aware he was the author of these when I got them. Had I known- trust me, I wouldn't have got them after reading his "stupid crook" books)- and they all SUCK.
He has about half (if not more) of each book (this and the 1st) filled with the most idiotic childrens prank calls. Someone calling in to ask how they'd find their memory if they lost it- yeah, um, NOT WACKY. Someone calling in to ask what the earthquake rated at- nope, NOT WACKY.
One can only read so many 'the robber got in and had to call 911 to get back out' stories. The most hilarious thing about this book is he said the same thing I just did. He began a story about how overdone the 'robber calling 911 to get out of a place he broke into' is and guess what? Those are the majority of hsi stories.
Leland Gregory should be ashamed of himself. This is the LAST book I'll read with his name on it.
There are a few little blurbs from the dispatchers who said the wrong thing and it happened to be funny. Anout three or four I think. Besides that, there were about three or four blurbs from a person calling in that got a chuckle. Besides that, there were about three from people who were just so damn dumb it was worth a little chuckle. The book is 247 pages long with about one "story" per page- figure it out.
I've read 4 of Gregory's books (no, I'm not clueless- I wasn't aware he was the author of these when I got them. Had I known- trust me, I wouldn't have got them after reading his "stupid crook" books)- and they all SUCK.
He has about half (if not more) of each book (this and the 1st) filled with the most idiotic childrens prank calls. Someone calling in to ask how they'd find their memory if they lost it- yeah, um, NOT WACKY. Someone calling in to ask what the earthquake rated at- nope, NOT WACKY.
One can only read so many 'the robber got in and had to call 911 to get back out' stories. The most hilarious thing about this book is he said the same thing I just did. He began a story about how overdone the 'robber calling 911 to get out of a place he broke into' is and guess what? Those are the majority of hsi stories.
Leland Gregory should be ashamed of himself. This is the LAST book I'll read with his name on it.
September 10, 2011
I love this book. It's what I do for a living and its great reading other agencies calls.
May 31, 2019
3.5 stars
It was amusing and definitely entertaining. It only took me an evening to finish it but you could poke away at it in increments.
It was amusing and definitely entertaining. It only took me an evening to finish it but you could poke away at it in increments.
February 15, 2013
This is basically a book filled with various non-emergency calls that dispatchers have received in different areas of the country. Calls range from just plain ridiculous reasons to call, dumb criminal stories, children that have called 911 by mistake, pets dialing 911, and legit calls that have a strange story to go with them.
I decided to read this book because I knew it would be a quick read, and I could post it on my book trading sites to hopefully get rid of it for another, better book! Plus, it never hurts to switch up what you are reading, going from heavier to lighter subjects. The book did provide some chuckles, and made you wonder about some people, because some of the reasons people have called are really just plain dumb. I think I enjoyed it more when I first picked it up though. The next time I read it and finished it, I didn't feel so surprised or likely to laugh or anything about the stories. I think the shock value was gone, since I had already familiarized myself with the book. I also felt like the ending was abrupt. There wasn't anything to actually wrap up all the crazy calls- rather- just a random collection of calls, take it or leave it. I did enjoy reading some of the stories, don't get me wrong. I think my favorite story was the old lady that called her privates 'my possibility' and said she didn't know if she was even going to use it again, haha!
I decided to read this book because I knew it would be a quick read, and I could post it on my book trading sites to hopefully get rid of it for another, better book! Plus, it never hurts to switch up what you are reading, going from heavier to lighter subjects. The book did provide some chuckles, and made you wonder about some people, because some of the reasons people have called are really just plain dumb. I think I enjoyed it more when I first picked it up though. The next time I read it and finished it, I didn't feel so surprised or likely to laugh or anything about the stories. I think the shock value was gone, since I had already familiarized myself with the book. I also felt like the ending was abrupt. There wasn't anything to actually wrap up all the crazy calls- rather- just a random collection of calls, take it or leave it. I did enjoy reading some of the stories, don't get me wrong. I think my favorite story was the old lady that called her privates 'my possibility' and said she didn't know if she was even going to use it again, haha!
April 16, 2009
Okay- I read something else by this guy and wasn't all that thrilled- The Dumb Book of Crooks or something of the sort. Yeah, it wasn't all I thought it'd be. I got this (and the sequel- go figure) because I didn't notice the author.
So, I get it and notice the author. Then I groan. Then I figured, what the hell- I already have it- let's get it done with quick.
About 45 minutes after thinking that I was finished the book. I had also done the dishes and took my Labs out for a pee during that time by the way.
Personally, for a book to call itself having 'america's wackiest 911 calls' I'm greatly disappointed. Someone calling in saying, 'My nail is broken' is NOT wacky. Stupid, yes. Idiotic, yes. NOT WACKY. There were plenty of these, trust me.
The only good things I can say about this book is that there are a few wacky ones included- A FEW. Don't go getting excited because A FEW is just that- A FEW. As in, NOT MANY.
The only other thing he has going for him in this one is he has less of those annoying little anecdotes he puts behind every short paragraph. He's a lucky guy- I'll give him that. I wish I was making money off of something this damn dumb.
So, I get it and notice the author. Then I groan. Then I figured, what the hell- I already have it- let's get it done with quick.
About 45 minutes after thinking that I was finished the book. I had also done the dishes and took my Labs out for a pee during that time by the way.
Personally, for a book to call itself having 'america's wackiest 911 calls' I'm greatly disappointed. Someone calling in saying, 'My nail is broken' is NOT wacky. Stupid, yes. Idiotic, yes. NOT WACKY. There were plenty of these, trust me.
The only good things I can say about this book is that there are a few wacky ones included- A FEW. Don't go getting excited because A FEW is just that- A FEW. As in, NOT MANY.
The only other thing he has going for him in this one is he has less of those annoying little anecdotes he puts behind every short paragraph. He's a lucky guy- I'll give him that. I wish I was making money off of something this damn dumb.
October 8, 2012
It's not really worth the money buying. It's not worth buying because it may say that it's 232 pages, but there's almost nothing on them. It's a short book, and if the author had placed it differently, it wouldn't even be 50 pages.
You might be surprised at the amount of idiocy some people portray though. All in all, it's a book you can relax to with a cup of tea. I was kind of let down to be quite honest.
You might be surprised at the amount of idiocy some people portray though. All in all, it's a book you can relax to with a cup of tea. I was kind of let down to be quite honest.
April 4, 2011
Okay, I was younger when I picked this up and thought it would be fun to have, but seriously, this is more of a bathroom reader that would just sit somewhere and collect dust. Unless you really like wacky and frankly stupid 911 calls, this book really won't be for you.
I would rather read creepy 911 calls and ones that would give you chills or make you want to cry.
I would rather read creepy 911 calls and ones that would give you chills or make you want to cry.
December 28, 2015
This is a collection of humorous phone calls that 9-11 operators have received.
This book would be great for some quick laughs. Some have adult themes, but the book could easily be used for read aloud time (as long as I am selective on which stories I share).
This book cracked me up! It was a page turner and a gut buster. It’s fun to see how some people can be so silly.
This book would be great for some quick laughs. Some have adult themes, but the book could easily be used for read aloud time (as long as I am selective on which stories I share).
This book cracked me up! It was a page turner and a gut buster. It’s fun to see how some people can be so silly.
October 27, 2011
I enjoyed this book. It's amusing, keeps me distracted, and keeps me fairly happy when I'm in a bad mood. Yes, some were the same as the first book, but it didn't bother me. It's a good read for short periods of time, due to the fact that it's in short sections.
September 4, 2017
Some of the stories were funny but a lot were stupid and annoying. And we end with the 911 call for the bomb on Olympic park during the Atlanta Olympics. That wasn't funny and a terrible note to end on.
January 25, 2008
This book is really funny.
January 27, 2008
Ok, so this book is - to me - strickly in circulation to make us feel better about our own selves!!! If you don't feel the need to be intellectually challenged, then this is the book for you!
February 1, 2008
VERY FUNNY BOOK!
June 14, 2009
A light hearted look at some of the 'truth is stranger than fiction' calls that are received at 9-1-1 centers everywhere. Yes, these calls really are made.
Read
July 7, 2011Funny
November 3, 2010
IT IS REALLY FUNNY IN SOME PARTS OF THE BOOK
January 22, 2012
I LOVE these books! They are the very best bathroom fodder one can have! And I still have no idea what I'm going to do when I get through all of the books of this type in the house... LOL!
April 17, 2012
Funny especially working for EMS these people really are crazy
November 17, 2012
Hilarious
November 17, 2012
Hilarious
March 6, 2013
hilarious unbelieveable book! you never would think that these things would happen 2 people?
January 1, 2015
I guess this author is, like, America's expert on stupid people, events, and stories.
June 26, 2015
Okay but not great.
April 9, 2016
This books falls into the top 5 Worst Books I've Ever Read. Not even remotely wacky or amazing and some of them didn't even make sense. Glad I didn't pay for this book!
January 22, 2025
Painfully amusing
We hear about how people misuse the 911 emergency number, wasting operator time and delaying life saving assistance to those who need it. Hearing the nature of such calls is like watching a train wreck. It’s hard not to pay attention, and it’s equally hard not to be amused (mostly). I listened because it was free and had a few chuckles. Would have been better without additional commentary by the “host”. Listen at risk of your own annoyance.
We hear about how people misuse the 911 emergency number, wasting operator time and delaying life saving assistance to those who need it. Hearing the nature of such calls is like watching a train wreck. It’s hard not to pay attention, and it’s equally hard not to be amused (mostly). I listened because it was free and had a few chuckles. Would have been better without additional commentary by the “host”. Listen at risk of your own annoyance.
December 4, 2023
I gave this book a 4 star rating. I was about to give it a 3 star rating, but I was the one who decided to listen to this book over reading a physical copy. It's just not a book that is easy to listen to, in my opinion! Loved the Wisconsin stories! I currently work as a dispatcher in WI, so they especially made me chuckle. There is no question that these are real calls. 😂
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews