“My God in all of Mary-Mother-and-Joseph-Dear-Fucking-Lord, I’m going to cum,” he says. He pulls out and tugs the condom off so I can feel the warm shots of fluid on my back. “Oh, Jesus,” he says. “In darkness of Hell I release my evil onto this woman.” And with a laugh he falls on top of me. I’m glad that was a joke because it sure as fuck was starting to sound creepy. I’m religious, but that’s taking fornicatin’ to a whole other level.
Aven Jayce was one of my 'holy-shit-I-just-found-a-fanfuckingtastic-author' author of 2014 . Back then , the woman had written a dark erotic romance that had my head spinning and ovaries jumping . 2015 , and she is back with a new book which is very , very, very .. very different from her NOVA series . This time around Aven Jayce tries her hand at a twisted romantic comedy and boy does she do it with a panache .
Meet Divine Hallowell . Divine is a professor at Podunk U . Divine also has an alter ego . Her name is Violet Cuddlecock and yes , she is an indie erotica writer . Where Divine comes across as someone who is shy and awkward , Violet is the opposite . She comes across as someone who is cocky confident and kinda sinister-y . But don't worry , you meet Violet only when she is talking to Divine . So a lot of people don't really know who Violet is ..
Enter , James Daniel keller . Dan is Divine's neighbour . And Divine has some sort of a crush going on on him . But Dan seems tooooooo good to be true . Could he hiding some skeletons in his closet . Well , you'll just have to read the book to find out .
Its been really long since I read a romantic comedy , so this book definitely felt like a breathe of fresh air . There were a lot of things in this book that I could relate to with in reality . Especially the social media marketing trend that Divine so finely picks on . I loved how the auhtor depicted Divine and her twin side . Their banter , even if it is with each other , was hilarious . It actually felt like the voice inside her head was a different person altogether . I loved how little twisted and crazy Divine was at times . Everyone has a different coping mechanism when it comes to grief , and Divine's was a little out of the ordinary . Now lets talk about Dan here for a second . Everybody and I mean everybody needs a little James Daniel in their life .. Trust me on that ..
“I have to tell you something, Div.” He whispers in my ear as we embrace. I hope he doesn’t say the L word. It’s too soon. It would ruin everything. I’m not ready to say it. Nope. I’m obsessed and he’s penetrating my heart, but just wait, Dan. Just a little longer. “I can be sweet sometimes, but you should enjoy my tender touch while you can, because once you’re spread-eagle in my bed and my dick takes charge, no one’s going to come and save you.”
**** dreamy sigh **** .. Oh and he can be a bit weird at times .. Like uh , he uh , has a uh certain fetishes .. He is kinda sorta sexually exuberant .. If I can say that !
Oh and lets not forget those bits were Divine reads western pulp erotica's .. Those bits were just downright ... ugh !
“Willie Jean and Nelly. Them women have some hot baked beans, don’t ya think, Petey?” “Yessum, I reckin’ so, Uncle Al. Haven’t seen beans that bigin some time. I think they need some pork to go along with them beans.” “That’s a fine idea. Petey, why don’t you go over there and see if we can help them pretty ladies out with a who-ha-wallup.”
Divine is book packed with humor , a little mystery , some really sweet and steamy feels . But at the end of the day its a story about letting your past go . Setting it free . Watching it fly away , far away from you . Unburdening yourself and trying to find a semblance of 'YOU' in life .
I added this one because I thought I would enjoy this as much as I enjoyed The Virgin Romance Novelist. I mean, the blurb was my cup of tea and I love a little mystery so I thought this would be a good read.
Let's just say that though this might be my cup of tea, the serving is too small that it leaves me hanging.
The first thing that struck me about this book was that there appeared to be some familiarity to it, in the way that Divine Hallowell AKA indie romance author Violet Cuddlecock (I'd read her books with a name like that) and her Street Team behaved on a facebook group and also the way other members interacted with her. I'm not sure if this book is based on anyone or anything in particular, but as Violet, Divine initially came across as someone who, with the help of her street team was totally desperate to sell her books. The books appeared to contain very little depth to many, but to her they were based on actual events. These events affected Divine a lot and as such, shaped the way she went about her day to day life.
This book was totally unconventional as far as romance novels go. If I'm honest it was a bit bonkers, sometimes a tad cheesy, but actually very very funny indeed. I had a lot of laugh out loud moments. It was a little bit sexy in places - OK, a certain fetish isn't my cup of tea, but in the context of a funny read, it kind of works. I have to say I'd never heard of a Vajankle before and I'm pretty sure I dont want to have it appear in any other book again, but for now I am happy to say it provided some laughs for me.
Divine, for the most part is totally endearing, even if she does appear to have lost the plot. At times I did feel for her and although there is a definite humour to this book, there is an underlying sadness and loneliness to Divine, but that makes her, for me all the more likeable.
Dan Keller, is also another thing that defies the norm when it comes to romance books. He has a warped sense of humour that borders on sick, but again its hard not to be completely smitten with him.
I'd highly recommend this book to readers who like a lot of humour in their books and I have to say I really wasn't expecting to like this book quite as much as I did.
I don't think I've ever given a review as much thought as this one, I'm desperately trying not to upset the 'dick slut's'! I read this book as I'm a huge fan of the author, I'm really not into romantic comedy in any way shape or form, it's not that I don't like a laugh and a joke. I'm just quite hard to please on the comedy front! (Blimey how miserable do I sound!!!) That said this book is amazing, it did make me laugh and I mean really laugh. Swallowell had me chuckling! The reference to the Facebook groups and pages is brilliant and so true. I love those groups and was a member of them all, that is until my husband declared they had taken over my life and it was him or them. Pfft spoilsport!!! Anyway the reason I love this story so much is because it's different, a totally unique story with brilliantly written characters. As with Aven Jayce's other books the characters are real, you get into their minds. When I wasn't reading about them, I missed them and now it's finished I want it to continue, just so I can live along side them in their sometimes slightly strange lives. The blurb does say that it's not at all dark like The Nova Trilogy and The Dark Scarlett and it really isn't, there were few almost dark moments, these moments were perfect and added to the intrigue and depth of the characters. Obviously there isn't as much sex as in Nova but what there was is super hot and steamy. That door scene!!! I'm tempted to do a tongue sticking out, blinking emoji here but I'm not sure Divine would approve! If only I was still a member of the 'dick slut's' 'book junkies' 'one click aholic's' 'book Ho's' I would go and post how fantastically brilliant this book is and that you all need to read it right now ;)
I love when I stumble upon a book by an author I've never heard of...and end up loving it so much it's an instant favorite! This book was everything for me. Drama, romance, dark humor and emotional. I don't think this type of book is for everyone. You have to have a really odd sense of humor and be open minded. Rarely does a book make me laugh out loud (like literally I did laugh out loud), then make me incredible sad. I loved this story and I hope others will love it too!
This book will make any: Blogger Author (including AJ herself) Reader in any group on Facebook Wonder if it's about some one they know on a daily basis. It's Amazing how consuming and involving you become in this book, picturing people you know as the characters. The only way to describe the theme to this book is... Have you read the book "The Help"? When everyone's thinking this sounds like so and so, but no it can't be. That's this book. I literally devoured it in a day. Love Div's character at times it's honestly like she has a split personality. Talks, yells, and conversed with herself. Then Dan comes into her life and it's amazing how in a small town how everything makes on big circle of events. I would highly recommend this book. 5* read.
Divine by Aven Jayce is a refreshing thought-provoking, funny, sexy hot read. Makes you sit back and think how you act daily on social media sites, Divine is gripping, funny, contains some twists and erotic acts.
Div (Divine) Hallowell is a lonely person, her day job as a college lecture involves fighting against Margaret an evil twisted older colleague and bitchy sorority girls. Her other job is an erotic author under the pen name of Violet Cuddlecock, her book sales are down and she constantly has to fight against the popular 'Hayden Night' along with various facebook trolls & bookgroups.
Dan Keller the hot handsome neighbour who gets together with Div and she discovers some interesting facts about him including a certain foot fetish.
I would recommend Divine for those looking for a light refreshing read.
This was very well written, funny, smart,.and sexy. From the beginning with the words dick sluts I was laughing and glued. Unlike any story. A.must read for book lovers.on social media.
I stumbled on this book when looking for late night erotica - couldn't sleep, you know? A dark series of books was just released, Jameson Hotel by Aven Jayce. There was a book set with 6 parts -- 6 books!?!? I didn't have time to commit to a 6 book series by an author I have no experience with. So then I did some stalking and found that they were a spin-off from the NOVA Trilogy, which seemed so dark, I couldn't bring myself to download that one either although a part of me was intrigued with the author. I finally found Aven Jayce's Divine...One book to introduce me to her writing. I can handle that.
Funny how I thought it would be crazy erotica - Divine, the heroine, is a professor who writes erotica and watches tons of porn. She markets her books on a Facebook group called "Dirty Sluts" . You would think that with all the porn and erotica going on, there would be tons of sex - sex sex sex between the two characters. Then, when it didn't really happen (I don't count that sex scene through a door) I didn't really care all that much because the story was great without it. In fact, the actual sex scenes didn't do anything for me, so I was pretty happy that there wasn't much sex. The sex that they did have, I fast forwarded through it.
As much as I was looking for erotica, the gem is really Divine. She's just awesome. If Divine was Aven, I would stalk Aven and beg her to be my friend. Then just sit in her library of pop-up erotic novels, saying nothing and reading...because that's what I envision she's like in real life.
For someone who moved to become a professor in a small college town, she's pretty eccentric - and she meets another seemingly guy next door "Dan" who is just as quirky as she is. They're both people who play up their mainstream outward appearances, while looking for someone who can handle their inner eccentricities. There's a constant testing of one another, almost as if they're pretending to slowly play their secrets to one another out, while really keeping main cards close.
The way they meet, the first 5 minutes of their date, their big secrets...it just shows how perfect they are for one another. I totally love how he starts off the date. If I was on the dating scene, I would want some guy to steal that as the ice breaker.
This book is supposed to be lighter than her series books and you can tell. Although there is a sense of "mystery" with the secrets they had, it's isn't much of a shocker. It's really the working through it when each secret it revealed.
So much of this book made me wonder if it paralleled Aven's real life. I read somewhere that the Dirty Sluts Facebook Group is an actual group. Then I googled erotica pop-ups - didn't realize there was a thing! Made me chuckle. It also seems like Divine was written after the Nova Trilogy was released. Divine (the character) also wrote a dark trilogy...Divine markets herself on Facebook while not having a huge following on her personal page (while IRL, I read on GoodReads that Aven Jayce doesn't do social media, har har). She also describes romance/erotica book marketing techniques makes you wonder about all these reviews on Amazon. Just FYI - I didn't get paid or a free copy for this review. :)
I just finished divine and I have to say at first I wasn't so sure, couldn't figure out what was going on. However as I continued to read and finished the book I found that my initial reaction is what made me fall in love with the characters! It was like hearing all the thoughts people have but are to afraid to say out loud! To say this book was amazing isn't a strong enough description
There's quite a bit going on in this book. A bit of mystery, humor, family problems, hot neighbor, work problems and an inner-voice problem that doesn't let up.
I love the book cover!
For me the best parts were the humorous parts regarding book blogs on Face Book. Some of it made me cringe since I participate at times on those sites but, nonetheless made me laugh.
This book was awesome! It's always weird to me when the author casts her characters as authors. Lol but this girl was great. She wasn't meant to be a teacher . Haha and the events surrounding Dan really freaked me out! I was so glad that this had a HEA. great book! Recommend to everyone!
Aven does it again! Not sure if my favorite character is Div or Violet... We're all a little crazy, or maybe it's just me, and can relate to keeping it all together and falling in love for real. This was a fun read....and I wasn't paid to post this! (or was I?!)
Really good funny book. I wanted to kill Hannah myself, the little bitch. I loved Daniel, but he was really strange, his parents were the best though! This isn't a book for a lot of people, got to have a sex filled mind.
Stunningly hilarious, I couldn't put it down. This book had the perfect balance of storyline and sex, very refreshing. I'm officially a "Dick Slut"! Thank you Aven.
Oh my gosh! This book!! Why didn't I read this sooner?
I got this after receiving a recommendation from a friend, but that was years ago. I don't know why it took me so long to actually read it! Sadly, I don't think it's available anymore, which is a shame.
I think the problem is that, while the story is fiction, the author wrote something that was a little too close to a real life situation for her and I think she received backlash from some other people that were involved, even though they aren't named and the story isn't the same.... only touches of similar situations.
Anyway, I found this book to be funny, perceptive, thought-provoking, sexy, and romantic, while also having a touch of hate and mystery thrown in. There were a few parts that went slightly over the top, but everything, as a whole, made this a very enjoyable read.
From some of the other reviews I've seen, it sounds like this author went a different direction from her usual style with this book. Sounds like she may write more darkly than what this was. I would definitely be willing to try more from this author.
Wow, where to start!! This book has everything you expect from a mystery suspense. It's fast paced, a total rollercoaster ride full of unexpected twists and turns and it keeps you on your toes throughout. Love Aven Jayce's writing style, she is so descriptive you feel part of the story. Although a different genre it's a must read for all Aven Jayce fans. Brilliant.
This is a wonderful read, I love the character and how relatable she was. I also loved how I was able to connect and feel everything she was going through. The other characters are wonderfully quirky. Definitely should read.
So this was different. Once I got into the flow I really enjoyed the humour with two crazy lead characters . It was romantic but quirky .would read more by this author.
I absolutely loved this, it was so different than any of Avens other books that i've read so i wasn't sure how she would cope with the transgression from dark to light but HELL she did an amazing job !! **SPOILER ALERT** This tells the story of Divine, a University teacher by day and a writer (Violet Cuddlecock) in her spare time, of erotic fiction. Violet is her inner bitch and not afraid to say what she thinks whereas Divine isn't quite as outgoing. Divine has noticed a guy who lives near her and after a "dry spell" decides to push a note under his door asking to meet up but little does she know that Daniel also has an alter ego who apparently dislikes her writer ego. This book is full of laughs and is a brilliant insight in to how some authors could go about getting reviews/likes etc !!! AMAZING !!
I won this book in a facebook book page contest. This book is 3.5 stars for me. It started off absolutely hilarious. From the first page of the prologue, I was already laughing. I am avid reader and also a member of book pages like she described. It's true that you can be a different person behind social media. I enjoyed a lot of the banter between herself & "herself", but I think it started to be too much. I mean we ALL talk to ourselves, but I realy thought at one point she had a multiple personality disorder. I thought the ending was a bit rushed. Most of characters were pretty funny. Lots of fun back and forth banter between Divine & Dan. Overall, it was a funny book.
Weird, funny and two fab characters have made this one a fab read! Divine is quirky, a struggling author who would really love to write full time but sales aren't allowing her the opportunity to do so. Although having shunned a social life in favour of her writing and pen-name on a book review website, Devine surprises herself by approaching neighbour, James Daniel Keller and a highly erotic relationship follows! Funny laugh out loud moments throughout the book and great visual sex scenes, this was a great read!
This book just wasn't my cup of tea. There's some really weird stuff in this book that many people will find really funny and pretty cool. I'm just too vanilla to be one of them.