Cum am câştigat lupta: cu corpul meu, cu mintea mea, cu mine însămi

by Monica Seles

Cum am câștigat lupta vorbește despre debutul Monicăi Seles în circuitul tenisului profesionist și despre momentele care i-au marcat cariera de jucătoare de top, cum ar fi câștigarea primului titlu de Mare Șlem la French Open în 1990. Trei ani după această victorie, a dominat lumea tenisului până când un fan al lui Steffi Graf a înjunghiat-o în spate în timpul unui meci la Hamburg. În acel moment, viața Monicăi Seles a luat o turnură sumbră.

Și-a petrecut următorii doi ani departe de viața publică și de circuitul competițional, în încercarea de a depăși disperarea care-i pusese stăpânire pe viață. Într-un final, s-a întors la sportul pe care îl adora. Aflată din nou în lumina reflectoarelor, dar departe de a se fi vindecat, a continuat lupta cu propria persoană – pe timpul zilei se supunea unor antrenamente extenuante, pentru ca mai apoi, seara, să facă excese alimentare care i-au adus nenumărate mustrări din partea antrenorilor și critici brutale din partea presei.

În 2003, în urma unei accidentări grave, Monica Seles s-a retras din activitatea competițională, dar a pornit într-o cu totul altă călătorie. A conștientizat gravele probleme emoționale care o împingeau spre mâncatul compulsiv și și-a găsit liniștea și echilibrul după care tânjea. Voința, talentul uluitor și sensibilitatea înduioșătoare ale Monicăi Seles transformă experiența acesteia într-o poveste inspirațională.

Genres: Sports, Biography, Nonfiction, Memoir, Autobiography, Biography Memoir, Self Help

408 pages, Paperback

First published March 7, 2009

About the author

Monica Seles is a former Yugoslav world No. 1 professional tennis player and a member of the International Tennis Hall of Fame.

She was born and raised in Novi Sad, Serbia. She holds dual Hungarian and United States citizenship as of 2007.

She won nine Grand Slam singles titles, winning eight of them while a citizen of Yugoslavia and one while a citizen of the United States.

Reviews

[Eileen Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this hardcover book on a bargain shelf, at a grocery store, for only $1.75. It's worth its weight in gold! I'd never heard of Monica Seles, but her story is amazing! From her happy childhood, to American immigrant, to #1 World Class tennis star at age 16, to tragedy of being stabbed by one of her opponent's fans, being immediately forgotten by her "friends" in the tennis world, losing her father/manager to cnacer,losing the case against the man who assaulted her, to depression and binge eating, to making a full comeback. This is not just a book on tennis and world travel, but Self Mastery: Not from the outside in: All of the diets,fitness trainers and gaurds she hired to keep her away from the fridge at night, but healing from the inside out: discovering her true identity, forgiveness, and self worth, from deep within, where it really counts.

[Ed · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was (and still am) a huge fan of Monica Seles, so I enjoyed this memoir very much. That said, I am not sure I could recommend this book to someone who is not a Seles fan or minimally, someone interested in the tennis world. Given the title, I was expecting this to be primarily about Seles' battle with weight and self-esteem struggles (after all this is her second memoir -- and I read that one too -- and she's only 35!), but there was still a whole lot about tennis, that I doubt a non-fan would be interested in. Not the most amazing piece of writing either, but then again Seles was never the most graceful person on the tennis court... or certainly on the dance floor. But her bubbly personality does bounce off the page which is certainly nice to "hear" given all the dark times she has had in her life.

[Michelle Prendergast · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'll preface this by saying that Seles was one of my favorite players in the 90s-00s, and it's gratifying to read that she overcame the difficult fate she was dealt -- the stabbing and early death of her father/coach -- as well as the struggle of drowning her troubles in food addiction. However, I didn't particularly enjoy reading her biography. Perhaps it's unfair to compare her book to the musings of poet-philosopher Andre Agassi who had a great deal of wisdom about life to dole out, but in the absence of giving us much insight into the WTA tour besides the demands of travel, I would have liked to see something more than what amounted to a self-help book about her personal struggle with eating (the book ends with her fitting comfortably into a size 4 dress -- seriously, that's the last sentence). I was a bit uncomfortable during the many occasions in which she seemed to remember or simply chose to share more about specific meals she ate before or after matches at Grand Slam tournaments (I can't remember what I ate last night, let alone 10 years ago) more than the actual matches themselves (in many cases just relating the scores -- thanks, I can access these on Wikipedia for free, but it would've been a lot more interesting to have more of her perspective on the matches and even big rivalries with Graff, Capriati, or Hingis). Overall, one of the few books that I've actually felt was a waste of money.

[Henry · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great story, of a remarkable talent who would not change her style and won the French Open at age 15. She had a big setback when she was attacked by a fan of Steffi Graf but she bounced back though now her quest in life is to grow spiritually. I found the book to be insightful and honest.

[Deian Petrov · Rating 5 out of 5]

I find this to be my favourite autobiography after Agassi's. Enjoyed reading both the first 20% of the book that described Monica's childhood, as well as her later struggles. I feel I learned a couple of things from this book..
Thinking about reading more autobiographies.

[Ben · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book and finished it in only a few days. Monica comes across as very modest and down to earth with a self deprecating sense of humour and is also very honest about the difficulties she went through in her life. The story of how she finally conquered her mental demons is equally inspiring.
From every book of theirs I've read so far, tennis players seem to write great autobiographies! I greatly enjoyed Andre Agassi's and John McEnroe's, and Monica Seles' is right up there alongside them.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was always a Monica Seles fan and enjoyed her book. I was intrigued by all her young self had to deal with in regards to being attacked, losing her father, losing her #1 rating (no fault of her own but due to a crazed Stefi Graf fan). Although I could not relate to the specifics of some of her struggles I was able to relate to the general concept of human struggle. I appreciated several of her thoughts and ideas that helped her work through her emotional turmoil and overcome to find peace and allow her to embrace and live her life.

"I knew I used food to cope with emotions, but just knowing it wasn't enough to completely stop it. That's why I created the twenty-second rule: Before letting myself rip into a bag of junk food, I forced myself to sit down and county to twenty. Slowly. During those twenty seconds I made myself answer a very simple question: What was really bothering me? Almost every single time, I came up with the answer before the twenty seconds were up. The next question was: What can I do right this minute to help fix it? Do I need to call someone to sort out a misunderstanding? Do I need to get paperwork done? Do I need to run overdue errands? . . .By the time I came up with something that I could do right at that moment my urge to eat had subsided and I was tacking the underlying problem." p. 266-267

[Clare · Rating 3 out of 5]

So apparently I've become the sort of person who reads sports autobiographies. I was having a hard time getting motivated to go back to roller derby after breaking my leg, and I remembered something Monica Seles wrote once for Glamour in which she basically said all she wanted to do after getting stabbed was sit around and eat ice cream, and I was like, "Yep, that sounds about right." This book did achieve its intended effect of motivating me to go back, but not in the "If Monica Seles can do it, so can I!" way I expected--more along the lines of, "Practicing for two hours a few times a week doesn't seem that bad compared to Monica Seles' training schedule." I found that I enjoyed a lot of this book, particularly the recounting of her tennis career and her eventual attitude toward attaining balance and moderation. My only complaint is that the conclusion felt a bit rushed in comparison to the build-up--after all those scenes of restrictive diets and self-sabotage, it seemed like there wasn't much ink devoted to how she overcame that pattern.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not sure how to really rate this book. On a level of readability -- it is an easy read and an interesting story. Not a bad book if you were just picking it up to read. HOWEVER, from the standpoint of someone who works in an eating disorder facility, not so thrilled with the book - she is focused the whole way through with weight and numbers, and while, she may at some point have learned a thing or two about how diets do not work, she has failed to learn how to love her body, as it is, without trying to push it into another form -- one that conforms to the American standard of beauty. As a result, I cannot really rate this book very highly and so not recommend anyone who has any issue with their body image or weight run out and read it.

[Sean Peters (A Good Thriller) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Throughout my years of watching tennis I have always loved watching Monica Seles, her determination and fighting spirit.

Her matches with Steffi Graf were always great.

Her honesty, her toughness, her fight back to the heights of top tennis after the stabbing, and also her pure honesty about her weight problems, loss of her dad.

Again one of the best tennis Autobiographies

Read this for a second time earlier this year, also read when it first came out

[Cal Rykardt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this. I related to Monica's consistent inner-battle, her sea-saw and extreme approach to self-discipline, and although I wasn't stabbed, I too was attacked at my local tennis courts in early 1995. After reading this, I feel inspired to chip away at the layers I've built up, and start approaching life with peaceful moderation. What an inspiring lady.

[Deb · Rating 2 out of 5]

I normally enjoy biographies and I love tennis, so you would think that I would love this book. Not so, it seemed repetitive to me and drawn out! It did give me a better understanding of eating disorders and just how important the idea of "everything in moderation" is.

[Cheyenne Blue · Rating 3 out of 5]

A memoir shared between tennis and Seles's relationship with food. It was interesting, but lighter on the tennis than I would have liked. The food part was slanted to her dysfunctional eating patterns, and when, near the end, she is able to regain a healthier balance, it's almost glossed over.

The final paragraph sees her sliding effortlessly into a size 4 black dress. I admired Seles not for her looks but for her tennis. I was sorry to see the success of the black dress was positioned as more praiseworthy than her considerable sporting success.

[Raghu Nathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Monica Seles is the tennis player I have always admired most amongst the women tennis players. She was a brilliant and fearless stroke maker and conducted herself with great dignity right from the time she burst on the Grand slam circuit at the age of 16. Tragedy struck her life when she was stabbed by a deranged fan of Steffi Graf in Germany at age 19 by which time she had a record 8 Grand slam titles already against her name. So, I read her book with great interest and support and compassion for her.
The book is a revelation of her 'other life' which has not been apparent to her admirers like me. On the court, all I saw was the strong, fiercely focussed and fearless hitting Monica Seles. The book reveals that she constantly suffered from low self-esteem due to her belief that she was overweight and did not look good during the many years of her 'comeback effort'. She was a tall 5' 11” girl who weighed about 170 pounds at her highest. I never thought she was 'overweight as she puts it' during the years after 1995 when she came back to play. The constant American barrage of the 'pencil thin girl' as the ideal of good looks seems to have affected her even though she comes from Yugoslavia. Today, Serena Williams looks heavier than Monica ever looked. But still, the press deals with her kindly. In any case, much of the second half of her book is about her struggle with managing her weight and her binging with junk food. It is sad to read that such an all-time great athlete like her struggled with a penchant for binge eating to the detriment of her own tennis greatness.
There are many points of interest in the book that is essentially autobiographical. The thing that stands out is how much her father and mother loved her and backed her all the way in her tennis life from the young age of 6. Her father, Karolj Seles, was a political cartoonist and was her only coach till he died around 1999. Monica misses him very much.
Monica says that she is by nature basically a person who likes to please everyone. This nature contributed to her losing the Wimbledon final in 1993 due to media and fellow-player pressure on her 'grunting' with every stroke. Because she was so dominant over the rest of the players, the others – even accomplished players like Martina Navratilova' – complained to umpires during the course of the Wimbledon about her loud grunting distracting them from their game. Monica tried to control her grunting and this took focus away from her blistering game contributing to her bad loss of 1-6, 2-6 against Graf.
Monica slams the German justice system for the way it dealt with Gunther Parche, who stabbed her and ruined her career and life for many years. Parche did not spend even one day in prison for his crime He hid under a 'mentally unstable' defence and got away scot free in two years. But even worse happened when Seles sued the tournament organizers in Germany for the lack of security which contributed to her loss of no.1 status and career and endorsement earnings. She lost the case and the organizers sued her back for the reparation of legal fees and won. Monica Seles ended up paying out an outrageous 8 figure sum. What a travesty of justice!
Monica makes some interesting observations:
When you are young and have talent but no money and need good equipment, shoes etc, nobody 'gives' you anything. Once you become a top player and get lots of money, the sports companies gift you all the expensive stuff for free even though you can afford it all on your own money.
Life in Nick Bolliteri's clinic in Florida is basically one-dimensional and burns you out.
Pro tennis is detrimental to making friendships with fellow-players on the circuit.

Finally, Monica, after a severe stress fracture in her foot, stops playing and goes off the strictly prescribed diet and all the strict regimen of exercise and scientifically controlled eating. She just goes for long walks everyday and eats normally. In 2-3 years, she reaches her magic goal of 136 lbs! It is nice to see this happy ending.
I will strongly recommend this book to everyone.

[Trisha]

This book was particularly interesting to me as Monica Seles was the number one women's tennis player in the world around the time I was playing on my high school's tennis team. There is a lot of tennis jargon that the average reader might not enjoy, but if one understands the game, the descriptions create great visual images of some of her matches. It was a treat for me to step inside an elite athlete's mind and examine some of her thought processes (along with the training and some natural abilities) that pushed her to the top. Additionally, we get a glimpse of people, places, events, and even cuisines we might not otherwise experience. What struck me was how totally NORMAL this celebrity is as a person.

As a person in the health industry who does not subscribe to the "calories in minus calories out" theory, I found her frustrations to be dead on. Here is an athlete training six to eight hours a day, at times meticulously counting calories, and still not seeing the scales budge. Weight is so much more intricate than that simple, mythical formula being perpetuated by most doctors, trainers, nutritionist, and the public in general. For example, two different foods with exactly the same caloric content can have entirely different impacts on the body. I think her body finally released the weight as she began to tap into these truths, finding balance by choosing to exercise more moderately (enjoying brisk walks outdoors twice a day), eat real foods, be at peace with herself and fill her life with meaning instead of food.

This book is so well written that she either has a ghost writer or is almost as talented an author as she is a tennis player! Either way, you feel as though you've gained a close friend by the book's end.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I was a Jennifer Capriati fan growing up as a young tennis player. I found Monica Seles was often portrayed as the "bad guy" by U.S. press coverage of grand slam tournaments (even though by the time she went pro, Seles had become a U.S. citizen). But recently, when I heard a snippet from an interview with Seles, perhaps on NPR, I was intrigued over her recent transportation in mind and spirit post-retirement.

In a profession where 22 is considered past your prime, Seles hit the most amazing and terrifying hurdle with her stabbing during a match in Germany. In the years that followed she had to deal with rehabilitation from her injury, her father's cancer diagnosis, a changing professional landscape (enter the hot young women of professional tennis). Seles, like so many of us, turned to food as self-medication. I was intrigued as to how the brash, grunting, Monica Seles of my youth became the beautiful, sexy woman staring out from the cover of this book. And a woman who supposedly was at peace with herself for the first time in years.

This was a well-written, honest, autobiography that gives one hope to follow in Seles' footsteps to find that peaceful place in body and mind.

[Joni · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book gave an interesting insight into the life of Monica Seles and the world of professional tennis, which I don't watch and had no idea how it worked. I read the book as someone who also struggles with overeating, and I wanted to learn about how she overcame. In that sense, really all one needs to read is the last 8 chapters (out of 48 - they're very short). The rest of it is her personal memoir, which is interesting but not at all relatable to a normal person with an everyday life. The basic takeaway: Slow down, chill, let go of what you can't control and focus on what you can, quit trying so hard and just enjoy life in your body, let go of comparisons, remember life is more than food. There, now you don't have to read it if what you're looking for is information on the eating aspect.

I must say, though, that I have great respect for the woman, her journey, and her boldness in sharing the hard truth about her experience. I'm glad I read it even if it wasn't what I was expecting.

[Tanja · Rating 3 out of 5]

If given the option, I would give this 3.5 stars. On the whole an enjoyable read, if enjoyable is the word to use when reading someone's memoir of grief, injury, and struggles with binge eating disorder. I identified with so much of Seles's inner turmoil, though her emotional eating triggers were far different from mine. Like other books about binge eating disorder, she puts a lot of detail into the struggle and wraps up her recovery quickly. Worth the read if though for anyone with eating disorders, especially BED, which so many people do not believe exists. Getting a Grip helps shed light on the disordered thinking of someone for whom food has become a drug to self sooth and a weapon to self destruct.

As for other reviewers saying this will not hold the interest of someone who does not follow tennis, I disagree. The tennis history is her backstory, the life she lived while she struggled with her demons. I followed the book easily enough without getting distracted by the tennis-intensive sections.

[Kristi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had forgotten that Monica Seles won 9 Grand Slam Titles. That is no small feat. I liked this book, but I think she failed to open herself up as much as she good. It was a very clinical look at her life which was very amazing!!! After being stabbed, but a crazed Steffi Graff fan, her coach, best friend, and father is diagnosed with cancer. Her ability to fight through all that and come back into the top ten in tennis is inspirational. I am so glad that she has finally found peace, joy, and happiness outside of tennis. The crazed fan never spent time in jail and she never went back to Germany to play in a tournament even when the WTA moved the championships there. Good for her!!!! I do recommend this book!!!

[Sue Lundeen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always been interested in Monica Seles and her tennis career. She was a great tennis player. She was stabbed in a German tennis match at the height of her career. The man did not ever serve one day in jail and the German government acted like it was no big deal. Can you imagine? Just getting your mind wrapped around that!! How do you get rid of that anger? She certainly has had her trials in life to get back to "who she was" I liked reading about the different tennis matches and how she trained. The life of an elite athlete is not easy. There is a lot about her diet failures (which really was more about how she dealt with tragedy)--which as a woman I guess everyone has a story! It is not easy trying to keep the scale where you would like it to be!! Overall, a good book.

[Michelle Eggert · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned so much about Monica that I never knew reading this book. She had quite a journey throughout her career. I appreciate her willingness to open up about her struggles and be so real about it all. I can relate to so much of what she said.

That being said, I found the account of all the tennis matches/details/scores a bit tedious, but that's probably because I'm not a tennis player or even much of a fan. Also, I'm a bit puzzled as to how she actually was able to let go of the binging. The impression I got was that one day she just decided to stop doing it.

I'm glad she has found peace in her life and I hope her books helps a lot of people.

[Katherine Lavelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is labeled as kind of a self help/diet book, which is not what I was looking to read. Fortunately, while the book does deal with Seles' struggles with eating and exercise (in part because of the PTSD she suffered after being stabbed at a tennis match), the book is mostly a story about her. And it is a funny, touching, and interesting read. I've been watching tennis since I was a kid, and this book does a wonderful job taking the reader onto the tour, discussing the struggles she felt. This is a really interesting story, and if you like a well written autobiography, I would highly recommend this book! (even if you aren't a tennis fan)

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

More about Monica's ongoing struggle with her weight and her recent weight loss without dieting than I had realized it was going to be. Still was fun to read about her tennis matches and comeback after that crazy fan stabbed her in Germany. I would have liked to have been able to read more about her personal life though. For example, she mentions guys that she dated along the way but she does not tell much about them other than how they treated her weight gains and eating habits. She does look great now though and she seems much more at peace with her life these days as well.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book. I didn't know much about Monica Seles prior to reading this but it was so interesting to get a glimpse into her life and the life of a professional athlete. Their lives appear to be so glamorous, but in reality they are extremely hard-working and under a lot of pressure.

She did a good job of telling her story and making her point towards the end as to how she got her life back. She is an inspiring person and I have a deeper respect for her and other athletes after reading this book.

[Gato Negro · Rating 3 out of 5]

This autobiography is for the true tennis and/or Seles fan. It contains information pertaining to Monica's life as a child, intense training regimens, relationship with her family, significant matches, struggle with her weight and mental health after having been stabbed, and her naivete regarding all things American when she first came to the United States. It is an enjoyable read though if you are looking for scandal or juicy tidbits about the world of tennis, it is not laden with any of those sordid details (unlike Agassi's book).

[Robin (ReadItRobi) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not exactly what I expected...the first half is a passionless recounting of training in her youth and her early career success. The second half is a "it's hard to lose weight" type whine almost. Really, Monica? Lucky you lost it by not even trying in the end.

I was hoping for a little more dirt and detail on the tennis tour and maybe a truer depiction of struggling with her inner demons to battle her weight. Not bad, though.

[Ali · Rating 3 out of 5]

Monica Seles was my favorite tennis player back in her hey day and I was excited to be able to read her perspective on the stabbing and her career... I was more interested in the parts she talked about tennis and the rigors of the WTA tour, behind-the-scenes stuff, etc. But, she also talked a lot about her struggles with her weight and death of her father and, while it was interesting, she seemed to repeat herself a lot.

[Ranu802]

I read the book, Getting a grip long time ago.
This year i.e.2016 I have read the following books:

In january 1. The Miracle of mindedness translated by Mobi Ho
2. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
3. Eleven minutes by Paulo Coelho
4. The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffeneger
5. I'm reading, The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown.
I finished reading the first four books. I'm reading the 5th book since February 2nd, this year.

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a former player and a life long avid fan of the game, this book provided a fascinating behind the scenes look at the tour, tournaments, the Olympics...you name it. I had no idea it was a "weight loss" book, but that part was interesting...the diets and routines they had her on did not make sense and the sumo info was actually the most interesting diet related part. Who knew sumo wrestlers had rules regarding eating? It's a "what not to do" list for normal people!

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very good read on one of the stars of the tennis world in the Generation X era...Monica Seles.

She tells her story of how she found tennis in her native Yugoslavia and how she moved to the States going to school at a famous tennis academy in Florida and her subsequent rise and fall in Pro Tennis.

She did not let the partying life get to her but she did have her struggles with weight over the years...and she talks of how she resolved that.