Setting Boundaries with Negative Thoughts and Painful Memories: How to Stop Hoarding Your Hurts

by Allison Bottke

Find Lasting Freedom from Past Emotional Pain If you wait long enough, difficult and traumatic experiences from your past will go away on their own...right?

Except they won't. Time doesn't heal all wounds.

Instead, we hoard our hurts. We rehash our sorrows and wonder how they could have been prevented. This keeps us from making brand-new memories and embracing the richer life we crave.

Now is the time for setting healthy boundaries with the past. Allison Bottke will help you... Don't let the past dictate your present feelings. Follow this achievable advice and discover the freedom your captive heart desperately needs.

Genres: Nonfiction

208 pages, Paperback

Published April 1, 2017

Reviews

[Johnnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book with lots of examples.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read!

[Michelle Kidwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Setting Boundaries® with Negative Thoughts and Painful Memories

How to Stop Hoarding Your Hurts
by Allison Bottke

Harvest House Publishers

Self-Help, Christian

Pub Date 01 Apr 2017

I am voluntarily reviewing a copy of Setting Boundaries with Negative Thoughts and Painful Memories:

She grew up with a Mother who in the fifties and sixties saved a lot of paperwork, then they didn't have a name for it now they call them hoarders. Thankfully her Mother did not save unsanitary trash, and they weren't on the verge of being buried by mounds of refuse.

When she was a toddler her Mother got Spinal Menningitis and because there father was unable to care for them they were out in temporary foster care. She and her younger brother were sent to live with foster parents, who physically, sexually and mentally abused them and neglected them there older sister was more blessed she lived with a loving foster family.

A short time after they were sent back home, her parents divorced Something Allison would blame on herself.

At 16 Allison had her Son, at seventeen she escaped a violent marriage and got divorced. At eighteen her new marriage is over and she has an abortion.

The book reminds us to stop hoarding our hurts, because it is when we stop hoarding our hurts that healing begins and we are reminded too of the need to assemble supportive people, we need to nip excuses in the bud we also need to implement a plan of action that will move us forward in healing, we also need to trust the voice of the Holy Spirit, and we also need to yield everything to God.

There comes a point in time when every Christian needs to give his problems to the Lord.

I give Setting Boundaries With Negative Thoughts and Feelings five out of five stars.

Happy Reading.

[Deborah-Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have heard a lot about "boundary" books - usually related to how we interact with other people or how we let people treat us. However, I have never come across a book quite like this one that teaches us how to set limits on our own negative thoughts in order to get out of destructive thinking patterns and habits ("stinkin' thinkin'). This book is an incredible resource not only because of the journal prompts and practical exercises, but most importantly because the author herself is someone who has seen great pain and trauma and thus who speaks from personal experience and a wealth of knowledge. Bottke's book has been instrumental to me as I think about past experiences and how to look at them more positively as lessons for the future. I would recommend this book to anyone and endorse it from both the personal and professional viewpoint.

[Deb · Rating 4 out of 5]

This Christian self-help book has some excellent ideas on how to overcome the difficult and lingering effects of traumatic experiences from the past. Author Allison Bottke, herself a Christian counselor and therapist, She recommends six steps to taking control of negative thoughts and painful memories that can impact our lives. SANITY is the acronym to these steps which are 1. Stop hoarding hurts 2. Assemble supportive people 3. Nip Excuses in the Bud 4. Implement a plan of action 5. Trust the voice of the spirit 6. Yield everything to God. These steps sounds trite but the author does have some excellent ideas on how following these steps can us make better choices and bring about healthy changes in our lives. The book is not long - only 200 pages - and it is interesting and highly readable.

[Sandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you want to learn how to set boundaries with negative thoughts and painful memories read this book. The author recommends to use The Six Steps of SANITY:
Stop hoarding your hurts
Assemble supportive people
Nip excuses in the bud
Implement a plan of action
Trust the voice of the Spirit
Yield everything to God

Very biblical, practical and easy to understand.

Thank you Netgalley for this book

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought this was going to be a self-help book about battling negative thoughts. I had no idea it was religious. She kept saying that Jesus will fix everything. And don't trust nonChristian friends and therapists bc they may not give biblical advice. If a book is an ultra-religious Christian book, it should be advertised as such. I feel deceived.

A complete waste of time.

[Cat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Too Christian for my tastes, tho some of the advice was worth taking. I have friends who will appreciate this book. Any Christian with painful pasts would likely benefit from the book. This appears to be a series of self help books in case anyone is interested in pursuing other titles.

[Candice Hoagland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book.

[Abbey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend everyone read this book. If you are attempting to become more self aware and improve yourself I think this is great to throw in.

[W. Whalin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Get this New Addition to the best-selling Setting Boundaries Series

At first, I was going to set aside and not read SETTING BOUNDARIES WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND PAINFUL MEMORIES. After all, I’ve read the other books in this series. Yet when I began reading the foreword by Bonnie Keen of the music group, First Call, Allison Bottke pulled me into these pages. As Bonnie Keen writes, “This book is quite simply about godly, emotional care of your heart and mind. A step-by-step guide to heart care and head health, it’s about learning to put your thoughts, words, and actions into guarding and caring for the center of yourself.” (Page 8)

The book combines remarkable stories and transparency from Bottke’s personal life with Scripture, practical action steps and stories and examples from others. The combination is a compelling page-turner which if applied to your personal life, will be a game-changer. Every reader can gain insights from these pages. Counselors and pastors and other leaders will want to use this book as a tool to help others.

Bottke writes, “When negative thoughts and painful memories consume our waking hours and threaten to drag us down into the pit of despair, knowing the character of Christ mean knowing how to respond. After all, if anyone had cause to respond negatively to painful experiences and extreme adversity it was Jesus. He experienced the greatest suffering that ever took place, enduring unimaginable anguish and torment. Yet He consistently exhibited love, forgiveness, compassion, kindness, endurance, humility, submission, holiness, righteousness, and purity—characteristics that distinguished Him as a selfless, sacrificial lamb; concerned more for others than Himself. To know Jesus is to know what it means to reach outward when the natural tendency for us is to turn inward.” (Page 45)

I highly recommend SETTING BOUNDARIES WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND PAINFUL MEMORIES. I believe the pages of this new book will help many readers.