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Tweak: Growing Up on Crystal Meth
'Tweak' is a heartbreaking and powerful memoir of a young man's addiction to methamphetamine. Nic spares no detail in telling us the compelling and true story of his relapse and the road to recovery. He paints a picture for us of a person at odds with his past, with his family, with his substances, and with himself.
368 pages, Paperback
First published February 19, 2008
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43513 people want to read
About the author
Nic Sheff
6 books873 followersNic Sheff is the author of two memoirs about his struggles with addiction: the New York Times bestselling Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines and We All Fall Down: Living with Addiction. Nic lives in Los Angeles, California where he writes for film and television.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 3,990 reviews
March 17, 2009
I don't mean to put down other people's opinions but you all are being incredibly harsh. This is Nic's true story, of growing up on Meth, and unless you have also overcome such a drug, it's not your place to call him a horrible, pathetic person. And to say that throughout some of the book, he's putting the blame on other people is wrong and you've obviously misunderstood. He looked up to his father a great deal. I remember him writing about how him and his father used to go on walks together and his father would snuggle him up in his long trenchcoat...they obviously had a very close relationship. Different families have different ways of raising their children. I love how Nic's father was so open with his son. He taught him the way of life. He's not like other parents who try to make their kids believe that everything's so great if you do this and you do that. Nic knew at a young age that life isn't always the greatest, but you make do with what you have because when you least expect it, life can be absolutely beautiful. I loved this book, and I think Nic Sheff is absolutely inspiring and an incredible writer.
July 29, 2009
I wish to God that Goodreads had a category or designation for THE WORST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ, because this would definitely be in it. The schtick is a pretty good one - the drug addicted son writing his version and his father writing his own version, but the execution is just awful. The kid, Nic, is just one more selfish, entitled kid (who brand-name and name drops excessively) who goes down a wrong path and has a family to keep picking up the pieces for him, giving him chance after chance. It angers me that this kid got a book deal because he has connections and has a marketable "story," because if this book is supposed to be insight into the drug addicted mind, it fails miserably. This isn't an illustration of a life on drugs. I would so much rather read a story about a street kid drug addict who has a *real* story - someone who didn't grow up knowing famous people and having money or brand names. That's the story I want to read. Not this insipid drivel. I have never in my reading history stopped reading mid-sentence, closed the book, hunted in the trash for the receipt and returned it. Never, until this book. It is so poorly, terribly and arrogantly written that it makes me seethe with anger. I am *only* giving the book one star so that the poor rating gets added to the average. No stars would have no impact at all.
April 25, 2008
I tried reading this book after reading Beautiful Boy and I couldn't get through it. This guy's writing was published in Newsweek? Once you get beyond the extremely graphic quality of it, I thought it was terrible. He touts himself as an accomplished writer for his age, yet he uses "amazing" to describe things at least 3 times in the first 50 pages. Come on.
However, it was interesting to read the opposite side of this story after reading Beautiful Boy. Nick is more honest than his father about the root of his problems, but I found it too emotionally heavy and the flashbacks too frenetic. Also, the pseudonym name dropping of stars or famous people that he is/was linked to by 1 or 2 degress becomes annoying.
I'm sure I'm in the minority in my opinion of this book, but I think this book sells itself more on shock value than a well-crafted story.
However, it was interesting to read the opposite side of this story after reading Beautiful Boy. Nick is more honest than his father about the root of his problems, but I found it too emotionally heavy and the flashbacks too frenetic. Also, the pseudonym name dropping of stars or famous people that he is/was linked to by 1 or 2 degress becomes annoying.
I'm sure I'm in the minority in my opinion of this book, but I think this book sells itself more on shock value than a well-crafted story.
July 11, 2008
I heard about Tweak/Beautiful Boy through the provocative NY Times book review a few months ago. The idea of having such a harrowing story told from two opposite perspectives really piqued my interest.
Tweak is nothing if not engaging. That being said, I find the writing to be sub-par, at best. After listening to a Nic Sheff podcast, I learned that Nic writes exactly how he speaks. Filled with "like, you know"'s, I found myself frequently wondering if this was the caliber of work that landed him a piece in Newsweek.
That being said, I enjoyed this book. I am stunned by the author's candor and awed at his bravery in telling his story. While his vulnerabilities linked to the drugs were horrifying, it was his sober vulnerabilities that broke my heart.
I do not think Nic is a hero, but I also don't think of him as the spoiled-brat-who-threw-everything-away, as other reviewers have suggested. Nic's experiences detail a very dark side of humanity that seemed almost too easy to slip into. But he did.
While Nic's behavior on drugs violates even the most frayed of moral fibers, at no point did I ever dislike him. I believe Nic to be a compassionate, loving person unable to break a debilitating, monstrous addiction. Seeing such light become such dark is a difficult task, indeed.
Tweak is nothing if not engaging. That being said, I find the writing to be sub-par, at best. After listening to a Nic Sheff podcast, I learned that Nic writes exactly how he speaks. Filled with "like, you know"'s, I found myself frequently wondering if this was the caliber of work that landed him a piece in Newsweek.
That being said, I enjoyed this book. I am stunned by the author's candor and awed at his bravery in telling his story. While his vulnerabilities linked to the drugs were horrifying, it was his sober vulnerabilities that broke my heart.
I do not think Nic is a hero, but I also don't think of him as the spoiled-brat-who-threw-everything-away, as other reviewers have suggested. Nic's experiences detail a very dark side of humanity that seemed almost too easy to slip into. But he did.
While Nic's behavior on drugs violates even the most frayed of moral fibers, at no point did I ever dislike him. I believe Nic to be a compassionate, loving person unable to break a debilitating, monstrous addiction. Seeing such light become such dark is a difficult task, indeed.
January 1, 2020
Rips my heart out, fills me with hope. Every. Time.
March 6, 2014
If you look up DOUCHEBAG in the dictionary, you're likely to see this guy under the main entry. I love memoirs about addiction, they are fascinating and usually serve as a nice reality check whenever my often troubled mind veers into darker territories. This one just irritated the hell out of me and made me badly wish I could punch the guy in the face. Sheff spends a lot of time boasting about how great a writer he is, which is strange because this book reads like an immature 14 year old wrote it. I'm betting the only reason his writing ever got published when he was in school was because his father is a journalist with friends in high places. His favorite word to describe anything is "amazing" and he uses 'like' more than any ditzy valley girl that ever existed. This is like the Twilight version of addiction memoirs: shallow and mind numbingly frustrating. I could get over these flaws if there was a heartfelt story with real truth behind it, but there wasn't. This guy was given chance after chance and kept taking it all for granted. Squandering his parent's money and efforts, he was nothing but selfish time again and time again. Instead of working towards positive changes and a better life, he thought it was more productive to constantly name drop and obsess over some old washed out rock stars famous ex girlfriend. You think he gets it together in the end, as he claims, but that's just so he can build you up to buy his second lousy memoir about relapsing, appropriately titled We All Fall Down. Sheff says that throughout the duration of his book tour promoting Tweak, he was on drugs. Don't buy his terrible books and feed into his habit.
January 21, 2014
Never has meth addiction seemed so boring. Or as Nic Sheff, with his fondness for trifold redundancies, would put it: boring, boring, boring. Sheff wants so badly to be the next dark, dangerous, and doomed druggy genius, but he's going to have clean up more than his act if he ever wants to belong in the same company as Burroughs, Bukowski, Miller, et al. His child of privilege, friend of the stars routine gets old very quickly, and one can only take so many repetitions of the same description, such as "We made love until the sheets were soaked" and "We made love all night, soaking the sheets with our sweat" or "We made hot,sweaty love" and "I awoke on soaked sheets, my body still covered in sweat from the intense night of lovemaking." Gag. My biggest problem with the book is it just doesn't feel honest. Not that I doubt Nic Sheff is or was a drug addict; I guess it just seems like he's trying too hard to become one of his heroes.
September 19, 2023
Opening Line: "I'd heard rumors about what happened to Lauren, I mean, I never even knew her that well but we'd sort of hung out a few times in high school"
There's been a lot of buzz around Nic Sheff's bestselling memoir TWEAK and for good reason, its un-put-downable. This candid, gritty and detailed struggle with addiction is an amazing story but what entranced me most here wasn't Nic's decent into methamphetamine hell or his subsequent struggles to remain sober and find some kind of peace within himself, it's the way this story is told. Nic Sheff the author has a gift and I adored his short choppy style of writing. His ability to put into words the pain and loneliness we all at times feel even during the height of his addiction when the words purposely become vague, paranoid and crazy. I can only hope that he continues to write as I would read anything he publishes.
Tweak chronicles 642 days in Nic Sheff's life. Beginning on day 1 we bare witness to Nic relapsing after 18 months sober. Nic hadn't planned on relapsing that day, his life was working "I'd made so much progress" but without a second thought Nic picks up right up where he left off and in a matter of 32 days loses everything... again. We follow Nic during those 32 days, learning about his history, his insecurities and disappointed family. We watch Nic score and scheme (and dream) and get high and get really sick. Only quitting when he runs out of money and can no longer function. Nic's family will have nothing to do with him but he gets one more chance from his sponsor, who in a tough love way helps get Nic back on his feet...again.
Spenser brings Nic into his family, taking him to meetings and working the 12 steps. As readers we finally get to see sober Nic. Following him on his obsessively long bike rides and feeling his excitement as he begins to write and reconnect with his family. On day 278 Nic gets a call from Zelda, the love of his life and despite warnings from friends and family Nic can't stay away from her. Quickly becoming as addicted to the beautiful but toxic Zelda as he was to drugs. Within a matter of months Nic is using again, this time its heroin and crack and the fall he takes here is faster and harder than before. Almost losing an arm to infection from a dirty needle his 22 year old body soon starts to give out.
It was despairing as a reader watching this unfold. I could feel Nic's desperation and loneliness, his inability to fit in and need to be loved but I also felt myself becoming angry when he relapsed because I wanted him to succeed so much that it was hard to read, I just wanted to shake him and say what are you doing?
This is a raw and honest look at the up and down life of an addict, it's heartbreaking, ultimately uplifting and truly enjoyable. The paperback edition also contains a group reading guide and a new afterward by the author.
There's been a lot of buzz around Nic Sheff's bestselling memoir TWEAK and for good reason, its un-put-downable. This candid, gritty and detailed struggle with addiction is an amazing story but what entranced me most here wasn't Nic's decent into methamphetamine hell or his subsequent struggles to remain sober and find some kind of peace within himself, it's the way this story is told. Nic Sheff the author has a gift and I adored his short choppy style of writing. His ability to put into words the pain and loneliness we all at times feel even during the height of his addiction when the words purposely become vague, paranoid and crazy. I can only hope that he continues to write as I would read anything he publishes.
Tweak chronicles 642 days in Nic Sheff's life. Beginning on day 1 we bare witness to Nic relapsing after 18 months sober. Nic hadn't planned on relapsing that day, his life was working "I'd made so much progress" but without a second thought Nic picks up right up where he left off and in a matter of 32 days loses everything... again. We follow Nic during those 32 days, learning about his history, his insecurities and disappointed family. We watch Nic score and scheme (and dream) and get high and get really sick. Only quitting when he runs out of money and can no longer function. Nic's family will have nothing to do with him but he gets one more chance from his sponsor, who in a tough love way helps get Nic back on his feet...again.
Spenser brings Nic into his family, taking him to meetings and working the 12 steps. As readers we finally get to see sober Nic. Following him on his obsessively long bike rides and feeling his excitement as he begins to write and reconnect with his family. On day 278 Nic gets a call from Zelda, the love of his life and despite warnings from friends and family Nic can't stay away from her. Quickly becoming as addicted to the beautiful but toxic Zelda as he was to drugs. Within a matter of months Nic is using again, this time its heroin and crack and the fall he takes here is faster and harder than before. Almost losing an arm to infection from a dirty needle his 22 year old body soon starts to give out.
It was despairing as a reader watching this unfold. I could feel Nic's desperation and loneliness, his inability to fit in and need to be loved but I also felt myself becoming angry when he relapsed because I wanted him to succeed so much that it was hard to read, I just wanted to shake him and say what are you doing?
This is a raw and honest look at the up and down life of an addict, it's heartbreaking, ultimately uplifting and truly enjoyable. The paperback edition also contains a group reading guide and a new afterward by the author.
March 5, 2008
A book in need of an editor. But maybe that is the definition of an out of control life of a teenage/young twenty drug addict, a life in need of an editor.
October 26, 2022
For all the issues our nation, (if you live in the U.S.) and the world, faces in regards to substance use, the fact remains that most of us will go through our life without addiction to illicit drugs. This book is amazing because it gives a firsthand account to the struggles and experiences someone has to overcome in their journey to sobriety. Nic has courage. Not only for not giving up his battle for sobriety, but in sharing his mess, warts and all, with the world. Nic's account is messier than his dad's version in Beautiful Boy. His experiences can be harder to stomach. For all the accounts his father gives of staying up late, agonizing over the days Nic was missing, we get a first-hand account of what was happening behind the scenes. And yes. It was as bad as David feared. It was worse.
That being said, it was a difficult book to get through and became a slow read for me. It ended on a hopeless note and, in true nature for a typical user's story, made it hard to feel hope for those I know dealing with this disease. But the hopeful side is: he is still fighting.
Such a worthwhile and important read, especially coupling it with David Sheff's book written from a father's perspective. I would not recommend for young readers due to content. Parents, this is a probably not a book to use for talking points if I'm being honest. A lot of adults will set this aside and not be able to finish. As I said, he shows complete transparency with some horrific life experiences and in considerable detail. As an adult reader, this is a sad and difficult book with many difficult-to-absorb scenes.
I'd rate a hard R for explicit sex and drug use scenes, frequent swearing, thematic elements, violence, and peril.
That being said, it was a difficult book to get through and became a slow read for me. It ended on a hopeless note and, in true nature for a typical user's story, made it hard to feel hope for those I know dealing with this disease. But the hopeful side is: he is still fighting.
Such a worthwhile and important read, especially coupling it with David Sheff's book written from a father's perspective. I would not recommend for young readers due to content. Parents, this is a probably not a book to use for talking points if I'm being honest. A lot of adults will set this aside and not be able to finish. As I said, he shows complete transparency with some horrific life experiences and in considerable detail. As an adult reader, this is a sad and difficult book with many difficult-to-absorb scenes.
I'd rate a hard R for explicit sex and drug use scenes, frequent swearing, thematic elements, violence, and peril.
August 30, 2009
I just wanted to choke the guy. Shows addiction in a brutally honest way, but had to keep putting the book down.
January 15, 2022
3.75 so I'm rounding up.
The first thing I want to note is addiction doesn't give a fuck who you are. Rich, poor, young, old, successful, hopeless. It doesn't care your ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, or how many people love you. It simply doesn't care, it will take over and ravage your life no matter what.
So, people need to step off their high horse saying Nic is a spoiled rich kid. That's the least important thing about this story.
It's a journal style, raw, and honest dive into the head of someone with a horrible disease and the road he personally took to try and beat it.
Nic's story may sound stereotypical to you but everyone's story is uniquely their own.
Don't like the writing style? Fine.
Don't like aspects of Nic's personality? That's your choice I guess.
But you have no place to judge his story or his path. It is his and his alone.
I commend him for being brave enough to share all of that with the world, especially knowing one of his core issues was acceptance.
Thanks for opening up your life and struggles to us, Nic. I wish you nothing but the best.
The first thing I want to note is addiction doesn't give a fuck who you are. Rich, poor, young, old, successful, hopeless. It doesn't care your ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, or how many people love you. It simply doesn't care, it will take over and ravage your life no matter what.
So, people need to step off their high horse saying Nic is a spoiled rich kid. That's the least important thing about this story.
It's a journal style, raw, and honest dive into the head of someone with a horrible disease and the road he personally took to try and beat it.
Nic's story may sound stereotypical to you but everyone's story is uniquely their own.
Don't like the writing style? Fine.
Don't like aspects of Nic's personality? That's your choice I guess.
But you have no place to judge his story or his path. It is his and his alone.
I commend him for being brave enough to share all of that with the world, especially knowing one of his core issues was acceptance.
Thanks for opening up your life and struggles to us, Nic. I wish you nothing but the best.
June 19, 2008
Honestly after reading Beautiful Boy this book was a let down. I felt our writer was one of the most selfish, self-inflated narrative voices I have read in a long time. By the end of the book I hated the kid--and found that he glamorized and legitimized his meth addiction. I am curious if this book was only published thanks to Nic's father's connections. A cliched story of an addict who really is too concerned with his California land of plastic existence. Barf. I am sure the movie starring so greasy-ball Hollywood actor will be out soon.
January 2, 2020
The gritty and harrowing story of Nic Sheff, a young man who shares his story of growing up on methamphetamines (in LA & SanFrancisco), and his repeated relapses on his road to recovery. A crazy ride of a story, I read it in 24 hours.
June 10, 2013
This book is actually, like, the worst thing I have ever read. It's just so, so, bad, you know?
The above is an example of the caliber of writing found in this book. No exaggeration. It's the sort of book where you're hating it so much that you're angry as you read, but can't stop because you have to find out if there is anything redemptive about it at all. In the case of Tweak, there is not.
How did such a poorly written book make it onto the NYT best seller list? I could not stop asking myself this question until a quick google search of Nic Sheff revealed that his father, David Sheff, wrote a book telling the same story from a father's perspective. Clearly a gimmick, and unfortunately one that worked.
If you are looking for a memoir that exalts the triumph of the human spirit over the evils of addiction, you will not find it here. Instead Nic Sheff offers the poorly written story of a bratty, privileged kid who finds himself sucked back into his addictions-- sex, heroin, meth, celebrity status-- over and over again with a mind-bogglingly forgiving family helping him pick up his life every single time; told with a detachment and petulance I found infuriating.
There is literally nothing good about this book. Please don't waste your time.
The above is an example of the caliber of writing found in this book. No exaggeration. It's the sort of book where you're hating it so much that you're angry as you read, but can't stop because you have to find out if there is anything redemptive about it at all. In the case of Tweak, there is not.
How did such a poorly written book make it onto the NYT best seller list? I could not stop asking myself this question until a quick google search of Nic Sheff revealed that his father, David Sheff, wrote a book telling the same story from a father's perspective. Clearly a gimmick, and unfortunately one that worked.
If you are looking for a memoir that exalts the triumph of the human spirit over the evils of addiction, you will not find it here. Instead Nic Sheff offers the poorly written story of a bratty, privileged kid who finds himself sucked back into his addictions-- sex, heroin, meth, celebrity status-- over and over again with a mind-bogglingly forgiving family helping him pick up his life every single time; told with a detachment and petulance I found infuriating.
There is literally nothing good about this book. Please don't waste your time.
February 8, 2017
Read this book again. It's still good but it reads a bit like On the Road, only the consequences are more realistic. Nic flushes his life down the toilet, claws his way back, and you cheer for him, but he relapses and ruins his life again.I want to read the next book he wrote but if he got with Zelda again I'd be SO FRUSTRATED and I'd YELL at the book and people would see me do this.
Also his father's book Beautiful Boy is good too. Illegal drugs don't just affect the person doing them but their own family.
So I read it again.
Nic Sheff is a brilliant young man. He seems rather nice. He has interesting taste in movies, books and music. This book shows him struggling with meth, with his crippling bad self esteem. It's him struggling to feel worth it as a human being. Nic Sheff, you are totally worth it as a person and it's good that you wrote this book and it probably has helped many people struggling with drug addictions and finding their place in the world. I hope you are doing well and are happy and living the Good Life. You deserve it. Folks are rooting for you! YOU GO!
Also his father's book Beautiful Boy is good too. Illegal drugs don't just affect the person doing them but their own family.
So I read it again.
Nic Sheff is a brilliant young man. He seems rather nice. He has interesting taste in movies, books and music. This book shows him struggling with meth, with his crippling bad self esteem. It's him struggling to feel worth it as a human being. Nic Sheff, you are totally worth it as a person and it's good that you wrote this book and it probably has helped many people struggling with drug addictions and finding their place in the world. I hope you are doing well and are happy and living the Good Life. You deserve it. Folks are rooting for you! YOU GO!
April 26, 2009
The Twit-like update box is not enough to contain my ennui and annoyance at this point(p 259). OH MY GOD. You can just tell when Zelda enters his life again everything is about to totally fall apart, and lo, it does. Story of an addict's life. But, just as the writing about drugs is sort of totally emotionless, this has a real I-was-at-a-movie-and-it-went-like-this quality now -- it's told _about,_ but the people are really hard to get a handle on, or even to see, and therefore to care about. The detail of the starfucker who immediately plugged the names of speakers at Hollywood meetings into imdb.com to see whether or not they were big shots was amusing, tho....but it's more like a Hollwood-novel detail. "When the shots are strong enough you get this feeling like your head is just pounding with energy. Your ears ring and you almost pass out and it is just amazing." Dude. What the hell kind of druggie description is that? I get that kind of feeling when I drink too many lattes in a row. If I'm going to get dragged along through someone's drunkalog I at least want some moments of good dirty nostalgia as the price of the trip.
ETA: Best bit of the book so far, sadly on page 288: "I don't sleep for four days and nights and the fucking bugs won't leave me alone....I go into the counselors' office and demand to be taken to a hospital. A silver-haired Austrian woman with shimmering blue eyes suggests, 'Why don't you just lie down and invite the bugs in? Experience the bugs crawling on you. Become one with the bugs.'
"I tell her what I think of that idea."
I really have to wonder how this guy writes -- some other reviews mentioned hearing him speak on NPR et al, and apparently he sounds just like his writing style. It really almost reads like a transcript of someone speaking, every 'uh' and 'like' intact.
FINAL THOUGHTS: I think this is the first book I've seen to have not only an afterword to the paperback edition, but also the first post of his blog, which I guess his publisher encouraged him to set up? because the story's so obviously not over. But he recently abandoned it, so. http://nicsheff.blogspot.com/
ETA: Best bit of the book so far, sadly on page 288: "I don't sleep for four days and nights and the fucking bugs won't leave me alone....I go into the counselors' office and demand to be taken to a hospital. A silver-haired Austrian woman with shimmering blue eyes suggests, 'Why don't you just lie down and invite the bugs in? Experience the bugs crawling on you. Become one with the bugs.'
"I tell her what I think of that idea."
I really have to wonder how this guy writes -- some other reviews mentioned hearing him speak on NPR et al, and apparently he sounds just like his writing style. It really almost reads like a transcript of someone speaking, every 'uh' and 'like' intact.
FINAL THOUGHTS: I think this is the first book I've seen to have not only an afterword to the paperback edition, but also the first post of his blog, which I guess his publisher encouraged him to set up? because the story's so obviously not over. But he recently abandoned it, so. http://nicsheff.blogspot.com/
April 14, 2008
This is the memoir by Nic Sheff that accompanies his father, David's, memoir. The book is an extremely honest look at addiction written by an addict, Nic Sheff.
This book is heavy emotionally. Everything from details on cooking meth to abcsessed arms the size of baseballs are included. Along the way Nic prostitutes himself, steals from strangers, and in a heart-breaking scene, takes $5 from his little brother's piggy bank.
Nic holds nothing back, and what is left on the page is something that is cathartic for him and a real look into addiciton for us. If it has a drawback, it could be that the book is redundant. He's clean, he meets a girl, she uses, he tries to save her, he uses, repeat. But even that complaint is remedied by this thought: this is the life of an addict, a repetitive cycle of insane decisions spurned by insecurities and depression.
While Nic does acknowledge the "disease of addiction" he also bluntly states that it's a "disease of choice". That first hit/injection is a choice, but after that...
The final ten pages, as Nic goes through therapy with his parents, are an emotional roller-coaster. You're there with the father (especially after reading his book, "Beautiful Boy") in his anger and love.
Having lost a friend to drugs I found this book like a therapy session. From the day he died I wondered what his world was like, how his mind worked, and what lead to his demise. I think Nic showed me a lot, and I'm grateful.
This book is heavy emotionally. Everything from details on cooking meth to abcsessed arms the size of baseballs are included. Along the way Nic prostitutes himself, steals from strangers, and in a heart-breaking scene, takes $5 from his little brother's piggy bank.
Nic holds nothing back, and what is left on the page is something that is cathartic for him and a real look into addiciton for us. If it has a drawback, it could be that the book is redundant. He's clean, he meets a girl, she uses, he tries to save her, he uses, repeat. But even that complaint is remedied by this thought: this is the life of an addict, a repetitive cycle of insane decisions spurned by insecurities and depression.
While Nic does acknowledge the "disease of addiction" he also bluntly states that it's a "disease of choice". That first hit/injection is a choice, but after that...
The final ten pages, as Nic goes through therapy with his parents, are an emotional roller-coaster. You're there with the father (especially after reading his book, "Beautiful Boy") in his anger and love.
Having lost a friend to drugs I found this book like a therapy session. From the day he died I wondered what his world was like, how his mind worked, and what lead to his demise. I think Nic showed me a lot, and I'm grateful.
December 11, 2018
In what I can only describe as a harrowing roller coaster ride, constantly weaving between despair and hope, Nic Sheff illustrates his journey of coming to terms with his addiction and himself. Nic’s struggle, which he acknowledges may never end, is frustrating and sympathetic in a way that will make you want to weep for and wrap your arms around a young man attempting to conquer a demon that at times seems much larger than life. This isn’t for the light of heart. In vivid and often graphic detail Nic Sheff identifies his pain, his trauma, and how difficult recovery can be. He bravely exposes himself to the world in an effort to generate understanding, and while at times I admittedly wanted to shake him and scream as if all that was necessary to end the nightmare was just waking up, I did come away with more empathy for this all-encompassing disease.
October 28, 2012
I’m having a hard time organizing my feelings about this book. It’s always been hard for me to review books that I didn’t particularly enjoy— especially memoirs. This is Nic Sheff’s life, after all. It’s his story to tell, not mine, and part of me feels like I have zero right to criticize his cathartic process- no matter how it turns out.
That said, I’m going to go out on a limb and say I wasn’t especially impressed. Personally, I found Nic’s writing style repetitive and difficult to read. Moreover, I was continually struck by the incredible (and largely unacknowledged) privilege that impacted Nic’s experience with drug addiction and recovery. Despite his almost constant complaints about having very little money, Nic always seemed to find himself in the company of movie stars and famous writers— someone was always there to bail him out or finance the most cushy, expensive types of inpatient treatment available. In fact, hardly a page went by without some pretty heavy name and brand-dropping.
What irks me the most is not that Nic Sheff is privileged, but that he doesn’t acknowledge his privilege. Not once in the 336 pages he wrote about his life did he meaningfully reflect about the ways in which money, social status, gender, and the color of his skin affect his addiction and recovery process.
I am in no way trying to diminish or invalidate Nic’s suffering and experiences. Clearly he has lived through some difficult circumstances— circumstances that I can only begin to imagine. But, on a very personal level, I can’t help being somewhat disappointed in Nic for overlooking (and, in some cases, actively distancing himself from) such a significant component of his own reality.
That said, I’m going to go out on a limb and say I wasn’t especially impressed. Personally, I found Nic’s writing style repetitive and difficult to read. Moreover, I was continually struck by the incredible (and largely unacknowledged) privilege that impacted Nic’s experience with drug addiction and recovery. Despite his almost constant complaints about having very little money, Nic always seemed to find himself in the company of movie stars and famous writers— someone was always there to bail him out or finance the most cushy, expensive types of inpatient treatment available. In fact, hardly a page went by without some pretty heavy name and brand-dropping.
What irks me the most is not that Nic Sheff is privileged, but that he doesn’t acknowledge his privilege. Not once in the 336 pages he wrote about his life did he meaningfully reflect about the ways in which money, social status, gender, and the color of his skin affect his addiction and recovery process.
I am in no way trying to diminish or invalidate Nic’s suffering and experiences. Clearly he has lived through some difficult circumstances— circumstances that I can only begin to imagine. But, on a very personal level, I can’t help being somewhat disappointed in Nic for overlooking (and, in some cases, actively distancing himself from) such a significant component of his own reality.
May 13, 2008
Reviewed by coollibrarianchick for TeensReadToo.com
Methamphetamine use, commonly known on the street as crystal, tweak, the New Prozac, and crank, has become a growing problem in the U.S. in the last several years. From what I have read, there is no worse drug addiction than crystal meth. It not only affects the person using but the personal relationships they have, as well. It is not just my humble opinion when I tell you that these drugs have the power to kill or cause great harm. A great example would be Nic Sheff, the author of TWEAK. At an early age, just a babe himself, Nick had his first taste of drugs and alcohol. Drug use escalated in Nic's case - he went from just smoking pot to abusing cocaine, heroin, and crystal meth. For over a decade, on and off, Nic used drugs. The book opens up with a bang - Nic relapsing after 18 months of being clean and sober.
You can call TWEAK a young adult book if you like, since Nic is a young adult, just in his twenties, but in actuality it is a book that will appeal to any age level, young and old alike. Teens will definitely gravitate to Nic's story because of the fact that it is someone about their age using drugs, and they can relate to it (maybe not completely but on some level). The general public may find it of interest, because it will give them an insight into the mind of an addict. Perhaps a reader may find comfort in this story, knowing that he is not alone.
It occurred to me as I was reading TWEAK that the book was like a cleanser for Nic; a way to cleanse his soul. Writing TWEAK couldn't have been easy for him, as Nic had to relive everything he did and put it down on paper. Some of what I read admittedly shocked me. I can't imagine what goes inside an addict's mind. The book was so honest; at times I ached for him. Other times I wanted to strangle him for what he was doing to himself and his family. I hate to say that I didn't think his clean and sober status was going to last very long. It was as if it was too good to be true. At the end of the book, we learn that Nic is now clean and dealing with his demons on an everyday basis. I expect that this is not going to be an easy road for him or for his family.
Everybody participates in addictive behavior in some way or another. Some people believe that people get involved in addictive behaviors because they are reckless, self-absorbed, and have no self-control. For the most part, I stand in the camp that believes that drug and alcohol addictions are diseases. You may choose to get treatment, but once an addict always an addict. Nic is never going to escape the addict label even if he does remain clean the rest of his life.
Nic's father, David Sheff, also has written a book about meth addiction. BEAUTIFUL BOY looks at Nic's addiction through the eyes of a parent. Mary Pipher, a psychologist and the renowned author of the book REVIVING OPHELIA, says on the jacket of David Sheff's book: "When one of us tells the truth, he makes it easier for all of us to open our hearts to our pain and that of others." Good reason to read Nic's book and his father's. Pick up your copies today.
Methamphetamine use, commonly known on the street as crystal, tweak, the New Prozac, and crank, has become a growing problem in the U.S. in the last several years. From what I have read, there is no worse drug addiction than crystal meth. It not only affects the person using but the personal relationships they have, as well. It is not just my humble opinion when I tell you that these drugs have the power to kill or cause great harm. A great example would be Nic Sheff, the author of TWEAK. At an early age, just a babe himself, Nick had his first taste of drugs and alcohol. Drug use escalated in Nic's case - he went from just smoking pot to abusing cocaine, heroin, and crystal meth. For over a decade, on and off, Nic used drugs. The book opens up with a bang - Nic relapsing after 18 months of being clean and sober.
You can call TWEAK a young adult book if you like, since Nic is a young adult, just in his twenties, but in actuality it is a book that will appeal to any age level, young and old alike. Teens will definitely gravitate to Nic's story because of the fact that it is someone about their age using drugs, and they can relate to it (maybe not completely but on some level). The general public may find it of interest, because it will give them an insight into the mind of an addict. Perhaps a reader may find comfort in this story, knowing that he is not alone.
It occurred to me as I was reading TWEAK that the book was like a cleanser for Nic; a way to cleanse his soul. Writing TWEAK couldn't have been easy for him, as Nic had to relive everything he did and put it down on paper. Some of what I read admittedly shocked me. I can't imagine what goes inside an addict's mind. The book was so honest; at times I ached for him. Other times I wanted to strangle him for what he was doing to himself and his family. I hate to say that I didn't think his clean and sober status was going to last very long. It was as if it was too good to be true. At the end of the book, we learn that Nic is now clean and dealing with his demons on an everyday basis. I expect that this is not going to be an easy road for him or for his family.
Everybody participates in addictive behavior in some way or another. Some people believe that people get involved in addictive behaviors because they are reckless, self-absorbed, and have no self-control. For the most part, I stand in the camp that believes that drug and alcohol addictions are diseases. You may choose to get treatment, but once an addict always an addict. Nic is never going to escape the addict label even if he does remain clean the rest of his life.
Nic's father, David Sheff, also has written a book about meth addiction. BEAUTIFUL BOY looks at Nic's addiction through the eyes of a parent. Mary Pipher, a psychologist and the renowned author of the book REVIVING OPHELIA, says on the jacket of David Sheff's book: "When one of us tells the truth, he makes it easier for all of us to open our hearts to our pain and that of others." Good reason to read Nic's book and his father's. Pick up your copies today.
August 22, 2019
Tweak is a memoir of Nic Sheff’s early young adulthood as a crystal meth addict. He recounts his spiral through addiction and his very lowest points, to his turn toward rehab and the twelve steps and back time and again. From relapse to recovery, Sheff is forced to face the worst of himself and dig to the root of his addiction in the hopes that he can finally get clean, stay clean, and live his life. Trigger warnings (pretty much everything): death, addiction, drug use, overdose, withdrawal, needles, severe injury/illness, body horror, violence, guns, hospitals, prostitution, mental illness, self-esteem issues, self-loathing.
This is a difficult read for its subject matter, and it’s twice as difficult if it happens to be familiar. Whether you are the addict or you’ve had one in your family, so much of the memoir rings true, from the way Sheff casually throws everything in his life away again and again to his own bitter self-loathing while simultaneously wanting everyone to like him. Some readers might find it comforting to know they’re not the only ones facing those challenges, but it’s far from a perfect book or even an exceptional memoir. That Sheff has a story to tell is undeniable, but that it’s the best way to tell it isn’t as clear.
The first half is a struggle just watching him repeatedly make bad decisions as an addict, where the main goal is always scoring drugs and never any kind of plot or character development. Recovery is better since at least Sheff has something to fight for, but the cycle takes up pretty much all of the book. I think the thing that surprised me most about it was how quickly relapse happened. There was usually never anything to set it off, no prolonged thinking about it; everything is gone, just that fast.
Sheff is a difficult character to like, in part because his addiction is, realistically, always his first priority, but also because he’s a little stuck up. His recovery friends tease him about his tendency to name-drop, and it’s true. He’s preoccupied with fame and prestige to a damaging level, which makes sense given that most of the book takes place in Hollywood. While Sheff as a writer is unflinching about his faults and his mistakes, it seems like the one thing he doesn’t acknowledge is how privileged he is, even as an addict. He’s from an upper-middle class family who cares about him and can afford to send him to rehabilitation centers more than once, which is hardly typical for a lot of addicts.
The ending is abrupt, and I think less time on the addiction cycle and more on the last recovery would have smoothed out some of the pacing issues as well as given us a better sense of Sheff’s character development. He blows through a couple revelations in the last section, but it’s hard to know what (or how much) those realizations mean to him without more explanation. It’s a book to read for its content, not because it’s necessarily well-written or structured. Beautiful Boy is on my shelf for later in the year.
I review regularly brightbeautifulthings.tumblr.com.
This is a difficult read for its subject matter, and it’s twice as difficult if it happens to be familiar. Whether you are the addict or you’ve had one in your family, so much of the memoir rings true, from the way Sheff casually throws everything in his life away again and again to his own bitter self-loathing while simultaneously wanting everyone to like him. Some readers might find it comforting to know they’re not the only ones facing those challenges, but it’s far from a perfect book or even an exceptional memoir. That Sheff has a story to tell is undeniable, but that it’s the best way to tell it isn’t as clear.
The first half is a struggle just watching him repeatedly make bad decisions as an addict, where the main goal is always scoring drugs and never any kind of plot or character development. Recovery is better since at least Sheff has something to fight for, but the cycle takes up pretty much all of the book. I think the thing that surprised me most about it was how quickly relapse happened. There was usually never anything to set it off, no prolonged thinking about it; everything is gone, just that fast.
Sheff is a difficult character to like, in part because his addiction is, realistically, always his first priority, but also because he’s a little stuck up. His recovery friends tease him about his tendency to name-drop, and it’s true. He’s preoccupied with fame and prestige to a damaging level, which makes sense given that most of the book takes place in Hollywood. While Sheff as a writer is unflinching about his faults and his mistakes, it seems like the one thing he doesn’t acknowledge is how privileged he is, even as an addict. He’s from an upper-middle class family who cares about him and can afford to send him to rehabilitation centers more than once, which is hardly typical for a lot of addicts.
The ending is abrupt, and I think less time on the addiction cycle and more on the last recovery would have smoothed out some of the pacing issues as well as given us a better sense of Sheff’s character development. He blows through a couple revelations in the last section, but it’s hard to know what (or how much) those realizations mean to him without more explanation. It’s a book to read for its content, not because it’s necessarily well-written or structured. Beautiful Boy is on my shelf for later in the year.
I review regularly brightbeautifulthings.tumblr.com.
October 17, 2024
I read We All Fall Down prior to reading this memoir and I am glad I did. It was interesting to see how the books overlapped some but filled in gaps in each one. The different perspectives between writing Tweak while still in and out of sobriety and writing We All Fall Down later takes some of the same situations and sheds different light. Since I read WAFD first, I was able to go into reading Tweak with a clearer picture of Nic's mindset during and after the publication of Tweak. Again I will always say it is no easy task to be so vulnerable and share parts of our realities that are less than positive. There is beauty is sensitivity. Well done.
June 29, 2015
I'm not sure what to make of this book. It felt like at times it was trying too hard (to sound cool, to be edgy, to be desparate), and at times it was not trying hard enough (Sheff alludes to his "troubled past" that is supposed to be even more messed up than his present relapses, yet never gives any real details to back it up). Ultimately, the book ends up reading like a cliche that we've read and seen and heard too many times to make it fresh anymore. And although the book is "true," there are some facts in the book that don't add up and add an air of questionability to the whole story (for example, sometimes the dates don't add up; another example is when Sheff states that his friend Yakuzo lives in a house in Brentwood - then a few pages later, she suddenly lives in a high-rise condo building elsewhere). I'm still waiting to read his father's book, "Beautiful Boy," but I wonder what, if anything, that will lend to this story.
July 6, 2022
This was a grueling book about drug addiction told by the man who went through it. I'd read his dad's book a few years back Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction and was always interested in reading the son's POV. Several years later I finally made the time. It's sad and painful and I don't regret the read but I'll need to go read some light and fluffy monster romance now. For balance.
April 22, 2009
I definitely prefer the father's book over the son's, not to say that the son's memoir isn't powerful, it just isn't enjoyable to read. First, it clearly reveals the seedy, dangerous and horrific underbelly of drug abuse and addiction in American cities.
It's hard to say if it is by design, but you begin the book expecting to feel sympathy for Nic and his drug addiction, but as you ride the roller coaster of addiction, sobriety, and relaspe with him, you begin to feel the frustration that his parents must feel. During his relaspes, the addiction and resulting behaviors made him almost inhuman, I really didn't like him and his "I don't care attitude," even though I knew it was the sickness of addiction making him that way. It's not until he tries to get sober and his humanity returns, that I started to root for him a little more, but I was quickly disappointed in his choices and eventual relaspe. By the end of the book, I felt like his parents--frustrated, skeptical of his sobriety, and basically just tired of dealing with/reading about him. I guess this is part of the pain of addiction.
It's hard to say if it is by design, but you begin the book expecting to feel sympathy for Nic and his drug addiction, but as you ride the roller coaster of addiction, sobriety, and relaspe with him, you begin to feel the frustration that his parents must feel. During his relaspes, the addiction and resulting behaviors made him almost inhuman, I really didn't like him and his "I don't care attitude," even though I knew it was the sickness of addiction making him that way. It's not until he tries to get sober and his humanity returns, that I started to root for him a little more, but I was quickly disappointed in his choices and eventual relaspe. By the end of the book, I felt like his parents--frustrated, skeptical of his sobriety, and basically just tired of dealing with/reading about him. I guess this is part of the pain of addiction.
July 9, 2008
Here is the story of David Sheff's Beautiful Boy from the son’s perspective. He is not the writer that his father is, but hearing his voice, so clearly the voice of a damaged soul, and also possibly a narcissist, fills out the picture. In its own way, this book was hard to put down, despite its shortcomings. (Poor editing?) I gained a great deal of insight into the devastation of addiction. And I find that helpful in many ways. Despite all the damage he wrought and his desperate struggles to go straight, poor Nic stills sounds pitifully proud of just how down and dirty he got. And to me, that’s a big red flag. His journey through addiction isn’t over yet.
June 24, 2017
I like to re-read this one every now and then in between 'big reads' as it has an easy flow and the author, a drug addict, has some wild escapades.
May 21, 2010
Surprisingly poorly written, especially considering the author was allegedly published in Newsweek while in high school. It was all over the place and there were contradictions in his timeline. The book also said very little about his growing up. In fact, it doesn't start until he's in his early 20's and the worst of his drug use sounds like it was in college. Plus, there was almost nothing about meth. He uses a mixture of meth and heroin through half of the book but most of the time he uses whatever is available. My daughter is a recovering meth addict and she read it and suggested I read it. When I brought this fact up she said, "Oh yeah, it's really not about meth at all. It's just really scary."
I didn't think it was that scary. I think he got off really well considering what he did. During the course of the book's narrative, he never slept on the street, he never actually had nowhere to go. There were always people willing to help him. He relapsed several times after the worst thing he did which was prostitution and O.D.'ing on GSB. I felt a disconnect from his emotions in the book like he was telling us what he should be feeling rather than how he was actually feeling inside. He also only very very briefly mentioned his probable bi-polar diagnosis and it didn't sound like he was properly medicated for that. Until that is taken care of, no amount of therapy is going to prevent him from relapsing.
Basically, I didn't buy that this was the last time he had relapsed and somehow he was now going to change. The time between his last rehab stint and the time he wrote the book was shorter than other periods he'd been sober. There was no sudden epiphany and realization of self about anything really significant. He didn't hit bottom. There was no real explanation or apparent understanding of why he relapsed in the first place. He only briefly touched upon his other addictive and self-destructive behaviors. The only really positive change I saw was moving away from L.A. and San Francisco where the majority of his drugging behavior happened.
Sadly, I think this book was an attempt to capitalize on his father's success with Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction telling us what he thinks we want to hear. The title feels like marketing ploy (and I grudgingly admit it worked: I would have been less likely to read it if it was purportedly about heroin addiction which has been written about to death). This book covers no new ground and really just left me irritated with this man who was raised in a life of privilege who just kept playing a big dangerous game. I wanted a book about a teenager like mine, who had a rough start in life and got sucked into the world of meth and what it was like. This isn't that book.
All that said, I did read it to the end pretty quickly.
I didn't think it was that scary. I think he got off really well considering what he did. During the course of the book's narrative, he never slept on the street, he never actually had nowhere to go. There were always people willing to help him. He relapsed several times after the worst thing he did which was prostitution and O.D.'ing on GSB. I felt a disconnect from his emotions in the book like he was telling us what he should be feeling rather than how he was actually feeling inside. He also only very very briefly mentioned his probable bi-polar diagnosis and it didn't sound like he was properly medicated for that. Until that is taken care of, no amount of therapy is going to prevent him from relapsing.
Basically, I didn't buy that this was the last time he had relapsed and somehow he was now going to change. The time between his last rehab stint and the time he wrote the book was shorter than other periods he'd been sober. There was no sudden epiphany and realization of self about anything really significant. He didn't hit bottom. There was no real explanation or apparent understanding of why he relapsed in the first place. He only briefly touched upon his other addictive and self-destructive behaviors. The only really positive change I saw was moving away from L.A. and San Francisco where the majority of his drugging behavior happened.
Sadly, I think this book was an attempt to capitalize on his father's success with Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction telling us what he thinks we want to hear. The title feels like marketing ploy (and I grudgingly admit it worked: I would have been less likely to read it if it was purportedly about heroin addiction which has been written about to death). This book covers no new ground and really just left me irritated with this man who was raised in a life of privilege who just kept playing a big dangerous game. I wanted a book about a teenager like mine, who had a rough start in life and got sucked into the world of meth and what it was like. This isn't that book.
All that said, I did read it to the end pretty quickly.
August 29, 2008
I truly enjoyed this book. I just finished it and I am excited to write this review. I had just finished Beautiful Boy, which is written by this author's father regarding and is about his son's (the author of Tweak, Nic's) battle with drug addiction prior to picking up Tweak. Both books were compelling and it was amazing to read about the same story from the son's perspective after reading about the experience from his father's perspective - a rare experience. Having read his father's book first, I found Nic Sheff's book to be eye-opening and although his father told the story truthfully from his perspective, reading Nic's book gave me further insight into Nic's feelings and how he was so torn throughout- again it reinforces how difficult divorce is on children, especially an "only child" who's parents live a plane ride away from eah - how divided this poor child was...
At the beginning of the book, I felt drugs were a bit glorified, but it's easy to understand that for Nic, at the beginning of his use and/or relapse, drugs truly were a wonderful experince for Nic.
To me it is still shocking how such an intelligent, gifted boy could get so caught up with drugs- and have his life spiral beyond anyone's control- the situations he put himself in were just shocking and not what I would think a boy from a middle class family, with a solid, good education and a bright future would be caught up in- the question for me remains "are there people who are pre-disposed (genetically) to be addicted to drugs"- how come some people can experiment with the same drugs and not becoming dependent/addicited to them??
I also wonder whether the long-term effects of drug used caused Nic ot become manic depressive or whether being maniac depressive was one of the reasons that led to Nic's extensive drug use...
I'm not sure whether this book shou dbe considered a young adult book as it is, I think it may be more appropriate as an adult given- given the graphic descriptions!
At the beginning of the book, I felt drugs were a bit glorified, but it's easy to understand that for Nic, at the beginning of his use and/or relapse, drugs truly were a wonderful experince for Nic.
To me it is still shocking how such an intelligent, gifted boy could get so caught up with drugs- and have his life spiral beyond anyone's control- the situations he put himself in were just shocking and not what I would think a boy from a middle class family, with a solid, good education and a bright future would be caught up in- the question for me remains "are there people who are pre-disposed (genetically) to be addicted to drugs"- how come some people can experiment with the same drugs and not becoming dependent/addicited to them??
I also wonder whether the long-term effects of drug used caused Nic ot become manic depressive or whether being maniac depressive was one of the reasons that led to Nic's extensive drug use...
I'm not sure whether this book shou dbe considered a young adult book as it is, I think it may be more appropriate as an adult given- given the graphic descriptions!
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