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The Survivor's Guide to Family Happiness

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Three women, three lives, and one chance to become a family—whether they want to or not.

Newly orphaned, recently divorced, and semiadrift, Nina Popkin is on a search for her birth mother. She’s spent her life looking into strangers’ faces, fantasizing they’re related to her, and now, at thirty-five, she’s ready for answers.

Meanwhile, the last thing Lindy McIntyre wants is someone like Nina bursting into her life, announcing that they’re sisters and campaigning to track down their mother. She’s too busy with her successful salon, three children, beautiful home, and…oh yes, some pesky little anxiety attacks.

But Nina is determined to reassemble her birth family. Her search turns up Phoebe Mullen, a guarded, hard-talking woman convinced she has nothing to offer. Gradually sharing stories and secrets, the three women make for a messy, unpredictable family that looks nothing like Nina pictured…but may be exactly what she needs. Nina’s moving, ridiculous, tragic, and transcendent journey becomes a love story proving that real family has nothing to do with DNA.

386 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 25, 2016

2166 people are currently reading
4470 people want to read

About the author

Maddie Dawson

14 books1,542 followers
I'm the author of eleven novels about love, crazy families, secrets, parenthood, and--yes, they have happy endings and some laughs as well as tears. (Just like life.) My newest, SNAP OUT OF IT, comes out on Jan. 3, 2023.

Also by me: The Magic of Found Objects, A Happy Catastrophe, Matchmaking for Beginners, The Survivor's Guide to Family Happiness, The Opposite of Maybe, The Stuff That Never Happened, Kissing Games of the World and A Piece of Normal.
My first novel, What Comes After Crazy, was written under the name Sandi Kahn Shelton.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 576 reviews
Profile Image for Theresa Alan.
Author 10 books1,168 followers
August 5, 2018
After her adopted mother dies, Nina’s desire to find her birth mother is renewed. The search takes her to find a sister, who was adopted into another family and has no desire to befriend Nina or meet her birth mother. Nina eventually wins Lindy over and moves on from her own divorce when she meets a man named Carter with two teenage children.

I found this to be a charming, sweet story of how a person should define “family,” and what the word to means to different people.
For more reviews, please visit: http://www.theresaalan.net/blog
Profile Image for Karen.
2,629 reviews1,295 followers
October 31, 2023

The story begins in 1979 with Tilton O’Malley heading off to college leaving behind his pregnant girlfriend, Phoebe Mullen. Tilton is with another friend, A.J. Barnes.

And…

They decide to have a night on the town.

But then…

Tragedy strikes, and their lives are changed forever.

It is now 35 years later.

Readers are introduced to Nina Popkin. After her adopted mother dies, and her own marriage fails, she decides to search for her birth mother.

And…

While pursuing her “dream” mother, she finds she has a sister Lindy who grew up in the same town.

But…

Lindy has no interest in finding their mother, or pursuing a sisterly relationship. She is already knee deep in her own busy life with family, business, children, and her own set of chaos.

However…

Nina does not want to give up on Lindy.

As readers we follow Nina’s pursuit of family connection. To finding answers.

Will she find what she needs to complete her?

And…

Could the author have provided a compelling story with less pages? For this reader, it would have been preferred.

Still…

The women characters were interesting with strong personalities that felt authentic. They were also quirky, funny, dynamic, and flawed. The author was a good storyteller.

And…

This was a good read, overall.
Profile Image for Suzanne Leopold (Suzy Approved Book Reviews).
434 reviews252 followers
September 23, 2016
The book begins one evening in 1979. Tilton O’Malley is heading off to college leaving behind his pregnant girlfriend, Phoebe Mullen. Along with another friend A.J. Barnes, they decide to have a night on the town. Tragedy strikes this group, and their lives are changed forever.
It is now 35 years later and we meet Nina Popkin. After the death of her adopted mother, and a failed marriage, she becomes interested in finding her birth mother. She has known that she was adopted her whole life, and as a child dreamed of who her biological mother might be - possibly Princess Diana, or maybe the gym teacher?
During the pursuit of looking for her mother, Nina finds that she has a sister Lindy who grew up in the same town. Unlike Nina, she has had no interest in finding her adoptive mother or pursuing a sisterly relationship. She has a family, an established business, young children, and a chaotic busy life. However, Nina is determined to forge a relationship with her newly found sister, even though she is continually rejected by her. The book shows Nina’s journey as she tries to answer all the questions that have eluded her for her entire life.
I enjoyed the author’s writing style, and some of her descriptions throughout the book made me laugh. For example, this description of Nina's friend’s fiancee, “He’s an electrician and has a union job and nice teeth, and loves church, motherhood, apple pie, peanut butter crackers, and puppies.”

I look forward to future works from Maddie Dawson.

I am giving away a copy of the book on my blog - ends 9/25 http://www.facebook.com/suzyapproved
Profile Image for Cindy Burnett (Thoughts from a Page).
672 reviews1,120 followers
October 31, 2016
The Survivor’s Guide to Family Happiness explores the importance of family and the many forms family can take. Nina Popkin is 35 years old, recently divorced and newly orphaned. Feeling adrift after her numerous significant life changes, she begins to search for her birth mother (she was adopted when she was very young). Not only does she discover her birth mother, but Nina learns that she has a sister related by blood that was also given up for adoption. Lindy McIntyre, Nina’s newly found sister, leads a very structured life and is initially very unhappy to learn she has a sibling she knew nothing about. With her enthusiastic and delightful personality, Nina attempts to win Lindy over and enlist her to help locate their birth mother, Phoebe Mullen. Meanwhile, Nina has also met Carter, and they have begun dating. Carter has two children that enjoy and appreciate Nina and the structure she has brought into their lives. At first, I was not sure that part of the story seemed very realistic, but as it developed I decided it made sense because Carter and his ex-wife provided very little support or attention to their children, and Nina provided just what they needed.

The story is told through alternating viewpoints, Nina’s, Lindy’s and Phoebe’s, which works very well for the plot. Hearing the story through each woman’s eyes really added to the book and helped the story progress. I also felt I understood each individual better after reading a chapter told from that character’s viewpoint. Maddie Dawson crafts realistic, likeable characters that will stay with me for a while. I particularly liked Nina – her positive attitude and relentless attempts to ascertain where she came from were very appealing and carried the novel along.

The one section I found a tad unrealistic was the part where Nina moved in with Carter and his children and just assumed the role of a pseudo-stepmom. While his kids clearly needed a Nina in their lives, this section just did not ring very true with me. However, this small blip did not keep me from liking the book. It was a fun and entertaining read. Thanks to TLC Book Tours and the publisher for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Amy.
2,642 reviews2,023 followers
October 24, 2016
Full review on www.novelgossip.com

Lake Union has done it again! They are quickly becoming one of my most valued and trusted publishers, it’s getting to the point where I’ll read anything they publish. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from this one, but when this gorgeous book showed up in my mailbox, I was immediately interested, then I read the blurb and was even more intrigued. I can’t even imagine not knowing anything about my parents, the uncertainty and heartbreak must be devastating.

Nina Popkin is one of those characters that grabs the reader from page one and holds on tightly. I immediately took to her and felt a connection to her, she has a funny self deprecating sense of humor, she’s smart and sharp, and she’s raw and real. She’s recently divorced, with no children and her adoptive mother passed away. She’s all alone, with the exception of her friend Melanie, and she has a deep longing to reconnect with her birth mother. When the opportunity to finally find her mom presents itself,she is thrilled beyond belief.

Lindy is the sister that Nina never knew she had. She always assumed that she was her birth mothers only child and this revelation fills Nina’s heart with longing and love. Lindy doesn’t feel the same way whatsoever, she wants her past to stay there and she has no desire to form any kind of relationship with either Nina or their mom, Phoebe. But Nina is an eternal optimist and she’s not giving up on reuniting her family without a fight.

This story is told mainly from Nina and Lindy’s point of view, but there are pivotal chapters told from Phoebe’s perspective as well. Though they may share DNA, these three have very little in common. Lindy is an anxiety ridden wife and mom to three young children. She’s made a happy and successful life for herself and has no desire to shake up her perfect existence. Phoebe is a loner who has spent the last thirty three years since she gave the girls up for adoption in pain and sorrow. Can these women unite and try to sort through their feelings about their shared history together? Or is it too late for a chance at true family happiness?

The character development here is outstanding. Nina is an emotional wreck at the beginning, but soon she meets Carter, a divorced dad of two teenagers that brings some love and light back into her life. Tyler and Indigo are his kids, and soon Nina finds herself thrust into a parental role with them. She’s wanted to be a part of a real family for so long that she clings to them, even to her own detriment. Lindy thinks she’s happy and that her life is picture perfect, but when she meets Nina, she soon finds that maybe she has been longing for something more as well. Phoebe is pretty cold and closed off, but by the end we see a whole new side to her and there is an understanding about her past actions.

I kept thinking about Emily Giffin’s books while reading this, it had some very similar qualities to her books and I mean that in the best way as she’s written some of my favorite books. This was such a heartfelt and tender read, but Dawson infused it with so many quirky and fun moments that there were times I was smiling through my tears. All of these women will stay with me for awhile, but Nina especially left a mark on heart. I wholeheartedly recommend this one for anyone who likes writers like Giffin, but also anyone who longs for a raw and real story about family.
Profile Image for Christine Zibas.
382 reviews36 followers
February 7, 2017

"Really, how could she have known how much she would miss?"


Is it possible for a chick lit book about a woman searching for her birth mother to be lighthearted? In the case of The Survivor's Guide to Family Happiness, the answer is a resounding yes. That makes the lessons conveyed by this novel all the easier going down.

At first, it seems the book is just about a woman, recently divorced, whose adopted mother just died, who is searching for some answers about her past. She wants, like any adopted child, to know who her birth mother was and why she gave her up.

Nina (the main character) first discovers she has a sister, who isn't really interested in knowing her or finding their birth mother. There's also a surrogate family via Nina's new boyfriend (much older and with teen-aged children). So, the book is about dysfunctional families (is there any other kind?), but it's also about something deeper.

Having thought about the book awhile since finishing, a deeper theme has bubbled up: That the fear of taking chances really denies us so much in life. This is particularly true when we shut people out because it would simply be easier not to introduce more complications to our already full lives.

The other general theme is that it's important to accept people on their own terms. They tell us who they are, and we need to respect that. However, it doesn't give us the "out" of giving up on them, either (as will become apparent with the Phoebe character). A little discomfort and persistence can truly pay off.

Relationships, especially family relationships, are complicated. That doesn't mean they are any less valuable for making us work so hard to achieve them.


Thanks to Good Reads and Lake Union Publishing for allowing me to read this book.
Profile Image for Kathleen.
1,085 reviews
May 31, 2020
The Survivor's Guide to Surviving Happiness by Maddie Dawson


***Special thanks to author Maddie Dawson, and also to NetGalley and the publisher for a digital ARC of The Survivor's Guide to Family Happiness. The thoughts expressed here are my own.

I enjoy reading books about families, and this one was great. I was attracted to the beautiful colourful cover on this book. After her adopted mother dies, Nina's desire to find her birth mother is renewed. The characters were well developed and relateable. I appreciated the laugh out-loud moments in this story.
Nina's moving, ridiculous, tragic, and transcendent journey becomes a love story providing that real family has nothing to do with DNA.
I highly recommend The Survivor's Guide to Family Happiness to all who enjoy reading books about families.
4.5 stars out of 5
Profile Image for Deborah Blanchard.
379 reviews110 followers
November 7, 2016
This is a beautiful, crazy, angst filled book. It is a book about finding ones self and finding love and happiness. It is also about so much more. It is about family drama. It is at once heartfelt, heartbreaking and humorous. This is the story of Nina, Lindy and Phoebe. A family bound by blood. All are so different from each other and yet so alike, if that makes any sense. It is told from three different perspectives, that of the three main characters. It has alternating chapters and does this effortlessly and with a smooth flow that transitions well. I, actually, preferred this way of telling this story, it just works so well. The characters are very complex and so true to life. They are very well developed. They may drive you a little crazy at times because they lead such funny and complicated lives. Nina is grief stricken and full of the unknown, Lindy is definitely OCD and suffers from anxiety, Phoebe has fear, anxiety and guilt. We all have our crosses to bear, don't we? How do any of us survive? It is exquisitely written and flows well., I felt a variety of emotions with this book, happiness, sadness, laughter and tears. I loved this book and you will too. I highly recommend this one.
Profile Image for Andrea.
915 reviews188 followers
January 12, 2020
Whew!! This one took me forever to read, not because it was uninteresting but the distraction of the Holidays was irresistible !!

I ADORED Dawson’s Matchmaking For Beginners as it was quirky, fun and completely engaging. So start there if you’re new to Dawson. This book wasn’t quite so sparkly ✨ but it was lovely In its own right.

I’m off to read Dawson’s entire backlist. I’m guessing they are a sure thing.
59 reviews2 followers
January 21, 2018
I went into this book with rather high expectations, which I realize now was a mistake, as those expectations were far from met. I also felt the Goodreads premise of this book did not accurately represent the story that unfolded here, as the interactions between Nina and Lindy with Phoebe were more of a subplot, with Nina's tumultuous relationship with the Sanborns taking center stage. And the Sanborns were, in the opinion of this reader, the reason why this book did not resonate with me.

Did I miss something with Kayla/Indigo? Because I saw her as nothing less than a narcissistic, insufferable brat. For the record, I support animal activism, but when Indigo showed any shred of a redeeming quality, it went against all the character development that had led up to said redeeming quality. I believe it made me like Nina less because of the relationship she had with this little hellion, not having any urge to put this child in her place on a regular basis. As for Carter, he started off perfectly fine as a love interest for Nina, but turned into an arrogant, floundering idiot midway through. I was hardly rooting for these two by novel's end.

One of my other biggest problems with this novel is the lack of consistency with all or most of the main characters. Their development did not feel completely hashed out, more just basing actions on how the author felt at that moment of creation. And it's not that I didn't understand why the characters did what they did for the sake of the book's central theme, nor was my awareness of real people walking around as we speak who fit the bill in terms of these characters, it just wasn't my taste.

I almost wished this novel had been done from Lindy's point of view instead of Nina's, as it would have been a more favorable dynamic for me. While Lindy was not without her faults, between her husband and her adoptive mother, she had much more inner conflict that had to unravel, and Nina's quirkiness taking a backseat to Lindy might have made more sense, or even have been more enjoyable, to this reader.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Mary (Marbear).
284 reviews64 followers
February 7, 2017
There are not enough stars for this book. Maddie Dawson hits one out of the park. We meet Nina. Her adopted mother had passed away and she's on a mission to found her real mom. She learns she has a sister, Lindy. They set out to find their real mom. Nina is also trying to find love and find true happiness. She meets Carter and his two crazy teenagers. Nina learns to no love is perfect and families don't come ready made. You have to work at love and family to make it work. You will laugh with her and cry too. Does Nina found love and happiness? I'm not telling. Read the book for yourself. Sit down and enjoy the ride.
Profile Image for DJ Sakata.
3,299 reviews1,779 followers
November 7, 2016
Favorite Quotes:

Even after I finally took the plunge and got married, Dan and I lasted just six months after the wedding, and then one night he took me out to dinner and told me he'd met Julie, and that she had the magic sauce he'd been looking for, so surely I could see that he had to leave, didn't I, because even though he really, really, really like me, and maybe would always love me at some level, it wasn't the level that really counted with his shadow side and his mystical side and the side of him that wanted to turn vegan and loll about in hot tubs. He said all this as well as some other crap you simply can't believe someone would actually say to you out loud, especially someone you love. Loved at some level.

I was far from being the only adopted kid in my circle. For reasons I've never understood, our quiet little Catholic neighborhood in Bernford had tons of them. Five on every block, at least. It was as though there'd been a Give Your Baby Away decade, and unplanned-for kids had been handed out randomly to strangers in town.

I actually had cried so much my eyelids were chapped. There ought to be a special cosmetic for that. Grief-Erase, they could call it.

Don't try to make friends with me over My Little Pony. Have some respect for yourself.

I wanted nothing more than to reach over and start pummeling her right there and then. Yes, while I was driving. After that wave passed, I then wanted to slam on the brakes and push her onto the side of the road and drive away, cackling. Ha ha ha, teenaged girls!

She was one of those women who looked like she was in full control, always aware of which pocket of her eight-pocket L.L. Bean vest she last placed her self-confidence in.


My Review:

The Survivors Guide to Family Happiness was a pure delight, a feast of words, a banquet of wit, and an engrossing read. I adored every fascinating character, each well-chosen word, and every single one of the myriad threads that were cleverly woven into a beautiful tapestry of a tale. It was phenomenally well-written from multiple points of view. I was enthralled by the rich layers that effortlessly constructing the story with amusing observations, witty insights, and the insider anecdotes used to present the rather serious life transitions that each character was bringing to the story, as well as the multiple revelations brought on by the unraveling of a thirty-three-year-old secret. And I just love unraveling deep dark secrets. The writing was clever, emotive, crisp, and extraordinarily engaging. I frequently smirked, chortled, and loudly laughed aloud, but there were also emotionally stirring scenes that squeezed my heart. The pacing of the story was ingenious with the crafty Ms. Dawson doling out tasty morsels to whet my appetite yet kept me hungry, curious, and anxious for the undoubtedly delectable main course to be served, while I also enjoyed savoring each nugget as it came along. And I was more than sated by the satisfying conclusion, although I always desire more with a story this exceptional. Maddie Dawson must have a magical pen as she is a mega wordsmith and currently has top-billing of my list of favorites.
Profile Image for Lynn (Smile24k).
162 reviews8 followers
December 21, 2018
This book grew on me to the point where I ended up really enjoying it and I was sad when it ended. To add to the summary, a woman (Nina) who was adopted as a toddler yearns to find her biological family. Although she was raised by loving and supportive parents, she never felt like she belonged to them. She was determined to find "her" family and not only to find them, but to make them love and want her.

At first I did not care for Nina. I thought she was a little too pushy in an everyone must be my friend kind of way. And, her overwhelming need to be accepted didn't jive with my be independent mindset. But, just like with almost every other character in the book, I started to find her pushy neediness to be endearing. It turns out that she also has a sister who was adopted and it was interesting to see how being put up for adoption effected them both so differently. One was needy and the other controlling, but in the end, they were both just two little girls trying to make sense of why their mother gave them away.

This was sort of an interesting look at adoption and trying to find out who you really are. I wish that there was a little more appreciation for the adoptive parents, especially since they were good adoptive parents. There is a little at the end. I think the main takeaway for the main character, and the reader, is that blood alone does not determine where you belong. It can definitely help you understand who you are, but where you belong and who your "family" is, is what you make it.

Lastly, one thing I appreciated about this book was that while there was a "happily ever after moment" it wasn't so sweet as to make it unrealistic. I would definitely read another book by this author and have already started looking at her other titles. I love the fact that this author writes books about women over the age of 30.
Profile Image for Gabi Coatsworth.
Author 9 books203 followers
December 19, 2016
Maddie Dawson's great talent is for making me (and I guess other readers) understand that imperfect relationships are the best we can hope for, and that's fine. This book includes the relationship between adopted girls and their birth mother, the birth mother and her high school romances, one of the daughters' search for a family she can call her own, her relationship with her new-found sister, and her adoptive mother. It may sound like a lot, but the novel handles all of it seamlessly, without overloading the reader. This is a great read, especially if you're wondering whether any relationhip can ever be perfect. Cheer up - a real relationship is probably better than a perfect one.
Profile Image for Jennifer ~ TarHeelReader.
2,785 reviews31.9k followers
November 30, 2016
4.5 stars. Thanks to Goodreads' First Reads, I read this treasure of a book about family. Laugh out loud moments, relatable characters with great depth, and sage family wisdom, this book was adorable. I enjoy reading about families and this book reminded me why. Highly recommended for fans of family fiction.
Profile Image for Lynne Spreen.
Author 23 books225 followers
September 19, 2021
Wow, what a page-turner. This book is the story of Nina, who was adopted. As the story begins, Nina is grieving her mother who just died of cancer. Her father died years ago. Completely alone, except for her great friend and boss, Melanie, Nina sets out to find her birth family. In the course of it we get to know her birth sister, Lindy, her oddball mother, Phoebe, and a whole cast of interesting and unique characters. Also, this is a romance with an older man (Nina is 35, Carson is 50) who has teenagers.

There are two things I loved about this story. First, the author's writing style. When do you LOL enough to force your husband to listen to passages from a book? And two, the characters are seriously multi-dimensional people, who sometimes veer toward improvement but then don't. But then do. Like actual humans. The ending is satisfying. Recommended.
Profile Image for Julianna Zieno.
351 reviews12 followers
March 14, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨ (4.5)
Overall I really enjoyed this one! Hit me in the feels and reminded me that it’s not so much about belonging but about finding people who make you feel like you belong and care about you. Nina goes on a quest to find her birth mother and meets a fun cast of characters along the way. Another feel good satisfying story with a touch of romance and good vibes. I would recommend this to pretty much everyone! Not a five star for me because it felt too easy at parts but it is a romance novel so we love when stuff works out 🤣
Profile Image for Susan Peterson.
1,997 reviews381 followers
August 6, 2020
Warm and funny and real

This book is warm and funny and real and messy—a story about families and love with characters who are flawed and wonderful. I laughed and I cried and I was swept away by it all.
Profile Image for Laurie • The Baking Bookworm.
1,809 reviews517 followers
November 16, 2016
This book explores family and all it's various forms and variations. From the relationship between mothers and daughters, parents and their kids to siblings. Add in the complicated feelings surrounding adoption and this book has a lot going on.

The story is told via the different perspectives of three women - Nina, Phoebe and Lindy - who are each eccentric in their own rights but while they are connected by blood they have been separated by a decision made several decades before. These women have different life experiences and want different things out of their relationships with each other. I think their varied reactions to the adoption gives the reader a well-rounded look at the issue of adoption but I feel that one point of view was missing - the perspective of Lindy's adoptive mom. Readers get a glimpse, but a deeper, heart-felt look into how she felt seeing her daughter connect with her birth mom would have been touching and added another layer to the adoption issue.

The book focuses mainly on Nina who has a desperate need for family after the loss of her adoptive mother. She's almost obsessive in her need to connect with people who are 'hers'. I will admit that I didn't always like Nina with her erratic and desperately needy behaviour. Honestly, sometimes I wanted to shake some sense into her - especially when she becomes a doormat to her new 'family'. She is a woman who wants to belong at any cost and she loses herself a little in the process but thankfully she goes through a metamorphosis which I enjoyed witnessing. She's a positive person who imagines the best in situations (even if those dreams are unrealistic) and I suppose the cynic in me clashed a bit with her character.

Readers also get a very different look at adoption through the eyes of Lindy, Nina's newly found sister as well as Phoebe, the mother who gave them up for adoption over 30 years before. I really clicked with Lindy's story line and wish that she was given more page time. Reader's get a look into Lindy's hectic life and what she does to compensate for her lack of control but I would have liked to have known more about her - what was it like growing up in a large family, how did things progress with her relationship with her adoptive mother, did she still feel the obsessive need to count things?

The book started off strong with these varied characters and the mystery surrounding the reason for the adoption and my emotions ran the gamut with this book. I enjoyed getting into the nitty-gritty of these complicated family relationships. I liked that Nina's romantic life wasn't as easy road and how my emotions relating to that relationship went all over the place - from 'awwww, that's sweet' to 'dump him, now!' to a realistic, yet satisfying ending. But other times I felt the energy lagged and I didn't quite like or want to know more about Nina. And then the author picks up the pace in the last third of the book and ends with a wonderful epilogue that brings things full circle and wonderfully imperfect. This is why I'm sitting here struggling with my rating.

Dawson's writing is strong, occasionally witty and has a very heart-felt feel to it. Her characters were complicated and even though I didn't like many of the choices one of them made (Nina, I'm looking at you) I still felt they were accurately drawn and believable.

I enjoyed this book for what it is - a look at familial relationships in all their (occasionally) messy and wonderful stuff. Relationships - familial, parental and romantic - are hard, hectic and hopefully wonderful things.

Disclaimer: My sincere thanks to TLC Book Tours for providing me with a complimentary paperback copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Profile Image for Cindy Roesel.
Author 1 book69 followers
November 1, 2016
Three women, three lives, and one chance to become a family … whether they want to or not.

WARNING: Author, Maddie Dawson’s new novel, SURVIVOR’S GUIDE TO FAMILY HAPPINESS (Lake Union Publishing) may cause tears, the desire to hug everyone around you, uncontrollable laughter or all of the above.

Nina Popkin is searching for her birth mother. Newly orphaned, recently divorced, and wandering aimlessly, she’s spent her life looking into strangers’ faces, fantasizing they’re related to her. Now at thirty-five, she’s ready for some real answers.

The last thing Lindy McIntyre needs or wants is someone like Nina, bursting into her life, announcing they’re sisters and begging her to help hunt down their mother. She’s married to a successful man, has three children and a beautiful home. She’s busy with her lucrative salon, “A Little Piece of Heaven” and the occasional annoying anxiety attack.

Nina is determined to put her birth family back together. Her search for their mother at the Catholic adoption agency where they were left, turns up Phoebe Mullen, a former member of the 80’s band, Lulu & the Starbabies, a tough-talking broad convinced she has nothing to offer. Eventually they end up sharing stories and secrets, which add up to a messy, unpredictable family that’s nothing like Nina pictured. But that may be exactly what she needs. Nina, Lindy and Phoebe getting together turns into a love story proving that real family has nothing to do with DNA.

“All these years, and you are right now in the same location as your mother. Look at her! Would you have ever passed her on the street and known you belonged with her?”

Dawson’s effortless storytelling once again shines, as she fills the narrative with complex and relatable characters that you’ll remember long after you’ve read the last page.
Profile Image for Michelle Whittaker.
41 reviews1 follower
June 12, 2018
There are multiple reasons why I thought this book was just "ok".

First, I am adopted, which this is an overall theme of this book. Nina and Lindy were both biological sisters who find each other and share a journey to find their mom and learn their family history. I have to admit it was a bit insulting how the author communicated these two woman. They were weak. They had baggage and in many ways were neurotic. They struggled with identity issues and struggled with "Who am I" and a sense of not belonging. Both girls grew up in loving homes (I call them girls as they were weak - definitely not strong women) and this book minimized all their adopted parents and families value. In the end they do discover that their sense of belonging and value comes from within, but it was to little to late for me. Overall, the book was just ok.
Profile Image for Claudia .
422 reviews
July 10, 2016
It took me one day to finish this book, I couldn’t get enough of Nina, she was funny and she wanted a family, someone to belong to. I really understood her, she is a little bit like me. Nina and her sister got adopted by different families, they lived a very different life but, they didn’t know that they were living so close to each other. Nina had a good heart, even after all the suffering and the wanting, she wanted to be happy and I was so glad she did, at the end. She truly deserved and I really, adored this book! I always loved Maddie Dawson, but this one was, in my opinion her best yet! I will recommend to everybody!!!
Thanks to the publishers for sending me a copy for a review.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Christina.
295 reviews19 followers
September 4, 2016
Full review at http://www.tomesandtequila.com/2016/0...

Every once in awhile you pick up a book, and know within the first couple of sentences that it's going to be a favorite. The writing style speaks to you. You want to be best friends with a character. You find yourself invested in their struggles. You are rooting for them with all of your might. I felt this way about the character Nina Popkin in the book The Survivor's Guide to Family Happiness by Maddie Dawson.

Thanks to Netgalley and Lake Union Publishing for sending me this book to review!
Profile Image for Maison Koala.
364 reviews12 followers
December 5, 2020
Converrete con me che DIECI giorni in tempi languidi di lockdown per terminare una saga famigliare americana possono significare solo due cose: o che la trama era così articolata, luminosa ed avvincente che si è scelto di centellinarla al pari di un ottimo millesimato d’annata... o che la storia era così piatta e incolore e la scrittura talmente didascalica e imbottita di cliché da renderci soporifero il consueto - di norma attesissimo - momento della lettura serale.

Ma vi lascio qualche ispirato abstract, così indovinate da voi;)

~ Mentre aspettavo che venisse a prendermi, mi sedetti sul letto di mia madre e scrissi una lista dei motivi per non innamorarmi di Carter Sanborn, p. 53

~ Sento che è una bugia persino da qua in Oklahoma, p. 381

~ Aveva gli occhi come quelli di un golden retriever che ha solo bisogno d’amore, p. 405

E comunque vi ho risparmiato la lista di cui al primo punto, che tra le voci ricomprendeva:

~ non è proprio quello che sto cercando: polo, giacca a vento e scarpe da barca
~ è contrario alle diete senza glutine.

E no, non è un libro ironico. Non c’è traccia di ironia neanche per sbaglio e questa, mi spiace, ma per me è le ciliegina sulla torta indigesta cui do due stelle e non zero giusto perché ho avuto voglia di vedere come andava a finire.

Più che altro, di finirlo.
Profile Image for Olga Godim.
Author 12 books85 followers
Read
March 10, 2022
DNF at 45%
I'm tired of the misery of all the characters. I kept waiting for something good to happen to someone, but so far, nothing had. They all suffer, suffer, suffer. Lots of angst and snot and sniffling. The author would probably make me wait until the end of the book to introduce a happy ending or its equivalent. I don't have such a long attention span. Besides, all the POV heroines are sort-of amorphous. I can't get hold of either of their personalities. They are not living women, I don't believe their endless tragedies, so their suffering feels remote, theoretical, without striking an emotional cord of my own. So, DNF.
Profile Image for Kara Thomas.
1,642 reviews16 followers
April 15, 2022
I like Maddie Dawson. Her books are generally feel good but just aren’t all fluff. They tackle some pretty big issues. The main one of this book was abandonment through a variety of avenues. I liked most of the characters in this one. If you are looking for a good chic lit that not a lot of people are going to know about, I suggest getting this one.
Profile Image for Barbara.
650 reviews81 followers
November 23, 2016

Baer Books, books, authors and everything biblio

Monday, November 14, 2016

This was a great feel good story and would make a wonderful gift for friends and family. Giveaway of one copy for a lucky reader that enters via my Facebook Blog/Group, Baer Books.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/89927...

Nina Popkin always knew she was adopted. She loved her adoptive parents, but she always felt somehow that she didn't belong, even though she knew they loved her more than anything. She was the child they could not have. That didn't stop her from wondering if people she passed on the street were related to her. Nina and her best friend growing up, Melanie, used to make up scenarios about people that Nina might actually be related to. Even now that Nina is an adult she still has those thoughts about who her birth mother was.

Nina's life has gone off the rails. She's thirty-five, recently divorced, but still calls and texts her ex as if nothing's change. Dan is now remarried to Julie, whom he met six months after marrying Nina. He broke it to Nina one night by saying about Julie, "she had the magic sauce he'd been looking for. So, surely she could see that he had to leave, because even though he really, really, liked her, and maybe would always love her on some level, it wasn't the level that really counted with his shadow side and his mystical side and the side of him that wanted to turn vegan and loll about in hot tubs." Her adopted mom has just passed away from cancer, so Nina finds herself lost and confused, BUT she's still looking for answers. She WANTS to find her birth mother.

Lyndy McIntyre is focused, busy, and successful, yet suffering from horrible anxiety and a touch of OCD. Her hair salon & spa are totally successful, but somehow she just doesn't think she measures up. When Nina Popkin turns up in her life and she finds out they're sisters, that seems like the last thing she needs, but Nina keeps popping up and trying to force a relationship.

The only good thing to happen to Nina in the midst of the craziness that is her life? Carter Sanborn. He's an attractive, fun-loving guy who really likes Nina, but she can't seem to accept him. She makes a list of reasons not to fall in love with him. They include, 1)Too old, WAY TOO OLD, 2) Divorced, until very recently he was still living with his ex-wife 3) Does not support glutton-free diet (okay, she crossed that one off!) 4) Not looking for a relationship now 5) I am sad 6) My mother died 7) My ex-husband fell in love with his bank teller 8) Terrifying teenage kids.

The title says it all and you will have to read the book to see if Nina is successful in surviving her crazy life. I enjoyed the witty writing style of Maddie Dawson (this is my first book by her). Her quirky characters will certainly remind you of someone you know or you will feel like you'd like to be friends with them for sure. I found myself wanting Nina to be successful in trying to "make" her family, with Lyndy and their birth mother, who turns out to be another colorful character, Phoebe Mullen, who Nina tracks down with the reluctant help of Lyndy.

What happens, even without Nina realizing is family is not just blood & DNA, it's those people that are there for us, to dry our tears, to give us a hug when we feel alone, and provide love when we feel we are not worthy.

Thank you TLC Book Tours for the opportunity to read and review this book.

Profile Image for Maridimi.
34 reviews1 follower
January 3, 2022
Had my hopes up after liking "The Opposite of Maybe", but it turns out it's just an 'Okay' book for me with no re-reading value, although I still like the author and am planning to read her future books. Looking back now, I can only think: "Wish the story had been as fantastic as the cover!"
But:
1. I didn't like the characters so much.
Instead, I only liked bits and parts, like:
-the strong, attention-catching beginning
-the red curly hair,
-Nina's mind getting carried away with fantasies,
-Lindy's counting tick,
-Lindy's strive to reach family perfection despite her crazy schedule (I guess busy, beautiful, workaholic Lindy who strove to feed healthy food to her children AND manage work, and thus needed ta psychologist or a yoga instructor to tell her how to relieve stress, became my favourite character right after her Morning Routine scene)
-the fact that the sisters already knew each other (so much to explore about it!)
-their mother's hard attitude, hiding love behind guilt, yet never becoming what they wished for - or, as beautifully delivered towards the end, the one who would have said comforting words to Nina was the mother who had raised her;
-the way Nina knew how not to push people to scare them away yet pushing very hard at the same time (as she said, "unconsciously forcing everyone to gather around her").

However,
-I truly disliked Carter because of his irresponsibility as a father, and I'm glad he changed philosofy in the end but I still can't see why he was a good match for Nina, she could have been happy with somebody else - I wasn't really rooting for them.
-As for Indigo...As a character, she looked realistic enough to have her own story, being more complete than other secondary characters. Yet... that's exactly why I didn't like her. This is not her story. It's like the author insistently pushed her into the main characters scenes because the author herself obviously liked her a lot, but as a reader, I wasn't convinced by the teenager who's both a hard-working student AND a rebel. It can't be both, she would either go down one path or the other. She also delivered all the helpful lines in scenes where no one else spoke, so that the plot could move on. But why would a group of capable adults need to rely on her? Why did nobody ever apart from her brother tell her she was being silly?
-Dialogues weren't engaging or realistic enough at times (I tried to picture it happening live - and sometimes it felt weird, as if the characters were reading from a script. It came out flat) I know it's not written to be a play script, but it still felt too rehearsed. Also, in scenes with multiple characters, only one of them had their actions described while the others were conveniently "inactive" (made me think that the author couldn't handle multiple characters? of course it was done on purpose, it was a 1st person pov, but still, the character could at least notice what the others were doing and show it to us instead of offering partial blindless.
-Finally, and most importantly, at the end of the book none of the characters really "stayed" with me, compared to her previous book. (Thankfully, the next one is better, which makes me glad that I decied to stick to this author.) In the end, I feel that the author created a story with so much potential but didn't fully take advantage of it. It could have turned out so much better!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Debbie.
474 reviews2 followers
September 11, 2019
I loved this book. I wanted to be friends with Nina or just spend more time with her! I felt strangely like our personalities were morphed together somehow, although I was never an orphan. I just felt happy and enjoyed my time with this story.

I loved Matchmaking for Beginners and I will look for more by this author.
Profile Image for Just Commonly.
755 reviews108 followers
November 11, 2016
The Survivor's Guide to Family Happiness by Maddie Dawson is about belonging; belonging to someone and to one's self. There's a certain oddity and quirkiness about this book and its characters, and I think that makes it work. It works because it doesn't dwell on the poignancy of adoption and what it means to different people, but give it something catchy with its distinct eccentricity. I liked the fact that we have viewpoints of both Nina and Lindy, which are fairly polar opposites when it comes to what being adopted meant to them. Then add in Phoebe, the mother who gave them up for adoption, gives it a well-rounded take on what factors are in play before and after.

Nina's search to finding where or to whom does she belong leads her to a potential, yet possibly temporary "family." A family that may need her, but does it mean one she can keep? Belonging is such a philosophical word, don't you think? And when it comes to family happiness, one's idealistic idea may not be what one needs or the truth in what it entails. The Survivor's Guide to Family Happiness is Nina's journey, and possibly adding in Lindy's as well, though inconclusive.

It reads well, and the author's writing style is interesting, which I do like. Though the plot starts strong, it kind of plateaus a bit in the middle, creating a slight drag when trying to read through. However, it does pick back up with great momentum two-thirds in. In all, The Survivor's Guide to Family Happiness was surprisingly enjoyable, witty and downright messy, but messy may very well be what it means to be family.

"The slightest bit delusional...but filled with hope and optimism." (244)


This review first appeared on Just Commonly blog.

For my clean readers, there are minor profanity and mentioned of intimacy but not graphic.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the author/publisher. I was not required to write a positive review, and have not been compensated for this. This is my honest opinion.
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