NOTE: Submission is Not Enough is the 12th full length story in the Masters and Mercenaries series. I personally feel that reading Dominance Never Dies (the previous book in the series) at a minimum would provide a better understanding of how Theo and Erin got to this point. That being said, it is not necessary and Submission is Not Enough can be read as a standalone if desired because it does contain sufficient details to fill you in on their backstory.
Theo may be back in Dallas in the McKay- Taggart fold, but he is not really back. His identity has been stripped away along with his memories, and although everyone seems to know him, he has very little recollection of anyone around him. It is extremely disconcerting to know that he should feel something for these people but now there is only numbness where there used to be love and affection. There is one exception for him though. Something about Erin still calls to him instinctively despite the programming the nasty doctor used on him to try to make him forget about her. He struggles with the fact that every time he closes his eyes, visions or memories of her drift into his dreams and he ends up waking up screaming and in a cold sweat after dream-Theo murders her.
His whole existence is basically a struggle at this point. Trying to remember his old life causes him physical pain to the point of migraines and nausea thanks to the memory-erasing drug and mental programming courtesy of Hope. Add in that he is constantly surrounded by people who remember who he used to be and who are silently judging him for not wanting to meet the child he fathered but doesn't know, and he is drowning under the weight of crushing expectations. The only one who has a prayer of truly understanding what he is going through is Robert, one of Hope's supersoldiers that escaped with Theo and a man who has become his only friend. While Theo is experiencing flashes of memories, Robert remembers nothing at all and he is embracing learning about the world again. He tries his best to help Theo but even he cannot completely fathom the turmoil his friend is experiencing.
What Robert didn’t understand, couldn’t possibly, was that he was free. Yes, he’d been through something horrible and he had no memory of his past, but Robert also didn’t have this crushing sense of letting everyone down because he couldn’t possibly feel for them what they felt for him.
They loved a ghost, a Theo he couldn’t possibly be again.
Erin and Theo have been working with Kai for therapy sessions, but clearly it isn't working as they had hoped so Erin decides it is time to change things up. Everyone, including her, has been treating Theo with kid gloves, but it is time for the gloves to come off and let him see the real her: the ball busting badass who can put him on his butt as easily as smiling at him and who won't let him get away with anything or walk all over her. That version of Erin definitely gets a spark of recognition and response from Theo, so his big brother gets an idea. It's time for Master Theo to make a comeback in attempt to regain control in some aspect of his life; of course Big Tag will also stack the deck in Erin's favor if at all possible so that they have a chance to reconnect in another way without the pressure of the past getting in the way.
Experiencing Theo's struggle was painful to read for me and I had to try to put into perspective along the way. Like his family, I had the perception of the more carefree and happy man he used to be, and the new version of Theo is very different. He is darker after everything he has been through, and without the lens of his memories and experiences, he doesn't react or feel the same way that he used to. The drugs and torture left him a shadow of the man he used to be although glimpses of pre-Hope Theo still shine through now and then. The one constant through it all is his connection with Erin. It cannot be severed despite the madness and uncertainty all around them and their chemistry is still off the charts as they experience some seriously scorching moments between the fear and uncertainty creeping into Theo's mind. But the question remains: can she live with the man who returned to Dallas knowing that the man she fell in love with will never completely return?
As they get to know each all over again, it isn't easy particularly since the thought of TJ still terrifies him and he won't even go near the boy if he can avoid it. His instinct to protect is still ingrained in his psyche, and he worries constantly about hurting Erin or the baby, either physically or emotionally, without realizing that his reactions are already causing pain. There was one moment that happened that was just SO Erin that it made me chuckle even as Theo marveled at it.
I don’t think that anything fazes that woman. I woke up screaming my head off and she hit me with a pillow and told me to stop crying like a girl and go back to sleep. I tried to explain to her that I’d murdered her in my dreams and she snorted and said that was the only place I would ever be doing that. Then she cuddled against me and started snoring again.
Before they know it, danger is invading their world again, and this time TJ is a target too. Hope has no intention of letting Theo escape her clutches, and she is back in the picture all too soon. The whole McKay- Taggart team scrambles to try to protect Theo, Erin and the baby as the action ramps up. Theo has to make a choice: does he send Erin and TJ away for their own protection and his own peace of mind? Or does he finally find a reason to reclaim his life and the future that is being offered to him?
I enjoyed Erin and Theo's journey to reconnect even as I had to try to wrap my mind around the new Theo at times. There was plenty happening in parallel to their story too as both old and newfound friends have to face their painful pasts and look for a way to move forward. The foundation for future relationships is being laid along the way, and I am looking forward to the continuation of this wonderful series!