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Sins of the Family
"It wasn't until I had finally made something of my life that I realised I hadn't ever escaped Gran completely. I felt hollow and incomplete. To be totally free, I needed to understand why she behaved the way she did."
Felicity grew up with her single mum and grandparents in a tiny house in Scarborough. Her dad lived nearby but she was never allowed to meet his family. It was the first secret of many. Another was her Gran's violence towards her, and the psychological abuse that blighted her childhood. All Felicity knew was that Gran's mother had gone to prison, and that her grandmother's suffering somehow excused everything. When Felicity researched her family history, she was led back to the shocking truth about her great-grandmother Emily Swann, a brutalised wife hung for murdering her husband. Emily's children were shamed, the family broken apart, the tragedy impacting on generations to come. Could Felicity finally break free of the damaging cycle, and lay the past to rest?
Felicity grew up with her single mum and grandparents in a tiny house in Scarborough. Her dad lived nearby but she was never allowed to meet his family. It was the first secret of many. Another was her Gran's violence towards her, and the psychological abuse that blighted her childhood. All Felicity knew was that Gran's mother had gone to prison, and that her grandmother's suffering somehow excused everything. When Felicity researched her family history, she was led back to the shocking truth about her great-grandmother Emily Swann, a brutalised wife hung for murdering her husband. Emily's children were shamed, the family broken apart, the tragedy impacting on generations to come. Could Felicity finally break free of the damaging cycle, and lay the past to rest?
- GenresNonfictionMemoirHistory
320 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2016
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288 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews
October 9, 2016
I feel like it took me forever to finish this book. That is unusual for me. It didn't completely grab me so it was easy to put it down for a few days at a time. But I have to say, I did like it. I thought it was interesting, especially looking into the past stories of her older relatives. It got a bit monotonous near the end though. I felt like the author was dragging it out and filling space. I even started losing track of peoples' names wondering, "who is Emma/Albert?" I was also a bit disappointed by the ending. It felt like the questions that basically guided the entire book were left unanswered. So I'd rate it a solid 3 until the last 4 chapters or so. Then it dropped to a 2.
November 22, 2016
At first I thought I couldn't read this. First few pages made me so angry at the situation. But I quickly got into it and read it in two days. Loved it. Especially the fact that it is a true story and the author included some real photos in the book.
September 12, 2016
Great memoir, ranks among the best.
The home in which Felicity Davis grew up was anything but normal. It included her Mum, a passive but harmless soul, her grandfather, a kind and endearing man, and her grandmother, who displayed odd and cruel behaviour toward her granddaughter. Felicity's father, whom she visited regularly with her mum, lived elsewhere and he did not acknowledge Felicity's real name. In later life, Felicity decided to delve into past generations of her family tree to find out what factors may have been at play in leading to her grandmother becoming such a strange and abusive woman to her.
In Sins of the Family, Felicity Davis interweaves her own personal struggles with her mission in life with the tragedies endured by her ancestors. She takes the reader back to the infamous 1866 coal mine explosion in Barnsley, in which her great great grandparents lost two sons, to the hanging in 1903 of her great grandmother and her alleged lover for murdering her abusive husband, Felicity's great grandfather. The impact that this shocking event must have had on the psyche of Felicity's grandmother, a small child at the time when her mother was hanged and her father murdered, goes a long way toward explaining the troubled and bitter soul into which she matured.
This is a compelling read, centered around a heart-rending and dark family history. The author shows how the tribulations suffered by one generation can have an impact on subsequent ones. Through her uncovering of the past and most important, her willingness to forgive, Felicity turns her own life around and provides it with a sense of purpose. The author shows an honesty that is to be admired and a meticulous attention to detail that is most impressive. It is a great memoir that ranks among the best.
The home in which Felicity Davis grew up was anything but normal. It included her Mum, a passive but harmless soul, her grandfather, a kind and endearing man, and her grandmother, who displayed odd and cruel behaviour toward her granddaughter. Felicity's father, whom she visited regularly with her mum, lived elsewhere and he did not acknowledge Felicity's real name. In later life, Felicity decided to delve into past generations of her family tree to find out what factors may have been at play in leading to her grandmother becoming such a strange and abusive woman to her.
In Sins of the Family, Felicity Davis interweaves her own personal struggles with her mission in life with the tragedies endured by her ancestors. She takes the reader back to the infamous 1866 coal mine explosion in Barnsley, in which her great great grandparents lost two sons, to the hanging in 1903 of her great grandmother and her alleged lover for murdering her abusive husband, Felicity's great grandfather. The impact that this shocking event must have had on the psyche of Felicity's grandmother, a small child at the time when her mother was hanged and her father murdered, goes a long way toward explaining the troubled and bitter soul into which she matured.
This is a compelling read, centered around a heart-rending and dark family history. The author shows how the tribulations suffered by one generation can have an impact on subsequent ones. Through her uncovering of the past and most important, her willingness to forgive, Felicity turns her own life around and provides it with a sense of purpose. The author shows an honesty that is to be admired and a meticulous attention to detail that is most impressive. It is a great memoir that ranks among the best.
February 11, 2017
A very interesting true story : The author had a very difficult childhood at the mercy of her cruel Grandmother. Later in life Felicity researches her family's past dating all the way back to the 1800's and what she discovers helps to unravel some shocking truths and how the dysfunctional family life was repeated through each generation. After finishing this book I have a renewed respect for teachers and what important and sometimes life-changing effects they can have on their students that can even "break the cycle of deprivation through education." A very well researched and thought-provoking read.
October 16, 2016
Excellent autobiography but such a sad story
January 22, 2017
I had a hard time following along in this book. I only made it through half of the book.
March 15, 2020
I thought this book was a cut above the usual misery memoir. It is true that the author details her early life with her cruel and crazy grandmother, her weak and childlike mother and her grandfather who, though loving and kind, was an enabler of great proportions. The description of her childhood is chilling. But instead of just showing us how she managed to rise above her childhood with grit and gumption, Davis goes back in time to the mid-nineteenth century and puts the abuse suffered in her 1960s childhood into historic context. Poverty, bad luck, abuse and murder all played a part in her grandmother's insanity. Davis's great-great grandparents were responsible and loving despite their many children and lack of affluence, but a series of catastrophic events beginning in 1865 led to social and emotional dysfunction in the family. Two of her great uncles were killed in one of Great Britain's greatest mining disasters and her great-great grandfather's ability to support his family was cut short by illness. Her great-grandmother married a glass blower who despite his lucrative trade was a heavy drinker and an abusive husband.Because of the strict social mores of the time, her grandmother was unable to divorce her spouse and sank into a life of alcoholism and promiscuity. In the early 2oth century her husband died after a drunken brawl with one of her lovers and she and the lover were tried and executed for his murder. Despite her family's intervention the executions took place in 1903 and Davis's grandmother was bullied and teased for having a killer for a mother. She was also unable to see her for a final time and began to display aggressive and angry behaviours which may have been hereditary or trauma-induced. And so on and so on. Davis describes very well how a cycle of abuse can continue in a family. She is a great believer in education and became a teacher to help others in similar situations. A very interesting read.
December 28, 2016
Through research and personal memories, Felicity weaves a story between the past and the present enabling the reader to glimpse the cycle of lives from the 1800s to the present.
‘The only way out of the cycle of deprivation is education’
This quote near the end of the book depicts how Felicity’s journey through her past to understand her turbulent childhood and adulthood brought wisdom, clarity and a sense of understanding of the cycles of lives that were lived before her which contributed to who she is today.
The book reminds and asks reader to look beyond stereotypes of people and to see the circumstances that brought them to where they are in their lives. It also offers a glimmer of hope in the way of education. Educating yourself about your past, trying to understand, if not forgive in a small way the abuse one suffered at the hands of another.
We should all take time to understand our parents, their childhood, their parents and so forth in order to develop a clearer picture and understanding of our family as people who have their own baggage they carry with them. Parents to be seen as people not just our parents, allows one to truly ‘see’ and better understand the motivations behind peole’s decisions.
This book, goes from the past to the present, delving into the historical great great grandparents, the abuse, tradieges and poverty they endured. To Felicity’s abusive upbring leading her on her own path at age 15, through a series of bad choices made with in part because of her upbringing.
This is not a light hearted book. Nor does the author try to spin the story to make herself or her family look better. I do think that she does take responsibility for her own actions and does in the end try hard to understand the people who shaped not just her upbringing but who created the cycle of poverty and abuse so long before her.
I admire her sense of introspection, her realization of how she contributed to her failed relationships and her journey out of the cycle in order to finally end the family legacy sso that her own children may know a different life.
Through knowledge comes understanding, through understanding comes acceptance of what is, which leads to the choice to stay in the abusive cycle of fight your way out of it. Felicity through determination and self-reflection wrote candily about her family and herself.
4/5 stars
‘The only way out of the cycle of deprivation is education’
This quote near the end of the book depicts how Felicity’s journey through her past to understand her turbulent childhood and adulthood brought wisdom, clarity and a sense of understanding of the cycles of lives that were lived before her which contributed to who she is today.
The book reminds and asks reader to look beyond stereotypes of people and to see the circumstances that brought them to where they are in their lives. It also offers a glimmer of hope in the way of education. Educating yourself about your past, trying to understand, if not forgive in a small way the abuse one suffered at the hands of another.
We should all take time to understand our parents, their childhood, their parents and so forth in order to develop a clearer picture and understanding of our family as people who have their own baggage they carry with them. Parents to be seen as people not just our parents, allows one to truly ‘see’ and better understand the motivations behind peole’s decisions.
This book, goes from the past to the present, delving into the historical great great grandparents, the abuse, tradieges and poverty they endured. To Felicity’s abusive upbring leading her on her own path at age 15, through a series of bad choices made with in part because of her upbringing.
This is not a light hearted book. Nor does the author try to spin the story to make herself or her family look better. I do think that she does take responsibility for her own actions and does in the end try hard to understand the people who shaped not just her upbringing but who created the cycle of poverty and abuse so long before her.
I admire her sense of introspection, her realization of how she contributed to her failed relationships and her journey out of the cycle in order to finally end the family legacy sso that her own children may know a different life.
Through knowledge comes understanding, through understanding comes acceptance of what is, which leads to the choice to stay in the abusive cycle of fight your way out of it. Felicity through determination and self-reflection wrote candily about her family and herself.
4/5 stars
September 19, 2017
A story of Felicity's struggle through childhood at the hands of her mean and ruthless grandmother. Always wondering why her mother wouldn't just leave with her in tow. There had to be a better life out there. It's only years later when she realizes that she is stuck in poverty because of the generations before her. "The only way to break the cycle is through education." When Felicity hears this statement in her sociology class does she realize the profound truth behind these words. Felicity earns a degree as a teacher and strives to learn all she can of her family history to ensure that not only her life, her sons lives AND her students lives will all be better than the lives of the generations past. An excellent read. Teachers that can teach positive lessons from personal tragedy are brilliant educators. Thank you Felicity for being a brave, caring, beautiful person and sharing your story with us.
December 31, 2016
A welcome change
A refreshing change from the usual run of the mill autobiographical/family history tales . The book is well researched and well written and captures the readers interest and holds it from cover to cover. The book has a reflective style as the author examines the series of tragedies and the effect it had on those close to her. Gran Elsie appeared to suffer mental health issues throughout her life and considering her childhood it is hardly surprising . It later surfaces that the authors mother was considered by family members to have learning difficulties ......An inspiring read throughout and highly recommended.
A refreshing change from the usual run of the mill autobiographical/family history tales . The book is well researched and well written and captures the readers interest and holds it from cover to cover. The book has a reflective style as the author examines the series of tragedies and the effect it had on those close to her. Gran Elsie appeared to suffer mental health issues throughout her life and considering her childhood it is hardly surprising . It later surfaces that the authors mother was considered by family members to have learning difficulties ......An inspiring read throughout and highly recommended.
February 7, 2017
Heartfelt
A well written and thought provoking book. I am able to identify with this book on many levels and have also 'broken the cycle' and achieved an education and a career beyond even my own expectations. There is always hope!
A well written and thought provoking book. I am able to identify with this book on many levels and have also 'broken the cycle' and achieved an education and a career beyond even my own expectations. There is always hope!
March 22, 2017
Loved this story. It is well written and flows beautiful. Though it is about the author's family the story is a snapshot into the hardships of life that many families faced at the time of the industrial revolution. It touches on poverty, women's rights, social expectations and the legacy our past brings to us. "You know where it ends Yo, it usually depends on where you start" (Everest; What It's Like) My only criticism is I wish the author had put a family tree in the front leaflet-at times I confused the cast of characters. I wrote out her family tree and found that helped keep everyone straight.
January 16, 2019
Very good
Don't usually read these sort of books .But I can honestly say that I enjoyed reading . I found some bits a little boring to be honest mostly to do with mining industry but so glad I stuck with it. Felicity 's childhood was very tough but she is such a brave and forgiving lady. She has done really well and been a great mother to her boys . She should be very proud of what she has achieved .
Don't usually read these sort of books .But I can honestly say that I enjoyed reading . I found some bits a little boring to be honest mostly to do with mining industry but so glad I stuck with it. Felicity 's childhood was very tough but she is such a brave and forgiving lady. She has done really well and been a great mother to her boys . She should be very proud of what she has achieved .
November 3, 2016
It was an interesting book as you journey with the author through her life and you see how secrets affect the people of the time and future generations. Good read!
March 22, 2021
What a sad true story of abuse that goes back many generations.
Felicity grew up with her mom, with obvious mental health issues-probably brought on by years of abuse at the hand of her mom. They lived with her granddad whom loved her dearly and was so good to her, but would not go against his wife, whom also had many issues, again her mental health had definitely been affected.
But then we go back in time and read about her great great grandmother Hannah and her husband John Hinchcliffe. They had many children, lost two in a mining accident and the problems just continued. They were never able to get back on top of things, and all that they dealt with was passed from one generation to the next until Felicity had the courage to step up and put it all out there. Wow! Definitely worth the read.
Felicity grew up with her mom, with obvious mental health issues-probably brought on by years of abuse at the hand of her mom. They lived with her granddad whom loved her dearly and was so good to her, but would not go against his wife, whom also had many issues, again her mental health had definitely been affected.
But then we go back in time and read about her great great grandmother Hannah and her husband John Hinchcliffe. They had many children, lost two in a mining accident and the problems just continued. They were never able to get back on top of things, and all that they dealt with was passed from one generation to the next until Felicity had the courage to step up and put it all out there. Wow! Definitely worth the read.
September 15, 2018
A decent read. Gripping enough that I was drawn in, and eventually finished it, but found the last few chapters dull and forced. I found it incredibly frustrating that the summary on the back of the book included a major story spoiler. The author did amazing and thorough research into her family history, but there were so many family members, I had a hard time keeping track when family members were brought up later in the story. The author did a great job of intertwining the family history dating back to the 1800’s with her own coming of age story, however, she left the odd situation with her father unanswered. Frustrating.
November 2, 2019
It is hard to give a low rating to an autobiography, because who am I to not ‘like’ someone else’s life? I liked the background story of the author’s ancestors; that was fascinating. Once I understood that her personal story was her attempt at making sense of her life for herself and her sons, that also helped. This was a personal, intimate book written primarily for the author, not for her audience. I suspect it was a vital part of her healing and, for her courage to give voice to her journey, I applaud her.
October 6, 2022
Do read this book if you can get your hands on it!!
The emphasis implied on the flyleaf etc was of an extended research into the family history.
In fact the book is largely auto-biographical. Two-three times more info about Felicity after she left home, than about how she got to where she was.
3/4 of the way through, I was going 'ho-hum'..
Having said that she does the history quite well and wraps the book up in the final chapters in a very powerful manner. I was greatly impacted, and happy I hung on....
The emphasis implied on the flyleaf etc was of an extended research into the family history.
In fact the book is largely auto-biographical. Two-three times more info about Felicity after she left home, than about how she got to where she was.
3/4 of the way through, I was going 'ho-hum'..
Having said that she does the history quite well and wraps the book up in the final chapters in a very powerful manner. I was greatly impacted, and happy I hung on....
November 8, 2018
This book tells us about a lot of the hardships many of our ancestors endured in past generations. Life was not easy back then for many people. If you are ever lamenting about the state of womens' rights or women's equality or perhaps the treatment of mental illness, just look back in history even just 50 years and see how far we have come. Do we have more to work on, yes, of course,
but we've come a long way baby!
Good book!
but we've come a long way baby!
Good book!
November 8, 2019
This is an easy read. It's interesting and certainly brings to light the impact generational trauma/poverty/hard luck has on a family. I'm not sure how I feel about the going back and forth being present day and the past. Sometimes it was a bit jarring and some of the pieces about the past read a bit drier. It does make a person wonder about their own family history but not enough, in my case anyway, to embark on a deep dive into the past.
January 15, 2021
A well written true story told with honesty. She delved into how an Injustice done generations previous could affect the generations to come. Until we can understands our own feelings, emotions and life it is difficult to make positive changes. A good read but at times so many family members to remember. A graph at the beginning would have been helpful. I myself didn’t understand a lot about my mom until I was older and asked questions about what it was like growing up in her life.
April 27, 2020
Started this book a few days ago and finally gave up on it last night as the constant descriptions of abuse while awful were getting too frequent. I kept wondering why she could not talk more about her Mom, her Dad, or Gran but guess the abuse was key to this book. Sorry but I am done with the book and hope the writers life turned out okay despite her horrific early years.
April 19, 2018
This is a very good story and lots of history about the mining era of 1800 England but it jumps around from early years to present day and there are a lot of characters. Unless you sit and read in a few days it is hard to keep straight.
August 18, 2018
The author had a hard childhood. I get it. But really it's a personal story that has limited appeal to anyone else. I finished it, but only because I had nothing waiting on the shelf. About twice as long as it needs to be.
October 28, 2019
I enjoyed this book as memoirs appeal to me. It was written on the back and forth style that is currently popular. There were a few places where Ms Davis suddenly jumped into a completely new topic that took me aback. All in all, it held my interest to the end.
March 4, 2024
This was a WOW book for me.
Couldn't put it down.
Gave me a lot to think about ,me and my past.
My grandmother was from a poor family around London and in and out of workhouses.
We all have a past good & bad.
Would recommend reading.
Will be on my mind for quite awhile.
Couldn't put it down.
Gave me a lot to think about ,me and my past.
My grandmother was from a poor family around London and in and out of workhouses.
We all have a past good & bad.
Would recommend reading.
Will be on my mind for quite awhile.
August 15, 2017
I had a hard time reading this book. it just didn't grab my attention like I thought it would.
February 13, 2019
Liked this. It was an interesting view from one woman who grew up in a violent household, doing family research, to discover the reason behind the violence. Recommend.
March 6, 2019
it did not capture me ,,,
March 14, 2019
I enjoyed how this book went back and forth between her ancestors stories and her own, however it dragged on and could have been tied up quicker.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews