2.5 rounded up stars. It’s not a terrible novel, but the romance was about 30% of the story. The hero is Carson Hayes, the lonely county sheriff who has always hated the heroine because he thinks she’s responsible for his brother’s overdose in high school.
Heroine wasn’t responsible - a fact that was established in a previous DP novel. Heroine is the editor of the Jacobsville newspaper and has a crush on the hero.
So the plot. Do you really want to know?
Simply put, it’s the ongoing saga of the Drug War of Jacobsville (the terrorist war having been won). In this installment, the war is between two rival Mexican drug dealers – The Thief (the bad drug dealer) and The Boss (the good drug dealer). Wait, you ask. how can there be a good drug dealer in DP’s world?
Easy. He’s the heroine’s father. He married her mother in Mexico and then sent her to Jacobsville when he realizes his drug career was endangering her. He’s never had a woman since. He goes to Mass each Sunday. He’s never killed anyone and he only tortures people a little bit. He hasn’t committed any crimes in the US so he’s built a horse farm outside of Jacobsville so he can protect his newfound daughter from his rival “The Thief.”
The story opens with the hero being shot in his house by an assassin hired by “The Thief.” He has no one to care for him (because he keeps a pet iguana) and heroine invites him to stay at her house until he recovers.
There’s some sexual tension that is sublimated into home cooking, watching cartoons with heroine’s orphaned step-siblings and name dropping every recent character in the Long Tall Texan series. The heroine eventually finds out who her father is and the H/h declare their love at about the same time – the halfway mark.
With all the emotional stuff taken care of, DP then has our couple kidnapped and hidden in Mexico.
Needless to say, they escape for their HEA with lots of help and the jewel encrusted toilet paper holder in the outhouse that allowed the heroine to saw through the cords binding her wrists.
DP also thoughtfully includes bonus facts about the history of ghillie suits, over-cutting of mesquite wood, and how to take care of your pet iguana.
Diana Palmer checklist:
Hairy chest Yes – the mat is back!
Breast Description Small, firm
Cigarettes/video games I just realized gaming is the new habit all of her recent heroes have defended.
Alcohol No
Town Descriptions Hero bought his iguana from a pet store in Jacobsville.
Gardenia Scent No
LOL detail “I have a coffee machine that uses pods.”
Cutesy detail Many iguana references and why cartoon movies are so good.
DP hobbyhorse Iguanas make great pets, video games are awesome, political correctness is ruining the country.
DP is trolling us “We don’t have a big employment pool here.” HA, HA, HA – that’s because everyone is already working at the mall, the airport, the community college, the hospital, all the stores and restaurants, the ranches, the local government, and all layers of law enforcement.