Sin Bravely: A Memoir of Spiritual Disobedience

by Maggie Rowe

A tour de force, voice-driven debut that examines how one woman finally found the middle ground between Heaven and Hell--an NPR Best Book of the Year.

As a young girl, Maggie Rowe took the idea of salvation very seriously. Growing up in a moderately religious household, her fear of eternal damnation turned into a childhood terror that drove her to become an outrageously dedicated Born-again Christian —regularly slinging Bible verses in cutthroat scripture memorization competitions and assaulting strangers at shopping malls with the “good news” that they were going to hell.

Finally, at nineteen, crippled by her fear, she checked herself in to an Evangelical psychiatric facility. And that is where her journey really began. Surrounded by a ragtag cast of characters, including a former biker meth-head struggling with anger management issues, a set of identical twins tormented by erotic fantasies, a World War II veteran and artist of denial who insists that he’s only “locked up for a tune-up,” and a warm and upbeat chronic depressive who becomes the author’s closest ally, Maggie launches a campaign to, in the words of Martin Luther, "Sin bravely in order to know the forgiveness of God."

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Religion, Audiobook, Psychology, Biography, Biography Memoir

225 pages, Paperback

First published November 21, 2016

Reviews

[Alina Borger]

A scrupulously reverent young girl grows up to become so anxious about hell and the evangelical God that she needs rehab, medication, and a new kind of faith.

In rehab, she meets a really, REALLY shitty counselor (but also--thankfully--meets a fabulous doctor), makes some friends, and discovers grace while eating McDonald's chicken nuggets & stripping at an amateur night.

On a personal note, I'll say that this book so accurately and painfully presents an inside view of evangelicalism that I broke out in hives.

[Trey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A comedic and endearing memoir of a woman's sincere quest to confront difficult questions about her faith and resolve personal struggles. Maggie Rowe with much depth, clarity and cleverness, communicates her anxieties and fears about her spiritual health and future as a Christian. Literalism and symbolism can be a two-edge sword, stabbing deep into a person's soul and in the spirit of Martin Luther's 'pecca fortiter' - sin bravely - Maggie attempts to reconcile an equilibrium she can live with.

Her quest started unofficially as a little girl with an over-active conscience living in a moderately christian home. And like "The Simpson's" character "Flanders", becomes the bane of stale christian exposition that, at a minimum, doesn't properly feed a christian's mental and spiritual development. Growing into a young woman, she finds that the mold or "way a young lady should act" placed by disconnected, ill-defined christian ethics, no longer suits her. What results is a ship-wrecked conscience and an almost toxic anxiety disorder.

Enter a certain christian counseling center she admits herself to, where the 'fun' begins, as we are introduced to a gallery of other struggling christian's. Maggie and gallery work through their issues in an imperfect institution, that at times seems as helpful as a magic 8-ball, with text-book diagnosis that completely miss the mark. The majority of her memoir takes residence here, which she captures with great insight and comedic touch - leaving behind, on the whole, a thought-provoking critique.

"Sin Bravely" is definitely one of the better, honest explorations of the christian faith. As a christian, I appreciated some of the unanswered curiosities of theology presented in this book, that has brake-checked her faith and mine at times. And although the final 'event' of her memoir, is completely counter to christian teaching and probably her self-esteem, she does what she does if only to draw from God the grace of His forgiveness.


Note for the sensitive crowd: language and sexual content.

[Jan Cole · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an uncomfortable read for me--especially the first third because it made me think hard about the message Evangelical Christians routinely offer and how it can be received and perceived by some. Maggie was brought up in a church going family. She was bright, sensitive, precocious and very aware of the message she got from church. However, that part of her brain that could filter between the spirit of the law and the letter of the law didn't work so she was caught in an unending loop of constant doubt of her salvation and her desire to please God. To their credit, her parents handled her kindly, but I got the feeling that they didn't understand the depth of her obsession. She could quote scripture, chapter and verse and argue with herself in a never ending loop.

Maggie went to a liberal arts college--I know--right? There she experimented and lived on the wild side until one night she broke, and begged her mother to take her to a residential treatment center. Her condition was it had to be Christian. There she found the path to health and redemption through a lame counselor who had yet learn to listen, residents in various stages of recovering, a psychologist, and finally a psychiatrist who taught her to be like Martin Luther and "Sin Bravely."

This would be an interesting book to discuss, but as I stated earlier, it will make some people very uncomfortable.

[Elizabeth Barnes Keener · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished this book and I miss it already. Much of Maggie's experience parallels mine, as a literal-minded, truth-seeking child with perfectionist tendencies making my way through an Evangelical upbringing. As her story unfolded, I recognized scripture verses I thought I'd forgotten and thoughts I was never brave enough to admit; bless her for sharing them so I don't have to.

Heartbreakingly honest and startlingly funny, but never self-indulgent or unkind, she gives herself a harder time than any of the finely-drawn characters who populate her story. I found the book joyful and ultimately faith-affirming. As Maggie's therapist tells her, "maybe true connection with God can be defined as whatever inspires kindness, whatever makes your heart big." Works for me.

Bonus: this edition has those cool covers you can fold over and use as bookmarks. Perfection.

[Truman32 · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sin Bravely: My Great Escape from Evangelical Hell is not nearly as funny nor as brave as it thinks it is.

Maggie Rowe suffers from a type of mental sickness that makes her fear eternal damnation. Since she was a little girl she has felt that her actions/thoughts/misbehaviors would bring her divine punishment. Most of this is due to the inconsistencies, contradictions, and paradoxes Maggie struggles to rationalize in her Church teachings. She grapples with her anxiety and mental disorder by becoming more and more religious yet this only makes her feel as if she is falling deeper into those burning waters. Finally she checks herself into an Evangelical Psychiatric Facility. Needless to say the folks there are completely unable to assist Maggie, the aid they give is faith-based as well as cruel and uninformed.

Sin Bravely then turns into a sort of hatchet job on the Church but it seems like an easy target. We all know the Church is conservative and not very forward thinking. They will want you to find answers in prayer and God. Right? That’s what the Church does. It’s kind of their thing. God. Jesus. To beat them up about it seems petty and stale. I mean, if you were invited to party with super rock band Van Halen and you ended up in a room full of sweater-wearing dudes doing jigsaw puzzles and tasting herbal teas with David Lee Roth’s mom and dad, then I could imagine outrage. That is not what Van Halen parties are about (for the record, Van Halen parties are about parents being out of town, booming music, throwing pieces of furniture from second story windows into swimming pools, public nudity, and unlimited pretzels). But going to the Church for help and getting Church-type help (no matter how misguided) is not shocking. Not in the least.

The characters she finds herself in therapy with are surprisingly bland and one-dimensional. Overall, this book marketed as a funny religious One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest is kind of a mess.

[Laura Nowlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5
The subtitle of this book is misleading. It's not a memoir of spiritual disobedience, but of spiritual anxiety. The title and blurb lead me to believe that before too long, Maggie would come across the idea of sinning bravely, and we would hear of her spiritual transformation through purposeful transgression. This book is very well written and often hilarious, but I spent the whole book waiting for her to start the transgressing so I could learn about how it helped her, which never happened. Instead, we spend most of the book learning about all of the unhelpful ways she was told to deal with her fear of damnation. It's funny and infuriating, and I probably would have enjoyed it more if it had been what I expected.
At the very end of the book, Maggie finally receives the advise to sin bravely, and we get to see her commit one act of transgression. Then, the book ends, leaving all sorts of questions. Did sinning bravely help Maggie? Did she keep for faith, or did she have to lose it to keep her sanity?
If I hadn't been led to expect something different, I probably would have rated this book a whole star more.

[John (JP) · Rating 5 out of 5]

.Pecca Fortiter or Sin Bravely is both the title of book and the solution to doubt that a Christian psychiatrist offers to Maggie Rowe. The precise saying comes from a saying of Martin Luther church reformer :"God does not save people who are only fictitious sinners. Be a sinner and sin boldly, but believe and rejoice in Christ even more boldly. For he is victorious over sin, death, and the world"or in the book's vernacular: "Sin bravely in order that you might know the forgiveness of God" This concept of grace is the bed rock of Christianity. This is chronicle of Maggie Rowe transformation from a rule obsessed Evangelical doubter to being someone who does not have all the answers to someone but who is at peace in her faith in Christ's ability forgive and love her no matter what her sins are. This biography is also an unblinking look at Evangelical culture.

The book opens with Maggie in the lobby of Grace Point an Evangelical psychiatric hospital run by Evangelicals for Christians with mental illness. Maggie is obsessed with the question of her belief in Christ( i.e.her salvation). Is it good enough to get her into heaven? No matter how many times she prays or matter the degree of fever she doubts if it is effective enough to please God. In the journey to resolution Rowe explores most if not all of the contemporary and past issues of and reasons for doubt. She also voices her reaction to the sometimes silly and cringe worthy answers she gets to her questions. The book is also tale of what good counselors armed with appropriate medications can do.

This is not a traditional triumphalist Christian biography. It only covers a portion of Maggie Rowe's life. Some readers may not appreciate its indirect criticism of the Evangelical culture that developed around Christianity. Nor will some appreciate its representation of Christian counseling techniques and practices. I thinks its critiques while painful have the ring of truth. The doubts and questions Maggie Rowe expresses are real, valid, and in certain circles suppressed.I and others have had them and experienced the suppression and at times embracing of these doubts.Finally the solution Rowe is given will be controversial in Evangelical circles

Doubt is being in uncertain of an idea. Literally being in 2 minds about a subject. Unbelief is a settled certainty . Doubt is different than unbelief says Os Guinnes in his book In two minds: The dilemma of doubt & how to resolve it: and it needs to handled differently.The New Testament book of Jude verse 22 reads And have mercy on those who doubt; 23 save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment[a] stained by the flesh. Doubt is treated like an incurable disease and to be avoided like the plague in some Christian circles. Those who voice it are treated like lepers. Sin Bravely by Rowe and In two minds by Guinnes are good arguments against this view.

[jbgbookgirl · Rating 3 out of 5]

Popsugar 2018 #16 - mental health. Personally I think this book would have made a great long form article. It took 80% of the book to finally read about the paradigm shift in her thinking. I was starting to get very frustrated with her inner dialogue, but maybe that was the point. We, the reader, needed to get frustrated with her to understand just how debilitating her way of interpreting Christianity had become for her. And it was debilitating. I have suffered,to a degree, with spiritual perfectionism and so I could relate to her struggles. I use to be so afraid that I wasn't doing all I could in order to receive God's grace. I could always be doing more, right? Brene Brown and her work became my Dr. Benton. Her work gave me the courage to sin bravely (boldly), trusting in the power of Love.

[Allisonlcarter · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gives the best description I've read yet of what anxiety feels like, particularly the physical aspects. Most people don't talk about that part, but the sensation of prickling in your brain, your whole head on fire, bird claws on your scalp, can be visceral. It also gives a fantastic, thought-provoking explanation for the Lazarus and the Rich Man in hell parable -- God and Lazarus don't deny the man mercy when they don't give him a drink. They can't give him the immediate relief he wants because what he needs is to get out of the fire, solve the problem entirely, rather than fix the symptom of being parched. Really great take. The writing is also generally vivid and funny.

However, some parts of the memoir feel extremely convenient. If that's what happened, hey, that's what happened. But the last 15 percent of the book or so didn't feel authentic, and Dr. Benton seemed too good to be true. But overall, still a really thought-provoking book, and a great read for anyone who lives with anxiety or wants to understand anxiety better.

[Peacegal · Rating 3 out of 5]

SIN BRAVELY is the humorous memoir of a woman who obsessively worries about the fate of her soul, leading to some very unusual and awkward situations.

I especially enjoyed how she characterized people --we've all met people like Bethanie, with her relentless blend of optimism and passive aggression. The campus religious group, with their almost-maniacal dedication to having !!!SOBER!!! fun, also had me giggling.

[ERIC · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely personal, very funny, bravely written and thoroughly enjoyable. Maggie Rowe takes us on a journey through heaven and hell from her childhood imagination, through her impressionable tween years to a young woman with perspective and courage. A great read for everyone and a must read for anyone raising their children through faith.

[Carrie Waibel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I almost put this down thinking it was just going to turn religion into a giant joke. But it really didn't! The author struggles (still) with a lot of the same contradictory thoughts I have about Christianity and its role in my past and present life. This book was a great example of following the spirit of the law vs. the letter of the law, which is an easy thread to lose in my daily life.

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay, so when I picked this book up at the library, I thought it would be another of the many my-church-abused-my-innocent-trust-in-God books that I have read over the past year, and which our library's Christian reading section seems to have committed itself. While Maggie Rowe, the author, does demonstrate the ignorance and insensitivity of many of her Christian characters, she does not turn in the denomination (Southern Baptist?) as the perpetrator of her obsessive fear of accidentally sinning, or of not really knowing whether she has committed "the unpardonable sin", and of forfeiting her ticket to Eternity. Instead, she looks at the Bible as the culprit in confusing her with its many complex and contradictory principles for living life and achieving entry to Heaven, or more terrifying for her, condemnation to Hell.

There were points in reading this book that I was a little uncertain about whether I should actually be reading it-- as though the reading of something whose outcome was bound to be a stalemate with the God of my understanding was sinful in itself. I identified with her confusion and her scrupulosity, and I found myself disapproving of her rationalization for sinning that reinforced the anxiety that drove her life as a young adult. It wasn't until I applied some of the suggestions of the only "wise" (read: authentic and empathic) shrink-- the psychiatrist at the Christian mental institution where she spent three months-- who was actually the guy in charge of drug management for patients, something that she was dead against, initially. You will have to read the book to find out what suggestions he made that would help someone with anxiety living close to the letter of the Law.

Maggie Rowe writes with that rare capacity to call up the holy, and stay there, while describing with much detail the hilarity of the un-holy path to self-acceptance, really, in my humble opinion, the cornerstone of our relationship to God.

[Trevor Klundert · Rating 4 out of 5]

I discovered something when I was about a quarter into this book. The subtitle listed here on Goodreads is, “My Great Escape From Evangelical Hell” yet the subtitle on the copy I took out from the library reads, “A Memoir of Spiritual Disobedience.” This variation really makes a big difference. The first subtitle leads you to believe this memoir is going to read like a jaw dropping escape from a cult (think Leah Remini and Scientology). It's not. It is definitely more the latter subtitle — a memoir that chronicles a woman's OCD thinking which just happens to be faith-based with an extreme fear of going to hell. I picked up the book based on the first subtitle and I was a little disappointed to realize it was more the latter. With saying that, I still was pulled into the story — it is made up of three parts — part one is her childhood and development of her OCD thinking, part two is the two months she spent at an evangelical psychiatric facility, and part three is the road to recovery. Because her OCD thinking is “am I going to hell?!?” on a loop, part one felt a bit repetitious. It was part two that really pulled me in as she starts to seek treatment and we are introduced to everyone who is part of her group therapy. The ragtag cast of characters reminded me a bit of “Girl Interrupted.” And like that memoir-turned-film, let me end this review with a plea to Hollywood — if you ever consider making a movie of Sin Bravely, I beg of you to cast Anna Konkle from Pen15 as the lead and Leslie Jordan as the hilarious, devout Christian Mickey who is part of the group in therapy. Lastly, one thing I do not want to forget from this book is advice Maggie Rowe's doctor gave her during therapy: “Trust the path that gives you peace.”

[John Martindale · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so engaging that I listened to almost the entire audiobook in a single sitting while painting a Van Gogh. As someone who also doubted my salvation, was afraid I’d be “left behind,” and prayed the sinner's prayer a million times, never sure I ‘meant it with my whole heart,’ and as someone who couldn’t help but see the ugly implications of horrible evangelical theology, so much was relatable. Interestingly, in my case, I wasn’t terrified of going to hell. Instead, eternal conscious torment was such a repugnant, unjust, and unloving doctrine that, if true, it logically implied that God was by far the most hideous and evil being in existence. I thought the Bible taught it (it doesn’t), and as I stuffed it in my theological closet, the rot would slip under the door. My goodness, back in my evangelical days, once I realized there was no solid biblical basis for the doctrine, it was like a million pounds rolled away.

Regarding her description of the Grace Point Psych ward, I have to believe she presented a parody. Every word and action from Bethanie was so overwhelmingly cringeworthy—so over the top—that it just had to be an exaggeration. What is horrifying, though, is that I can imagine a few simple-minded evangelical elementary school teachers who speak to adults like children and cannot escape their small, simplistic box. If in Bethanie’s position, they could act similarly, misjudge, and jump to the wrong conclusions, then claim the patient is in denial when they protest. But seriously, Bethanie was too much for me. I almost skipped ahead; it was just too torturous to endure—thinking people like Bethanie exist and that people needing psychological help are subject to such loons. It was such a relief once she finally met with Mr. Benton. It is encouraging that a few meetings could have been so profoundly helpful.

Some further reflections sparked by the book:

The “sinner’s prayer” is something concocted by evangelicals (I think it is attributed to Billy Graham… it's unreal how he could have made it so ubiquitous). But it is all a mind game. They say to “pray it from the heart,” but that is so vague. It is as if some unclear level of emotion should be present, but there is no real way to know if it “worked.” As they made it sound like eternal torture in the lake of fire awaited us if we got it wrong, it seemed really important to get that prayer right! But if there are no feelings afterward, no life change, etc., how are we to know? It is like we are given vague instructions on how to do a magic spell, but we couldn’t know if it worked until we were dead, and then it would be too late. And my gosh, the implications of this on the nature of God. What kind of deity would set things up this way? We evangelicals created a complete joke—a monstrous and ridiculous supreme being. Fortunately, plenty do not think too deeply and are not prone to doubt, and I guess speaking the magic words was enough for them.

In the gospel tracts, we read “Anyone who calls him Lord will be saved,” but this seems to be contradicted by Matthew’s harsh version of Jesus, who said, “Many will come on that day, saying, Lord, Lord… and I will say, depart from me!” and Jesus presents the Father as someone who will take back a gift, for in the parable where the Lord forgives a debt, but that that man then fails to forgive someone indebted to him, the Lord has him sent to the tortures. Jesus also said, “You will be known by your fruit,” and “A good tree cannot bear bad fruit; any tree that bears bad fruit will be plucked up and thrown into the fire.” John said, “Anyone who sins and says he knows God is a liar, for anyone born of God cannot sin,” and Hebrews says anyone who sins after receiving the truth cannot again be saved, since he crucifies the Lord again, and has nothing to look forward to other than the wrath of God. John said that Jesus will spit out the lukewarm, and that the cowardly will be cast into the lake of fire. Jesus talked about an unforgivable sin, and there is a huge amount of smiting that occurs throughout the Bible, Revelation talks about the worldwide genocide and Jesus trampling the nations in the winepress of his wrath and the blood coming up to the horses’ bridle. Honestly, it is like these biblical authors got together and discussed how they could inflict trauma on children.

So, it’s all of grace, a wonderful free gift. But to get this gift, you must say the magical prayer right, and after you receive the “gift,” if you don’t bear enough fruit (how much is enough?), you will be tossed into hell. If you fail to forgive someone, God will take back his forgiveness and send you to be tortured. God’s love is unconditional, but if you are lukewarm, to hell with you. You cannot earn salvation, but if faith does not result in works, you won’t be saved. Anyone who commits sin won’t inherit the kingdom of God. God supposedly loves everyone, but all throughout the Bible, his first go-to response is to kill people, including women, children, and animals, and, according to a lot of Christians, create reprobates solely for the purpose of expressing his wrath by having them tortured for all eternity. Somehow, this is what “justice” and “love” look like.

I hate that a straightforward reading of the passages I am referencing above, especially in Matthew’s gospel, are so god-awful and irredeemable. The verses are sure to elicit trauma for anyone so inclined to take them seriously. As a Universalist, I can think of a framework that makes sense to many, but universalism, despite its biblical grounding, seems beyond the pale for most evangelicals. So, it is hard in an evangelical setting to figure out some way to present God, using the Bible, that does not possibly lead to psychological trauma, a horrific view of God, and a faith so full of moral and rational absurdities that will need to later be deconstructed.

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75
I had mixed feelings about this memoir. First of all, it was quite compelling, never a dull moment. It also rang very true to a certain culture that I, too, was raised in, and which I spent many a tortured midnight worrying about. I especially resonated with 'saying the prayer' a kazillion times; in my case, I answered every altar call I could. Maggie Rowe raises many pertinent questions about this culture; not all of them may be answerable, but it's important that they be asked.

One of the things that bothered me a little bit was how detailed Rowe's memory is. Perhaps I'm just deficient in that area and can't believe (oh me of little faith!) that someone else could accurately portray people and events in such intense detail. One of the reviews I read stated that the reader thoroughly enjoyed this novel. It does read like one - or maybe like a memoir/novel combination. Not sure if there is such an animal...

The other thing that bothered me a bit was the cliched characters. Although at the age of 19, I probably saw people in a two-dimensional way as well. On the other hand, Rowe does a fine job of bringing to light some of the more negative aspects of evangelical Christianity; it just seems that sometimes she's using a character who's symbolic of that aspect rather than presenting a real person. But I could be wrong.

All in all, this is a book I can recommend purely on the pleasure of reading it and the way it makes one think about things that may have been accepted purely because that's what we've always thought. I'm especially impressed with Rowe's bravery in the face of her 'scrupulosity' to face down her fears and grow beyond them. I'm looking forward to another book...

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

My copy has a different subtitle. Sin Bravely: A Memoir of Spiritual Disobedience. I like that better. But whatever the title, it's a charming book.

A memoir about struggling with anxiety over salvation perhaps shouldn't be this entertaining, but Sin Bravely is a compelling, heart-felt book that manages, at times, to actually be funny. It includes some of the most accurate physical descriptions of anxiety I've ever come across, as well as how frustratingly unhelpful it is to hear, over and over, no matter how well-intended, that there's really no reason to worry.

Maggie Rowe's voice is endearing, and the story is populated with some interesting characters. Some of whom I'd like to throttle, but that was obviously the point (and there are people like that). Although the end feels a bit rushed, good therapy (and therapists) do kind of hit you over the head (in that good way). Also, obviously, this type of story doesn't neatly end; it just keeps on going.

As a literal person who worried entirely too much about the various contradictions and assorted cruelties in the Bible before moving on to worrying about other things, I am extra grateful to have been raised in a "That's an interesting thought; we should form a committee and explore it" Presbyterian ideology, with the occasional family Catholic Mass and rosary thrown in for flavor. I would absolutely have been an Evangelical hot-mess. Small mercies, indeed.

[Kelsey Landua · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. While not religious myself, I still found Maggie's plight to be relatable on the grand scheme of things, as everyone experiences these kinds of grand ponderings and anxious behavior, though admittedly, not on the same scale. She has a great way of putting you right in the scene, using very descriptive prose and deliberate characterization. I always appreciate when an author is able to weave together levity into a very serious topic, and eternal damnation is not exactly something I thought I would laugh at. I wish that there would have been more of a denouement but again, this may just be because I was so invested in her story that I wanted to know more of it. I even read the acknowledgments at the end to try to extract some information about where she might be now. It was a quick read, and one that I will definitely be recommending, but maybe not to my extremely devout Grandmother.

[Deidra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I needed this book right now. A lot of what Maggie Rowe talks about in the first two parts of the book sounds so much like a telling of my own story and relationship with religion. It was mostly fear-driven and filled with doubt. I've actually never heard anyone express it so well. I kept saying, "Me too! Me too!" But the book is also funny. I chuckled out loud in quite a few places.

In the third part of the book, Maggie (and the rest of us who know this fear-doubt head argument well) finally meets someone who takes her seriously (though not TOO seriously) and shows her (and us) a whole new way to look at things...especially God.

[Andee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maggie Rowe was going to hell.

At least that’s what she told herself. From a young age, Maggie couldn’t tell if she loved God enough to save her soul.

Publisher’s Weekly endorsed, “Rowe’s fantastic book is a born-again version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.” You need no more explanation from me.

Listen to Maggie comically share about her time in a Christian rehab center; a place where some of the therapists were determined to change the person you were born to be. Then pick up her book and read in detail what caused Maggie to Sin Bravely.

[Eva Gross · Rating 5 out of 5]

God bless Maggie Rowe! I read this book as if I was chugging down water after a long run (and I don't even run, so just think how much more I'd need the water). Growing up in and then leaving formal Christianity, I've always wanted a book like this. Like Maggie describes in the book, I've always wanted to feel like I'm not alone. I can't thank Maggie enough for being so open and honest about a thing that is often shrouded in shame and judgement, or at least don't-discuss-this-ness. I hope one day I can contribute to this conversation in a similarly open, humorous and loving way.

[robert giles jr · Rating 5 out of 5]

A memoir of spiritual scrupulosity

I'm a former Baptist Christian who was tormented by the hell concept, and I thoroughly enjoyed seeing someone overcome their fear of damnation even though they had said what I like to call the "magic prayer" thousands of times. I loved this book, and I wish the author all the luck in the world.

[Janice M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent

If you have ever had compulsive worries, especially about your own qualifications for Heaven, please read this book! This novel is on point.

[Larry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Best line in the book, "Like maybe we can only be true to what we already know is right."

[Signe · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very smart and witty woman goes into some type of Christian rehab for her "scrupulosity" -- which is OCD connected with religious or moral themes. It was hard to listen to at points, because it's hard to listen to folx with OCD get upset over the same things again and again. But, it is a great display of counsellors not knowing what they're doing when they're the ones charged with helping you. Maggie is afraid she won't be saved because she's unsure if her commitment to Jesus is lukewarm, yet her counsellor keeps making up problems she doesn't even have -- like bulimia, body image, lesbianism (not that the last is a problem, but in her eyes it is). Clueless and obtuse is how many people experience institutionalized care, and this is a good example of that. It's also funny in parts which makes it easier to get through. Maggie is a TV writer (Arrested development, Flaked), so she is good at that and it reflects in the book. It just gets a bit manic at points, which can be stressful for sensitive readers.

[Reader Views · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewed by Sheri Hoyte for Reader Views (1/18)

“Sin Bravely: A Memoir of Spiritual Disobedience” by Maggie Rowe is the hilarious yet heartfelt story of the author’s struggles with salvation and the fear of damnation. Her literal interpretation of the Bible sets her on a whirlwind journey full of disillusion and anxiety. By the age of 19, Rowe is convinced she will be condemned to eternal punishment in hell, and checks herself into a Christian psychiatric facility, hoping to finally find the answers she needs in order to save her soul.

The opening text produces the intensity with which Rowe struggles with her fears. While viewing a painting of Jesus she declares, “Jesus’s eyes seem kind, but I will not let myself be fooled,” (pg. 3). Going on to state that she knows Jesus could “turn” on her at any moment – it is Rowe’s inner thoughts that hold her hostage as indeed, she is her own worst demon.

Unwilling or unable to accept her soul is saved, she repeats the Sinner’s Prayer, (which guarantees salvation) over and over throughout the course of her life, almost as a kind of insurance – just in case it didn’t “take” the first few thousand times. Little lyrical moments like this take the story to a level quite above anything I have read in a long time.

The writing is absolutely brilliant, and I found myself hanging on every sentence – no, every word, eager to consume the wit and creativity that flows through Rowe seemingly effortlessly. Her ability to precisely describe her inner turmoil with the irreconcilable contradictions she obsesses over, really hits home and drives the story, and I was more than a little sad when I got to the final page.

And the characters – they are oh-my-God hysterical! Maggie’s comrades at the psych unit will leave you breathless from their side-splitting antics and somewhat disturbing personalities. A sampling of her gang includes a former biker and meth-head, a set of twins that can’t stop their obsessive sexual compulsions for their mother, and a manic depressive woman who becomes Maggie’s best friend. All of the characters are genuine and relatable, even in their quirkiest and most frightening moments. Rowe really pulls you directly inside their minds as they navigate the road of spiritual enlightenment. Bethanie, one of the therapists, is so incredulous you just want to wring her neck as she unwittingly incites total frustration and hopelessness into her patients.

“Sin Bravely: A Memoir of Spiritual Disobedience” by Maggie Rowe is an exceptional read full of wit, drama, insight and inspiration. This genuine, shining memoir will have you laughing out loud, all the while contemplating the condition of your own eternal soul, whether you believe or not. It is truly a five-star-must-read experience.

[Sydne Tursky · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I had read this book five years ago. I would’ve found it extremely thought-provoking and comforting then - five years on, it felt more like validation of a choice well made.

Would’ve been five stars, but the ending was a bit rushed and the whole thing needed a good copy edit.

[Lynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had me laughing out loud at three in the morning.

[Vic S-F · Rating 3 out of 5]

More about an anxiety disorder than about evangelicalism, which isn't a criticism, just a surprise in branding choices, especially since the author....doesn't actually leave the church.

[Ginny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Re-read this in preparation for writing a sermon. This is a tough one because it mirrors a lot of my own story. Worth the read, however. God is bigger and grace is more encompassing than we can imagine - this I believe.