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Highly Sensitive People in an Insensitive World: How to Create a Happy Life
In today's fast-paced, increasingly public society, we are expected to be resilient, to have the energy to manage a packed work schedule, social calendar, and a large network of friends, both online and offline, day and night. If you find yourself struggling to live up to, or even enjoy, these non-stop social expectations, then this book is for you. Written for highly sensitive people, the book explains the characteristics of being highly sensitive and how to overcome common difficulties, such as low self-esteem and the exhausting effects of socialising. Ilse Sand also encourages you to explore and appreciate the advantages of high sensitivity, including your aptitude for depth, intensity and presence, and suggests activities to calm and inspire.
162 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2010
338 people are currently reading
4774 people want to read
About the author
Ilse Sand
54 books68 followersFor many years Ilse Sand has been engaged in counseling highly sensitive people both as a pastor and as a psychotherapist.
Before she became a psychotherapist, public speaker and author, Ilse worked as parish pastor under the Danish National Church for eleven years until 2006.
lIlse Sand has a Master’s Degree in Theology from Aarhus University, where her Master’s thesis was based on the works of Swiss Psychiatrist C.G. Jung and Danish Philosopher Søren Kierkegaard. The works of Jung and Kierkegaard has had an impact on both her personal life as well as her professional life and writing.
Through her work as a pastor, Ilse Sand became interested in helping people on a deeper level, and she became educated in psychotherapy within Gestalt Therapy, Cognitive Therapy and Psycho Dynamic Therapy among others.
Before she became a psychotherapist, public speaker and author, Ilse worked as parish pastor under the Danish National Church for eleven years until 2006.
lIlse Sand has a Master’s Degree in Theology from Aarhus University, where her Master’s thesis was based on the works of Swiss Psychiatrist C.G. Jung and Danish Philosopher Søren Kierkegaard. The works of Jung and Kierkegaard has had an impact on both her personal life as well as her professional life and writing.
Through her work as a pastor, Ilse Sand became interested in helping people on a deeper level, and she became educated in psychotherapy within Gestalt Therapy, Cognitive Therapy and Psycho Dynamic Therapy among others.
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October 18, 2024
This book glosses on how to identify if you are a highly sensitive person (HSP) and then proceeds to guide HSPs in their daily life. It provides practical tips to overcome the internal and external struggles faced by HSPs.
I could relate to a lot of the book's contents. While I was familiar with some of the ideas, a few were new. This book may not have been life-changing for me because I've been reading up on this topic for a while, but it definitely helped me a lot. Some phrases felt weird and a bit negative, probably due to translation.
I highly recommend this book to all the sensitive people out there. This may not be overly useful for people who are not very sensitive, so maybe they could just take a glance if they are interested.
Note: I received a free copy of the book from the publisher. This review is my personal opinion and has not been influenced in any way. A big thanks to Jessica Kingsley Publishers and NetGalley.
I could relate to a lot of the book's contents. While I was familiar with some of the ideas, a few were new. This book may not have been life-changing for me because I've been reading up on this topic for a while, but it definitely helped me a lot. Some phrases felt weird and a bit negative, probably due to translation.
I highly recommend this book to all the sensitive people out there. This may not be overly useful for people who are not very sensitive, so maybe they could just take a glance if they are interested.
Note: I received a free copy of the book from the publisher. This review is my personal opinion and has not been influenced in any way. A big thanks to Jessica Kingsley Publishers and NetGalley.
December 28, 2016
A highly sensitive person is someone who has a sensitive nervous system, take in many impressions and get over stimulated. That person feels much empathy, feel other people's feelings, doesn't like too much sound or light, thinks and reflect much about the world, is creative, gets bored of small talk, prefers deep conversations, cares much about people feeling good, and defend someone that is treated badly, is uncomfortable with fights and doesn't like too much disagreement, likes company, but prefers smaller groups and gets tired after a while because she thinks too much about everything,
All this, I read in Susan Cain's book about introverts. This book is more about encouraging these people to be themselves and not feel bad about it. Today, the norm is to be outgoing and outspoken, but I get tired by these people. I think a really interesting person is often someone who reflects about the world and think before they speak. It's wrong that the norm is making people feel bad. Deep people are often creative and interesting people.
All this, I read in Susan Cain's book about introverts. This book is more about encouraging these people to be themselves and not feel bad about it. Today, the norm is to be outgoing and outspoken, but I get tired by these people. I think a really interesting person is often someone who reflects about the world and think before they speak. It's wrong that the norm is making people feel bad. Deep people are often creative and interesting people.
August 2, 2021
این کتاب رو با ترجمه خوندم، میتونست ترجمه خیلی بهتر باشه. ایرادات سهلانگارانه داشت، انگار عجلهای ترجمه شده باشه. ویرایشش هم همینطور.
کتاب بدی نیست، ولی اونقدری که نویسنده ادعا داره خوبم نیست. شاید هم نویسندۀ بندهخدا ادعا نداره و منم که گارد دارم. اینو کسی معرفی کرد که به نظرش منم خیلی آدم حساسیام (من آدم حساسیام و حساسیتم در حد متوسطیه، اذیت میشم دیگران اینو نمیفهمن یا منو عجیب غریب میدونن چون منم میتونم دیگران رو خیلی چیزها بدونم. انی وی، مهم نیست) و خب احساسات مختلفی بهش دارم. یه سخنرانی تد هم داره نویسندهش که اونم خیلی شبیه حرفای توی کتابه، اونم نه خوبه نه بده.
اول میاد میگه خیلی حساسها کیان و چرا اذیتن. میاد بحث میکنه که این با درونگرایی ارتباط داره یا نه، چون سالها بوده که درونگراها به این چیزها متهم میشدن و اغلب انتظار دارن که درونگرایی با خیلی حساس بودن رابطه داشته باشه، اما لزوماً اینطوری نیست و خیلی افراد هم برونگرا بودن و خیلی حساس. همینطور یه سری ویژگی و ارتباطشون رو با خیلی حساس بودن میگه. اینجاها خیلی رویکرد مثبت و پروانهای و آه بمیرم براتونه. بعد میاد میگه چی باعث شده یه عده خیلی حساس باشن، از منظر عزت نفس و شاخصهای بالای استاندارد فردی، بعد میاد میگه خیلی حساس بودن چه مشکلات و پیامدهایی داره (که بیشترشون منفیه) و حتی چه بیماریهایی با خیلی حساس بودن همراه میشه، در آخر هم یه رویکرد مثبتی میگیره که چطور میشه رشد کرد. چطوری خیلی حساس بودن رو مدیریت کرد و بهش جهت داد. درانتها هم رویکردهای پژوهشی و مطالعات آینده رو بررسی میکنه.
کتاب «شبیه» یه کتاب علمی نوشته شده، اما همون طور که شاید با خلاصهای که من گفتم متوجه شده باشید، یه ایراد بزرگی داره که باعث میشه نتونه یه پژوهش بیطرفانه و منصف و درستی باشه: چارچوب قرار دادن. مشکل بزرگِ من با این کتاب اینه که چرا اصرار داری آدما رو به خیلی حساس و غیر حساس تقسیم کنی؟ مگه یه آدم نمیتونه در مقطعی خیلی حساس باشه، یه جا دیگه غیر حساس؟
مشکل دومش اینه که عینک خیلی حساسش رو زده و تا آخر برش نداشته. من میدونم وقتی تو داری از یه فرضیهای دفاع میکنی، طبیعیه که باید تمام شواهد و دلایل دفاعش رو هم بیاری، ولی درعینحال باید مراقب باشی دفاعِ زیادیت به خودزنی تبدیل نشه. توی این کتاب نویسنده هم داشت به حالت یه روانشناس دلسوز دست نوازشی بر بهاصطلاح خیلی حساسها میکشید، هم در مقاطعی توی سرشون میزد یا میگفت هی مراقب باش این چیزها رو نداشته باشی. دلیل این نگاه از رویکرد تکبُعدی نویسنده و اصرارش به خیلی حساس بودن میاد، همون اولی باعث دومی شده. همین که اصرار داره یه دسته هستن که خیلی حساسن. وقتی یه طرفه به قضیه نگاه کنی، درسته. خیلی حساسها همۀ این نگاههای منفی رو خواهند داشت، اما بیا برعکسش رو هم ببین؛ خیلی از مشکلات هم نمیتونن باعث خیلی حساس شدن بشن؟ راستش این طرفیش معقولتره حتی، به نظر من حداقل. یعنی اول یکسری مشکلات برای شما پیش میاد، بعد روی درجۀ حساسیتتون تأثیر میذاره.
مشکل سومش اینه که اوایل کتاب به شدت زرده و یه ویژگیهایی به خیلی حساسها نسبت میده که توی هرکسی ممکنه ببینی و لزوماً خیلی حساس نباشه. مشکل چهارمش اکراه نویسنده از ورود به سبقۀ علمی بر خیلی حساسهاست. کم اشاره میکنه به مطالعات قدیم، نظریههای نزدیک به خیلی حساس بودن، و عوامل علمیتر بر حساس بودن. من مثلاً حین خوندن فکر میکردم که ژنتیک و تربیت خیلی میتونه تأثیر بذاره ولی به نظرم خیلی کم به اینا اشاره کرده بود. نویسنده نگاهش اینطوریه که فرض کن همین الان خیلی حساسی. گذشتهت خیلی مهم نیست، بیا ببینیم الان چطوری هستی. که این یکی از رویکردهای روانشناسیه، کلاً رویکردها به اینکه نگاهشون به گذشته/حال/آینده باشن هم تقسیم میشن، ولی حتی رویکردی که بر حال یا آینده تکیه داره، یه گذری بر گذشته داره.
کتاب میتونست مطالعۀ خوبی باشه، اگر نویسنده اینقدر اصرار به دستۀ خاص خیلی حساس بودن نمیداشت و اینو میاومد بیشتر به عنوان یه نشانه یا یه ویژگی موقت یاد میکرد تا شبیه یه شخصیت. و رویکرد علمی میگرفت تا شرح افراد خیلی حساس (که دستهبندی سوگیرانهای داره و منجر به سوگیری بیشتر توی فرضیهشم شده) و راهکارهای عملیتری میداد.
کتاب بدی نیست، ولی اونقدری که نویسنده ادعا داره خوبم نیست. شاید هم نویسندۀ بندهخدا ادعا نداره و منم که گارد دارم. اینو کسی معرفی کرد که به نظرش منم خیلی آدم حساسیام (من آدم حساسیام و حساسیتم در حد متوسطیه، اذیت میشم دیگران اینو نمیفهمن یا منو عجیب غریب میدونن چون منم میتونم دیگران رو خیلی چیزها بدونم. انی وی، مهم نیست) و خب احساسات مختلفی بهش دارم. یه سخنرانی تد هم داره نویسندهش که اونم خیلی شبیه حرفای توی کتابه، اونم نه خوبه نه بده.
اول میاد میگه خیلی حساسها کیان و چرا اذیتن. میاد بحث میکنه که این با درونگرایی ارتباط داره یا نه، چون سالها بوده که درونگراها به این چیزها متهم میشدن و اغلب انتظار دارن که درونگرایی با خیلی حساس بودن رابطه داشته باشه، اما لزوماً اینطوری نیست و خیلی افراد هم برونگرا بودن و خیلی حساس. همینطور یه سری ویژگی و ارتباطشون رو با خیلی حساس بودن میگه. اینجاها خیلی رویکرد مثبت و پروانهای و آه بمیرم براتونه. بعد میاد میگه چی باعث شده یه عده خیلی حساس باشن، از منظر عزت نفس و شاخصهای بالای استاندارد فردی، بعد میاد میگه خیلی حساس بودن چه مشکلات و پیامدهایی داره (که بیشترشون منفیه) و حتی چه بیماریهایی با خیلی حساس بودن همراه میشه، در آخر هم یه رویکرد مثبتی میگیره که چطور میشه رشد کرد. چطوری خیلی حساس بودن رو مدیریت کرد و بهش جهت داد. درانتها هم رویکردهای پژوهشی و مطالعات آینده رو بررسی میکنه.
کتاب «شبیه» یه کتاب علمی نوشته شده، اما همون طور که شاید با خلاصهای که من گفتم متوجه شده باشید، یه ایراد بزرگی داره که باعث میشه نتونه یه پژوهش بیطرفانه و منصف و درستی باشه: چارچوب قرار دادن. مشکل بزرگِ من با این کتاب اینه که چرا اصرار داری آدما رو به خیلی حساس و غیر حساس تقسیم کنی؟ مگه یه آدم نمیتونه در مقطعی خیلی حساس باشه، یه جا دیگه غیر حساس؟
مشکل دومش اینه که عینک خیلی حساسش رو زده و تا آخر برش نداشته. من میدونم وقتی تو داری از یه فرضیهای دفاع میکنی، طبیعیه که باید تمام شواهد و دلایل دفاعش رو هم بیاری، ولی درعینحال باید مراقب باشی دفاعِ زیادیت به خودزنی تبدیل نشه. توی این کتاب نویسنده هم داشت به حالت یه روانشناس دلسوز دست نوازشی بر بهاصطلاح خیلی حساسها میکشید، هم در مقاطعی توی سرشون میزد یا میگفت هی مراقب باش این چیزها رو نداشته باشی. دلیل این نگاه از رویکرد تکبُعدی نویسنده و اصرارش به خیلی حساس بودن میاد، همون اولی باعث دومی شده. همین که اصرار داره یه دسته هستن که خیلی حساسن. وقتی یه طرفه به قضیه نگاه کنی، درسته. خیلی حساسها همۀ این نگاههای منفی رو خواهند داشت، اما بیا برعکسش رو هم ببین؛ خیلی از مشکلات هم نمیتونن باعث خیلی حساس شدن بشن؟ راستش این طرفیش معقولتره حتی، به نظر من حداقل. یعنی اول یکسری مشکلات برای شما پیش میاد، بعد روی درجۀ حساسیتتون تأثیر میذاره.
مشکل سومش اینه که اوایل کتاب به شدت زرده و یه ویژگیهایی به خیلی حساسها نسبت میده که توی هرکسی ممکنه ببینی و لزوماً خیلی حساس نباشه. مشکل چهارمش اکراه نویسنده از ورود به سبقۀ علمی بر خیلی حساسهاست. کم اشاره میکنه به مطالعات قدیم، نظریههای نزدیک به خیلی حساس بودن، و عوامل علمیتر بر حساس بودن. من مثلاً حین خوندن فکر میکردم که ژنتیک و تربیت خیلی میتونه تأثیر بذاره ولی به نظرم خیلی کم به اینا اشاره کرده بود. نویسنده نگاهش اینطوریه که فرض کن همین الان خیلی حساسی. گذشتهت خیلی مهم نیست، بیا ببینیم الان چطوری هستی. که این یکی از رویکردهای روانشناسیه، کلاً رویکردها به اینکه نگاهشون به گذشته/حال/آینده باشن هم تقسیم میشن، ولی حتی رویکردی که بر حال یا آینده تکیه داره، یه گذری بر گذشته داره.
کتاب میتونست مطالعۀ خوبی باشه، اگر نویسنده اینقدر اصرار به دستۀ خاص خیلی حساس بودن نمیداشت و اینو میاومد بیشتر به عنوان یه نشانه یا یه ویژگی موقت یاد میکرد تا شبیه یه شخصیت. و رویکرد علمی میگرفت تا شرح افراد خیلی حساس (که دستهبندی سوگیرانهای داره و منجر به سوگیری بیشتر توی فرضیهشم شده) و راهکارهای عملیتری میداد.
September 17, 2016
In terms of managing heightened sensitivity to the constant bombardment of external stimuli in modern life such as noise, flickering video screens, general busyness and other peoples views and opinions this is a very good workbook.
I have mixed feelings about the typology of a highly sensitive person; on the one hand it can be very useful to discover that the character traits and ways of responding have an explanation and that you may not be the only person who is like this; on the other, you can gain a label and every reaction can be viewed through the lens of a highly sensitive person. At the extreme end this could lead to a victim mentally, i.e. 'I need to be treated this way because I am highly sensitive'. etc.
Can this be the case? Are some people more highly sensitive than others. If this is the case then are there senses, sight, sound, taste, touch and smell more physically developed in some humans than others? I suspect that there is a different explanation, that of nature. Individuals may have had to adapt to their early environments and if they have been bombarded by external stimuli, loud noises, arguing, negative judgements etc, they may develop a heightened sensitivity to these.
If these experiences are stressful then this may trigger fight or flight responses which become ingrained. It appears from this book that many of the responses of Highly Sensitive People are flight responses and the techniques suggested in this book echo this like taking an iPod around with you so that you can withdraw into your own world for a while or leaving social gatherings early when you begin to feel drained. This may work but may reinforce the sense that flight is the only way to manage sensitivity.
As ways of managing the flight response and dealing with difficult feelings such as anger, shame and guilt then this workbook is excellent as long as it is not seen as the be all and end all.
If you wish to look deeper and investigate and understand the actual flight responses then you may be better off looking elsewhere.
I received this book in a Goodreads first reads draw
I have mixed feelings about the typology of a highly sensitive person; on the one hand it can be very useful to discover that the character traits and ways of responding have an explanation and that you may not be the only person who is like this; on the other, you can gain a label and every reaction can be viewed through the lens of a highly sensitive person. At the extreme end this could lead to a victim mentally, i.e. 'I need to be treated this way because I am highly sensitive'. etc.
Can this be the case? Are some people more highly sensitive than others. If this is the case then are there senses, sight, sound, taste, touch and smell more physically developed in some humans than others? I suspect that there is a different explanation, that of nature. Individuals may have had to adapt to their early environments and if they have been bombarded by external stimuli, loud noises, arguing, negative judgements etc, they may develop a heightened sensitivity to these.
If these experiences are stressful then this may trigger fight or flight responses which become ingrained. It appears from this book that many of the responses of Highly Sensitive People are flight responses and the techniques suggested in this book echo this like taking an iPod around with you so that you can withdraw into your own world for a while or leaving social gatherings early when you begin to feel drained. This may work but may reinforce the sense that flight is the only way to manage sensitivity.
As ways of managing the flight response and dealing with difficult feelings such as anger, shame and guilt then this workbook is excellent as long as it is not seen as the be all and end all.
If you wish to look deeper and investigate and understand the actual flight responses then you may be better off looking elsewhere.
I received this book in a Goodreads first reads draw
August 4, 2020
I guess the biggest take-away for me was the concept itself. Apparently, being highly sensitive (HS) is a thing! Now I feel enough validation to finally cry to my favorite songs in public!
Jokes aside, I think that identifying and naming something is a powerful thing. Much like the introversion/extroversion concept, HS does not seem to be scientifically proven - but it sort of makes sense when you hear about it, you know?
The book is very much based on the author’s experience as a therapist, a minister, and a HS person herself. I wouldn’t say it digs very deep or cites a lot of research (apart from some experiments conducted a while ago). But then maybe it wasn’t meant to do that. It works nicely as an introduction to the topic and offers some advice on saving energy, dealing with conflict, and embracing your superpowers as a highly sensitive person.
Jokes aside, I think that identifying and naming something is a powerful thing. Much like the introversion/extroversion concept, HS does not seem to be scientifically proven - but it sort of makes sense when you hear about it, you know?
The book is very much based on the author’s experience as a therapist, a minister, and a HS person herself. I wouldn’t say it digs very deep or cites a lot of research (apart from some experiments conducted a while ago). But then maybe it wasn’t meant to do that. It works nicely as an introduction to the topic and offers some advice on saving energy, dealing with conflict, and embracing your superpowers as a highly sensitive person.
February 18, 2024
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March 8, 2019
Very insensitive review coming up.
This book felt more like a list of reasons for not coping and avoid doing anything mildly unpleasant than an explanation about highly sensitive people. It portrayed people sensitive to their environment as people unable to handle anything in their daily life and making it ok. It also marks highly sensitive people as people with slow brain functions unable to actually respond to the high input of data their brains are taking in. It never talks about people highly sensitive to their environment that can actually process the information faster than everyone around which is another part of being highly sensitive.
So basically, according to his book if you are highly sensitive, you need to avoid any stress factor, any unpleasant gathering, anything that might potentially make you tired. This book teaches you that you don't have to cope with your daily tasks because you don't have too, just stay in bed and be ok by yourself. The example that was the worse for me was that apparently it's ok for a mother not to get her children ready for school and to wake up when they are gone if it's too stressful for her to prepare them breakfast. I thought that was seriously ridiculous. With so many people being depressed and still managing to getting out of bed, the ideas in this book that they shouldn't even try because their body can't take it just anger me.
I don't know what kind of expertise there is in there but I didn't find anything appealing in this book. It offers no solution, it just tells you, you've got problems, that's too bad, nothing you can do but swim in them.
This book felt more like a list of reasons for not coping and avoid doing anything mildly unpleasant than an explanation about highly sensitive people. It portrayed people sensitive to their environment as people unable to handle anything in their daily life and making it ok. It also marks highly sensitive people as people with slow brain functions unable to actually respond to the high input of data their brains are taking in. It never talks about people highly sensitive to their environment that can actually process the information faster than everyone around which is another part of being highly sensitive.
So basically, according to his book if you are highly sensitive, you need to avoid any stress factor, any unpleasant gathering, anything that might potentially make you tired. This book teaches you that you don't have to cope with your daily tasks because you don't have too, just stay in bed and be ok by yourself. The example that was the worse for me was that apparently it's ok for a mother not to get her children ready for school and to wake up when they are gone if it's too stressful for her to prepare them breakfast. I thought that was seriously ridiculous. With so many people being depressed and still managing to getting out of bed, the ideas in this book that they shouldn't even try because their body can't take it just anger me.
I don't know what kind of expertise there is in there but I didn't find anything appealing in this book. It offers no solution, it just tells you, you've got problems, that's too bad, nothing you can do but swim in them.
November 9, 2018
It was interesting to learn about the highly sensitive person. I picked up this book hoping to learn more about myself, but I‘m uncertain whether I can relate to the personality traits described. Sand‘s claim that 1 in 5 peoples are highly sensitive seems like a stretch.
Some of the suggested coping mechanisms for overwhelming or overstimulating situations appear as an effort to mask reality rather than to accept it. One such example is that if a colleague does not greet you on the street, it may be more helpful to rationalize that their eyesight is poor, leading to feelings of gratefulness for your own eyesight, than to rationalize that they may be angry with you, leading to (negative) feelings of doubt. While I understand that gratefulness is a more constructive emotion than doubt, making up fictional scenarios to make yourself feel better is a form of denial. There must be a healthier way to approach this uncomfortable scenario.
Similar to the above example, Sand shares advises that, personally, seem out of place in a social setting. Then again, maybe that‘s simply because I‘m not highly sensitive? I’m not sure, I‘ll definitely do some more research.
Some of the suggested coping mechanisms for overwhelming or overstimulating situations appear as an effort to mask reality rather than to accept it. One such example is that if a colleague does not greet you on the street, it may be more helpful to rationalize that their eyesight is poor, leading to feelings of gratefulness for your own eyesight, than to rationalize that they may be angry with you, leading to (negative) feelings of doubt. While I understand that gratefulness is a more constructive emotion than doubt, making up fictional scenarios to make yourself feel better is a form of denial. There must be a healthier way to approach this uncomfortable scenario.
Similar to the above example, Sand shares advises that, personally, seem out of place in a social setting. Then again, maybe that‘s simply because I‘m not highly sensitive? I’m not sure, I‘ll definitely do some more research.
January 23, 2019
начало было многообещающим, а потом стало понятно, что что-то с этой книгой не то. не советую!
November 3, 2022
I check out most of my books from the library. This was one book that I then purchased for my personal library. I am a highly sensitive person and this booked helped me to know myself more.
February 22, 2019
Huh, who would have thought I needed to hear so many of the things about something I've been all of my life (a highly sensitive person). It was good.
January 3, 2021
I know it's still a bit of a contested word, but as is said in this book, it's estimated that around 1/5 of people is highly sensitive (though bc of little research and previously skewed research it's hard to tell), which basically describes a bit of a personality type. If you're sensitive to smells/sounds/visuals, need a lot of time alone to charge (though you might be extroverted), are very aware of other people's feelings, are creative and/or have a rich imagination, have a low pain tolerance, and love being in nature, maybe this can be enlightening to you, too. It's not a disorder, just something that helps to be aware of.
All in all then, this was a really nice and enlightening read. It covers quite a lot about being highly sensitive, but rarely goes in-depth. I think that mostly makes it a good starting point if you want to learn a lot about ir and how it affects someone in a broad sense, without difficult language and within 150ish pages (+ tips and a little self-test). It also includes small anecdotes from highly sensitive people the author has spoken to, which was nice.
All in all then, this was a really nice and enlightening read. It covers quite a lot about being highly sensitive, but rarely goes in-depth. I think that mostly makes it a good starting point if you want to learn a lot about ir and how it affects someone in a broad sense, without difficult language and within 150ish pages (+ tips and a little self-test). It also includes small anecdotes from highly sensitive people the author has spoken to, which was nice.
April 30, 2022
2/5
Not the book I am looking for; it is a little too general and personally I do not find the suggestions useful.
整本書讀起來有點雞湯，即便我和作者一樣都是高敏感的人，書裡的分析和建議感覺很虛無，簡單來說，我覺得並不會起太大作用。當作者在第四章時說到「大部分會接受心理治療的人，都是因為不夠愛自己」，我已經放棄接下來原本要讀的作者的其他作品了。
Not the book I am looking for; it is a little too general and personally I do not find the suggestions useful.
整本書讀起來有點雞湯，即便我和作者一樣都是高敏感的人，書裡的分析和建議感覺很虛無，簡單來說，我覺得並不會起太大作用。當作者在第四章時說到「大部分會接受心理治療的人，都是因為不夠愛自己」，我已經放棄接下來原本要讀的作者的其他作品了。
May 5, 2018
Jau kopš bērnības apkārtējie teica, ka nav normāli pavadīt visu dienu vienatnē vai dabā, lasot grāmatu pēc grāmatas. Neko nevarēju padarīt, patīk un viss, lai radi un draugi pieņem šo īpatnību. :D
Bet, ja nopietni, tad šī grāmata noteikti ir foršs atbalsts tiem cilvēkiem, kam patīk vairāk vienatne nevis drūzmēšanās pūļos un ballītēs. Par īpaši jūtīgiem cilvēkiem jau biju dzirdējusi, bet tiem, kas nezina, Ilse Sanda ļoti saprotami un interesanti pastāstīs.
Ļoti patika lasīt arī citu cilvēku pieredzi, viņu dzīves situācijas, un vairs nejusties kā tādai vientuļai salai. Iesaku gan īpaši jūtīgiem cilvēkiem, gan viņu radiem un draugiem.
Bet, ja nopietni, tad šī grāmata noteikti ir foršs atbalsts tiem cilvēkiem, kam patīk vairāk vienatne nevis drūzmēšanās pūļos un ballītēs. Par īpaši jūtīgiem cilvēkiem jau biju dzirdējusi, bet tiem, kas nezina, Ilse Sanda ļoti saprotami un interesanti pastāstīs.
Ļoti patika lasīt arī citu cilvēku pieredzi, viņu dzīves situācijas, un vairs nejusties kā tādai vientuļai salai. Iesaku gan īpaši jūtīgiem cilvēkiem, gan viņu radiem un draugiem.
July 31, 2022
I think this book wasn't particularly revolutionary or eye-opening for me but it was incredibly validating to read some of the experiences of other people who identify as highly-sensitive and to feel a sense of relief and comradery from them. For the longest time, I've struggled with feeling "weak" or "dramatic" for being sensitive and easily overwhelmed in situations where others seem to be unaffected but as I've grown into myself I've learned to cherish my ability to experience and perceive the world intensely and this book certainly reassures and encourages highly sensitive people to do so. It makes for a nice table-side read!
February 26, 2019
Kendinden çok şey bulursun da kendini tanımaya bir adım daha yaklaştırır seni. İşte öyle kitaplardan biri oldu benim için. Aşırı duyarlı olmayı bir zayıflık olarak değil, farklı bir yetenek olarak görmek gerektiğini vurguluyor yazar. Diğer insanlardan farklı gördüğüm yanlarımı kabullenmem için bir rehber işlevi gördü diyebilirim. Keşke daha uzun ve açıklayıcı olsaydı. Bir çırpıda bitiverdi.
November 3, 2019
Clearly a nice guide for anyone who hits high sensitivity mark. In today’s world it’s extremely easy with disturbing social networks behaviors. Although superficial, the book mentions lots of therapeutic tools to cope with anxiety and being overly sensitive to life.
March 30, 2024
For those who are looking into highly sensitivity traits for themselves, this is a great overview that’s easy to read. It gives great basics and honestly you could speed read this in a day. However, if you are an HSP, go slow as it can take a moment to set in.
Obviously, not from a full Christian perspective, but in terms of explaining who I am and how God created others…this describes it well. I know now to rest when needed and to keep seeking help. If you find basic organization and “trying harder” isn’t working, this may give yourself some grace and a starting point to figure out how God created you to live.
Also lends a great perspective to decide if you are a HSP or BPD.
Obviously, not from a full Christian perspective, but in terms of explaining who I am and how God created others…this describes it well. I know now to rest when needed and to keep seeking help. If you find basic organization and “trying harder” isn’t working, this may give yourself some grace and a starting point to figure out how God created you to live.
Also lends a great perspective to decide if you are a HSP or BPD.
April 4, 2015
Through the years I've come to discover, that I have a sensitive system, which is both a gift, that helps me in my job and to relate to people, to understand them, but a gift that also brings it's challenges with it. I get easily affected by other peoples moods, I get drained when im in crowded areas for too long, and I think things over and need breaks and rests - if i overwork my system, it breaks down, and it is not of much use to me or anyone else. With a passionate and (over)responsible nature, i have to be careful not to burn myself out. let's just say ive learned this the hard way.
This has been a discovery proces for me, to realise how i work. And a whole different chapter not to feel bad about it, not to feel 'less' about it. And not to overexhaust myself, but to keep my fine system balanced and at its best.
This book reflected back to me much of what ive already learned. But it was nice to hear it from someone else, to not feel so alone, or so different. There's other people out there, for whom the pace of the world and the stimulation can be just too much, and who have to adjust.
When we learn how we work, we can take better care of ourselves - and each other.
This has been a discovery proces for me, to realise how i work. And a whole different chapter not to feel bad about it, not to feel 'less' about it. And not to overexhaust myself, but to keep my fine system balanced and at its best.
This book reflected back to me much of what ive already learned. But it was nice to hear it from someone else, to not feel so alone, or so different. There's other people out there, for whom the pace of the world and the stimulation can be just too much, and who have to adjust.
When we learn how we work, we can take better care of ourselves - and each other.
October 13, 2022
Cuốn sách này đề cập đến cách xác định xem bạn có phải là một người có độ nhạy cảm cao (HSP) hay không và sau đó hướng dẫn những người nhạy cảm trong cuộc sống hàng ngày của họ. Cuốn sách cung cấp các mẹo thiết thực để vượt qua các cuộc đấu tranh bên trong và bên ngoài mà các HSP phải đối mặt.
Vì là người nhạy cảm cảm cao nên tớ thấy khá ‘kết nối’ với cuốn sách. Tớ cũng đã tìm hiểu về chủ đề này một thời gian rồi nên tớ khá ‘khó tính’ khi đọc cuốn này. May mà cũng không thất vọng lắm. Nếu cậu là một người nhạy cảm và vẫn còn phân vân hay nghi ngờ về bản thân thì cuốn sách này là dành cho cậu. Hãy cứ yêu thương bản thân nhé ❤️
Vì là người nhạy cảm cảm cao nên tớ thấy khá ‘kết nối’ với cuốn sách. Tớ cũng đã tìm hiểu về chủ đề này một thời gian rồi nên tớ khá ‘khó tính’ khi đọc cuốn này. May mà cũng không thất vọng lắm. Nếu cậu là một người nhạy cảm và vẫn còn phân vân hay nghi ngờ về bản thân thì cuốn sách này là dành cho cậu. Hãy cứ yêu thương bản thân nhé ❤️
June 22, 2017
Книжка одновременно обо всем и ни о чем. У меня сложилось ощущение в духе "и да, и нет": как только автор что-то заявляет, он еще два абзаца объясняет, почему бывает по-другому.
Читать тем, кто осознает, что переживает многие чувства намного сильнее остальных, кто склонен к постоянному накручиванию себя. Тем, кто способен так глубоко погрузиться в проблемы других, что начинает принимать их за свои. Тем, кто после критики в свой адрес, еще долгое время может прокручивать сказанные слова в голове.
Читать тем, кто осознает, что переживает многие чувства намного сильнее остальных, кто склонен к постоянному накручиванию себя. Тем, кто способен так глубоко погрузиться в проблемы других, что начинает принимать их за свои. Тем, кто после критики в свой адрес, еще долгое время может прокручивать сказанные слова в голове.
December 1, 2018
Книга очень помогла разобраться в себе, не мучаться угрызениями совести за свое поведение перед собой, близкими людьми. Нашла причину частой раздражительности и усталости. Поняла каким человеком я являюсь, какие у меня потребности.
Сделала памятку, написав что мне сложно сделать, что мне помогает, что позволило моему окружёнию больше меня понять и принять.
Сделала памятку, написав что мне сложно сделать, что мне помогает, что позволило моему окружёнию больше меня понять и принять.
January 4, 2019
Kendinizi analiz etme açısından faydalı bir kitap.
March 30, 2019
I'm beyond glad to encounter and finish reading this book. So relatable and helpful
January 16, 2022
This book is one of my favourite read from last year. Ilse Sand writes about the highly sensitive people, their characteristics, struggles and ways to navigate through the world. It can be a great book to understand yourself if you are a highly sensitive person and also to know the ways to be with a highly sensitive person.
I loved the book because I felt seen and heard. I felt that I am not the one and it's ok to feel like this.
Some of my takeaways from the book.
-The idea of 'highly sensitive person' was introduced by Elaine Aron (1997). She showed us that being introverted and highly sensitive are not the same thing.
-It's hard to take things lightly for us. We easily get affected by others' behavior and can sense a slight change in them. So we feel it's our responsibility to do everything.
-They are compassionate and good listeners so they can do pretty good in care work.
-Study shows that sensitive children are less likely to cheat or act selfishly even if no-one is watching them.
-They can become inconsiderate or be difficult to be with if they're overstimulated or overwhelmed.
-They think others will be considerate like them. And as they take time to care, it makes them slow in responding.
-They are good at imagining both good and worst scenarios.
-Sensitive people are not good at arguing or fighting. Because they are considerate and don't want to hurt others.
- Sensation-seeking sensitive person is someone who gets bored with repetition but also gets exhausted with adventure.
It's ok to feel this way. You need to accept yourself, love yourself, give the love and care that you show to others.
You don't need to take all the responsibilities, let others understand that.
Understand your trigger and feelings to control the situation.
You matter. Take care of yourself. You can make difference just simply with your presence.
I loved the book because I felt seen and heard. I felt that I am not the one and it's ok to feel like this.
Some of my takeaways from the book.
-The idea of 'highly sensitive person' was introduced by Elaine Aron (1997). She showed us that being introverted and highly sensitive are not the same thing.
-It's hard to take things lightly for us. We easily get affected by others' behavior and can sense a slight change in them. So we feel it's our responsibility to do everything.
-They are compassionate and good listeners so they can do pretty good in care work.
-Study shows that sensitive children are less likely to cheat or act selfishly even if no-one is watching them.
-They can become inconsiderate or be difficult to be with if they're overstimulated or overwhelmed.
-They think others will be considerate like them. And as they take time to care, it makes them slow in responding.
-They are good at imagining both good and worst scenarios.
-Sensitive people are not good at arguing or fighting. Because they are considerate and don't want to hurt others.
- Sensation-seeking sensitive person is someone who gets bored with repetition but also gets exhausted with adventure.
It's ok to feel this way. You need to accept yourself, love yourself, give the love and care that you show to others.
You don't need to take all the responsibilities, let others understand that.
Understand your trigger and feelings to control the situation.
You matter. Take care of yourself. You can make difference just simply with your presence.
April 11, 2020
کتاب رو از دوستِ عزیزی هدیه گرفتم و با دوستِ عزیزِ دیگهای در جای دیگهای هم-خوانی کردم. بیشتر به نقد و ایراد کتاب پرداختیم. چیزی که در مورد کتاب میتونم بگم اینکه بیشتر از اصطلاحاتی عامه پسند استفاده کرده و لحن مطلب به گونهای بود که مشخصا قصد نویسنده رو یعنی همراه کردن مخاطب و نظر موافق از خواننده گرفتن القا میکنه تا اینکه واقعا نظر جدیدی ارائه بده. در واقع اگر از پیش، کتابهای معتبر و تعاریف دقیق تری رو مطالعه نکرده بودم قطعا به اشتباه میفتادم. از ایرادات کتاب همین مثال رو میتونم بزنم که از تفهیم اصطلاحات مهم و پایه ای مثلِ "عزت نفس" و "اعتماد به نفس" هم درمونده و تعریف را برعکس ارائه داده و تا آخِر اگر حواست نباشه باعث سوءبرداشت میشه. فصول دیگه هم ایراداتی داشت. اما کتاب روانه و راحت یکروزه میشه خوند که من به دلیل برنامه های دیگه کم کم خوندمش. و جاهاییش مطالب خوبی داشت مثلا در جایی که میشد به طور تلویحی خطاهای شناختی رو توی متن پیدا کرد و به نوعی تمرین حافظه بود و درس پس دادن که لذت بخش بود برای من یا فصل 4 که در مورد سطوح ارتباطات گفته شده بود.
January 18, 2024
I now understand a lot of things about myself that I didn't before.
The analysis was considerate of a lot of elements and different groups of people. I found myself relating to the things that were said more than I expected. I feel that the decision to add personal experiences from different people of different ages was a great way to give a sense of familiarity and not alienate those readers who could relate to the topics that were talked about in this book. It was thoughtful and enlightening.
The analysis was considerate of a lot of elements and different groups of people. I found myself relating to the things that were said more than I expected. I feel that the decision to add personal experiences from different people of different ages was a great way to give a sense of familiarity and not alienate those readers who could relate to the topics that were talked about in this book. It was thoughtful and enlightening.
June 5, 2021
As a highly sensitive person, I appreciate this book. I related with a lot of things, which made me enjoy the book a lot. But I also liked the author's effort to explain that, like with everything, not all highly sensitive people are the same and therefore, I'm most likely not gonna check all the boxes she mentions (which I did not).
A quick read that may make you feel less alone and/or understand yourself a bit more.
A quick read that may make you feel less alone and/or understand yourself a bit more.
August 10, 2021
Một quyển sách nhẹ nhàng và thực tế, có thể xem là kim chỉ nam cho những người nhạy cảm. Nhận thấy bản thân nhiều hơn qua những trang sách, nhận thức được nhiều khía cạnh của cuộc sống, và cách để phản hồi lại khi gặp những vấn đề khó khăn đối với người nhạy cảm. Chấp nhận và yêu thương chính mình, hay sự nhạy cảm của mình, sẽ giúp bản thân sớm có thể yêu thương cuộc sống nhiều hơn. Nhạy cảm không phải là khuyết điểm, nhạy cảm tạo nên sự phong phú cho tính cách của mỗi người.
February 27, 2018
Forša grāmata, kas palīdzēja salikt pa plauktiņiem visu ko tādu, ko jau pa daļai zināju, bet vēl nebiju līdz galam sapratusi. Daži ļoti trāpīgi citāti, ko gribētos ietetovēt smadzenēs par vainas apziņu vietā un nevietā un savu personisko robežu novilkšanu atbilstoši savām spējām un vajadzībām nevis tam, ko var un vēlas, un kas ir "normāli" pārējiem.
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