Before Your Wedding

by Laura Nielson Denke, Conrad Denke (Editor)

Preparation is the key to a successful marriage. If you have ever seen the popular sitcom Seinfeld, you may remember the episode where Jerry ends a relationship. He and his fiancée sit face to face in their often-frequented café. Looking at each other, they blurt out at the same time, I hate you! Laughing, Jerry and his fiancée stand up, smile, say good-bye, and she leaves. Jerry sits down and leans back in his booth with a satisfied look on his face, having just experienced the perfect break-up. This, of course, does not happen in the real world. Its more often like the Breaking Up is Hard to Do. People fall in and out of love every day, some before marriage and some after. Today, about 50% of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. It's too bad that many of those couples couldn't have fallen out of love before marriage, before children, and before they built their lives together. Fortunate are the man and woman who fall in love and are also perfectly suited for a life together. Some people call it luck. I call it preparation. Wise courtship is much more than flowers & chocolate when two people have the foresight to spend time examining each other's views, goals, personality differences, cultural backgrounds, and expectations of marriage. Are they really compatible and suited for a life together? Are there too many unknowns? Are there too many differences? Does he/she have compatible dreams, philosophies of life, and goals? Leaving a decision as important as marriage to luck is as foolish as buying a beautiful boat for a long journey around the world, without examining its sea worthiness. Many couples take six months to a year planning their wedding. They spend hours selecting just the right dress, location, caterer, and invitations. They pay thousands of dollars for the celebration. Sadly, too many of these couples only plan for the show, the wedding ceremony and reception. They fail to prepare for real life, the 50 plus years of daily living in the subsequent marriage. Their priorities are clearly misplaced. There is nothing wrong with a lavish wedding celebration if the couple can afford it, as long as they have also spent the necessary hours in premarital counseling to ensure a happy and smooth journey afterwards. 7This premarital counseling course is designed to give couples the help they need to plan their lives together. It was created to help partners study out whether or not they will be able to work together to ensure many years of a successful married life. After thoroughly answering each question and discussing the topics in depth, each partner should have a clear picture of positive or negative compatibility. The presence or absence of the skill to accept differences and work together to build a unified and lasting relationship will become apparent. If a couple finds that they have too many differences and unresolved issues after taking this course, I recommend professional counseling. Couples should not leave marriage to chance. A marriage affects too many lives negatively when ended in divorce. How often have I heard engaged couples, who know very little about each other, say, "We're in love. We'll get married and things will just work out by themselves. You'll see." This viewpoint often leads to a marriage full of disappointment, lives of quiet desperation, or divorce. This course is designed to help partners understand each other better, to face their differences, resolve important issues, and plan for an exciting life together. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

208 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2003

Reviews

[Dionne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommended for anybody thinking of getting married!! Even great for those who are married to learn more about each other's views and opinions.