Pay Attention, for Goodness' Sake: Practicing the Perfections of the Heart--The Buddhist Path of Kindness

by Sylvia Boorstein

According to the Buddha, the path of kindness is the path of happiness. Now Sylvia Boorstein, nationally bestselling author of It’s Easier Than You Think, has taken the 2500-year-old practice of developing the qualities of a compassionate heart—the core of the Buddha’s own practice—and made it accessible to all. Pay Attention for Goodness’ Sake is the first book ever to guide Western readers on the path of the Buddha’s Ten Paramitas, the Perfections of the Heart. Boorstein combines traditional Buddhist teachings and parables with stories from her own life, as well as easy-to-follow meditations, to show how the practice of Mindfulness—paying attention in everyday life—can lead to these perfections that all of us strive for, including Generosity, Morality, Wisdom, Energy, Patience, Determination, and Equanimity.

When we take on this practice, Boorstein notes, “our vision becomes transformed. We see, with increasing clarity, the confusion in our own minds and the suffering in our own hearts. . . . And we also see the extraordinariness of life, how amazing it is that life exists.” Boorstein’s lively and practical lessons about everyday generosity, morality, making and mending mistakes, the bliss of blamelessness, and other human concerns and frailties, help to clarify our distractions and connect us with our own goodness, “the part of ourselves that wishes it had done differently.”

For Buddhist and non-Buddhist alike, Pay Attention for Goodness’ Sake is a cheerful, inspiring book that offers the possibility of a transformed life.

Genres: Buddhism, Nonfiction, Spirituality, Meditation, Self Help, Philosophy, Personal Growth

284 pages, Hardcover

First published August 27, 2002

About the author

Sylvia Boorstein (born 1936) is an American writer and Buddhist spiritualist.

Reviews

[D · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Paramitas
Generosity
Morality
Renunciation
Wisdom
Energy
Patience
Truthfulness
Determination
Lovingkindness
Equanimity

Four Noble Truths
I. Life is challenging. For everyone. Our physical bodies, our relationships -- all our life circumstances -- are fragile and subject to change. We are always accommodating.

II. The cause of suffering is the mind’s struggle in response to challenge.

III. The end of suffering -- a nonstruggling, peaceful mind -- is possible.
IV. The program -- the Eightfold Path -- for ending suffering is

1. Understanding - realizing the cause of suffering
2. Intention: motivation to end suffering
3. Speech: Speaking in a way that cultivates clarity
4. Action: Behaving in ways that maintain clarity
5. Livelihood: Supporting oneself in a wholesome way
6. Effort: Cultivating skillful mind habits
7. Concentration: Cultivating a steady, focused, easy mind
8. Mindfulness: Cultivating alert, balanced attention

When we see clearly, we behave impeccably out of love on behalf of all beings.

Do no harm to anyone
Take nothing that is not freely given
Speak truthfully and helpfully
Use sexual energy wisely
Keep the mind clear.

Three Characteristics of Experience

1. Everything is always changing (impermanent)
2. Suffering is extra tension created in the mind when it struggles
3. Nothing has a substance existence apart from contingency (interdependence)

Everyone coming and going ~ how heroic people around, everyone walking around in the middle of their whole personal life of suffering and happiness, doing the best they can

You’re not going to get to do today over.

What’s going on here that I don’t see?
What am I missing?
What would open my heart of lift it up?

Patience, by definition, can only be present in response to a visiting stress.
Patience depends on being able to feel at home, to relax in the middle of tension

Patience remains present as long as the mind remembers that things end
Concentration keeps the mind tranquil and the body comfortable so that Patience can keep itself from running out.

Each new moment of experience is related to the previous one, contingent on it but different. Think of developing Patience as practicing abiding in the moment.
We could choose not to hurry, not to miss this moment, not to miss our lives. We could abide.

Think it over for a long time.

A wise person, upon acknowledging the truth,
becomes like a lake;
clear and deep and still.
Find friends who love the truth. - Buddha

Sgt Friday - Dragnet: Just the facts

May I feel protected and safe.
May I feel contented and pleased.
May my physical body provide me with strength.
May my life unfold smoothly with ease.

EM Forster: A Passage to India: Only connect.

Wherever you are right no, pay attention. Forever.

[Laila · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspiration for living in a world that will make you crazy! I will buy this one so I can re-read and refer to it as necessary. I highly recommend for anyone who feels the need for more peace in their life. Sylvia Boorstein's style is so warm and friendly and accessible. She's a treasure.

[Sian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delightful as per usual

[Kimee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved Sylvia Borstein's interview with Krista Tippett on the 'On Being' podcast, and have been keeping an eye out for her books ever since, so I was happy to stumble on this when in the Sunset library.

This book was a helpful tool for me, and I would recommend it to anyone interested in learning more about Buddhist principles and how to practically be more calm. It personally helped me and I would've given if five stars if I weren't so annoyed by the last chapter or so that uses an example that fails to take privilege into account at all. I'd still read more of Boorstein and recommend.

Also, true story: a bus I was riding popped a tire while I was reading this book, giving me a perfect opportunity to put it into practice!

Favorite parts:
- I love the concept of working toward "enlightened moments" instead of enlightenment. So much more approachable.
- The way she outlined The Four Noble Truths reminded me a lot of writing good code, clear, direct , and logical.
- Virtuous behavior -> Attention -> Insight -> Wisdom -> Compassion
- I love the "five generous acts a day" challenge and want to get on that myself.
- Right Speech is truthful _and_ helpful, _and_ useful _and_ not hurtful.
- I love how Boorstein recognizes when she is about to do something unkind and stops herself. I need to do the same, "I'm in the middle of making a mistake. Please forgive me."
- I've never felt more seen than when Boorstein wrote, "No...I'm sure I can't be perfect. I pay attention so I won't be worse. And...I think everything matters."
- The idea of moving the marketplace into the home via online shopping was a new and interesting one to me. Of course I don't want the same energy in my home as the mall!
- "This is what I can do and I'll do it" vs. "I need things to be another way."
- "My thoughts are not me."

[Cindywho · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sylvia Boorstein organizes and presents and illustrates with stories in a cheerful tone the 10 Paramitas or Buddhist virtues. At first I was put off by her personality. She seems like a happy extrovert who has lots of friends to share her spiritual journey with and a genuine desire to perfect herself. Feeling like her polar opposite, I took a little time to sit with the resentment I feel for not being like that and the book grew on me and I enjoyed it more.

[Florence Millo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not a Buddhist. I’ve never taken a class or attended a retreat on it. I heard Sylvia Boorstein on Krista Tippet’s podcast On Being and was interested in what she said. I checked the book out of the library but found it so full of insight that I plan to buy a copy so that I can read it slowly as many times as I want. I have no idea if this book is typical of Buddhist philosophy or not but I did find that many of her thoughts on the paramitas were very much in line with my life experiences and conclusions.

[Pat · Rating 4 out of 5]

©2002 Personal library

"Pay Attention for Goodness’ Sake" guides Western readers on the path of the Buddha’s Ten Paramitas, the Perfections of the Heart. Boorstein combines traditional Buddhist teachings and parables with stories from her own life, as well as easy-to-follow meditations, to show how the practice of Mindfulness—paying attention in everyday life—can lead to these perfections that all of us strive for, including Generosity, Morality, Wisdom, Energy, Patience, Determination, and Equanimity.

This is a book I will keep.

[VeeDawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book shows "how the practice of Mindfulness—paying attention in everyday life—can lead to these perfections that all of us strive for, including Generosity, Morality, Wisdom, Energy, Patience, Determination, and Equanimity."
I have not read Buddhist teachings before, but I really enjoyed this book and the author's way of making the perfections so livable:
"Mindfulness--awakened connection to the moment; focused, and balanced attention..."
"Only connect. Wherever you are, right now, pay attention. Forever."

[Nicole Cleary · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those books that I pick up in quiet early mornings to savor one chapter as I start my day. Each chapter is its own little teaching. Sylvia is a well loved Buddhist teacher and this book offers a beautiful set of reflections on the qualities we can all feed within ourselves that directly translate to greater happiness, ease and peace. And I do want greater happiness, ease and peace.

[Adam Zuwerink · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book I have read by Mrs. Boorstein, and I understand why others consider her to be a luminary for what it means to be a "Western Buddhist" lay teacher. This book is an outstanding reinterpretation and blending of the ancient wisdom of the Buddhist Perfection of the Heart with modern storytelling.

[Jean · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sylvia Boorstein is probably my favorite guide to mindfulness. She teaches the core principles of Buddhist philosophy by tying them directly to personal experience in simple stories about everyday living. Life is difficult, and it's okay.

[Nikole · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Sylvias ability to bring Buddhism from some intimidating concepts(how will I ever let go of the ego or find peace?) to a beautiful story that makes you feel like you can and will find peace. Thank you.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another down-to-earth and practical approach from Sylvia

Really nice, the third book I’ve read by this author. She’s very real, and her teachings very practical. I love how she always includes experiences from her own life or others. Very easy to connect to.

[Rae Simpson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Minuteman. Very analytical approach to Buddhism, but usual strictures and what's the right way. A few helpful insights, masterful overview.

[Carole · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book immensely.

[Alan Eyre · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love her books.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another lovely book by Boorstein, full of humor and goodwill

[Dogsandbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Second book with my Buddhism 101 book group

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

beautiful and thoughtful and kind

[Terrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

So beautifully and clearly written, with a perfect ending - Life is so difficult. How can we be anything but kind. She makes you see it can be done.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Normally this type of book is so hard to read, but this one was super engaging and had a lot of wisdom.

[Jessica Chapman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love the occasional dose of Boorstein's calming, reassuring, self-effacing anecdotes.

[Dianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Buddhist principles put to daily use. Easy to read and understand. Inspiring!

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

The right book for my current state of mind. Thanks Sylvia Boorstein.

[Jim Lavis · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful book. Sylvia, the author, touches my heart. She has the knack of simplifying personal challenges through stories that offer a solution based on Buddhist principles that are practical. Her stories are so thought provoking they challenge the way readers look at their own dilemmas.

As many of you know, I read these books to help center my thoughts around mindfulness. Often life’s challenges disrupt and influence our decisions in a negative way, and these inspirational books guide me in choosing a compassionate way of viewing my own troubles. It has been a true gift to have her as a trusted advisor through her works.

I hope one day I’ll have the privilege of meeting Ms. Boorstein.

[Mark Gelula · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a well done book which covers the 10 Paramitas. Boorstein has been at this for 50 years and she really has great insight. I like her "spread sheet"-like approach to the ten Paramitas, giving suggestions for how to think about and translate them into daily meditation and action.

This is a good book for "Buddhist" beginners and a very good book for those with sitting and practice experience.

[MaryLynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book even though I normally require a book that has a plot. I thought the author inserted herself into it a bit much, but I really liked the points she made. I resolved to slow down, pay better attention to those around me, and be more compassionate. I do not ever see myself meditating, but there is still lots to learn from this book.

[Bernadette · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sylvia Boorstein is the perfect antidote to my days of uncertainty and unease. In this book, she extols the virtues of mindfulness, providing a quick and dirty outline of Buddhist paramitas (or virtues) and how we can apply them to our own lives. I love her conversational tone and complete accessibility.

[Joyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best books, I think, on understanding the Buddhist path.

Boorstein is kind, funny and authentic. The concepts are set out in an understandable format with personal anecdotes that further illustrate various ideas.

I highly recommend for anyone interested in learning more about developing a kinder heart.

[Brooke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful. Not all the chapters spoke to me, but those that did we're wonderful and heart-opening. The Lovingkindness and Equanimity chapters were particularly helpful for me in dealing with my grief.