When my wife announced we were going skiing with friends this Christmas in Colorado, I confess to having a moment of terror. Ironically, I was in the middle of reading "The Owlsfane Horror," which is also about a Christmas vacation on the ski slopes. Reading this book did not help me look forward to my trip.
Now granted, I've only been skiing once. I was living in Missouri at the time, and there was a place you could go skiing or snowboarding in that not-very-mountainous state when the winters were sufficiently cold and snowy. I'm a southern boy and had never been skiing on anything but UNFROZEN water. So I took the bunny slope while my friends all galavanted off to more challenging territory. It was just me and what seemed like hundreds of little Ewoks, who flew around me as gracefully as mosquitoes while I desperately tried to keep my balance. All these damn children had flattened the course to the point where there was no actual powder, so I felt more like I was skating than skiing. Just when I felt I was getting the hang of it, clipping along for a few seconds at a nice pace, here comes some little turd right in my path. "Get out of the way!" I'd scream, terrifying the poor girl or boy so that they'd fall and I'd go catapulting over them in a spray of wet ice. My friends found me at the bar a few hours later, nursing a hot chocolate and my injured pride.
So though I can't say I like skiing, one thing I do like is haunted house stories. "The Owlsfane Horror" combines both, because unlike me, author Duffy Stein evidently loved the sport. The novel is set in a real ski lodge and historic home in Vermont where the author had actually visited, though she is careful to say that none of the events of the story actually happened... but they COULD have....
Enter Sandy and her preppie fiance David, who drags her to the resort town of Owlsfane to show off--er, I mean, to teach her how to ski. It must be true love, because she'd much rather be spending her vacation on a warm beach doing nothing athletic at all. I'm with you, girl!
Turns out that one of the draws of this particular little spot are the haunted house and cemetery the next door. The house used to belong to a wealthy local who accidentally buried his daughter alive in the family mausoleum.
The owner of the ski lodge is a guy named Bob. You knew there had to be a "Bob" in an Eighties Paperback From Hell! This particular Bob has all the ghost stories memorized for each season of new guests, so the novel kicks off with some fireside exposition from Bob straight out of the films "Friday the 13th Part 2" and "Madman."
After hearing Bob's story, Sandy is intrigued. She decides to go exploring the haunted house. It's a bad idea. Turns out, Sandy is the spitting image of the daughter who had been buried alive, and so her presence has captured the attention of the resident ghost who is still grieving the death of his daughter after all these years. Now, it is not so much the house that is haunted, but Sandy herself.
Okay, so the spooky backstory is pretty good, if not a bit of a cliché, but does the rest of the novel hold up? Not so much.
My biggest problem with the novel concerned the characters. I do not mind books with an ensemble cast, as long as most are fleshed out personalities. But aside from Sandy, most of the people we meet are rather wooden. There's also not one, not two, but three annoying child characters. The author tries to add a little color to everyone by having them engage in endless banter early on. Unfortunately, none of them have very interesting things to say. Dialogue consists mostly of smartass, snarky comments.
Nor are the pages packed with what you've come to love pulp paperbacks for. There's some sex and violence, but it is of the vanilla variety. Nothing too over-the-top for the squeamish. Most of the book features our heroine having nightmares and premonitions and sleepwalking episodes. She also starts developing idiopathic rashes on her arms that are reminiscent of burns, while her boyfriend, a psychiatrist, and local doctors try to figure out what her problem is. The plot gets a little repetitious and padded out to the point of being boring. In fact, it took me a while to read this one, because I had to walk away from it for a few weeks to finish it.
Still, I couldn't get too mad at it. It did have some effective chills and the writing was able to evoke the intended atmosphere and mental images to make for a fairly engaging experience. Overall, I'd say this book may appeal to some fans of vintage horrors as a fairly fun little romp for both the Halloween and Christmas seasons.
And hey, if you decide to read this, you'll have to get the out-of-print paperback which features a classic step-back cover design with a woman, presumably buried alive, clawing her way out of the pages. I really do miss the days when buying a book off the shelves was truly browsing through works of art. That's why I still read these things, folks.
Anyway, I expect my own ski-trip this Christmas will be much scarier than this book. Wish me luck, everyone!
SCORE: 2 broken skis out of 5
WORD OF THE DAY: Effulgence