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Letter to my Congregation: An Evangelical Pastor’s Path to Embracing People who are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender into the Company of Jesus
“A breakthrough work coming from the heart of evangelical Christianity,” writes theologian David Gushee. “Wilson shows how God has led him on a journey toward a rethinking of what the fully authoritative and inspired Bible ought to be taken to mean in the life of the church today.”
“This book … will shape what the church becomes,” writes anthropologist Tanya Luhrmann.
“One of the most exquisite, painful, candid, brilliant pieces … that I have ever seen,” writes Christian author Phyllis Tickle.
The second edition contains expanded material.
“This book … will shape what the church becomes,” writes anthropologist Tanya Luhrmann.
“One of the most exquisite, painful, candid, brilliant pieces … that I have ever seen,” writes Christian author Phyllis Tickle.
The second edition contains expanded material.
185 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 5, 2014
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519 people want to read
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April 5, 2015
In light of controversy, Ken Wilson makes perfectly clear that he approaches this topic as a pastor of a specific local congregation: he is living in a church with vested relationships in families and couples, who are either LGBT or closely know someone who is. Nearly the whole first half of his book is him making this point, establishing the weight this issue carries for him and his congregation in Ann Arbor. At first glance this would seem grounds for bias in the development of his position, but what is assuring is how introspective and transparent he is in documenting his thoughts grappling over various developments in his experience as a pastor (with footnotes of references to boot). His earnest uncertainties only begin to reveal his years of contemplation and examination around this topic.
Ken Wilson's "Third Way" is predicated on three ideas:
1. The "prohibitive texts" are typically taken out of context, as something much different than what we are concerned about today with homosexuality. Wilson defines contemporary homosexual relationships as committed, monogamous same-sex relationships. He also makes a note that while heterosexual relationships are often held up as the "ideal" for committed relationships, Paul and even Jesus himself suggest that celibacy is the real ideal (if there were to be one named). This suggests that marriage is more for human expression of love than for God's workings ("It is not good that man should be alone..."), and some literature seems to show that children can be raised in same-sex committed environments with similar effectiveness as in heterosexual environments (one point I hesitate with).
2. Despite controversy, sexual orientation is a second-order doctrine, not a primary dogma essential to Christianity itself. With the Holy Spirit being alive and well today, different people in different contexts can be led to differing conclusions on what is God-honoring. This makes the issue viable as a "disputable matter," à la Romans 14-15, and thus something that is possible to agree to disagree on. And actually, beyond agreeing-to-disagree--as a secondary, context-sensitive issue--a diverse community living together is precisely what is required to examine a topic further such as same-sex attraction. This was his initial dissatisfaction with the two traditional postures of "Open and Affirming" versus "Love the Sinner, Hate The Sin," that they effectively settled the matter one way or another.
3. To testify to the power of the gospel, we should err on the side of inclusion rather than exclusion. Making categorical distinctions based on one particular "shortcoming" or "sin" is making a human judgement de facto over the weight of one sin over another. His personal revelation in this was how the church often makes accommodations for adults who have divorced and remarried, and at the Vineyard in Ann Arbor leadership is evaluated holistically on many dimensions. Is one specific dimension of personality--regardless of magnitude--capable of creating a categorical distinction of an individual? Such was the peril of Jew/Gentile, male/female, free/slave.
In some ways, the call of Jesus was simple: love God, love your neighbor as yourself. In other ways, this issue has much baggage that needs picking apart. In fact, for a while Ken Wilson had a policy that before speaking to him on the topic, a member of the congregation was required to first read this letter in completion. There is much to be considered for this topic, and I would highly recommend walking with him through his path that he has laboriously carved for us to survey.
Regardless of your stance, this book is well worth the read if not for the ends, then for the means by which Wilson travels to arrive at his conclusion. And if not for this issue, then some other moral issue decades from today.
"Jesus was a pastor. His word for it was 'shepherd.' (A pastor is really just a sheep dog working for the Great Shepherd.) As a good shepherd, Jesus had an eye out for the lost sheep. When we lose sight of that, I think we’ve lost sight of what it means to be a pastor, something we pastors do often.” (Ken Wilson, Chapter 7)
Ken Wilson's "Third Way" is predicated on three ideas:
1. The "prohibitive texts" are typically taken out of context, as something much different than what we are concerned about today with homosexuality. Wilson defines contemporary homosexual relationships as committed, monogamous same-sex relationships. He also makes a note that while heterosexual relationships are often held up as the "ideal" for committed relationships, Paul and even Jesus himself suggest that celibacy is the real ideal (if there were to be one named). This suggests that marriage is more for human expression of love than for God's workings ("It is not good that man should be alone..."), and some literature seems to show that children can be raised in same-sex committed environments with similar effectiveness as in heterosexual environments (one point I hesitate with).
2. Despite controversy, sexual orientation is a second-order doctrine, not a primary dogma essential to Christianity itself. With the Holy Spirit being alive and well today, different people in different contexts can be led to differing conclusions on what is God-honoring. This makes the issue viable as a "disputable matter," à la Romans 14-15, and thus something that is possible to agree to disagree on. And actually, beyond agreeing-to-disagree--as a secondary, context-sensitive issue--a diverse community living together is precisely what is required to examine a topic further such as same-sex attraction. This was his initial dissatisfaction with the two traditional postures of "Open and Affirming" versus "Love the Sinner, Hate The Sin," that they effectively settled the matter one way or another.
3. To testify to the power of the gospel, we should err on the side of inclusion rather than exclusion. Making categorical distinctions based on one particular "shortcoming" or "sin" is making a human judgement de facto over the weight of one sin over another. His personal revelation in this was how the church often makes accommodations for adults who have divorced and remarried, and at the Vineyard in Ann Arbor leadership is evaluated holistically on many dimensions. Is one specific dimension of personality--regardless of magnitude--capable of creating a categorical distinction of an individual? Such was the peril of Jew/Gentile, male/female, free/slave.
In some ways, the call of Jesus was simple: love God, love your neighbor as yourself. In other ways, this issue has much baggage that needs picking apart. In fact, for a while Ken Wilson had a policy that before speaking to him on the topic, a member of the congregation was required to first read this letter in completion. There is much to be considered for this topic, and I would highly recommend walking with him through his path that he has laboriously carved for us to survey.
Regardless of your stance, this book is well worth the read if not for the ends, then for the means by which Wilson travels to arrive at his conclusion. And if not for this issue, then some other moral issue decades from today.
April 21, 2014
Some of my friends might be surprised that I give this book 5-stars, because they know that I strongly disagree with most of Ken's conclusions. But as far as I understand it, the ratings are based on enjoyment of the book, not on agreement with the author's conclusions. I thoroughly *enjoyed* Ken's book, hence the 5-stars. (For the record, I thought "Lolita" by Nabokov is one of the most brilliant novels I've read. And not one I will be sharing with my daughters anytime soon.)
The book is a *beautiful* portrayal of the pastoral vocation and the pastor's conundrum. That delicate tension between justice and compassion, truth and grace, image and reflection, holiness and presence. Having worked as a pastor with Ken for 14 years, I know very well that how important it is to embrace both, not to resolve the tension by embracing one to the exclusion of the other. And I do believe that Ken is sincerely seeking to do just that.
I do think that every pastor who speaks about this issue ought to seek to know and love some gay couples and individuals in the way that Ken has. If knowing and caring for a group of people challenges our preconceptions and views toward them, that can't be a bad thing. And there are way too many people making pronouncements about things that they really have no first-hand experience with. The most moving passages in this book for me are the ones where Ken describes his conversations with gay people, or the parents of gay kids, and how he has wrestled with the implications of his answers to these tough questions. If there's one positive thing I think can come from this book, it's that we all affirm that the flippant or thoughtless responses to this dilemma that have plagued conservative Christianity are insufficient. What DO we say to a young person who feels *only* strong same-sex attraction (despite their own wishes), and does not feel they can possibly remain celibate? I am not here offering an answer to that question, but we should at least acknowledge that it's a fair question and not an easy one. And let's imagine that it is our own dear child who is the young person in question.
Where I disagree with Ken's conclusions are:
1) I do believe that the Bible is unequivocally negative in its assessment of any same-sex activity. In the same way that it is unequivocal in its proscription of incest or bestiality, which the Bible itself groups together (Leviticus 18 is all about the boundaries on sexual behavior). It is the activity itself that is prohibited, not simply what the activities are associated with. Jesus and Paul did not loosen the boundaries of what constitutes "acceptable" sexual activity. If anything, they restricted it further!
2) I don't believe that Paul would have considered the realm of sexual ethics a "disputable matter." To be honest, I can't find a single New Testament scholar who thinks he would, and I've looked! This seems to me completely incompatible with the rest of his writings (take 1 Corinthians for example). So while I do agree that "agree to disagree" is a great approach to take on some issues, I can't in any way imagine that St. Paul would be okay with applying it to this issue in the church.
3) I don't believe that what Ken offers in this book is truly a "third way" to approach the issue. I have read the book (and the papers that preceded it) thoroughly, and what I find is an "Open and Affirming" approach that seeks to "make room" for some in the congregation who would hold to a traditional view. In that sense it would allow congregants to "agree to disagree" on this issue. But it's not really a "third way" in the following sense: in every meaningful way that churches are "open and affirming," Ken's "third way" church would be identical. It would ordain non-celibate gay individuals to the highest positions, such as senior pastor or youth pastor, and pastors would be free to perform gay weddings. So how is that not Open and Affirming? And regarding the freedom of members of the church to hold opposite opinions on this matter, would that extend to leadership? For example, would another pastor in the church be free to preach a sermon which maintains the necessity of male-female complementarity in marriage? Will new pastors or board members be chosen who strongly hold to the conservative view on this issue, or will this effectively become a "litmus test" for new leaders? If pastors are free to perform gay weddings, would a board member of the church be free to lead and advertise a "Desert Stream" ministry which seeks to help people resist same-sex attraction? If the answer were "Yes" to those questions, then I might think this was actually a "third" way.
But as much as I disagree with Ken's theses, I'm glad that the book is here and for the discussion that it has brought, both for myself, for the Vineyard movement, for Evangelical Christianity, and for us all. I'm hoping that something better emerges from it all.
The book is a *beautiful* portrayal of the pastoral vocation and the pastor's conundrum. That delicate tension between justice and compassion, truth and grace, image and reflection, holiness and presence. Having worked as a pastor with Ken for 14 years, I know very well that how important it is to embrace both, not to resolve the tension by embracing one to the exclusion of the other. And I do believe that Ken is sincerely seeking to do just that.
I do think that every pastor who speaks about this issue ought to seek to know and love some gay couples and individuals in the way that Ken has. If knowing and caring for a group of people challenges our preconceptions and views toward them, that can't be a bad thing. And there are way too many people making pronouncements about things that they really have no first-hand experience with. The most moving passages in this book for me are the ones where Ken describes his conversations with gay people, or the parents of gay kids, and how he has wrestled with the implications of his answers to these tough questions. If there's one positive thing I think can come from this book, it's that we all affirm that the flippant or thoughtless responses to this dilemma that have plagued conservative Christianity are insufficient. What DO we say to a young person who feels *only* strong same-sex attraction (despite their own wishes), and does not feel they can possibly remain celibate? I am not here offering an answer to that question, but we should at least acknowledge that it's a fair question and not an easy one. And let's imagine that it is our own dear child who is the young person in question.
Where I disagree with Ken's conclusions are:
1) I do believe that the Bible is unequivocally negative in its assessment of any same-sex activity. In the same way that it is unequivocal in its proscription of incest or bestiality, which the Bible itself groups together (Leviticus 18 is all about the boundaries on sexual behavior). It is the activity itself that is prohibited, not simply what the activities are associated with. Jesus and Paul did not loosen the boundaries of what constitutes "acceptable" sexual activity. If anything, they restricted it further!
2) I don't believe that Paul would have considered the realm of sexual ethics a "disputable matter." To be honest, I can't find a single New Testament scholar who thinks he would, and I've looked! This seems to me completely incompatible with the rest of his writings (take 1 Corinthians for example). So while I do agree that "agree to disagree" is a great approach to take on some issues, I can't in any way imagine that St. Paul would be okay with applying it to this issue in the church.
3) I don't believe that what Ken offers in this book is truly a "third way" to approach the issue. I have read the book (and the papers that preceded it) thoroughly, and what I find is an "Open and Affirming" approach that seeks to "make room" for some in the congregation who would hold to a traditional view. In that sense it would allow congregants to "agree to disagree" on this issue. But it's not really a "third way" in the following sense: in every meaningful way that churches are "open and affirming," Ken's "third way" church would be identical. It would ordain non-celibate gay individuals to the highest positions, such as senior pastor or youth pastor, and pastors would be free to perform gay weddings. So how is that not Open and Affirming? And regarding the freedom of members of the church to hold opposite opinions on this matter, would that extend to leadership? For example, would another pastor in the church be free to preach a sermon which maintains the necessity of male-female complementarity in marriage? Will new pastors or board members be chosen who strongly hold to the conservative view on this issue, or will this effectively become a "litmus test" for new leaders? If pastors are free to perform gay weddings, would a board member of the church be free to lead and advertise a "Desert Stream" ministry which seeks to help people resist same-sex attraction? If the answer were "Yes" to those questions, then I might think this was actually a "third" way.
But as much as I disagree with Ken's theses, I'm glad that the book is here and for the discussion that it has brought, both for myself, for the Vineyard movement, for Evangelical Christianity, and for us all. I'm hoping that something better emerges from it all.
March 13, 2014
It's been more than a dozen years ago now that I learned that my brother was gay. That revelation led me to rethink long held views. What had been academic was now personal. Before long it also became a pastoral issue as I began to meet gay and lesbian folks who might be interested in the congregations I pastored. As a result I began to read and study and pray and talk with persons who could help guide me. I became a person who was open and affirming of my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. But, it wasn't easy because my background raised biblical and theological questions -- but then I'd dealt with such questions before. Women in ministry, evolution, etc.
With this background I'm interested in books and resources that speak to the pastoral side of questions such as this. And, I must add, I'm more interested in engaging with persons who come to an open position from within a more conservative perspective.
Ken Wilson's recent book A Letter to my Congregation is just such a book. Ken is an evangelical. He believes that the Bible is the Word of God. He's the pastor of a large Vineyard Church in Ann Arbor, MI. He has much to loose by coming forward and suggesting that the Spirit is leading him to fully embrace gay, lesbian, and transgender folks as children of God.
He writes a book that takes the form of a lengthy, detailed, letter to his congregation. He shares his journey, including the steps he takes to deal with the texts of Scripture such as Leviticus and Romans 1 that are used as support for exclusion. He engages leading scholars who take a conservative position on this issue -- including NT Wright and Richard Hays.
He concluded that he must take a new direction for two reasons. One is pastoral. He had begun to encounter gay and lesbian folks looking for a church. He met with parents concerned about children who were coming out. The second reason is missional. It became clear that while his church was doing as well or better than other churches in reaching younger adults, the church was aging. He pastors in a liberal university community. The vast majority of folks under 30 have embraced marriage equality. By taking a position of exclusion he wasn't just excluding LGBT folks, he was excluding those who took the side of these LGBT folks, many of whom were evangelical in their theology. So, he began a journey that led him to embrace inclusion.
In developing his view he chose to take a position between the traditional "love the sinner, hate the sin" and "open and affirming." Both of these positions assume the issue is settled. There's no room for differences of opinion. In taking a middle position of respect, acceptance, and welcome, he seeks to keep persons who aren't there yet together with those who believe LGBT folk should be fully welcomed.
While I'm personally open and affirming -- the issue for me is pretty settled -- I appreciate his choice. In fact it is the one I've chosen to take at this point with my own congregation. If we took a vote today, we'd go open and affirming by a wide majority, but in doing so we might shut down conversation that could lead to further openness among those who are currently closed. And in the long run, in a decade or so (perhaps sooner), this designation will be a relic of the past -- sort of like the Shalom Congregations of the 1980s that were declaring themselves nuclear free zones (that is they were making sure that the government didn't put a missile silo on their property).
I will be sharing more in a blog review, but let me say that this is a most helpful book. Take and read!!
With this background I'm interested in books and resources that speak to the pastoral side of questions such as this. And, I must add, I'm more interested in engaging with persons who come to an open position from within a more conservative perspective.
Ken Wilson's recent book A Letter to my Congregation is just such a book. Ken is an evangelical. He believes that the Bible is the Word of God. He's the pastor of a large Vineyard Church in Ann Arbor, MI. He has much to loose by coming forward and suggesting that the Spirit is leading him to fully embrace gay, lesbian, and transgender folks as children of God.
He writes a book that takes the form of a lengthy, detailed, letter to his congregation. He shares his journey, including the steps he takes to deal with the texts of Scripture such as Leviticus and Romans 1 that are used as support for exclusion. He engages leading scholars who take a conservative position on this issue -- including NT Wright and Richard Hays.
He concluded that he must take a new direction for two reasons. One is pastoral. He had begun to encounter gay and lesbian folks looking for a church. He met with parents concerned about children who were coming out. The second reason is missional. It became clear that while his church was doing as well or better than other churches in reaching younger adults, the church was aging. He pastors in a liberal university community. The vast majority of folks under 30 have embraced marriage equality. By taking a position of exclusion he wasn't just excluding LGBT folks, he was excluding those who took the side of these LGBT folks, many of whom were evangelical in their theology. So, he began a journey that led him to embrace inclusion.
In developing his view he chose to take a position between the traditional "love the sinner, hate the sin" and "open and affirming." Both of these positions assume the issue is settled. There's no room for differences of opinion. In taking a middle position of respect, acceptance, and welcome, he seeks to keep persons who aren't there yet together with those who believe LGBT folk should be fully welcomed.
While I'm personally open and affirming -- the issue for me is pretty settled -- I appreciate his choice. In fact it is the one I've chosen to take at this point with my own congregation. If we took a vote today, we'd go open and affirming by a wide majority, but in doing so we might shut down conversation that could lead to further openness among those who are currently closed. And in the long run, in a decade or so (perhaps sooner), this designation will be a relic of the past -- sort of like the Shalom Congregations of the 1980s that were declaring themselves nuclear free zones (that is they were making sure that the government didn't put a missile silo on their property).
I will be sharing more in a blog review, but let me say that this is a most helpful book. Take and read!!
July 20, 2016
Ken Wilson changed his views on same-sex relationships and this book is a letter to his congregation explaining how he came to that understanding. Though he spends time discussing the relevant scripture passages, as well as the flow of scripture, he also writes as a pastor with grace for both those who agree and disagree with him. In other words, this book is no academic treatise, though such things are important, but instead is a personal confession. Of the books I have read on same-sex relationships, I found this one the most compelling and helpful.
July 24, 2015
I appreciated Wilson's desire to pastorally care for people and not push folks away...however in his attempt to do that he mishandles Scripture. His desire to find a "third way" in the whole homosexual debate leads him ultimately to the way of acceptance of homosexual behavior and it truly isn't a third way at all. He does not fully examine Scriptures (at least not recorded in this book) and he seems guided more by experience and a desire to be "pastoral" than he does by a desire to be biblically faithful.
January 14, 2023
Wow, hands down the best book I have read on the subject.
I loved this book because of the prose and the author’s ability to bring the reader into his wrestling match with this hot button issue. The humility and raw feelings he displays is really cool to see.
I read a book last year by Sam Allberry discussing the same topic and found his book to be tired, poor critical textual analysis with research that was weak and scarce but with conclusions that had very rigid, hurtful connotations. In contrast, Ken Wilson takes the reader on his incredibly well-researched and deeply thought through convictions and provides historical context necessary for good analysis. Ken did his homework while also creating a space for disagreement and dialogue.
A main point of his is that it’s okay and even imperative to leave room for wrestling, disagreement, and different conclusions. This is how we heal the sharp divide between opposing groups and find healing.
And embracing.
I loved this book because of the prose and the author’s ability to bring the reader into his wrestling match with this hot button issue. The humility and raw feelings he displays is really cool to see.
I read a book last year by Sam Allberry discussing the same topic and found his book to be tired, poor critical textual analysis with research that was weak and scarce but with conclusions that had very rigid, hurtful connotations. In contrast, Ken Wilson takes the reader on his incredibly well-researched and deeply thought through convictions and provides historical context necessary for good analysis. Ken did his homework while also creating a space for disagreement and dialogue.
A main point of his is that it’s okay and even imperative to leave room for wrestling, disagreement, and different conclusions. This is how we heal the sharp divide between opposing groups and find healing.
And embracing.
March 25, 2018
I have been troubled by the way Evangelical Christians have been approaching the LGBTQ debate. I've read the Bible cover to cover many times, so I know the several verses that address this. I believe the Bible is authoritative, but I also try to have a lot of humility around the correctness of my interpretations. I thought I knew where I stood on this issue, but over the last decade, I've become increasingly ill-at-ease with the way Christians have elevated this issue as the sin above all sins. Our treatment of the LGBTQ community and particularly fellow believers who identify as LGBTQ has been decidedly unChristlike. Yet at the same time, I don't want to compromise what I believe to be Biblical principles because they're unpopular in society as a whole. What's at the root of my unease? Is it the Holy Spirit prompting me to reexamine my interpretations? Or is it a desire to fit into the current cultural norms? I've been doing a lot of praying and a lot of research to try to figure that out.
This book helped me enormously in several ways. First, Wilson lays out in detail one of my big questions. The Bible is just as emphatic and clear, if not more so, about remarriage after divorce. Yet almost all churches have found a way to make room for grace in this situation. We don't require people to leave their later marriages in order to be accepted. We even accept remarried divorcees in leadership and pastoral positions. I think this is absolutely the right thing to do. So, my question has been, why do we treat LGBTQ people differently? Wilson shares this question and makes a very strong case that these situations are analogous.
Second, are the interpretations of these verses that I've accepted for all these years even correct? I'm still not sure about the answer to this one, but Wilson makes a convincing case that the Bible may have been talking about different types of behavior than the monogamous same-sex relationships that exist in our current culture when it makes its prohibitions.
Third, who gets to judge whether someone is really a Christian? Only God knows the heart. There are lots of Christians (myself included) who have persistent sins, but I'm still convinced that they're Christians because of the fruit of the Holy Spirit in their lives. Assuming homosexual behavior is a sin (which I'm still not fully convinced of one way or another), I think the same rule of thumb should apply. Is Christ evident in their lives because of the fruit they bear? If He is, then who am I to say that they are not welcome in the community? Just as Peter recognized God's salvation of the Gentiles because of the evidence of the Holy Spirit, so too do we need to look for that evidence as well. This argument from Wilson was really persuasive to me.
Finally, I think the strongest chapter in the book is Chapter 4 where Wilson argues that we should treat this as a disputable matter - one we can disagree on as Christians, but over which we should not divide. I think this chapter has relevance well beyond this particular question, and should be a guiding principle for the church on lots of controversial topics.
This book has really helped me develop a theological framework around this issue that I can feel much more comfortable with. If you have been feeling any cognitive dissonance or general unease about the church around this issue, I strongly recommend that you read this book. It's a quick read, and worth every page.
This book helped me enormously in several ways. First, Wilson lays out in detail one of my big questions. The Bible is just as emphatic and clear, if not more so, about remarriage after divorce. Yet almost all churches have found a way to make room for grace in this situation. We don't require people to leave their later marriages in order to be accepted. We even accept remarried divorcees in leadership and pastoral positions. I think this is absolutely the right thing to do. So, my question has been, why do we treat LGBTQ people differently? Wilson shares this question and makes a very strong case that these situations are analogous.
Second, are the interpretations of these verses that I've accepted for all these years even correct? I'm still not sure about the answer to this one, but Wilson makes a convincing case that the Bible may have been talking about different types of behavior than the monogamous same-sex relationships that exist in our current culture when it makes its prohibitions.
Third, who gets to judge whether someone is really a Christian? Only God knows the heart. There are lots of Christians (myself included) who have persistent sins, but I'm still convinced that they're Christians because of the fruit of the Holy Spirit in their lives. Assuming homosexual behavior is a sin (which I'm still not fully convinced of one way or another), I think the same rule of thumb should apply. Is Christ evident in their lives because of the fruit they bear? If He is, then who am I to say that they are not welcome in the community? Just as Peter recognized God's salvation of the Gentiles because of the evidence of the Holy Spirit, so too do we need to look for that evidence as well. This argument from Wilson was really persuasive to me.
Finally, I think the strongest chapter in the book is Chapter 4 where Wilson argues that we should treat this as a disputable matter - one we can disagree on as Christians, but over which we should not divide. I think this chapter has relevance well beyond this particular question, and should be a guiding principle for the church on lots of controversial topics.
This book has really helped me develop a theological framework around this issue that I can feel much more comfortable with. If you have been feeling any cognitive dissonance or general unease about the church around this issue, I strongly recommend that you read this book. It's a quick read, and worth every page.
March 8, 2014
Vineyard Church (Ann Arbor, MI) pastor Ken Wilson reconsiders his evangelical church posture toward LGBT community in lenghty, book-length reflection. Wilson wrestles with how to strike a "third way", one that does not pledge full allegiance to either "love the sinner, hate the sin" (which means exclusion) and "open and affirming" (this is, "inclusion", without total sanction and approval). Wilson, in each chapter, wrestles both with scriptural admonitions and the Holy Spirit. Though he is honest in affirming that aversion to "open and affirming" is based in large part the fear of being branded a "heretic" by evangelical cohorts.
Wilson addresses the biblical clobber passages fairly well, and attempts to bring to light the nuances of biblical culture and language that's either glossed over or totally ignored by traditionalists on this matter. He's not a biblical scholar but he cites the takes of various qualified scholars. Still, I thought the treatment was a tad incomplete, though a more comprehensive study would have bloated this, and transformed into something different than *A Letter to My Congregation*. Again, his approach is more aligned in arguing for a "third way", to treat this matter as a "disputable", not as a schism triggering agent, as seems to be in so many churches. I believe it a commendable act, and one likely to inflict derision from both sides, as what typically and tragically besets peacemakers in their quest.
A bit of the chapter content is redundant. And Wilson omits, or is just unaware, historical themes and truth that would buttress his "third way" case. Particularly, the whole Victorian model of marriage more representative of cultural mores of those peering in than actually reflected in the ancient texts. He touches upon this very briefly, but a stronger emphasis should be made about the patriarchial, misogynistic nature of not only ancient cultures, but of most of church history. That the sands of what constitutes *marriage* are shocking to modern sensibilities, including traditionalists who zero in on a narrow romanticized slice of history as a model for "the ages" to revere. Also, was disappointed not to see more pushback on biblical sexual ethics, from the work of bible scholars like Walter Wink and/or others.
But, on the whole, this a worthy, heartfelt account of Wilson wrestling with this issue and wanting to be true to the way of Jesus.
Wilson addresses the biblical clobber passages fairly well, and attempts to bring to light the nuances of biblical culture and language that's either glossed over or totally ignored by traditionalists on this matter. He's not a biblical scholar but he cites the takes of various qualified scholars. Still, I thought the treatment was a tad incomplete, though a more comprehensive study would have bloated this, and transformed into something different than *A Letter to My Congregation*. Again, his approach is more aligned in arguing for a "third way", to treat this matter as a "disputable", not as a schism triggering agent, as seems to be in so many churches. I believe it a commendable act, and one likely to inflict derision from both sides, as what typically and tragically besets peacemakers in their quest.
A bit of the chapter content is redundant. And Wilson omits, or is just unaware, historical themes and truth that would buttress his "third way" case. Particularly, the whole Victorian model of marriage more representative of cultural mores of those peering in than actually reflected in the ancient texts. He touches upon this very briefly, but a stronger emphasis should be made about the patriarchial, misogynistic nature of not only ancient cultures, but of most of church history. That the sands of what constitutes *marriage* are shocking to modern sensibilities, including traditionalists who zero in on a narrow romanticized slice of history as a model for "the ages" to revere. Also, was disappointed not to see more pushback on biblical sexual ethics, from the work of bible scholars like Walter Wink and/or others.
But, on the whole, this a worthy, heartfelt account of Wilson wrestling with this issue and wanting to be true to the way of Jesus.
October 25, 2021
I've read quite a few books on this subject over the past several years, but this one ... this is the one that spoke to me the most. Ken Wilson begins as a pastor - a pastor in a context where certain things were expected of him in relation to people who are LGBTQ. It's one thing to understand these things in an academic or organizational context; it's another thing altogether to sit across the table from someone genuinely seeking to follow God and exclude them based on this orientation. Ken's book is about belonging and including, using Jesus as his guide. He does take time to look at the specific passages that have guided our theology on same-sex matters, and he comes to conclusions that you might not agree with. A very interesting thread is a look at the church's stance on divorce and remarriage, which at one time seemed written in stone like the scriptures we read and interpret about same-sex relationships. Finally, I would say that the spirit of this book matters. I would encourage any Christian to read it. It is important that we are ready to welcome people where they are, into a place of community, where we ourselves are welcomed, imperfect as we are. As a side note: this was written before the Marriage Equality Act, so some of the stories relate to couples who could not legally marry. It is my understanding that since the writing of this book, Ken Wilson was kicked out of the Vineyard church movement because of his stance.
August 1, 2023
I have read quite a few books on the topic of hbtq+ from the perspective of Christian theology. Coming from an evangelical background myself I have mostly focused my reading with those spectacles on. I think Kan Wilson brings something new to the table here. He is well read and knowledgable in the theological discussion, but to my mind, that does not seem to be the road to take in this question. I am at least not terribly impressed by the theology of either of the sides in the debate (I am also a little disturbed that the question is pit as a yes or no question. I understand why because of the question of marriage of course, but anyway). Wilson argues from the perspective and experience of a pastor and he does so not simply with warmth and care, but also with discernment. A book well worth to read.
June 14, 2017
Ken Wilson takes a different approach than many of the other Biblical commentaries on the topic of LGBTQ inclusion in the Christian church. He looks at the pastoral issues that arose for him throughout his pastoral ministry and the theological study that resulted. Because of his different starting point, he looks at some Biblical topics that others overlook when addressing this topic (such as remarriage after divorce) as a way to look at how the church handles difficult life situations that aren't directly addressed in the Bible.
January 24, 2015
If the title/subtitle intrigues you, you'd probably appreciate this book. This pastor has paid a high price within his denomination for the path he's taken, but he hasn't done it lightly. This is his description of how he came to embrace the LGBT community. He covers his experience as a pastor, his intense study of Scripture and its context, and his own spiritual journey - all of which led him to that decision. Two things from the book that will inform my own thoughts and actions moving forward:
1) He comes back to the idea over and over that this issue is perhaps way more important to us in the American church than it is to God. Why, for instance, are we so obsessed over the supposed moral failure of someone who self-identifies as gay but not that concerned about all of the people serving in churches who are clearly greedy (living in homes much larger than needed, buying more clothes than needed, driving vehicles that suck up more gas than needed...all while half of the world literally starves). Might not THAT be more important to God? Yet we don't forbid the greedy from attending our churches or serving on our committees. Why not?
2) Building on the idea that this issue is perhaps more important to us than it is to God, Wilson lays out a strong case for the LGBT issue to be categorized as a "disputable issue" for Christians. This term comes from study of Romans 14-15, where the apostle Paul advises the early church to agree to disagree on certain issues without breaking the unity of the church. Wilson describes how important and divisive the issue being discussed in Romans was to the early church, lest we think it as not really being that big of a deal compared to the LGBT controversy. And, yet, over and above the disagreement, Paul commands the church to be different from the outside world, which classifies people as "in" or "out" based on whether one thinks the same way as the "in" folks. The only dogma (non-negotiable) in the church is "Jesus Christ: his living, dying, rising, ascending, coming again." We can and do have many opposing opinions, beliefs, doctrines, etc. without them tearing the whole Church apart. It's possible for us to classify this in that way as well.
Wilson obviously covers much more territory in the book. If you're curiosity is piqued, check it out.
1) He comes back to the idea over and over that this issue is perhaps way more important to us in the American church than it is to God. Why, for instance, are we so obsessed over the supposed moral failure of someone who self-identifies as gay but not that concerned about all of the people serving in churches who are clearly greedy (living in homes much larger than needed, buying more clothes than needed, driving vehicles that suck up more gas than needed...all while half of the world literally starves). Might not THAT be more important to God? Yet we don't forbid the greedy from attending our churches or serving on our committees. Why not?
2) Building on the idea that this issue is perhaps more important to us than it is to God, Wilson lays out a strong case for the LGBT issue to be categorized as a "disputable issue" for Christians. This term comes from study of Romans 14-15, where the apostle Paul advises the early church to agree to disagree on certain issues without breaking the unity of the church. Wilson describes how important and divisive the issue being discussed in Romans was to the early church, lest we think it as not really being that big of a deal compared to the LGBT controversy. And, yet, over and above the disagreement, Paul commands the church to be different from the outside world, which classifies people as "in" or "out" based on whether one thinks the same way as the "in" folks. The only dogma (non-negotiable) in the church is "Jesus Christ: his living, dying, rising, ascending, coming again." We can and do have many opposing opinions, beliefs, doctrines, etc. without them tearing the whole Church apart. It's possible for us to classify this in that way as well.
Wilson obviously covers much more territory in the book. If you're curiosity is piqued, check it out.
December 21, 2020
I read this book with a small group to help us in our conversation around sexual ethics. Its very biographical and chronicles a Vineyard pastor's transitioning from a traditional perspective on LGBTQ ethics to an affirming one.
He understands the conservative mind well, and he addresses questions that evangelical persons would ask, including questions about spiritual warfare (38, 46, 91). I found it to be a stimulating read and helpful for conversation in my conservative circles, even if its a deeply American perspective and not addressing majority world Christianity. I don't think those on North American university campuses would find it helpful, as most progressives on the matter would find it doesn't go far enough or deal with their interests. For example, polyamory and transgendered identities are not really addressed. Related, I'm not sure why he would insist on marriage being between two people, rather than three or more.
He endorses a "third way" approach that is worth investigating further, and it comes in a series of statements like "A third way challenges liberals to refrain from holding conservatives in contempt or mild condescension, as the case may be." Its about the gospel, accepting others, and not setting oneself up as the one who grants or withholds moral approval. He advocates Ignatian discernment in particular cases, and ends that chapter by saying we can "all hold to our own convictions without our belonging being threatened" (132). Its a deeply ambiguous way to deal with the issue, but its creative and may be possible for some congregations. This reminds me of the notion of "pluralistic congregations" in the book _Deconstructing Church_ by Gerardo Marti and Gladys Ganiel.
It is interesting that his mind changed through experience, and then he went back to the Bible to re-arrange his hermeneutics (96f). This may be a common pattern, and it begs the question of the relationship between experience and Scripture, general revelation and special revelation. That his context is the professional world of Ann Arbor, Michigan, reminds us of the influence of social context on our theological commitments.
I appreciate his efforts in this book, and its easily read by non-specialists in theology.
He understands the conservative mind well, and he addresses questions that evangelical persons would ask, including questions about spiritual warfare (38, 46, 91). I found it to be a stimulating read and helpful for conversation in my conservative circles, even if its a deeply American perspective and not addressing majority world Christianity. I don't think those on North American university campuses would find it helpful, as most progressives on the matter would find it doesn't go far enough or deal with their interests. For example, polyamory and transgendered identities are not really addressed. Related, I'm not sure why he would insist on marriage being between two people, rather than three or more.
He endorses a "third way" approach that is worth investigating further, and it comes in a series of statements like "A third way challenges liberals to refrain from holding conservatives in contempt or mild condescension, as the case may be." Its about the gospel, accepting others, and not setting oneself up as the one who grants or withholds moral approval. He advocates Ignatian discernment in particular cases, and ends that chapter by saying we can "all hold to our own convictions without our belonging being threatened" (132). Its a deeply ambiguous way to deal with the issue, but its creative and may be possible for some congregations. This reminds me of the notion of "pluralistic congregations" in the book _Deconstructing Church_ by Gerardo Marti and Gladys Ganiel.
It is interesting that his mind changed through experience, and then he went back to the Bible to re-arrange his hermeneutics (96f). This may be a common pattern, and it begs the question of the relationship between experience and Scripture, general revelation and special revelation. That his context is the professional world of Ann Arbor, Michigan, reminds us of the influence of social context on our theological commitments.
I appreciate his efforts in this book, and its easily read by non-specialists in theology.
February 14, 2014
Say goodbye to the simplicity of the debate - Ken Wilson's expanded letter to his congregation walks the reader through the conflict and tension that is unique to pastors, and those holding to a missional conviction for more radical expressions of neighborly love. Wilson also advocates for a unique 'third way' approach as he shares his journey. I think most readers will enjoy wrestling with the idea (I sure do!). The language, perspective, and emotion behind this book make it one of the best I've ever read on the subject. That said, I didn't find myself agreeing with every conclusion but ultimately found God working on my heart through this book. Good enough for me. : )
February 9, 2014
I picked this up to read an evangelical's perspective on a complex topic but was drawn in by the journey the author took to end up at his conclusions. He does not gloss over the Bible or Christian tradition but embraces it and combines it with broad research and his own experience. In an issue where so many have such deep set opinions, he is able to keep an open mind as he searches for the solution that best serves his congregation and community. If more leaders approached issues in this way, we'd all be better off.
August 26, 2014
I LOVED this book, and can't wait to read it again. It is a MUST READ for any evangelical Christian who wants to welcome the LGBT community to the Kingdom of God. Whatever you believe the Bible says about homosexuality, this book is a powerful call to all believers to UNITY as a Body of Christ.
March 30, 2015
One of the best books I've read on the topic of LGTB inclusion within the church ...and I've read my share. Highly recommended to anyone, no matter what 'side' of the debate you stand on, about entering into a third way.
April 18, 2015
I am deeply encouraged to find fellow evangelicals wrestling so openly about this painfully divisive issue. I didn't find this book especially well written, but it is candid and, more than anything else, pastoral.
September 18, 2015
An excellent book for discussion.
January 12, 2017
An excellent, pastorally sensitive treatment of a difficult topic. Wilson seeks to break down the pervasive false dichotomy among evangelicals that equates conservatism with faithfulness and liberalism with unfaithfulness, describing his own journey, and how his love for the word and his desire to love God and neighbor well led him to change his position. While I may not agree with his conclusions, I resonated with many of Wilson's pastoral concerns about the traditional view, as well as his concerns about the exclusivity of the affirming view. Taking Paul's writing in Romans 14-15 as his model, Wilson proposes an intriguing "Third Way" that would allow both affirming and traditionalist Christians to share the same table, with each respecting the liberty of the other's conscience.
While I have both practical and theological concerns with his approach, I appreciate his effort to recognize the complexity of this topic and the humanity of the people it affects, the thoroughness of his research, and his pastoral tone. Worth a prayerful read with an open Bible at hand by anyone wrestling with this matter.
While I have both practical and theological concerns with his approach, I appreciate his effort to recognize the complexity of this topic and the humanity of the people it affects, the thoroughness of his research, and his pastoral tone. Worth a prayerful read with an open Bible at hand by anyone wrestling with this matter.
August 13, 2018
This is a good book.
If you are looking for an evangelical argument to adequately rebut the various “clobber passages”, I would direct you elsewhere. There are a lot of scholarly level books on these topics, and Wilson doesn’t even really attempt to delve too deeply into these issues. But he goes just deep enough to raise some of the relevant questions that the “traditional” perspective has difficulty conclusively answering.
The real strength of this book is the pastoral care and compassion with which it was written. It’s easy to debate back and forth about the various intellectual and theological components of a particular argument. It’s another to look a person in the face and explain to them the devastating consequences that a particular interpretation of a passage has on their real life situation.
Some have criticized this as eisegesis (and maybe they are right), but there are solid exegetical reasons for disagreement on this topic. Injecting pastoral compassion and empathy into this discussion will do no harm to anyone. I recommend it.
If you are looking for an evangelical argument to adequately rebut the various “clobber passages”, I would direct you elsewhere. There are a lot of scholarly level books on these topics, and Wilson doesn’t even really attempt to delve too deeply into these issues. But he goes just deep enough to raise some of the relevant questions that the “traditional” perspective has difficulty conclusively answering.
The real strength of this book is the pastoral care and compassion with which it was written. It’s easy to debate back and forth about the various intellectual and theological components of a particular argument. It’s another to look a person in the face and explain to them the devastating consequences that a particular interpretation of a passage has on their real life situation.
Some have criticized this as eisegesis (and maybe they are right), but there are solid exegetical reasons for disagreement on this topic. Injecting pastoral compassion and empathy into this discussion will do no harm to anyone. I recommend it.
November 12, 2019
There are many books around that attempt to shed light to either side of the hotly debated topic of sexuality within the church. However, it was so refreshing to read a book that actually tackled the theology, AND the pastoral application of inclusion for churches and church leaders today. Ken Wilson holds nothing back and leaves no stone unturned as he implores the church to leave behind their exclusionary practices, REGARDLESS of their interpretation of scripture and tradition. Brilliantly, sensitively and bravely written, I have upmost admiration for Ken and the way he has spoken out in an environment that has lead to criticism, hatred, and even expulsion for sharing his opinion and theology. I believe as followers of Jesus, it is not our duty to judge one another, or to place stumbling blocks in one another's way (Romans 14:13), but to constantly weigh up the bible, society, and the narrative of Jesus to shape the way that we share this good news that we carry with the world that we live in.
December 29, 2021
Starting out searching as an evangelical Christian uncomfortable with traditional beliefs on this topic (but knowing nothing else, sticking to them), I was delighted to find a well presented argument for the acceptance of the LGBTQ community into our churches without reservation. I've read books on the other side. Most notably by a gay man who, after recieving Jesus, became celibate. That is something I totally respect, but now, my mind is changed. This is partly because my independent, evangelical church was willing to openly discuss this issue. Over 4 weeks we went over the two views. We were told that some elders were traditional and some 'affirming'. I now know from chatting to people that this extends to the whole congregation. The discussion has ended with a change to church policy that isn't perfect for those affirming, but a huge leap forward. I would recommend this book to everyone from traditionalists who really need to at least understand the other point of view and to those who are, like me, wanting to search and see.
October 5, 2023
I’ve honestly never had such a radical disagreement – at so many levels – with something written by an author I’ve loved and learned from over several years. I’ve wrestled with Ken’s story and practice (in terms of what he wrote about that) in ALTMC here, and I’ve also engaged firmly with his treatment of the biblical texts in my second review. This all flows from my first thoughts, which represented deeper general criticisms. I don’t want to repeat that in my conclusion here. I want to firmly underline that I do not think Ken is providing us with a third way. I think he is, unfortunately, being disingenuous about some important stuff, and also warping the wider debate with a call for a ‘third way’ in this book, and his far more affirming articles and interviews (linked in previous reviews). Whilst I think ALTMC is a powerful and readable book, I do not think it is ultimately helpful or ‘true’, and cannot recommend it.
https://www.thomascreedy.co.uk/book-r...
https://www.thomascreedy.co.uk/book-r...
September 13, 2021
Read more in August, finished September. This was an engaging read. While some of his thoughts circled, there were some minor grammar mistakes, and I didn’t agree with some minor points, his overall message of focussing on love, acceptance, and shepherding people rather than excluding them came through and encouraged me on my journey. It is clear there was a lot of discernment and thought that went into this letter and I appreciated his writing and the wisdom he had to share. I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in hearing from someone with lots of experience and research and who describes his journey and the evolution of his thoughts as he grew and formulated his opinions.
Edit: after reading some reviews I do want to add that he doesn’t specifically address transgender lives and stories, but that he focusses more on marriage and sexuality than gender, so if you’re interested in hearing about that it’s not mentioned as much as I thought it would be in this book.
Edit: after reading some reviews I do want to add that he doesn’t specifically address transgender lives and stories, but that he focusses more on marriage and sexuality than gender, so if you’re interested in hearing about that it’s not mentioned as much as I thought it would be in this book.
January 31, 2023
I needed to read a book like this. For many years, I have been working through what feels like the same journey that the author portrays in this scholarly letter. The difference is the amount of energy and study that he has devoted to it and the number of people who have crossed his path to influence his thinking and discernment. I appreciate that this book is written from a pastoral perspective with PEOPLE in mind, not tradition. The author is willing to be wrong and willing to ask hard questions. It takes a highly respectful and in-depth look at Scripture. It appeals to the heart of love that is found in the Gospel and fleshes out what it looks like to live that out in this case. I hope you will take the time to explore this valuable resource if you've ever wondered about the "gay issue" and what the implications of full inclusion for our friends in the LGBTQ2S+ community might be.
December 20, 2021
After finishing "Burdens," by Rivera, I wanted to start a new book to explore my questions about how to navigate passages of Scripture that appear to condemn same-sex relationships.
I chose this one because it was from an evangelical pastor.
Sigh. I wanted to like this book, but I pushed myself to get through it.
Wilson's analysis of Scripture was helpful, but he rambled. To be fair, he wrote this as a letter to his church, a church that knows him. Perhaps if someone I knew was rambling and explaining themselves, I would be more tolerant, but I found myself "not listening" or getting impatient through these parts of his book.
So read it if you want to see that analysis, which expanded in some ways expanded ideas in the book I had just finished and in other ways developed new lines of argument.
For that, I appreciate his work.
I just didn't enjoy reading it.
I chose this one because it was from an evangelical pastor.
Sigh. I wanted to like this book, but I pushed myself to get through it.
Wilson's analysis of Scripture was helpful, but he rambled. To be fair, he wrote this as a letter to his church, a church that knows him. Perhaps if someone I knew was rambling and explaining themselves, I would be more tolerant, but I found myself "not listening" or getting impatient through these parts of his book.
So read it if you want to see that analysis, which expanded in some ways expanded ideas in the book I had just finished and in other ways developed new lines of argument.
For that, I appreciate his work.
I just didn't enjoy reading it.
June 13, 2025
I guess this really is meant to be a letter and not a book. I appreciate his work and stance, and I agree that we shouldn't judge other people and should discern on a case-by-case basis, but it seems to be a bit disorganized and repetitive at times. I was hoping for more in-depth analyses and for him to dive deeper into scripture. This seems more like an explanation for why he personally stands where he stands, which he acknowledges in the afterword. In addition to acknowledging that he may be wrong, he also says that he doesn't have the credentials compared to others to make points that would "convince" others of anything. Overall, not a bad "book," but it does leave me wishing there was more to it. It doesn't feel like a "strong" book on its own. I still appreciate Wilson for sharing his story and journey regarding this issue though.
September 25, 2022
This book got me to think through these issues in ways that I hadn't considered before. I still probably don't land at the same conclusions as Wilson, but he writes with a high regard for Scripture, a love for Jesus, and a pastor's heart that I find very compelling.
I was intrigued by the way he tried to apply Paul's words about the "strong" and "weak" in Romans 14:1-12 to this discussion. However, I wish he had also addressed 14:13-15:6 where he says that the strong have an obligation to bear the weaknesses of those without strength. This seems to be an important point that the book skips over.
In any case, I think this book would be helpful to anyone who feels themselves torn between what they think the Bible says and the desire to be united with other Christians who disagree.
I was intrigued by the way he tried to apply Paul's words about the "strong" and "weak" in Romans 14:1-12 to this discussion. However, I wish he had also addressed 14:13-15:6 where he says that the strong have an obligation to bear the weaknesses of those without strength. This seems to be an important point that the book skips over.
In any case, I think this book would be helpful to anyone who feels themselves torn between what they think the Bible says and the desire to be united with other Christians who disagree.
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February 4, 2021Ken Wilson shares his journey as an Evangelical pastor through the minefields of dogma and doctrine surrounding the LGBTQ issue of exclusion or inclusion in the church he was pastoring. His heart and his humanity saw past the traditional positions and led him on a difficult but rewarding journey to come to the position he now stands in for embracing the LGBTQ community as full members of his church. This gripping letter to his congregation is one that anyone wishing to become a pastor or priest should read before taking their own position. It is also helpful for congregants, family, and friends of this community, to find answers to the questions they may grapple with.
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