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With All Due Respect: 40 Days to a More Fulfilling Relationship with Your Teens and Tweens
With All Due Respect is a handbook for parents navigating the difficulties of the tween and teen years. Roesner and Hitchcock help parents identify what successful relationships look like and give easy-to-follow lessons in enforcing rules, communicating lovingly, resetting relationships, overcoming fears and exhaustion, and handling rebellion. Each day features a story every mom can relate to, down-to-earth questions to think about, and a prayer to launch an action plan. As a result, the reader gains new skills and perspective, greater strength, and an ability to live out faith daily as never before. With All Due Respect is for all parents seeking not only to connect more deeply with and positively impact their teens and tweens, but also to grow more deeply in faith through the process.
- GenresParenting
249 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 2, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
October 27, 2016
What I Loved: I haven't read many...or any parenting books. I was drawn to pick up With All Due Respect because I find myself with a twelve-year-old. From the moment I looked into this one, their approach really stood out to me. I loved how they didn't tell you how to manipulate your child with a bunch of do's and don't's but they took the time to look at the parenting foundation. The book is centered more around the idea of what you can change about yourself and how you relate to others, namely your teen.
Each section is divided up as a dare and it focuses on behavioral issues...of the parent. I love how they dig below the surface into why we may act the way we do by examining our relationship with God and our own childhood.
After some explanation or a short "family moment" (which reads like a mini story with teen drama and mommy meltdowns) the section explains how the parent could focus on certain areas of their own life and in turn improve situations with their teen. They offer up a number of dares that are simple, thoughtful, and applicable. The section then ends with a prayer.
Everything I found here directed the parent's heart back to Christ. I was greatly impressed and would highly recommend it.
Quote: "But often we forget about setting expectations for ourselves as parents. We nag, demand, and impose rules on our children, hoping to see change, only to find ourselves caught up in the same cycle of disappointment and fear that our dreams for our kids will never materialize. What we sometimes forget - or perhaps haven't yet realized is that we can break out of that cycle if we are willing to let go of our expectations for our kids and instead choose to set new expectations for ourselves."
Rating: I'm giving With All Due Respect 5 stars.
~I received a copy from Book Look Bloggers. I was not compensated for this review or required to give a favorable one. All thoughts are my own.
Each section is divided up as a dare and it focuses on behavioral issues...of the parent. I love how they dig below the surface into why we may act the way we do by examining our relationship with God and our own childhood.
After some explanation or a short "family moment" (which reads like a mini story with teen drama and mommy meltdowns) the section explains how the parent could focus on certain areas of their own life and in turn improve situations with their teen. They offer up a number of dares that are simple, thoughtful, and applicable. The section then ends with a prayer.
Everything I found here directed the parent's heart back to Christ. I was greatly impressed and would highly recommend it.
Quote: "But often we forget about setting expectations for ourselves as parents. We nag, demand, and impose rules on our children, hoping to see change, only to find ourselves caught up in the same cycle of disappointment and fear that our dreams for our kids will never materialize. What we sometimes forget - or perhaps haven't yet realized is that we can break out of that cycle if we are willing to let go of our expectations for our kids and instead choose to set new expectations for ourselves."
Rating: I'm giving With All Due Respect 5 stars.
~I received a copy from Book Look Bloggers. I was not compensated for this review or required to give a favorable one. All thoughts are my own.
August 31, 2016
[Note: This book was provided free of charge by BookLook/Thomas Nelson Publishers in exchange for an honest review.]
If you have watched the movie Fireproof [1] or read the book that inspired it, The Respect Dare, you likely have at least some grasp of what this book is attempting to accomplish. The authors (one of whom wrote The Respect Dare) are seeking to provide the same sort of 40-day devotional account, taking a little more than 200 pages, to encourage mothers in treating their tween and teen children with respect as a way of overcoming the generational gaps that often exist within families. If the Respect Dare was about the need for wives to respect and honor their husbands, this book is about honoring children who are growing into adulthood and facing the difficulties of learning how to live with the responsibilities that adulthood entails. It should be noted that like many of the books in my reading collection dealing with interpersonal difficulties [2], this book is written by women for women and largely about mothers and not fathers, as the authors of this book work under the assumption that women are more empathetic and more interested in personal communication. Although I have no children myself, and so this book is not necessarily immediately practical, the advice this book gives on treating others with respect is generally applicable to any sort of uneven power relationship where it is tempting on one side to withhold respect to those considered as lesser or subordinate beings under one's authority. Clearly, the material in this book are of interest to men even if few are intended or likely to read it.
Within the 40 dares for mothers of children between about 10 and 17, there are a lot of serious issues dealt with. The book begins with an assessment for the mother to take about how well she does in various aspects of parenting that the rest of the dares deal with as well: being a disciple of Jesus Christ, being a discipler that helps others to follow Him, being a good communicator, being a confident and assured parent, and being a skilled family relationship architect. Clearly a lot of women (to say nothing of men) could stand to improve in such matters, and this book minces no words, addressing parents struggling with gossip about their children, about the interpersonal conflicts within their families (including the threat of divorce), and wrestling with the sins of their children like pornography, promiscuity, materialism (including theft), and other related sins. Over and over again the authors urge a consistent approach to dealing with older children that respects their growing autonomy, encourages them to deal with the consequences of their actions, provides support and encouragement for their success, listens to their concerns, and asks questions rather than providing angry lectures. Over and over again, the authors demonstrate through various setups and examples mothers learning how to behave with respect and learning how to communicate that respect to the rest of their family, and controlling their own tempers so that they do not respond to the challenges of their children with anger and contempt.
There is a deep irony embedded within this title. The words that follow "with all due respect" in conversation usually involve a great deal of disrespect, as we will seldom respect others if our focus is on the respect that they are due based on our interpretation or conception or their conduct [3]. Yet this book reminds the reader, and such a reminder is likely to be necessary, that respect is due to other people by virtue of being created in the image and likeness of God. By pointing our attention on the purpose of parenting in raising godly children who are able to live both freely and responsibly, something many children struggle with long into adulthood, the authors tenaciously refuse to give in to the tendency to use the power of authority to short-circuit the process of developing maturity among young people, while also demonstrating the importance that family members can offer in supporting and encouraging each other. While the stories told in this book, as is common in its genre, come off a bit too pat or convenient, each chapter includes questions for the reader to pointedly answer about their own lives and their own situations. This is a practical book that, if followed, would likely improve many families in areas where we all struggle--in treating others with respect and in communicating openly and kindly.
[1] See, for example:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
[2] See, for example:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
[3] See, for example:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
If you have watched the movie Fireproof [1] or read the book that inspired it, The Respect Dare, you likely have at least some grasp of what this book is attempting to accomplish. The authors (one of whom wrote The Respect Dare) are seeking to provide the same sort of 40-day devotional account, taking a little more than 200 pages, to encourage mothers in treating their tween and teen children with respect as a way of overcoming the generational gaps that often exist within families. If the Respect Dare was about the need for wives to respect and honor their husbands, this book is about honoring children who are growing into adulthood and facing the difficulties of learning how to live with the responsibilities that adulthood entails. It should be noted that like many of the books in my reading collection dealing with interpersonal difficulties [2], this book is written by women for women and largely about mothers and not fathers, as the authors of this book work under the assumption that women are more empathetic and more interested in personal communication. Although I have no children myself, and so this book is not necessarily immediately practical, the advice this book gives on treating others with respect is generally applicable to any sort of uneven power relationship where it is tempting on one side to withhold respect to those considered as lesser or subordinate beings under one's authority. Clearly, the material in this book are of interest to men even if few are intended or likely to read it.
Within the 40 dares for mothers of children between about 10 and 17, there are a lot of serious issues dealt with. The book begins with an assessment for the mother to take about how well she does in various aspects of parenting that the rest of the dares deal with as well: being a disciple of Jesus Christ, being a discipler that helps others to follow Him, being a good communicator, being a confident and assured parent, and being a skilled family relationship architect. Clearly a lot of women (to say nothing of men) could stand to improve in such matters, and this book minces no words, addressing parents struggling with gossip about their children, about the interpersonal conflicts within their families (including the threat of divorce), and wrestling with the sins of their children like pornography, promiscuity, materialism (including theft), and other related sins. Over and over again the authors urge a consistent approach to dealing with older children that respects their growing autonomy, encourages them to deal with the consequences of their actions, provides support and encouragement for their success, listens to their concerns, and asks questions rather than providing angry lectures. Over and over again, the authors demonstrate through various setups and examples mothers learning how to behave with respect and learning how to communicate that respect to the rest of their family, and controlling their own tempers so that they do not respond to the challenges of their children with anger and contempt.
There is a deep irony embedded within this title. The words that follow "with all due respect" in conversation usually involve a great deal of disrespect, as we will seldom respect others if our focus is on the respect that they are due based on our interpretation or conception or their conduct [3]. Yet this book reminds the reader, and such a reminder is likely to be necessary, that respect is due to other people by virtue of being created in the image and likeness of God. By pointing our attention on the purpose of parenting in raising godly children who are able to live both freely and responsibly, something many children struggle with long into adulthood, the authors tenaciously refuse to give in to the tendency to use the power of authority to short-circuit the process of developing maturity among young people, while also demonstrating the importance that family members can offer in supporting and encouraging each other. While the stories told in this book, as is common in its genre, come off a bit too pat or convenient, each chapter includes questions for the reader to pointedly answer about their own lives and their own situations. This is a practical book that, if followed, would likely improve many families in areas where we all struggle--in treating others with respect and in communicating openly and kindly.
[1] See, for example:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
[2] See, for example:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
[3] See, for example:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...
September 18, 2016
This book is a dare journal that will challenge every parent to step into happy relationship with their teens… I am just going to retrace the book content, because it’ll reveal the key points.
First it talks about the expectations parents have for their families, especially for their teens. The dare starts with a challenge for each parent to assess their parental interactions, revisit their childhood, focus on God’s vision, push the reset button, to be careful with the words, communicate respect early, stop yourself, take care of the temple, counter the culture, refrain from casting blame, speak the truth, parenthood perspective, leap outside the comfort zone, encourage, humor when things get hot, stay out of God’s way, practice thankfulness, be true to your word, offer compassion, give your kids grace, take time to listen, coach the kids through the conflicts, parent ahead, talk your kids through disappointments, drop the comparison, invite their friends in, separate your identity, avoid the blame game, respond with calm, remove the mask, deal with the person before the issue, respectively consider your kid’s request, model friendship to your kids, respect the rites of passage, teach your kids to self-process, be sensitive to other parents, release yourself from worry, encourage self-discipline, point out what is right, be a relationship architect.
First it talks about the expectations parents have for their families, especially for their teens. The dare starts with a challenge for each parent to assess their parental interactions, revisit their childhood, focus on God’s vision, push the reset button, to be careful with the words, communicate respect early, stop yourself, take care of the temple, counter the culture, refrain from casting blame, speak the truth, parenthood perspective, leap outside the comfort zone, encourage, humor when things get hot, stay out of God’s way, practice thankfulness, be true to your word, offer compassion, give your kids grace, take time to listen, coach the kids through the conflicts, parent ahead, talk your kids through disappointments, drop the comparison, invite their friends in, separate your identity, avoid the blame game, respond with calm, remove the mask, deal with the person before the issue, respectively consider your kid’s request, model friendship to your kids, respect the rites of passage, teach your kids to self-process, be sensitive to other parents, release yourself from worry, encourage self-discipline, point out what is right, be a relationship architect.
November 8, 2016
Teen and preteens are known for pushing their boundaries and our buttons. Parents often feel at their limit and wonder if they'll ever get back the sweet relationship with their children that existed before hormones raised their ugly head. The authors have experienced their own struggles with their teens and are willing to share their knowledge and insight into developing a respectful and loving relationship with your teenager. Each chapter begins with a scenario. It sums up the story with a bottom line that the author was trying to convey. A section with questions follows that allows the reader to get more insight and deeper reflection. It ends with a prayer that the parent can pray for themselves and their children. Scripture is at the beginning of every chapter and sprinkled liberally throughout.
I really liked the way the chapters were laid out. The book was interesting and kept my attention, something that is difficult to do with self-help type books. The authors used lots of stories that were relatable and also offered practical solutions and suggestions. The questions fit well with the chapter and were thought provoking. The book is divided up into 40 chapters so you can read one each day and be finished in a little over a month, or read all the way through like I did. Either way, this is definitely a book I would recommend for parents, teachers, grandparents, or anyone working with children. The authors did a great job in presenting the thought that treating someone with love and respect will go further than any yelling or demanding ever will.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher. All opinions expressed are my own.
I really liked the way the chapters were laid out. The book was interesting and kept my attention, something that is difficult to do with self-help type books. The authors used lots of stories that were relatable and also offered practical solutions and suggestions. The questions fit well with the chapter and were thought provoking. The book is divided up into 40 chapters so you can read one each day and be finished in a little over a month, or read all the way through like I did. Either way, this is definitely a book I would recommend for parents, teachers, grandparents, or anyone working with children. The authors did a great job in presenting the thought that treating someone with love and respect will go further than any yelling or demanding ever will.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher. All opinions expressed are my own.
September 26, 2016
This book is a treasure trove of wisdom for parents raising tweens and teens. Filled with many practical applications to everyday situations, the authors encourage parents to examine their hearts, find Christian mentors, bathe situations in prayer, and speak the truth in love. The book has 40 days of dares for parents to apply.
I enjoyed the book’s daily format of Bible verse, story, bottom line, application, questions, and prayer. I have three children ages 8-12, so this book speaks to my current situation and gives me preparation for their teen years. I read Dare 28, “Avoid the Blame Game,” aloud to my children as an effort to help them resolve conflict, and I already sense a positive change in their interactions. I have recommended this book to several other parents of tweens. Thank you Nina and Debbie for writing such a relevant book based on God’s principles.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
I enjoyed the book’s daily format of Bible verse, story, bottom line, application, questions, and prayer. I have three children ages 8-12, so this book speaks to my current situation and gives me preparation for their teen years. I read Dare 28, “Avoid the Blame Game,” aloud to my children as an effort to help them resolve conflict, and I already sense a positive change in their interactions. I have recommended this book to several other parents of tweens. Thank you Nina and Debbie for writing such a relevant book based on God’s principles.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
September 3, 2016
I expected about the same that I read online about tweens: give them space, but lay down the law. Mold their behavior to 'respectable' standards. I was given a refreshing change starting with the first chapter that stated "look at yourself first."
There were certain times in this book that I wished it was a little less faith based. I understand the need for god, but one chapter in particular made me feel like I wasn't a 'good enough' Christian. It asked questions like 'do you solve problems with the bible', 'do you make your family go to church', are you a 'scriptural parent' or a 'devotional parent'? Had there been a few more options like 'do you tend to give things to God when you can't do it yourself' or 'do you talk to your child about God without pushing your religion on your kids.' would have let me check a few boxes.
Overall, I liked the book. I had to internally edit, as this book made it pretty clear that 'as a mother you spend more time with your kids'. When I work my 80 hours and my husband is the stay at home parent. It is a book I'll keep around in the event I need it when my 2 year old turns 12, but it's not one I'm running to get for any friends or Family.
3/5
There were certain times in this book that I wished it was a little less faith based. I understand the need for god, but one chapter in particular made me feel like I wasn't a 'good enough' Christian. It asked questions like 'do you solve problems with the bible', 'do you make your family go to church', are you a 'scriptural parent' or a 'devotional parent'? Had there been a few more options like 'do you tend to give things to God when you can't do it yourself' or 'do you talk to your child about God without pushing your religion on your kids.' would have let me check a few boxes.
Overall, I liked the book. I had to internally edit, as this book made it pretty clear that 'as a mother you spend more time with your kids'. When I work my 80 hours and my husband is the stay at home parent. It is a book I'll keep around in the event I need it when my 2 year old turns 12, but it's not one I'm running to get for any friends or Family.
3/5
August 14, 2016
I gave it one less star mainly because it could have been better in my opinion with being a little less faith based (without taking it out) or being written better with faith being involved. I say this knowing my family and my extended family and how I would show them this book. THAT being said, IT WAS A GREAT BOOK! I really liked it and feel that it has a lot to offer to anyone. I feel anyone who reads with an open mind will gain a lot from it! I plan to use it and modify with my kids who don't have the same faith. Again, a REALLY GOOD READ and HELPFUL!
Read Full Review Here: http://bit.ly/2bhLlLD
Read Full Review Here: http://bit.ly/2bhLlLD
August 26, 2016
I recevied a complimentary copy.
I found it like a light in the dark and as a mom to sometimes many more children then I birthed, this is a very true book. Now for some people who do not follow God or see a true need, connection or existence, this book is not going to be for you. The authors have obviously found God and feel that life is only to be lived with him.
So stopping to pray might not be at all what you think is going to work. I would recommend this for all the rest of the God fearing, loving ,open hearted people of the world that would like to adjust themselves both mentally and spiritually while not getting mad enough to take out one of your own family members.
I found it like a light in the dark and as a mom to sometimes many more children then I birthed, this is a very true book. Now for some people who do not follow God or see a true need, connection or existence, this book is not going to be for you. The authors have obviously found God and feel that life is only to be lived with him.
So stopping to pray might not be at all what you think is going to work. I would recommend this for all the rest of the God fearing, loving ,open hearted people of the world that would like to adjust themselves both mentally and spiritually while not getting mad enough to take out one of your own family members.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews