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Make Your Husband Your Boyfriend Again
This book is a compendium of over-the-back-fence wisdom from countless discussions with others, assorted research, and personal experimentation.
It's intended for the wife who wants to jazz up a marriage that's become a bit worn down from the usual demands of adult life.
Just like Cinderella, Julia Black spent her early years in drudgery, then rose from the ashes. She now enjoys an enchanted existence of leisure and travel with her Prince Charming. Julia hopes to help other lovely ladies find their way to the ball and beyond.
She is the author of a little book of beauty tips, Like Fine Wine: A Head-to-Toe Youth Restoring Makeover for Ladies Over Forty.
www.juliablack.net
It's intended for the wife who wants to jazz up a marriage that's become a bit worn down from the usual demands of adult life.
Just like Cinderella, Julia Black spent her early years in drudgery, then rose from the ashes. She now enjoys an enchanted existence of leisure and travel with her Prince Charming. Julia hopes to help other lovely ladies find their way to the ball and beyond.
She is the author of a little book of beauty tips, Like Fine Wine: A Head-to-Toe Youth Restoring Makeover for Ladies Over Forty.
www.juliablack.net
116 pages, Paperback
First published August 26, 2015
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
December 4, 2015
The title did it for me. I mean, who wouldn’t want to get their good old boyfriend back from “Who is this man I married?” Wouldn’t you want to get that fluttery feel of butterflies in the stomach just anticipating his coming back from work? So I dug in with all my might, and boy did I get myself into something else!
Julia Black takes the reader on a wistful journey of relationship restoration, acknowledging the worst points in your marriage and the worst mistakes and moving on together. Getting past the lowest point, getting past the worst mistakes and making marriage work. She outlines very practical steps of bringing back old memories and building new ones and recreating the romantic atmosphere in your marriage – both in the physical and psychological environment.
According to Julia, we can make this work. Just give the man- and yourself- some attention.Although most of the ideas are things we hear over and over again, it's always nice to get it in a different voice and style.
I’ve been married for eighteen years and I found some helpful hints from this book, though there are things I skipped over which I didn’t find useful or practical at all. I also got to appreciate problems affecting marriages are kinda of universal – doesn’t matter which side of the equator you live. I live in Africa.
It was an eye opener to the way different things affect marriages in our different worlds. Julia says “too many kids will leave you poor, frazzled and worn out.” It’s something to do with the cost of bringing up the children. In my world it doesn’t really matter. The more the merrier! Unless you want them to go to some upmarket private schools and go overseas for college. I have five sons.
People have to work many jobs at the same time to make ends meet. Wow! I can imagine how tired both spouses will be – too tired to take care of the critical business. Here one job is enough. I also learnt space is expensive and may stress the couple so they must live in a space they can afford. And couples can just decide to sleep separately for some reasons (I snore, so I got worried). Aahh! So much is against the relationship couples must make more effort to fight for the survival of the marriages.
Much of the last part of the book gets heavy into bedroom affairs. The only reason why I didn’t give this book five stars is there is a bit of a contradiction when it advises couples to seek third party assistance for their sexual relationship to improve – mechanical toys, erotica, fantasies, strip dancers etc. Bottom line – it is psychological displacement of the partner. He/she becomes a means to fulfil a sexual desire aroused by someone else. To me that takes the whole idea of the ultimate intimacy between the partners out of the picture – enjoying the sexual relationship for who your partner is. When the external stimulator gets out of the picture – the whole fantasy fades away and you are back to neutral gear. My thought.
I enjoyed Appendix A, a reprint from The Madison Institute Newsletter, Fall Issue, 1894 titled ‘Instruction And Advice For The Young Bride on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God’ by Ruth Smythers, the wife of a Reverend Smythers. I feel sorry for the poor man!
“Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.”
“Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment. The wise wife will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection. She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while his huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress. As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more.”
My advice, read the book, take what works for you and leave what doesn’t.
I received a free copy of this book for an honest review from the author.
Julia Black takes the reader on a wistful journey of relationship restoration, acknowledging the worst points in your marriage and the worst mistakes and moving on together. Getting past the lowest point, getting past the worst mistakes and making marriage work. She outlines very practical steps of bringing back old memories and building new ones and recreating the romantic atmosphere in your marriage – both in the physical and psychological environment.
According to Julia, we can make this work. Just give the man- and yourself- some attention.Although most of the ideas are things we hear over and over again, it's always nice to get it in a different voice and style.
I’ve been married for eighteen years and I found some helpful hints from this book, though there are things I skipped over which I didn’t find useful or practical at all. I also got to appreciate problems affecting marriages are kinda of universal – doesn’t matter which side of the equator you live. I live in Africa.
It was an eye opener to the way different things affect marriages in our different worlds. Julia says “too many kids will leave you poor, frazzled and worn out.” It’s something to do with the cost of bringing up the children. In my world it doesn’t really matter. The more the merrier! Unless you want them to go to some upmarket private schools and go overseas for college. I have five sons.
People have to work many jobs at the same time to make ends meet. Wow! I can imagine how tired both spouses will be – too tired to take care of the critical business. Here one job is enough. I also learnt space is expensive and may stress the couple so they must live in a space they can afford. And couples can just decide to sleep separately for some reasons (I snore, so I got worried). Aahh! So much is against the relationship couples must make more effort to fight for the survival of the marriages.
Much of the last part of the book gets heavy into bedroom affairs. The only reason why I didn’t give this book five stars is there is a bit of a contradiction when it advises couples to seek third party assistance for their sexual relationship to improve – mechanical toys, erotica, fantasies, strip dancers etc. Bottom line – it is psychological displacement of the partner. He/she becomes a means to fulfil a sexual desire aroused by someone else. To me that takes the whole idea of the ultimate intimacy between the partners out of the picture – enjoying the sexual relationship for who your partner is. When the external stimulator gets out of the picture – the whole fantasy fades away and you are back to neutral gear. My thought.
I enjoyed Appendix A, a reprint from The Madison Institute Newsletter, Fall Issue, 1894 titled ‘Instruction And Advice For The Young Bride on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God’ by Ruth Smythers, the wife of a Reverend Smythers. I feel sorry for the poor man!
“Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.”
“Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment. The wise wife will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection. She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while his huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress. As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more.”
My advice, read the book, take what works for you and leave what doesn’t.
I received a free copy of this book for an honest review from the author.
August 15, 2016
This was a very quick read and – I was so happy to discover! – my husband is my boyfriend. So, why did I read this book?
My husband and I work hard on our marriage. He’s my favorite person in the world and I want to be this happily married forever. So, why not read a book that might give me ideas on how to keep my marriage happy?
This book outlines some very simple ideas for reconnecting with your husband – from actually setting aside time to talk to each other, complimenting him (genuinely), affectionate touching, trying to be attractive to him (with the benefit of his increased attention and reciprocal behavior), being honest about your desires and needs and how you feel about his, and, of course, the grease that keeps everything running smoothly: sex.
As I said, I happily went through this book thinking, “Okay, we are doing that right…” (Don’t worry, this realization won’t make me complacent.) Since we are happily married and are doing things suggested in this book, I have to say that it’s probably giving some really good advice for those unfortunate couples who are drifting away from each other.
And I absolutely laughed out loud while reading Appendix A, “Advice for Brides from 1894.” I’m going to read at least that part of the book to my hubby tonight.
My husband and I work hard on our marriage. He’s my favorite person in the world and I want to be this happily married forever. So, why not read a book that might give me ideas on how to keep my marriage happy?
This book outlines some very simple ideas for reconnecting with your husband – from actually setting aside time to talk to each other, complimenting him (genuinely), affectionate touching, trying to be attractive to him (with the benefit of his increased attention and reciprocal behavior), being honest about your desires and needs and how you feel about his, and, of course, the grease that keeps everything running smoothly: sex.
As I said, I happily went through this book thinking, “Okay, we are doing that right…” (Don’t worry, this realization won’t make me complacent.) Since we are happily married and are doing things suggested in this book, I have to say that it’s probably giving some really good advice for those unfortunate couples who are drifting away from each other.
And I absolutely laughed out loud while reading Appendix A, “Advice for Brides from 1894.” I’m going to read at least that part of the book to my hubby tonight.
June 28, 2016
The title did it for me. I mean, who wouldn’t want to get their good old boyfriend back from “Who is this man I married?” Wouldn’t you want to get that fluttery feel of butterflies in the stomach just anticipating his coming back from work? So I dug in with all my might, and boy did I get myself into something else!
Julia Black takes the reader on a wistful journey of relationship restoration, acknowledging the worst points in your marriage and the worst mistakes and moving on together. Getting past the lowest point, getting past the worst mistakes and making marriage work. She outlines very practical steps of bringing back old memories and building new ones and recreating the romantic atmosphere in your marriage – both in the physical and psychological environment.
According to Julia, we can make this work. Just give the man- and yourself- some attention.Although most of the ideas are things we hear over and over again, it's always nice to get it in a different voice and style.
I’ve been married for eighteen years and I found some helpful hints from this book, though there are things I skipped over which I didn’t find useful or practical at all. I also got to appreciate problems affecting marriages are kinda of universal – doesn’t matter which side of the equator you live. I live in Africa.
It was an eye opener to the way different things affect marriages in our different worlds. Julia says “too many kids will leave you poor, frazzled and worn out.” It’s something to do with the cost of bringing up the children. In my world it doesn’t really matter. The more the merrier! Unless you want them to go to some upmarket private schools and go overseas for college. I have five sons.
People have to work many jobs at the same time to make ends meet. Wow! I can imagine how tired both spouses will be – too tired to take care of the critical business. Here one job is enough. I also learnt space is expensive and may stress the couple so they must live in a space they can afford. And couples can just decide to sleep separately for some reasons (I snore, so I got worried). Aahh! So much is against the relationship couples must make more effort to fight for the survival of the marriages.
Much of the last part of the book gets heavy into bedroom affairs. The only reason why I didn’t give this book five stars is there is a bit of a contradiction when it advises couples to seek third party assistance for their sexual relationship to improve – mechanical toys, erotica, fantasies, strip dancers etc. Bottom line – it is psychological displacement of the partner. He/she becomes a means to fulfil a sexual desire aroused by someone else. To me that takes the whole idea of the ultimate intimacy between the partners out of the picture – enjoying the sexual relationship for who your partner is. When the external stimulator gets out of the picture – the whole fantasy fades away and you are back to neutral gear. My thought.
I enjoyed Appendix A, a reprint from The Madison Institute Newsletter, Fall Issue, 1894 titled ‘Instruction And Advice For The Young Bride on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God’ by Ruth Smythers, the wife of a Reverend Smythers. I feel sorry for the poor man!
“Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.”
“Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment. The wise wife will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection. She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while his huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress. As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more.”
My advice, read the book, take what works for you and leave what doesn’t.
I received a free copy of this book for an honest review from the author.
Julia Black takes the reader on a wistful journey of relationship restoration, acknowledging the worst points in your marriage and the worst mistakes and moving on together. Getting past the lowest point, getting past the worst mistakes and making marriage work. She outlines very practical steps of bringing back old memories and building new ones and recreating the romantic atmosphere in your marriage – both in the physical and psychological environment.
According to Julia, we can make this work. Just give the man- and yourself- some attention.Although most of the ideas are things we hear over and over again, it's always nice to get it in a different voice and style.
I’ve been married for eighteen years and I found some helpful hints from this book, though there are things I skipped over which I didn’t find useful or practical at all. I also got to appreciate problems affecting marriages are kinda of universal – doesn’t matter which side of the equator you live. I live in Africa.
It was an eye opener to the way different things affect marriages in our different worlds. Julia says “too many kids will leave you poor, frazzled and worn out.” It’s something to do with the cost of bringing up the children. In my world it doesn’t really matter. The more the merrier! Unless you want them to go to some upmarket private schools and go overseas for college. I have five sons.
People have to work many jobs at the same time to make ends meet. Wow! I can imagine how tired both spouses will be – too tired to take care of the critical business. Here one job is enough. I also learnt space is expensive and may stress the couple so they must live in a space they can afford. And couples can just decide to sleep separately for some reasons (I snore, so I got worried). Aahh! So much is against the relationship couples must make more effort to fight for the survival of the marriages.
Much of the last part of the book gets heavy into bedroom affairs. The only reason why I didn’t give this book five stars is there is a bit of a contradiction when it advises couples to seek third party assistance for their sexual relationship to improve – mechanical toys, erotica, fantasies, strip dancers etc. Bottom line – it is psychological displacement of the partner. He/she becomes a means to fulfil a sexual desire aroused by someone else. To me that takes the whole idea of the ultimate intimacy between the partners out of the picture – enjoying the sexual relationship for who your partner is. When the external stimulator gets out of the picture – the whole fantasy fades away and you are back to neutral gear. My thought.
I enjoyed Appendix A, a reprint from The Madison Institute Newsletter, Fall Issue, 1894 titled ‘Instruction And Advice For The Young Bride on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God’ by Ruth Smythers, the wife of a Reverend Smythers. I feel sorry for the poor man!
“Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.”
“Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment. The wise wife will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection. She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while his huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress. As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more.”
My advice, read the book, take what works for you and leave what doesn’t.
I received a free copy of this book for an honest review from the author.
September 27, 2015
Marriage is the hardest business on the planet. Work is a piece of cake compared to relationships that tax our entire being: energy, mind, intellect, emotions, and heart. In modern times, people are independent. There is no necessity to stay married, and infatuation withers over the years. So, what to do in case you want to preserve your marriage? For a start, read this book. We create and maintain our relationship and should do so consciously and attentively. It’s an art and needs to be learned. Moreover, a relationship is alive and can die a painful, awful, miserable death.
Julia offers abundant tips and tricks how to keep the fire of passion burning. Do you want to know how to find time for romance in the daily grind? Let her surprise you.
This is not a fluffy collection of idioms and saying. Julia has obviously done her homework. The interviews are fresh, well-presented, and void of condescension. Although non-fiction the writing is light and friendly, like an afternoon chat with friend - enjoyable.
I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an impartial review.
Julia offers abundant tips and tricks how to keep the fire of passion burning. Do you want to know how to find time for romance in the daily grind? Let her surprise you.
This is not a fluffy collection of idioms and saying. Julia has obviously done her homework. The interviews are fresh, well-presented, and void of condescension. Although non-fiction the writing is light and friendly, like an afternoon chat with friend - enjoyable.
I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an impartial review.
September 27, 2015
If you think that after five to six years of married life, only your husband has turned lousy, think twice. As married life progresses, the husband-wife relationship takes itself for granted. With increasing years, it starts losing spark, and that is when the rift begins.
Julia Black has tried to drive home a simple, yet powerful, message, which is, things change in a marriage when the boyfriend/girlfriend turn to behave like husband/wife. It means the day the initial attraction gets replaced by the humdrum, the relationship hits a low.
Through her book How to get your Boyfriend back (from the husband he turned into), Julia gives out simple tips to the wife to go all out to keep the spark in a marriage alive and how her husband remains the eternal boyfriend she married, by behaving like a girlfriend herself (kids and childbirth not withstanding!!!)
Its a definite must-read for all married, about-to-be married and yet-to-be-married couples.
P.S - The advisory by Madison Institute, 1894, will keep you in splits for sure. Do check this book out.
Julia Black has tried to drive home a simple, yet powerful, message, which is, things change in a marriage when the boyfriend/girlfriend turn to behave like husband/wife. It means the day the initial attraction gets replaced by the humdrum, the relationship hits a low.
Through her book How to get your Boyfriend back (from the husband he turned into), Julia gives out simple tips to the wife to go all out to keep the spark in a marriage alive and how her husband remains the eternal boyfriend she married, by behaving like a girlfriend herself (kids and childbirth not withstanding!!!)
Its a definite must-read for all married, about-to-be married and yet-to-be-married couples.
P.S - The advisory by Madison Institute, 1894, will keep you in splits for sure. Do check this book out.
August 3, 2016
This quick, easy read had quite a few helpful tips about how to reignite that spark between you and your husband. Although some of the tips were common sense, some were quite ingenious.
Overall, I found the book helpful. I quite enjoyed the anecdotes shared from married ladies and what they did to spice up their sex lives with their husbands.
If you think your love life could use a bit of a polish, then be sure to check out this lovely book. It's bound to give you a few tips to get you on your way.
Overall, I found the book helpful. I quite enjoyed the anecdotes shared from married ladies and what they did to spice up their sex lives with their husbands.
If you think your love life could use a bit of a polish, then be sure to check out this lovely book. It's bound to give you a few tips to get you on your way.
November 9, 2015
How to Get Your Boyfriend Back.
Julia Black
This book is written in the style of a self-help manual aimed at pre-menopausal women who want to put the spice back in their relationships. The title tells you all you need to know. This is intended to help you get your man back to the fun loving, sexy guy you met all those years ago. Crammed full of anecdotes and snippets from the author’s friends and acquaintances, it rolls along at a good pace. The chapters are short and varied, with lots of sound advice and a few bits I found less than helpful.
My criticism revolves around the fact that most of this advice has been written so many times since the first edition of the modern version of Cosmopolitan came out in late 1960s. Bearing in mind that Cosmo rehashes all the advice it has been giving modern women every few years (there are only so many subjects to discuss) then we can be sure that every aspect of every chapter in this book has been discussed several times over in the last fifty odd years. It is sadly, not original even if it is written in the author’s own style. I know this since I read almost every issue for many years when I was first married, a long time ago.
I was hoping for something original to jump out and surprise me but, sadly, that never happened. There were a few things I found less than helpful, to say the least. I should know, having been married three times! I was also a little surprised that the author apparently has the desire to go back in time, to a point in our lives when we saw everything through rose colored glasses and HE was the perfect partner. There is no such thing as perfection and we should all strive to make the most of what we have. I concur that some traits and behavior of the beginnings of a courtship/relationship can indeed be most welcome; however, making good on what you have now is more important. Advice centered around maximizing pleasure/enjoyment/arousal for bodies in their forties, fifties and beyond would have been more useful bearing in mind we all lose libido, ability, flexibility, sexiness and our svelte teenage shapes.
For these reasons I am afraid I can only award this effort three stars. I wanted more but it didn’t deliver.
Julia Black
This book is written in the style of a self-help manual aimed at pre-menopausal women who want to put the spice back in their relationships. The title tells you all you need to know. This is intended to help you get your man back to the fun loving, sexy guy you met all those years ago. Crammed full of anecdotes and snippets from the author’s friends and acquaintances, it rolls along at a good pace. The chapters are short and varied, with lots of sound advice and a few bits I found less than helpful.
My criticism revolves around the fact that most of this advice has been written so many times since the first edition of the modern version of Cosmopolitan came out in late 1960s. Bearing in mind that Cosmo rehashes all the advice it has been giving modern women every few years (there are only so many subjects to discuss) then we can be sure that every aspect of every chapter in this book has been discussed several times over in the last fifty odd years. It is sadly, not original even if it is written in the author’s own style. I know this since I read almost every issue for many years when I was first married, a long time ago.
I was hoping for something original to jump out and surprise me but, sadly, that never happened. There were a few things I found less than helpful, to say the least. I should know, having been married three times! I was also a little surprised that the author apparently has the desire to go back in time, to a point in our lives when we saw everything through rose colored glasses and HE was the perfect partner. There is no such thing as perfection and we should all strive to make the most of what we have. I concur that some traits and behavior of the beginnings of a courtship/relationship can indeed be most welcome; however, making good on what you have now is more important. Advice centered around maximizing pleasure/enjoyment/arousal for bodies in their forties, fifties and beyond would have been more useful bearing in mind we all lose libido, ability, flexibility, sexiness and our svelte teenage shapes.
For these reasons I am afraid I can only award this effort three stars. I wanted more but it didn’t deliver.
January 26, 2016
This is a fast read with interesting tips.
Although I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review, it's worth the price of the book to read about her experiments into various aphrodisiacs She noted that (most) men want sex most of the time, while women's desire fluctuates depending on time of the month and all kinds of other things - yep, noticed that. However, one bit of advice she repeated several times to "grant him sex" really grated - it came across as condescending. But I've read a few self-help books and different things speak to different readers.
One tip I agree with - giving leads to receiving. Who hasn't been caught in the old spiral of "why should I do anything for him, if he's not doing anything for me?" I agree with the author, every time I break that spiral, it has repaid handsomely.
Each chapter includes lists of things to do and try, using several formatting methods. Just 84 pages of text...The lists needed to be offset, put in a box, something to break them out from the rest of the text. Maybe that sounds like a small thing to get peeved about? Too bad, it drove me batty. A few typos, but every self-published book has them. On the whole, well written.
I enjoyed the author's conversational, "we're all just girls" style. A bit preachy at times, but it usually came across as caring. Occasionally she wrote something like "I just thought this bit was interesting..." It turned the feel away from being a self-help book and more toward reading a series of blog entries. That could work just fine, but it felt as though the book wasn't quite sure what style to use and mixed the two.
Overall recommendation: If the sizzle in your marriage has fizzled, this book will provide some useful tips.
Although I received a free copy in exchange for an honest review, it's worth the price of the book to read about her experiments into various aphrodisiacs She noted that (most) men want sex most of the time, while women's desire fluctuates depending on time of the month and all kinds of other things - yep, noticed that. However, one bit of advice she repeated several times to "grant him sex" really grated - it came across as condescending. But I've read a few self-help books and different things speak to different readers.
One tip I agree with - giving leads to receiving. Who hasn't been caught in the old spiral of "why should I do anything for him, if he's not doing anything for me?" I agree with the author, every time I break that spiral, it has repaid handsomely.
Each chapter includes lists of things to do and try, using several formatting methods. Just 84 pages of text...The lists needed to be offset, put in a box, something to break them out from the rest of the text. Maybe that sounds like a small thing to get peeved about? Too bad, it drove me batty. A few typos, but every self-published book has them. On the whole, well written.
I enjoyed the author's conversational, "we're all just girls" style. A bit preachy at times, but it usually came across as caring. Occasionally she wrote something like "I just thought this bit was interesting..." It turned the feel away from being a self-help book and more toward reading a series of blog entries. That could work just fine, but it felt as though the book wasn't quite sure what style to use and mixed the two.
Overall recommendation: If the sizzle in your marriage has fizzled, this book will provide some useful tips.
August 12, 2016
I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
As a man who has been married for 27 years I totally agree with the paragraph in the first chapter of this book:
"A lifelong love affair doesn’t just happen. It comes to couples who make it a priority and learn how to keep it hot, regardless of everything else that clamors for their attention."
That being said, it is hard for a relationship to compete with "everything else that clamors for their attention".
It's nice to have a book like this to remind me of the importance of taking a little time to renew the passion.
A large portion of the book covers lifestyle and health. While it's true that it's hard to be sexy when you are spending all your energy trying to survive, I feel the book spent a little too much time on it.
As a comic relief the end of the book adds a "Marriage Survival Guide" from the 1800s, which today could be considered a "How to torture your Husband Guide."
Overall I liked it but it didn't mention the most important thing I have found to help a marriage. Never miss "Hug Your Wife Day". I've never been told what calendar day that is, so I make sure to hug my wife at least once a day to make sure I never miss it.
As a man who has been married for 27 years I totally agree with the paragraph in the first chapter of this book:
"A lifelong love affair doesn’t just happen. It comes to couples who make it a priority and learn how to keep it hot, regardless of everything else that clamors for their attention."
That being said, it is hard for a relationship to compete with "everything else that clamors for their attention".
It's nice to have a book like this to remind me of the importance of taking a little time to renew the passion.
A large portion of the book covers lifestyle and health. While it's true that it's hard to be sexy when you are spending all your energy trying to survive, I feel the book spent a little too much time on it.
As a comic relief the end of the book adds a "Marriage Survival Guide" from the 1800s, which today could be considered a "How to torture your Husband Guide."
Overall I liked it but it didn't mention the most important thing I have found to help a marriage. Never miss "Hug Your Wife Day". I've never been told what calendar day that is, so I make sure to hug my wife at least once a day to make sure I never miss it.
August 16, 2016
Make Your Husband Your Boyfriend Again by Julia Black, et al is a practical guide for improving the sex life of couples who have been married long enough to fall into the routines of ignoring each other and losing the romance in their marriage. It discusses how to come back from the brink of the business of raising a family and set time aside for the relationship. This guide emphasizes that reviving a sex life for a couple that has fallen into a routine takes work on the part of both partners. This book contains many practical recommendations for tackling the problems encountered by couples wanting to make the effort. There are suggestions and personal testimonies from couples who have made the effort to become more intimate and overcome their daily habits and routines.
I give this work a five out of five. For couples willing to make the effort this guide contains valuable suggestions, examples, and a twenty-eight day challenge to lighting a fire under a slow burning love life. Anyone seeking romance from their life partner will find this book valuable.
I give this work a five out of five. For couples willing to make the effort this guide contains valuable suggestions, examples, and a twenty-eight day challenge to lighting a fire under a slow burning love life. Anyone seeking romance from their life partner will find this book valuable.
September 9, 2015
I was given a free copy of this book for review.
This delightful book is crammed full of great advice, much of it immediately practically applicable. I actually can't wait to try out some of her suggestions in my own 24-year old relationship. Even though much of the material should be common-sense, it doesn't hurt to be reminded of these things from time-to-time. We often become lazy or caught up in the busy-ness of living our lives and forget to work on the most important relationship of all. The author shares a lot of her own personal experience, which made the book much more real and the truths far more palatable.
The book is written in a fun, easy-to-read style, but it is well-written, well-researched and well-presented. I never felt as if the author was condescending or preaching at me. Rather, reading the book was more akin to enjoying a cosy chat with a girlfriend.
Buy this book - you'll love it too!
This delightful book is crammed full of great advice, much of it immediately practically applicable. I actually can't wait to try out some of her suggestions in my own 24-year old relationship. Even though much of the material should be common-sense, it doesn't hurt to be reminded of these things from time-to-time. We often become lazy or caught up in the busy-ness of living our lives and forget to work on the most important relationship of all. The author shares a lot of her own personal experience, which made the book much more real and the truths far more palatable.
The book is written in a fun, easy-to-read style, but it is well-written, well-researched and well-presented. I never felt as if the author was condescending or preaching at me. Rather, reading the book was more akin to enjoying a cosy chat with a girlfriend.
Buy this book - you'll love it too!
January 12, 2016
I liked the easy, chatty style of this book which reads very much like advice that is passed between friends - informal, friendly and, at times, humorous.
The author gives us plenty of anecdotes, snippets of advice, statistics and girlfriend-ly encouragements to try out something new to breathe life into a marriage.
There were a few bits of advice that I will be putting into action. I particularly appreciated the discussions on the different phases a marriage goes through as couples balance the demands of young children, demanding jobs and other responsibilities and how these tasks can tail off as the children grow older. I've not looked at the life span of a marriage in such a way before.
In all, I found this book a refreshing view and a compilation of fun, happy tactics anyone can try.
I received a copy of this book in return for an honest, non-reciprocal review.
The author gives us plenty of anecdotes, snippets of advice, statistics and girlfriend-ly encouragements to try out something new to breathe life into a marriage.
There were a few bits of advice that I will be putting into action. I particularly appreciated the discussions on the different phases a marriage goes through as couples balance the demands of young children, demanding jobs and other responsibilities and how these tasks can tail off as the children grow older. I've not looked at the life span of a marriage in such a way before.
In all, I found this book a refreshing view and a compilation of fun, happy tactics anyone can try.
I received a copy of this book in return for an honest, non-reciprocal review.
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June 10, 2017Whether you think you need it, or don't need it: Read it!
The content of “Make Your Husband Your Boyfriend Again” is of keen interest not only for people who have problems in their marriage, but also for those who want to strengthen their relationships. Now, Julia Black not only plays the theme "Save a Marriage", but she goes beyond; she talks about everything you should know if you want to have a solid relationship and not to fall into a crisis in the face of any given problem.
The style of the author is lively and agile. The continuous quotation of diverse testimonies, turns her prose polyphonic and highly entertaining.
One of my favorites statements: “The love affair between you is the foundation for all the rest and it needs room to flourish.”
A five stars all the way!
The content of “Make Your Husband Your Boyfriend Again” is of keen interest not only for people who have problems in their marriage, but also for those who want to strengthen their relationships. Now, Julia Black not only plays the theme "Save a Marriage", but she goes beyond; she talks about everything you should know if you want to have a solid relationship and not to fall into a crisis in the face of any given problem.
The style of the author is lively and agile. The continuous quotation of diverse testimonies, turns her prose polyphonic and highly entertaining.
One of my favorites statements: “The love affair between you is the foundation for all the rest and it needs room to flourish.”
A five stars all the way!
January 11, 2016
Enjoyably Informative!
Feel like the romance and sex in your relationship has become lost somewhere between having children and managing every day pressures such as work demands, home duties, and financial stresses?
Then you must read How to Get Your Boyfriend Back [From the Husband He Turned Into] by Julia Black. This reader-friendly book provides clear, practical and sometimes amusing suggestions in how to reignite the passion in your relationship.
It is well researched and uses a number of real-life examples. I particularly liked the dot-pointed summary, What to Do, at the end of each chapter and have personally taken on board many of Black’s suggestions. A great read.
I was given a free copy of this book by the author in exchange for an honest review.
Feel like the romance and sex in your relationship has become lost somewhere between having children and managing every day pressures such as work demands, home duties, and financial stresses?
Then you must read How to Get Your Boyfriend Back [From the Husband He Turned Into] by Julia Black. This reader-friendly book provides clear, practical and sometimes amusing suggestions in how to reignite the passion in your relationship.
It is well researched and uses a number of real-life examples. I particularly liked the dot-pointed summary, What to Do, at the end of each chapter and have personally taken on board many of Black’s suggestions. A great read.
I was given a free copy of this book by the author in exchange for an honest review.
September 28, 2016
Got this book from the author to review.
A very useful handbook for all the wives for bringing the spice back into there lives that it use to have in the beginning. The tips given are superb and they will surely be very useful for all the wives.
I recommend it for each and every women. Every women should read this handbook thoroughly. Even if everything is fine between you and your husband, this handbook can help you a great deal in making the things even better.
Very nicely it has been written by the author. Overall a must read for all wives and also for those who are 'about to be a wife'.
A very useful handbook for all the wives for bringing the spice back into there lives that it use to have in the beginning. The tips given are superb and they will surely be very useful for all the wives.
I recommend it for each and every women. Every women should read this handbook thoroughly. Even if everything is fine between you and your husband, this handbook can help you a great deal in making the things even better.
Very nicely it has been written by the author. Overall a must read for all wives and also for those who are 'about to be a wife'.
August 21, 2016
This book was filled with ideas and great advise on how to spice up a marriage. Included are interesting real life stories and glimpses into others relationships. I enjoyed this book and would recommend to anyone who is looking for a way to try new things in their marriage.
July 11, 2016
In this self-help book Julia Black addresses a topic with a potentially huge audience–women who feel their relationships are losing their spice, drowning in what she calls ‘the dreary dailies’ and in need of some serious ‘jazzing up’.
The question of how to keep romance alive while coping with all the other stuff life throws at us–kids, pets, domestic chores, over-intrusive relatives, pressure of work and a consumer society which constantly hammers us with the message that ‘more is better’–is something most of us can relate to. Indeed, the same issues she talks about in her book arise over and over again in fiction, novels where the protagonists are often trying to work through similar problems to build or preserve their couple.
Ms Black is by no means the first to write a self-help manual on the subject, in fact she adds a bibliography at the end which includes classics such as ‘The Joy of Sex’ and ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’. Similarly, for many readers, the problems she lists and the tips in her ‘To Do’ lists will not be new. But what I found engaging about this book is the author’s knack of making us think about such problems once again, and encouraging us to keep trying to modify our behaviour in the hopes (?) that the man in our life will ‘mirror’ such initiatives and also change. It was sort of like a refresher course. I found myself nodding from time to time and making mental notes– ‘yes, I’d forgotten that, hmm, I need to work on that some more’. (‘Work’ of course being the four-letter word in romantic relationships).
The way she achieves this owes a lot to her style which is light, easy to read, and practical, with touches of humour (sexually speaking, she tells us, men are ‘blow torches’, women are ‘crockpots’). Her tone is often refreshingly bracing without being hectoring. There are plenty of imperatives–‘plan this’, ‘consider that’, plus the odd ‘hell, no!’ and ‘Just do it, dammit!’ The overall impression I got when reading the book was that it was very much like sitting down for a heart-to-heart with your best friend when things are going off track with your beloved and you’re sorely in need of a large glass of wine and some wise, un-minced words. (Readers will have to supply the wine themselves).
The forthright approach continues into the last part of the book. Having sorted the bills, the kids, the in-laws, the underwear drawer (get rid of those ‘old grey drawers’! Go for the red lace!) and given the bedroom a romantic makeover, it’s time to address the elephant in the corner of the Honeymoon Suite. Sex, or rather, lack of it. Here again, Ms Black is thorough, and explicit. Use it or lose it. Whatever aids, accessories, inventive games and challenges can get us back on track, give them a go, see what works and what feels comfortable. She even includes a list of aphrodisiacs, all tested on herself (I found this a bit alarming, but she has survived to write the book).
A hilariously funny (and in many ways sad) appendix at the end was a pamphlet for new brides issued in 1894 by The Madison Institute. Anyone who needs reminding how women’s control of their relationships, their bodies and their sexual identity has changed, should read this.
To conclude, this short book was detailed without being dreary, upbeat, (you can do it!), a fresh look at an old subject. Informative and useful for beginners, while, for women further along the rocky path of experience, the kind of pep talk you need to hand when, as the song goes, you’re sitting there in the same old shaggy dress, feeling fed up, weary and wondering where the hell Otis and his bit of tenderness has gone.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
October 14, 2015
This short book concentrates on the sexual aspect of married life, and how to rekindle those initial feelings of overwhelming lust and excitement. The techniques described, and they are varied, would probably do that, and if that was all this short book included it would be a winner for me. However, I found some of the other implied ‘truths’ to be distinctly unsettling.
Unreferenced, scary statistics about how most marriages fail, and most men cheat, set the scene for why this book is needed. It then asks how many lasting marriages are ‘joyous, sexy and fun’, as if marriages that aren’t constantly in this state, are also failures.
Barriers to keeping marriage joyous etc, include having too many kids, pets or obligations such as wider family or work, all of which can distract from the primary focus, which should be your spouse. The author advises women to return to their ‘girlfriend’ personas to fix things. This will cause her husband to mirror her behaviour and become more of a ‘boyfriend’ again.
Being ‘girlfriendish’ includes sexy underwear, more makeup, a diet/exercise plan, redecorating your bedroom, plus giving him compliments and gifts, in the hope that he will reciprocate in kind. Kick starting this process by having sex every night for 28 days, is recommended because men like sex more often than women. ‘Granting him sex,’ even when she doesn’t want it, is also ‘girlfriendish’. I did have a problem with the philosophy that if the woman becomes paranoid about pleasing her husband, it is implied that she’ll avoid the scary statistics at the start of the book.
I agree with the author that taking aphrodisiac remedies, at triple the manufacturers recommended dose, or taking a prescription drug designed for mem is not recommended, although this is what she does in the spirit of research for sex tips.
My own opinion is that if your goal is to maintain the level of enthusiasm and excitement you had when you first met, till death do you part, you are setting yourself up to fail, we’re not built that way. Each phase of a loving relationship is special, and one is not necessarily better than another, that goes for all relationships, e.g. having small children is fun, having adult children is also great, but different. If everyone was at it like bunnies (as many people are at the start) the world would grind to a halt. Respect, acceptance and dare I say it, unconditional love are far more important. I also felt rather perturbed by the impression that men are led around by their libidos, keep that happy and all will be well…
Even though I didn’t agree with some of the underlying messages, if taken as a guide to spice up a love life in a solid relationship, this book has some useful ideas. It won’t save a marriage on the rocks, because if superficial things stop a spouse cheating, you have to wonder about the ‘in sickness and in health’ part of the relationship.
Unreferenced, scary statistics about how most marriages fail, and most men cheat, set the scene for why this book is needed. It then asks how many lasting marriages are ‘joyous, sexy and fun’, as if marriages that aren’t constantly in this state, are also failures.
Barriers to keeping marriage joyous etc, include having too many kids, pets or obligations such as wider family or work, all of which can distract from the primary focus, which should be your spouse. The author advises women to return to their ‘girlfriend’ personas to fix things. This will cause her husband to mirror her behaviour and become more of a ‘boyfriend’ again.
Being ‘girlfriendish’ includes sexy underwear, more makeup, a diet/exercise plan, redecorating your bedroom, plus giving him compliments and gifts, in the hope that he will reciprocate in kind. Kick starting this process by having sex every night for 28 days, is recommended because men like sex more often than women. ‘Granting him sex,’ even when she doesn’t want it, is also ‘girlfriendish’. I did have a problem with the philosophy that if the woman becomes paranoid about pleasing her husband, it is implied that she’ll avoid the scary statistics at the start of the book.
I agree with the author that taking aphrodisiac remedies, at triple the manufacturers recommended dose, or taking a prescription drug designed for mem is not recommended, although this is what she does in the spirit of research for sex tips.
My own opinion is that if your goal is to maintain the level of enthusiasm and excitement you had when you first met, till death do you part, you are setting yourself up to fail, we’re not built that way. Each phase of a loving relationship is special, and one is not necessarily better than another, that goes for all relationships, e.g. having small children is fun, having adult children is also great, but different. If everyone was at it like bunnies (as many people are at the start) the world would grind to a halt. Respect, acceptance and dare I say it, unconditional love are far more important. I also felt rather perturbed by the impression that men are led around by their libidos, keep that happy and all will be well…
Even though I didn’t agree with some of the underlying messages, if taken as a guide to spice up a love life in a solid relationship, this book has some useful ideas. It won’t save a marriage on the rocks, because if superficial things stop a spouse cheating, you have to wonder about the ‘in sickness and in health’ part of the relationship.
September 8, 2016
This review is of the original publication from 2014.
This book is written in the style of a self-help manual aimed at pre-menopausal women who want to put the spice back in their relationships. The title tells you all you need to know. This is intended to help you get your man back to the fun loving, sexy guy you met all those years ago. Crammed full of anecdotes and snippets from the author’s friends and acquaintances, it rolls along at a good pace. The chapters are short and varied, with lots of sound advice and a few bits I found less than helpful.
My criticism revolves around the fact that most of this advice has been written so many times since the first edition of the modern version of Cosmopolitan came out in late 1960s. Bearing in mind that Cosmo rehashes all the advice it has been giving modern women every few years (there are only so many subjects to discuss) then we can be sure that every aspect of every chapter in this book has been discussed several times over in the last fifty odd years. It is sadly, not original even if it is written in the author’s own style. I know this since I read almost every issue for many years when I was first married, a long time ago.
I was hoping for something original to jump out and surprise me but, sadly, that never happened. There were a few things I found less than helpful, to say the least. I should know, having been married three times! I was also a little surprised that the author apparently has the desire to go back in time, to a point in our lives when we saw everything through rose colored glasses and HE was the perfect partner. There is no such thing as perfection and we should all strive to make the most of what we have. I concur that some traits and behavior of the beginnings of a courtship/relationship can indeed be most welcome; however, making good on what you have now is more important. Advice centered around maximizing pleasure/enjoyment/arousal for bodies in their forties, fifties and beyond would have been more useful bearing in mind we all lose libido, ability, flexibility, sexiness and our svelte teenage shapes.
For these reasons I am afraid I can only award this effort three stars. I wanted more but it didn’t deliver.
This book is written in the style of a self-help manual aimed at pre-menopausal women who want to put the spice back in their relationships. The title tells you all you need to know. This is intended to help you get your man back to the fun loving, sexy guy you met all those years ago. Crammed full of anecdotes and snippets from the author’s friends and acquaintances, it rolls along at a good pace. The chapters are short and varied, with lots of sound advice and a few bits I found less than helpful.
My criticism revolves around the fact that most of this advice has been written so many times since the first edition of the modern version of Cosmopolitan came out in late 1960s. Bearing in mind that Cosmo rehashes all the advice it has been giving modern women every few years (there are only so many subjects to discuss) then we can be sure that every aspect of every chapter in this book has been discussed several times over in the last fifty odd years. It is sadly, not original even if it is written in the author’s own style. I know this since I read almost every issue for many years when I was first married, a long time ago.
I was hoping for something original to jump out and surprise me but, sadly, that never happened. There were a few things I found less than helpful, to say the least. I should know, having been married three times! I was also a little surprised that the author apparently has the desire to go back in time, to a point in our lives when we saw everything through rose colored glasses and HE was the perfect partner. There is no such thing as perfection and we should all strive to make the most of what we have. I concur that some traits and behavior of the beginnings of a courtship/relationship can indeed be most welcome; however, making good on what you have now is more important. Advice centered around maximizing pleasure/enjoyment/arousal for bodies in their forties, fifties and beyond would have been more useful bearing in mind we all lose libido, ability, flexibility, sexiness and our svelte teenage shapes.
For these reasons I am afraid I can only award this effort three stars. I wanted more but it didn’t deliver.
December 14, 2015
This book is filled with a lot of advice, some tried and tested by the author herself to help rejuvenate stale marriages that is lacking or dwindling in mutual sexual enjoyment that often times end marriages. It touches on little things women can do to make their selves more sexually attractive to their partners and fun task they can engage in to bring more spice to their love life. There were some tips on aphrodisiacs can be used to help increase women’s sexual drive and make them welcome and look forward to having fun with their husbands or partners. It is also important to note that the reactions experienced by the author while testing these different aphrodisiacs might be different for others. While I believe most of the advice shared in this book will work to a degree, I wasn’t sure if it will work if a marriage has run its course and there is no longer love that exists between two people that allows for them to take a leap of fate and do whatever it takes to save their marriage.
Also it is mainly about what women can do to make their man more sexually comfortable while also enjoying taking part in the act themselves, as the book title clearly states it’s “How to get your boyfriend back from the husband he turned into,” but it was all about the woman doing things to accommodate her husband and spice up her marriage which I think can become tiring and one sided after a while, because not every partner will react with the same gratitude and equally put the same effort into pleasing their partners which is normally while I think women shy away from constantly having daily sex with their partners.
Also I feel like too much of something is bad and can at times result in the partner wanting something different even when games are added into the mix. Just a personal thought.
All in all, I enjoyed reading this book, and if you are in need of rejuvenation in your married sexual life, then this book is for you, you may learn a thing or two.
Also it is mainly about what women can do to make their man more sexually comfortable while also enjoying taking part in the act themselves, as the book title clearly states it’s “How to get your boyfriend back from the husband he turned into,” but it was all about the woman doing things to accommodate her husband and spice up her marriage which I think can become tiring and one sided after a while, because not every partner will react with the same gratitude and equally put the same effort into pleasing their partners which is normally while I think women shy away from constantly having daily sex with their partners.
Also I feel like too much of something is bad and can at times result in the partner wanting something different even when games are added into the mix. Just a personal thought.
All in all, I enjoyed reading this book, and if you are in need of rejuvenation in your married sexual life, then this book is for you, you may learn a thing or two.
July 23, 2016
For anyone interested in rejuvenating their marriage, this little self-help guide might be a fun start. For any one in the early years of their marriage, this book might be useful as well. For it will warn you about important things you should know before you think of calling it quits: that you will fall in and out of love many times around during your relationship, that the out of love part may feel sometimes like an endurance course imagined by some sadistic marine. (There you have it: the survival of the fittest.) But, of course, the in love part is the reward. And it is a repetitious reward.
Sex is the toughest part to maintain during a long relationship. Children, work, routine and plain fatigue get in the way. Black proposes “28 sexy nights in a row,” admitting that some may work, and others may end in failure. What matters is making the daily effort, so couples can become sexual again.
There are quite a few other ideas, some practical, some fun, some funny, as this book is not devoid of humor. Why not? Humor is to passion what a glass of wine is to seduction.
Just to amuse the reader, in fact, Black added this Appendix, “Advice for Brides from 1894—From the Madison Institute Newsletter Fall Issue, 1894...” This particular piece was written by Ruth Smyders, wife of Reverend L.D. Smyders. Although I should have cried for women from previous generations, I guiltily admit this article cracked me up. The way it teaches married women how to stand the torture of sex(that must happen in the dark, always, and never–ever–in the nude) and then, in later years, how to avoid it altogether.
Brief and written in a casual manner, this guide, well informed and supported by the occasional testimony, makes for a pleasant and efficient experience.
Sex is the toughest part to maintain during a long relationship. Children, work, routine and plain fatigue get in the way. Black proposes “28 sexy nights in a row,” admitting that some may work, and others may end in failure. What matters is making the daily effort, so couples can become sexual again.
There are quite a few other ideas, some practical, some fun, some funny, as this book is not devoid of humor. Why not? Humor is to passion what a glass of wine is to seduction.
Just to amuse the reader, in fact, Black added this Appendix, “Advice for Brides from 1894—From the Madison Institute Newsletter Fall Issue, 1894...” This particular piece was written by Ruth Smyders, wife of Reverend L.D. Smyders. Although I should have cried for women from previous generations, I guiltily admit this article cracked me up. The way it teaches married women how to stand the torture of sex(that must happen in the dark, always, and never–ever–in the nude) and then, in later years, how to avoid it altogether.
Brief and written in a casual manner, this guide, well informed and supported by the occasional testimony, makes for a pleasant and efficient experience.
October 15, 2015
Quite an odd but interesting book
I don't have a husband but I read it purely out of curiosity (the title was intriguing; I have to admit I am a sucker for good titles). And I was not disappointed. The author has indeed written an entertaining book. Among the stats mentioned in the book, I can definitely confirm to the following based on my personal experience:
"60-80% of men want frequent sex, no matter how long they’ve been in a relationship.
In 33% of marriages, the partners have seriously mismatched libidos. Most often the female is the spouse with the lower desire."
In spite of what the book appears to be at the start, it is certainly not against either marriage or relationships; far from it, the book actually guides you as to how to make your existing relationships better. The 'to do list format' the book uses is quite helpful. The tips are quite simple and doable for any couple. Indeed I would say that many tips here would apply equally if you are a man with a girlfriend or wife who no longer pleases you as much. I also agree with one of the things the author said that would help enhance an existing relationship: "Respect each partner’s preferences." - too many times that does not happen, which results in poor quality, lackluster relationships. Sigh!
I don't have a husband but I read it purely out of curiosity (the title was intriguing; I have to admit I am a sucker for good titles). And I was not disappointed. The author has indeed written an entertaining book. Among the stats mentioned in the book, I can definitely confirm to the following based on my personal experience:
"60-80% of men want frequent sex, no matter how long they’ve been in a relationship.
In 33% of marriages, the partners have seriously mismatched libidos. Most often the female is the spouse with the lower desire."
In spite of what the book appears to be at the start, it is certainly not against either marriage or relationships; far from it, the book actually guides you as to how to make your existing relationships better. The 'to do list format' the book uses is quite helpful. The tips are quite simple and doable for any couple. Indeed I would say that many tips here would apply equally if you are a man with a girlfriend or wife who no longer pleases you as much. I also agree with one of the things the author said that would help enhance an existing relationship: "Respect each partner’s preferences." - too many times that does not happen, which results in poor quality, lackluster relationships. Sigh!
January 13, 2016
I would recommend this book to women already in "good" marriages/long term relationships who feel things need a little spicing up.
The book brings together many interesting ways to rejuvenate marriages.
In terms of the presentation and the way the author explains her system and ideas I couldn't fault it. The book is well written and flows naturally. The framework of short chapters covering a particular issue with a quick re-cap/call to action at the end of each chapter works perfectly. The author's warmth, wit and enthusiam comes through as she guides the reader through a series of activities proven to return the romance and excitement to a tired relationship. I found the Maddison 1894 guide for new brides a highly entertaining addition.
I did however feel a little uncomfortable with some of the suggestions, such as all single women wish they were married, dressing to please your partner rather than yourself and consenting to sex when you'd rather not. Within the context of a balenced equal relationship maybe, but generally to encourage such submissive, girlish behaviour didn't sit right with me.
Some very inventive ideas that could help some marriages brought together in a handy easy to read book.
The book brings together many interesting ways to rejuvenate marriages.
In terms of the presentation and the way the author explains her system and ideas I couldn't fault it. The book is well written and flows naturally. The framework of short chapters covering a particular issue with a quick re-cap/call to action at the end of each chapter works perfectly. The author's warmth, wit and enthusiam comes through as she guides the reader through a series of activities proven to return the romance and excitement to a tired relationship. I found the Maddison 1894 guide for new brides a highly entertaining addition.
I did however feel a little uncomfortable with some of the suggestions, such as all single women wish they were married, dressing to please your partner rather than yourself and consenting to sex when you'd rather not. Within the context of a balenced equal relationship maybe, but generally to encourage such submissive, girlish behaviour didn't sit right with me.
Some very inventive ideas that could help some marriages brought together in a handy easy to read book.
August 31, 2016
Make your husband your boyfriend again is a quick and easy to read book. Julia writes about how you can keep relationships happy, save and fresh. She focuses on sexuality and erotism and is doing it in an open and light way. Julia has a nice quick and sparkling way of writing. This book is a self-help book.
Because she is focusing on young families I had the feeling that Julia herself is not a 60 years old woman and married for 35 years. I searched for a biography on the website of amazon and goodreads but couldn't find any. I don't know anything about Julia Black. I can imagine that people who buy this book should like to know who Julie Black is and why she wrote the book. Some more personal information about the author is, I think, for this kind of books a recommendation!
But my real problem with the book is the title. The title suggest more; a self-help book about good relationships how to build them and how to keep them sparkling. It takes a lot more to keep your relationship happy and fresh for a lifetime than styling your bedroom and beeing a sexy and attractive woman. Its not only the responsibility of the wife!
If the title had been "How women can discover their sexuality" I would have felt more comfortable.
Because she is focusing on young families I had the feeling that Julia herself is not a 60 years old woman and married for 35 years. I searched for a biography on the website of amazon and goodreads but couldn't find any. I don't know anything about Julia Black. I can imagine that people who buy this book should like to know who Julie Black is and why she wrote the book. Some more personal information about the author is, I think, for this kind of books a recommendation!
But my real problem with the book is the title. The title suggest more; a self-help book about good relationships how to build them and how to keep them sparkling. It takes a lot more to keep your relationship happy and fresh for a lifetime than styling your bedroom and beeing a sexy and attractive woman. Its not only the responsibility of the wife!
If the title had been "How women can discover their sexuality" I would have felt more comfortable.
October 14, 2015
Although this book is aimed at women, I found it to be an extremely useful read. The author uses a chatty, friendly, and easily readable style to put across a plethora of ideas about how to put the spark back in a long-term relationship where things might not be as sizzling as they once were. Although there is a lot of advice, it doesn't seem overwhelming, as the author advocates small changes that could have a big impact, and the reader can pick and choose what to try out. The author makes a sensible point that I hadn't actually thought much about: as we get older, focusing on kids and other responsibilities might seem like the mature thing to do but those areas will actually suffer, if we're not maintaining that base of intimacy that our relationship was built on. Black has clearly done a lot of research and includes direct quotes from women that illustrate common problems. There are a couple of surprises at the end of the book too, one of which will make you giggle as well as perhaps slightly terrify you! Although this is non-fiction, it's no weighty tome, and can be digested in an afternoon - that's sure to be time well spent.
September 30, 2015
I was completely drawn to the title of this book. It is a handy guide on how to add some sugar and spice back into your marriage. I am a single woman and I learned a lot from reading this book. As a single woman on the outside looking in, it seems like my married friends have it so easy always having someone to lean on and not have to deal with the dating scene. It never really occurred to me that boredom and nausea can set into a relationship, even the ones that seem perfect on the outside. I learned that marriage is work and you have to be in it for the long run otherwise it can be a drag. I’ve also learned that it takes two and one partner cannot be the only one doing everything to make it better. This book can work well for men or women who are in their marriage for the long haul. It is written in a conversational, non-judgmental manner. The chapters start off with women sharing their marital experiences in a very candid and open way.
I would definitely recommend this book for ideas on how to save a stuck marriage or even single girls who are thinking about marriage.
I would definitely recommend this book for ideas on how to save a stuck marriage or even single girls who are thinking about marriage.
September 25, 2015
Although this book is targeted at married women- help them bring back the thrills and fun of the early days of their relationships, I found it really interesting. Starting the book, you could tell that a good amount of research has been done to quote life experiences. The qualitative research & the statistics approach are perfect, and the samples of the subject are relevant.
I found the tips easy to follow, realistic and practical. Even though, these words of wisdom are scattered all over the internet, putting them together in a structured and coherent way, demands a lot of hard work. Besides, it saves a lot of time for the readers. ‘To do’ section is equally thoughtful.
I think any married person, male or female, would be benefitted from this book. This is a kind of book every couple should have in their collection.
I hope author can come with a few similar topics about other aspect of relationships.
I found the tips easy to follow, realistic and practical. Even though, these words of wisdom are scattered all over the internet, putting them together in a structured and coherent way, demands a lot of hard work. Besides, it saves a lot of time for the readers. ‘To do’ section is equally thoughtful.
I think any married person, male or female, would be benefitted from this book. This is a kind of book every couple should have in their collection.
I hope author can come with a few similar topics about other aspect of relationships.
July 21, 2016
Being happily married for 18 years, I have only had to do a couple of the things mentioned in this book, but it doesn't mean to say that I didn't take in every word of it. Maybe, just maybe, I might need it as a marriage survival bible in the future, but as it stands, I have no need for it.
This book is very informative, giving the reader a good idea of how to keep your man satisfied. But a good relationship works both ways, in my opinion. I have given this book 4 stars, because of how well it is written. The author has taken testimonials from several people and put her own stamp on the proceedings, taking time to answer each individuals needs. It's starts of with the basics and then leads to the nitty gritty, the sexual aspects of it, of which I know nothing about, being married for so long.
Anyway, back to the review...the author goes into great detail with everything and it is well worth a read if you are struggling.
This book is very informative, giving the reader a good idea of how to keep your man satisfied. But a good relationship works both ways, in my opinion. I have given this book 4 stars, because of how well it is written. The author has taken testimonials from several people and put her own stamp on the proceedings, taking time to answer each individuals needs. It's starts of with the basics and then leads to the nitty gritty, the sexual aspects of it, of which I know nothing about, being married for so long.
Anyway, back to the review...the author goes into great detail with everything and it is well worth a read if you are struggling.
December 7, 2015
How to Get Your Boyfriend Back (From the Husband He Turned Into) by Julia Black is a must have for anyone in a romantic relationship. Julia has beautifully woven together a guide, that leads her readers into rediscovering the spark and keeping it alive. All relationships start out with a spark but keeping it strong as they years turn on, is the tricky part. Now, readers don't need to worry or stress over what to do. This perfect guide has readers finding tips and readings that will help them keep that spark or restart it. I thought this was indeed a great read. I am in my late twenties and thought this book was extremely useful. I am a worry wort and this book has given me the confidence and help to maintain the romantic relationship alive. Overall, Julia Black's guide is well-written and neatly organized. I would highly recommend this self-help book of hers to everyone.
June 24, 2016
Make Your Husband Your Boyfriend Again... by Julia Black is a must have for anyone in a romantic relationship. Julia has beautifully woven together a guide, that leads her readers into rediscovering the spark and keeping it alive. All relationships start out with a spark but keeping it strong as they years turn on, is the tricky part. Now, readers don't need to worry or stress over what to do. This perfect guide has readers finding tips and readings that will help them keep that spark or restart it. I thought this was indeed a great read. I am in my late twenties and thought this book was extremely useful. I am a worry wort and this book has given me the confidence and help to maintain the romantic relationship alive. Overall, Julia Black's guide is well-written and neatly organized. I would highly recommend this self-help book of hers to everyone.
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