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Not Afraid to Change: The Remarkable Story of How One Man Overcame Homosexuality
How One Man Overcame Homosexuality
256 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 1998
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May 17, 2024
THE NOW-REPUDIATED STORY OF A ‘POSTER BOY’ FOR FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, ETC.
(This book was published in 1998; you’ve perhaps heard that since, then, John Faulk has admitted that he is still gay, has been divorced by his wife, and of course is no longer associated with Focus on the Family, or Exodus International. And he no longer supports the ‘Ex-gay’ movement, or efforts to attempt to change an individual’s sexual orientation. However, here is what he said here…)
He recounts that when he was new to the LGBT movement, “I had gone to more bars, picked up gay lingo, and flirted a lot. As Jackie [a young woman] and I got to know each other better, however… She seemed to wrap her personality around me like a coil… ‘She knows I’m gay,’ I thought. ‘What’s her problem?’… [I] shared my dilemma with a gay friend… [who] broke out laughing, ‘Don’t you know Jackie is a notorious f=g-hag?... She’s … four feet tall with a colostomy. What man would want her?… You’re safe. Nonthreatening. You treat her like a lady and don’t demand sex in return. You’re what every woman wants!’” (Pg. 47)
He recounts, “We stopped to pick up Velveeta before we headed downtown. Velveeta---real name Kevin… I didn’t find hi particularly attractive, which was just as well. Lauren had told me about the unwritten code of drag queen. They don’t get sexually involved with one another.” (Pg. 94-95)
He encountered a group of fundamentalist anti-LGBT protesters, and mused, “Chills of revulsion and fear washed over me… ‘I hope I’m ruining their day,’ I thought. ‘Let them shriek, while Candi [Paulk’s drag queen identity], the most prominent drag queen in Columbus, drives right past them.’ Still, I couldn’t help but felt naked and exposed somehow. All too vulnerable---and terrified… To my horror I recognized one of the trainers from the health club I attended. He’d always been so kind to me. What in the world was he doing with this despicable bunch of Christians?” (Pg. 141)
After becoming a Christian, he reflected, “It was February 10, 1987. ‘I guess I’m a Christian now… But I still feel gay.’ Was I a gay Christian? Could there be such a thing? I wasn’t a bit changed as far as I would tell. I had no idea what to do next.” (Pg. 153)
He recounts an outing with Exodus International: “dozens of us gathered on the front steps in front of one of the administration buildings to be photographed for the very first Exodus poster. The poster featured a cheering throng of people---all of them ex-gay---with the bold headline: ‘Can homosexuals change? WE DID!’ It was wonderful to be a part of that historical group, photographed for this exciting project that has been ultimately disturbed all around the world.” (Pg. 186)
A Christian mentor, John Smid, advised him, “I want you to stop calling yourself ‘ex-gay.’ … The label of ex-gay is still connecting you with the past… So, from now on… you’re not an ex-gay; you’re a man. And not just a man, but a heterosexual. That’s how everyone sees you. And that’s what’s going to help you let Candi go---now and for good.’” (Pg. 194)
A year later, Paulk and his then-wife Anne wrote a book, ‘Love Won Out.’
(This book was published in 1998; you’ve perhaps heard that since, then, John Faulk has admitted that he is still gay, has been divorced by his wife, and of course is no longer associated with Focus on the Family, or Exodus International. And he no longer supports the ‘Ex-gay’ movement, or efforts to attempt to change an individual’s sexual orientation. However, here is what he said here…)
He recounts that when he was new to the LGBT movement, “I had gone to more bars, picked up gay lingo, and flirted a lot. As Jackie [a young woman] and I got to know each other better, however… She seemed to wrap her personality around me like a coil… ‘She knows I’m gay,’ I thought. ‘What’s her problem?’… [I] shared my dilemma with a gay friend… [who] broke out laughing, ‘Don’t you know Jackie is a notorious f=g-hag?... She’s … four feet tall with a colostomy. What man would want her?… You’re safe. Nonthreatening. You treat her like a lady and don’t demand sex in return. You’re what every woman wants!’” (Pg. 47)
He recounts, “We stopped to pick up Velveeta before we headed downtown. Velveeta---real name Kevin… I didn’t find hi particularly attractive, which was just as well. Lauren had told me about the unwritten code of drag queen. They don’t get sexually involved with one another.” (Pg. 94-95)
He encountered a group of fundamentalist anti-LGBT protesters, and mused, “Chills of revulsion and fear washed over me… ‘I hope I’m ruining their day,’ I thought. ‘Let them shriek, while Candi [Paulk’s drag queen identity], the most prominent drag queen in Columbus, drives right past them.’ Still, I couldn’t help but felt naked and exposed somehow. All too vulnerable---and terrified… To my horror I recognized one of the trainers from the health club I attended. He’d always been so kind to me. What in the world was he doing with this despicable bunch of Christians?” (Pg. 141)
After becoming a Christian, he reflected, “It was February 10, 1987. ‘I guess I’m a Christian now… But I still feel gay.’ Was I a gay Christian? Could there be such a thing? I wasn’t a bit changed as far as I would tell. I had no idea what to do next.” (Pg. 153)
He recounts an outing with Exodus International: “dozens of us gathered on the front steps in front of one of the administration buildings to be photographed for the very first Exodus poster. The poster featured a cheering throng of people---all of them ex-gay---with the bold headline: ‘Can homosexuals change? WE DID!’ It was wonderful to be a part of that historical group, photographed for this exciting project that has been ultimately disturbed all around the world.” (Pg. 186)
A Christian mentor, John Smid, advised him, “I want you to stop calling yourself ‘ex-gay.’ … The label of ex-gay is still connecting you with the past… So, from now on… you’re not an ex-gay; you’re a man. And not just a man, but a heterosexual. That’s how everyone sees you. And that’s what’s going to help you let Candi go---now and for good.’” (Pg. 194)
A year later, Paulk and his then-wife Anne wrote a book, ‘Love Won Out.’
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