Mom Set Free: Find Relief from the Pressure to Get It All Right

by Jeannie Cunnion, Elisabeth Hasselbeck (Foreword)

Moms are under so. much. pressure. Pressure that weighs us down and threatens to wipe us out. Are you ready for relief? Mom Set Free will empower you to parent in the confidence of God's grace and to experience the freedom you were created for.

We moms are told that we have to get it all right so our kids turn out right. We’re told that their entire futures are riding on our ability to perfectly orchestrate their lives. And we’re told that the strength of their faith hinges on ours . And we begin to believe that if we just try hard enough, we can actually “be enough.”

These impossible standards leave us stuck in worry, anger, guilt, comparison, and shame.

Jeannie Cunnion gets it. And in Mom Set Free she reveals how the Good News of the Gospel empowers us to live—and parent—in the freedom for which Christ has set us free.

Jeannie invites us to journey alongside her as we learn
* Lay down what God has not asked us to carry so we can thrive in what He has.
* Embrace our significance in our children’s lives in light of God’s sovereignty.
* Trust God with the children He has entrusted to us.
* Receive God’s grace so we can reflect God’s heart to our kids.

It’s time to breathe deeper, walk lighter, and reclaim the wonder and adventure of parenting.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian, Faith, Personal Growth, Christian Non Fiction, Audiobook

288 pages, Paperback

Published August 29, 2017

About the author

Jeannie Cunnion holds a Master’s degree in Social Work. Her professional background combines counseling, writing, and extensive speaking about parenting and adoption issues for organizations such as Bethany Christian Services and the National Council for Adoption. Jeannie also enjoys blogging on her website (www.jeanniecunnion.com), serving as the Council Co-Chairman at Trinity Church in Greenwich, CT, and leading various parenting courses and Bible studies when she and her husband Mike aren’t cheering on their three boys at one of their sporting events.

Reviews

[Christina DeVane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t agree with every little thing in this book- especially her wide wide range of Bible versions used. However, her premise has some powerful truth in parenting from a position of Spirit-filled grace not control. Not perfection, but a parent in pursuit of God (my child must see this). This is a great read for any parent especially for those who are heavy on law, control, and feeling the weight of I’m not doing it all right. At the same time, parenting is all about balancing law and grace together which can only be done effectively through the power of God. I’m a firm believer that the majority of parents don’t expect enough from their children, (mostly in character) yet they go in streaks of laying down the law then get frustrated and angry when they can’t control their child- this goes for all ages! ☺️

[Taylor Fisher · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for a mother's Bible study and am debating between 2 and 3 stars. While I did have a couple of good realizations while reading the book, it does not show an ability to rightly divide Scripture. It repeatedly uses The Message translation for verses that are theologically rich and important, but the Message version says something different theologically than what other more sound translations will say. Additionally, sometimes the author will take a great theological verse (like from Romans) and then take a left turn with that verse and use it to make a point that it is not making. Usually the point is theologically correct, but just not what that particular verse was saying. Ultimately there are many better books out there for moms and I don't think this book was worth the time spent.

[Lauren M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautiful reminder of God’s Grace for us. That when we accept His grace in our lives, we are free to pour that grace into our children and spouses as well. This parenting this is TOUGH but He never leaves our side. Just pray! 😍

[Tina "IRead2Escape" · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Mom Set Free. It not only gave me great tips for giving myself a break when it comes to the pressures of we put on ourselves about motherhood, but it just brought me closer to God in general. The only reason I gave this book 3 stars instead of 4 is because it got a little monotonous at times. Hence it taking me so long to read. I would find myself feeling like I was reading the same thing over and over, so I would take a break from reading it for a while and then go back to it. The good news about that was I never felt like I was forgetting anything or having to read back to refresh my memory.

I definitely feel like I am more aware of parenting with grace and I've seen a difference in my son since I've become aware. Don't get me wrong I've always tried to show patience and on occasion lose my mind like most moms. But, Jeannie does a great job at comparing our parenting methods with the way God parents us. It really made me look at things differently and now I'm not afraid to put myself in a "mom time-out" before I deal with a behavioral issue.

Honestly I recommend this book to anyone that has children of any ages. Heck I wish I would have read it when I was pregnant with my kids or they were babies. Great info and suggestions. I can see that I will go back to this book periodically for a reminder or pick me up when I'm starting to doubt my abilities as a mom or losing my mind more often than usual. Thank you Ms. Cunnion for helping this mom out.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mom Set Free: Find Relief from the Pressure to Get it All Right. (Parenting in the Confidence of God's Grace) by Jeannie Cunnion

There are alot of pressure on moms. Pressure from the world, ourselves, family, the church. It comes in all sizes and amounts.

If you have watched Encanto, maybe the song "Surface Pressure" resonates with you as a mom.

This book teaches how we don't need to place so much pressure on ourselves. We can live in grace and give grace, in return, to our kids. This is about parenting our kids through the Gospel. Giving grace to them and living with the grace of Christ ourselves.

Part one covers the different pressures we face. Part 2 is about the lies we believe as humans (and as moms) and the truths from scripture that debunks these lies. Part 3 is more practical ways of parenting with grace.

Every chapter was my favorite! But one that really resonated with me was letting our kids see our brokenness so they know how much we need Jesus' forgiveness just as much as they do.

This book is for any and all moms, moms of littles and moms of adults. For moms of littles this will help you as you raise your kids. For moms or adults it will help you learn that it is never your responsibility to save your kids and if they have chosen to walk away from Christ or are making bad choices, you are free from the guilt through Christ.

There is a Bible study workbook for this as well. I have to say I wish I had it, and it is going to be something I get and work through soon.

[Koren | the_blue_eyed_bluestocking · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was excellent. I borrowed this copy from our library and I wish I would have owned a copy because I needed to highlight and write in the margins! Jeannie shared such a beautiful and humbling experience through her words that have really made me question some things about my own self. I wish I could explain everything that made an impact on me here, but there is still so much swimming around in my head and so much application that could be made, that I just can't do it here and now.

This isn't just another "mommy book." There is real substance here. It is worth the read. But buy your own copy. Trust me.

[Darian Decker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book overall, but Part 3 specifically was so convicting. Solid, freeing, Biblical encouragement on living out a life of grace instead of shame as we can’t teach our kids God’s grace and unconditional love if we don’t show them what that looks like in our own lives by accepting it for ourselves.

[Holly Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every mother should read this!

[Andrew Wolgemuth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not in the target market of Mom Set Free: Find Relief from the Pressure to Get It All Right, but there's enough similarity in the pressures dads feel that I greatly appreciated the "set free" message as well.

Jeannie's core observation is that parents' desire to parent from grace requires that they experience and enjoy God's grace themselves. Otherwise, the likelihood is high that "showing them grace" becomes another pressure-inducing checklist. Her goal, then, is for moms to fully appreciate God's grace in their own lives and then apply that appreciation and its accompanying lessons in how they parent. Her walk-through a biblical understanding of grace is wise and helpful, and I found her discussion on grace and sanctification to be wise.

(full disclosure: the agency I work for represents Jeannie and this book)

[Abigail Westbrook · Rating 5 out of 5]

So glad I made time to reread this book. It impacted me even more than my first reading 3 years ago, and I underlined extensively. These truths of God’s love for ME, even in all my messy motherhood, are what I need to hear over and over. I also love her definition of grace and the practical ideas for how to parent from a position of belovedness and grace. Exactly what I need to learn.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Possibly the best parenting book I’ve ever read. Cunnion set me free from the mom guilt and reminded me that in order to parent from grace I must live in grace myself. I highly recommend this book to all moms.

[Rheanna Haines · Rating 2 out of 5]

I made the mistake of trying to listen to this book. The content in the first half of the book was good but they could not have picked a worse narrator. It was so hard to listen to the robotic voice paired with the informal language of the authors

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some really helpful reminders in this book that our progress in all areas (including parenting) should be rooted in God's work and love for us and not in our own efforts or strivings. Maybe especially helpful for a person like me who drifts toward perfectionism like the author seems to. I especially appreciated the second part ("Living in Grace") that compared common struggles we think/feel/do to God's truths.

Page 223 "Apart from living in union with and utter dependence on God, we can do no good thing. We might be productive, but we won't be fruitful - and there is a profound difference in the two. God produces the fruit, for the glory and praise of His grace. Have no doubt: part of God's purpose for us is to produce character in us - character that will point others to the nature of God. And this character is produced in us only when we rely on Him."

Page 183 "...weakness, as Paul is describing it, is different than sin. However, our weaknesses often lead us to sin. For example, my short temper (weakness) leads me to come down too hard on my kids (sin). My exhaustion (weakness) leads me to be selfish with my kids (sin). My lack of joy (weakness) leads me to parent with a critical spirit (sin). Without the divine power of Christ working through my weakness, my weakness leads to sin. But with the divine power of Christ comes obedience."

Also, shout out to Jeannie because I don't think I've ever read a parenting book that honestly acknowledged "how overwhelming, exhausting, and depleting the little years can be" (page 207). I really felt seen there for the first time in a parenting book.

My only complaints with this book were 1) it's length - chapters were short, but the overall book is 252 pages of content which seems wordy for the target demographic being mothers - and 2) the author using paraphrases like The Message for Bible verses instead of using a reputable translation.

[Suzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book contains such great reminders of who we really are as moms and why we’re here. “Our children don’t need us to be the perfection of Christ. They need to see us in pursuit of Christ. They need us to point them to Christ.” It’s ok to be imperfect. It’s ok to be broken. It’s ok to have cracks. “His love and light inside you can shine through your cracks, to the glory of his grace.” The only one who was perfect was Jesus. The only one who can save us and save our kids is Jesus. Accept God’s love and LIVE FROM IT. Live freely. Choose “wonder over worry, faith over fear, connection over control, joy over anger, humility over pride, and love over shame.”

Galatians 2:19-21 —> “...My ego is no longer central...The life you see me living is not ‘mine,’ but it is lived in faith by the son of God...if a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.”

“Come alongside your child [and everyone else] in grace, rather than coming down on them with shame.”

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

This bible study is Amazing! It's very insightful and it helped me to thinking differently (not just on parenting, but on life in general). It was more like a renewal of the mind for me. I'm just learning to truly know about God/Jesus (vs the robotic and going to the motions type of way...in fact I wasn't a believer for a decade) and if there is one thing I deeply learned from this book is the real meaning of GRACE. Yeah yeah...I've heard it many times through my 30 some years in life, but when I read this book, I cried on that one simple word, GRACE. Read it for yourself to find out. I can tell you, but it is much more if you can truly internalize the word with deep meaning.

[Mandi Jo Booher · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading how to find more grace in myself, my parenting and taking care of my kids on a controversial matter. Gave me ideas I didn’t think of and used the word to help with everyday disciplinary issues and how to handle them with grace. I’m not going to lie, I wish I would have been able to finish this with our group because I ended up listening towards the end and I didn’t like listening to this as an audible because I didn’t have any way of making notes or noting important details and there was a lot of good nuggets in this book. It was boring though without a group and I think a group makes this book better to be able to talk to other woman about a lot of the issues we face.

[Jeannette Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Feeling spiritually empty? Need your cup filled? This is the book. This is for the tired, weary, mom-guilt ridden women who need affirmed that everything is okay.

This book isn’t the most exciting or a page-turning-thriller, but it is full of depth and knowledge. Jeannie pours out scripture in this text and eases the woes and worries we have in motherhood. Thanks God for charging her with the conviction to write this book we all need.

With such a fire hose of scripture and good information, this book will probably be read several times by me during my lifetime. It’s relevant to all stages of life and motherhood.

[Renée Parks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was wonderful! The Lord used it to give me encouragement when I needed it the most. I am, as my husband would say, my own worst critic. I tend to be very tough on myself as I struggle with my shortcomings and imperfections as a mother. I tend to feel shame and frustration with myself when I make mistakes. This book has been a good reminder that I don’t need to carry shame and guilt about what I have or have not done but that I need to rest in God’s grace. If you are mom who struggles in a similar way, do yourself a favor, read this book! It will encourage and edify you!

[Hope Eifert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of great content and reminders, but I really wasn’t a fan of the writing. It had a lot of the same principles as Paul Tripp’s book, Parenting, but way preferred that one.

I saw some other reviewers comment on not liking the fact that she switches around between so many different versions of the Bible, and I thought it sounded like a petty complaint before I read the book, but I really disliked it too. It made it feel kind of cherry-picked.

That said, I really loved her compilation of Scripture at the end of the book. In spite of the version switching, it was a really great resource.

[Kelly Trepp · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful reminder of the grace in God's love for us and how we can employ that grace in our parenting, freeing us from the stress or struggle for perfection and releasing our children from that pattern to perform. The author humbly displays her own faults within examples of how to give ourselves and our children grace, while establishing lasting relationships with our children and laying the groundwork for a life of faith. The task she set before herself with this book was no small feat, and I think it delivered.

[Heather-Camille · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is revolutionary! I was in a place of frustration because my parenting techniques were not working. I was trying SO HARD! I learned that I needed to be “set free” of the pressure I was putting on myself and feeling like a failure by accepting God’s grace. By accepting God’s grace for me I am now able to extend that grace to my children and release them from the pressure of meeting MY expectations. We still uphold needed boundaries, but do it with a heart of grace so they can feel the love behind it. This book changed our family and I pray it will for yours too.

[Kierstin O'Brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jeannie does an amazing job pulling the truth of scripture into the most shame and guilt ridden parts of the journey of motherhood. She speaks so boldly many of the hidden thoughts we feel as mother’s when we take on God’s job as our own and fail to measure up. If you need grace, this book is for you. If you need freedom from the crushing pressure to be enough for your children, this is the book for you. This was such an encouraging and uplifting read. I highly recommend it to any mom struggling!

[Marianne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt this book was spot on when it came to explaining how we need to give grace and how we are not our child’s Savior. That we need to admit and show our kids we are not perfect, which is why we need Jesus. I felt like it moved slowly through the middle but my favorite part was the last three chapters where the author gets into practical application.

[Pam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read and great message for moms or anyone trying to raise godly children. Such great advice and in an easy to read manner. No preaching here, just love and understanding in the struggle some of us face daily. Great for a bible study group or just to read on your own to help you get prespective!

[Carla · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was filled with lots of truths that help me set myself free from all the ties of being a new mother. Now after reading I can look back and see how and from where I've been set free. It was lots of fun to enjoy in group with my sisters in Christ. I've been enjoying my seasons in motherhood!

[Mh Weyler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good reminders for burdened mothers, or anyone who carries the weight of feeling they aren’t enough. I didn’t find it as applicable to me in the stage I am now. Lots of Scripture (a pro— Gods word is living and active), but still felt like this preachers daughter was giving one of her dads sermons (with humility) rather than coming alongside as a friend to encourage.

[Lucy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was good. I read it as a mom read per Lamp and Light Homeschool curriculum's instructions. It has some really good encouragement on just leading our children along to Jesus, pointing them to Him, instead of feeling the pressure to be a "perfect" example, or feeling as if our life will make or break the way our children turn out. We can "be broken together."

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this for summer bible study and it rocked my world. All us American mommas should read this book as I would imagine the vast majority of us could relate to not ever being able to be enough in our lives.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was so excited to read this as part of a bible study with a moms group at church. However, I found it not helpful and repetitive. She presents some scenarios to which no mother could relate to. Would not recommend as a christian parenting book.

[Marné Hawkes Skelton Yates · Rating 4 out of 5]

"How would your life and your parenting look different if you really believed and lived from the truth that God can't stop loving you? Just as you are, not as you wish you were." Bring a highlighter, friends.