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Trust No Aunty
Based on her popular Instagram @Hatecopy and her experience in a South Asian immigrant family, artist Maria Qamar has created a humorous, illustrated “survival guide” to deal with overbearing “Aunties,” whether they’re family members, annoying neighbors, or just some random ladies throwing black magic your way.
We’ve all experienced interference from our Aunties—they are at family parties and friendly get-togethers, finding ways to make your life difficult, trying to get you to marry their sons, and telling you to lose weight while simultaneously feeding you a second dinner—and it has stunted our social growth and embarrassed us in front of our friends and cool cousins for years.
This tongue-in-cheek guide is full of advice designed to help you manage Aunty meddling and encourages you to pursue your passions—from someone who has been through it all. Qamar confesses to throwing sweatshirts over crop-tops to get out of the house without being questioned, hiding her boyfriend in a closet, and enduring overbearing parents endless pressuring her to become a doctor, lawyer, or engineer.
Holding onto your cultural identity is tough. Always interfering Aunties make it even harder. But ultimately, Aunties keep our lives interesting. As an Aunty-survivor and a woman who has lived the cross-cultural experience, Qamar defied the advice of her aunties almost every step of the way, and she is here to remind Trust No Aunty.
We’ve all experienced interference from our Aunties—they are at family parties and friendly get-togethers, finding ways to make your life difficult, trying to get you to marry their sons, and telling you to lose weight while simultaneously feeding you a second dinner—and it has stunted our social growth and embarrassed us in front of our friends and cool cousins for years.
This tongue-in-cheek guide is full of advice designed to help you manage Aunty meddling and encourages you to pursue your passions—from someone who has been through it all. Qamar confesses to throwing sweatshirts over crop-tops to get out of the house without being questioned, hiding her boyfriend in a closet, and enduring overbearing parents endless pressuring her to become a doctor, lawyer, or engineer.
Holding onto your cultural identity is tough. Always interfering Aunties make it even harder. But ultimately, Aunties keep our lives interesting. As an Aunty-survivor and a woman who has lived the cross-cultural experience, Qamar defied the advice of her aunties almost every step of the way, and she is here to remind Trust No Aunty.
192 pages, Hardcover
First published August 1, 2017
16 people are currently reading
1503 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 173 reviews
December 4, 2017
'In our culture, one could say it's damn near criminal not to know how to make a good cup of chai.'
I had way too much fun reading this! The section on colorism is so on point and it's great reading about all the different kinds of aunties because truth LOL. There are definitely some, if not all, relatable things in here.
'When I was growing up, the only culinary advice my mother passed down to me was "get out of my kitchen"' —also actually my mom 😂😂😂
I love that there seems to be much more illustrations than words because those definitely made the book for me. I'd even just buy a book with only Qamar's art in it since vibrant comic-book style art is my favorite.
I had way too much fun reading this! The section on colorism is so on point and it's great reading about all the different kinds of aunties because truth LOL. There are definitely some, if not all, relatable things in here.
'When I was growing up, the only culinary advice my mother passed down to me was "get out of my kitchen"' —also actually my mom 😂😂😂
I love that there seems to be much more illustrations than words because those definitely made the book for me. I'd even just buy a book with only Qamar's art in it since vibrant comic-book style art is my favorite.
September 25, 2017
I giggled and chuckled my way through this exuberantly-illustrated advice book. Maria Qamar's art is a reminiscent of Roy Lichstenstein, but with a desi sensibility. There were many times I found myself nodding, wincing, and grinning. If you grew up desi in a Western country, aunties and their meddling are a huge part of your life; Maria Qamar's irreverent take on aunties is light and funny while dispensing advice on navigating the two cultures.
Want to read
September 24, 2016A physical collection of these masterpieces?
Don't mind if I do.
Don't mind if I do.
November 24, 2017
I mean I was hooked at the dedication - WHEN DOES THAT EVER HAPPEN?! Recipes, tips, and a guide on how to survive different types of aunties all of us encounter in our lives with Qamar's sass and aesthetically pleasing artwork - what else do you need in a book?
The themes and content of this book were not only relatable because it's particularly aimed at people like me but also because of how the author shared her own experiences, and instead of making this a 'survival guide', gave it a more personal edge which made the book read kind of a novel at times. Furthermore, the discussion of some major problems within the South Asian culture that goes unnoticed, especially the skin bleaching and fair n lovely talk, definitely increased my rating for this, because this book shed light on things which should be talked and noticed more in South Asian households whilst effectively maintaining its lighthearted tone.
The artwork was incorporated well throughout the book and never disappointed, I absolutely LOVED IT! The only disappointment I have with this book was that somehow I was expecting more artwork and although the book has some, I felt at some parts, more of it could've been added and that would've made me super happy.
Nevertheless, this was a hilarious, anti-stress, super relatable read for me and I highly recommend it to all desis as well as people who are unfamiliar with South Asian/Desi culture because this'll educate you, ya'll!
P.S. Special shoutout to the daal and kheer recipe, super excited to try them out in college!
The themes and content of this book were not only relatable because it's particularly aimed at people like me but also because of how the author shared her own experiences, and instead of making this a 'survival guide', gave it a more personal edge which made the book read kind of a novel at times. Furthermore, the discussion of some major problems within the South Asian culture that goes unnoticed, especially the skin bleaching and fair n lovely talk, definitely increased my rating for this, because this book shed light on things which should be talked and noticed more in South Asian households whilst effectively maintaining its lighthearted tone.
The artwork was incorporated well throughout the book and never disappointed, I absolutely LOVED IT! The only disappointment I have with this book was that somehow I was expecting more artwork and although the book has some, I felt at some parts, more of it could've been added and that would've made me super happy.
Nevertheless, this was a hilarious, anti-stress, super relatable read for me and I highly recommend it to all desis as well as people who are unfamiliar with South Asian/Desi culture because this'll educate you, ya'll!
P.S. Special shoutout to the daal and kheer recipe, super excited to try them out in college!
January 7, 2018
I remember the day I realized I was turning into an aunty. It was tragic. But I’ve learned to accept it since then.
I READ THIS ENTIRE THING IN ONE FELL SWOOP THE MINUTE I PULLED IT OUT OF ITS BOX. A BOOK FILLED WITH HILARIOUS, ACCURATE AF OBSERVATIONS, MANY OF WHICH I’VE BEEN SCREAMING ABOUT FOR YEARS. (Chai tea lattes. Solutions to matchmaking scenarios. The workout regimen and lack of kitchen skills. Job security. WHY DON’T MINI ROTI EXIST.)
I want every brown person I’ve ever met to read this. (Non-brown people, also read this. Though I’m not convinced it won’t be a little confusing to them.) I also I’m going immediately to Maria’s website to buy some damn prints. They’re gorgeous.
4.5/5 stars, mostly because it’s not super rereadable? Other than the daal recipe that I’m going cook the fuck out of. But it’s definitely something to buy & keep as it’s a GREAT read and pretty to just look and flip through. Also, IMAGINE YOUR AUNTIES PICKING UP THIS BOOK FROM YOUR COFFEE TABLE. Keep it just for that.
I READ THIS ENTIRE THING IN ONE FELL SWOOP THE MINUTE I PULLED IT OUT OF ITS BOX. A BOOK FILLED WITH HILARIOUS, ACCURATE AF OBSERVATIONS, MANY OF WHICH I’VE BEEN SCREAMING ABOUT FOR YEARS. (Chai tea lattes. Solutions to matchmaking scenarios. The workout regimen and lack of kitchen skills. Job security. WHY DON’T MINI ROTI EXIST.)
I want every brown person I’ve ever met to read this. (Non-brown people, also read this. Though I’m not convinced it won’t be a little confusing to them.) I also I’m going immediately to Maria’s website to buy some damn prints. They’re gorgeous.
4.5/5 stars, mostly because it’s not super rereadable? Other than the daal recipe that I’m going cook the fuck out of. But it’s definitely something to buy & keep as it’s a GREAT read and pretty to just look and flip through. Also, IMAGINE YOUR AUNTIES PICKING UP THIS BOOK FROM YOUR COFFEE TABLE. Keep it just for that.
October 25, 2017
LOVE THE ART. LOVE THE QUIP. LOVE IT ALL.
January 28, 2018
Clever, hilarious, informative and unique! Worth every minute for this terrific GN.
March 13, 2018
Maria is a goddamn queen and genius. The book is a beautiful work of art while being a perfect portrayal of aunties and Indian (and other neighbouring countries too, I am sure) culture.
August 30, 2017
You guys, I'm totally obsessed with this hilarious book. Maria Qamar is wise and witty and crazy talented. Her ideal Bollywood movie and descriptions of types of guys she's dated were legit cracking me up. I also loved how it gave me genuine insights into parts of South Asian culture I wasn't familiar with, and also bits that I connected with from my own experience. Plus I am super excited to try out the recipes for kheer zara and daal.
March 4, 2019
This book gave me life! I laughed, I cried (from laughter), I read certain pages out loud for the rest of the family to hear. I tried to figure out which type of Aunty my mom would be, and could definitely see people matching the other "Aunty" descriptions.
This was a fun, light-hearted, easy read, with some great recipes as a bonus! Highly recommend it to anyone needing some laughter in their lives.
This was a fun, light-hearted, easy read, with some great recipes as a bonus! Highly recommend it to anyone needing some laughter in their lives.
October 7, 2019
Book Title : Trust No Aunty
Author : Maria Qamar
Genre : Humor / Hard Hitting Reality
Are you a Desi Girl? Are you someone who has been brought up in a desi household family? Then no fear when aunty is here. I had picked up this graphic purely on recommendation by my other reader friends and honestly speaking, the book is truly hard hitting.
Based on her popular Instagram @Hatecopy and her experience in a South Asian immigrant family, artist Maria Qamar has created a humorous, illustrated “survival guide” to deal with overbearing “Aunties,” whether they’re family members, annoying neighbours or just some random ladies throwing black magic your way.
If you are looking for a book that will make you laugh in splits throughout, this one is your pick. Eventhough it is more relatable to all the lovely ladies out there, you can even glimpse similar incidents as a desi boy as well. Out of the 7-8 different types of personalities that we have encountered in this book, Im sure each and every one of us would have experience some or all of it and I guarantee you, we are all in the same boat.
My Rating - 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 (5 out of 5)
Book in Few Words - Hilarious and Pretty Relatable
Author : Maria Qamar
Genre : Humor / Hard Hitting Reality
Are you a Desi Girl? Are you someone who has been brought up in a desi household family? Then no fear when aunty is here. I had picked up this graphic purely on recommendation by my other reader friends and honestly speaking, the book is truly hard hitting.
Based on her popular Instagram @Hatecopy and her experience in a South Asian immigrant family, artist Maria Qamar has created a humorous, illustrated “survival guide” to deal with overbearing “Aunties,” whether they’re family members, annoying neighbours or just some random ladies throwing black magic your way.
If you are looking for a book that will make you laugh in splits throughout, this one is your pick. Eventhough it is more relatable to all the lovely ladies out there, you can even glimpse similar incidents as a desi boy as well. Out of the 7-8 different types of personalities that we have encountered in this book, Im sure each and every one of us would have experience some or all of it and I guarantee you, we are all in the same boat.
My Rating - 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 (5 out of 5)
Book in Few Words - Hilarious and Pretty Relatable
June 30, 2020
As a fellow South Asian-Canadian, this book was absolutely hilarious! I enjoyed how she introduced each section with a different form of aunty, including many whom I've interacted with in real life. It also referred to various situations that were very relatable to me, especially regarding how third-culture/diasporic children deal with balancing our ancestral roots and the Western countries we grew up in. Moreover, I loved Hatecopy (Maria Qamar)'s graphic novel approach to this book, which has her trademark blend of pop art and South Asian culture.
Overall, this book was a quick fun read that hits too close to home, and I genuinely enjoyed it!
Overall, this book was a quick fun read that hits too close to home, and I genuinely enjoyed it!
February 25, 2023
3.5 stars First this book took a lot longer for me to read than I thought it would🤷. I expected it to be a little bit more humorous, but Qamar did a great job combining humor with educating us about Indian culture. I loved the food, recipes, and scenario sections the best
June 29, 2017
Such a fun book! Beautiful art, hilarious insight and tons of useful tips.
August 15, 2017
Even funnier than expected + SUCH beautiful art! Also behind the humor, this is a sneakily useful guide for desi ~rude betis~ in the diaspora who want to celebrate the aunties, community, and culture we come from but also want to critique the problems within desi culture and define our own relationship to it. I say "sneaky" only because I would be perfectly happy with humor alone, and it's there on every page, but at the same time Maria Qamar (IG: hatecopy) is on point with millennial diaspora concerns:
explaining/justifying non-traditional career choices to family, micro-aggressions at work, marriage pressures, dating culture, shadism and racism, quick and affordable recipes (for desi food AND beauty masks), appropriation, tips for maintaining a sense of self in the face of unsolicited and unhelpful """advice""" + more.
(Just writing this I see a theme of having to justify identity and life choices to parents/desis and then turning around and having to do the same thing for white people, hmmm.)
Anyway, I recommend this primarily for desi women in their 20s and 30s, but it's beautiful and funny so go for it no matter who you are -- and follow hatecopy on instagram if you don't already!
explaining/justifying non-traditional career choices to family, micro-aggressions at work, marriage pressures, dating culture, shadism and racism, quick and affordable recipes (for desi food AND beauty masks), appropriation, tips for maintaining a sense of self in the face of unsolicited and unhelpful """advice""" + more.
(Just writing this I see a theme of having to justify identity and life choices to parents/desis and then turning around and having to do the same thing for white people, hmmm.)
Anyway, I recommend this primarily for desi women in their 20s and 30s, but it's beautiful and funny so go for it no matter who you are -- and follow hatecopy on instagram if you don't already!
June 29, 2017
If you don't follow @hatecopy on Instagram yet, do it now. Maria Qamar's art is exuberant, unique, and hilarious, and so is this book.
January 23, 2018
Great artwork, the content is lacking
August 9, 2020
I keep this book in my bathroom. I bought it after I saw a woman reading it on the plane in the row ahead of me. I was attracted by the cover.
The cartoons are great and the book is a lot of fun. It has been sitting on the back of the toilet for 18 months, and I dip into it on the can. It is perfect for that purpose.
I haven't read it all yet, but feel justified in adding it to my list of Read Books.
Maria's home was "half Gujarati and half Bihari, by way of Bangladesh but located in Pakistan, so I was raised with four different cultures that seemed to be in confllict all the freakin' time. When I moved to Canada, we adopted a fifth culture."
Her book illustrates the culture clash of Indian/Pakistani and North America in a delightful way.
There are recipes, How to Tie A Sari, descriptions of different types of Aunties (who could be related or a neighbor or a woman on the bus) and their loving and exasperating advice, support and criticism.
I loved the part about skin color "Unfair and Lovely"--being lighter/darker and how Maria was considered both, depending on which country or company she was in at the time--how her Cultures judged her body and skin color and hair and how she was able to resist being defined by false standards.
Also loved the comments about weight--one Aunty criticizes you for being overweight, the other insists you eat another helping of her food--it might even be the same Aunty!
Super, super light cartoon
The cartoons are great and the book is a lot of fun. It has been sitting on the back of the toilet for 18 months, and I dip into it on the can. It is perfect for that purpose.
I haven't read it all yet, but feel justified in adding it to my list of Read Books.
Maria's home was "half Gujarati and half Bihari, by way of Bangladesh but located in Pakistan, so I was raised with four different cultures that seemed to be in confllict all the freakin' time. When I moved to Canada, we adopted a fifth culture."
Her book illustrates the culture clash of Indian/Pakistani and North America in a delightful way.
There are recipes, How to Tie A Sari, descriptions of different types of Aunties (who could be related or a neighbor or a woman on the bus) and their loving and exasperating advice, support and criticism.
I loved the part about skin color "Unfair and Lovely"--being lighter/darker and how Maria was considered both, depending on which country or company she was in at the time--how her Cultures judged her body and skin color and hair and how she was able to resist being defined by false standards.
Also loved the comments about weight--one Aunty criticizes you for being overweight, the other insists you eat another helping of her food--it might even be the same Aunty!
Super, super light cartoon
March 14, 2021
Picked this up from the library on a whim based on an Instagram story I saw. This was a delightfully hilarious read and I also learned a lot about a culture/cultures that I don't know a lot about (the author grew up partly in Pakistan and partly in Canada, but heritage-wise comes from multiple South Asian countries) and some Hindi (which I'm sure I will promptly forget).
There were some things I could relate to (overly controlling parents) but a lot that was different (super large families, dating boys, racism and shadism/colorism in the desi community specifically). I definitely was not the intended audience for the majority of the book and that is fine by me.
I also really appreciated that the author stayed rooted in her own experience but included in the abstract other axes of identity (e.g. mentioning that there are no Bollywood movies about coming out to your parents). While the analysis almost entirely lacked a class-based lens, she mentioned explicitly racism, sexism, and homophobia throughout the book.
Only thing that could have made it better would be more queer content.
There were some things I could relate to (overly controlling parents) but a lot that was different (super large families, dating boys, racism and shadism/colorism in the desi community specifically). I definitely was not the intended audience for the majority of the book and that is fine by me.
I also really appreciated that the author stayed rooted in her own experience but included in the abstract other axes of identity (e.g. mentioning that there are no Bollywood movies about coming out to your parents). While the analysis almost entirely lacked a class-based lens, she mentioned explicitly racism, sexism, and homophobia throughout the book.
Only thing that could have made it better would be more queer content.
June 15, 2025
This book made me giggle so much! A friend recommended it to me years ago while in med school, but I finally read it and I can’t believe I didn’t read it earlier. I wish this book had been around as a brown girl guide for my teenage years when I felt stuck in between desi and American culture, not quite belonging to either 100%, and as typical for teens, I thought I was the only one experiencing such a life. Thankfully for the younger generations now there is SO much desi representation in media nowadays and there are so many of us mixed-culture desis who are just trying to figure out where we belong.
July 5, 2018
Humorous tongue-in-cheek book on Indian (and Asian, really) aunty-types with color pictures and quotes. Includes useful advice for avoiding problems with the family and "boss moves" to stay out of trouble in various aspects of your life. It is difficult to read on the Kindle, though, so docking one star for not being more user friendly on e-reader devices.
August 4, 2017
I smiled through this whole book of absolutely hilarious explanations of aspects of Desi culture. The art is gorgeous too!
December 31, 2018
Desi and non-desi alike should give it a read! It’s hilarious and a good reminder to not be the Aunty standing in your own way.
September 3, 2024
Read like distinctly like millennial literature but I still enjoyed. I remember my own aunty showing me some of Hatecopy's work in her heyday and yeah, I still think it's pretty cool.
November 21, 2017
What a fun filled book!! Recipes, tips, and a guide on how to deal with different types of aunties all of us encounter in our lives with Maria Qamar's sass and aesthetically pleasing illustrations - what more do you need in a book?! The illustrations are BEAUTIFUL and incorporated so well. It's a really entertaining book which you will finish in just one sitting. I've never personally related to anything so strongly before!
December 31, 2017
Laugh out loud funny. Such a witty and hilarious take on all the issues that every desi girl deals with everyday.
May 28, 2023
Hilarious
June 4, 2018
This was fun. Obviously I'm not the target audience, but I still really liked this. Maria's stories were interesting and funny and brilliantly illustrated. I'd love to see more.
September 17, 2017
This. Book. Was. Amazing. So funny, so accurate. Perfectly captures the experience of being a South Asian woman in the western world. I identified with so many of the experiences the author wrote about, and literally laughed out loud at many of them. I highly recommend this.
January 17, 2018
Finished “Trust No Aunty” by Maria Qamar, a humorous graphic take on a self-help book on how to deal with an “Aunty.” • I didn’t know what to aspect exactly from this book but I loved the artwork so I picked it up. It was really funny with great art and it even included recipes. • Hardcover • Nonfiction - Humor, Memoir, Self-Help • ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ • Recommended by Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast.▪️
Displaying 1 - 30 of 173 reviews