Nude Men

by Amanda Filipacchi

Jeremy Acidophilus's life is going nowhere, until he meets a beautiful woman in a coffee shop. Lady Henrietta paints new nude men and wants Jeffrey to pose for her. But things get complicated when Henrietta's precocious, voluptuous 11-year-old daughter seduces Jeremy.

Genres: Fiction, Novels, American Fiction, Literature

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1993

About the author

Amanda Filipacchi is the author of three previous novels, Nude Men, Vapor, and, most recently, Love Creeps. Her writing has appeared in Best American Humor and elsewhere. She lives in New York.

Reviews

[Dominique · Rating 1 out of 5]

I despised this book. It represented everything I hate: humor over statutory rape (sexy sex scenes between an 11 year-old-girl and a 29 year-old-man?!), humor based on the coarseness of low self-esteem (people calling themselves maggots constantly), brain tumors, car accidents, knives, beating up parrots, killing fish... and all of this is supposed to be funny, witty, and avant-garde. Please. May the world be a place where we don't need to seek humor in the smells of rotting flesh and scenes of an 11-year-old straddling a grown-up with a Mickey Mouse mask on while spending a week at Disney World. I kept on reading because I hoped the end would take the bitter taste out of my mouth. Instead it made the entire exercise feel even more pointless than before. A slow read because the whole time you are questioning why the hell you are reading it. To be fair, there were one or two funny scenes about bad magicians. But, honestly, not worth reading the book for.

[Cherise · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not quite sure what to say about this book, except I absolutely loved it.

Jeremy leads a pretty mundane life as a fact checker/filer at a local celebrity magazine. He has a messy apartment, a cat he converses with and a girlfriend he barely tolerates. His life takes an exciting turn when he is approached by a beautiful woman, Lady Henrietta, who asks if he would pose for her nude. He accepts.

He’s completely infatuated with the stunning artist and long after the painting is done, he continues to come around hoping to gain a more intimate relationship. But life has other plans for him and he finds himself charmed by and attracted to her 11 year old daughter, Sara.

I admit when I read the descriptions of the story and other reviews and found out about the sexual relationship between a grown man and an 11 year old girl I was completely turned off. The word “ew” came to mind, repeatedly. But this tale is so much more than a perverted older man having sex with an 11 year old; it’s actually a very small part of the story. I was shocked to find out I didn’t find it to be as perverse as I thought it was going to be.

What helps to erase the “ew” factor is that Sara is no ordinary 11 year old. She has been raised by a free thinking and perhaps too open Mother who encourages her daughter to say, and do whatever she thinks and feels. Sara is a combination of old lady and little girl trapped in a woman’s body. She is a bundle of contradictions that both attract and repel. SHE comes on to Jeremy, repeatedly, determinedly, and he puts up a good fight for as long as he can.

The relationships between Jeremy, the women in his life (including his cat) and his subconscious are brilliantly written. This tale is crazy, hilarious, daring, politically incorrect, tragic, ironic, but most of all tremendous. Every character in this story has a remarkable way of cutting through the BS and just being real and true to themselves. A more colorful cast of characters you will never find. Its brutal honesty isn’t always pleasant, but I think that’s what makes it so great. I laughed, I cried, I didn’t want to set it down and I didn’t want it to end.

Cherise Everhard, March 2009

[Betsy Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

The surrealistic adventures of protagonist Jeremy Acidophilis, a fact checker with a kind of Asperger's way of perceiving the world, feels like a twisted sex dream—the kind of dream where you know you're all the people: a child who is not remotely childlike but behaves and sounds like an oversexed woman; a man with good intentions who, although he is appalled by the child, does the worst thing a man can do; an overbearing, sexually inappropriate, omnipresent punishing mother, etc. This is the kind dream we never want to recount to anyone because it will reflect badly on us, yet at the same time, it's an iconic dream of doing everything no sane human is supposed to do—every crazy impulse we control, repress, or deny. This is a naked-in-public dream.

(Caveat: If you can't, don't want to, or don't naturally go to this dream place within, you will likely be turned off by this book. However, if you're intrigued by going to dreamland within, read on.)

In order to attempt to explain my own work and find copasetic readers, I've often (including in my Goodreads bio) told the story of radio host Jonathan Schwartz's anecdote about Stephen Sondheim: after Sondheim sold 25,000 copies of a book, someone asked him how he felt about it. "It's always the same 25,000," replied Sondheim despairingly. Schwartz believes that the reason for the radically divergent (negative/positive) responses to Sondheim's work is that he exposes everything we wish most to hide or deny about ourselves. And for many people, this is variously enraging, boring, disgusting, or it just doesn't make any sense to them. Seeing the same work, others feel grateful. Perhaps they are in awe, freed from constraints they didn't even know they had. "That's in me!" we gasp; and whether horrified or amused, we laugh, moan, rock, and have some kind of catharsis because we have been energetically poked, prodded, and maybe even pierced. Filipacchi writes with this kind of energy and effect.

We all have our own wonderful reasons for reading. Sometimes we just want to be entertained. We want a good story, a laugh, a diversion. We have plenty of other places in our lives to do work on ourselves and plenty of options for discomfort. If you're feeling this way, stay away from Filipacchi's work! However if you need and value transformation more than you do comfort and you like having such experiences from reading, for goodness sake, read Filipacchi's books; I would start with the most recent, The Unfortunate Importance of Beauty because it is the most artistically mature.

Nude Men is the third of Filipacchi's books that I have read in very quick succession/obsession; it is the first book that she wrote (published in 1993 when she was only twenty-six!). What's mesmerizing to me is that what is often a pretty horrifying dream is conveyed with an almost transcendental delight. She writes with energy that has the power to mess with you, and for me, receiving that kind of energy is a great gift.

[Linda Smolenski · Rating 1 out of 5]

The worst book I have had the misfortune of reading. I felt sick after reading it. I am forever haunted by it. I wish I never touched this vile creation.

[Hailie King · Rating 2 out of 5]

Let me start by saying that his book was not what I expected based on the overview in Libby. Maybe if I had looked it up on Goodreads I wouldn’t have been so shocked from the start.

It was super well written but just not for me. I was expecting it to be more comedic and far less thought provoking/uncomfortable. The second half was more enjoyable but it took everything in me to push through to that point in the book. It was truly just bizarre.

Part of me wonders if I’d enjoy it more if I ever read the book that Lady Henrietta emulated her life off of - with that said though I’m not curious enough to read that book now too.

[Lyon]

I didn’t get to finish this book due to the boredom. A good beginning, but slowly getting tedious
I feel like the author isn’t sure how to keep things refreshing..
Perhaps will continue on sometimes and I am still interested in the plots

[Lolly K Dandeneau · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 1/2 stars... Initially read this years ago but decided to re-visit it. It is an uncomfortable subject (11 yr old seductress) on one hand, but on the other it carries us with it's strangeness. Filipacchi certainly plays with the reader, and is never predictable. Handling the untouchable subject using humor is what makes the novel clever. When Jeremy is approached to pose nude in the name of art by the beautiful Lady Henrietta, this 'unremarkable' man is seduced by her 11 year old daughter. To prevent her son from crossing the line, his mother interfere's by using hired strangers to make him feel shame about 'molestation' through seemingly random encounters. What a fun idea! The death scene is loaded, with 'male nudity' at it's core. It is a smart novel to be sure, there were just times I felt uninterested. I adore her writing, it just isn't my favorite Filipacchi novel, though I certainly 'got it'. It raises questions about sexuality most people don't want to visit. For most readers, particularly females, it's just too hard to overlook the fact Sara is a child, magnetic or not. As readers, we can dissect what the author was doing here, poking at morals, challenging reactions- but it's more than just a novel in the vein of Lolita (in some ways I hate mentioning Lolita at all). There are other things being said about people as a whole through other eccentric characters. It certainly begs to be read. I liked it.

[Kerri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hmmm. Well its been a while since I've read a book in one day. I've never felt so guilty for laughing out loud for a book that deals with a 29 year old man being seduced by an 11 year old. This book was hysterical, up until this turn around point where it just gets depressing and even creepier. The main character has an amazing voice and view of the world. This is the story about Jeremy, who hates his job, his girlfriend, his messy apartment, and talks to his cat. One day at his new favorite coffee shop in the city he meets Lady Henrietta who asks Jeremy if she can paint him nude. He agrees to it, trying to build up confidence and reassure himself that he is NOT FAT. He falls in love with Lady Henrietta, but she tries to set him up with her friend Laura so that she can get with Laura's brother. Yea, very complicated. Jeremy meets Lady Henrietta's beautiful 11 year old daughter, who becomes infatuated with him and seduces him in Disney World. I laughed out loud for the majority of this book, but as usual the nude men (or lack there of) in our lives, can be disappointing.

[Charlotte Russell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read this in one sitting from start to finish. I wouldn't, however, equate the tempo of reading to the level of enjoyability. The book had an interesting set-up and was written with wit, but towards the end it got pretty weird to say the least... I felt more as though I just wanted to get it over with because I knew I wouldn't return to it if I put it down.

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best books I've ever read. Terribly funny, disturbing, painful and haunting. The story centers around an incident that our culture find politically incorrect, but who cares!!! Just read this. It is amazing!

[Katyak79 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Interesting back factor: this book was her masters thesis at Columbia university so maybe I am just not smart enough to understand what the intent here is?

This is supposed to be funny and transgressive, and it is funny during a few times but one of the central things that happens here is just gross. An 11 year old girl sleeping with an adult man is not okay, regardless of how 'mature' or 'unusual' the girl is. That's some gross pedo mentality right there. This novel is supposed to be comedic and absurdist but it was hard for me to find it funny because every single character in this book speaks like they are on the spectrum. That's not a bad thing, but there is not one single likeable character in the whole book and it drove me crazy. Sara is a pushy creepy psychotic nympho child, her mother is possibly the shittiest parent in lit this year, and the protagonist is an insecure creepy weirdo who thinks it's okay because the child started it. Add an idiotic transgressive artist, animal cruelty, and brain tumors and you get a book that feels like it's trying OH so hard to be edgy, but actually works at Hot Topic.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dit boek was bizar en niet per se op een positieve manier.
Allereerst is het nogal controversieel, een man van 29 die verleid wordt door een veel te emotioneel volwassenene 11-jarige. Daar valt sowieso al veel van te vinden/ te zeggen. Maar vervolgens gaat het verhaal alle kanten op.
Ik weet oprecht niet wat ik ervan moet vinden. Gewoon niet mijn cup of tea. Het las wel makkelijk weg ofzo, maar heeft me confused achter gelaten.

2,5 ⭐️

[Andrew]

An updated version of the Dolores Haze book? I guess. Frankly I thought it was pretty fuckin boring, without any of the charm that Vladimir N. was able to bring to similar themes of old artistic weirdo and sexually precocious tween. I’m not sure how I learned about Amanda Filipacchi’s writing – some recommendation in the haze of history, I feel like this book has been on my list for years – but I can’t say I’m interested in reading any more.

[Maren · Rating 4 out of 5]

so do you guys think Sara's parrot and Jake's parrot from A Touch of Jen know each other or what?

[Venus Maneater · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got to pick out a book at the local free library, and I went in totally blind, thinking that the title referred to the contents. Well....it did, but in no way as I expected!


Jeremy is truly a dispicable human being, a sad slug of a man with issues the size of elephants. I loved Minou, though! She is one sassy cat. Sarah I liked as well. I knew girls like her. Short-lived, intense.

The way Filipacchi describes the sexual relationship between Jeremy (29) and Sarah (11) is so incredibly unsexy that found myself able to finish this book without any troubles, unlike when I read Lolita.

Somehow it reminded me of American Psycho? Don't know why, yet. Gives me stuff to think about.

[Ludmilla · Rating 3 out of 5]

absürt olayla dolu bir kitap. güzel ressama çıplak poz vermeye razı olan kahramanımız kendini karmaşık durumlar içinde buluyor: ressamın erken gelişmiş kızının ona aşık olması, ne dans ne sihirbazlık içeren danslı sihirbazlık gösterisiyle üne kavuşan aşığı, oğlunun yanlışlarını yüzüne vurmak için adam kiralayıp senaryolar yazan annesi vs vs. bir solukta okunacak, çokça güldürecek bir kitap. tabii 11 yaşındaki kız ile ilişkisinin komik gösterilmeye çalışılsa da rahatsız edici olduğunu gizlemeyeceğim. notum 3.5

[Shirma · Rating 1 out of 5]

hhmmm.. Feel as though I've wasted my time. Yet, there is something very creative, imaginative about this book. It was like reading the ramblings of a mad man. It made me laugh. It made me angry. But mostly I felt frustrated, I wanted to be over with it. An eleven year old having sex with a twenty-nine year old, brain tumor and low self-esteem are all part of this bizarre story. Maybe I just haven't yet acquired a taste for this writer's work.

[Wes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book because it challenged one of our most sacred cultural beliefs, that of the sexual innocence of a child. It's a topic that holds such extreme taboo in our society that it rarely is spoken about in an open way, to detrimental effect. I applaud the author for treading into these dangerous and murky waters.

[Meisje in het gele huis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ik weet oprecht niet zo goed wat ik van dit boek moet vinden. Het is een van de vreemdste boeken die ik ooit heb gelezen, dat weet ik wel... Het is geen slecht geschreven boek, maar de thematiek is nogal verontrustend en het voelt alsof je een hele vreemde droom hebt gehad, toch kon ik het niet echt wegleggen

[Therese Wiese · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting...a "magic" dancer, a painter of nude men, and her 11 year old daughter who is ready to get laid. Oh, and the man who sleeps.with them all.

[Dan Light · Rating 1 out of 5]

What trash!,

There nothing to justify this books existence. It's terribly disjointed and caters to someone's urge to read about an adult male screwing an 11 year-old child.

[LybGyde · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read the whole book in one day. It held my attention, yes, but it was just too freaking bizarre and the ending left me scrunching up my face with confusion.

The first chapter hooked me! I wondered if the guy telling his story was on the spectrum and therefore his perspective was skewed. Plus, he lacked social skills! His interpretation of people’s intents seemed way off to me. His responses seemed…very odd. His perception of the world around him often didn’t make sense. He had an elevated sense of self while at the same time punished himself or allowed others to punish him for his inadequacies and “sins.”

After meeting the female painter, the mother of 11-yr-yr-old Sara, he imagines that she must have chosen him as a nude painting subject because she really wanted to get to know him better. She makes it clear this is not the case, but a weird love triangle and an even weirder love square develops with him being the only male. There are plenty of other odd characters to meet in this story. And there’s a Mickey Mouse mask that will haunt me and that I will never look at with childhood nostalgia again. I might vomit a little when I next see one. (Shudder)

The ending was…very strange. Did someone drown? Or was it a play on words? I have no idea, and I can’t find the answer online. I want no more of this author.

[Katja · Rating 1 out of 5]

First of all, let me explain something. This book is so not the type that I usually go for. My aunt gave it to me roughly 6 months before she passed away. I read the back cover when I got the book and was not interested at all so I left it in the shelf. But after my aunt's sudden passing, it became important for me to read this book. I also have a rule that once you start reading something, you're supposed to plough through it, no matter how bad the book is. This particular book is the weirdest thing I have ever read. I know art is supposed to shock you and deal with the topics that are taboo in everyday conversation. But still, there are limits if you ask me and in this book, those limits are crossed. To me, this was again one of those books that was written simply because the author wants to win a prize. The best way to win one? Write about something that nobody else writes about, in a style nobody else uses. These things are accomplished. Thankfully, the book was short and a fast read so I didn't have to suffer for long.

[Sanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Provocative. Uncomfortable. Definitely not with a wide appeal especially in terms of its subject. Intriguing debut but whether it's my discomfort with the subject or disconnect with the overall execution, I did not appreciate this one as much as some of the other Amanda Filippachi's works. Though I enjoy absurdist elements of Filipacchi's writings, I struggled a bit with this one.

Thanks to NetGalley and Open Road Integrated Media for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!

[Angie 💕 · Rating 1 out of 5]

The ending was upsetting, and not upsetting in a good way. It was a waste of a read. I tried to find the deeper meaning in the book, but there was none. At least to me. This books story reminds me a lot of the book “Diary of an Oxygen Thief.” It was a let down. The only reason I give it 2 stars was because there were some points where I was caught off guard in an intriguing way. Maybe I do not have a knack for these types of books yet, but I did not enjoy it.

[Manon Mertens · Rating 2 out of 5]

Het leest als een trein en de personages zijn intrigerend. Het verhaal lijkt ergens op aan te sturen dat je ontrafelt wil zien, je vraagt je af naar waar de personages zullen evolueren. De laatste hoofdstukken worden de personages echter onherkenbaar, raken doorgedraaid en gestoord. In de laatste pagina's ontbreken ook alle details... wat gebeurt daar nou net? Geen idee...

[Aly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought I was never gonna get a copy of this. I’ve always loved the author’s writing and the kink she puts in her stories. I think she’s truly original. What a story-teller Amanda is! Her work The Unfortunate Importance of Beauty is one of my all-time-favorites which is the reason why this book is only a three. TUIOB set the bar quite high.

[Ariel · Rating 2 out of 5]

What did I just read? This was hands down the most bizarre book I have ever read. I should note that I read it as part of a reading challenge and definitely would not have picked it on my own. Much of this book didn’t make a lot of sense and I think most of the characters were in need of psychological help.

[J R · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel from 1994 I found by mistake on my Libby account. I almost didn’t finish reading this absolutely bizarre, politically incorrect novel but decided to give it a chance. I’m glad I did. It’s definitely a strange novel but found myself laughing from the absurdity of the characters. The story reminds me of that 1985 dark comedy, After Hours starring, Griffin Dunne.

Good read indeed.

[Daniel Thackeray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just wanted to say it's quite amusing to see people's reaction to this book. Calling it vile, disgusting... It's bloody fantastic! What do you want, predictable drivel? Like nothing you've read before.