101 Ways to Flirt: How to Get More Dates and Meet Your Mate

by Susan Rabin, Barbara Lagowski

Since the publication of her groundbreaking book  How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace , love guru Susan Rabin has heard from hundreds of people who have used her innovative flirting techniques to enhance their lives. In this delightfully instructive guide, she draws on their fascinating front-line experiences, as well as her own professional expertise as a therapist, communications consultant, coach, lecturer, and writer to provide 101 foolproof techniques for meeting people. Included are:

   •  Great opening lines that aren't dependent on the weather
   •  The Master Flirt's top twenty all-time best places to flirt
   •  Techniques that allow you to make the most of "chance encounters"
   •  Flirting devices that always work
   •  Unabashedly outrageous, over-the-top flirting strategies that attract attention
   •  How to tell if he or she is sending you a nonverbal invitation
   •  Flattery that gets you somewhere - and much more

Genres: Relationships, Self Help

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

Susan Rabin, MA is the author of two best-selling books published by Penguin, How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace and 101 Ways to Flirt. Both books have been in bookstores for twenty years. In addition, she has authored Lucky in Love, Cyberflirt, and The Summer Train: A Woman’s Journey from Desperation to Celebration (2014). Susan has appeared on numerous radio and TV talk shows including Oprah Winfrey, Good Morning America, Letterman, Leno, CNN, the O’Reilly Report, and quoted by the New York Times and magazines such as Cosmopolitan, People and Mademoiselle.

She was formerly the Family Living/Sex Education Coordinator for the NYC Board of Education and a Guidance counselor. She is presently a relationship therapist, trained in cognitive therapy by Dr. Albert Ellis

Reviews

[Abi]

The book is dated. Nevertheless, some of the techniques don't' seem to bad.

Break up the pack. The opposite sex could get scared off by having to go through your friends to get to you. If you're too chicken for that, agree to mingle on your own for a little while at parties.

Smile at everyone.

Sincere smiles always make you feel wanted.

Short, repetitive glades indicate "of all the faces in this crowd, yours is the most interesting to me"

If a man strokes his tie in your presence, it could be the male equivalent of preening.

A man with relaxed brows is probably bored by you whereas a man with wide-eyes is surprised and excited.

A man who uses the arm guide doesn't want to lose you in a crowd and is simultaneously marking his territory.

Pretent to take pictures of scenery to attract conversation in public,

If you're really shy smile at 10 strangers a day then progress to saying hello to 10 strangers a day.

Use the line "I bet there's a story behind that…"

Make an interactive Halloween costume such as a refrigerator with snacks inside.

Don't overly attach yourself to one interest at a party but do let him know you'll be back and glance his way occasionally. "I promised the host I'd mingle"

A brief firm handshake with a broad smile could mean he's playing to the crowd

A sweaty shake could mean he's just as nervous as you are

The bone crusher is probably too showy

A stiff-postured shake w/o leaning in could mean he's inflexible

Regardless of gender, you can use the hand-over-hand clasp to impress or hold longer than necessary


The bored, above-it-all look and vague disinterested answers are a turnoff for men

Don't tell him about your problems, he'll think "do I need hers too"

Compliment another woman to show you're not catty nor insecure

Look at his car to see if he's attached. A minivan doesn't make sense for most single men (laborers)

Pay attention to "we" slip of the tongues. We vacationed in the south

Ask him how much groceries and takeout cost if he's responsible for his own care, he should know


Use flirting props such as life-size cutouts of famous people in your car to spark conversation

Don't just ask the cute guy at the gas station for directions go back and thank him…give your mechanic cookies

Be cognizant of incongruous gestures such as nodding no but saying yes

ask open-ended questions

zero in on commonalities

refer back to past conversations

if you forget his name…show you were interested by recalling the conversation.."your story about…was great but I've seen to forgotten your name

volunteer to role play at seminars

standing with 1 foot pointed toward you and the other away means he's begging to get away from you

tapping anxiously wants to get away--let him!

rubbing legs together or smoothing pants he's interested

ask for wine or food recommendations

rent a motor scooter abroad

"I'd love to thank you by buying you a drink"

Go public (no one in particular-see who'll take the bait) with your trivial inner thoughts in a waiting room, airport, etc...

[Mark · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yeah, someone gave me this book because they felt sorry for me. I actually read it. I don't remember much about it. I remember the two-handed hand shake. That's it. I don't think it helped me much, but I got married anyway so who cares? I later passed it on to a friend. I'm pretty sure he's still single.

[Ian Schultz · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are a few, very few, good pointers in this work. There are two glaring issues here. One, I'm a man and this work, while having some pointers for men, is about 80/20 leaning towards a female reader. Which leads me to the second issue, the change in culture since publication...this book was published in 1997, culture has shifted drastically since then, especially "inter-gender" dynamic. A lot of the foundational body language is on point but there are an abundance of "tips" that, as a man in 2022, simply are not appropriate anymore. Piece of advice from me is, don't read a dating/flirting how to that predates 9/11, Social Media, Me Too and Online Dating.
Stay away from this one...I'm sure at the time it was fine, but to the authors defense, it's simply outdated information that is no longer valid 25 years after its publishing.

[Siim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Did not really learn anything new, but rather confirmed what I already thought. Simple book to read if you really don't know anything about flirting.

[Kelly Linzey · Rating 4 out of 5]

was destroyed in the flood.